1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:22,715 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio, issuing 2 00:00:22,835 --> 00:00:27,435 Speaker 1: correction on previous media coverage regarding Rupert Murdoch and the 3 00:00:27,515 --> 00:00:32,315 Speaker 1: terrorist group Fox News. You do not under any circumstances 4 00:00:32,515 --> 00:00:37,955 Speaker 1: quote gotta hand it to them. I will get to 5 00:00:38,315 --> 00:00:44,315 Speaker 1: Rupert a racist, a liar, a propagandist, a destroyer of worlds, 6 00:00:44,675 --> 00:00:50,475 Speaker 1: and he's being sanitized. But first, and more importantly, while 7 00:00:50,515 --> 00:00:53,515 Speaker 1: you were listening to the noise and I was listening 8 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:57,315 Speaker 1: to the noise, Trump has gotten up in Iowa and 9 00:00:57,355 --> 00:01:00,075 Speaker 1: announced that if he again sees his power, he will 10 00:01:00,115 --> 00:01:05,435 Speaker 1: invoke the Alien Enemies Act and declared that this country 11 00:01:05,475 --> 00:01:11,235 Speaker 1: has been invaded and quote immediately unquote detain and deport 12 00:01:11,995 --> 00:01:15,755 Speaker 1: non citizens who are older than the age of fourteen, 13 00:01:16,755 --> 00:01:25,915 Speaker 1: not undocumented immigrants, non citizens, people who are here legally, 14 00:01:26,875 --> 00:01:32,155 Speaker 1: people who are working towards citizenship, dacas and dreamers and 15 00:01:32,235 --> 00:01:39,115 Speaker 1: refugees and immigrants, legal authorized immigrants. Trump has already promised 16 00:01:39,115 --> 00:01:44,315 Speaker 1: to somehow overrule coincidentally enough, the Fourteenth Amendment Clause one, 17 00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:47,915 Speaker 1: ensuring citizenship to anybody born here. He has already promised 18 00:01:47,955 --> 00:01:52,115 Speaker 1: camps in which to hide the homeless. Now declare an 19 00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:57,275 Speaker 1: invasion January twenty twenty five. Then deport and detain and 20 00:01:57,475 --> 00:02:03,435 Speaker 1: at his sole discretion. This is a new and somehow 21 00:02:03,475 --> 00:02:07,275 Speaker 1: more evil version of Trump's oldest appeal to the blind 22 00:02:07,355 --> 00:02:10,875 Speaker 1: hatred of his cult, who must find some other to 23 00:02:10,995 --> 00:02:15,075 Speaker 1: blame for the failures of their own lives. And this 24 00:02:15,195 --> 00:02:17,795 Speaker 1: new part suggests to me that this time he means it, 25 00:02:18,195 --> 00:02:21,515 Speaker 1: not because of the deport part, but because of the 26 00:02:21,595 --> 00:02:27,315 Speaker 1: detain part. Trump, especially a Trump back in power, especially 27 00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:30,275 Speaker 1: a Trump seeking an excuse not to seed power at 28 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:33,795 Speaker 1: the end of his term or to just hand pick 29 00:02:33,835 --> 00:02:39,195 Speaker 1: a successor, would need a graphic, grotesque, ongoing, in your 30 00:02:39,275 --> 00:02:44,715 Speaker 1: face show to keep his cult both happy and fearful 31 00:02:45,275 --> 00:02:48,875 Speaker 1: and also keep up the false narrative of crisis or invasion. 32 00:02:49,195 --> 00:02:55,875 Speaker 1: And nothing could compare to camps of seized people, nearly 33 00:02:55,915 --> 00:03:05,115 Speaker 1: all of them Hispanic here in America, roundups followed by deportetions. 34 00:03:05,635 --> 00:03:10,675 Speaker 1: They are dramatic, but they are narrow focused roundups and 35 00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:14,915 Speaker 1: detention centers. Well, that is the raw meat Trump dreams of. 36 00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:19,635 Speaker 1: And the Alien Enemies Act, the last extant section of 37 00:03:19,635 --> 00:03:22,715 Speaker 1: the infamous Alien and Sedition Acts of seventeen ninety eight, 38 00:03:23,435 --> 00:03:27,675 Speaker 1: was used to round up and expel foreign nationals and 39 00:03:27,835 --> 00:03:30,755 Speaker 1: immigrants from the countries that declared war on US in 40 00:03:30,795 --> 00:03:34,955 Speaker 1: World War II. And it was an inspiration, if not 41 00:03:34,995 --> 00:03:40,275 Speaker 1: a legal rationalization for the internment of Japanese Americans, one 42 00:03:40,315 --> 00:03:46,115 Speaker 1: of our collective darkest moments. So you see what the 43 00:03:46,275 --> 00:03:50,035 Speaker 1: escalation is for Trump and his like what he actually 44 00:03:50,195 --> 00:03:55,355 Speaker 1: is saying in Iowa, attack undocumented immigrants first, then move 45 00:03:55,395 --> 00:03:58,355 Speaker 1: on to people here legally on the pretext that he 46 00:03:58,475 --> 00:04:02,835 Speaker 1: and it would be him. The Alien Enemies Act gives 47 00:04:02,835 --> 00:04:07,235 Speaker 1: the President the authority to detain anyone, but on the 48 00:04:07,235 --> 00:04:10,955 Speaker 1: pretext that he is quote removing all known or suspected 49 00:04:10,995 --> 00:04:15,115 Speaker 1: gang members, drug dealers, cartel members from the United States. 50 00:04:16,555 --> 00:04:19,475 Speaker 1: This Act has been sitting there, coiled up under the 51 00:04:19,555 --> 00:04:22,275 Speaker 1: desk for two hundred and twenty five years, waiting for 52 00:04:22,315 --> 00:04:27,995 Speaker 1: someone to deploy it to purge and to terrorize. The President, 53 00:04:28,395 --> 00:04:31,755 Speaker 1: whoever it would be, immediately gains for himself the power 54 00:04:31,835 --> 00:04:35,915 Speaker 1: to purge and to terrorize when he quote makes public 55 00:04:36,075 --> 00:04:43,475 Speaker 1: proclamation that a quote invasion or predatory incursion is perpetrated, attempted, 56 00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:47,635 Speaker 1: or threatened against the territory of the United States by 57 00:04:47,675 --> 00:04:52,035 Speaker 1: any foreign nation. And that is why you have heard 58 00:04:52,075 --> 00:04:54,235 Speaker 1: the Boberts and the Greens and the Stephen Millers talk 59 00:04:54,355 --> 00:04:59,795 Speaker 1: endlessly of invasion and why you've seen Trump's rivals climb 60 00:04:59,955 --> 00:05:03,275 Speaker 1: all over each other just to threaten war by any 61 00:05:03,275 --> 00:05:10,395 Speaker 1: other name against Mexico. That's all he needs. No congressional action, 62 00:05:11,035 --> 00:05:15,555 Speaker 1: no Republican majority in either House, no corrupt ruling purchased 63 00:05:15,595 --> 00:05:20,115 Speaker 1: from the Supreme Court. Trump has now promised that he will, 64 00:05:20,235 --> 00:05:23,835 Speaker 1: in January twenty twenty five, invoke the Alien Enemies Act 65 00:05:23,875 --> 00:05:27,715 Speaker 1: and grant himself the right to designate anybody suspected of 66 00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:32,235 Speaker 1: being a threat. Again, he says, gang's drugs, cartels. That's 67 00:05:32,235 --> 00:05:35,555 Speaker 1: not what the Act says. It is a kidnapped first 68 00:05:35,555 --> 00:05:37,715 Speaker 1: and let God sort them out kind of an act. 69 00:05:38,195 --> 00:05:42,475 Speaker 1: He grants himself the right to say who will be 70 00:05:42,595 --> 00:05:50,715 Speaker 1: quote apprehended, restrained, secured, and removed as alien enemies suspected 71 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:59,875 Speaker 1: suspected by him anybody who is not a full fledged 72 00:06:00,035 --> 00:06:11,195 Speaker 1: citizen of the United States, anybody, buddy. There is one caveat. 73 00:06:11,555 --> 00:06:13,835 Speaker 1: As with so many things, this is hardly the first 74 00:06:13,835 --> 00:06:19,755 Speaker 1: time Trump has promised some authoritarian, fascist, racist, brutal assault 75 00:06:20,435 --> 00:06:24,475 Speaker 1: on American society. His first boast that he would enact 76 00:06:24,555 --> 00:06:30,475 Speaker 1: mass deportations came in August twenty fifteen. The anniversary was 77 00:06:31,235 --> 00:06:35,955 Speaker 1: last month, and you didn't send a card. By November 78 00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:38,635 Speaker 1: twenty fifteen, Trump had announced he would turn them all 79 00:06:38,675 --> 00:06:42,395 Speaker 1: over to a quote deportation force. He announced that in 80 00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:45,835 Speaker 1: a very odd venue and to loud support from his 81 00:06:45,955 --> 00:06:50,195 Speaker 1: greatest sick ephants and mainstreamers, the clowns on the set 82 00:06:50,395 --> 00:06:58,635 Speaker 1: of Mourning Joe, the original Trump liquors, Joe Scarborough and 83 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:05,235 Speaker 1: Mica Scarborough. Trump has never, in reality effect did any 84 00:07:05,315 --> 00:07:08,795 Speaker 1: mass deportations. As recently as June of twenty nineteen, he 85 00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:12,195 Speaker 1: said he was delaying what had morphed into the quote 86 00:07:12,555 --> 00:07:17,075 Speaker 1: Trump removal process for another two weeks in hopes that 87 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:20,315 Speaker 1: in that time congressional Republicans and Democrats could get together 88 00:07:20,355 --> 00:07:23,835 Speaker 1: and work out a solution to the southern border. And then, 89 00:07:23,875 --> 00:07:27,155 Speaker 1: after four years of this drum beat of threat, he 90 00:07:27,195 --> 00:07:29,915 Speaker 1: moved on, and then came COVID, and then he lost, 91 00:07:30,595 --> 00:07:35,715 Speaker 1: and now it's all back with this new twist and 92 00:07:35,795 --> 00:07:41,995 Speaker 1: another twist. Besides expanding the pool of victims to everyone 93 00:07:42,075 --> 00:07:48,195 Speaker 1: who is not a full fledged citizen, this invoking of 94 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:51,235 Speaker 1: the Alien Enemies Act brings with it many twists. The 95 00:07:51,355 --> 00:07:55,555 Speaker 1: estimated population of undocumented immigrants eleven million, four hundred thousand, 96 00:07:56,115 --> 00:08:00,395 Speaker 1: the number of non citizens living here twice that, and 97 00:08:00,515 --> 00:08:04,475 Speaker 1: the roundup of the ones Trump suspects the ones. Trump, 98 00:08:04,995 --> 00:08:10,035 Speaker 1: the paranoid monster personally suspects that would only be part 99 00:08:10,075 --> 00:08:12,315 Speaker 1: of the big show he has planned. He would move 100 00:08:12,795 --> 00:08:18,475 Speaker 1: thousands of American troops from overseas to the US Mexico border. 101 00:08:19,515 --> 00:08:21,675 Speaker 1: He would bring back his travel band, but this time 102 00:08:21,755 --> 00:08:25,155 Speaker 1: there would be no mention of terrorists or Arab countries 103 00:08:25,275 --> 00:08:27,715 Speaker 1: or rogue states. This time it would be a travel 104 00:08:27,755 --> 00:08:32,755 Speaker 1: band to quote deny entry to all communists and Marxists 105 00:08:33,075 --> 00:08:37,555 Speaker 1: to the United States. Well, you know who he's called 106 00:08:37,635 --> 00:08:45,995 Speaker 1: communists and Marxists, members of the Democratic Party, and with 107 00:08:46,115 --> 00:08:50,355 Speaker 1: that he has the right to detain anyone he suspects. 