WEBVTT - Why Do I Run From Relationships?

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you. Hey, hey, I do part two. It's your

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<v Speaker 1>celebrity mentor, Kelly Ben Simone. And I'm here with one

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<v Speaker 1>of my favorite mentors from The Golden Bachelorette. It's Joan Vassos. Hi.

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<v Speaker 2>It's been too long.

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<v Speaker 1>They were going to chat a little bit about the

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<v Speaker 1>sit-down convo that Jaina had this week with Shana Mochler,

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<v Speaker 1>and it was a good one. If you haven't listened

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<v Speaker 1>to that episode yet, pause right now, go listen to

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<v Speaker 1>that episode, and then come back right here. Let's get started.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so excited to see you. And I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>see you in New York City on October, I think

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<v Speaker 2>it's the 6th, for the Page Six Reality Awards.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, great.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm presenting the award to you guys.

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<v Speaker 1>No.

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<v Speaker 2>To the Golden Life.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that. I'm so excited. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So we have to get together and you have to

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<v Speaker 2>tell me what you're wearing because I have no idea

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<v Speaker 2>what to wear to this thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my God. We will definitely have a debrief and

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<v Speaker 1>you have to come over. We have drinks and do

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<v Speaker 1>all sorts of fun stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>I would love to. I'm coming the day before.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my God. Okay, great.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay. It's a date. It's a date. Okay. Let's get,

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<v Speaker 2>let's start talking.

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<v Speaker 1>So the trailer just came out today. Did you see

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<v Speaker 1>it yet?

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<v Speaker 2>I did.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm obsessed.

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<v Speaker 2>I've watched it like four times and I'm worried that

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<v Speaker 2>some of the girls may have been mean to you.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I just think it's so funny.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, excuse me.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to have.

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<v Speaker 2>To come and beat them up.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm kind of very polite, you know, but they don't

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<v Speaker 1>like that.

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<v Speaker 2>You are like the nicest. Okay, so you're the nicest person,

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<v Speaker 2>but I also want to say you're like the nicest

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<v Speaker 2>pretty person because a lot of times really beautiful women

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<v Speaker 2>aren't nice to other women. And you are always so

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<v Speaker 2>incredibly kind. You like break that mold and you give

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<v Speaker 2>me faith in like women and that they can be

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<v Speaker 2>nice to each other. And I worry about you when

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<v Speaker 2>you're amongst other women that I don't think maybe are

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<v Speaker 2>as nice as you are.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, Joe, you're so, well, I mean, we're having a

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<v Speaker 1>really good time and I think you're going to be

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<v Speaker 1>surprised by some of the things that happened and happens

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<v Speaker 1>and happened, but you're, I mean, you're going to love it. Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Just, just humor me for a second. Cause I'm really

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<v Speaker 2>obsessed with the show. Give me three words that you

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<v Speaker 2>would use to describe the golden life.

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<v Speaker 1>Spirited. Okay. Adventurous. Yeah. Heartfelt.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm intrigued. I was intrigued already.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>I was already going to watch it, but now I'm

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<v Speaker 2>really going to watch. So Adventurous is probably the one

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<v Speaker 2>that I like the most about that one. So I'm

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<v Speaker 2>dying to see what kind of adventures they have you

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<v Speaker 2>guys on, because I think maybe at this age in

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<v Speaker 2>our lives, I know I'm a little older than you,

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<v Speaker 2>but some of the people that you're on the show

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<v Speaker 2>with are my age. We don't care as much about

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<v Speaker 2>what people think about us, so maybe we're a little

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<v Speaker 2>more adventurous than we were when we were younger.

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<v Speaker 1>Which I love. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Perfect.

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<v Speaker 1>Were you familiar with Shana Moakler or Travis Barker before

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<v Speaker 1>you heard this episode?

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<v Speaker 2>So I remember them from like long ago. So, I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>she's been in the news a ton and so is he.

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<v Speaker 2>She's had like a lot of really kind of big relationships.

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<v Speaker 2>She's been with a lot of men that are well-known.

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<v Speaker 2>She's had babies with them. So I remember her, but

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<v Speaker 2>she had kind of faded from my radar a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think that there's been anything super recent about

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<v Speaker 2>And now she's kind of back in the news a

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<v Speaker 2>little bit. So it's fun.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know what?

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<v Speaker 2>I always loved her. She has quite a style and

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<v Speaker 2>she's had quite a history. And she's been on TV

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<v Speaker 2>and she's bottled. And she's kind of gotten around. So

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<v Speaker 2>she's an interesting lady. I like that she's back in

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<v Speaker 2>the news.

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<v Speaker 1>How about you?

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<v Speaker 2>Did you remember her?

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<v Speaker 1>So, yeah, I remember her. But I also remember her

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<v Speaker 1>from the show. And I was just reintroduced to her

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<v Speaker 1>by Shaina. And I just... We have so many questions,

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<v Speaker 1>but my first thought out of the gate was just

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<v Speaker 1>how knowledgeable she is about menopause.

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<v Speaker 2>I know. I had no idea about this whole part

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<v Speaker 2>of her life that she had this whole kind of

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<v Speaker 2>interest in this medical background and supporting women and even

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<v Speaker 2>supporting men in like a medical journey. And she seems

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<v Speaker 2>so incredibly bright. And I love that when these beautiful

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<v Speaker 2>women are also super smart. and pour their heart into

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<v Speaker 2>something like that can help us.

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<v Speaker 1>I think so too. And just, you know, her sharing

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<v Speaker 1>her stories and Jenna sharing her story, you know, that

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<v Speaker 1>just the more information that we can get out there about,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, the iterations of menopause. I mean, my mother

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<v Speaker 1>had a personal note. My mother had really, really bad

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<v Speaker 1>menopause and I was always so scared. And she, as

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<v Speaker 1>a result from bad menopause, she had severe migraines. And

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<v Speaker 1>so my upbringing- Me too, by the way. Oh my God.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my God.

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<v Speaker 2>I had one yesterday.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry. And I just remember a young girl, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>in my, not young girl, but I was in my

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<v Speaker 1>early teens. And I just could, would be like really, really,

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<v Speaker 1>really excited and really jacked up. And then nothing. You

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<v Speaker 1>couldn't talk to her for days. Yeah. She just couldn't

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<v Speaker 1>go or, and it was just terrible as a young

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<v Speaker 1>girl because, you know, I'm like, mommy, like what's wrong

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<v Speaker 1>with my mom? Yeah. And I had this perfect picture

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<v Speaker 1>of her because she was the perfect mom until her

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<v Speaker 1>menopause and her migraines really took over and just were debilitating.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think people get how these hormones surging through

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<v Speaker 2>our bodies and how much impact they have on us.

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<v Speaker 2>So I had migraines starting when I went through puberty.

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<v Speaker 2>I got my first migraine when I was 13 years old,

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<v Speaker 2>and I've had them ever since. And they certainly, whenever

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<v Speaker 2>there's like a weird surge in hormones. So I have

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<v Speaker 2>four kids. When I was pregnant with my second daughter,

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<v Speaker 2>or my second child, my first daughter, I had terrible

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<v Speaker 2>migraines through that entire pregnancy and had to actually quit

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<v Speaker 2>my work. I couldn't work. I got them every day.

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<v Speaker 2>So like these hormones that she is really investigating and

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<v Speaker 2>spending a lot of time finding remedies for, we used

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<v Speaker 2>to just have to power through them. Like your mom

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<v Speaker 2>had to power through it. I remember- coming down into

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<v Speaker 2>the kitchen when I was maybe in middle school, and

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<v Speaker 2>my mom would have her head in the freezer. And

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, Mom, what are you doing? She's like, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>having a hot flash, and she'd be doing this with

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<v Speaker 2>her bathrobe, and she'd have her head in the freezer,

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<v Speaker 2>or she'd be walking outside in bare feet in the

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<v Speaker 2>middle of winter, trying to cool down. I don't think

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<v Speaker 2>people understand how severe these hormone-related, like all the things that, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>they're awful. They cause migraines, and the hot flashes are horrible.

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<v Speaker 2>Sleeping is hard. I am so thrilled that There is

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<v Speaker 2>a person that you can turn to and.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, hair loss. Like just. It happened as well. Sorry.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have to do. No, no, no.

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<v Speaker 2>You were right. I, there are so many other things

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<v Speaker 2>I wasn't even thinking about, but you're like the hair loss.

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<v Speaker 2>Like how hard is that for a woman? Your hair

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<v Speaker 2>is part of your identity. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>But I mean, just the migraines. I'm so sorry that

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<v Speaker 1>you go through that and that you went through that.

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<v Speaker 1>Remember as a young girl, like just being like, what's

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<v Speaker 1>wrong with my mom. Not understanding and not knowing and.

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<v Speaker 1>even if she was like, oh, my period or whatever,

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<v Speaker 1>that didn't resonate. I had no idea. I was like, oh, okay.

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<v Speaker 2>We don't know. And terrible cramps and all that. Men

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<v Speaker 2>have it so much easier. They have no idea the

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<v Speaker 2>things that we have to deal with like once a month.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so happy I'm done with the whole darn thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I know.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a lot easier.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll get them. But I just was like, I just

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<v Speaker 1>was very, very, very impressed by her knowledge. Just to

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<v Speaker 1>your point. I was like, whoa. I was like, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>this is a podcast. Let's get started.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we dove right into that. And I had no

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<v Speaker 2>idea that she had this passion and was doing that.

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<v Speaker 2>We should probably tell people the name of her website

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<v Speaker 2>or the name of her organization. Oh, yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>What's it called?

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<v Speaker 2>Hello Foxy. F-O-X-I, I believe. So it's with an I

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<v Speaker 2>at the end because I did look it up the

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<v Speaker 2>wrong way. And it provides so many services. And I mean, really, honestly, really,

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<v Speaker 2>really good. And like, you know, good for her. She's

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<v Speaker 2>branching out.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that. I love that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that was interesting.

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<v Speaker 1>So what do you think about Shana sharing that she

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<v Speaker 1>and Travis did a nesting situation after the divorce with

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<v Speaker 1>their kids?

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<v Speaker 2>So, so interesting. I've heard of that. Have you heard

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<v Speaker 2>of that arrangement before? People doing that?

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<v Speaker 1>I have. I'm Midwest. We don't have nesting.

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<v Speaker 2>You're divorced, you leave, and you move on. You move on.

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<v Speaker 2>I've never known anybody who has done it, but I

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<v Speaker 2>have heard of it before. And I thought, what a

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<v Speaker 2>wonderful thing to do for your kids if you can

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<v Speaker 2>do it. Because how hard would it be? First of all,

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<v Speaker 2>kids are probably going through the worst thing in their lives.

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<v Speaker 2>Their parents are separating. They never imagined this was going

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<v Speaker 2>to happen. You picture your life being perfect. You think

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<v Speaker 2>you're always going to have both your parents. And all

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<v Speaker 2>of a sudden, they're not going to be together anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>But they're allowing you to stay in your home with

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<v Speaker 2>your kids, your friends down the street. walking to your

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<v Speaker 2>same bus stop, you know, in your same bed at night.

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<v Speaker 2>I think that's such, you know, during that really hard

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<v Speaker 2>year or two, if you can, you know, keep this

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<v Speaker 2>going and allowing them, you know, the comforts of home,

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<v Speaker 2>it's amazing. But can you imagine sharing a home with

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<v Speaker 2>somebody that maybe you're not having an amicable divorce with?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, this is a pod, but if you saw

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<v Speaker 1>my eyes right now, you would be like, whoa. And

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<v Speaker 1>I've had a lot of Botox, but I'm telling you,

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<v Speaker 1>my eyes are powerful.

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<v Speaker 2>I can see expression. Hardly any, but a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm with you. You can't see it in mine either.

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, I'm appalled too.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, I mean, I agree with you. I

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<v Speaker 1>think it's beautiful. I just don't understand. I mean, if

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<v Speaker 1>you're going to get divorced, there's so many other things

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<v Speaker 1>that are associated. I just couldn't. see the person. I

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<v Speaker 1>love my kids more than anything. I would do it

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<v Speaker 1>for them. I just wouldn't be able to have someone

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<v Speaker 1>that I needed to separate from permanently nesting in my house.

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<v Speaker 1>I'd be like, nest elsewhere.

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<v Speaker 2>I do feel like it's a very unique situation, which

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<v Speaker 2>is probably why we don't hear it very much. Shana

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<v Speaker 2>clearly had a really amicable divorce or separation with, um,

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<v Speaker 2>with her ex and was able to maintain like a,

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<v Speaker 2>cause I mean, you're not doing the kids any good

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<v Speaker 2>if you're coming together and then fighting. So, um, but you,

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<v Speaker 2>you got to imagine that maybe for some people has

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<v Speaker 2>to do with money, that it's too hard to maintain

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<v Speaker 2>different residences, or maybe they have to separate and sell

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<v Speaker 2>the main home so they can actually separate. So, you know,

0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:53.900
<v Speaker 2>I think there's a lot of things that play into it.

