1
00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:04,160
Speaker 1: If I only had one week left, who would I call?

2
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:09,600
Speaker 1: What would I say? Where would I go? What would

3
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:15,080
Speaker 1: I do? What would I eat? I think these are

4
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:29,160
Speaker 1: really good questions to have. What's up, everybody, Welcome back

5
00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,159
Speaker 1: to the podcast Episode one. Thanks for being here and

6
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,080
Speaker 1: watching and listening wherever you're coming from all of the

7
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:39,320
Speaker 1: different platforms, whether it's Spotify or YouTube or Apple podcast

8
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,440
Speaker 1: or iHeartRadio. Thank you for being here. I love to

9
00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,879
Speaker 1: do this and one of my favorite things of all

10
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,720
Speaker 1: the things that I do, I answer your questions. Email

11
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:54,000
Speaker 1: me Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Could be about

12
00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:57,120
Speaker 1: any subject and we'll put it in the queue and

13
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,200
Speaker 1: we'll pull them up randomly. I don't have any notes

14
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,360
Speaker 1: or I'm not prepared for any of the questions, so

15
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:03,880
Speaker 1: we'll just walk through it as I hear it for

16
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:08,720
Speaker 1: the first time reacts to it, just like we're two friends. Okay,

17
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:14,840
Speaker 1: first question, subject line here says, let's see family and

18
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:18,240
Speaker 1: career happiness. Hey, grand your my name is Joe. I'm

19
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,240
Speaker 1: from Farmington, Utah. First of all, I love the show.

20
00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:24,720
Speaker 1: Keep it up. I'm a second semester freshman in college.

21
00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:27,640
Speaker 1: I have no idea what I want to study in

22
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:30,120
Speaker 1: in other words, I don't know what I want to

23
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,880
Speaker 1: do with my life. I don't know what career to

24
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,600
Speaker 1: aim for. My biggest goal in life is to have

25
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,399
Speaker 1: a happy family. I want to make enough money for

26
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:41,520
Speaker 1: them to be able to live comfortably. But I'm not

27
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,679
Speaker 1: a money seeker by any means. Every interest of mine

28
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:49,080
Speaker 1: would make me a happy worker, but it wouldn't earn

29
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:54,200
Speaker 1: much money in the workforce, which should be my priority,

30
00:01:54,240 --> 00:02:00,640
Speaker 1: a happy, comfortable family or my own personal happiness. Thanks Joe,

31
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,360
Speaker 1: all right, Joe, shout out to beautiful Utah. Thank you

32
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:10,480
Speaker 1: for email. And brother, let's walk through this. I think

33
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:14,040
Speaker 1: this is the old the old saying putting the cart

34
00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:18,440
Speaker 1: before the horse. You are you're asking me a question

35
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:25,919
Speaker 1: on what to prioritize when one of the options hasn't

36
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:30,240
Speaker 1: even happened. It's just completely hypothetical. So you're like, hey, Granger,

37
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,240
Speaker 1: which of these should I choose? And one of them

38
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:37,680
Speaker 1: doesn't exist. I'm gonna say, hey, Joe, it's gonna be

39
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,680
Speaker 1: hard to it's gonna be hard to prioritize and make

40
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,960
Speaker 1: decisions on things that don't exist. Yet I understand the ambition,

41
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,120
Speaker 1: I understand the dream and the hope that one day,

42
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:50,560
Speaker 1: Lord will and you will have a family. But first,

43
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:54,280
Speaker 1: you don't know if that's going to happen. Second, and

44
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:58,240
Speaker 1: most importantly, you don't know how they are going to

45
00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:02,639
Speaker 1: react to what you do for a living. They might

46
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:07,280
Speaker 1: not need money or to be quote unquote comfortable, like

47
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:11,280
Speaker 1: you're saying, maybe you find a wife that just loves

48
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:14,560
Speaker 1: you for who you are and loves you because you're

49
00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:18,800
Speaker 1: happy with what you do, regardless of if it makes