108 00:08:53,515 --> 00:08:56,835 Speaker 1: It is comforting, especially after this, to look at all 109 00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:59,875 Speaker 1: the things Trump didn't do, all the evil things that 110 00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:02,235 Speaker 1: are of much more use to him and the scum 111 00:09:02,355 --> 00:09:05,435 Speaker 1: behind him as threats or promises or things he'll do 112 00:09:05,515 --> 00:09:08,835 Speaker 1: if only he'll send another twenty five dollars, or vote 113 00:09:08,835 --> 00:09:11,395 Speaker 1: for his guy in the midterms or the local races, 114 00:09:11,835 --> 00:09:14,475 Speaker 1: or vote for him in twenty twenty four twenty twenty 115 00:09:14,475 --> 00:09:18,435 Speaker 1: eight or I mean, look at the wall. If Trump's 116 00:09:18,515 --> 00:09:22,795 Speaker 1: cult had to participate in an up or down vote 117 00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:26,875 Speaker 1: on him based on the reality of his wall compared 118 00:09:26,915 --> 00:09:29,555 Speaker 1: to his promise about his wall, he would lose the 119 00:09:29,595 --> 00:09:34,595 Speaker 1: Republican nomination by about ninety to ten. But the threat 120 00:09:34,915 --> 00:09:41,475 Speaker 1: of the wall, the promise of the wall magic. Yet 121 00:09:41,515 --> 00:09:46,715 Speaker 1: history is littered with the bones, literally littered with the 122 00:09:46,715 --> 00:09:51,555 Speaker 1: bones of those who thought that because a madman did 123 00:09:51,595 --> 00:09:53,795 Speaker 1: not do the most mad thing he said he would 124 00:09:53,835 --> 00:09:58,555 Speaker 1: do that time, that he would never ever do it. 125 00:09:58,555 --> 00:10:00,995 Speaker 1: It is its own form of madness to think Trump's 126 00:10:00,995 --> 00:10:04,315 Speaker 1: first actual policy statement in nearly three years that isn't 127 00:10:04,315 --> 00:10:08,555 Speaker 1: about the god damned twenty twenty election is just for show. 128 00:10:09,555 --> 00:10:12,315 Speaker 1: It is its own form of madness to forget Trump's 129 00:10:12,355 --> 00:10:19,515 Speaker 1: promise of retribution in a second term and his own burning, seething, insane, sadistic, 130 00:10:20,155 --> 00:10:28,635 Speaker 1: animating sense of vengeance. The deportation of eleven million Americans, 131 00:10:28,675 --> 00:10:31,755 Speaker 1: the detention of up to twenty two million Americans, the 132 00:10:31,795 --> 00:10:36,915 Speaker 1: starting line of this whole, wretched, hateful, bigoted nightmare, that 133 00:10:37,035 --> 00:10:41,995 Speaker 1: which empowered the alt right and inflamed xenophobia and imperiled 134 00:10:42,035 --> 00:10:44,955 Speaker 1: something fundamental to this nation since the end of slavery, 135 00:10:44,995 --> 00:10:46,675 Speaker 1: the idea that if you were born here, you were 136 00:10:46,675 --> 00:10:53,275 Speaker 1: an American, mass deportation, mass detention, and how exactly would 137 00:10:53,355 --> 00:10:58,915 Speaker 1: that work. How exactly would you take eleven million Americans 138 00:10:58,995 --> 00:11:06,115 Speaker 1: and make them, you know, leave America, or take twenty 139 00:11:06,155 --> 00:11:12,755 Speaker 1: two million and detain them in America, especially if and 140 00:11:12,835 --> 00:11:17,035 Speaker 1: I'm going way out on a limb here, especially if 141 00:11:17,075 --> 00:11:23,915 Speaker 1: they know didn't want to leave or be detained. Eleven 142 00:11:24,275 --> 00:11:28,035 Speaker 1: million people, that is the population of the entire state 143 00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:31,715 Speaker 1: of Ohio, three and a half percent of the population 144 00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:36,875 Speaker 1: of all of US. Trump has never said how he 145 00:11:36,915 --> 00:11:39,915 Speaker 1: would do any of this, no policy, no guidance about 146 00:11:39,915 --> 00:11:43,115 Speaker 1: this to be gleaned from any Trump website at any time, 147 00:11:43,475 --> 00:11:47,635 Speaker 1: anything from the campaign, anything from his years in office, 148 00:11:47,835 --> 00:11:51,875 Speaker 1: other than one of his surrogates stating in twenty sixteen 149 00:11:51,915 --> 00:11:56,315 Speaker 1: that about two million people would be targeted for immediate deportation, 150 00:11:56,915 --> 00:12:00,115 Speaker 1: and Trump's claims that he would deport any undocumented American 151 00:12:00,275 --> 00:12:03,755 Speaker 1: accused of a crime at that time, not convicted, just accused. 152 00:12:04,435 --> 00:12:08,235 Speaker 1: Warning echoes of this new detention of suspected gang members. 153 00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:11,515 Speaker 1: And the original plan was to quote triple the number 154 00:12:11,515 --> 00:12:16,355 Speaker 1: of immigrations and customs enforcement agents. But Trump was insisting 155 00:12:16,435 --> 00:12:18,755 Speaker 1: all that time that quote, We're going to do that 156 00:12:18,835 --> 00:12:22,555 Speaker 1: in a very humane fashion. Believe me, I have a 157 00:12:22,595 --> 00:12:26,235 Speaker 1: bigger heart than you do. By the way. The Trump 158 00:12:26,315 --> 00:12:30,635 Speaker 1: surrogate who promised the two million deportations as soon as 159 00:12:30,635 --> 00:12:33,235 Speaker 1: he was in office in early twenty seventeen. The Trump 160 00:12:33,235 --> 00:12:40,235 Speaker 1: surrogate who said that, Chris Christie, there is something instructive, 161 00:12:40,475 --> 00:12:43,715 Speaker 1: someone instructive to mention here. When I think of Trump 162 00:12:43,715 --> 00:12:47,275 Speaker 1: and immigration and his humanity and his promises to his cult, 163 00:12:47,315 --> 00:12:51,555 Speaker 1: I always think of a man named Roberto Beristain, who 164 00:12:51,635 --> 00:12:54,675 Speaker 1: was described by its mayor as one of the model 165 00:12:54,755 --> 00:13:00,795 Speaker 1: citizens of South Bend, Indiana. Restaurant owner there Steakhouse, an 166 00:13:00,795 --> 00:13:05,795 Speaker 1: immigrant early forties, an accidental criminal because at Niagara Falls 167 00:13:05,835 --> 00:13:13,355 Speaker 1: once he unknowingly stepped into Canadian territory. His wife voted 168 00:13:13,395 --> 00:13:19,635 Speaker 1: for Trump in twenty sixteen. Trump deported him in twenty seventeen. 169 00:13:20,995 --> 00:13:23,475 Speaker 1: She may have been the original I didn't think the 170 00:13:23,555 --> 00:13:27,115 Speaker 1: leopards would eat my face American, and she actually said 171 00:13:27,195 --> 00:13:31,115 Speaker 1: quote he did say, the good people would not be deported, 172 00:13:31,155 --> 00:13:36,115 Speaker 1: the good people would be checked. She left with her 173 00:13:36,195 --> 00:13:39,235 Speaker 1: husband to Mexico and near as I can tell they 174 00:13:39,275 --> 00:13:44,355 Speaker 1: are still there. They've pretty much forgotten Roberto in Indiana. 175 00:13:44,635 --> 00:13:51,075 Speaker 1: A friend bought the restaurant. It closed two januaries ago. Anyway, 176 00:13:51,595 --> 00:13:55,315 Speaker 1: a generous estimate is there are one hundred thousand agents 177 00:13:55,955 --> 00:14:00,275 Speaker 1: doing this stuff now. So from Trump's original promise in 178 00:14:00,275 --> 00:14:03,555 Speaker 1: twenty fifteen, we triple that to three hundred thousand, three 179 00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:07,475 Speaker 1: hundred thousand, two human mainly round up eleven million undocumented 180 00:14:07,515 --> 00:14:12,035 Speaker 1: Americans or twenty two million non citizens. That would be 181 00:14:12,715 --> 00:14:20,155 Speaker 1: thirty seven undocumented Americans or seventy four non citizen Americans 182 00:14:20,795 --> 00:14:24,075 Speaker 1: per agent. If you triple the number of agents, if 183 00:14:24,075 --> 00:14:27,635 Speaker 1: somehow the whole process from finding these people to apprehending them, 184 00:14:27,675 --> 00:14:30,075 Speaker 1: to giving them whatever is left of due process in 185 00:14:30,155 --> 00:14:34,555 Speaker 1: this world, to maybe an appeal to the transportation to 186 00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:38,475 Speaker 1: the expulsion, say that's only going to take six months 187 00:14:38,515 --> 00:14:44,195 Speaker 1: per undocumented person. In that event, Trump's deportation force could 188 00:14:44,315 --> 00:14:49,795 Speaker 1: humanely get the job done in only nineteen years. Now. 189 00:14:49,875 --> 00:14:53,835 Speaker 1: The new suspected alien enemies, they would presumably be rounded 190 00:14:53,915 --> 00:14:56,675 Speaker 1: up faster because they don't have rights under the Alien 191 00:14:56,755 --> 00:15:01,675 Speaker 1: Enemies Act. Only Trump would have rights. Presuming that is 192 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:08,795 Speaker 1: all the undocumented Americans or the non citizens, Americans cooperate, 193 00:15:09,715 --> 00:15:13,795 Speaker 1: and all of their friends cooperate, and relatives cooperate, and 194 00:15:13,875 --> 00:15:16,715 Speaker 1: employers cooperate, and ordinary Americans who think it is the 195 00:15:16,755 --> 00:15:19,955 Speaker 1: work of the devil to round up and expel people 196 00:15:20,075 --> 00:15:23,275 Speaker 1: or incarcerate them, who risk their lives to get here 197 00:15:23,595 --> 00:15:25,755 Speaker 1: and are willing to live their lives in the shadows 198 00:15:25,795 --> 00:15:29,795 Speaker 1: to stay here, presuming they all also cooperate when the 199 00:15:29,835 --> 00:15:32,355 Speaker 1: trucks come out for their friends and neighbors, and that 200 00:15:32,395 --> 00:15:35,635 Speaker 1: one guy at the store who's eligible for his citizenship 201 00:15:35,675 --> 00:15:40,595 Speaker 1: in twenty twenty five. Now, no matter what numbers and 202 00:15:40,715 --> 00:15:43,475 Speaker 1: dates are actually realistic, there is another scenario in which 203 00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:47,035 Speaker 1: Trump's ethnic cleansing I'm sorry, I meant to say Trump's 204 00:15:47,075 --> 00:15:51,835 Speaker 1: humane deportation, in which the humane deportation could be concluded 205 00:15:51,875 --> 00:15:56,035 Speaker 1: by roughly twenty thirty five or so, there is still 206 00:15:56,075 --> 00:16:00,595 Speaker 1: one giant humane problem looming in the background. These eleven 207 00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:05,195 Speaker 1: or twenty two million people. They're not simply going to 208 00:16:05,275 --> 00:16:07,595 Speaker 1: line up on a given day and march out of 209 00:16:07,635 --> 00:16:15,395 Speaker 1: the country. And the point of the twenty two million 210 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:19,875 Speaker 1: non citizens is to round them up and keep them somewhere. 211 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,395 Speaker 1: However many of them there are, you are going to 212 00:16:24,435 --> 00:16:29,155 Speaker 1: have to take these people and remove them from our society, 213 00:16:30,235 --> 00:16:33,315 Speaker 1: from the schools, from the workplaces, from the trains, from 214 00:16:33,395 --> 00:16:38,395 Speaker 1: the businesses, from the building you live in, go to 215 00:16:38,435 --> 00:16:43,235 Speaker 1: their homes, and, for want of a better word, capture them. 216 00:16:43,955 --> 00:16:46,995 Speaker 1: Capture as many people as now live in the state 217 00:16:47,035 --> 00:16:50,635 Speaker 1: of Ohio, or if it's the full twenty two million, 218 00:16:50,675 --> 00:16:52,475 Speaker 1: as many people now live in the state of Florida, 219 00:16:53,395 --> 00:16:58,395 Speaker 1: and take them somewhere else until the process of expulsion 220 00:16:58,395 --> 00:17:01,515 Speaker 1: from the country is complete. If you really intend to 221 00:17:01,675 --> 00:17:06,795 Speaker 1: expel them, Is Donald Trump thinking of humanly keeping them 222 00:17:06,835 --> 00:17:11,635 Speaker 1: in his humane hotels? No? No, there'd have to be 223 00:17:13,155 --> 00:17:20,515 Speaker 1: humane deportation and detention centers of some kind, wouldn't there. 224 00:17:22,595 --> 00:17:25,915 Speaker 1: These would, I guess, have to be for a lot 225 00:17:25,915 --> 00:17:28,355 Speaker 1: of a better word, camps of some kind, and the 226 00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:32,675 Speaker 1: living arrangements would necessarily be cramped and crowded and congested 227 00:17:32,715 --> 00:17:39,875 Speaker 1: and confined. And what is the word I'm looking for, concentrated. 