0:10:54.020 --> 0:10:56.979
<v Speaker 2>Money certainly is one of the things, but being, you know, having,

0:10:57.340 --> 0:10:59.500
<v Speaker 2>you can't, I can't imagine you, you know, having that

0:10:59.520 --> 0:11:02.050
<v Speaker 2>kind of situation with somebody that you are really actively

0:11:02.070 --> 0:11:04.929
<v Speaker 2>still fighting with or arguing with or having, you know,

0:11:05.030 --> 0:11:07.510
<v Speaker 2>problems with the separation or the divorce or the agreement or,

0:11:07.870 --> 0:11:09.750
<v Speaker 2>you know, how you're splitting the kids or the money

0:11:09.830 --> 0:11:13.110
<v Speaker 2>or whatever. I could see any kind of turmoil will

0:11:13.130 --> 0:11:15.369
<v Speaker 2>just be exasperated if you're coming to the house and

0:11:15.390 --> 0:11:16.950
<v Speaker 2>they left the kitchen messy and didn't do the laundry.

0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:18.460
<v Speaker 1>I mean, that's a trigger for me.

0:11:18.820 --> 0:11:19.540
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, me too.

0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:24.800
<v Speaker 1>So Joan, so my husband, my ex-husband is French and

0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:28.620
<v Speaker 1>we just put up a wall between the two apartments

0:11:28.820 --> 0:11:31.910
<v Speaker 1>because he traveled so much. The girls could see him

0:11:32.410 --> 0:11:36.250
<v Speaker 1>when he came home, but he was not in the apartment.

0:11:36.670 --> 0:11:38.470
<v Speaker 1>And it actually worked out really well for the kids

0:11:38.490 --> 0:11:41.730
<v Speaker 1>because they didn't feel, they were like, daddy's home. They

0:11:41.750 --> 0:11:43.350
<v Speaker 1>would go see him, have some blueberries and come home.

0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:47.920
<v Speaker 2>That was, you had the perfect divorce situation. I think

0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:50.660
<v Speaker 2>you may be the only person in the entire world. No,

0:11:50.740 --> 0:11:53.180
<v Speaker 2>I actually know one other person whose father bought the

0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:55.800
<v Speaker 2>house next door to them. And so they used to

0:11:55.850 --> 0:11:58.430
<v Speaker 2>go back and forth, but you have like the perfect

0:11:58.450 --> 0:12:00.710
<v Speaker 2>divorce situation, but I can't imagine most people being able

0:12:00.730 --> 0:12:02.670
<v Speaker 2>to afford that, have two houses next door to each other.

0:12:03.150 --> 0:12:06.550
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I just was, I, you know, he just traveled

0:12:06.590 --> 0:12:10.209
<v Speaker 1>and I understood the assignment. I, you know, I knew

0:12:10.250 --> 0:12:12.229
<v Speaker 1>that he needed to be in their lives, but I

0:12:12.309 --> 0:12:15.860
<v Speaker 1>also knew that I needed to have, Control. And privacy. Yeah.

0:12:15.980 --> 0:12:16.440
<v Speaker 1>And control.

0:12:16.820 --> 0:12:17.060
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:12:17.679 --> 0:12:21.820
<v Speaker 1>I was going to say privacy, but control. Even more. Yeah.

0:12:22.220 --> 0:12:22.840
<v Speaker 1>All of the above.

0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:25.459
<v Speaker 2>And I can imagine that you didn't have to have

0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:31.380
<v Speaker 2>a really strict agreement about custody because they kind of

0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:33.190
<v Speaker 2>lived with you, it sounds like, and then visited him.

0:12:33.850 --> 0:12:37.450
<v Speaker 1>Right. I just said to him, I said, just love

0:12:37.470 --> 0:12:39.470
<v Speaker 1>the girls and everything's fine. That's it.

0:12:39.490 --> 0:12:40.390
<v Speaker 2>Spend as much time as you can.

0:12:40.530 --> 0:12:43.770
<v Speaker 1>Yes. And there was no expectations, so there was nothing

0:12:43.790 --> 0:12:44.929
<v Speaker 1>to manage. Yeah.

0:12:45.270 --> 0:12:45.550
<v Speaker 2>Perfect.

0:12:45.610 --> 0:12:47.670
<v Speaker 1>Does that make sense? Do you mean like, I was like,

0:12:47.770 --> 0:12:49.810
<v Speaker 1>I've got the girls, like my dad's like, okay, the

0:12:49.850 --> 0:12:51.550
<v Speaker 1>girls are going on a ski trip. Let's go pack

0:12:51.570 --> 0:12:51.890
<v Speaker 1>them up.

0:12:52.530 --> 0:12:54.850
<v Speaker 2>So did, do they, are they still really close with

0:12:54.870 --> 0:12:55.250
<v Speaker 2>their father?

0:12:55.710 --> 0:12:56.410
<v Speaker 1>Yes. Very.

0:12:57.010 --> 0:12:58.650
<v Speaker 2>And does he still live in New York city or

0:12:58.670 --> 0:12:59.210
<v Speaker 2>has he moved?

0:12:59.410 --> 0:13:01.230
<v Speaker 1>He lives in New York and in Venice, but I

0:13:01.290 --> 0:13:03.569
<v Speaker 1>think the reason that he is close to them and

0:13:03.610 --> 0:13:07.329
<v Speaker 1>he's older is because there was, he didn't have any expectations.

0:13:07.390 --> 0:13:10.770
<v Speaker 1>He didn't have, he just was like, you know, just

0:13:10.850 --> 0:13:13.510
<v Speaker 1>go live your life and just, you know, be a good,

0:13:13.650 --> 0:13:16.949
<v Speaker 1>be a good, parent when you can. Yeah, good. I mean,

0:13:16.970 --> 0:13:18.809
<v Speaker 1>be a good father. Don't parent my kids. I'll parent

0:13:18.850 --> 0:13:21.860
<v Speaker 1>my kids. Did I say that out loud?

0:13:22.980 --> 0:13:23.650
<v Speaker 2>Nope, I didn't hear it.

0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:24.800
<v Speaker 1>Oh, nope.

0:13:25.260 --> 0:13:27.200
<v Speaker 2>What happens on I Do Part Two stays on I

0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:27.800
<v Speaker 2>Do Part Two.

0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:28.559
<v Speaker 1>Exactly.

0:13:39.170 --> 0:13:41.770
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I have to ask you about, I loved the

0:13:41.830 --> 0:13:44.630
<v Speaker 2>conversation that the two of them had about both Jana

0:13:44.750 --> 0:13:49.530
<v Speaker 2>and Shana expressed regrets from their past relationships. And so

0:13:49.550 --> 0:13:52.150
<v Speaker 2>Jana said, first of all, that even though she tried

0:13:52.550 --> 0:13:54.850
<v Speaker 2>her hardest in her marriage, she wishes that she would

0:13:54.870 --> 0:13:57.030
<v Speaker 2>have left sooner. And Shana kind of said the same thing,

0:13:57.080 --> 0:14:00.559
<v Speaker 2>that she wishes she hadn't accepted this abusive treatment that

0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:03.620
<v Speaker 2>she had in a previous relationship, not in her marriage,

0:14:03.660 --> 0:14:04.780
<v Speaker 2>but in a previous relationship.

0:14:05.460 --> 0:14:05.680
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:14:06.210 --> 0:14:09.340
<v Speaker 2>Do you have any regrets from a past relationship that

0:14:09.380 --> 0:14:12.340
<v Speaker 2>you let it go on for way too long? Or

0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:15.219
<v Speaker 2>do you think every relationship we have is part of

0:14:15.260 --> 0:14:15.880
<v Speaker 2>the learning curve?

0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:22.020
<v Speaker 1>And of course. I mean, my ex-husband got divorced. And

0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:24.950
<v Speaker 1>then I met a guy that was younger than me,

0:14:24.950 --> 0:14:27.930
<v Speaker 1>10 years younger. And he was not the ideal human.

0:14:27.950 --> 0:14:33.570
<v Speaker 1>And You know, it just was not exactly, you know,

0:14:33.610 --> 0:14:35.690
<v Speaker 1>how I wanted it to be. And so we would

0:14:35.710 --> 0:14:37.370
<v Speaker 1>break up and then we'd get back together and we'd

0:14:37.390 --> 0:14:43.170
<v Speaker 1>break up. And, you know, at the time, too, in

0:14:43.250 --> 0:14:45.970
<v Speaker 1>my defense, I was working. I was, you know, the

0:14:46.110 --> 0:14:49.410
<v Speaker 1>editor of three magazines. Like, I was writing books. I

0:14:49.430 --> 0:14:52.250
<v Speaker 1>had two young girls. And I just had so much

0:14:52.390 --> 0:14:56.100
<v Speaker 1>on my plate that, you know, I kind of just

0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:58.790
<v Speaker 1>let something– I kind of, like, let it go on.

0:14:59.390 --> 0:15:02.380
<v Speaker 1>And didn't take control of it. And that was my fault.

0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:04.500
<v Speaker 1>And I should have been the bigger person and said,

0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:07.840
<v Speaker 1>this is not working out. We're never doing this again.

0:15:07.860 --> 0:15:12.300
<v Speaker 1>But because I was so busy, I just kind of

0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:15.450
<v Speaker 1>let things slide that shouldn't have. And so I empathize

0:15:15.530 --> 0:15:18.010
<v Speaker 1>with her a lot. I mean, with Shana a lot.

0:15:18.090 --> 0:15:22.650
<v Speaker 1>Because things just happen. You know, just life just happens.

0:15:22.710 --> 0:15:25.410
<v Speaker 1>I know that sounds so cliche, but it just does. And,

0:15:26.580 --> 0:15:30.290
<v Speaker 1>you know, it's so easy. For us to say now, wow,

0:15:31.620 --> 0:15:34.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, we should have done this. We should have

0:15:34.060 --> 0:15:36.530
<v Speaker 1>done that. But when you're in the middle of it,

0:15:36.790 --> 0:15:39.090
<v Speaker 1>you're not thinking like that. You're like, oh, my God,

0:15:39.130 --> 0:15:43.650
<v Speaker 1>my kids, my life. You know, I wasn't thinking about, like, relationship.

0:15:43.670 --> 0:15:45.660
<v Speaker 1>I was just thinking about my kids and making money

0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:50.680
<v Speaker 1>and just making sure that they had everything. Yeah. So–

0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:52.540
<v Speaker 1>it's just, you know, we're in a different time now.

0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:53.500
<v Speaker 1>You know what I mean? I do.

0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:55.220
<v Speaker 2>I feel like it's so much easier. I feel like

0:15:55.300 --> 0:15:59.119
<v Speaker 2>for me, I would stay in relationships longer than I

0:15:59.180 --> 0:16:01.479
<v Speaker 2>should have because I thought, is this as good as

0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:04.440
<v Speaker 2>it gets? Like, like even if I'm not a hundred

0:16:04.460 --> 0:16:07.560
<v Speaker 2>percent happy, maybe if I'm 75% happy, I may never

0:16:07.620 --> 0:16:10.180
<v Speaker 2>find this much happy again. So I should just stay

0:16:10.220 --> 0:16:13.040
<v Speaker 2>in this because it's good enough. It's not bad. I'm like,

0:16:13.070 --> 0:16:15.350
<v Speaker 2>I was never in an abusive relationship, but it was

0:16:15.370 --> 0:16:17.550
<v Speaker 2>also in a relationship that maybe wasn't like so love

0:16:17.590 --> 0:16:20.670
<v Speaker 2>filled or so like exciting or, Like I knew that

0:16:20.730 --> 0:16:24.550
<v Speaker 2>there were red flags, maybe the way we resolve conflict or,

0:16:24.570 --> 0:16:27.730
<v Speaker 2>you know, whatever it was. I stayed in too long

0:16:27.750 --> 0:16:29.460
<v Speaker 2>because I just thought maybe this is all there is

0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:31.000
<v Speaker 2>and I'm not going to find anything better.

0:16:31.020 --> 0:16:35.640
<v Speaker 1>I mean, that's just so honest. And I just, I really,

0:16:35.740 --> 0:16:38.480
<v Speaker 1>really respect you being open about that. And I think

0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:40.560
<v Speaker 1>that's something that's natural. And I think that's something that

0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:44.050
<v Speaker 1>happens all the time. I think that women just kind

0:16:44.090 --> 0:16:47.490
<v Speaker 1>of feel like there are so many single women. That,

0:16:47.590 --> 0:16:50.790
<v Speaker 1>you know, are trying to find love and, you know,

0:16:50.830 --> 0:16:54.650
<v Speaker 1>myself included. And, you know, when I meet someone, I

0:16:55.250 --> 0:16:57.870
<v Speaker 1>just think to myself, oh, my God, is he going

0:16:57.890 --> 0:17:01.110
<v Speaker 1>to be the person? I'm literally like, is this the person?

0:17:01.310 --> 0:17:01.970
<v Speaker 1>Is this the person?

0:17:02.250 --> 0:17:02.530
<v Speaker 2>I know.

