1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: Hi, this is Joel and Victoria. Thanks for listening to 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: our podcast and thanks for supporting the ministry. If you 3 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:09,040 Speaker 1: enjoy today's message, why don't you be a blessing and 4 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,760 Speaker 1: share it with a friend. We appreciate you and pray 5 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:14,880 Speaker 1: for God's very best in your life. Well, God bless you. 6 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,160 Speaker 1: It's a joy to come into your homes each week. 7 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:19,760 Speaker 1: We love you and we know God has great things 8 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,720 Speaker 1: in store for each one of you. We pray for 9 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,920 Speaker 1: you every single day. I tell these people all the time, 10 00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:25,639 Speaker 1: this is going. 11 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,000 Speaker 2: To be your best year so far. 12 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 1: If you're ever in our area, stop buying and see 13 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,800 Speaker 1: as we give you a personal invitation. But thanks for 14 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: tuning in. I like to get started each week with 15 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,919 Speaker 1: something kind of funny, and I heard about these two 16 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 1: famous baseball pictures. They were discussing whether or not there 17 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 1: would be baseball up in heaven. They made an agreement 18 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:46,320 Speaker 1: that whoever died first would come back and tell the 19 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,520 Speaker 1: other if indeed there was baseball in heaven. A few 20 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 1: months later, one of the pictures died, and just like 21 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 1: he promised, he came back said to his friend, I've 22 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: got good news and I've got bad news. The good 23 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 1: news is there is baseball up in heaven. The bad 24 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:05,959 Speaker 1: news is you're scheduled to pitch next Thursday. All right, 25 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,760 Speaker 1: hold up your Bible. Say it like you mean it. 26 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:12,160 Speaker 1: This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. 27 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 1: I have what it says I have. I can do 28 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 1: what it says I can do. Today I will be 29 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 1: taught the word of God. I boldly confess. My mind 30 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: is alert, my heart is receptive. I will never be 31 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:31,319 Speaker 1: the same. I am about to receive the incorruptible, indestructible, 32 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:35,440 Speaker 1: ever living seed of the Word of God. I'll never 33 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:39,559 Speaker 1: be the same, never, never, never, I'll never be the same. 34 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 1: In Jesus' name, God bless you. I want to talk 35 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 1: to you today about how to improve your relationships. Our 36 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: relationships have a lot to do with our happiness. You 37 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,360 Speaker 1: can have all the money in the world, you can 38 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: have your health, you can have great opportunities in front 39 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: of you, but if you don't have good relationship, you're 40 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 1: not going to enjoy your life very much. Now. I 41 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 1: know people that are successful in business. They've done great 42 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:11,280 Speaker 1: in their careers, but their personal life is miserable. They 43 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:14,640 Speaker 1: can't get along with other people. One of the keys 44 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 1: to having good relationships is to show respect, be considerate, 45 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 1: treat other people the way you want to be treated. Now, 46 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 1: I've found most of the time it's not the big 47 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,200 Speaker 1: things that keep people back in relationships. 48 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 2: It's just the small things. 49 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 1: And if we will be willing to make minor adjustments, 50 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: very often we'll see major improvements. And some of you, 51 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 1: if you just start giving more compliments, that relationship would 52 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,080 Speaker 1: go to a new level. Others, if you would lower 53 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 1: your voice tones and say things in a kinder way, 54 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:53,240 Speaker 1: you would see your relationships improve. Some of you, if 55 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: you could just become better listeners and give that person 56 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 1: your full undivided attention, you'd be a maze how much 57 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:04,320 Speaker 1: better that relationship could be. And you need to study 58 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:07,679 Speaker 1: the people God's brought into your life. Study your spouse, 59 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 1: study your friends, study your boss. See what they like 60 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:15,960 Speaker 1: and don't like. Watch what frustrates them, Watch what makes 61 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 1: them happy. What do they need? 62 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:18,920 Speaker 2: What do they respond to? 63 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,799 Speaker 1: Some people, when they're stressed out, they need encouragement. Other 64 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 1: people need space. They need you to back off and 65 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 1: give them a little room. Some people need compliments, they 66 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:35,880 Speaker 1: need constant affirmation. Other people just need a little time. 67 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 1: If you'll take five minutes and say how you doing? 