228 00:17:40,475 --> 00:17:45,075 Speaker 1: That's it. The camps would have to be concentrated where 229 00:17:45,115 --> 00:17:50,355 Speaker 1: people would be humanly held in, you know, concentrated places 230 00:17:51,235 --> 00:17:54,555 Speaker 1: where the deportee residents and alien enemies were in a 231 00:17:55,035 --> 00:18:00,035 Speaker 1: humane state of being concentrated, where these humane camps had 232 00:18:00,075 --> 00:18:07,755 Speaker 1: the quality of concentration camps with and unless you want 233 00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:14,835 Speaker 1: these camps with concentration to just hemorrhage every dollar, there 234 00:18:14,875 --> 00:18:16,275 Speaker 1: are going to have to be a lot of these 235 00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:20,195 Speaker 1: camps with concentration all around the country to make the 236 00:18:20,235 --> 00:18:27,915 Speaker 1: transportation easier. Places to round up and humanely Keep the 237 00:18:27,955 --> 00:18:33,115 Speaker 1: four hundred thousand undocumented immigrants that are in Dallas, or 238 00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:35,155 Speaker 1: the four hundred thousand more from Houston, or the eight 239 00:18:35,275 --> 00:18:38,155 Speaker 1: hundred thousand non citizens from New York City that's sixty 240 00:18:38,195 --> 00:18:43,835 Speaker 1: percent more New Yorkers than live on Staten Island, you know, 241 00:18:44,715 --> 00:18:49,035 Speaker 1: keep them somewhere in camps with concentration. Some of the 242 00:18:49,035 --> 00:18:50,635 Speaker 1: camps would have to be big enough to fit all 243 00:18:50,635 --> 00:18:53,635 Speaker 1: the residents of Atlanta in them, or Kansas City or 244 00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:57,875 Speaker 1: Cleveland or New Orleans. Now, you might not need to 245 00:18:57,995 --> 00:19:02,395 Speaker 1: house all eleven or twenty two million, because I guess 246 00:19:02,395 --> 00:19:04,675 Speaker 1: inevitably some of the people would kill themselves rather than 247 00:19:04,875 --> 00:19:08,235 Speaker 1: go back, or would resist the roundup and would be 248 00:19:08,395 --> 00:19:13,675 Speaker 1: killed humanly. I'm sure. Still, you'd better make the camps 249 00:19:13,675 --> 00:19:21,595 Speaker 1: with concentration just a little better, because well, sorry, I 250 00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:23,635 Speaker 1: think it would be necessary just to make the process 251 00:19:23,675 --> 00:19:26,955 Speaker 1: go more smoothly and more humanely, to make it illegal 252 00:19:27,995 --> 00:19:31,475 Speaker 1: to you know, help or hide anybody accused of being 253 00:19:31,555 --> 00:19:34,675 Speaker 1: an undocumented American or a non citizen. Maybe Trump would 254 00:19:34,675 --> 00:19:38,115 Speaker 1: make it illegal to not proactively turn in any undocumented 255 00:19:38,155 --> 00:19:40,875 Speaker 1: Americans or non citizens, and anybody guilty of one of 256 00:19:40,915 --> 00:19:44,275 Speaker 1: those crimes would also go into the same camps too, 257 00:19:45,955 --> 00:19:53,115 Speaker 1: the camps, you know, the camps with concentration. But don't worry, 258 00:19:53,315 --> 00:19:58,115 Speaker 1: Trump intends to do it humanly. These would be humane 259 00:19:58,315 --> 00:20:06,755 Speaker 1: camps with concentration in your neighborhood, behind the barbed wire, 260 00:20:08,995 --> 00:20:15,675 Speaker 1: and what could possibly go wrong in signed them? It'll 261 00:20:15,675 --> 00:20:26,355 Speaker 1: be done humanly. The other headlines as the Republicans in 262 00:20:26,395 --> 00:20:28,675 Speaker 1: the House moved towards shutting down the government and ousting 263 00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:34,075 Speaker 1: Kevin McCarthy and making I don't know Paul Gozar speaker, 264 00:20:35,475 --> 00:20:38,635 Speaker 1: as McCarthy played along with Trump's insistence that somebody publicly 265 00:20:38,675 --> 00:20:41,435 Speaker 1: investigate Joe Biden. You know what President Zelensky would not do, 266 00:20:41,515 --> 00:20:46,155 Speaker 1: but Kevin McCarthy is doing. And McCarthy made Congress meet 267 00:20:46,195 --> 00:20:49,315 Speaker 1: with Selensky at the National Archives yesterday because anywhere bigger, 268 00:20:49,475 --> 00:20:51,955 Speaker 1: and the twenty eight Russian Republicans who vowed to not 269 00:20:52,035 --> 00:20:55,795 Speaker 1: give Ukraine another dollar yesterday led by that slobbish idiot 270 00:20:55,915 --> 00:21:01,755 Speaker 1: jd Vance would get mad and McCarthy maybe will defund 271 00:21:01,795 --> 00:21:04,675 Speaker 1: the government and claim that means the Special Counsel's Office 272 00:21:04,835 --> 00:21:08,595 Speaker 1: is defunded forever. In a day, as all that unfolded, 273 00:21:08,715 --> 00:21:13,115 Speaker 1: McCarthy actually said this, I mean talk about missus Roberto 274 00:21:13,235 --> 00:21:18,955 Speaker 1: Beristain Kevin McCarthy, who was also in club, I didn't 275 00:21:18,955 --> 00:21:22,075 Speaker 1: think the leopards would eat my face. I don't understand 276 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:25,435 Speaker 1: why anybody votes against bringing the idea and having the debate, 277 00:21:25,875 --> 00:21:27,595 Speaker 1: and then you got all the amiens. If you don't 278 00:21:27,675 --> 00:21:29,755 Speaker 1: like to do this is a whole new concept of 279 00:21:29,835 --> 00:21:31,955 Speaker 1: individuals that just want to burn the birth place down. 280 00:21:32,435 --> 00:21:35,555 Speaker 1: It doesn't work. I mean when we said burn it 281 00:21:35,595 --> 00:21:39,315 Speaker 1: all down, I thought everybody knew you. You wouldn't burn 282 00:21:39,515 --> 00:21:49,715 Speaker 1: my house down. Moron looks like the bird that just 283 00:21:49,915 --> 00:21:55,315 Speaker 1: flew into your window. In Atlanta, Ken Cheesebrough's lawyers submitted 284 00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:58,115 Speaker 1: a roster of witnesses in his defense in the trial 285 00:21:58,155 --> 00:22:01,395 Speaker 1: of the Trump nineteen Boris Epstein and Ron McDonald made 286 00:22:01,435 --> 00:22:06,555 Speaker 1: the cut, congratulations, you two wacky kids. In the same case, 287 00:22:06,635 --> 00:22:09,515 Speaker 1: the fake elector David Schaeffer presented one of those defenses 288 00:22:09,515 --> 00:22:13,515 Speaker 1: where you say no, no, no defense means say something 289 00:22:13,555 --> 00:22:17,795 Speaker 1: that won't get you convicted, to quote the Atlanta Journal Constitution. 290 00:22:18,315 --> 00:22:22,195 Speaker 1: Because of that, neither the Democratic nor Republican electors were official. 291 00:22:22,435 --> 00:22:25,475 Speaker 1: Schaeffer's attorney, Craig Gillen said at that point it was 292 00:22:25,595 --> 00:22:28,435 Speaker 1: up to Congress to pick the proper electors. If both 293 00:22:28,475 --> 00:22:30,475 Speaker 1: houses of Congress agreed on the winner, that was the 294 00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:33,795 Speaker 1: official slate. He said. If the houses couldn't agree, then 295 00:22:33,835 --> 00:22:41,395 Speaker 1: and only then would Governor Kemp's certified slate become official. Yeah. No, no, no, 296 00:22:41,395 --> 00:22:45,035 Speaker 1: that's exactly the opposite of the law. You're saying that 297 00:22:45,075 --> 00:22:49,715 Speaker 1: your client did exactly what the prosecution is charging him with, 298 00:22:49,795 --> 00:22:53,315 Speaker 1: and he's going to go to jail now. And in 299 00:22:53,355 --> 00:23:00,715 Speaker 1: the same case, Sidney Powell is beside herself because, as 300 00:23:00,755 --> 00:23:06,315 Speaker 1: she told the court, these little charges against her racketeering, trespass, 301 00:23:06,435 --> 00:23:09,395 Speaker 1: invasion of privacy, conspiracy to defraud the State of Georgia, 302 00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:13,555 Speaker 1: conspiracy to commit computer theft, and conspiracy to commit election fraud. 303 00:23:13,715 --> 00:23:17,715 Speaker 1: Why these little petty complaints, She's already being treated like 304 00:23:17,755 --> 00:23:21,155 Speaker 1: a criminal because of them. She had one of those 305 00:23:21,275 --> 00:23:24,235 Speaker 1: easy pass thingies from the TSA, the one that lets 306 00:23:24,235 --> 00:23:26,435 Speaker 1: you go through the private security line at the airports 307 00:23:26,515 --> 00:23:28,955 Speaker 1: where you don't have to mix with the prolls. I 308 00:23:28,995 --> 00:23:32,115 Speaker 1: mean it was clear or pre check or Global Entry 309 00:23:32,155 --> 00:23:36,395 Speaker 1: or one of them, something like that, and TSA. After 310 00:23:36,475 --> 00:23:40,875 Speaker 1: these charges took it away from her, she has to 311 00:23:40,915 --> 00:23:43,555 Speaker 1: go stand in the grown up line as if she 312 00:23:43,635 --> 00:23:49,915 Speaker 1: were a common criminal. Don't worry, Sydney Powell. Nobody thinks 313 00:23:49,915 --> 00:23:57,995 Speaker 1: you're a common criminal. Also of interest here, I have 314 00:23:58,075 --> 00:24:05,115 Speaker 1: two words for Rupert Murdoch, douche and bag x. This 315 00:24:05,315 --> 00:24:20,275 Speaker 1: is countdown. This is countdown with Keith Olberman postscripts to 316 00:24:20,315 --> 00:24:25,115 Speaker 1: the News Dateline News Corp Headquarters, Sixth Avenue, New York, 317 00:24:25,155 --> 00:24:29,795 Speaker 1: New York. Rupert Murdoch will retire to become Chairman Emeritus 318 00:24:29,835 --> 00:24:33,235 Speaker 1: of News Corporation and Chairman Emeritus of Fox and Boy. 319 00:24:33,315 --> 00:24:37,795 Speaker 1: Am I already sick of it, sick of the encomia. 320 00:24:39,555 --> 00:24:42,155 Speaker 1: Eh business giant, maybe the most powerful man in the 321 00:24:42,155 --> 00:24:45,955 Speaker 1: world's success on three continents, reshaped an entire business field, 322 00:24:46,035 --> 00:24:49,675 Speaker 1: no stop. The man did more damage to this country 323 00:24:49,675 --> 00:24:56,315 Speaker 1: than al Qaeda. All of this Trump, Fox News, the 324 00:24:56,395 --> 00:25:02,795 Speaker 1: right wing propaganda factory, the corrupted Supreme Court putin trying 325 00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:05,835 Speaker 1: to take over Elon Musk, understanding that he's just a 326 00:25:05,875 --> 00:25:11,035 Speaker 1: maladjusted clown with money. Kevin McCarthy government shutdowns, the Alien 327 00:25:11,315 --> 00:25:14,875 Speaker 1: Enemies Act, the Republican Party dissolving into a series of 328 00:25:14,915 --> 00:25:19,755 Speaker 1: ever more reprehensible Russian assets, capable of nothing but performance art, 329 00:25:19,875 --> 00:25:24,515 Speaker 1: not even good at goddamned that that's all on him. 330 00:25:26,035 --> 00:25:29,275 Speaker 1: You want the entire list of good things Rupert Murdoch 331 00:25:29,355 --> 00:25:33,875 Speaker 1: did in his life, You ready here it is the 332 00:25:34,035 --> 00:25:40,755 Speaker 1: entire list of good things. Rupert Murdoch did the constant 333 00:25:40,795 --> 00:25:47,475 Speaker 1: scorebug on sports telecasts. That's it, by the way. That 334 00:25:47,555 --> 00:25:50,035 Speaker 1: was the idea of a man named David Hill. Murdoch 335 00:25:50,115 --> 00:26:03,155 Speaker 1: just approved it. Everything else he was a dishonest, petulant, destructive, dishonest, racist, manipulative, fraudulent, dishonest, fascist, vengeful, 336 00:26:03,675 --> 00:26:12,955 Speaker 1: black hearted, dishonest asshole. And those are the compliments. The 337 00:26:13,035 --> 00:26:15,595 Speaker 1: only reason there are people trying to find something else 338 00:26:15,715 --> 00:26:23,315 Speaker 1: good to say about this asshole is that stupid series Succession. No, 339 00:26:23,635 --> 00:26:27,995 Speaker 1: the character of the old executive humanized Ruber Mayo was crap. 340 00:26:28,875 --> 00:26:33,275 Speaker 1: The series was crap. I've worked in television since nineteen 341 00:26:33,315 --> 00:26:35,755 Speaker 1: eighty one. I was in American television before this schmuck 342 00:26:35,835 --> 00:26:38,355 Speaker 1: Murdoch was I will tell you simply that not one 343 00:26:38,395 --> 00:26:41,675 Speaker 1: member of the what was it, the roy family, Not 344 00:26:41,955 --> 00:26:45,275 Speaker 1: one of the characters, nothing in the script, none of 345 00:26:45,315 --> 00:26:49,435 Speaker 1: their performances led me to believe for one second that 346 00:26:49,555 --> 00:26:53,675 Speaker 1: any of the characters could possibly be successful in some 347 00:26:54,395 --> 00:26:58,995 Speaker 1: alternate version of television or media in this country. Know, 348 00:26:59,355 --> 00:27:04,435 Speaker 1: as the artists say, verisimilitude. I never found myself believing 349 00:27:04,835 --> 00:27:11,275 Speaker 1: any of it could possibly be true. Succession well way 350 00:27:11,315 --> 00:27:16,315 Speaker 1: more suck than Session, but it's sanitized Rupert Murdoch, and 351 00:27:16,355 --> 00:27:20,515 Speaker 1: we hear people saying nice things about him worst person 352 00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:25,195 Speaker 1: in the world because if he isn't the most evil 353 00:27:25,275 --> 00:27:27,835 Speaker 1: human of the last half century, it's Trump. And frankly, 354 00:27:27,875 --> 00:27:32,955 Speaker 1: without Murdoch, there's no Trump. So I don't know. I 355 00:27:32,995 --> 00:27:37,435 Speaker 1: will say. When I read his note to the employees 356 00:27:37,475 --> 00:27:41,955 Speaker 1: of Fox, I was briefly encouraged. Oh I am announcing 357 00:27:42,355 --> 00:27:48,595 Speaker 1: I will transition. What transition? Well that's a hell of 358 00:27:48,635 --> 00:27:55,675 Speaker 1: a plot twist, Ah, Chairman Emeritus. Half that I do 359 00:27:55,835 --> 00:27:59,795 Speaker 1: know that a genuinely talented television writer, who would I 360 00:27:59,795 --> 00:28:02,515 Speaker 1: think have said the same thing about Succession excuse me 361 00:28:02,875 --> 00:28:07,355 Speaker 1: suck Session as I did. I'm supposed to believe this 362 00:28:07,435 --> 00:28:10,955 Speaker 1: man is Rupert Murdoch. I worked for Rupert Murdoch. I'm 363 00:28:10,955 --> 00:28:13,635 Speaker 1: supposed to believe this because he has six framed copies 364 00:28:13,675 --> 00:28:16,115 Speaker 1: of a newspaper front page on his wall and a 365 00:28:16,195 --> 00:28:18,515 Speaker 1: TV and he has the same number of kids as 366 00:28:18,555 --> 00:28:23,075 Speaker 1: Rupert Murdoch. How did you all manage the effort involved 367 00:28:23,555 --> 00:28:27,155 Speaker 1: spend two entire days writing four seasons of that trek. 368 00:28:28,395 --> 00:28:32,595 Speaker 1: That writer, he did this as he was dying, as 369 00:28:32,635 --> 00:28:36,315 Speaker 1: he knew he was dying. He did this about Rupert Murdoch. 