50
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,000
Speaker 1: money or not, regardless of if she can go to

51
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:25,560
Speaker 1: Amazon and buy stuff all day long. Maybe she's just

52
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,720
Speaker 1: like Joe, I just I love you. I know we

53
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,680
Speaker 1: don't have a lot of money, but we have a

54
00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:32,720
Speaker 1: lot of love. And I love you and I love

55
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:34,600
Speaker 1: that you're happy at what you do even though it

56
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,960
Speaker 1: doesn't make a lot. I love you for what you do. Joe,

57
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,920
Speaker 1: What if you found a woman like that? I hope

58
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:45,200
Speaker 1: you do. By the way, but all this planning, all

59
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:49,360
Speaker 1: this worrying, all this prioritizing for something that hasn't happened,

60
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,280
Speaker 1: you don't know if you find a wife that says, Joe,

61
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,560
Speaker 1: it's more important to me that you are happy doing

62
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,560
Speaker 1: something you love instead of making a lot of money

63
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:02,040
Speaker 1: for us, that we don't need. It's another thing to

64
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:05,200
Speaker 1: say for your kids to be looking up to you, saying,

65
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,560
Speaker 1: you know, dad never made a whole lot of money,

66
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:15,200
Speaker 1: but he always loved what he did. He was always happy,

67
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,159
Speaker 1: and that is more inspiring to me as a kid

68
00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:21,120
Speaker 1: than a dad that hates what he does. He just

69
00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:23,440
Speaker 1: does it because he's trying to make money so the

70
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:29,800
Speaker 1: wife could go spend it. Does that make sense? Chase

71
00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:34,480
Speaker 1: after what you are passionate about right now, study in

72
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,799
Speaker 1: your second semester of college. What you love right now.

73
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:41,080
Speaker 1: That's going to make everything easier in the long run.

74
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:52,320
Speaker 1: Next question says open heart surgery at twenty seven. Hey Granger,

75
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,479
Speaker 1: starting my week out with your podcast has completely changed

76
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,200
Speaker 1: my work week. It always gets me in a great

77
00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,680
Speaker 1: state of mind. Thank you for that. I'm twenty seven

78
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,920
Speaker 1: years old. I'm a female from Iowa. I have open

79
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:08,800
Speaker 1: heart surgery a week from tomorrow to replace my AORDA.

80
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:12,320
Speaker 1: I am feeling very anxious and nervous, and I'm struggling

81
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,599
Speaker 1: with those see you, laters, I'm gonna have to give

82
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,800
Speaker 1: throughout the week. I'm constantly thinking about the worst case

83
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:22,559
Speaker 1: scenario and it's starting to weigh extremely heavily. On me. Also,

84
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,320
Speaker 1: my boss is pushing me really hard on a return

85
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:29,760
Speaker 1: date to work. I am already unhappy at my job

86
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,760
Speaker 1: and feel pressure to put this surgery off for them

87
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:36,520
Speaker 1: to get through our busy season. How do you handle this?

88
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,200
Speaker 1: I was raised to be loyal and work hard always,

89
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,359
Speaker 1: but I'm struggling to put myself first here. Thanks for

90
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,520
Speaker 1: all the content. You'll never understand how much it means

91
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:51,359
Speaker 1: to me. God bless Morgan. All Right, Morgan, thank you

92
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:54,880
Speaker 1: so much for being vulnerable and for the email. And

93
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,960
Speaker 1: it's got to be very difficult for you a case.