68 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 1: Is everything okay? But God made us all different. There's 69 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,920 Speaker 1: not one size that fits all. And if you're gonna 70 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 1: have good relationships, you have to study the people that 71 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 1: you're in relationship with and find out what they need. 72 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: I learned this firsthand from Victoria. I've never seen anyone 73 00:03:56,120 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 1: more perceptive. She constantly studies me, go down to the 74 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 1: smallest detail, what I like and. 75 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 2: Don't like, and when to ask something, when to give. 76 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 1: Me some space. It takes an unselfish person to do this, 77 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:14,280 Speaker 1: but she realizes in the long run, she's not only 78 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 1: making my life easier, she's making her life easier. Because 79 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 1: the better she treats me, that happier I am, the 80 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 1: more I want to do for her. I start studying 81 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:26,479 Speaker 1: for my weekend messages on Wednesdays, and most of the 82 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 1: time from Wednesday to Saturday. Victoria won't bring up a 83 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 1: heavy subject. If there's a problem we need to discuss, 84 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: unless it's an emergency, unless it needs immediate attention, she 85 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:41,480 Speaker 1: won't bring it up till Monday. She waits till I'm fresh, 86 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,200 Speaker 1: till my mind is clear. You know what that is. 87 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 2: That's respect that's. 88 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 1: Being considerate, and a lot of attension in our homes, 89 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: A lot of the pressure in our relationships we bring 90 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,839 Speaker 1: on ourselves. It could be avoided if we be a 91 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:59,840 Speaker 1: little more sensitive. There's a scripture here in First Peter three, 92 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:05,240 Speaker 1: verse seven, it says to live considerately. That means you 93 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,800 Speaker 1: have to consider the other person. You need to study 94 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:12,479 Speaker 1: them and make the necessary adjustments so you can have 95 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 1: healthy relationships. For instance, if your spouse comes home from 96 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,039 Speaker 1: the long day of work, he's sat in traffic for 97 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 1: an hour and dealt with all kinds of problems, But 98 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 1: when he walks in the door, that's not the time 99 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:28,720 Speaker 1: to tell him the dishwasher broke and the dog is loose, 100 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 1: and your mother in law's coming for two months. Now, 101 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:36,359 Speaker 1: be sensitive and wait for the right time. If you 102 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,360 Speaker 1: see how your boss tends to be more stressed out 103 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,080 Speaker 1: on Monday mornings, it's not the time. 104 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:42,880 Speaker 2: To ask for a favor. 105 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,000 Speaker 1: If you'll wait till the afternoons or until another day, 106 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,760 Speaker 1: you'll not only have more success, but there'll be less 107 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: tension in that relationship. Timing is everything. You can say 108 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 1: the right thing, but if you say it at the 109 00:05:56,720 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 1: wrong time, it's still wrong. Once a month, around that 110 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: certain time, you have to give your wife a little 111 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:09,599 Speaker 1: more room. I heard somebody say PMS means pretty, means sister. 112 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,640 Speaker 1: That's not the time to discuss important issues. That's not 113 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,400 Speaker 1: the time to try to solve problems. That's the time 114 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:22,680 Speaker 1: to smile and say yes, honey, whatever you say. Just 115 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,160 Speaker 1: simple things can make a big difference. And something I've 116 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:28,920 Speaker 1: learned is when I'm not feeling up to par, when 117 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 1: I'm kind of stressed or something's bothering me, I tell 118 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 1: the people that I'm in close relationship with the other day, 119 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 1: I told Victoria, my shoulder is really bothering me, not complaining, 120 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,600 Speaker 1: not as an excuse to be sour, but it helps 121 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 1: people to understand. Many times a simple explanation can keep. 122 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,119 Speaker 2: A lot of tension out of our relationships. 123 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:55,200 Speaker 1: A few years back, I would write my sermons on Thursdays, 124 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: and I work out of my home, and I'd come 125 00:06:57,279 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: downstairs to have lunch, and every once in a while 126 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 1: Victoria would see me in there and join me, and 127 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 1: of course I loved having her in there. But when 128 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 1: I'm writing my messages, I don't like to think about 129 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: anything else. I like to stay in that frame of mind, 130 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: and I never said anything to her, but with my 131 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:18,000 Speaker 1: actions I was kind of unfriendly, not talkative, and she 132 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 1: never said anything about it. But one day I realized 133 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: that wasn't fair to her, and I finally said, Victoria, 134 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,080 Speaker 1: I'd love to talk to you, but I'm right in 135 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 1: the middle of this message. I don't want to get 136 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:33,080 Speaker 1: my mind on anything else. Just a simple ten second explanation. 137 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 1: She totally understood. But I thought about how all those 138 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 1: years I kept that to myself and just sat there, unfriendly, 139 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 1: not talkative. All that does is bring tension into a relationship. 140 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: One person's thinking, what's his problem? Was he so unfriendly? 141 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 1: The other one's thinking, well, I alwish they'd give me 142 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,640 Speaker 1: some room. I got so much on my mind. Much 143 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 1: of this could be avoided if we just. 144 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 2: Learned to be open and honest with each other. 145 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 1: And it's interesting. I never ask Victoria to not do 146 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:04,920 Speaker 1: that anymore. But from that day forward, on Thursdays when 147 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: I'm writing my messages, she doesn't come in there to 148 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: eat lunch. 149 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 2: Why. 150 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 1: She's respectful, she's considerate. She's constantly studying me to see what. 151 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,120 Speaker 2: Can make my life easier. 