370 00:28:36,515 --> 00:28:41,595 Speaker 1: Quote my main cancer, the dying writer told the television interviewer, 371 00:28:42,035 --> 00:28:48,635 Speaker 1: I call it Rupert. At the end of March nineteen 372 00:28:48,715 --> 00:28:51,395 Speaker 1: ninety four, this writer, his name was Dennis Potter, gave 373 00:28:51,595 --> 00:28:56,515 Speaker 1: perhaps the most extraordinary interview in history, certainly in the 374 00:28:56,595 --> 00:29:00,915 Speaker 1: history of television. Dennis Potter was once a London newspaper reporter. 375 00:29:01,315 --> 00:29:04,995 Speaker 1: He was the playwright of some television masterpieces, especially The 376 00:29:05,035 --> 00:29:08,995 Speaker 1: Singing Detective and Pennies from Heaven and Weeks earlier, he'd 377 00:29:08,995 --> 00:29:13,075 Speaker 1: been diagnosed with untreatable terminal pancreatic cancer, and it had 378 00:29:13,195 --> 00:29:16,915 Speaker 1: already spread throughout his body. He was interviewed by Melvin 379 00:29:16,955 --> 00:29:20,515 Speaker 1: Bragg of Channel four in the UK, and as he 380 00:29:20,595 --> 00:29:24,355 Speaker 1: was being interviewed, Dennis Potter was dying. He was drinking 381 00:29:24,355 --> 00:29:30,675 Speaker 1: from a flask of liquid morphine. The interview aired on 382 00:29:30,715 --> 00:29:34,155 Speaker 1: April fourth, nineteen ninety four, and Dennis Potter died exactly 383 00:29:34,235 --> 00:29:38,115 Speaker 1: two months and three days later. Entire interview is indescribable 384 00:29:38,155 --> 00:29:41,515 Speaker 1: in its honesty and its clarity, and its sincerity and 385 00:29:42,035 --> 00:29:46,115 Speaker 1: in vernacular that did not really exist in nineteen ninety four. 386 00:29:46,475 --> 00:29:50,035 Speaker 1: It is indescribable for the lack of f's Dennis Potter 387 00:29:50,115 --> 00:29:54,715 Speaker 1: gave quote. One of the favorite fantasy plots of a 388 00:29:54,755 --> 00:29:57,675 Speaker 1: writer is a character is told you've got three months 389 00:29:57,755 --> 00:30:00,435 Speaker 1: to live, which is what I was told. Who would 390 00:30:00,475 --> 00:30:05,355 Speaker 1: you kill? I call my cancer the main on the 391 00:30:05,475 --> 00:30:09,715 Speaker 1: pancreast one. I call it Rupert so I can get 392 00:30:09,795 --> 00:30:12,875 Speaker 1: close to it, because that man Murdoch is the one 393 00:30:12,915 --> 00:30:15,755 Speaker 1: who if I had time. In fact, I've got too 394 00:30:15,795 --> 00:30:17,795 Speaker 1: much writing to do and I haven't got the energy, 395 00:30:17,835 --> 00:30:22,675 Speaker 1: but I would shoot the bugger if I could, unquote 396 00:30:25,315 --> 00:30:28,155 Speaker 1: put that in your and call me for Rupert Murdoch 397 00:30:29,635 --> 00:30:33,875 Speaker 1: television play right, name just cancer after Rupert Murdoch, and 398 00:30:33,875 --> 00:30:38,355 Speaker 1: it's humanized by his succession. Nineteen ninety four this was 399 00:30:38,395 --> 00:30:40,675 Speaker 1: America barely had any idea who Rupert Murdoch was in 400 00:30:40,715 --> 00:30:43,315 Speaker 1: nineteen ninety four. I mean, he owned the New York Post, 401 00:30:43,555 --> 00:30:46,155 Speaker 1: and he made it terrible and dumber that it had 402 00:30:46,195 --> 00:30:48,875 Speaker 1: been before, dumber than any American paper had been before. 403 00:30:49,355 --> 00:30:51,675 Speaker 1: He had bought a bunch of local TV stations that 404 00:30:51,715 --> 00:30:54,955 Speaker 1: had been owned by Metromedia. He strung together a kind 405 00:30:54,955 --> 00:30:57,315 Speaker 1: of a fourth television network, but not really. It had 406 00:30:57,315 --> 00:30:59,475 Speaker 1: a lot of sports, It had The Simpsons, and it 407 00:30:59,555 --> 00:31:05,195 Speaker 1: had like four other non sports shows. By the night 408 00:31:05,235 --> 00:31:07,915 Speaker 1: of April fourth, nineteen ninety four, as Dennis Potter was 409 00:31:07,955 --> 00:31:10,755 Speaker 1: heard telling the British interviewer Melboyn Bragg my main cancer, 410 00:31:10,795 --> 00:31:12,315 Speaker 1: I call it Rupert. If I had at the time, 411 00:31:12,315 --> 00:31:14,915 Speaker 1: I would shoot the bugger if I could. By that 412 00:31:15,075 --> 00:31:18,635 Speaker 1: exact hour, Rupert Murdoch was already beginning to formulate plans 413 00:31:19,675 --> 00:31:21,675 Speaker 1: for a twenty four hour channel in this country to 414 00:31:21,715 --> 00:31:28,475 Speaker 1: be named Fox News, which ultimately had the same kind 415 00:31:28,475 --> 00:31:33,915 Speaker 1: of bitter, taunting, oxymoronic imbecility in its name that is 416 00:31:33,955 --> 00:31:41,075 Speaker 1: contained in the phrase military intelligence Fox News. Back in 417 00:31:41,075 --> 00:31:43,595 Speaker 1: the UK, Dennis Potter was still giving his farewell address 418 00:31:43,595 --> 00:31:46,115 Speaker 1: about the man he would have shot if he'd had time. Quote, 419 00:31:46,275 --> 00:31:49,115 Speaker 1: there is no one person more responsible for the pollution 420 00:31:49,515 --> 00:31:52,555 Speaker 1: what was already a fairly polluted press. And the pollution 421 00:31:52,635 --> 00:31:54,955 Speaker 1: of the British press is as important a part of 422 00:31:54,955 --> 00:31:58,395 Speaker 1: the pollution of British political life, and it's an important 423 00:31:58,435 --> 00:32:02,595 Speaker 1: part of the cynicism and misperception of our own realities 424 00:32:02,875 --> 00:32:06,475 Speaker 1: that is destroying so much of our political discourse. Sound familiar, 425 00:32:08,355 --> 00:32:12,875 Speaker 1: strong stuff for anybody, even a dying man who was 426 00:32:13,395 --> 00:32:18,715 Speaker 1: reinforcing himself with liquid morphine. But that was not the 427 00:32:18,755 --> 00:32:22,555 Speaker 1: first time Dennis Potter had taken Murdoch on. The year before, 428 00:32:22,595 --> 00:32:25,595 Speaker 1: on that same British network Channel four, it had given 429 00:32:25,635 --> 00:32:29,875 Speaker 1: an episode of its half hour series Opinions to Dennis Potter, 430 00:32:30,515 --> 00:32:32,795 Speaker 1: and he spent much of the time talking about quote 431 00:32:33,035 --> 00:32:39,435 Speaker 1: that drivel merchant, global huckster and so to speak, media psychopath, 432 00:32:39,595 --> 00:32:45,875 Speaker 1: Rupert Murdoch. There is an avid wetmouth down market slide 433 00:32:45,915 --> 00:32:49,795 Speaker 1: that began its giddiest descent the day marauding Rupert Murdoch 434 00:32:49,875 --> 00:32:53,835 Speaker 1: first left his paw marks on these shores and dragged 435 00:32:53,835 --> 00:32:56,795 Speaker 1: so many others towards the sewers, where too many of 436 00:32:56,795 --> 00:33:01,555 Speaker 1: his two craven employees have their natural habitat. It is 437 00:33:01,635 --> 00:33:05,035 Speaker 1: like he is describing Fox News and everything that is followed, 438 00:33:05,475 --> 00:33:09,155 Speaker 1: all of the both sides ism, the stuff you see 439 00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:13,595 Speaker 1: on the real networks, the NBC's CBS, ABC, CNN, that's 440 00:33:13,595 --> 00:33:19,075 Speaker 1: all because of Rupert Murdoch nineteen ninety four. And this 441 00:33:19,195 --> 00:33:22,595 Speaker 1: dying man named the cancer that would kill him Rupert, 442 00:33:22,875 --> 00:33:25,395 Speaker 1: so it had an identity he could hate and fight 443 00:33:25,475 --> 00:33:29,715 Speaker 1: against and exploit in order to express the menace that 444 00:33:29,755 --> 00:33:34,115 Speaker 1: he perceived Rupert Murdoch to be then and if he 445 00:33:34,155 --> 00:33:35,755 Speaker 1: had time, he said he would have killed him on 446 00:33:35,875 --> 00:33:41,595 Speaker 1: behalf of humanity twenty nine years ago, twenty nine years 447 00:33:41,835 --> 00:33:46,435 Speaker 1: of fatal damage ago. And it was five years before 448 00:33:46,475 --> 00:33:49,275 Speaker 1: I went to work for Rupert Murdoch anyway, even though 449 00:33:49,315 --> 00:33:52,315 Speaker 1: I had a tape of the Potter interview, and I 450 00:33:52,475 --> 00:33:55,395 Speaker 1: swear the book I read on the plane to go 451 00:33:55,515 --> 00:33:57,875 Speaker 1: to LA to go work for Rupert Murdoch was the 452 00:33:57,915 --> 00:34:03,435 Speaker 1: biography of Dennis Potter. See, I had finally convinced NBC 453 00:34:03,595 --> 00:34:05,955 Speaker 1: that I was serious about but I was not going 454 00:34:05,995 --> 00:34:09,475 Speaker 1: to no longer host its Monica Lewinsky Show. In nineteen 455 00:34:09,555 --> 00:34:11,915 Speaker 1: ninety eight, and the head of NBC Sports, Dick Ebersol, 456 00:34:11,995 --> 00:34:14,195 Speaker 1: had a great solution. He knew his friends at Fox 457 00:34:14,635 --> 00:34:17,955 Speaker 1: were longing to have me as the frontman for their 458 00:34:18,035 --> 00:34:20,195 Speaker 1: version of Sports Center, and so he proposed the following 459 00:34:20,435 --> 00:34:24,275 Speaker 1: NBC would give my agent ten days to negotiate two deals. 460 00:34:24,755 --> 00:34:27,035 Speaker 1: A deal for me to go to LA and host 461 00:34:27,115 --> 00:34:30,675 Speaker 1: Fox Sports News and Major League Baseball on Fox, and 462 00:34:30,755 --> 00:34:34,195 Speaker 1: another deal in which Fox would pay NBC a million 463 00:34:34,235 --> 00:34:37,195 Speaker 1: dollars for my contract like I was a baseball utility infielder. 464 00:34:38,315 --> 00:34:42,355 Speaker 1: And amazingly it worked. I got what was then a 465 00:34:42,395 --> 00:34:46,755 Speaker 1: record breaking salary for any cable sportscaster. Ever, NBC got 466 00:34:46,795 --> 00:34:51,475 Speaker 1: its million dollars, and maybe most startlingly, NBC then asked 467 00:34:51,475 --> 00:34:53,075 Speaker 1: me to stay on the air as a lame duck 468 00:34:53,155 --> 00:34:56,475 Speaker 1: for six weeks. Throughout my career, no matter how abrasive 469 00:34:56,515 --> 00:34:59,035 Speaker 1: the exit, my lame duck employers have always, for some 470 00:34:59,075 --> 00:35:01,475 Speaker 1: reason trusted me to stay on their air, even though 471 00:35:01,515 --> 00:35:04,595 Speaker 1: I was leaving. When I left LA in the f 472 00:35:04,675 --> 00:35:06,555 Speaker 1: first place on local news. I did this for three 473 00:35:06,595 --> 00:35:12,555 Speaker 1: months anyway. At first, Fox Sports was a delight. Their 474 00:35:12,675 --> 00:35:16,755 Speaker 1: news guys, and I mean Roger Ayles and his henchman, 475 00:35:16,875 --> 00:35:20,795 Speaker 1: John Moody. They pitched me on doing stuff for them 476 00:35:21,395 --> 00:35:23,555 Speaker 1: they wanted to see if I would co anchor with 477 00:35:23,635 --> 00:35:29,275 Speaker 1: Bill O'Reilly. I passed. But at four at Sports we 478 00:35:29,475 --> 00:35:32,435 Speaker 1: spent money. I worked with friends. I didn't have to 479 00:35:32,475 --> 00:35:35,675 Speaker 1: talk about politics. I could just narrate the highlights. I 480 00:35:35,675 --> 00:35:38,995 Speaker 1: could do funny voices. I lived on the beach. I 481 00:35:39,035 --> 00:35:40,715 Speaker 1: did the baseball game of the week, and went to 482 00:35:40,755 --> 00:35:43,315 Speaker 1: the All Star Game, in the World Series and everything else. 483 00:35:44,235 --> 00:35:47,075 Speaker 1: And every time there was a newspaper story about ESPN, 484 00:35:47,435 --> 00:35:51,155 Speaker 1: there was also my picture next to Chris Berman's, next 485 00:35:51,155 --> 00:35:53,995 Speaker 1: to Dan Patrick's, next to Whoever's, with a caption like 486 00:35:54,315 --> 00:35:59,355 Speaker 1: challenging ESPN. It was great. But then two things happened. 