94
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:05,120
Speaker 1: Imagine going through open heart surgery, something so serious at

95
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:08,479
Speaker 1: such a young age. So my heart goes out for

96
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:12,800
Speaker 1: you with this, And I also can't imagine the see

97
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,479
Speaker 1: you laters that you're gonna have to give what I

98
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:21,680
Speaker 1: think is a gift just reading this once, not being

99
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,839
Speaker 1: able to fully process what's going on here, But my

100
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:25,839
Speaker 1: first reaction as I read it for the first time

101
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:31,000
Speaker 1: here is that it's a gift for anyone to be

102
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:37,040
Speaker 1: able to have a chance to think about their own

103
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:41,560
Speaker 1: mortality in a way so much that you are you're

104
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:46,320
Speaker 1: gonna say goodbyes to people like, Hey, I'm going into

105
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,920
Speaker 1: surgery next week. I want to say goodbye, and I

106
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,840
Speaker 1: don't want to make this awkward, but I want to

107
00:06:52,839 --> 00:06:56,560
Speaker 1: say goodbye because well it's an open heart surgery and

108
00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:02,080
Speaker 1: you know, anything could happen. Let me say that, not

109
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:06,520
Speaker 1: a lot of people get that kind of opportunity. Not

110
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:11,480
Speaker 1: a lot of people get a chance to evaluate their

111
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:16,040
Speaker 1: own mortality, how fragile their life is. Not a lot

112
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:20,040
Speaker 1: of people get that chance, and it is a gift

113
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:26,520
Speaker 1: to see in the mirror your own fragility. I hope

114
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,320
Speaker 1: you see it that way. I hope that you could

115
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:34,120
Speaker 1: come to see it this way. I want to talk

116
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:38,640
Speaker 1: about to the boss thing. This is crazy. It's crazy

117
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,920
Speaker 1: for all of us listening and from the outside looking in,

118
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,520
Speaker 1: it's crazy. You're going into an open heart surgery. You

119
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,080
Speaker 1: got a lot going on, you got a lot on

120
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:50,160
Speaker 1: your mind, and your boss is saying, hey, I really

121
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,720
Speaker 1: need to know, so if I could plan ahead, or

122
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:57,200
Speaker 1: really need to know when you're coming back. So you

123
00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,720
Speaker 1: don't like it, your boss is pushing you in a

124
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,440
Speaker 1: weird way. I think this is a really good time

125
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,640
Speaker 1: in my opinion too, because you asked what would you do?

126
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:07,960
Speaker 1: I think this is a really good time. Morgan to

127
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,880
Speaker 1: go to your boss and say, at this time in

128
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:15,920
Speaker 1: my life, as much as I have appreciated the work,

129
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:22,960
Speaker 1: I'm going to take some time off inevitably extended. I'm

130
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:26,080
Speaker 1: not sure if I'm coming back. And I appreciate the

131
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,240
Speaker 1: opportunity so much and everything that you have done for

132
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,280
Speaker 1: me with this kind of platform that you've given me,

133
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:37,000
Speaker 1: whatever the job is, But due to this medical condition

134
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:40,760
Speaker 1: and this surgery, I don't know how soon I can

135
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,959
Speaker 1: get back to work. I don't know how soon I'll

136
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,440
Speaker 1: be back to feeling normal, or if pushing it too

137
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:51,560
Speaker 1: hard at work might cause an extended recovery for me.

138
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,360
Speaker 1: So all that being said, I think, out of respect

139
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,600
Speaker 1: for you and our busy season, I would say, don't

140
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:03,280
Speaker 1: expect me to come back. I think that's a really

141
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,760
Speaker 1: good This is a really good time in your life

142
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:09,040
Speaker 1: for a really good excuse to back away from something

143
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:12,839
Speaker 1: that you don't like anyway, And during that time, I

144
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:16,480
Speaker 1: would really encourage you, Morgan to dig in deep to

145
00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:22,600
Speaker 1: your own mortality. Be thinking during this week before the surgery,

146
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,560
Speaker 1: not in some kind of weird, morbid, scary way, but

147
00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:30,480
Speaker 1: be thinking if I only had one week to live

148
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:34,560
Speaker 1: on this earth. And of course you'll have this is

149
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:37,600
Speaker 1: doctors are great, so there's nothing to worry about. But

150
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,439
Speaker 1: I think it's a great thought experiment. If I only

151
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:45,040
Speaker 1: had one week left, who would I call? What would

152
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:49,640
Speaker 1: I say? Where would I go? What would I do?