152 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 1: And that's the attitude we need to have. What can 153 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:22,600 Speaker 1: I do today to get along better with the people 154 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 1: in my life? How can my boss change not How 155 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 1: can my spouse treat me better? 156 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 3: No? 157 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 2: Turn it around? 158 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 1: What can you do? 159 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 2: Study that person? 160 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,439 Speaker 1: If you will help them come up higher, that's a 161 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,920 Speaker 1: seed God will use to bring you up higher. I'm 162 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 1: asking us today to pay close attention to the people 163 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 1: you're in relationship with. Find out what they need. The 164 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 1: mistake I see us make very often is we try 165 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 1: to give people what we need instead of what they need. 166 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:56,720 Speaker 1: For instance, you may not need a lot of encouragement, 167 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:00,920 Speaker 1: but perhaps you're in relationship with somebody that does. You 168 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,840 Speaker 1: can't have the attitude. Well I don't need it, so 169 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,840 Speaker 1: they shouldn't need it either. No, God made us different. 170 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 1: Remember one time I was talking to this couple that 171 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 1: was struggling in their marriage, and the man said, gel 172 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,680 Speaker 1: I just don't understand it. I buy my wife anything 173 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 1: she wants. He told how they had put her in 174 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,600 Speaker 1: a pool a couple of years ago, and he'd bought 175 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:24,319 Speaker 1: her a new car. But this wife, although she appreciated that, 176 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:27,840 Speaker 1: that's not what she needed. She needed his affection, She 177 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,679 Speaker 1: needed his friendship, She needed his time. The problem was 178 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,960 Speaker 1: the man was giving her what he needed, what made 179 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,720 Speaker 1: him feel good. You've got to learn to give people 180 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:41,079 Speaker 1: what they need, not what you need. Well you say, 181 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 1: how do I know? Listen to what people are saying. 182 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 1: Read between the lines. If you hear your wife say, man, 183 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,160 Speaker 1: you've been working a lot. Wish we could go out 184 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 1: to dinner. That's her way of saying I need some attention, 185 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:57,640 Speaker 1: I need some time. I'm feeling lonely. Don't say, oh, yeah, 186 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,960 Speaker 1: i've been busy. Maybe it'll stop one day. He more sensitive. 187 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 1: Be sensitive, you know, plan a special outing, hire a babysit, 188 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 1: or take her out to dinner, just a simple thing. 189 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,360 Speaker 1: Or maybe you hear your husband one day say, man, 190 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 1: no matter what I do for you, I can't seem 191 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:17,120 Speaker 1: to please you. That man is crying out for your approval. 192 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,560 Speaker 1: He's crying out for your affirmation. The way you meet 193 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,640 Speaker 1: that need is not saying okay, let's go to dinner. No, 194 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 1: he needs to hear you saying I'm proud of you. 195 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 1: I think you're a great husband. I appreciate what you 196 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 1: do for this family. If you'll learn to give people 197 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,080 Speaker 1: what they need and not what you need, it'll help 198 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:38,920 Speaker 1: your relationships improve. I know when I've been working real 199 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 1: hard and I come home kind of stressed and uptight. 200 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,400 Speaker 1: I don't need Victoria to say, well, come on in, Joel, 201 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 1: sit down, we'll talk about it. No, that may meet 202 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:50,680 Speaker 1: her need, but I'm wired differently than she is. I 203 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,640 Speaker 1: know when I'm stressed, I need to go outside and exercise. 204 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 1: I need to go outside and play ball with my children. 205 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: That's going to meet my need. In the same way, 206 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:02,840 Speaker 1: when Victoria is a little uptight and tense, I don't 207 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 1: tell her, why don't you go outside and play with 208 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:11,719 Speaker 1: the children. I value my life more than that. Why 209 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,200 Speaker 1: don't you go exercise? Works for me every time. I've 210 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,080 Speaker 1: learned after more than twenty years of marriage, what she 211 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 1: likes and what she doesn't like. And I know when 212 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,199 Speaker 1: she's kind of uptight, the best thing I can do 213 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 1: is just sit down and talk to her about it. 214 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,200 Speaker 1: I just need to hear her out. She needs to 215 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,520 Speaker 1: know that I understand now I've learned. 216 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 2: I don't have to solve the problem. 217 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 1: It's not what she's looking for. She just wants to 218 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 1: get it out in the open. When she does that, 219 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: she feels much better. There are other times I know 220 00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:41,160 Speaker 1: she just needs to spend some time by herself. I'll 221 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 1: tell her, go get your nails done, go see some friends, 222 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 1: or go up to the mall. Man an hour at 223 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:51,439 Speaker 1: the mall. She comes back a totally different person. She's refreshed, rejuvenating. 224 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: What am I saying? If I'm gonna have happy relationships, 225 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 1: I got to study the people God's brought into my. 226 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 2: Life and give them what they need, not what I need. 227 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 1: Another way to improve a relationship is be a good listener. 