487 00:36:00,475 --> 00:36:02,955 Speaker 1: The Fox guy who knew that we were going to 488 00:36:03,035 --> 00:36:06,555 Speaker 1: need a minimum of five years just to get people 489 00:36:06,595 --> 00:36:11,075 Speaker 1: to know us, just to tie ESPN in the ratings. 490 00:36:11,515 --> 00:36:15,515 Speaker 1: Maybe he took me to lunch one day and he said, sorry, mate, 491 00:36:15,675 --> 00:36:18,155 Speaker 1: well missus is moving back to England tomorrow. I swear 492 00:36:18,155 --> 00:36:20,875 Speaker 1: he sounded like this. His then was Tony Ball, She's 493 00:36:20,915 --> 00:36:26,155 Speaker 1: going back without me, so I'm going with it. Good luck, mate. 494 00:36:26,995 --> 00:36:30,595 Speaker 1: He was replaced by guys, including David Hill, the score 495 00:36:30,635 --> 00:36:34,355 Speaker 1: bug guy, who replaced the five year plan with what 496 00:36:34,595 --> 00:36:38,315 Speaker 1: was a five week plan to raise the ratings by 497 00:36:38,395 --> 00:36:42,515 Speaker 1: one fifth of one point so they could raise the 498 00:36:42,555 --> 00:36:47,035 Speaker 1: price of the commercials twenty dollars each. I literally left 499 00:36:47,035 --> 00:36:50,875 Speaker 1: the meeting in which they explained their suicidal plan, and 500 00:36:50,915 --> 00:36:54,315 Speaker 1: they also revealed to me that my salary represented twenty 501 00:36:54,315 --> 00:36:57,035 Speaker 1: percent of their entire budget, which meant they didn't have 502 00:36:57,155 --> 00:37:00,315 Speaker 1: enough money to do the show. I left that meeting, 503 00:37:01,155 --> 00:37:04,235 Speaker 1: got to a phone, called my real estate agent and 504 00:37:04,275 --> 00:37:07,155 Speaker 1: put my house on the beach up for sale. But 505 00:37:07,195 --> 00:37:10,835 Speaker 1: I kept doing the job. Later, in nineteen ninety nine, 506 00:37:10,835 --> 00:37:13,115 Speaker 1: I broke a story everybody laughed at. Michael Jordan was 507 00:37:13,155 --> 00:37:15,035 Speaker 1: unhappy in retirement and he wanted to come back to 508 00:37:15,075 --> 00:37:17,195 Speaker 1: the NBA, and instead of getting a salary, he wanted 509 00:37:17,195 --> 00:37:20,115 Speaker 1: an ownership stake and a team. Two years later he 510 00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:22,355 Speaker 1: did that. Two thousand, I got to host the first 511 00:37:22,435 --> 00:37:26,155 Speaker 1: Mets Yankees World Series, and we were just gearing up 512 00:37:26,195 --> 00:37:28,475 Speaker 1: for the two thousand and one series and the two 513 00:37:28,515 --> 00:37:31,755 Speaker 1: thousand and one season before it, because we had just 514 00:37:31,835 --> 00:37:34,075 Speaker 1: run the rights to all of the World Series forever. 515 00:37:34,115 --> 00:37:37,595 Speaker 1: They're still doing the World Series on Fox. Just gearing 516 00:37:37,635 --> 00:37:39,435 Speaker 1: up for two thousand and one and the potential to 517 00:37:39,475 --> 00:37:41,435 Speaker 1: do the World Series every year for the next twenty 518 00:37:41,475 --> 00:37:44,675 Speaker 1: five years when I got a tip on April twentieth, 519 00:37:44,715 --> 00:37:46,595 Speaker 1: two thousand and one, that the owners of the La 520 00:37:46,675 --> 00:37:50,395 Speaker 1: Dodgers had put the team up for sale unofficially and 521 00:37:50,435 --> 00:37:52,955 Speaker 1: in fact they were talking to the old owners, the 522 00:37:52,955 --> 00:37:58,315 Speaker 1: O'Malley family, about taking the Dodgers off their hands. This 523 00:37:58,475 --> 00:38:01,155 Speaker 1: was a great scoop. Unfortunately it had great danger because 524 00:38:01,195 --> 00:38:09,355 Speaker 1: the owners of the Dodgers were Fox, Rupert Murdoch, my employer. HMM. 525 00:38:11,795 --> 00:38:13,435 Speaker 1: So the next day I made about one hundred phone 526 00:38:13,435 --> 00:38:16,475 Speaker 1: calls to make sure that there was something to this story, 527 00:38:16,555 --> 00:38:18,195 Speaker 1: and sure enough I got a friend of a friend 528 00:38:18,235 --> 00:38:20,875 Speaker 1: of a friend of my agent to confirm that he 529 00:38:21,035 --> 00:38:25,715 Speaker 1: and his family were in preliminary discussions alongside the O'Malley's 530 00:38:25,955 --> 00:38:29,835 Speaker 1: to buy the Dodgers back from Fox. I had two sources, 531 00:38:30,195 --> 00:38:35,275 Speaker 1: one of them in the deal. Great scoop, Dodgers for sale. 532 00:38:36,075 --> 00:38:37,955 Speaker 1: And that night I reached out to my bosses and 533 00:38:37,995 --> 00:38:40,755 Speaker 1: I said, so, uh, what do we uh? What do 534 00:38:40,795 --> 00:38:42,395 Speaker 1: we do here? What the hell do we do here? 535 00:38:42,435 --> 00:38:45,875 Speaker 1: The story is solid. The Dodgers are for sale. I 536 00:38:45,915 --> 00:38:48,475 Speaker 1: have no no doubt Rupert has put them up for sale. 537 00:38:48,475 --> 00:38:51,555 Speaker 1: He just hasn't done it officially yet hei they're talking 538 00:38:51,595 --> 00:38:56,035 Speaker 1: to the O'Malleys, I just talked to this agent. Mmmm hmmmm. 539 00:38:58,155 --> 00:39:01,115 Speaker 1: But look, this is this is your candy store, Fox 540 00:39:01,315 --> 00:39:04,675 Speaker 1: Fox Sports. You signed the checks I worked for you. 541 00:39:04,435 --> 00:39:06,915 Speaker 1: If if you don't want me to report this, I'm 542 00:39:06,955 --> 00:39:10,355 Speaker 1: obviously not going to report this and I'm not going 543 00:39:10,395 --> 00:39:12,235 Speaker 1: to pout. I'm not going to give it to somebody else. 544 00:39:12,355 --> 00:39:13,875 Speaker 1: Somebody will figure it out, but I'm not going to 545 00:39:13,875 --> 00:39:18,035 Speaker 1: give it to them. And my boss's reply was good 546 00:39:18,075 --> 00:39:21,275 Speaker 1: for you. Why don't we all get on the phone 547 00:39:22,475 --> 00:39:26,315 Speaker 1: with New York We see we get Rupert on the phone, 548 00:39:26,915 --> 00:39:29,155 Speaker 1: and if not, he has his own Personal News Corp 549 00:39:29,315 --> 00:39:31,795 Speaker 1: Public relations department. Let's see what they say. What are 550 00:39:31,835 --> 00:39:33,835 Speaker 1: the rules? This has to have come up before somewhere 551 00:39:33,835 --> 00:39:37,355 Speaker 1: in the company. So on Sunday, April twenty second, two 552 00:39:37,395 --> 00:39:40,035 Speaker 1: thousand and one, we got Murdoch's own PR guy on 553 00:39:40,155 --> 00:39:42,715 Speaker 1: the blower and I explained it to him and he said, well, 554 00:39:42,995 --> 00:39:46,355 Speaker 1: Rupert's on her world cruise. And in any event, he 555 00:39:46,395 --> 00:39:49,675 Speaker 1: has a policy about this. He never interferes in editorial decisions, 556 00:39:49,715 --> 00:39:53,155 Speaker 1: not even in sourced business stories, not even if they 557 00:39:53,195 --> 00:39:56,035 Speaker 1: involve him or touch on the company, so long as 558 00:39:56,115 --> 00:39:58,635 Speaker 1: you make clear that your sources are not from within 559 00:39:58,755 --> 00:40:03,555 Speaker 1: the company, because that's a money issue and a legal 560 00:40:04,315 --> 00:40:08,435 Speaker 1: regulars issue. So long as you are confident in your sources, 561 00:40:08,475 --> 00:40:11,635 Speaker 1: so long as you include our denial, you should proceed 562 00:40:11,675 --> 00:40:14,475 Speaker 1: with this story. That is what we are paying you for. 563 00:40:18,315 --> 00:40:23,315 Speaker 1: And I thought, for a moment, perhaps I have misjudged 564 00:40:23,435 --> 00:40:27,755 Speaker 1: Rupert Murdoch. I mean, he had a reputation as a journalist. 565 00:40:29,875 --> 00:40:32,595 Speaker 1: Good lord, that's what I heard at every corner yesterday, 566 00:40:32,635 --> 00:40:37,075 Speaker 1: three four thousand times. Well, yes, he's Satan, but Satan 567 00:40:37,195 --> 00:40:40,835 Speaker 1: is a journalist. Jerry was a Obama bin journalist, but 568 00:40:40,875 --> 00:40:45,755 Speaker 1: he kept reporters employed. That moment that I thought I 569 00:40:45,795 --> 00:40:48,035 Speaker 1: had misjudged Rupert Murdoch turned out to be a very 570 00:40:48,075 --> 00:40:52,835 Speaker 1: brief moment and a very wrong moment. I reported the 571 00:40:52,875 --> 00:40:56,835 Speaker 1: story that night. My story was only about a minute long. 572 00:40:57,315 --> 00:41:00,755 Speaker 1: The crafted Fox denial of this was like a minute 573 00:41:00,835 --> 00:41:08,155 Speaker 1: forty five read all of it? How of denials? Five 574 00:41:08,235 --> 00:41:10,675 Speaker 1: days later, the Long Beach Press Telegram had its own 575 00:41:10,715 --> 00:41:16,275 Speaker 1: story headlined, despite denials, Dodgers are for sale, and it 576 00:41:16,315 --> 00:41:19,155 Speaker 1: had far more details than I had. And that really 577 00:41:19,235 --> 00:41:22,075 Speaker 1: was was the end of it. The team was unofficially 578 00:41:22,115 --> 00:41:25,395 Speaker 1: for sale. Dodger fans who hated what Fox and Murdoch 579 00:41:25,435 --> 00:41:27,555 Speaker 1: had done to the team seemed happy about that. And 580 00:41:27,595 --> 00:41:32,235 Speaker 1: the vast, stinking pile of burning excrement that was Fox 581 00:41:32,275 --> 00:41:35,835 Speaker 1: and News Corp. And Rupert Murnox sailed on unperturbed, isn't 582 00:41:35,835 --> 00:41:38,955 Speaker 1: here as I could tell. And twelve days after that, 583 00:41:39,035 --> 00:41:41,715 Speaker 1: just before I was getting into the car to go 584 00:41:41,795 --> 00:41:44,595 Speaker 1: to the first Fox Baseball meeting for our two thousand 585 00:41:44,595 --> 00:41:48,115 Speaker 1: and one season, the president of Fox Sports, this same guy, 586 00:41:48,235 --> 00:41:51,555 Speaker 1: David Hill, the score bug guy, calls my agent and 587 00:41:51,635 --> 00:41:55,075 Speaker 1: tells a christ not doing any baseball for us this year. 588 00:41:55,235 --> 00:42:02,195 Speaker 1: Business decision click click in Australian end of conversation. Nothing else, 589 00:42:03,275 --> 00:42:06,115 Speaker 1: no explanation, no firing, no get out, no clean out 590 00:42:06,115 --> 00:42:09,155 Speaker 1: your desk, no announcement. And then two days later they 591 00:42:09,155 --> 00:42:12,075 Speaker 1: turned off my access to the Fox computer system. And 592 00:42:12,155 --> 00:42:14,755 Speaker 1: four days after they called and canceled my cable show. 593 00:42:16,195 --> 00:42:19,275 Speaker 1: And then that night and got two weird calls from 594 00:42:19,355 --> 00:42:22,955 Speaker 1: Richard Sandomir, who was then the TV sports critic and 595 00:42:23,035 --> 00:42:26,835 Speaker 1: TV sports business reporter for the New York Times. When 596 00:42:26,875 --> 00:42:29,355 Speaker 1: the New York Times did sports, and when there were 597 00:42:29,395 --> 00:42:32,875 Speaker 1: TV sports critics and Rich asks me, so, did you 598 00:42:32,915 --> 00:42:36,115 Speaker 1: know you were fired by Rupert Murdoch personally? And I said, 599 00:42:36,155 --> 00:42:39,515 Speaker 1: with genuine astonishment that not only didn't I know that, 600 00:42:40,315 --> 00:42:42,555 Speaker 1: but that, even given my thoughts about him, I did 601 00:42:42,555 --> 00:42:45,835 Speaker 1: not believe that. Ah, that's what my source is at Fox. 602 00:42:45,875 --> 00:42:48,835 Speaker 1: Tell me, apparently your Dodger story really pissed him off, 603 00:42:50,275 --> 00:42:53,395 Speaker 1: but really, and I said I had cleared it through 604 00:42:53,395 --> 00:42:56,315 Speaker 1: his personal PR guy. Why would that be the case? 605 00:42:56,315 --> 00:42:59,435 Speaker 1: And he goes, I don't know. Apparently he was on vacation. 606 00:42:59,515 --> 00:43:01,395 Speaker 1: He got back like May ninth, he read all these 607 00:43:01,395 --> 00:43:03,395 Speaker 1: stories about the Dodgers being for sale and how Fox 608 00:43:03,395 --> 00:43:05,555 Speaker 1: Sports it was the first report it, and called up 609 00:43:05,635 --> 00:43:07,915 Speaker 1: David Hill and he told him to fire you immediately. 