153
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:55,400
Speaker 1: What would I eat? I think these are really good

154
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:58,000
Speaker 1: questions to have, and I hope you do that. I

155
00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,520
Speaker 1: hope you email back to and let us know how

156
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:09,760
Speaker 1: this goes. Next question says subject line saved by narcissistic parent.

157
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:15,400
Speaker 1: Saved but narcissistic parent. That's what it says. Hey, grand

158
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,600
Speaker 1: I'd like to stay anonymous. I'm a believer in Christ

159
00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:20,320
Speaker 1: and I've been struggling with PTSD for the past year

160
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:24,400
Speaker 1: from verbal and physical abuse from my mom. I need

161
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,840
Speaker 1: to talk to her about the problems that I'm having

162
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,800
Speaker 1: with her, but I'm super nervous and feel like I'll

163
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:38,880
Speaker 1: shut down if I confront her. Any advice, Yeah, I'm sorry,

164
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:42,559
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, And my advice would be because I

165
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:46,560
Speaker 1: think it's a legitimate concern. I think she's probably you

166
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:49,440
Speaker 1: said she's narcissistic. She's probably someone that could shut you

167
00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:53,840
Speaker 1: down with a look or a talk, or a gesture

168
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:58,960
Speaker 1: or body language. And you're not gonna be able to

169
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:03,720
Speaker 1: to express yourself. She could shut you down. Okay, so

170
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,800
Speaker 1: let's know that, and let's go into the situation differently.

171
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:13,480
Speaker 1: One thing you need for your PTSD is you need

172
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:17,680
Speaker 1: to forgive her. Now, I don't know how many times

173
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,839
Speaker 1: I've said this in one hundred and ninety eight episodes

174
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:28,920
Speaker 1: that forgiveness is not something you need to totally believe

175
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,840
Speaker 1: inside you when you say it. The healing really starts

176
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:40,400
Speaker 1: after you express it. And maybe more importantly, when you

177
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:46,480
Speaker 1: forgive someone that is that does not matter how they

178
00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:49,400
Speaker 1: respond to the forgiveness, whether or not it worked or not.

179
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:53,560
Speaker 1: Forgiveness is on your part, not the other person. Otherwise

180
00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:58,520
Speaker 1: it's not forgiveness. You forgiving someone has nothing to do

181
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,480
Speaker 1: with how they take it or if they accept it,

182
00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:05,600
Speaker 1: or if they say agreed or yes or whatever. That's

183
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:10,160
Speaker 1: not forgiveness. Forgiveness is total grace on your part to

184
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:18,720
Speaker 1: say I no longer hold you guilty. Right. You don't

185
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:21,920
Speaker 1: have to believe it, but you can say it and

186
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:27,359
Speaker 1: let let your heart catch up to that later. And

187
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:32,440
Speaker 1: that's complicated, but there is such healing in forgiveness when

188
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:36,240
Speaker 1: you just say it, and there's no strings attached to it.

189
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:41,080
Speaker 1: It's like, Mom, I forgive you after all these years,

190
00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:43,520
Speaker 1: and you don't have to add things to it. You

191
00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:47,280
Speaker 1: don't have to say but or although, or even though

192
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,719
Speaker 1: or however. You just say I forgive you and I

193
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:56,079
Speaker 1: love you, not because of something you've done, but because

194
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:59,880
Speaker 1: of who you are. You're my mom, and you all

195
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,320
Speaker 1: will be, and I love you, and I just want

196
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:08,680
Speaker 1: you to know, without strings attached, that I forgive you now.