0:17:02.890 --> 0:17:06.560
<v Speaker 1>Instead of just allowing the relationship to, you know. Unfold.

0:17:06.619 --> 0:17:09.520
<v Speaker 1>Evolve and unfold. I mean, who knows? Maybe I should

0:17:09.540 --> 0:17:12.100
<v Speaker 1>go on the Golden Bachelorette. You should.

0:17:12.500 --> 0:17:13.660
<v Speaker 2>Boy, would they love to have you.

0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:14.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't think.

0:17:15.380 --> 0:17:17.850
<v Speaker 2>Honestly, Kelly, there is not a guy good enough out

0:17:17.890 --> 0:17:19.830
<v Speaker 2>there for you that we're going to have on the show.

0:17:20.470 --> 0:17:21.230
<v Speaker 1>They have a hard.

0:17:21.050 --> 0:17:23.550
<v Speaker 2>Time finding men to be on the show, to be

0:17:23.609 --> 0:17:27.750
<v Speaker 2>honest with you. And the older men, younger men, they

0:17:27.790 --> 0:17:29.950
<v Speaker 2>have a whole slew of them that want to be

0:17:29.970 --> 0:17:32.820
<v Speaker 2>on the show because they see fame. Older men don't

0:17:32.859 --> 0:17:35.220
<v Speaker 2>see fame. They see, oh, why am I going to

0:17:35.260 --> 0:17:36.560
<v Speaker 2>do this to my life? Why am I going to

0:17:36.600 --> 0:17:38.959
<v Speaker 2>embarrass myself? Why am I going to do this? I

0:17:39.420 --> 0:17:41.540
<v Speaker 2>can just sit at home and watch football with my buddies.

0:17:41.640 --> 0:17:44.909
<v Speaker 2>And I don't think they care as much about finding men.

0:17:45.460 --> 0:17:48.500
<v Speaker 2>like they're chapter two as we do. Right. I, I

0:17:48.619 --> 0:17:52.550
<v Speaker 2>missed being a couple. I missed having my person. I

0:17:52.630 --> 0:17:56.350
<v Speaker 2>missed having couple friends and I don't think guys care

0:17:56.390 --> 0:18:00.630
<v Speaker 2>as much. They're just as happy having their guy friends going,

0:18:00.670 --> 0:18:03.180
<v Speaker 2>playing golf and watching football on the weekends where we're

0:18:03.220 --> 0:18:05.880
<v Speaker 2>looking for, like, we like our couple relationships. We like

0:18:05.900 --> 0:18:08.520
<v Speaker 2>going with other couples and I don't think guys care

0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:08.900
<v Speaker 2>as much.

0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:13.040
<v Speaker 1>Right. It's interesting because my last boyfriend, he had this

0:18:13.100 --> 0:18:15.620
<v Speaker 1>amazing friend group. And so we would spend so much

0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:19.870
<v Speaker 1>time together. And the wives and the girlfriends, we all

0:18:19.910 --> 0:18:23.990
<v Speaker 1>became so close and had so much fun. And as

0:18:24.090 --> 0:18:28.510
<v Speaker 1>much as I kind of mourn that relationship, I really,

0:18:28.550 --> 0:18:31.310
<v Speaker 1>really mourn the friendships. I was like, I was loving it.

0:18:31.310 --> 0:18:32.890
<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh my God, where are my girls?

0:18:33.150 --> 0:18:35.550
<v Speaker 2>I've had that before. Or you love their kids or

0:18:35.590 --> 0:18:37.030
<v Speaker 2>you love some other part of their life.

0:18:37.550 --> 0:18:40.340
<v Speaker 1>And I loved his kids. And we were having... the

0:18:40.380 --> 0:18:44.970
<v Speaker 1>best time. Literally, I was having so much fun. Okay.

0:18:44.990 --> 0:18:47.750
<v Speaker 2>So I did listen to your podcast with Susan and Kathy,

0:18:48.210 --> 0:18:50.609
<v Speaker 2>but I feel like maybe not everybody that's listening to

0:18:50.650 --> 0:18:53.120
<v Speaker 2>this podcast listened to that. So will you just tell

0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:55.440
<v Speaker 2>the listeners a little bit about what happened there? Because

0:18:55.460 --> 0:18:58.000
<v Speaker 2>I heard and it broke my heart, but I feel

0:18:58.020 --> 0:18:59.960
<v Speaker 2>like you did the right thing. But can you just

0:19:00.000 --> 0:19:01.260
<v Speaker 2>maybe give us a quick synopsis?

0:19:01.780 --> 0:19:04.699
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's terrible because I had a breast cancer

0:19:04.740 --> 0:19:08.240
<v Speaker 1>scare and you know, in his defense, he didn't really,

0:19:08.260 --> 0:19:10.790
<v Speaker 1>I was, I didn't articulate it. I didn't say I'm

0:19:10.830 --> 0:19:13.149
<v Speaker 1>having a breast cancer scare. Something's really wrong with me.

0:19:13.190 --> 0:19:14.669
<v Speaker 1>I need to take care of it. I said, oh,

0:19:14.710 --> 0:19:17.490
<v Speaker 1>you know, just a little something. Cause I, I had

0:19:17.650 --> 0:19:20.310
<v Speaker 1>only known him for a couple of months and, you know,

0:19:20.330 --> 0:19:24.110
<v Speaker 1>I just didn't feel like I could put that kind

0:19:24.150 --> 0:19:27.800
<v Speaker 1>of responsibility on him. And then I knew I was

0:19:27.840 --> 0:19:29.950
<v Speaker 1>going on the show. So I was like, first of all,

0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:31.580
<v Speaker 1>I had this breast cancer scare and I was having,

0:19:31.680 --> 0:19:35.040
<v Speaker 1>I was literally like, when you have a scare like that, Joan,

0:19:37.080 --> 0:19:40.639
<v Speaker 1>The idea that I would not be able to– I'm

0:19:40.660 --> 0:19:43.350
<v Speaker 1>not going to cry, like literally. Yeah. The idea that

0:19:43.410 --> 0:19:44.669
<v Speaker 1>I was not going to be there for my kids

0:19:44.830 --> 0:19:47.830
<v Speaker 1>after I've done everything for my kids, put every single

0:19:47.910 --> 0:19:49.850
<v Speaker 1>cent that I've earned into their brain so they're going

0:19:49.869 --> 0:19:51.460
<v Speaker 1>to be the most, there can be the most amazing

0:19:51.520 --> 0:19:54.560
<v Speaker 1>children in the world. Yeah. Now that I wasn't going

0:19:54.580 --> 0:19:56.260
<v Speaker 1>to be there. I just was like, Oh my God.

0:19:56.500 --> 0:19:56.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh my God.

0:19:57.300 --> 0:19:57.480
<v Speaker 2>No.

0:19:57.500 --> 0:20:01.550
<v Speaker 1>Like it really, really, really hit me. Terrifying. And it's

0:20:01.609 --> 0:20:04.730
<v Speaker 1>not his responsibility. It isn't. I just really rubbed me

0:20:04.750 --> 0:20:07.850
<v Speaker 1>the wrong way. And then when I knew I was

0:20:07.890 --> 0:20:10.710
<v Speaker 1>going on the show, I just was like, I can't

0:20:10.750 --> 0:20:13.100
<v Speaker 1>go on a television show with someone that I, that

0:20:13.150 --> 0:20:15.900
<v Speaker 1>is not going to be a forever person. Yeah. And that,

0:20:16.420 --> 0:20:19.379
<v Speaker 1>that sign. And actually that was the most mature thing

0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:20.800
<v Speaker 1>that I've done in a really long time.

0:20:21.460 --> 0:20:23.600
<v Speaker 2>And it would have really changed your interactions with the

0:20:23.640 --> 0:20:25.680
<v Speaker 2>women on the show, because I think everybody else on

0:20:25.700 --> 0:20:26.520
<v Speaker 2>that show is single, right?

0:20:26.800 --> 0:20:29.879
<v Speaker 1>Right. Except for Luann. It would have been right. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

0:20:29.940 --> 0:20:32.230
<v Speaker 2>So I think it would have changed your interaction. So

0:20:32.609 --> 0:20:34.830
<v Speaker 2>like in the long run for like the health of

0:20:34.850 --> 0:20:36.690
<v Speaker 2>the show or for the health of you and you

0:20:36.770 --> 0:20:39.870
<v Speaker 2>maintaining your, you know, your normal persona. Like, I feel

0:20:39.890 --> 0:20:42.030
<v Speaker 2>like you probably did the right thing, but I love

0:20:42.050 --> 0:20:45.070
<v Speaker 2>that you just said it wasn't his responsibility. And I

0:20:45.109 --> 0:20:47.399
<v Speaker 2>think as women, we don't want to be dependent. Like

0:20:47.440 --> 0:20:49.280
<v Speaker 2>we don't want to seem like dependents. We want to

0:20:49.320 --> 0:20:51.679
<v Speaker 2>seem really independent and like, I'm going to, I can

0:20:51.700 --> 0:20:53.240
<v Speaker 2>take care of my own and I don't need you

0:20:53.260 --> 0:20:56.310
<v Speaker 2>to help me. And, but you were really vulnerable and

0:20:56.680 --> 0:20:59.170
<v Speaker 2>we don't feel comfortable being vulnerable. And that's right.

0:20:59.470 --> 0:21:02.620
<v Speaker 1>Right. Right. You know, again, like I know I always

0:21:02.660 --> 0:21:05.200
<v Speaker 1>say this, but I am from the Midwest and we're

0:21:05.240 --> 0:21:07.940
<v Speaker 1>just like, we just are take care of thing kind

0:21:07.960 --> 0:21:13.760
<v Speaker 1>of personalities. And in New York, it's like, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. &lt;HAL&gt; &lt;HAL&gt; &lt;HAL&gt; &lt;HAL&gt; &lt;HAL&gt; &lt;HAL&gt; &lt;HAL&gt; &lt;HAL&gt; &lt;HAL&gt; &lt;HAL&gt; &lt;HAL&gt;

0:21:13.880 --> 0:21:15.810
<v Speaker 1>And it's just like, I'm just not raised like that.

0:21:16.400 --> 0:21:19.479
<v Speaker 1>And so, and he's, and I'm not talking, saying that

0:21:19.570 --> 0:21:21.670
<v Speaker 1>he is, but most of my friends were like, oh

0:21:21.690 --> 0:21:24.330
<v Speaker 1>my God, you didn't go. And I was like, first

0:21:24.350 --> 0:21:26.090
<v Speaker 1>of all, like, I don't even understand what you're saying.

0:21:26.109 --> 0:21:30.670
<v Speaker 1>You're speaking so quickly. And I am like freaking out inside.

0:21:30.730 --> 0:21:33.670
<v Speaker 1>So can you turn down the volume on your concern?

0:21:33.690 --> 0:21:37.130
<v Speaker 1>And please just let me try to get through this.

0:21:37.150 --> 0:21:38.020
<v Speaker 1>There'd be a.

0:21:38.020 --> 0:21:38.700
<v Speaker 2>Text, please.

0:21:38.720 --> 0:21:43.600
<v Speaker 1>It's just a different way of, you know, honestly, it's

0:21:43.869 --> 0:21:47.159
<v Speaker 1>just a different upbringing. And So, I mean, you know, I,

0:21:47.350 --> 0:21:50.010
<v Speaker 1>I really, he's such a great guy and he is,

0:21:50.030 --> 0:21:52.229
<v Speaker 1>I mean, whoever gets to go out with him is

0:21:52.369 --> 0:21:55.450
<v Speaker 1>like so lucky because he's such a stellar human. I really, really,

0:21:55.490 --> 0:21:56.250
<v Speaker 1>really believe that.

0:21:56.369 --> 0:21:58.050
<v Speaker 2>Do you think there's ever going to be a chapter

0:21:58.070 --> 0:21:58.710
<v Speaker 2>two for you guys?

0:21:59.170 --> 0:22:01.169
<v Speaker 1>You know, I don't, I don't know. I mean, I

0:22:01.210 --> 0:22:03.430
<v Speaker 1>really don't know. I need to get through the show

0:22:03.869 --> 0:22:06.469
<v Speaker 1>and kind of just see where I am and when

0:22:06.490 --> 0:22:09.590
<v Speaker 1>the show, after the show finishes. And, you know, I just,

0:22:09.650 --> 0:22:12.480
<v Speaker 1>it's funny that you said that because like today I,

0:22:13.560 --> 0:22:16.320
<v Speaker 1>On my run, I was like, I just want to

0:22:16.359 --> 0:22:19.730
<v Speaker 1>give myself some grace, Joan. I've just been through so much.

0:22:19.810 --> 0:22:24.010
<v Speaker 1>The show is really exciting, but it's also very, very difficult.

0:22:24.690 --> 0:22:26.970
<v Speaker 1>And I just want to give myself a little grace.