228 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:09,880 Speaker 1: When people talk to you, give them your undivided attention, 229 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:12,400 Speaker 1: look them in the eyes, and have an interest in 230 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:15,800 Speaker 1: what they're saying. These days, we're so busy and so 231 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:19,840 Speaker 1: many distractions, so much multitasking going on. If we're not careful, 232 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 1: we'll find we're really. 233 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,560 Speaker 2: Only halfway listening. 234 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 1: When somebody's trying to talk to you and you got 235 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 1: the computer on or the TV, or you're preoccupied with 236 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:31,960 Speaker 1: something else that's sending the wrong message. Learn to stop 237 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 1: what you're doing, pause a few minutes, and give them 238 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 1: your undivided attention. So I mentioned earlier, I work out 239 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,720 Speaker 1: of my home, and probably two or three times a 240 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,840 Speaker 1: day my children come in to say hello or to 241 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:47,080 Speaker 1: tell me something, And I used to be so caught 242 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:49,960 Speaker 1: up in my work and so determined to stay on schedule. 243 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,400 Speaker 1: I would do just what I'm asking you not to do. 244 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 1: I would acknowledge them, but I just keep on working away. 245 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 1: Every once in a while I say, uh huh, yes, 246 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:01,720 Speaker 1: just halfway listening. One day I realized. 247 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,079 Speaker 2: That's sending them the wrong message. 248 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 1: With my words, I'm saying I hear you, I'm listening, 249 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,840 Speaker 1: but with my actions I'm communicating I'm busy. 250 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 2: You're bothering me. 251 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,080 Speaker 1: Now I've learned to just take a two minute break, 252 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 1: look them in the eyes, and give them every ounce 253 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:21,079 Speaker 1: of energy that I can. I want to communicate to them, 254 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,320 Speaker 1: not just through my words, but through my actions. You're 255 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 1: important to me. I've always got time for you. You're 256 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 1: extremely valuable. Now, our children are a lot more perceptive 257 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,760 Speaker 1: than we may think. They know when we're halfway listening. 258 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 1: They know when we're hurrying them along. Don't send that 259 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 1: kind of message to the people around you. There's a 260 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:44,440 Speaker 1: difference between hearing and listening. We can hear a lot 261 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:48,559 Speaker 1: of things, but when we're really listening, we're fully engaged 262 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:52,720 Speaker 1: warning to hear. I believe part of being respectful. Part 263 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,040 Speaker 1: of being considerate is to learn to be a good listener. 264 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 1: This means when people are talking to you, don't enter 265 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:04,040 Speaker 1: up them. Let them finish their thoughts. You may already 266 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,360 Speaker 1: know what they're going to say. You may have already 267 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 1: heard the story, but you know what, that's okay, Be 268 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:14,520 Speaker 1: considerate and let them finish. Anyway, maybe somebody ask you 269 00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:17,480 Speaker 1: a question and you know the answer the first five seconds. 270 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 1: There's that tendency to jump in there and cut them 271 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 1: off here, let me tell you what to do. No, 272 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:25,760 Speaker 1: just be respectful and let them finish. It's not only 273 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,600 Speaker 1: part of being considerate, but it makes them feel good. 274 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 1: I've had people explain things to me, maybe ask me 275 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,800 Speaker 1: to pray about a situation, and they go on and on, 276 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 1: and I know exactly what they're talking about. I've realized 277 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:41,320 Speaker 1: it's important that I hear what they want me to hear. 278 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,200 Speaker 1: When you take time to listen, it just shows that 279 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 1: you care. It shows that you're concerned. Do you know 280 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 1: how many people have told me a joke that I've 281 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:53,240 Speaker 1: heard four hundred and seventy times. I could easily say, well, 282 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,520 Speaker 1: I've heard that one before. You know, I give them 283 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 1: the joy of telling it again, and I laugh like 284 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:02,000 Speaker 1: it was the first time I ever heard it. 285 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,880 Speaker 2: Just like you do with mine. 286 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 1: I'm so in a seed. Some people have gotten into 287 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 1: a bad habit of finishing people's sentences for them. If 288 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,760 Speaker 1: they pause for a half second waiting for a word, 289 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,880 Speaker 1: they jump right in there and take over. How many 290 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,520 Speaker 1: times have I been guilty of finishing a story that 291 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 1: Victoria starts she's telling someone else, but because I think 292 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,000 Speaker 1: I can do it better, or because she will leave 293 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 1: that one little detail, I jump in and take over. 294 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 1: But now I've learned, even though I can. 295 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:35,640 Speaker 2: Do it better, I need to let her do it, be. 296 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:39,640 Speaker 1: Patient, and show respect by allowing people to finish their thoughts. 297 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 1: I'm trying to improve your relationships. I think I keep 298 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 1: making mine worse. My personality type is if I miss 299 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,320 Speaker 1: an hour meeting, I like somebody to give me a 300 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 1: thirty second overview. I don't like to know all the details. 