1 00:00:10,119 --> 00:00:13,040 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another new episode of 2 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:16,440 Speaker 1: Couch Talks. My name is Kat and couch Talks is 3 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:19,480 Speaker 1: the bonus episode of You Need Therapy, where I answer 4 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 1: questions that you guys send into me and if you 5 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,280 Speaker 1: have a question, you can send it to Catherine at 6 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: You Need Therapy podcast dot com. Quick reminder up top 7 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 1: as always that yes, I'm answering these questions, and yes 8 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:35,120 Speaker 1: I'm a therapist, that this is not therapy, and it's 9 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 1: just me talking about some stuff. So if you are 10 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:42,720 Speaker 1: a regular listener of the show and you listen to 11 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 1: Monday's episode, you listen to some of the conclusions from 12 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: my social media experiment that I did where I unfollowed 13 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 1: everybody to see how that changed how I felt about 14 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: my life, how it changed how I used Instagram, how 15 00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 1: it changed how I interacted with my friends. It just 16 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: wanted to know what would show up and how I 17 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 1: could learn to use Instagram in a better, healthier and 18 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,840 Speaker 1: more helpful way. Because I love Instagram and I'm not 19 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,399 Speaker 1: gonna go super into that. You can go back and 20 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 1: listen to that episode. But I did get a question 21 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,840 Speaker 1: last night after a listener listened to it, and I 22 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: think It's something that I want to address now while 23 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 1: we're on the topic, because it is something that I 24 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 1: wish I would have talked about more in that episode. 25 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 1: So I'm going to read the question, and then of 26 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: course we keep it anonymous, and then we're gonna talk 27 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:33,280 Speaker 1: about it. So the question is, Hi, Cat. I listened 28 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 1: to your podcasts from Monday about your social media break, 29 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:39,000 Speaker 1: and I really enjoyed it. I also read your post 30 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,679 Speaker 1: that you made on Instagram on Sunday before you released 31 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,039 Speaker 1: the episode. I related to a lot of what you 32 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:46,679 Speaker 1: were talking about when you spoke about how sometimes you 33 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 1: just don't want to see other people's highlights because it 34 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 1: reminds you of what you don't have. It sounds like 35 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: during the experiment you had a realization that even though 36 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: you don't have certain things, you also have a lot 37 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:00,160 Speaker 1: of other, really wonderful things, and so it's easy year 38 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,919 Speaker 1: for you to now not get caught up in the comparison. 39 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 1: I'm wondering if you can talk more about this. I'm 40 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: having a really hard time lately watching my friends and 41 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 1: family members continue to move through life milestones that I 42 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:14,400 Speaker 1: desire very deeply, and I'm not even close to having them. 43 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: I don't want to come off as jealous or insensitive 44 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 1: or distant, but very often I can't even bring myself 45 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:24,080 Speaker 1: to congratulate and celebrate my friends. I feel like a 46 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 1: bad person, And even writing this, I'm worried I'm coming 47 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: off as pathetic. I don't have a bad life, but 48 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 1: if I were to be honest, I would trade some 49 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: of my highlights for the things I keep seeing on Instagram. 50 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 1: How do I find more joy in my own life? Okay, 51 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:40,640 Speaker 1: I'm so so glad that you asked this question and 52 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 1: want I just want to like give you a hug 53 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: because I feel some of that with you, and I 54 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,960 Speaker 1: want to address this deeper because there's that one line 55 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,519 Speaker 1: that you say. It seems like you had the realization 56 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,119 Speaker 1: that even though you don't have certain things, you also 57 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 1: have a lot of other wonderful things, and it's easier 58 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:55,840 Speaker 1: for you to not get caught up in the comparison 59 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:58,679 Speaker 1: because of that. There's still an essence of comparison in that, 60 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 1: and I want to talk about that because that's really 61 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: not why it's easier for me to be on Instagram 62 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,640 Speaker 1: and see people's highlights. It's not because I have things too, 63 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 1: And so I'm like Oh, I have things too, so 64 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: I'm not sad about that. I'm still sad about those things. 