0:22:27.270 --> 0:22:31.130
<v Speaker 1>And I think when I'm in that mode, the person

0:22:31.170 --> 0:22:33.679
<v Speaker 1>will be around for me at that time. Do you

0:22:33.700 --> 0:22:35.139
<v Speaker 1>know what I mean? I don't want to meet someone

0:22:35.180 --> 0:22:39.040
<v Speaker 1>right now. I'm like... I'm filming. The volume doesn't work.

0:22:39.080 --> 0:22:42.840
<v Speaker 2>You know, I have to fight with some real housewives.

0:22:43.200 --> 0:22:49.350
<v Speaker 2>I have an argument to have on camera. Dorinda hates

0:22:49.369 --> 0:22:49.770
<v Speaker 2>me right now.

0:22:50.810 --> 0:22:53.369
<v Speaker 1>And so, you know, I just want to just give

0:22:53.410 --> 0:22:55.090
<v Speaker 1>myself some grace and we'll, you know, we'll see what

0:22:55.130 --> 0:22:57.470
<v Speaker 1>happens after the, after the show.

0:22:57.910 --> 0:23:02.070
<v Speaker 2>So much about relationships are about finding the right person

0:23:02.150 --> 0:23:03.990
<v Speaker 2>at the right time. I mean, I think we've all

0:23:04.030 --> 0:23:06.560
<v Speaker 2>found the right person at the wrong time. And we've

0:23:06.640 --> 0:23:09.380
<v Speaker 2>all found the wrong person at the right time. Like

0:23:09.460 --> 0:23:12.190
<v Speaker 2>getting the timing perfectly with the right person is really,

0:23:12.210 --> 0:23:13.810
<v Speaker 2>really hard. He was just like the right.

0:23:13.670 --> 0:23:16.230
<v Speaker 1>Person at the wrong time. Yeah. He just was the

0:23:16.250 --> 0:23:20.949
<v Speaker 1>wrong time. So you never, you never, you never know. Yeah.

0:23:21.190 --> 0:23:24.470
<v Speaker 1>I'm just trying to like stay like in my own,

0:23:24.520 --> 0:23:28.460
<v Speaker 1>my personal, like personal, personal self bubble. I'm just trying

0:23:28.500 --> 0:23:34.140
<v Speaker 1>to stay like true to myself. And you never know. Yeah. Yeah.

0:23:34.160 --> 0:23:35.030
<v Speaker 1>You have to be seeing.

0:23:35.190 --> 0:23:37.790
<v Speaker 2>Well, I'm so glad that your breast cancer scare is over.

0:23:37.810 --> 0:23:38.750
<v Speaker 1>Thank you.

0:23:39.890 --> 0:23:41.350
<v Speaker 2>I wish you'd let me know. I would have flown

0:23:41.369 --> 0:23:44.229
<v Speaker 2>there and like snuggled down with pink fuzzy slippers with

0:23:44.270 --> 0:23:45.310
<v Speaker 2>you and gotten you through that.

0:23:45.690 --> 0:23:48.790
<v Speaker 1>Well, I was in LA with you. I had to

0:23:48.830 --> 0:23:52.000
<v Speaker 1>go on steroids because I was like such a mess

0:23:52.119 --> 0:23:54.320
<v Speaker 1>to come to LA. And I wanted to go to LA.

0:23:54.320 --> 0:24:00.490
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna not live. Yeah. Wow.

0:24:00.750 --> 0:24:01.550
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry, sweetie.

0:24:01.790 --> 0:24:03.580
<v Speaker 1>No, no, no. I mean, it's one of those things too.

0:24:03.619 --> 0:24:05.560
<v Speaker 1>You can't, you know, what are you going to do?

0:24:05.600 --> 0:24:06.940
<v Speaker 1>Be like, hey, Joan.

0:24:07.000 --> 0:24:09.000
<v Speaker 2>I'd have something like, well, I just, I had a

0:24:09.380 --> 0:24:13.419
<v Speaker 2>thyroid cancer scared. So I was coming off. So I

0:24:13.440 --> 0:24:15.659
<v Speaker 2>was going on to gold. I was going to be

0:24:15.680 --> 0:24:19.600
<v Speaker 2>gold in a bachelorette. And I had like a physical.

0:24:19.640 --> 0:24:21.220
<v Speaker 2>They make you to have a physical, which they should.

0:24:21.680 --> 0:24:24.810
<v Speaker 2>So I had a physical and had blood drawn. And

0:24:25.090 --> 0:24:29.130
<v Speaker 2>my thyroid hormone was really off, like really off. So

0:24:29.190 --> 0:24:31.310
<v Speaker 2>my doctor said, well, we don't have time to like

0:24:31.470 --> 0:24:33.250
<v Speaker 2>do scans and do all the tests we need to do.

0:24:33.750 --> 0:24:36.149
<v Speaker 2>You know, it'll be fine. Take care of it when

0:24:36.170 --> 0:24:38.670
<v Speaker 2>you get back. So now I am worried the entire,

0:24:38.710 --> 0:24:40.300
<v Speaker 2>so of course I Google it immediately. And it says,

0:24:40.700 --> 0:24:43.260
<v Speaker 2>if you're the, you know, numbers above like eight and

0:24:43.300 --> 0:24:47.320
<v Speaker 2>mine was like 12.5, you likely have thyroid cancer. And

0:24:47.359 --> 0:24:48.980
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh my God. So I was like

0:24:49.320 --> 0:24:52.210
<v Speaker 2>brewing in my head the entire time I'm filming golden bachelorette.

0:24:52.310 --> 0:24:54.290
<v Speaker 2>I have this in my mind that I have thyroid cancer.

0:24:54.930 --> 0:24:57.570
<v Speaker 2>And so I get home and I have to do

0:24:57.770 --> 0:25:00.250
<v Speaker 2>press really soon after that. So there's only like a

0:25:00.510 --> 0:25:05.139
<v Speaker 2>month turnaround between you finish filming and the show comes out. So,

0:25:05.320 --> 0:25:06.500
<v Speaker 2>and when the show comes out the week, the show

0:25:06.540 --> 0:25:07.879
<v Speaker 2>comes out, you do all of your press in New

0:25:07.900 --> 0:25:12.020
<v Speaker 2>York city. So I am, I go and get a, um,

0:25:12.640 --> 0:25:16.120
<v Speaker 2>a sonogram of my thyroid and they do another blood

0:25:16.140 --> 0:25:20.130
<v Speaker 2>test and I'm waiting for the results and I'm thinking, okay, well,

0:25:20.170 --> 0:25:21.639
<v Speaker 2>so I got to figure out how I'm going to

0:25:21.660 --> 0:25:23.060
<v Speaker 2>do this. I'm going to probably have to have surgery

0:25:23.080 --> 0:25:24.550
<v Speaker 2>and then probably have to remove my thyroid. And I've

0:25:24.570 --> 0:25:26.909
<v Speaker 2>read all about it and it's, you know, somewhat curable

0:25:26.990 --> 0:25:28.830
<v Speaker 2>and like I could be okay, but I'm just like

0:25:29.030 --> 0:25:30.330
<v Speaker 2>going through this whole thing. And, but I'm like, I

0:25:30.369 --> 0:25:31.649
<v Speaker 2>don't want this to be my story. I don't want

0:25:31.690 --> 0:25:34.030
<v Speaker 2>cancer to be my story coming off of the golden bachelorette.

0:25:34.050 --> 0:25:35.970
<v Speaker 2>That's all they'll talk about if that's what happened. So

0:25:35.990 --> 0:25:37.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to keep it a secret and I'm going

0:25:37.780 --> 0:25:40.180
<v Speaker 2>to wear all high dresses. So I have this whole

0:25:40.260 --> 0:25:41.760
<v Speaker 2>idea of how I'm going to get through like the

0:25:41.800 --> 0:25:45.899
<v Speaker 2>next four months without anybody knowing that I have thyroid cancer. Well,

0:25:45.920 --> 0:25:47.439
<v Speaker 2>it comes out that I just have nodules on my

0:25:47.480 --> 0:25:49.310
<v Speaker 2>thyroid and I just have to have them checked every year.

0:25:49.680 --> 0:25:51.560
<v Speaker 2>And they're fine. And they could turn into something, but

0:25:52.100 --> 0:25:54.689
<v Speaker 2>very likely won't. So, but it was like, I was

0:25:54.710 --> 0:25:56.869
<v Speaker 2>scared for like three months. I was just, I was

0:25:56.890 --> 0:25:58.690
<v Speaker 2>sick to my stomach. Every time I thought about it,

0:25:58.690 --> 0:26:00.790
<v Speaker 2>I had like a panic attack. I mean, of course.

0:26:01.130 --> 0:26:03.590
<v Speaker 1>But I love that you're so like organized, trying to

0:26:03.630 --> 0:26:05.340
<v Speaker 1>figure out what the turtleneck. I'm like.

0:26:05.430 --> 0:26:07.820
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to wear high neck dresses, like sleeveless. They're

0:26:07.840 --> 0:26:09.220
<v Speaker 2>going to be really pretty, but I'm going to have

0:26:09.240 --> 0:26:11.159
<v Speaker 2>this big scar here that I'm at the hide.

0:26:11.840 --> 0:26:12.600
<v Speaker 1>Right. Yep.

0:26:13.220 --> 0:26:14.740
<v Speaker 2>It was all about the dresses. I know.

0:26:14.760 --> 0:26:16.679
<v Speaker 1>Oh my God. I mean, that's so stressful too when

0:26:16.700 --> 0:26:19.300
<v Speaker 1>you're filming and you're like looking for love and trying

0:26:19.320 --> 0:26:21.240
<v Speaker 1>to be vulnerable and be open.

0:26:21.280 --> 0:26:23.869
<v Speaker 2>And just trying to keep pushing that back, pushing that back.

0:26:24.720 --> 0:26:26.669
<v Speaker 1>Oh my God.

0:26:26.710 --> 0:26:28.590
<v Speaker 2>I didn't tell a soul. I told no one.

0:26:29.230 --> 0:26:32.409
<v Speaker 1>Oh my God. So I have a really interesting question.

0:26:32.869 --> 0:26:35.369
<v Speaker 1>How have you gone about introducing men to your children

0:26:35.390 --> 0:26:36.050
<v Speaker 1>while you were dating?

0:26:46.380 --> 0:26:50.119
<v Speaker 2>So I think it's a little easier. I was married

0:26:50.160 --> 0:26:53.180
<v Speaker 2>for 32 years. I was with John for 36. And

0:26:53.770 --> 0:26:54.650
<v Speaker 2>my kids were grown.

0:26:54.670 --> 0:26:55.710
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:26:55.970 --> 0:27:00.010
<v Speaker 2>John passed away. So my youngest was 25. My oldest

0:27:00.030 --> 0:27:01.820
<v Speaker 2>was 31. So I have four kids. So between 25

0:27:01.820 --> 0:27:05.060
<v Speaker 2>and 31. So, like, introducing them, it wasn't like I

0:27:05.100 --> 0:27:07.619
<v Speaker 2>was saying, like, here is potentially a new person in

0:27:07.640 --> 0:27:08.959
<v Speaker 2>your life that you're going to have to live with

0:27:08.980 --> 0:27:10.660
<v Speaker 2>or that's going to act like a father to you

0:27:10.770 --> 0:27:14.210
<v Speaker 2>or going to be, like, some, like, in some capacity, like,

0:27:14.330 --> 0:27:16.290
<v Speaker 2>affecting their lives that much. They had all moved out

0:27:16.310 --> 0:27:18.910
<v Speaker 2>of my home and they all had lives of their own.

0:27:18.970 --> 0:27:20.370
<v Speaker 2>Some of them, one of my, two of my kids

0:27:20.390 --> 0:27:24.740
<v Speaker 2>had kids of their own already. So, really, after John died,

0:27:24.780 --> 0:27:27.720
<v Speaker 2>my kids were all, you know, kind of grown. And

0:27:27.760 --> 0:27:29.560
<v Speaker 2>by the time chalk came into their life, they were

0:27:29.600 --> 0:27:32.030
<v Speaker 2>even out of my house. So I don't think it

0:27:32.070 --> 0:27:33.790
<v Speaker 2>was super hard for me. And they wanted me to

0:27:33.830 --> 0:27:37.250
<v Speaker 2>find somebody. They were really open to me finding somebody.

0:27:37.430 --> 0:27:40.250
<v Speaker 2>I introduced them only to like two men. And I'd

0:27:40.270 --> 0:27:41.629
<v Speaker 2>be like, oh, like Frank's going to come over and

0:27:41.650 --> 0:27:43.820
<v Speaker 2>watch a game, like the football game with us. And,

0:27:44.300 --> 0:27:47.780
<v Speaker 2>you know, so that was okay. It was more uncomfortable

0:27:47.859 --> 0:27:53.320
<v Speaker 2>for me to introduce men to my mother-in-law. I'm still very,

0:27:53.440 --> 0:27:56.480
<v Speaker 2>very close to my mother-in-law. I see her several times

0:27:56.540 --> 0:27:59.300
<v Speaker 2>a week. She lives very close to me. she babysits

0:27:59.340 --> 0:28:01.440
<v Speaker 2>one of my grandkids twice a week. You know, she,

0:28:01.540 --> 0:28:04.330
<v Speaker 2>I'm very, very, very close to my mother-in-law and that

0:28:04.390 --> 0:28:07.709
<v Speaker 2>was actually more comfortable, uncomfortable for me to introduce her

0:28:07.750 --> 0:28:10.870
<v Speaker 2>to somebody. And she was always, couldn't have been any nicer,

0:28:10.930 --> 0:28:12.609
<v Speaker 2>very welcoming, but that was hard for me.