197
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:14,000
Speaker 1: Forgiving like that doesn't have to be trusting or giving

198
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,360
Speaker 1: a second chance. It has nothing to do with giving

199
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:22,240
Speaker 1: them a second chance. Forgiving is something for you, a

200
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:25,280
Speaker 1: grace from you, a gift of grace from you that

201
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:29,640
Speaker 1: then begins your healing. Mama, forgive you, and I love you,

202
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:34,680
Speaker 1: and I just want to tell you that. Okay, So

203
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,360
Speaker 1: that's not completely solving your problem. That's just solving the

204
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,679
Speaker 1: content of your discussion, but not how you deliver it.

205
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:45,640
Speaker 1: My suggestion would be, because she could shut you down

206
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:51,040
Speaker 1: if because of who she is, I would suggest a letter.

207
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:55,239
Speaker 1: I think that's a good thing, A good old fashioned

208
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:59,480
Speaker 1: handwritten letter, not a text or a phone call, because

209
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,000
Speaker 1: she shut you down in either one of those two things,

210
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:07,200
Speaker 1: and email's weird. I'm talking old fashioned good letter. You

211
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:11,400
Speaker 1: got a letter and you gotta pin and you write

212
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,920
Speaker 1: this out and you say whatever you need to say.

213
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,560
Speaker 1: But I want forgiveness to be part of it, and

214
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,520
Speaker 1: I want I love you, Mom to be part of it.

215
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:23,000
Speaker 1: And I want no caveats, no strings attached in it.

216
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:28,800
Speaker 1: And then what you can do. You could deliver it.

217
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:30,640
Speaker 1: You could hand deliver it. You can go to our

218
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,360
Speaker 1: house and say, Mom, there's a lot of things i

219
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,600
Speaker 1: want to say, and a lot of things that I've

220
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:43,320
Speaker 1: wanted to say over the years, and I'm I'm dealing

221
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:47,880
Speaker 1: with insecurities and I wanted to hand this to you

222
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:51,360
Speaker 1: and just say I put everything in this letter. I'm

223
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,840
Speaker 1: feeling vulnerable right now, so I put everything in this letter. Mom.

224
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:57,960
Speaker 1: Look her in the eye. Mom, can you please read it?

225
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,400
Speaker 1: Not right now, but when I leave, can you read it?

226
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:07,400
Speaker 1: Thank you, and then you're out. That would be my

227
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,920
Speaker 1: first option. I would suggest that first. My second option

228
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:14,960
Speaker 1: would be delivering it where she doesn't see you. It's

229
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,200
Speaker 1: not as cool and not as effective, but you could

230
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:22,560
Speaker 1: just put it in her mailbox or something like that.

231
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,080
Speaker 1: That's where I'm going. That's where I'm going with that.

232
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:34,280
Speaker 1: That answer. Let's hit another one here, Subjecline says, boys work,

233
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:38,800
Speaker 1: roles and advice. Hello, my two boys, Logan twelve and

234
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:42,560
Speaker 1: land In ten, and their neighborhood friend Bentley ten came

235
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,320
Speaker 1: up with an idea for a yard work company, a

236
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:49,720
Speaker 1: VIP company. Actually, I initially gave them an eye roll,

237
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:52,520
Speaker 1: thinking these kids don't even make their bed without a fight,

238
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,160
Speaker 1: How the heck are they going to do a VIP

239
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:58,800
Speaker 1: servius service? But like the awesome parent that I aspire

240
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,760
Speaker 1: to be, I said, sure, go ahead, do it, and

241
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,760
Speaker 1: do it well. I gave them a few pointers on

242
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:12,400
Speaker 1: and off they went. They have helped neighbors dig a

243
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:16,640
Speaker 1: small pond, gathered up sticks, overseeing a small burn pile,

244
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,640
Speaker 1: and blown leaves. The neighbors have been pleased with their

245
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:22,720
Speaker 1: work and have given them fair pay. And Doctor Pepper,

246
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,000
Speaker 1: it sounds good and it is for the most part,

247
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:29,680
Speaker 1: besides a few disagreements. What advice do you have for

248
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,840
Speaker 1: them in regards to choosing and sticking to their roles

249
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:37,760
Speaker 1: and responsibilities and also working through disagreements? My sons argue

250
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,160
Speaker 1: over the management position. Go figure, And of course they

251
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,960
Speaker 1: play more than they work. They are still just kids

252
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:47,200
Speaker 1: just looking for tips on how to encourage them while

253
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,920
Speaker 1: they still learn the value of hard work. Yeah, this

254
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:54,280
Speaker 1: is great. It's a great email, and I'm happy for

255
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:56,800
Speaker 1: you and your parenting. I love the sentence you wrote

256
00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:00,760
Speaker 1: where you said, being the awesome parent aspire to be.