65 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 1: And I have things that I can share and be 66 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:20,399 Speaker 1: grateful for and and live into as well. So it's 67 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 1: not a so, it's an and. But before we get 68 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:24,640 Speaker 1: into the meat of all of this, I think it's 69 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: important to acknowledge that the mindset that I have, in 70 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 1: the mindset that we're talking about, in the belief systems 71 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 1: that I'm talking about, are things that we all have 72 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 1: to actively practice. Thinking it once or twice or reading 73 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 1: a post about it or hearing me talk about is helpful. 74 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,880 Speaker 1: But to gain actual shifts in your own self, you 75 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 1: have to practice adjusting yourself talk and behavior. So don't 76 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: be too hard on yourself. If this doesn't automatically change 77 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 1: the way you live your life, it's something that you 78 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 1: might have to come up with, like almost like initiatives 79 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 1: to help shift your mindset in this and and and 80 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 1: change behaviors and yourself talk. So let's get into it, 81 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,320 Speaker 1: and let's start with the idea of comparison. Like I 82 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 1: said on Monday, it's a very natural thing. And if 83 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 1: we peel back some layers, we can see that comparison 84 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: ends up pinning us against each other. Right, So there's 85 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 1: a competition. And in this case and the case that 86 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:13,600 Speaker 1: I'm talking about, it's like there's a competition to win 87 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,920 Speaker 1: at life. I can talk for my own experience where 88 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 1: it feels like to win at life would mean like 89 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,279 Speaker 1: you get married and then you have a kid, and 90 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:23,839 Speaker 1: you have this job, and you make this much money, 91 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 1: and you go on these trips and you're you wear 92 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,160 Speaker 1: the size pants and you look like this, and your 93 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 1: family does this, and I mean there's different things based 94 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 1: on like where you live and in the culture you're 95 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 1: immersed in that we feel like we're supposed to do 96 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,040 Speaker 1: and if you do those things, you're winning. And if 97 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,160 Speaker 1: you do them faster than you're winning even more. So 98 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,760 Speaker 1: we can deconstruct that as well, but we're not gonna 99 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 1: get into that. But automatically, comparison is creating a competition, right. 100 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 1: So Instagram often makes it feel like there's competition the 101 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,800 Speaker 1: way it's set up, the likes of views and all 102 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:55,159 Speaker 1: of them. And I believe that we can choose to 103 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,599 Speaker 1: not participate in this. We can choose to not participate 104 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:01,920 Speaker 1: in the competitive aspect of Instagram. It takes work. We 105 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,600 Speaker 1: can choose to look at people celebrating their lives as 106 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 1: separate from our lives. And it's difficult because this isn't 107 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,920 Speaker 1: the automatic response, but it is possible, and a way 108 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,920 Speaker 1: to begin to invite this idea and is to invite 109 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 1: the idea of dialectics. In so this is the idea 110 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,279 Speaker 1: that two things can be true at the same time 111 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:21,839 Speaker 1: that kind of like don't make sense, like to opposite 112 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 1: things can be true at the same time. And I 113 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,239 Speaker 1: talked about this a lot, but it never gets old 114 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:29,840 Speaker 1: because it's always important to remember, Like it's always important 115 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 1: to remember. This idea that oh I can be happy 116 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:35,960 Speaker 1: and sad at the same time, Oh I can be 117 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,479 Speaker 1: angry and grateful at the same time, Oh I can 118 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 1: be hurt and joyful at the same time. Doesn't make 119 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 1: a lot of sense, but it takes the idea of 120 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,599 Speaker 1: all or nothing out because life isn't black and white, 121 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,280 Speaker 1: and our feelings aren't black and white. So I can 122 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 1: be really happy for someone, and I can be really 123 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 1: sad for myself at the same time. I also can 124 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,679 Speaker 1: be really happy for myself and really sad for myself 125 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 1: at this same time. I can love a lot of 126 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,479 Speaker 1: things about