301 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,840 Speaker 1: I don't want to know all the hows and whys. 302 00:15:56,120 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 1: I just want the bottom line. Well, Victoria is exactly opposit, 303 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 1: So when she tells me something, she gives me all 304 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:07,400 Speaker 1: the details, all the hidden meanings, what the people were wearing, 305 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,680 Speaker 1: what they had for lunch, what kind of mood they 306 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: were in, what their cousin's uncle said. We're just different. 307 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,400 Speaker 1: And it's easy for me to want to be selfish 308 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 1: and to think I don't want to hear that she 309 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:22,840 Speaker 1: needs to change. But I've realized that's important to her, 310 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:26,120 Speaker 1: and so when she's explaining something to me, I make 311 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 1: myself relax and be at ease knowing that me taking 312 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:35,080 Speaker 1: time to hear the details is adding value to our relationships. Now, 313 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 1: I may only want a thirty second overview, and for 314 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,760 Speaker 1: some people in my life that may be okay. But 315 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,640 Speaker 1: if I'm going to give Victoria what she needs, I've 316 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:46,800 Speaker 1: got to adapt and be willing to change. And when 317 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,400 Speaker 1: people are talking to you, don't make them feel in 318 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 1: a rushed, hurried like they're bothering you. You know, fidgeting, 319 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:58,440 Speaker 1: tapping your fingers back in a way that's communicating disapproval. 320 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,640 Speaker 1: By your body language, you're saying I don't have time 321 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:05,119 Speaker 1: for you, you're bothering me. A while back, Victoria was 322 00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:08,920 Speaker 1: telling me this story, and she started talking faster and faster, 323 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,159 Speaker 1: and finally she said, you don't want to hear this. 324 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,440 Speaker 1: I can tell you're just hurrying me along. I hadn't 325 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:16,680 Speaker 1: said one word. It was my body language. I had 326 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,600 Speaker 1: to do what I'm asking you to do. Turn off 327 00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:21,920 Speaker 1: the TV, look people in the eyes, and give them 328 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,240 Speaker 1: your undivided attention. 329 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,120 Speaker 2: It's a part of respect. 330 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:29,160 Speaker 1: Another important key when you come home from work, you've 331 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:32,000 Speaker 1: been away for a while and you see your loved ones, 332 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,199 Speaker 1: what you do right at the very first is the 333 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 1: most important. Don't just run through the house and go 334 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,680 Speaker 1: to the back and think, Oh, I'm tired, I don't 335 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,040 Speaker 1: want to talk, I've had a long day. No, the 336 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:46,720 Speaker 1: first two minutes that you see them has more impact 337 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,120 Speaker 1: than spending hours with them later on. If you can 338 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:53,400 Speaker 1: get in a habit of when you haven't seen the people. 339 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:56,240 Speaker 2: You care about for three or four hours, I've. 340 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 1: Just taken the first couple of minutes and giving them 341 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:03,879 Speaker 1: your undevotion, See how they're doing, let them know that 342 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,320 Speaker 1: you're interested in them. What you're saying by your actions 343 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:11,280 Speaker 1: is I missed you. You're important to me, You're valuable 344 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,359 Speaker 1: in my life. How many times do we come home 345 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,359 Speaker 1: and we're not even aware of the people around us, 346 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,400 Speaker 1: just in passing, Hey, I'm back. I got to get 347 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,919 Speaker 1: off my feet, you know, take a couple of minutes. 348 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 1: Go kiss your spouse, Go hug your children, make them 349 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 1: a priority. 350 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:27,919 Speaker 2: Right when you first get home. 351 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:31,439 Speaker 1: This means when you pull up into the driveway, you 352 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,520 Speaker 1: need to finish that last cell phone call. Don't go 353 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,280 Speaker 1: in the house talking on the phone, still doing business. 354 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,359 Speaker 1: How many times have I sat in my garage to 355 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 1: finish a call because I know the importance of going 356 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,560 Speaker 1: in and write at the start, giving my family my 357 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,359 Speaker 1: undivided attention. Well, you say, Joel, I'll do it an 358 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,399 Speaker 1: hour later. I'll do it after I take care of 359 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 1: some other stuff. No, the studies say the first two 360 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:57,959 Speaker 1: minutes has the most impact. And before you come home 361 00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:01,960 Speaker 1: you need to mentally switch gears. Recognize you're moving into 362 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 1: a different environment, clear your mind, take some deep breaths, 363 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:09,280 Speaker 1: and let the tension out. You have to close one door, 364 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,639 Speaker 1: so to speak, the stress, the pressure, the frustration, and 365 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:16,480 Speaker 1: open another door. Too often we make a mistake of 366 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:20,000 Speaker 1: bringing the pressures of the day in with us. When 367 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,080 Speaker 1: we're stressed and we're up tight, we may not say anything, 368 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:26,080 Speaker 1: but before long the whole house is filled with tension. 