0:28:12.950 --> 0:28:16.070
<v Speaker 1>How about you? Um, you know, so when I, when my,

0:28:16.090 --> 0:28:17.570
<v Speaker 1>you know, my kids were very, very young when I

0:28:17.609 --> 0:28:20.490
<v Speaker 1>got divorced, they were, they were five and seven. And

0:28:20.690 --> 0:28:23.820
<v Speaker 1>so again, like my ex-husband lived next door with the

0:28:23.840 --> 0:28:24.600
<v Speaker 1>wall between us.

0:28:25.400 --> 0:28:28.020
<v Speaker 2>Um, so The Great Wall of China. The Great Wall

0:28:28.040 --> 0:28:28.580
<v Speaker 2>of New York.

0:28:28.900 --> 0:28:33.990
<v Speaker 1>And because I was working in magazines and I didn't

0:28:34.030 --> 0:28:36.390
<v Speaker 1>have to always be in the office. I just went

0:28:36.430 --> 0:28:39.410
<v Speaker 1>to the office for certain things. But most of the

0:28:39.450 --> 0:28:41.890
<v Speaker 1>things I was doing was writing and people would come

0:28:41.910 --> 0:28:43.650
<v Speaker 1>and meet me. The photographers would come meet me. The

0:28:43.670 --> 0:28:46.120
<v Speaker 1>stylists would come meet me because I had young kids.

0:28:46.760 --> 0:28:52.480
<v Speaker 1>And so there was always people around, always. And if

0:28:53.360 --> 0:28:54.640
<v Speaker 1>there was someone that I was going on a date

0:28:54.660 --> 0:28:57.020
<v Speaker 1>with and they would see them They'd be like, hi,

0:28:57.060 --> 0:28:59.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, whatever. They wouldn't even flinch. They never even,

0:28:59.540 --> 0:29:01.980
<v Speaker 1>they never were even like, who are you dating? Who's

0:29:02.000 --> 0:29:02.719
<v Speaker 1>that person?

0:29:02.780 --> 0:29:05.550
<v Speaker 2>Like. It could have been a work colleague. They didn't know.

0:29:05.590 --> 0:29:07.890
<v Speaker 2>They didn't differentiate between the people coming in and out.

0:29:08.390 --> 0:29:09.050
<v Speaker 2>So that was easy.

0:29:09.090 --> 0:29:11.850
<v Speaker 1>Okay. It was a lot easier for me. And, you know,

0:29:11.870 --> 0:29:14.030
<v Speaker 1>I mean, there was, you know, there weren't that many

0:29:14.130 --> 0:29:16.670
<v Speaker 1>guys that I would bring into my family home. Clearly.

0:29:16.690 --> 0:29:19.030
<v Speaker 2>How about when they were teenagers? I'm guessing at that

0:29:19.070 --> 0:29:20.890
<v Speaker 2>point they may have noticed things a little different, like

0:29:20.910 --> 0:29:23.270
<v Speaker 2>the way you acted to people in your home.

0:29:23.830 --> 0:29:26.510
<v Speaker 1>But still, they didn't, I never said anything. And there

0:29:26.530 --> 0:29:27.950
<v Speaker 1>was just so many people all the time. I mean,

0:29:27.970 --> 0:29:29.810
<v Speaker 1>I'm talking like a lot of people and a lot

0:29:29.830 --> 0:29:33.370
<v Speaker 1>of gay men were always around me. And so they

0:29:33.410 --> 0:29:37.490
<v Speaker 1>just never, they just didn't, you know, unless there was

0:29:37.510 --> 0:29:39.390
<v Speaker 1>like a special friend, I would say like this is

0:29:39.410 --> 0:29:41.130
<v Speaker 1>a special friend. that's what my therapist told me to

0:29:41.170 --> 0:29:42.880
<v Speaker 1>do so you know that's what i would say and

0:29:42.890 --> 0:29:44.900
<v Speaker 1>they'd be like what is the special friend and i was.

0:29:44.820 --> 0:29:47.380
<v Speaker 2>Like we're not gonna go into details yeah exactly.

0:29:49.730 --> 0:29:52.470
<v Speaker 1>Right. So, but I think it's, I think it's all,

0:29:52.530 --> 0:29:55.150
<v Speaker 1>it's very subjective. You know, it's like, like you were saying,

0:29:55.210 --> 0:29:57.980
<v Speaker 1>like your kids were okay, but your mother-in-law, which I

0:29:58.020 --> 0:29:59.820
<v Speaker 1>love so much that you guys are so close. That's

0:29:59.840 --> 0:30:02.880
<v Speaker 1>so beautiful. But I think that, you know, if you're like,

0:30:03.640 --> 0:30:06.160
<v Speaker 1>you know, if you're living in a house and you're

0:30:06.200 --> 0:30:09.760
<v Speaker 1>living in like Illinois where I'm from and you know,

0:30:09.780 --> 0:30:12.330
<v Speaker 1>a guy comes over, it's obvious when you're living in

0:30:12.350 --> 0:30:14.209
<v Speaker 1>New York city and you work from home and all

0:30:14.250 --> 0:30:16.490
<v Speaker 1>these people are coming into your house, it's not as obvious.

0:30:16.670 --> 0:30:18.210
<v Speaker 2>So you and I kind of had it easy, really.

0:30:18.850 --> 0:30:22.450
<v Speaker 2>We didn't have that awkward, this is a man that

0:30:22.520 --> 0:30:25.580
<v Speaker 2>is special to me in my life now. And you're

0:30:25.600 --> 0:30:27.180
<v Speaker 2>going to have to like him, or I hope you're

0:30:27.200 --> 0:30:27.700
<v Speaker 2>going to like him.

0:30:28.480 --> 0:30:30.220
<v Speaker 1>And by the way, I mean, this is an awful

0:30:30.240 --> 0:30:33.180
<v Speaker 1>thing to say, but even the guys that I did date,

0:30:33.320 --> 0:30:35.040
<v Speaker 1>even if they were the best guys in the world,

0:30:35.820 --> 0:30:37.790
<v Speaker 1>I was so laser focused on making money for my

0:30:37.830 --> 0:30:43.150
<v Speaker 1>kids that even if they were unbelievably fantastic, my focus

0:30:43.190 --> 0:30:45.790
<v Speaker 1>was making money for my children. And they were second,

0:30:46.010 --> 0:30:48.030
<v Speaker 1>and they knew it. Well, you know what?

0:30:48.050 --> 0:30:49.410
<v Speaker 2>I'm not sure if that ever changes.

0:30:49.470 --> 0:30:51.500
<v Speaker 1>It's hard for a man. It's hard. It's hard for

0:30:51.660 --> 0:30:52.180
<v Speaker 1>a man to be.

0:30:52.960 --> 0:30:55.240
<v Speaker 2>I have to be completely honest about that. I'm not

0:30:55.340 --> 0:30:59.000
<v Speaker 2>sure my focus, a man will ever be come before

0:30:59.040 --> 0:31:02.020
<v Speaker 2>my kids, no matter what I, and my kids are grown.

0:31:02.500 --> 0:31:06.150
<v Speaker 2>Like my, my oldest is 36 and my youngest is

0:31:06.150 --> 0:31:08.670
<v Speaker 2>30 and my kids will always be number one. Cause

0:31:08.690 --> 0:31:10.890
<v Speaker 2>you know what? You only get one mom. I could

0:31:10.910 --> 0:31:13.690
<v Speaker 2>probably have a million men or maybe not. Maybe I'll

0:31:13.710 --> 0:31:17.209
<v Speaker 2>never have another man again, whatever. Um, but yeah, My

0:31:17.250 --> 0:31:20.130
<v Speaker 2>kids only ever have me as their mother and that

0:31:20.150 --> 0:31:23.090
<v Speaker 2>will always be my number one position in life is

0:31:23.130 --> 0:31:23.510
<v Speaker 2>their mother.

0:31:24.410 --> 0:31:27.770
<v Speaker 1>And I love that. And I think that's like a beautiful, beautiful,

0:31:27.790 --> 0:31:29.430
<v Speaker 1>beautiful sentiment. And I feel the same way.

0:31:29.690 --> 0:31:33.830
<v Speaker 2>You think we will find men that will think that's okay?

0:31:34.250 --> 0:31:35.469
<v Speaker 2>Like accept that position.

0:31:35.690 --> 0:31:37.450
<v Speaker 1>I think it has to be a very, very healthy man.

0:31:37.470 --> 0:31:37.540
<v Speaker 2>Yep.

0:31:38.670 --> 0:31:41.410
<v Speaker 1>Who has a lot of respect for, I mean, that's why,

0:31:41.430 --> 0:31:43.390
<v Speaker 1>you know, it's like I have all these, you know,

0:31:43.410 --> 0:31:45.840
<v Speaker 1>I have all these like parameters for these guys. They

0:31:45.950 --> 0:31:50.060
<v Speaker 1>have to be like a very healthy human, not like physically.

0:31:50.160 --> 0:31:53.820
<v Speaker 1>I'm talking mentally healthy human. Yeah, right. Because I could

0:31:53.860 --> 0:31:56.080
<v Speaker 1>not be with a man who doesn't have respect for

0:31:56.120 --> 0:31:59.080
<v Speaker 1>his ex-wife. If you talk badly about your ex-wife or

0:31:59.240 --> 0:32:03.060
<v Speaker 1>are disrespectful to them in any way possible, like that's

0:32:03.080 --> 0:32:05.440
<v Speaker 1>just not my vibe. Like I know people think it's fun.

0:32:05.760 --> 0:32:08.050
<v Speaker 1>It's not my thing. It's like you have to figure

0:32:08.090 --> 0:32:11.750
<v Speaker 1>it out. And if you can't figure it out, you know,

0:32:12.370 --> 0:32:14.270
<v Speaker 1>then that's something that you need to.

0:32:14.290 --> 0:32:15.820
<v Speaker 2>You know, you may need a therapist before you, we

0:32:15.860 --> 0:32:18.020
<v Speaker 2>get to get back together. I feel like it's a,

0:32:18.160 --> 0:32:20.040
<v Speaker 2>it's a whole, well, I feel like it's a whole

0:32:20.180 --> 0:32:23.800
<v Speaker 2>element about being a gentleman. Like my, I was raised,

0:32:23.840 --> 0:32:29.080
<v Speaker 2>my father was the ultimate gentleman. He never, he never cussed.

0:32:29.100 --> 0:32:32.050
<v Speaker 2>He never spoke poorly about really anybody. He just was

0:32:32.070 --> 0:32:35.930
<v Speaker 2>a kind human. He immigrated here from Holland. He was

0:32:35.990 --> 0:32:41.030
<v Speaker 2>just a gentleman. And I, like my, so my bar

0:32:41.090 --> 0:32:44.010
<v Speaker 2>is very high for men when it comes, we're talking

0:32:44.050 --> 0:32:46.850
<v Speaker 2>ill about people, like talking about ex-wives or talking about

0:32:46.950 --> 0:32:49.710
<v Speaker 2>previous relationships. I just don't feel like a gentleman does that.

0:32:50.130 --> 0:32:53.870
<v Speaker 2>And so like, that's, that's a, that's a problem for me.

0:32:53.870 --> 0:32:56.010
<v Speaker 2>That's a red flag for me. John does not talk

0:32:56.070 --> 0:32:59.410
<v Speaker 2>about his wife poorly. I know instances, I know why

0:32:59.470 --> 0:33:02.510
<v Speaker 2>they're divorced, but I know very few stories. I know

0:33:02.650 --> 0:33:06.150
<v Speaker 2>very little. He says, you know, I, he's, she's the

0:33:06.190 --> 0:33:08.950
<v Speaker 2>mother of my kids and, They had a healthy relationship

0:33:09.030 --> 0:33:11.630
<v Speaker 2>and now he's really good about not talking about his ex-wife.

0:33:12.670 --> 0:33:14.950
<v Speaker 1>I love that. Yeah. I love that because that makes you,

0:33:14.990 --> 0:33:17.070
<v Speaker 1>you know, I think that, I think the bottom line

0:33:17.090 --> 0:33:19.530
<v Speaker 1>to that is that like what makes a woman feel safe.

0:33:19.770 --> 0:33:26.010
<v Speaker 1>And when you're constantly talking ill about your, your ex, uh,

0:33:26.070 --> 0:33:26.910
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't make you feel safe.

0:33:27.970 --> 0:33:30.810
<v Speaker 2>It really doesn't because if he talks poorly about an

0:33:30.930 --> 0:33:33.110
<v Speaker 2>ex and he'll talk poorly about you to the next woman,

0:33:33.540 --> 0:33:34.280
<v Speaker 2>if there's an ex-woman.