my life and really be hurt at the 127 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,600 Speaker 1: same time, Like it's not all or nothing. So inviting 128 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:11,720 Speaker 1: that idea in really helps get us away from this 129 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 1: spot where like, oh, I don't have that and they do. Oh, 130 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,800 Speaker 1: I guess that I have to be sad because I 131 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:21,159 Speaker 1: want that, and I can't be happy for them, right 132 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 1: because I'm sad for myself. No, I can be happy 133 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,920 Speaker 1: for them and sad for myself, and at the same 134 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,719 Speaker 1: time I can be grateful for some of the stuff 135 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,800 Speaker 1: in my life too, Like there's a whole like triangle there. 136 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 1: I can celebrate someone's success and be jealous of it 137 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,560 Speaker 1: at the same time. Those things don't cancel each other 138 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:42,159 Speaker 1: out either, And jealousy. Let's talk about this, because jealousy 139 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,279 Speaker 1: doesn't have to be a bad thing. In the email, 140 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:46,920 Speaker 1: this listener writes, I'm having a really hard time lately 141 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 1: watching my friends and family members continue to move through 142 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 1: life's milestones that I desire very deeply that I'm not 143 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:56,320 Speaker 1: close to. I don't want to come off as jealous 144 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,839 Speaker 1: or insensitive and distant, but very often I can't even 145 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 1: myself to congratulate and celebrate my friends. I would say, 146 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 1: what do you want to be jealous? Why don't you 147 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,400 Speaker 1: want to come off with jealous what's wrong with jealousy? 148 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:09,400 Speaker 1: Because jealousy gets a bad reputation, and I think it's 149 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,680 Speaker 1: because we don't like it, so then we don't want 150 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 1: to talk about it or admit that we feel it, 151 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:18,120 Speaker 1: So then it turns into resentment and spite. And quite honestly, 152 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: we're taught that envy and jealousy those are sins. By 153 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:24,559 Speaker 1: having envy, we are being ungrateful. I think is something 154 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 1: also that comes up, and that's not the case. Ungrateful 155 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 1: and jealous and envy don't all have to live in 156 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 1: the same spot. This also speaks into some of what 157 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 1: we've talked about lately about shame, you know how like 158 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,240 Speaker 1: the less we talk about shame, the more you have it, 159 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 1: and the more you talk about it, the less you have. 160 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,080 Speaker 1: I think that this is important to talk about with 161 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 1: with jealousy too. So if we don't want to have 162 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: it because it's a bad thing, we tell people it's 163 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,320 Speaker 1: a bad thing, so we can't talk about it. But 164 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 1: then what it just it doesn't make it go away, 165 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: It just turns it into something else, just like not 166 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 1: talking about shame doesn't make it go away, just lets 167 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 1: it grow, and I think that not talking about jealousy 168 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,680 Speaker 1: ends up creating this like big blanket of shame. So 169 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 1: then I'm jealous and I'm shameful, and then I'm resentful 170 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 1: that I'm flightful not helpful. And I know that I 171 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 1: feel jealous and envy when someone has something that I 172 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,760 Speaker 1: want and that's okay, Like I want you to know 173 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:21,240 Speaker 1: that that's okay, And maybe I'm ungrateful some of those 174 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 1: moments short because I can be an ungrateful person at times, 175 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 1: but there's also a huge possibility that I'm not. It's 176 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 1: actually a super helpful experience to have. If I can 177 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: acknowledge some envy and jealousy, then I can say, hey, 178 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,080 Speaker 1: I want that that's important to me. What can I 179 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,080 Speaker 1: do to help lead me to a place where having 180 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,160 Speaker 1: that thing is possible? And what am I doing that 181 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 1: might deter me from getting those things? And sometimes there 182 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 1: isn't a lot we can do, Like you can't just 183 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:51,079 Speaker 1: like work your way to finding a partner. And I 184 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 1: do think acknowledging is important because there could be things 185 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,040 Speaker 1: that you're not doing or things that you're doing that 186 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,679 Speaker 1: are setting yourself up to be available or unavailable to 187 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 1: those things, and so I do think there's power and 188 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 1: acknowledging it because there's sometimes is something we can do. 189 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,200 Speaker 1: And Glenn and Doyle actually talks about this idea of 190 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 1: envy and jealousy being helpful a lot, which I really appreciate. 