369 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,119 Speaker 1: You may have had a hard day, people may not 370 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,159 Speaker 1: have treated you right, but you have to get in 371 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,720 Speaker 1: a habit of leaving that outside. I heard about this 372 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,399 Speaker 1: man that had a tree rapped by his back door. 373 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,320 Speaker 1: There was a large plant in this pot, and every 374 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,920 Speaker 1: day when he came home from work, he reached over 375 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 1: and rubbed the tree. And a friend saw him and say, 376 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,119 Speaker 1: what in the world are you doing? He said, this 377 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 1: is my trouble tree before I go inside. I put 378 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,920 Speaker 1: all my problems, all my worries, all my stress, all 379 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 1: my frustration on this tree. And really, we all need 380 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:02,840 Speaker 1: a trouble tree, even if it's an imaginary, leave that outside. 381 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,000 Speaker 1: Have Another friend takes him an hour to get home 382 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,679 Speaker 1: every day, and traffic's real bad, and he's got a 383 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,960 Speaker 1: stressful job on top of that, and he used to 384 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 1: come home so uptight and sow pressure. But he told 385 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,720 Speaker 1: how he started pulling into a park right before he 386 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,560 Speaker 1: got home and he would take five minutes to just 387 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 1: get in peace, to relax and quiet his mind. What 388 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:27,800 Speaker 1: was he doing shifting gears? He knew the importance of 389 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:31,359 Speaker 1: not bringing that inside. We need to keep a peaceful 390 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:35,760 Speaker 1: atmosphere in our homes. When we're upset, stressed, worried, it 391 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 1: affects everyone around us. Some of you if you just 392 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:42,439 Speaker 1: make a minor adjustment like this, you would see major 393 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:46,600 Speaker 1: improvements in your relationships. Instead of going home all stressed 394 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,600 Speaker 1: and thinking I don't want to talk, no, leave that outside. 395 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,840 Speaker 1: Take the first two minutes to invest in the people 396 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:56,240 Speaker 1: you love. The fact that you made them a priority, 397 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,680 Speaker 1: the fact that you came home in a pleasant mood. 398 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,879 Speaker 1: It's not only setting the tone for the rest of 399 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:05,520 Speaker 1: your time together, but you're speaking volumes into their lives. 400 00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:07,160 Speaker 2: And this not only. 401 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,919 Speaker 1: Works at home, can work anywhere. 402 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,640 Speaker 2: We have people that you care about at the office. 403 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,000 Speaker 1: If you have a good friend and you've been away 404 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,520 Speaker 1: for four or five hours, when you come back, just 405 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:18,760 Speaker 1: thirty seconds stick your head in your office. Hey, how's 406 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:22,560 Speaker 1: everything going. You just made a huge deposit into their life. 407 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:26,719 Speaker 1: By your actions, you're saying I really respect you. We're 408 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,959 Speaker 1: going to improve our relationships. We have to watch the 409 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:34,200 Speaker 1: way we say things, our voice, tones, our body language. 410 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:39,280 Speaker 1: I read where sixty percent of communication is nonverbal. That 411 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 1: means our facial expressions, the tone we use, our body language. 412 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:48,400 Speaker 1: That's actually communicating more than even our words. You need 413 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,400 Speaker 1: to learn to keep a pleasant demeanor, learn to smile, 414 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,520 Speaker 1: and be careful the way you say things. How many 415 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:58,159 Speaker 1: times have we come home we're kind of tired and 416 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,639 Speaker 1: we just blurt out something very mad. Matter of fact, 417 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,440 Speaker 1: we don't mean to be rude, but our whole body, language, 418 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:05,360 Speaker 1: our whole demeanor. 419 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:06,840 Speaker 2: The tone we used. 420 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,080 Speaker 1: Is basically saying, hey, don't bother me. I've had a 421 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,359 Speaker 1: hard day. Let me do my own thing. There's much 422 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:17,000 Speaker 1: more to communication than our words. We may be saying 423 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:20,320 Speaker 1: the right thing, but how we say it is equally important. 424 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:24,399 Speaker 1: Be sensitive and learn to have a pleasant tone of voice, 425 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,600 Speaker 1: especially when you're tired, especially when you're stressed. Before you answer, 426 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,400 Speaker 1: you need to take a deep breath and make sure 427 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:35,440 Speaker 1: you say it in a kind, respectful way. Well, you say, Joel, 428 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,359 Speaker 1: my personality is just a little bit stronger than yours. 429 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,560 Speaker 1: I just believe in telling it like it is. I'm 430 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:44,719 Speaker 1: just very straightforward. No, don't use your personality as an 431 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 1: excuse to be rude. You can be truthful, but you 432 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:52,639 Speaker 1: can also be tactful. The scripture says to speak the 433 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:56,080 Speaker 1: truth in love. You can say a hard thing, but 434 00:22:56,119 --> 00:22:58,639 Speaker 1: if you'll say it in love with a smile on 435 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 1: your face, people will swallow it a whole lot easier. 436 00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:06,200 Speaker 1: I heard some different definitions of being tactful. Being tactful 437 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:10,800 Speaker 1: is the ability to make your point without making an enemy. 438 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,760 Speaker 1: Being tactful is when you tell someone to go jump 439 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,840 Speaker 1: in the lake and they look forward to the journey. 