0:33:34.390 --> 0:33:35.230
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Exactly.

0:33:36.100 --> 0:33:41.350
<v Speaker 2>Um, Are there instances you wish you could have done

0:33:41.490 --> 0:33:44.750
<v Speaker 2>different when it came to dating as a single parent?

0:33:45.770 --> 0:33:47.490
<v Speaker 2>Do you wish you had spent more time? You'd given

0:33:47.540 --> 0:33:49.680
<v Speaker 2>more to a guy or given less to a guy

0:33:49.760 --> 0:33:51.120
<v Speaker 2>and skip the whole thing.

0:33:51.140 --> 0:33:54.780
<v Speaker 1>You know, and like, I just, you know, I, I

0:33:54.820 --> 0:33:58.400
<v Speaker 1>just kind of said, I nodded to that about, you know,

0:33:58.440 --> 0:34:01.910
<v Speaker 1>I just was working so much and I, you know, I,

0:34:02.020 --> 0:34:05.050
<v Speaker 1>you can't, I mean, I, I was working, my impetus

0:34:05.420 --> 0:34:09.610
<v Speaker 1>was pure. Yeah. Like I was working because I was

0:34:09.950 --> 0:34:12.989
<v Speaker 1>educating brains. I was not working because I wanted a

0:34:12.989 --> 0:34:15.870
<v Speaker 1>new Chanel bag. No, no, I, no, I want not, no,

0:34:15.890 --> 0:34:20.069
<v Speaker 1>I want a new Chanel bag. No, but I'm just

0:34:20.170 --> 0:34:22.770
<v Speaker 1>being facetious. But I mean, but back then, like I

0:34:22.810 --> 0:34:25.469
<v Speaker 1>wasn't working cause I was feeling gorgeous and I was like, wow,

0:34:25.510 --> 0:34:26.989
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to work and I'm going to be this worker.

0:34:27.390 --> 0:34:30.549
<v Speaker 1>Like I was working because I was making money and

0:34:30.770 --> 0:34:34.089
<v Speaker 1>I had a motive and I knew what the end

0:34:34.110 --> 0:34:36.090
<v Speaker 1>game was. And I knew how much money I needed

0:34:36.110 --> 0:34:40.089
<v Speaker 1>to make every single semester. And I made it happen.

0:34:40.760 --> 0:34:43.560
<v Speaker 2>Do you think that you maybe wasted some of your

0:34:43.860 --> 0:34:47.200
<v Speaker 2>really good years? So like this age, it's very hard

0:34:47.219 --> 0:34:49.779
<v Speaker 2>to find a single man that we want. Do you,

0:34:50.100 --> 0:34:53.620
<v Speaker 2>but back then, like when we were younger and I

0:34:53.640 --> 0:34:56.299
<v Speaker 2>was still married. So when you were younger, Do you

0:34:56.360 --> 0:34:59.399
<v Speaker 2>think that you wasted some years where there were maybe

0:34:59.640 --> 0:35:00.799
<v Speaker 2>way more eligible men?

0:35:01.570 --> 0:35:04.550
<v Speaker 1>Yes. I mean, I really wanted to have more kids.

0:35:04.810 --> 0:35:07.189
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I thought I would have had like four

0:35:07.210 --> 0:35:10.130
<v Speaker 1>or five kids. I always wanted kids. My ex-husband was

0:35:10.210 --> 0:35:15.969
<v Speaker 1>older and he loves my girls, but he didn't want

0:35:16.010 --> 0:35:17.509
<v Speaker 1>to have a lot of kids. Yeah. And I really,

0:35:17.530 --> 0:35:24.540
<v Speaker 1>really wanted that. I think that when I was single,

0:35:25.160 --> 0:35:28.330
<v Speaker 1>I was a big model. I was an editor. So

0:35:28.570 --> 0:35:30.370
<v Speaker 1>I was like the bright and shiny toy for the

0:35:30.410 --> 0:35:33.230
<v Speaker 1>single guys in New York. And instead of seeing me

0:35:33.630 --> 0:35:36.219
<v Speaker 1>as someone that they wanted to make sure that I

0:35:36.280 --> 0:35:39.380
<v Speaker 1>was safe... they wanted to take me out to dinner

0:35:39.540 --> 0:35:40.860
<v Speaker 1>and they were like, Oh my God, look what I'm

0:35:40.900 --> 0:35:41.500
<v Speaker 1>going out with.

0:35:41.620 --> 0:35:42.760
<v Speaker 2>I was like, Oh yeah.

0:35:42.780 --> 0:35:45.860
<v Speaker 1>He's like you. I'm like, wow. Great for you.

0:35:45.890 --> 0:35:47.790
<v Speaker 2>I bet they did love being with you.

0:35:48.450 --> 0:35:51.230
<v Speaker 1>And you know, that was nice for them. But I always,

0:35:51.469 --> 0:35:53.629
<v Speaker 1>I honestly would leave dates and I just felt like

0:35:53.690 --> 0:35:56.710
<v Speaker 1>very like disappointed is not the right word. I just

0:35:56.750 --> 0:35:58.730
<v Speaker 1>was just like, why did I waste my time? I

0:35:58.750 --> 0:36:02.560
<v Speaker 1>could have been home like, you know, drinking tea, reading books,

0:36:02.600 --> 0:36:05.759
<v Speaker 1>hanging out with my kids, watching stupid movies. Yeah. Yeah.

0:36:06.650 --> 0:36:09.009
<v Speaker 1>you know, screaming at them about homework. I could have

0:36:09.030 --> 0:36:11.569
<v Speaker 1>been doing the things that I love to do. Yeah.

0:36:11.630 --> 0:36:13.210
<v Speaker 2>Because you were working all day. So you were, you

0:36:13.230 --> 0:36:14.590
<v Speaker 2>were probably tired by the end of the day. And

0:36:14.610 --> 0:36:15.989
<v Speaker 2>then to make an effort to go with a guy

0:36:16.469 --> 0:36:18.089
<v Speaker 2>and it not be great was probably like, why did

0:36:18.160 --> 0:36:18.700
<v Speaker 2>I waste my time?

0:36:19.400 --> 0:36:22.560
<v Speaker 1>Right. Yeah. I used to think to myself, why did

0:36:22.580 --> 0:36:23.940
<v Speaker 1>I just waste my time? Yeah.

0:36:24.560 --> 0:36:29.640
<v Speaker 2>So I love Shana's story when she talked about reconnecting, um,

0:36:29.840 --> 0:36:31.700
<v Speaker 2>with the guy, I'm trying to remember his name that

0:36:31.780 --> 0:36:34.850
<v Speaker 2>she was, had been in love with before. Um, And

0:36:35.030 --> 0:36:40.250
<v Speaker 2>the kind of reconnect with him throughout her dating career. Greg. Yes, Greg.

0:36:40.310 --> 0:36:41.029
<v Speaker 1>Thank you. Thank you.

0:36:41.430 --> 0:36:45.410
<v Speaker 2>And they finally, it sounds like maybe reconnected at the

0:36:45.469 --> 0:36:49.569
<v Speaker 2>right person at the right time. Would you ever go

0:36:49.850 --> 0:36:51.830
<v Speaker 2>back and visit maybe an old, old love? I know

0:36:51.870 --> 0:36:54.150
<v Speaker 2>we talked about your most recent old love and maybe

0:36:54.190 --> 0:36:57.299
<v Speaker 2>there's potential, but is there somebody lurking in the back

0:36:57.340 --> 0:37:00.160
<v Speaker 2>of your brain that you dated or you would have

0:37:00.200 --> 0:37:02.040
<v Speaker 2>liked to have dated that is still lurking there and

0:37:02.060 --> 0:37:03.580
<v Speaker 2>you'd like to maybe reconnect with?

0:37:04.340 --> 0:37:06.360
<v Speaker 1>I mean, there was one guy that I really, really

0:37:06.400 --> 0:37:08.859
<v Speaker 1>liked that my kids really liked, but he had just

0:37:08.900 --> 0:37:13.239
<v Speaker 1>gotten out of a marriage and he wasn't ready. And

0:37:14.270 --> 0:37:16.310
<v Speaker 1>his marriage didn't fare well for him, but he was

0:37:16.350 --> 0:37:19.589
<v Speaker 1>a great, great guy. And I really, really liked him.

0:37:20.450 --> 0:37:22.549
<v Speaker 1>But again, I'm also kind of, you know, it's like

0:37:23.910 --> 0:37:27.029
<v Speaker 1>I know if they're just having a good time. And

0:37:27.050 --> 0:37:28.790
<v Speaker 1>I'm just like, no, no, no, this is not the vibe. No, no, no.

0:37:28.950 --> 0:37:31.710
<v Speaker 2>Have you ever thought about like trying to find him?

0:37:32.130 --> 0:37:33.569
<v Speaker 2>Or do you still know? I mean, I know where

0:37:33.610 --> 0:37:33.950
<v Speaker 2>he is.

0:37:34.010 --> 0:37:35.870
<v Speaker 1>Like he'll DM me all the time. He's like Keeks.

0:37:35.910 --> 0:37:39.070
<v Speaker 1>My nickname is Keeky. So he's like, Keeks, looking great.

0:37:39.130 --> 0:37:41.270
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh my God, stop. Okay.

0:37:41.310 --> 0:37:42.230
<v Speaker 2>So do you think he's a playboy?

0:37:42.250 --> 0:37:45.069
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I don't think he's a playboy. I just

0:37:45.090 --> 0:37:47.110
<v Speaker 1>think that he went through a lot. And I think

0:37:47.210 --> 0:37:51.299
<v Speaker 1>that it's a testament to him to like where he

0:37:51.360 --> 0:37:53.920
<v Speaker 1>is in his life because he's still not married. And

0:37:53.940 --> 0:37:56.180
<v Speaker 1>he still never had kids. And he loved kids. And

0:37:56.200 --> 0:37:58.359
<v Speaker 1>he's a very bright guy. Very successful guy.

0:37:58.380 --> 0:38:02.160
<v Speaker 2>And never had kids. It sounds like that. Well, for

0:38:02.180 --> 0:38:04.630
<v Speaker 2>a guy, that ship hasn't sailed. They can have them

0:38:04.690 --> 0:38:08.130
<v Speaker 2>when they're much older. But I wanted more kids.

0:38:08.489 --> 0:38:08.729
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:38:08.810 --> 0:38:10.310
<v Speaker 2>And so you guys would have been perfect together.

0:38:10.830 --> 0:38:11.710
<v Speaker 1>Right. Exactly.

0:38:12.110 --> 0:38:13.650
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:38:13.810 --> 0:38:17.880
<v Speaker 1>Okay. And I mean, when Shana talks about meeting Greg

0:38:18.100 --> 0:38:21.990
<v Speaker 1>and just is like, I mean, her voice, the tone

0:38:22.030 --> 0:38:23.930
<v Speaker 1>in her voice, I was like, oh my God. She's done.

0:38:24.150 --> 0:38:24.549
<v Speaker 2>She found him.

0:38:25.150 --> 0:38:26.190
<v Speaker 1>She's like, there you are.

0:38:26.570 --> 0:38:29.969
<v Speaker 2>Done. Yeah. She literally pointed and said, you're the one

0:38:29.989 --> 0:38:30.950
<v Speaker 2>I want to spend the rest of my life with.

0:38:31.510 --> 0:38:35.529
<v Speaker 2>But he kept playing in her story. He never left

0:38:35.590 --> 0:38:39.390
<v Speaker 2>her book. He had chapters throughout her whole story. And

0:38:39.410 --> 0:38:43.470
<v Speaker 2>it just finally hit the right person at the right time.

0:38:43.880 --> 0:38:44.390
<v Speaker 2>And that is key.

0:38:56.050 --> 0:38:58.009
<v Speaker 1>And then when she said, oh my God, I would

0:38:58.050 --> 0:38:58.589
<v Speaker 1>marry him.

0:38:58.610 --> 0:38:59.529
<v Speaker 2>I'm dying to marry him.

0:38:59.969 --> 0:39:01.910
<v Speaker 1>I know. She said, I'm dying to marry him. I

0:39:02.010 --> 0:39:03.680
<v Speaker 1>love that. I love that.

0:39:03.719 --> 0:39:06.060
<v Speaker 2>What are you waiting for?

0:39:06.340 --> 0:39:08.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how much I like him. And she's like,

0:39:08.580 --> 0:39:13.400
<v Speaker 1>I just want to marry him. I feel like we're.

0:39:11.760 --> 0:39:13.510
<v Speaker 2>Going to hear an engagement rumor soon.

0:39:13.920 --> 0:39:15.839
<v Speaker 1>I just thought that was so honest. I really liked

0:39:15.860 --> 0:39:17.860
<v Speaker 1>her honesty. I really liked her. I was just like, oh,

0:39:17.890 --> 0:39:18.760
<v Speaker 1>my God.

0:39:18.890 --> 0:39:20.370
<v Speaker 2>And I didn't expect to at all.