610 00:43:09,715 --> 00:43:11,595 Speaker 1: And I told Rich, this the first time I've heard this, 611 00:43:11,955 --> 00:43:15,235 Speaker 1: and I still don't. I don't. I'm not saying I 612 00:43:15,235 --> 00:43:18,235 Speaker 1: don't believe it. I'm saying I don't believe this is true, 613 00:43:19,795 --> 00:43:24,075 Speaker 1: even though the day he mentioned was May ninth, and 614 00:43:24,155 --> 00:43:26,795 Speaker 1: May ninth was the day David Hill had called my 615 00:43:26,875 --> 00:43:29,115 Speaker 1: agent as I was going into the baseball meeting and 616 00:43:29,155 --> 00:43:31,195 Speaker 1: told her I would not be doing baseball for Fox 617 00:43:31,195 --> 00:43:35,355 Speaker 1: that year. Hmmm. Now, an hour later, the phone rings, 618 00:43:35,355 --> 00:43:37,795 Speaker 1: and again it's Rich Sandomir and now he sounds shaken. 619 00:43:38,635 --> 00:43:40,835 Speaker 1: I got it wrong. I don't have any sources at 620 00:43:40,835 --> 00:43:43,835 Speaker 1: Fox who told me Rupert fired you personally. My source 621 00:43:44,955 --> 00:43:48,955 Speaker 1: said that you you were telling people Rupert had fired 622 00:43:48,995 --> 00:43:54,715 Speaker 1: you personally about the Dodger story. And now I gave 623 00:43:54,835 --> 00:43:58,475 Speaker 1: Rich a series of uh huh, and I said, no, 624 00:43:58,675 --> 00:44:00,875 Speaker 1: I didn't, and no, You've never been dumb enough in 625 00:44:00,915 --> 00:44:03,075 Speaker 1: your life to make the mistake you're saying you just made. 626 00:44:03,435 --> 00:44:05,635 Speaker 1: And he said, well, I never said somebody had Fox 627 00:44:05,635 --> 00:44:09,515 Speaker 1: said Murdock fired you. Okay, thanks by click in American. 628 00:44:11,595 --> 00:44:13,275 Speaker 1: The next day they had me come into Fox and 629 00:44:13,315 --> 00:44:16,915 Speaker 1: clean out my office while guard watched. She was very nice. 630 00:44:16,915 --> 00:44:20,475 Speaker 1: She brought donuts. As I packed, I thought more and 631 00:44:20,515 --> 00:44:22,115 Speaker 1: more of what had happened in the months since I 632 00:44:22,115 --> 00:44:24,315 Speaker 1: had gotten the tip about the Dodgers being for sale. 633 00:44:25,075 --> 00:44:27,395 Speaker 1: As I left the Fox lot for the last time 634 00:44:28,475 --> 00:44:30,435 Speaker 1: as an employee, I went back a couple of times 635 00:44:30,435 --> 00:44:33,155 Speaker 1: to attend table reads for the Simpsons much more fun. 636 00:44:34,115 --> 00:44:36,075 Speaker 1: I called a couple of reporters I knew, and I 637 00:44:36,115 --> 00:44:38,195 Speaker 1: called my agent, and I called some people in the business, 638 00:44:38,235 --> 00:44:40,675 Speaker 1: and we tried to put together a timeline of what 639 00:44:40,755 --> 00:44:43,035 Speaker 1: had happened. That made some sense, because the slow motion 640 00:44:43,195 --> 00:44:45,995 Speaker 1: firing thing. May ninth, you're not doing baseball. May eleventh, 641 00:44:46,035 --> 00:44:49,035 Speaker 1: your computer doesn't work. May fifteenth, your cable show is canceled. 642 00:44:49,155 --> 00:44:51,995 Speaker 1: May sixteenth, clean out your office. That made no sense 643 00:44:54,155 --> 00:44:58,075 Speaker 1: until one reporter friend said, you know, Fox called me 644 00:44:58,115 --> 00:45:00,875 Speaker 1: and said, call Keith up and provoke him. Get him 645 00:45:00,875 --> 00:45:03,755 Speaker 1: to call us names, tell him about this story in 646 00:45:03,755 --> 00:45:07,715 Speaker 1: that paper, calling washed up, get him going. And then 647 00:45:07,715 --> 00:45:11,795 Speaker 1: it all clicked. My contract ran through the end of 648 00:45:11,835 --> 00:45:15,955 Speaker 1: the year. And because Fox was firing me without cause, 649 00:45:16,395 --> 00:45:19,875 Speaker 1: without any violation of my contract, certainly without any violation 650 00:45:19,955 --> 00:45:23,115 Speaker 1: of their rules, I was on with Murdock's vice president 651 00:45:23,115 --> 00:45:25,875 Speaker 1: talking about the rules. Because I had left a trail 652 00:45:25,995 --> 00:45:29,115 Speaker 1: of good behavior on the Dodger story. They were trying 653 00:45:29,155 --> 00:45:32,235 Speaker 1: to enrage me, to get me to say something nasty 654 00:45:32,275 --> 00:45:34,835 Speaker 1: that would be a violation of my contract so they 655 00:45:34,835 --> 00:45:38,035 Speaker 1: could outright fire me and keep the money. And the 656 00:45:38,075 --> 00:45:44,995 Speaker 1: money was about eight hundred thousand dollars. Now, after decades 657 00:45:45,035 --> 00:45:47,755 Speaker 1: of contemplating this and living it, I'm confident I am 658 00:45:47,835 --> 00:45:52,675 Speaker 1: no crazier than the next guy, but on my worst craziest, 659 00:45:52,995 --> 00:45:57,595 Speaker 1: least rational day, and I'm nearly sixty five years old. 660 00:45:57,835 --> 00:46:00,275 Speaker 1: If you said you have two choices, you can blow 661 00:46:00,355 --> 00:46:02,475 Speaker 1: up these people who are firing you. You can make 662 00:46:02,515 --> 00:46:05,035 Speaker 1: them look bad in a newspaper for a day and 663 00:46:05,075 --> 00:46:07,075 Speaker 1: then they'll fire you and they'll keep all the money 664 00:46:07,115 --> 00:46:10,955 Speaker 1: they owe you. Or you can keep your big bazoo 665 00:46:11,155 --> 00:46:17,635 Speaker 1: shut for seven months, keep eight hundred thousand dollars, and 666 00:46:17,675 --> 00:46:20,275 Speaker 1: then spend the rest of your natural life blowing these 667 00:46:20,275 --> 00:46:23,835 Speaker 1: people up. If that's the choice, I would always take 668 00:46:23,915 --> 00:46:29,475 Speaker 1: the scenario that gives me the eight hundred thousand dollars. Always, 669 00:46:30,075 --> 00:46:34,915 Speaker 1: Who wouldn't Till on January first, two thousand and two, 670 00:46:34,915 --> 00:46:37,555 Speaker 1: after the last Fox check cleared, I began making a 671 00:46:37,595 --> 00:46:41,795 Speaker 1: professional avocation out of attacking Fox News, Fox Sports, Fox Business, 672 00:46:41,995 --> 00:46:47,195 Speaker 1: Fox Murdoch, Rupert Murdoch, Fox, O'Reilly, Fox, Tucker Carlson, Fox, whatever, 673 00:46:48,355 --> 00:46:52,595 Speaker 1: And I got the eight hundred thousand. But they're lingered 674 00:46:52,635 --> 00:46:55,915 Speaker 1: for years this rather academic question of whether Rupert Murdoch 675 00:46:55,955 --> 00:46:58,755 Speaker 1: had actually fired me for following the rules set out 676 00:46:58,795 --> 00:47:04,955 Speaker 1: by Rupert Murdoch's personal pr guy. As usual in life, 677 00:47:05,035 --> 00:47:07,435 Speaker 1: these things resolved themselves when you least expect them to. 678 00:47:07,595 --> 00:47:11,795 Speaker 1: Murdoch was speaking at the Dow Jones Conference in Carlsbad, California, 679 00:47:12,075 --> 00:47:14,035 Speaker 1: on May twenty eight, two thousand and eight, and a 680 00:47:14,075 --> 00:47:16,115 Speaker 1: story came across the wire with my name on it, 681 00:47:16,875 --> 00:47:19,915 Speaker 1: and the guy interviewing him talked about whether there should 682 00:47:19,955 --> 00:47:23,635 Speaker 1: be dissenting voices on Fox quote news unquote, like that 683 00:47:23,755 --> 00:47:26,715 Speaker 1: guy who was killing it on MSNBC Keith Alderman, and 684 00:47:27,075 --> 00:47:31,795 Speaker 1: Rupert Murdoch went crazy. Now, he barked, I fired him 685 00:47:32,115 --> 00:47:38,515 Speaker 1: five years ago. He was crazy. Timing was off close. 686 00:47:39,035 --> 00:47:41,675 Speaker 1: I mean he was able to remember the details, if 687 00:47:41,715 --> 00:47:43,755 Speaker 1: not the exact time frame, But there it was. Rupert 688 00:47:43,835 --> 00:47:47,915 Speaker 1: Murdoch confessed he had fired me personally. He was giving 689 00:47:47,955 --> 00:47:49,835 Speaker 1: me the red badge of courage a little late, but 690 00:47:49,875 --> 00:47:54,235 Speaker 1: there it was. And I wondered and hoped maybe it 691 00:47:54,355 --> 00:47:56,075 Speaker 1: still pisses him off that he had to pay me 692 00:47:56,115 --> 00:47:58,675 Speaker 1: the eight hundred grand when I wouldn't take the bait 693 00:47:58,715 --> 00:48:03,195 Speaker 1: about grievance. And three years later Rupert said it again. 694 00:48:04,195 --> 00:48:07,235 Speaker 1: February first, twenty eleven, He's being interviewed by his business 695 00:48:07,275 --> 00:48:09,795 Speaker 1: talking head Neil Kavudo, who for some reason asked him 696 00:48:09,795 --> 00:48:11,915 Speaker 1: if he would consider hiring me for Fox News. I 697 00:48:11,915 --> 00:48:15,075 Speaker 1: had just left MSNBC. Now we fired him once. We 698 00:48:15,115 --> 00:48:20,275 Speaker 1: don't believe in firing people twice. Kavodo replied, you called 699 00:48:20,315 --> 00:48:22,715 Speaker 1: him a nut. Well, he was a nut on we 700 00:48:22,755 --> 00:48:26,955 Speaker 1: had him on late night Fox Sports. It was never 701 00:48:26,995 --> 00:48:31,355 Speaker 1: any such show as Late night Fox Sports. But never mind, 702 00:48:31,635 --> 00:48:34,355 Speaker 1: disagree with him and he'd fire you. Rupert went on, 703 00:48:34,595 --> 00:48:38,235 Speaker 1: it was impossible. I fired him. He was crazy, fired 704 00:48:38,235 --> 00:48:41,475 Speaker 1: me for following his rules, and I was the one 705 00:48:41,515 --> 00:48:48,195 Speaker 1: who was crazy. And now he belongs to the ages. 706 00:48:49,195 --> 00:48:53,475 Speaker 1: Oh but the show humanized him. It sucked. He sucks. 707 00:48:54,155 --> 00:48:58,035 Speaker 1: To hell with them as soon as possible. And speaking 708 00:48:58,075 --> 00:49:02,675 Speaker 1: of crazy, I have a love hate relationship with the 709 00:49:02,755 --> 00:49:07,595 Speaker 1: name Keith. But did you know that Murdoch's real first 710 00:49:07,675 --> 00:49:13,995 Speaker 1: name is also Keith, But that rather than call himself Keith, 711 00:49:15,595 --> 00:49:19,635 Speaker 1: he has for ninety two years voluntarily chosen to call 712 00:49:19,755 --> 00:49:29,155 Speaker 1: himself Rupert. I mean, sure my name is Keith, that 713 00:49:29,275 --> 00:49:37,995 Speaker 1: at least it ain't freaking rupert that they're going to 714 00:49:38,075 --> 00:49:49,715 Speaker 1: write on my grave coming up Fridays with Thurber At first, 715 00:49:49,715 --> 00:49:52,155 Speaker 1: a quick announcement. I'll explain this in full detail as 716 00:49:52,155 --> 00:49:53,915 Speaker 1: soon as I can. And I preface this by saying, 717 00:49:53,915 --> 00:49:56,275 Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with my health, though I could use 718 00:49:56,275 --> 00:49:58,875 Speaker 1: a little break here from my throat, especially after doing 719 00:49:58,915 --> 00:50:02,835 Speaker 1: the Rupert Murdoch voice. The dogs are fine, audience is 720 00:50:02,875 --> 00:50:06,875 Speaker 1: still growing. I like doing this. My boss, well, my 721 00:50:06,915 --> 00:50:09,475 Speaker 1: boss is me, but I am going to scale this 722 00:50:09,515 --> 00:50:12,195 Speaker 1: podcast down to four days a week for now at least. 723 00:50:12,235 --> 00:50:14,235 Speaker 1: I'll explain it in full later, but the plan is 724 00:50:14,395 --> 00:50:18,315 Speaker 1: new episodes Tuesday through Friday. That'd be Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, 725 00:50:18,355 --> 00:50:21,355 Speaker 1: and Friday. Frankly, the Monday one is kind of lame anyway, 726 00:50:21,795 --> 00:50:24,355 Speaker 1: and it's the least listened to of the five. And 727 00:50:24,475 --> 00:50:27,235 Speaker 1: if there's important news over the weekend, I will do 728 00:50:27,435 --> 00:50:30,715 Speaker 1: one anyway on Monday, coming out Sunday night. But from 729 00:50:30,755 --> 00:50:33,755 Speaker 1: here on in the regular schedule be Monday a little 730 00:50:33,755 --> 00:50:37,075 Speaker 1: bit after midnight Eastern, Tuesday midnight Eastern, Wednesday midnight Eastern, 731 00:50:37,115 --> 00:50:40,315 Speaker 1: Thursday midnight Eastern. And as always, thanks for listening to 732 00:50:40,355 --> 00:50:42,595 Speaker 1: any of them, and I will explain it in full later. 733 00:50:43,635 --> 00:50:52,235 Speaker 1: But okay, Thurber, that's next. This is Countdown to the 734 00:50:52,315 --> 00:50:55,075 Speaker 1: number one story on the Countdown and Fridays with Thurber. 