440 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:22,760 Speaker 1: Being tactful is changing the subject without changing your mind. 441 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:27,000 Speaker 1: And being tactful is telling someone that he's open minded 442 00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:29,440 Speaker 1: when really he just has a hole in his head. 443 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,680 Speaker 1: There's a difference between being frank and being rude. Don't 444 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,679 Speaker 1: be matter of fact, don't be blunt. You have to 445 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:41,040 Speaker 1: seizon your words with salt. And before you ever correct anyone, 446 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,399 Speaker 1: you need to ask yourself, do I really need to 447 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,479 Speaker 1: say this? Is it going to benefit them? Is it 448 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:50,159 Speaker 1: going to further them down the road, or is it 449 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,520 Speaker 1: just going to make me feel good? I found a 450 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,480 Speaker 1: lot of times we say things just to prove our point. 451 00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,440 Speaker 1: You may know someone's wrong, you may know you're right, 452 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,119 Speaker 1: but understand that doesn't mean you need. 453 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:02,680 Speaker 2: To correct them. 454 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:07,040 Speaker 1: You have to ask yourself is it really necessary. My 455 00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:09,800 Speaker 1: friend Johnny here, I've known him my whole life and 456 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,439 Speaker 1: he works with us and after the services we go 457 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,040 Speaker 1: up and greet the visitors. I can't tell you how 458 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 1: many times people have told him what a great worship 459 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:22,600 Speaker 1: leader he is. They don't realize it's not Johnny, it's Steve. 460 00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 1: They think he's the one up here leading to singing. 461 00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 1: They kind of look alike. But believe me, Johnny can't sing. 462 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:32,160 Speaker 1: I've heard him. But they'll go on and on telling 463 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,639 Speaker 1: Johnny boy, the music was so good and we really 464 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,520 Speaker 1: enjoyed you up there. We've learned time and time again 465 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,840 Speaker 1: just to smile, say God bless you, and move on. 466 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,640 Speaker 1: It's not worth correcting them. 467 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:43,680 Speaker 2: It's not a big deal. 468 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:47,240 Speaker 1: After all, it's not harming them, and if anything, it's 469 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:51,840 Speaker 1: helping Johnny believe that he can sing. But so often 470 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:53,960 Speaker 1: we think we got to correct everybody, We got to 471 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 1: straighten them out. They're wrong, let me fix them. But 472 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,000 Speaker 1: there are a lot of things in life that don't 473 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,800 Speaker 1: really matter. To keep good relationships, you got to be 474 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:06,440 Speaker 1: willing to let some things go. Don't ever correct anyone 475 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,679 Speaker 1: unless he's gonna benefit them and not just make. 476 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:10,320 Speaker 2: You feel good. 477 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,240 Speaker 1: A couple of years ago, our son Jonathan made a 478 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 1: very poor grade on one of his tests, and it's 479 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 1: because he hadn't read his book. And I'd been telling 480 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,120 Speaker 1: him again and again how important it was to keep 481 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,480 Speaker 1: up with his reading. And so when I saw him, 482 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,919 Speaker 1: I had my two minute speech prepared and I was 483 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,720 Speaker 1: gonna tell him how I told you to do this, 484 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,600 Speaker 1: and I told you you want go make good grace Jonathan, 485 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,199 Speaker 1: though when I saw me, he had both hands up, 486 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:33,600 Speaker 1: had a big smile. 487 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:33,919 Speaker 2: On his face. 488 00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 1: It's hard to be mean to people that are smiling 489 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:39,000 Speaker 1: at you, he said, Daddy, you don't need to say anything. 490 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,600 Speaker 1: I already know. I promise I'm gonna do better next time. 491 00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,000 Speaker 1: But my pride wanted to give my speech anyway. It 492 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:48,080 Speaker 1: was gonna be good. I'd had it all prepared, but 493 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:50,240 Speaker 1: I had to just swallow that pride and say, okay, 494 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,880 Speaker 1: if you promised to do better, there are a lot 495 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:54,680 Speaker 1: of things that we don't need to make a big 496 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:55,280 Speaker 1: deal about. 497 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:56,280 Speaker 2: Just let it go. 498 00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:00,080 Speaker 1: Now. I'm asking you today to look for a way 499 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,480 Speaker 1: that you can improve your relationships. Maybe you can lower 500 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:06,199 Speaker 1: your voice tones a little, Maybe you can become a 501 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:09,639 Speaker 1: better listener, maybe you can say things more tactfully, or 502 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,200 Speaker 1: like I did with Jonathan, just let some things go. 503 00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,919 Speaker 2: Do your part to come up higher in this area. 504 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,399 Speaker 1: Why don't you study the people God to put in 505 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,760 Speaker 1: your life, learn to give them what they need not 506 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:25,520 Speaker 1: what you need. Remember before you get home, switch gears. 507 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 1: Don't bring the stress and the trouble of the day 508 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:31,080 Speaker 1: with you. Leave that on your trouble tree, and then 509 00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:33,479 Speaker 1: take a couple of minutes right at the first and 510 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,639 Speaker 1: sew into the people that you really love. I believe 511 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,760 Speaker 1: if you'll make some of these simple changes, you'll see 512 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:43,200 Speaker 1: major improvements. Your relationships will get better and better. You'll 513 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,359 Speaker 1: have more peace, more joy, more harmony in your homes, 514 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,880 Speaker 1: and you'll live the life of victory that God has 515 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:52,199 Speaker 1: in store. Amen, do you receive it today? I know 516 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,359 Speaker 1: you do that. Or we never like to close our 517 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,639 Speaker 1: broadcast without giving you an opportunity to make Jesus the 518 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 1: lord of your life. Would you pray with me? Just say, Lord, Jesus, 519 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:07,720 Speaker 1: I repent of my sins. Come into my heart. I'll 520 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:11,399 Speaker 1: nake you, my Lord and savior. Friends, if you prayed 521 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,200 Speaker 1: that simple prayer, we believe you got born again. Get 522 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:17,119 Speaker 1: in a good Bible based church. Keep God first place. 