0:39:20.390 --> 0:39:23.050
<v Speaker 1>Me neither. I loved her. I know.

0:39:23.070 --> 0:39:25.850
<v Speaker 2>I know. No, I was very I was.

0:39:25.640 --> 0:39:29.000
<v Speaker 1>Like, well, cause Jane is so sweet and soft and

0:39:29.020 --> 0:39:31.980
<v Speaker 1>just very thoughtful. So I was like, maybe it's just

0:39:32.000 --> 0:39:34.739
<v Speaker 1>because Jane, you know, Jana is so sweet like that,

0:39:34.800 --> 0:39:37.140
<v Speaker 1>that she's bringing this out in her. And I was like, no, no, no.

0:39:37.160 --> 0:39:40.340
<v Speaker 1>This woman is like, she knows what's going on. She's

0:39:40.400 --> 0:39:44.390
<v Speaker 1>very clued into her life and how she's navigated her world.

0:39:45.469 --> 0:39:47.359
<v Speaker 1>I have said some stuff in the past. I have

0:39:47.380 --> 0:39:50.779
<v Speaker 1>to admit that I would, that of how like, you know,

0:39:50.860 --> 0:39:55.259
<v Speaker 1>she is with Travis's new wife and their kids. So

0:39:55.780 --> 0:39:59.379
<v Speaker 1>I have said something, but I take it all back

0:39:59.480 --> 0:40:02.259
<v Speaker 1>because I just was so moved by her today. I just,

0:40:02.900 --> 0:40:04.580
<v Speaker 1>I did. I just thought she was, she's a really,

0:40:04.620 --> 0:40:05.439
<v Speaker 1>really beautiful human.

0:40:05.860 --> 0:40:08.660
<v Speaker 2>I loved how she owned all of her mistakes in

0:40:09.000 --> 0:40:12.800
<v Speaker 2>the past and, and like kind of shown how she's grown.

0:40:12.880 --> 0:40:14.989
<v Speaker 2>And I think she's like, like, and, Sounds like she's

0:40:15.010 --> 0:40:17.810
<v Speaker 2>super close to her kids. And like now she found

0:40:17.870 --> 0:40:20.790
<v Speaker 2>another love. I just feel like maybe she finally found

0:40:20.810 --> 0:40:23.420
<v Speaker 2>the right one. And sometimes it takes people five tries

0:40:23.480 --> 0:40:26.219
<v Speaker 2>or however many tries. Right. And then they find it.

0:40:26.840 --> 0:40:29.660
<v Speaker 1>She might be on. When she was talking about her

0:40:29.680 --> 0:40:31.980
<v Speaker 1>daughter and how she has to go back and forth

0:40:32.020 --> 0:40:35.410
<v Speaker 1>from L.A. to Texas because she goes to the emergency room.

0:40:35.430 --> 0:40:36.130
<v Speaker 2>That's concerning.

0:40:36.150 --> 0:40:39.089
<v Speaker 1>I mean, that literally broke my heart.

0:40:39.489 --> 0:40:41.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I listened to that. That broke my heart. She

0:40:41.739 --> 0:40:44.480
<v Speaker 2>spoke about it very matter-of-factly, and I'm sure it's way

0:40:44.520 --> 0:40:47.890
<v Speaker 2>more emotional than she let on because when your child

0:40:47.950 --> 0:40:51.129
<v Speaker 2>is suffering, particularly mentally, honestly, I almost feel like that's

0:40:51.190 --> 0:40:55.089
<v Speaker 2>even harder. I've had kids that have suffered, especially after

0:40:55.170 --> 0:40:59.000
<v Speaker 2>my husband died. We all suffered. It was all really,

0:40:59.020 --> 0:41:03.420
<v Speaker 2>really hard. It's hard to– so if they have a

0:41:03.540 --> 0:41:06.219
<v Speaker 2>broken arm or if they have a concussion or if

0:41:06.260 --> 0:41:08.320
<v Speaker 2>they have something wrong with their eyes, you go and

0:41:08.340 --> 0:41:11.540
<v Speaker 2>you seek medical attention and they fix it. mental illness

0:41:11.580 --> 0:41:14.480
<v Speaker 2>is so much harder and it sounds like, yeah, her

0:41:14.520 --> 0:41:17.590
<v Speaker 2>daughter is really, really like she's 21 years old. It

0:41:17.860 --> 0:41:19.720
<v Speaker 2>sounds like it's just super hard to deal with that.

0:41:19.739 --> 0:41:22.109
<v Speaker 2>And it sounds like she's probably in college. Like all

0:41:22.130 --> 0:41:22.710
<v Speaker 2>of that is hard.

0:41:23.230 --> 0:41:24.710
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. Yeah.

0:41:24.770 --> 0:41:25.370
<v Speaker 2>That would scare me.

0:41:26.030 --> 0:41:29.290
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I totally agree. And I, that's exactly what I thought.

0:41:29.430 --> 0:41:32.630
<v Speaker 1>I was just like, that's something that you can't like,

0:41:33.530 --> 0:41:35.270
<v Speaker 1>you can't put a bandaid on. No. Do you know

0:41:35.290 --> 0:41:36.989
<v Speaker 1>what I mean? Like you can't come and say like,

0:41:37.230 --> 0:41:38.190
<v Speaker 1>we're going to go to the doctor. We're going to

0:41:38.210 --> 0:41:39.210
<v Speaker 1>get that taken care of. Yeah.

0:41:39.290 --> 0:41:44.080
<v Speaker 2>This is long-term. It takes a while to heal like

0:41:44.120 --> 0:41:45.680
<v Speaker 2>from mental illness, from things like that.

0:41:45.920 --> 0:41:46.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:41:46.540 --> 0:41:49.410
<v Speaker 2>And 21 is a really vulnerable age and hard just

0:41:49.450 --> 0:41:51.970
<v Speaker 2>to be a 21 year old girl anyway, with all

0:41:51.989 --> 0:41:54.930
<v Speaker 2>the social, you know, pressures that we have. I mean,

0:41:54.969 --> 0:41:57.810
<v Speaker 2>I remember being 21. I mean, it was like maybe

0:41:57.989 --> 0:41:59.549
<v Speaker 2>some of the best times in my life and probably

0:41:59.590 --> 0:42:00.110
<v Speaker 2>some of the hardest.

0:42:00.989 --> 0:42:03.590
<v Speaker 1>But also she has on top of all of that,

0:42:04.050 --> 0:42:08.540
<v Speaker 1>she has famous parents. Yeah. Very famous parents. Yeah.

0:42:08.680 --> 0:42:10.480
<v Speaker 2>And you wonder how that all plays out that are

0:42:10.500 --> 0:42:12.930
<v Speaker 2>in the news and have had some, you know, have

0:42:12.950 --> 0:42:16.670
<v Speaker 2>had a past. And so that, you know, their past

0:42:16.710 --> 0:42:19.469
<v Speaker 2>follows you also. People know about you. And, you know,

0:42:19.489 --> 0:42:22.470
<v Speaker 2>they even had to talk about, she mentioned that she

0:42:22.790 --> 0:42:25.050
<v Speaker 2>connected with Travis and said, do our kids have security

0:42:25.070 --> 0:42:26.649
<v Speaker 2>in New York? Like, oh, kids are in New York.

0:42:26.670 --> 0:42:29.089
<v Speaker 2>Do they have security? I'm like, wow, your kids have

0:42:29.110 --> 0:42:31.490
<v Speaker 2>to have security? That's kind of scary.

0:42:31.739 --> 0:42:37.550
<v Speaker 1>I thought so too. I was like, security? Huh? Yeah. Honestly,

0:42:37.640 --> 0:42:41.370
<v Speaker 1>I was like, wait a minute. I was like, security?

0:42:42.450 --> 0:42:43.710
<v Speaker 2>Oh, they're Kardashians.

0:42:44.310 --> 0:42:44.410
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:42:44.430 --> 0:42:48.310
<v Speaker 2>But her kids with Travis are not Kardashians. And she

0:42:48.350 --> 0:42:51.140
<v Speaker 2>was talking about her kids having security.

0:42:51.780 --> 0:42:53.200
<v Speaker 1>Oh, but her kids, they travel with them.

0:42:53.280 --> 0:42:54.040
<v Speaker 2>Travel with them also.

0:42:54.380 --> 0:42:55.219
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

0:42:55.260 --> 0:42:55.640
<v Speaker 2>That makes sense.

0:42:55.660 --> 0:42:59.910
<v Speaker 1>So when they're together in New York or wherever around- Kourtney,

0:43:00.050 --> 0:43:00.850
<v Speaker 1>they have to have that.

0:43:01.010 --> 0:43:01.810
<v Speaker 2>And they have it with them.

0:43:01.910 --> 0:43:02.149
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:43:02.190 --> 0:43:03.969
<v Speaker 2>That makes more sense. I was like, wow. I mean,

0:43:04.210 --> 0:43:05.870
<v Speaker 2>he was famous. I mean, obviously, but like.

0:43:05.890 --> 0:43:06.570
<v Speaker 1>Really famous.

0:43:07.050 --> 0:43:09.330
<v Speaker 2>But like, I mean, yeah, but I mean, I wouldn't

0:43:09.350 --> 0:43:10.390
<v Speaker 2>think that he would need security.

0:43:11.130 --> 0:43:11.730
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't either.

0:43:11.950 --> 0:43:13.910
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't think, I wouldn't think most people that pass

0:43:13.950 --> 0:43:15.069
<v Speaker 2>him on the street aren't going to know who he is.

0:43:16.260 --> 0:43:17.219
<v Speaker 1>I agree. I was like, wait, what? Yeah.

0:43:17.239 --> 0:43:19.359
<v Speaker 2>I was like, what are you talking about?

0:43:19.960 --> 0:43:21.460
<v Speaker 1>I didn't understand that at all. Yeah.

0:43:21.780 --> 0:43:23.719
<v Speaker 2>So our kids do deal with that too. So like

0:43:23.780 --> 0:43:26.020
<v Speaker 2>they are really in the limelight with the Kardashians.

0:43:26.600 --> 0:43:30.460
<v Speaker 1>Yes. I mean, that is a terrible, terrible thing. Terrible life.

0:43:30.900 --> 0:43:31.759
<v Speaker 2>They didn't ask for that.

0:43:32.239 --> 0:43:32.779
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:43:33.200 --> 0:43:35.190
<v Speaker 2>Especially since like he, they got thrust into this as

0:43:35.250 --> 0:43:36.450
<v Speaker 2>kind of like adults.

0:43:37.650 --> 0:43:41.090
<v Speaker 1>But remember like, you know, Kim, she was held at gunpoint.

0:43:41.390 --> 0:43:41.830
<v Speaker 1>I know.

0:43:42.190 --> 0:43:43.870
<v Speaker 2>When she was in Paris, when she was robbed.

0:43:44.430 --> 0:43:45.469
<v Speaker 1>Yes. Scary.

0:43:45.710 --> 0:43:48.110
<v Speaker 2>You know, I totally get how the Kardashians need security.

0:43:48.590 --> 0:43:51.450
<v Speaker 2>I didn't realize I, now I get the whole security.

0:43:51.690 --> 0:43:52.690
<v Speaker 1>Musicians, children.

0:43:52.710 --> 0:43:53.549
<v Speaker 2>Totally get that.

0:43:53.590 --> 0:43:53.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:43:53.860 --> 0:43:55.799
<v Speaker 2>I would be scared for my kids. And that must

0:43:55.820 --> 0:43:58.219
<v Speaker 2>be like hard on her knowing that her kids are,

0:43:58.650 --> 0:44:00.989
<v Speaker 2>in that kind of situation. Like she had to ask,

0:44:01.050 --> 0:44:02.890
<v Speaker 2>do they have security in New York? Like, do you

0:44:02.910 --> 0:44:06.240
<v Speaker 2>have to worry about your kids at that level? That security.

0:44:07.180 --> 0:44:07.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:44:07.719 --> 0:44:08.240
<v Speaker 2>That's scary.

0:44:09.100 --> 0:44:10.300
<v Speaker 1>It's really scary. Yeah.

0:44:10.400 --> 0:44:13.520
<v Speaker 2>That they were dragged into that now life also. It's

0:44:13.540 --> 0:44:14.460
<v Speaker 2>like almost being a Royal.

0:44:15.700 --> 0:44:18.800
<v Speaker 1>Right. It is. It's exactly. Yes.

0:44:19.219 --> 0:44:21.640
<v Speaker 2>Like you have to worry about kidnapping and crap like that.

0:44:21.660 --> 0:44:23.339
<v Speaker 1>That's a horror. That's a horror story.

0:44:23.900 --> 0:44:25.900
<v Speaker 2>That's a whole other story that we should probably do

0:44:25.920 --> 0:44:28.560
<v Speaker 2>a podcast on. Oh, this is good because I think

0:44:28.580 --> 0:44:31.819
<v Speaker 2>you have comments about this. It sounded like Shaina and Travis' wife,

0:44:31.880 --> 0:44:35.810
<v Speaker 2>Kourtney Kardashian, are not very close. Kelly, how have you

0:44:35.870 --> 0:44:39.210
<v Speaker 2>handled that dynamic when your ex-husband has had a new

0:44:39.250 --> 0:44:41.810
<v Speaker 2>woman in his life? Was it difficult for you?