735 00:50:55,115 --> 00:50:57,875 Speaker 1: And it's amazing to me in retrospect how I read 736 00:50:58,035 --> 00:51:03,555 Speaker 1: all of his wonderful, realistic, not goopy writing about dogs, 737 00:51:04,035 --> 00:51:09,075 Speaker 1: and I thoroughly years before I was ever adopted by 738 00:51:09,155 --> 00:51:15,115 Speaker 1: a dog. Now reading his dog stories and anecdotes is 739 00:51:15,195 --> 00:51:18,675 Speaker 1: like reading about a bunch of friends, even that one 740 00:51:18,995 --> 00:51:25,875 Speaker 1: surly friend for whom we must continuously make excuses. The 741 00:51:26,035 --> 00:51:33,555 Speaker 1: dog that bit people by James Thurber. Probably no one 742 00:51:33,635 --> 00:51:36,675 Speaker 1: man should have as many dogs in this life as 743 00:51:36,715 --> 00:51:40,235 Speaker 1: I have had, But there was more pleasure than distress 744 00:51:40,275 --> 00:51:43,435 Speaker 1: in them for me, except in the case of an 745 00:51:43,475 --> 00:51:47,635 Speaker 1: Airdale named Mugs. He gave me more trouble than all 746 00:51:47,675 --> 00:51:52,315 Speaker 1: the other fifty four or five put together. Although my 747 00:51:52,475 --> 00:51:56,155 Speaker 1: moment of keenest embarrassment was the time a Scotch Terrier 748 00:51:56,235 --> 00:51:58,835 Speaker 1: named Jeanie, who had just had six puppies in the 749 00:51:58,875 --> 00:52:01,675 Speaker 1: clothes closet of a fourth floor apartment in New York, 750 00:52:02,115 --> 00:52:05,955 Speaker 1: had the unexpected seventh and last at the corner of 751 00:52:05,995 --> 00:52:09,035 Speaker 1: Eleventh Street and Fifth Avenue during a walk she had 752 00:52:09,035 --> 00:52:12,995 Speaker 1: insisted on taking. Then two there was the prize winning 753 00:52:13,035 --> 00:52:16,395 Speaker 1: French poodle, a giant, big black poodle, none of your little, 754 00:52:16,475 --> 00:52:20,835 Speaker 1: untroublesome white miniatures, who got sick riding in the rumble 755 00:52:20,875 --> 00:52:23,355 Speaker 1: seat of a car with me on her way to 756 00:52:23,395 --> 00:52:26,635 Speaker 1: the Greenwich dog show. She had a red rubber bib 757 00:52:26,795 --> 00:52:29,555 Speaker 1: tucked around her throat, and since a rainstorm came up 758 00:52:29,715 --> 00:52:32,435 Speaker 1: when we were halfway through the Bronx, I had to 759 00:52:32,555 --> 00:52:38,035 Speaker 1: hold over her a small green umbrella, really more of 760 00:52:38,035 --> 00:52:41,995 Speaker 1: a parasol. The rain beat down fearfully, and suddenly the 761 00:52:42,075 --> 00:52:44,475 Speaker 1: driver of the car drove into a big garage filled 762 00:52:44,515 --> 00:52:47,435 Speaker 1: with mechanics. It happened so quickly that I forgot to 763 00:52:47,435 --> 00:52:50,955 Speaker 1: put the umbrella down, and I will always remember with 764 00:52:51,315 --> 00:52:56,835 Speaker 1: sickening distress the look of incredulity mixed with hatred that 765 00:52:56,995 --> 00:53:00,315 Speaker 1: came over the face of the particular hardened garage man 766 00:53:00,315 --> 00:53:02,355 Speaker 1: that came over to see what we wanted when he 767 00:53:02,395 --> 00:53:06,395 Speaker 1: took a look at me and the poodle. All garage 768 00:53:06,435 --> 00:53:11,355 Speaker 1: men and people of that intolerant stripe hate poodles with 769 00:53:11,395 --> 00:53:15,195 Speaker 1: their curious haircuts, especially the pom poms that you got 770 00:53:15,235 --> 00:53:17,635 Speaker 1: to leave on their hips if you expect the dogs 771 00:53:17,635 --> 00:53:23,515 Speaker 1: to win a prize. But the Airdale, as I have said, 772 00:53:23,795 --> 00:53:26,275 Speaker 1: was the worst of all my dogs. He really wasn't 773 00:53:26,395 --> 00:53:28,795 Speaker 1: my dog. Matter of fact, I came home from a 774 00:53:28,835 --> 00:53:31,555 Speaker 1: vacation one summer to find that my brother Roy had 775 00:53:31,595 --> 00:53:36,555 Speaker 1: bought him while I was away the big, burly, choleric dog. 776 00:53:36,635 --> 00:53:40,035 Speaker 1: He always acted as if he thought I wasn't one 777 00:53:40,035 --> 00:53:43,595 Speaker 1: of the family. There was a slight advantage in being 778 00:53:43,635 --> 00:53:45,675 Speaker 1: one of the family, for he didn't bite the family 779 00:53:45,715 --> 00:53:49,075 Speaker 1: as often as he bit strangers. Still, in the years 780 00:53:49,075 --> 00:53:52,675 Speaker 1: that we had him, he bit everybody but Mother, and 781 00:53:52,755 --> 00:53:56,955 Speaker 1: he made a pass at her once but missed. It 782 00:53:56,995 --> 00:53:59,715 Speaker 1: was during the month when we suddenly had mice, and 783 00:53:59,835 --> 00:54:03,595 Speaker 1: Mugs refused to do anything about them. Nobody ever had 784 00:54:03,715 --> 00:54:05,955 Speaker 1: mice exactly like the mice we had that month. They 785 00:54:05,995 --> 00:54:10,035 Speaker 1: acted like pet mice, almost like mice somebody had trained. 786 00:54:12,035 --> 00:54:14,515 Speaker 1: They were so friendly that one night, when Mother entertained 787 00:54:14,515 --> 00:54:17,795 Speaker 1: at dinner the Freer Realilras, a club she and my 788 00:54:17,875 --> 00:54:20,515 Speaker 1: father had belonged to for twenty years, she put down 789 00:54:20,555 --> 00:54:22,555 Speaker 1: a lot of little dishes with food in them on 790 00:54:22,595 --> 00:54:25,915 Speaker 1: the pantry floor so that the mice would be satisfied 791 00:54:25,915 --> 00:54:28,195 Speaker 1: with that and would not come into the dining room. 792 00:54:29,475 --> 00:54:33,195 Speaker 1: Mugs stayed out in the pantry with the mice lying 793 00:54:33,235 --> 00:54:36,475 Speaker 1: on the floor, growling to himself, not at the mice, 794 00:54:37,075 --> 00:54:39,035 Speaker 1: but about all the people in the next room that 795 00:54:39,075 --> 00:54:43,275 Speaker 1: he would have liked to get at. Mother slipped out 796 00:54:43,275 --> 00:54:45,555 Speaker 1: into the pantry once to see how everything was going. 797 00:54:46,115 --> 00:54:49,555 Speaker 1: Everything was going fine. It made her so mad to 798 00:54:49,555 --> 00:54:53,075 Speaker 1: see mugs lying there oblivious of the mice. They came 799 00:54:53,195 --> 00:54:57,355 Speaker 1: running up to her that she slapped him, and he 800 00:54:57,595 --> 00:55:01,355 Speaker 1: slashed at her, but didn't make it. He was sorry immediately. 801 00:55:01,715 --> 00:55:05,435 Speaker 1: Mother said he was always sorry, he said after he 802 00:55:05,515 --> 00:55:07,995 Speaker 1: bit someone. But we could not understand how she figured 803 00:55:07,995 --> 00:55:12,675 Speaker 1: this out. He didn't act sorry. Mother used to send 804 00:55:12,675 --> 00:55:15,075 Speaker 1: a box of candy every Christmas to the people. The 805 00:55:15,115 --> 00:55:21,235 Speaker 1: Airdale bit list finally contained forty or more names. Nobody 806 00:55:21,275 --> 00:55:23,395 Speaker 1: could understand why we did not get rid of the dog. 807 00:55:23,475 --> 00:55:25,875 Speaker 1: I didn't understand it very well myself, but we didn't 808 00:55:25,915 --> 00:55:29,635 Speaker 1: get rid of him. I think that one or two 809 00:55:29,715 --> 00:55:34,075 Speaker 1: people tried to poison Mugs. He acted poisoned once in 810 00:55:34,075 --> 00:55:38,155 Speaker 1: a while, and old Major Moberly fired at him once 811 00:55:38,195 --> 00:55:41,235 Speaker 1: with his service revolver near the Seneca Hotel and He's 812 00:55:41,235 --> 00:55:45,355 Speaker 1: Broad Street. But Muggs lived to almost eleven years old, 813 00:55:45,395 --> 00:55:47,475 Speaker 1: and even when he could hardly get around, he bit 814 00:55:47,515 --> 00:55:51,715 Speaker 1: a congressman who had called to see my father on business. 815 00:55:52,675 --> 00:55:56,355 Speaker 1: My mother had never liked the congressman. She said, the 816 00:55:56,395 --> 00:55:59,835 Speaker 1: signs of his horoscope showed he couldn't be trusted. He 817 00:55:59,955 --> 00:56:03,395 Speaker 1: was Saturn with the moon and Virgo. But she sent 818 00:56:03,475 --> 00:56:06,195 Speaker 1: him a box of candy that Chris anyway. He sent 819 00:56:06,275 --> 00:56:11,515 Speaker 1: it right back, probably because he suspected it was trick candy. 820 00:56:11,715 --> 00:56:14,115 Speaker 1: Mother persuaded herself that it was all for the best 821 00:56:14,115 --> 00:56:16,235 Speaker 1: that the dog had bitten him, even though father lost 822 00:56:16,275 --> 00:56:19,395 Speaker 1: an important business association because of it. I wouldn't be 823 00:56:19,435 --> 00:56:23,355 Speaker 1: associated with such a man, Mother said. Mugs could read 824 00:56:23,435 --> 00:56:27,915 Speaker 1: him lack a book. We used to take turns feeding 825 00:56:28,035 --> 00:56:30,635 Speaker 1: mugs to be on his good side, but that didn't 826 00:56:30,635 --> 00:56:33,355 Speaker 1: always work. He was never in a very good humor 827 00:56:33,395 --> 00:56:36,675 Speaker 1: even after a meal. Nobody knew exactly what was the 828 00:56:36,715 --> 00:56:40,435 Speaker 1: matter with him, but whatever it was, it made him irascible, 829 00:56:40,635 --> 00:56:45,275 Speaker 1: especially in the mornings. Roy my brother, never felt very 830 00:56:45,275 --> 00:56:47,755 Speaker 1: well in the morning either, especially before breakfast, And once 831 00:56:47,795 --> 00:56:51,395 Speaker 1: when he came downstairs and found that Mugs had moodily 832 00:56:51,515 --> 00:56:54,675 Speaker 1: chewed up the morning paper, he hit him in the 833 00:56:54,715 --> 00:56:57,995 Speaker 1: face with a grapefruit, and then jumped up on the 834 00:56:58,035 --> 00:57:02,835 Speaker 1: dining room table, scattering dishes and silverware and spilling the coffee. 835 00:57:03,435 --> 00:57:07,195 Speaker 1: Mugs first free leap carried him all the way across 836 00:57:07,275 --> 00:57:10,155 Speaker 1: the table and into a brass fire screen in front 837 00:57:10,155 --> 00:57:12,515 Speaker 1: of the gas grate. But he was back on his 838 00:57:12,555 --> 00:57:14,155 Speaker 1: feet in a moment, and in the end he got 839 00:57:14,235 --> 00:57:16,515 Speaker 1: roy and gave him a pretty vicious bite in the leg. 840 00:57:17,675 --> 00:57:20,075 Speaker 1: Then he was all over it. He never bid anyone 841 00:57:20,115 --> 00:57:23,595 Speaker 1: more than once at a time. Mother always mentioned that 842 00:57:23,955 --> 00:57:26,675 Speaker 1: as an argument in his favor. She said he had 843 00:57:26,675 --> 00:57:29,395 Speaker 1: a quick temper, but that he didn't hold a grudge. 844 00:57:30,195 --> 00:57:33,675 Speaker 1: She was forever defending him. I think she liked him 845 00:57:33,715 --> 00:57:39,035 Speaker 1: because he wasn't well. He's not strong, she would say, pityingly, 846 00:57:40,115 --> 00:57:43,515 Speaker 1: but that was inaccurate. He may not have been well, 847 00:57:43,795 --> 00:57:48,475 Speaker 1: but he was terribly strong. One time my mother went 848 00:57:48,515 --> 00:57:51,595 Speaker 1: to the Chittenden Hotel to call on a woman mental 849 00:57:51,715 --> 00:57:54,755 Speaker 1: healer who was lecturing in Columbus on the subject of 850 00:57:55,035 --> 00:57:58,915 Speaker 1: harmonious vibrations. She wanted to find out if it was 851 00:57:58,955 --> 00:58:03,435 Speaker 1: possible to get harmonious vibrations into a dog. He's a large, 852 00:58:03,555 --> 00:58:08,275 Speaker 1: tan colored airale, mother explained. The woman said that she 853 00:58:08,355 --> 00:58:11,435 Speaker 1: had never treated a dog, but she advised my mother 854 00:58:11,515 --> 00:58:14,715 Speaker 1: to hold the thought that he did not bite and 855 00:58:14,835 --> 00:58:18,435 Speaker 1: would not bite. Mother was holding the thought the very 856 00:58:18,475 --> 00:58:21,795 Speaker 1: next morning when Muggs got the iceman, but she blamed 857 00:58:21,795 --> 00:58:24,555 Speaker 1: that slip up on the iceman. If you didn't think 858 00:58:24,635 --> 00:58:28,515 Speaker 1: he would bite you, he wouldn't, Mother told him. He 859 00:58:28,555 --> 00:58:31,995 Speaker 1: stomped out of the house in a terrible jangle of vibrations. 