523 00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,639 Speaker 1: He's going to take your places you've never dreamed of. 524 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,120 Speaker 3: It's easy to let the day get away from us 525 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:26,199 Speaker 3: before the day even starts. The first few minutes of 526 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,440 Speaker 3: your morning are more powerful than you might think. Life 527 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,439 Speaker 3: moves really fast sometimes, and it can be easy to 528 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,359 Speaker 3: begin each day by zeroing in on your problems. 529 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:36,760 Speaker 2: But here's the truth. 530 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,000 Speaker 1: How you start the day can determine what kind of 531 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,120 Speaker 1: day it's going to be. And I'd love to send 532 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,280 Speaker 1: you my devotional three Minute Mornings Start your Day the 533 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:48,200 Speaker 1: Blessed Way. Three minutes doesn't seem like a lot of time, 534 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:50,919 Speaker 1: but when you put God first place and get your 535 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 1: mind going in the right direction, is setting the tone 536 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:55,680 Speaker 1: for a blessed, productive day. 537 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:56,560 Speaker 2: It's filled with. 538 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:59,399 Speaker 1: Inspiration and encouragement to help you begin each day with 539 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:03,199 Speaker 1: a fresh attitude, grateful that you're alive. It's amazing what 540 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,520 Speaker 1: happens when you take three minutes and speak blessings over 541 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:08,639 Speaker 1: your life and declaring God's favor. 542 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,080 Speaker 2: Three Minute Mornings is our gift to you. 543 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,000 Speaker 3: As our way of saying thank you for your gift 544 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,520 Speaker 3: of any amount. This month, we would like to send 545 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:20,080 Speaker 3: you a copy of Joel's new devotional three Minute Mornings 546 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:24,040 Speaker 3: Start your Day in faith. This powerful book will open 547 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:28,000 Speaker 3: the pathways to experience God's presence and peace in your life, 548 00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:32,520 Speaker 3: and there you will find renewed energy, assurance, and wisdom 549 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,960 Speaker 3: to face your day. The Bible promises that God is 550 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,320 Speaker 3: a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. So as 551 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,640 Speaker 3: you cause for only three minutes and take in his 552 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:46,440 Speaker 3: wonderful promises in this book, you will be positioning yourself 553 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:49,560 Speaker 3: to receive all the amazing things that God has in 554 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:53,120 Speaker 3: store for you. Please request your copy today and watch 555 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 3: anxiety turn to divine answers, weakness to strength, problems to 556 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:04,680 Speaker 3: renewed possibilities, frustrations to God's favor. Yes, only three minutes 557 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:06,760 Speaker 3: will transform your entire day. 558 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,640 Speaker 1: From the time I was a little boy, my parents 559 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:12,560 Speaker 1: taught me the value of starting the day off in faith. 560 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:16,160 Speaker 1: Three minute mornings will help you do just that. Victoria 561 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,160 Speaker 1: and I pray for you every day for God's very best. 562 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:20,760 Speaker 2: We want to thank you for. 563 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:22,040 Speaker 1: Your prayer and support. 564 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 2: You're impacting people all over the world. 565 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,600 Speaker 1: A special thank you to our Champion of Hope partners 566 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,480 Speaker 1: for your monthly support. If you're not a partner, I 567 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,800 Speaker 1: hope you'll consider becoming one. Remember you can watch the 568 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:38,760 Speaker 1: services online every Sunday morning, download our daily podcast, listen 569 00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:42,400 Speaker 1: on Serious Exam, watch our YouTube channel and the Joel 570 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:46,080 Speaker 1: Ostein Network streaming on television twenty four hours a day 571 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:47,680 Speaker 1: and until we see you again. 572 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 2: Made the Lord bless you and keep you. 573 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,720 Speaker 3: Be sure to request your copy of three minute Mornings 574 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:57,640 Speaker 3: Start your day in faith. Visit Joelostein dot com or 575 00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 3: call eight eight eight five six seven Joel for an 576 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:05,080 Speaker 3: additional donation. This month, we are also offering the Faith 577 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:09,000 Speaker 3: and Freedom Bundle. You'll receive an additional devotional filled with 578 00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:12,760 Speaker 3: daily wisdom to guide you in living with favor, focus 579 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:16,920 Speaker 3: and freedom. Also available, our Morning Power and Peace Collection 580 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:22,280 Speaker 3: includes Power, Provision and Peace, beautifully bound and timeless elegance. 581 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:26,920 Speaker 3: This dynamic New Testament, the Passion Translation helps you walk 582 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:31,240 Speaker 3: in God's best. You can request these inspiring resources by 583 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:34,920 Speaker 3: calling eight eight eight five six seven Joel or logging 584 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:39,440 Speaker 3: on to Jolostein dot com today, call or click anytime, 585 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:44,120 Speaker 3: twenty four hours a day, be inspired every morning. Request 586 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:45,240 Speaker 3: your copies today