0:44:42.930 --> 0:44:47.040
<v Speaker 1>Okay, you're never going to believe it. Before we got

0:44:47.100 --> 0:44:51.060
<v Speaker 1>divorced or separated, I introduced Jill to one of my

0:44:51.120 --> 0:44:55.029
<v Speaker 1>friends who's a beautiful, beautiful human. Um, and I was

0:44:55.070 --> 0:44:55.810
<v Speaker 1>just like, here you go.

0:44:56.330 --> 0:44:57.810
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I knew that wasn't right.

0:44:58.350 --> 0:45:02.110
<v Speaker 1>So I introduced them and she is unbelievable. And they

0:45:02.130 --> 0:45:03.509
<v Speaker 1>were together for a very long time.

0:45:04.230 --> 0:45:06.350
<v Speaker 2>I love that. Did you ever ask him to return

0:45:06.370 --> 0:45:10.330
<v Speaker 2>the favor? Uh, no, no, you didn't think, you.

0:45:10.270 --> 0:45:13.529
<v Speaker 1>Know, I just, I couldn't, you know, he's, he's been,

0:45:13.550 --> 0:45:16.010
<v Speaker 1>you know, he's dated a million and married a million,

0:45:16.190 --> 0:45:21.049
<v Speaker 1>a million models. And I just couldn't have that around

0:45:21.070 --> 0:45:21.430
<v Speaker 1>my kids.

0:45:22.450 --> 0:45:23.989
<v Speaker 2>So you did it for your kids. You wanted him

0:45:24.030 --> 0:45:25.090
<v Speaker 2>to have the right person.

0:45:25.530 --> 0:45:25.810
<v Speaker 1>I did.

0:45:26.090 --> 0:45:27.070
<v Speaker 2>And you did a great job.

0:45:27.770 --> 0:45:31.730
<v Speaker 1>I did. I can't tell you her name, but she

0:45:31.910 --> 0:45:36.529
<v Speaker 1>is a fantastic, fantastic human. I love that.

0:45:36.930 --> 0:45:38.570
<v Speaker 2>So they're not together anymore, but they did spend a

0:45:38.590 --> 0:45:39.149
<v Speaker 2>lot of time together.

0:45:39.710 --> 0:45:41.689
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I mean, they were together for over seven years.

0:45:41.750 --> 0:45:43.570
<v Speaker 1>I mean, a long time. So it was a really

0:45:43.640 --> 0:45:46.100
<v Speaker 1>nice relationship. I'm very proud of that, actually, Joan.

0:45:46.440 --> 0:45:48.000
<v Speaker 2>You did a good job, and I'm proud that you

0:45:48.040 --> 0:45:51.470
<v Speaker 2>did that. That took a lot of Kind of self-confidence

0:45:51.570 --> 0:45:55.170
<v Speaker 2>because like handing off the person that like you once

0:45:55.270 --> 0:45:57.210
<v Speaker 2>loved is even probably hard even if you don't love

0:45:57.230 --> 0:45:59.250
<v Speaker 2>them anymore. Like they're still part of you and part

0:45:59.270 --> 0:46:02.530
<v Speaker 2>of your story and to give them another story, like

0:46:02.570 --> 0:46:05.379
<v Speaker 2>start the next chapter, help them start was really great

0:46:05.400 --> 0:46:05.620
<v Speaker 2>of you.

0:46:06.280 --> 0:46:08.640
<v Speaker 1>I just was like, my father was just like, we

0:46:08.680 --> 0:46:10.879
<v Speaker 1>need to tie a bow on this. We're done. Yeah.

0:46:11.469 --> 0:46:14.410
<v Speaker 2>So let me ask you, is he married now or

0:46:14.430 --> 0:46:15.540
<v Speaker 2>does he have a new relationship?

0:46:15.880 --> 0:46:19.260
<v Speaker 1>He does. He has a great relationship and she's really,

0:46:19.320 --> 0:46:23.799
<v Speaker 1>really smart and been very, very, very kind to my

0:46:23.960 --> 0:46:27.260
<v Speaker 1>ex and he's very happy. Great. And she's very, very

0:46:27.300 --> 0:46:30.270
<v Speaker 1>gracious to my kids and that means so much.

0:46:30.810 --> 0:46:33.690
<v Speaker 2>Have your kids liked all of his relationships since your

0:46:33.710 --> 0:46:34.450
<v Speaker 2>divorce or?

0:46:35.630 --> 0:46:38.160
<v Speaker 1>You know, I have to say like, You know, he's,

0:46:38.300 --> 0:46:40.500
<v Speaker 1>you know, he went back to a couple of younger models,

0:46:40.520 --> 0:46:42.410
<v Speaker 1>which is, you know, it's fine. That's like, you know,

0:46:42.450 --> 0:46:44.370
<v Speaker 1>that's his vibe, which is fine. But then he also

0:46:44.410 --> 0:46:48.690
<v Speaker 1>dated one and one of his girlfriends was, is my client.

0:46:48.710 --> 0:46:52.790
<v Speaker 1>And I love her. And she's a fantastic Venezuelan, brilliant,

0:46:52.830 --> 0:46:57.100
<v Speaker 1>brilliant woman. And then his current girlfriend is just a very,

0:46:57.160 --> 0:47:00.620
<v Speaker 1>very smart English woman. And she's lovely. So, you know

0:47:00.640 --> 0:47:03.110
<v Speaker 1>what I mean? Like, I just feel like, okay. Yeah.

0:47:03.330 --> 0:47:04.770
<v Speaker 1>And the girls are great. I mean, by the way,

0:47:05.310 --> 0:47:07.589
<v Speaker 1>even if they weren't, my girls would be like, nice

0:47:07.610 --> 0:47:08.069
<v Speaker 1>to see you.

0:47:08.810 --> 0:47:10.190
<v Speaker 2>Cause you raise nice girls.

0:47:10.910 --> 0:47:13.110
<v Speaker 1>Cause I'm like, you don't say anything bad about anyone.

0:47:13.530 --> 0:47:16.430
<v Speaker 1>Like even in, even in Jess, like it does, it's like, doesn't,

0:47:16.570 --> 0:47:17.940
<v Speaker 1>it's just a disservice to you.

0:47:18.460 --> 0:47:20.819
<v Speaker 2>Well, you've sent a great example that you don't need

0:47:20.840 --> 0:47:23.060
<v Speaker 2>to put other people down to make yourself feel good.

0:47:23.460 --> 0:47:23.920
<v Speaker 2>That's not right.

0:47:24.160 --> 0:47:24.899
<v Speaker 1>No, no.

0:47:25.260 --> 0:47:26.480
<v Speaker 2>You do a good example for your daughters.

0:47:27.520 --> 0:47:29.580
<v Speaker 1>Can you tell my, my co-stars that?

0:47:30.640 --> 0:47:32.120
<v Speaker 2>I really feel like I need to come on and

0:47:32.160 --> 0:47:34.010
<v Speaker 2>have a talk with them. I don't think they know

0:47:34.050 --> 0:47:35.630
<v Speaker 2>how nice you are. I don't know how they could

0:47:35.650 --> 0:47:39.650
<v Speaker 2>have missed that. I'll do guest of show. And I'm

0:47:39.690 --> 0:47:41.489
<v Speaker 2>just here to tell you all people like to make

0:47:41.530 --> 0:47:42.110
<v Speaker 2>an announcement.

0:47:43.570 --> 0:47:45.069
<v Speaker 1>Public announcement.

0:47:45.210 --> 0:47:50.130
<v Speaker 2>You obviously don't know the Kelly I know. Give her

0:47:50.150 --> 0:47:50.510
<v Speaker 2>a chance.

0:47:50.930 --> 0:47:51.790
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah.

0:47:52.150 --> 0:47:53.110
<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean, they got to make TV.

0:47:53.710 --> 0:47:55.149
<v Speaker 1>I had a percent. No, it's all good.

0:47:55.230 --> 0:47:56.570
<v Speaker 2>That's where you guys are getting that award.

0:47:57.350 --> 0:48:01.620
<v Speaker 1>Getting the award. It's be so fun. But, you know,

0:48:01.660 --> 0:48:05.320
<v Speaker 1>it's like, I mean, I, you know, I appreciate you

0:48:05.500 --> 0:48:07.580
<v Speaker 1>complimenting me on that and that, you know, it took

0:48:07.739 --> 0:48:11.219
<v Speaker 1>a lot, took a lot out of me. Do you

0:48:11.239 --> 0:48:13.020
<v Speaker 1>know what I mean? Like I just was, but I

0:48:13.120 --> 0:48:16.000
<v Speaker 1>knew what I had to do. I knew that I

0:48:16.080 --> 0:48:19.810
<v Speaker 1>had to not be with him anymore. I knew I

0:48:19.850 --> 0:48:21.710
<v Speaker 1>had to start my own life. I knew I had

0:48:21.730 --> 0:48:24.130
<v Speaker 1>to really, really be laser focused on work. And I

0:48:24.170 --> 0:48:26.270
<v Speaker 1>knew I had to go for it because I was

0:48:26.270 --> 0:48:29.390
<v Speaker 1>36 years old. And it was like the window was,

0:48:29.530 --> 0:48:31.969
<v Speaker 1>if I was going to meet someone, it was then.

0:48:33.030 --> 0:48:35.110
<v Speaker 1>And because I had to work so much.

0:48:35.410 --> 0:48:36.810
<v Speaker 2>You just put that on the back burner.

0:48:37.630 --> 0:48:40.719
<v Speaker 1>I didn't see people, Joan. I didn't even like, I didn't,

0:48:40.840 --> 0:48:42.799
<v Speaker 1>I would be like, and I mean, you can ask

0:48:43.000 --> 0:48:45.400
<v Speaker 1>any guy that if I gave you their number and

0:48:45.440 --> 0:48:47.850
<v Speaker 1>you're like, so what'd you think of Kelly? They'd be like, Oh,

0:48:47.890 --> 0:48:49.669
<v Speaker 1>she was so great. She just was having a good time.

0:48:50.050 --> 0:48:53.310
<v Speaker 1>Like they would never say she was serious. They would

0:48:53.370 --> 0:48:56.130
<v Speaker 1>never say, oh, she wanted to get married or they

0:48:56.150 --> 0:48:58.529
<v Speaker 1>would never say like, you know, she wanted to have

0:48:58.570 --> 0:49:02.129
<v Speaker 1>more kids or I just, I just didn't give off

0:49:02.170 --> 0:49:05.169
<v Speaker 1>that energy. And, you know, guys really pick up on that.

0:49:05.410 --> 0:49:08.009
<v Speaker 2>I mean, and I don't think that you could have,

0:49:08.030 --> 0:49:10.350
<v Speaker 2>I don't think there's enough room in your life when

0:49:10.370 --> 0:49:11.969
<v Speaker 2>you talk about how much you were working and how

0:49:12.010 --> 0:49:14.009
<v Speaker 2>much time you wanted to spend with your kids. There

0:49:14.050 --> 0:49:15.450
<v Speaker 2>just wasn't enough time for a man. I mean, like,

0:49:15.489 --> 0:49:16.430
<v Speaker 2>where would he fit into that?

0:49:17.300 --> 0:49:19.310
<v Speaker 1>Right. You wouldn't have. Right.

0:49:19.600 --> 0:49:21.120
<v Speaker 2>And you did, you did it your way. And I

0:49:21.160 --> 0:49:22.700
<v Speaker 2>think a lot of women do it our way. And

0:49:22.719 --> 0:49:25.580
<v Speaker 2>that's why maybe there are so many single women out

0:49:25.600 --> 0:49:27.100
<v Speaker 2>there and not that many single men.

0:49:27.860 --> 0:49:28.120
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:49:28.200 --> 0:49:30.210
<v Speaker 2>Kelly, I have had the best time talking. I think

0:49:30.230 --> 0:49:31.790
<v Speaker 2>we could stay on this podcast for like four hours,

0:49:31.850 --> 0:49:32.590
<v Speaker 2>but they're.

0:49:32.469 --> 0:49:33.510
<v Speaker 1>Making it now.

0:49:33.650 --> 0:49:36.629
<v Speaker 2>So are you ready to find love again in your

0:49:36.690 --> 0:49:39.780
<v Speaker 2>chapter two? We're here to help. Send us an email

0:49:39.900 --> 0:49:42.180
<v Speaker 2>or leave us a voicemail. All the info is in

0:49:42.200 --> 0:49:44.890
<v Speaker 2>the show notes. Follow us on socials too. I Do

0:49:44.930 --> 0:49:48.029
<v Speaker 2>Part Two, an iHeartRadio podcast for falling in love, is

0:49:48.070 --> 0:49:48.750
<v Speaker 2>the main objective.