860 00:58:33,835 --> 00:58:36,875 Speaker 1: One morning, when Mugs bit me slightly more or less 861 00:58:36,875 --> 00:58:39,755 Speaker 1: in passing, I reached down and grabbed his short, stumpy 862 00:58:39,835 --> 00:58:43,675 Speaker 1: tail and hoisted him into the air. It was a 863 00:58:43,955 --> 00:58:46,795 Speaker 1: foolhardy thing to do, and the last time I saw 864 00:58:46,835 --> 00:58:49,235 Speaker 1: my mother, about six months ago, she said she didn't 865 00:58:49,275 --> 00:58:53,035 Speaker 1: know what possessed me. I don't either, except that I 866 00:58:53,075 --> 00:58:56,075 Speaker 1: was pretty mad. As long as I held the dog 867 00:58:56,155 --> 00:58:58,435 Speaker 1: off the floor by his tail, he couldn't get at me. 868 00:58:58,595 --> 00:59:01,675 Speaker 1: But he twisted and jerked so snarling all the time 869 00:59:01,795 --> 00:59:05,515 Speaker 1: that I realized I couldn't hold him that way very long. 870 00:59:06,555 --> 00:59:08,915 Speaker 1: I carried him into the kitchen and flung him onto 871 00:59:08,915 --> 00:59:10,875 Speaker 1: the floor and shut the door on him just as 872 00:59:10,875 --> 00:59:15,435 Speaker 1: he crashed against it. But I forgot about the backstairs. 873 00:59:16,395 --> 00:59:19,835 Speaker 1: Mugs went up the backstairs and down the front stairs 874 00:59:19,835 --> 00:59:23,235 Speaker 1: and had me cornered in the living room. I managed 875 00:59:23,275 --> 00:59:25,635 Speaker 1: to get up out of the mantelpiece above the fireplace, 876 00:59:25,675 --> 00:59:29,715 Speaker 1: but it gave way and came down with a tremendous crash, 877 00:59:29,755 --> 00:59:34,155 Speaker 1: throwing a large marble clock, several vases, and myself heavily 878 00:59:34,235 --> 00:59:38,835 Speaker 1: to the floor. Mugs was so alarmed by the racket 879 00:59:38,835 --> 00:59:41,595 Speaker 1: that when I picked myself up, he had disappeared. We 880 00:59:41,595 --> 00:59:45,715 Speaker 1: couldn't find him anywhere, although we whistled and shouted until 881 00:59:45,835 --> 00:59:50,355 Speaker 1: old Missus Dettweiler called after dinner that night. Mugs had 882 00:59:50,395 --> 00:59:52,955 Speaker 1: bitten her once in the leg, and she came into 883 00:59:52,995 --> 00:59:55,515 Speaker 1: the living room only after we assured her that Mugs 884 00:59:55,515 --> 00:59:59,635 Speaker 1: had run away. She had just seated herself when with 885 00:59:59,835 --> 01:00:05,035 Speaker 1: great growling and scratching of claws, Mugs emerged from under 886 01:00:05,035 --> 01:00:08,235 Speaker 1: a davenport where he had been quietly hiding all the 887 01:00:08,315 --> 01:00:13,875 Speaker 1: time and bit her again. Mother examined the bite and 888 01:00:13,915 --> 01:00:16,435 Speaker 1: put arnica on it and told Missus Dettwiler that it 889 01:00:16,475 --> 01:00:20,115 Speaker 1: was only a bruise. He just bumped you, she said. 890 01:00:21,075 --> 01:00:24,475 Speaker 1: But Missus Dettwiler left our house in a nasty state 891 01:00:24,515 --> 01:00:29,075 Speaker 1: of mind. Lots of people reported our airdale to the police, 892 01:00:29,115 --> 01:00:31,555 Speaker 1: but my father held a municipal office at the time 893 01:00:31,595 --> 01:00:34,555 Speaker 1: and was on friendly terms with the police. Even so, 894 01:00:35,275 --> 01:00:37,755 Speaker 1: the cops had been out a couple of times, once 895 01:00:37,835 --> 01:00:41,675 Speaker 1: when Mugs bit missus rufus sturtevent and again when he 896 01:00:41,755 --> 01:00:45,435 Speaker 1: bit Lieutenant Governor Molloy. But Mother told him it hadn't 897 01:00:45,435 --> 01:00:47,555 Speaker 1: been Muggs's fault, but the fault of the people who 898 01:00:47,555 --> 01:00:52,115 Speaker 1: were bitten. When he starts for them, they scream, she explained, 899 01:00:52,715 --> 01:00:56,355 Speaker 1: and that excites him. The cops suggested that it might 900 01:00:56,395 --> 01:00:58,315 Speaker 1: be a good idea to tie the dog up, but 901 01:00:58,355 --> 01:01:01,235 Speaker 1: Mother said that it mortified him to be tied up, 902 01:01:01,235 --> 01:01:03,595 Speaker 1: and that he wouldn't eat when he was tied up. 903 01:01:05,035 --> 01:01:07,995 Speaker 1: Mugs at his meals was an unusual sight because of 904 01:01:08,035 --> 01:01:10,795 Speaker 1: the fact that if you reached toward the floor he 905 01:01:10,835 --> 01:01:15,035 Speaker 1: would bite you. We usually put his food plate on 906 01:01:15,115 --> 01:01:17,875 Speaker 1: top of an old kitchen table with a bench alongside 907 01:01:17,875 --> 01:01:21,275 Speaker 1: the table. Mugs would stand on the bench and eat. 908 01:01:21,875 --> 01:01:25,275 Speaker 1: I remember that my mother's uncle, Horatio, who boasted that 909 01:01:25,315 --> 01:01:30,435 Speaker 1: he was the third man up Missionary Ridge, was flutteringly 910 01:01:30,555 --> 01:01:32,875 Speaker 1: indignant when he found out that we fed the dog 911 01:01:32,955 --> 01:01:35,675 Speaker 1: on a table because we were afraid to put his 912 01:01:35,875 --> 01:01:38,635 Speaker 1: plate on the floor. He said he wasn't afraid of 913 01:01:38,675 --> 01:01:40,675 Speaker 1: any dog that ever lived, and that he would put 914 01:01:40,715 --> 01:01:42,435 Speaker 1: the dog's plate on the floor if we would give 915 01:01:42,435 --> 01:01:45,875 Speaker 1: it to him. Roy said that If Uncle Horatio had 916 01:01:45,875 --> 01:01:48,555 Speaker 1: fed Mugs on the ground just before the battle, he 917 01:01:48,595 --> 01:01:52,475 Speaker 1: would have been the first man up Missionary ridge. Uncle 918 01:01:52,515 --> 01:01:58,595 Speaker 1: Horatio was furious. Ray amen, bray amen, now, he shouted, 919 01:01:58,915 --> 01:02:04,555 Speaker 1: I'll feed them on the floor. Roy was all forgiving 920 01:02:04,715 --> 01:02:06,635 Speaker 1: him a chance. But my father wouldn't hear of it. 921 01:02:06,755 --> 01:02:09,715 Speaker 1: He said that Mugs had already been fed. I'll feed 922 01:02:09,795 --> 01:02:15,035 Speaker 1: them again, bawled Uncle Horatio. We had quite a time 923 01:02:15,155 --> 01:02:19,795 Speaker 1: quieting him. In his last year, Muggs used to spend 924 01:02:19,835 --> 01:02:23,315 Speaker 1: practically all of his time outdoors. He didn't like to 925 01:02:23,315 --> 01:02:25,555 Speaker 1: stay in the house for some reason or other. Perhaps 926 01:02:25,555 --> 01:02:29,195 Speaker 1: it held too many unpleasant memories for him. Anyway, it 927 01:02:29,235 --> 01:02:30,915 Speaker 1: was hard to get him to come in, and as 928 01:02:30,955 --> 01:02:33,555 Speaker 1: a result, the garbage man, the iceman, and the laundryman 929 01:02:33,795 --> 01:02:37,275 Speaker 1: would not come near our house. We had to haul 930 01:02:37,315 --> 01:02:40,075 Speaker 1: the garbage down to the corner, take the laundry out, 931 01:02:40,075 --> 01:02:42,355 Speaker 1: and bring it back and meet the iceman a block 932 01:02:42,395 --> 01:02:45,955 Speaker 1: from home. After this had gone on for some time, 933 01:02:45,995 --> 01:02:48,915 Speaker 1: we hit on an ingenious arrangement for getting the dog 934 01:02:48,995 --> 01:02:51,315 Speaker 1: in the house so that we could lock him up 935 01:02:51,355 --> 01:02:55,715 Speaker 1: while the gas meter was red and so on. Mugs 936 01:02:55,955 --> 01:03:04,035 Speaker 1: was afraid of only one thing, an electrical storm thunder 937 01:03:04,155 --> 01:03:07,875 Speaker 1: and light ning frightened him out of his senses. I 938 01:03:08,035 --> 01:03:10,755 Speaker 1: think he thought a storm had broken. The day the 939 01:03:10,795 --> 01:03:14,395 Speaker 1: mantelpiece fell, he would rush into the house and hide 940 01:03:14,475 --> 01:03:17,595 Speaker 1: under a bed or in a clothes closet. So we 941 01:03:17,715 --> 01:03:20,755 Speaker 1: fixed up a thunder machine out of a long, narrow 942 01:03:20,795 --> 01:03:23,395 Speaker 1: piece of sheet iron with a wooden handle on one end. 943 01:03:24,195 --> 01:03:27,115 Speaker 1: Mother would shake this vigorously when she wanted to get 944 01:03:27,195 --> 01:03:30,475 Speaker 1: Mugs into the house. It made an excellent imitation of thunder. 945 01:03:30,635 --> 01:03:33,315 Speaker 1: But I suppose it was the most roundabout system for 946 01:03:33,395 --> 01:03:37,075 Speaker 1: running a household that was ever devised. It took a 947 01:03:37,115 --> 01:03:41,155 Speaker 1: lot out of mother. A few months before Mugs died, 948 01:03:41,235 --> 01:03:46,755 Speaker 1: he got to seeing things. He would rise slowly from 949 01:03:46,835 --> 01:03:52,755 Speaker 1: the floor, growling low and stalk, stiff legged and menacing 950 01:03:52,955 --> 01:03:58,675 Speaker 1: toward nothing at all. Sometimes the thing would be just 951 01:03:58,755 --> 01:04:01,875 Speaker 1: a little to the right or left of a visitor. 952 01:04:01,995 --> 01:04:06,915 Speaker 1: Once a fuller brush salesman got hysterecks, Muggs came wandering 953 01:04:06,995 --> 01:04:10,035 Speaker 1: into the room like Hamlet, following his father's ghosts. His 954 01:04:10,115 --> 01:04:12,875 Speaker 1: eyes were fixed on a spot just to the left 955 01:04:12,955 --> 01:04:15,995 Speaker 1: of the fuller brush man, who stood it until Muggs 956 01:04:16,075 --> 01:04:20,915 Speaker 1: was about three. Slow creeping paces from him. Then he shouted. 957 01:04:22,075 --> 01:04:25,555 Speaker 1: Mugs wavered on past him into the hallway, grumbling to himself, 958 01:04:25,555 --> 01:04:28,315 Speaker 1: but the fuller man went on shouting. I think Mother 959 01:04:28,355 --> 01:04:30,635 Speaker 1: had to throw a pan of cold water on him 960 01:04:30,675 --> 01:04:33,395 Speaker 1: before he stopped. That was the way she used to 961 01:04:33,395 --> 01:04:37,555 Speaker 1: stop us boys when we got into fights. Muggs died 962 01:04:37,675 --> 01:04:41,035 Speaker 1: quite suddenly one night. Mother wanted to bury him in 963 01:04:41,075 --> 01:04:43,675 Speaker 1: the family lot under a marble stone with some such 964 01:04:43,755 --> 01:04:47,115 Speaker 1: inscription as flights of angels sing thee to thy rest, 965 01:04:47,675 --> 01:04:51,515 Speaker 1: but we persuaded her it was against the law. In 966 01:04:51,595 --> 01:04:53,755 Speaker 1: the end we just put up a smooth board above 967 01:04:53,755 --> 01:04:57,475 Speaker 1: his grave along a lonely road. On the board I 968 01:04:57,515 --> 01:05:03,795 Speaker 1: wrote with an indelible pencil, tave Kanum. Mother was quite 969 01:05:03,835 --> 01:05:07,835 Speaker 1: pleased with this sim classic dignity of the old Latin 970 01:05:07,875 --> 01:05:28,235 Speaker 1: epitaph The Dog that Bit People by James Thurber. I've 971 01:05:28,235 --> 01:05:29,955 Speaker 1: done all the damage I can do here. Thank you 972 01:05:29,995 --> 01:05:32,315 Speaker 1: for listening. The music you heard was, for the most 973 01:05:32,315 --> 01:05:35,915 Speaker 1: part arrange produced and performed by Countdown musical directors Brian 974 01:05:35,995 --> 01:05:39,275 Speaker 1: Ray and John Phillip Schanelle. Brian Ray handled the guitars, 975 01:05:39,275 --> 01:05:41,875 Speaker 1: bass and drums. John Phillip Shaneil did the orchestration, in 976 01:05:41,955 --> 01:05:45,595 Speaker 1: keyboards and it was produced by Tko Brothers. Other music, 977 01:05:45,675 --> 01:05:50,635 Speaker 1: including other Beethoven tunes, was arranged and performed by No 978 01:05:50,755 --> 01:05:54,875 Speaker 1: Horns Aloud. Sports music Will Played Again Someday is courtesy 979 01:05:54,875 --> 01:05:57,115 Speaker 1: of ESPN, Inc. And it was written by Mitch Warren Davis. 980 01:05:57,115 --> 01:05:59,995 Speaker 1: We call it the Olderman theme from ESPN two. Our 981 01:06:00,115 --> 01:06:03,075 Speaker 1: satirical and pithy musical comments are by Nancy Fauss, the 982 01:06:03,075 --> 01:06:06,355 Speaker 1: best baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer today was my 983 01:06:06,475 --> 01:06:10,435 Speaker 1: friend Larry David. Everything else pretty much my fault. So 984 01:06:10,475 --> 01:06:12,635 Speaker 1: that's countdown for this, the nine hundred and ninetieth day 985 01:06:12,675 --> 01:06:16,035 Speaker 1: since Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected 986 01:06:16,035 --> 01:06:19,875 Speaker 1: government of the United States. Convict him now before he 987 01:06:19,995 --> 01:06:23,595 Speaker 1: declares you an enemy alien, and while we still can. 988 01:06:24,275 --> 01:06:27,075 Speaker 1: The next scheduled countdown is Tuesday. Bulletin says the news 989 01:06:27,115 --> 01:06:30,595 Speaker 1: warrant still then on Keith Alderman, Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, 990 01:06:31,115 --> 01:06:43,835 Speaker 1: and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production 991 01:06:44,075 --> 01:06:49,355 Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, 992 01:06:49,435 --> 01:06:52,835 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.