191 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,280 Speaker 1: So she talks about this idea of envy and jealousy 192 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,400 Speaker 1: being a good thing and not something that's like only 193 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:22,239 Speaker 1: a part of unhealthy people often, which I really appreciate. 194 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,400 Speaker 1: And she talks about how she used to think that 195 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 1: secure women believed in abundance and so that that's why 196 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 1: they lifted everybody up, and then insecure women were jealous 197 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,719 Speaker 1: and that's why they tore people down. And then she 198 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 1: learned that all the strong women were jealous as well, 199 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 1: and the difference was that the insecure women mass their 200 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 1: insecurity by tearing women down, and then the more wise 201 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:48,120 Speaker 1: strong women mass their insecurity by raising other people up. 202 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,160 Speaker 1: And so it's not that it's bad if you have it, 203 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: everybody has it. We have to look at how we're 204 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 1: using it. Right, So how am I going to use 205 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,079 Speaker 1: these feelings that I have. I can use them for good, 206 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,320 Speaker 1: I can use them for evil. And I think of 207 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,120 Speaker 1: envy and jealousy as less of a sin and more 208 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 1: as a part of our human feeling toolkit. So you asked, 209 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 1: how can I find more joy? Right? So, I think 210 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:13,120 Speaker 1: it starts with being honest. The more I can be 211 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 1: honest about what I'm feeling, the better chance I have 212 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,680 Speaker 1: to be led to what I desire, and the less 213 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 1: I'm going to shut myself down. It's a difference between 214 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,960 Speaker 1: playing defense and offense in your own life and going 215 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 1: back to the idea of the competition. When I play defense, 216 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 1: I'm hiding right, I'm trying to make it look like 217 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,040 Speaker 1: I'm okay. I'm trying to look make it look like 218 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 1: I'm not feeling these things. I'm trying to make it 219 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 1: look like I don't have these parts of my life 220 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 1: when I do, and that takes a lot of energy, 221 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 1: a lot. And when I'm playing offense, I'm showing up 222 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,559 Speaker 1: ready and I'm showing up open. It's hard, but I'm 223 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,840 Speaker 1: showing up ready. I'm showing up open. And what we 224 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 1: have to remember in this idea is that we can 225 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,080 Speaker 1: all play offense at the same time. There doesn't have 226 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,440 Speaker 1: to be a defense and offense in this game because 227 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 1: there's no real competition and it's okay if everybody scores, 228 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 1: and it doesn't matter who scores first, like we'll hang 229 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,559 Speaker 1: out here to everybody scores. There's no time clock, there's nothing, 230 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,080 Speaker 1: there's not none of that. But we create these ideas 231 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:09,960 Speaker 1: in our heads based off of societal norms. But norms 232 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,080 Speaker 1: don't mean that they're the truth. A light in the way. 233 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,679 Speaker 1: Challenge the norms because they're can be power. There can 234 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,360 Speaker 1: be power in not having something, yet it doesn't mean 235 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,720 Speaker 1: you're not going to get it. So I hope this 236 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 1: was helpful, and I really want to thank the person 237 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,120 Speaker 1: that wrote this question and send this email in because 238 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,319 Speaker 1: this is an important thing to continue to talk about 239 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:33,240 Speaker 1: and continue to wander through and continue to work on. 240 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 1: So that's kind of where we're going to end it today. 241 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 1: And I'm totally open to more questions about this because 242 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,440 Speaker 1: it's something I really like talking about um and something 243 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 1: that I've had to work on in my own life. 244 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:45,000 Speaker 1: So I'm not just an expert telling you what I 245 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,199 Speaker 1: think based on my research from a lab. I'm a 246 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 1: human telling you how I feel based on being a human. 247 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,640 Speaker 1: So with that, I hope you guys have the day 248 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,439 Speaker 1: you need to have, and I will talk to you 249 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 1: guys on Monday.