257
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,560
Speaker 1: That's that's humble. I like it. It's like it's like

258
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,240
Speaker 1: admitting that you're not an awesome parent, but you want

259
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,719
Speaker 1: to be so you'll you'll do things according to the

260
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:18,480
Speaker 1: map that you've created. I like that. I like the

261
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,160
Speaker 1: part where it says at the end they play more

262
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,840
Speaker 1: than they work. I'm glad for that. I think it's

263
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:28,960
Speaker 1: a good thing. I'm glad that these boys ten and

264
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:33,760
Speaker 1: ten and twelve still have the ability to play and work.

265
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:37,440
Speaker 1: I think I think learning that balance will be something

266
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:41,960
Speaker 1: they continue through adolescents into manhood. They'll continue to learn

267
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:45,040
Speaker 1: the difference between work and play and where those two

268
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,960
Speaker 1: things come together. And I would want them now to

269
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:54,399
Speaker 1: have a little bit more play. Your question is what

270
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,400
Speaker 1: advice do you have in regards to choosing and sticking

271
00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:03,680
Speaker 1: to their roles and responsibilities. One thing I would recommend is, well,

272
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:08,480
Speaker 1: first of all, make sure you manage your expectations about

273
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:12,320
Speaker 1: how this is gonna go right, because if they wake

274
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,399
Speaker 1: up next week and they're like, VIP service is done, Mom,

275
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:20,879
Speaker 1: we're done. Manage your expectation so that you say, okay, okay,

276
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:24,960
Speaker 1: I understand, and I'm I'm really pleased with the work

277
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:29,240
Speaker 1: that you've done so far. Okay. Make sure that you're

278
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:32,400
Speaker 1: not like, no, you start this, you're gonna finish it

279
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:34,240
Speaker 1: and you gotta go all the way to the rest

280
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,920
Speaker 1: of November or whatever it might be. Make sure that

281
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,920
Speaker 1: that's not what it is. That's where it gets kind

282
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:42,920
Speaker 1: of complicated. I would recommend that they pay for every

283
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:47,520
Speaker 1: tool that they use. Now you can jumpstart them and maybe,

284
00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:52,040
Speaker 1: let's see, maybe you got them a rake, you know,

285
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:59,440
Speaker 1: for the leaves. Maybe you got them like a propane

286
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,200
Speaker 1: lder for the burn pile. I don't know what else.

287
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,879
Speaker 1: But from now on, now that you've got them kickstarted

288
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:10,280
Speaker 1: on this thing, from now on, I would say, let's

289
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,200
Speaker 1: have them pay for the new tools that they need.

290
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:16,000
Speaker 1: So if they go, hey, Mom, now they don't only

291
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 1: want us to rake leaves, they also want us to

292
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:21,639
Speaker 1: trim the hedges. Soul, can you get us a hedge trimmer?

293
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,560
Speaker 1: And it's like, no, no, I can't do that. You

294
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,360
Speaker 1: can continue working and you could find out how much

295
00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:31,400
Speaker 1: the hedge trimmer cost down at the sporting at the

296
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,960
Speaker 1: hardware store, and we'll find out how much that cost.

297
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,760
Speaker 1: And now you know how much to work towards so

298
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,520
Speaker 1: that you can get that. You guys could split it

299
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,840
Speaker 1: three ways if you want. And then when you get

300
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,160
Speaker 1: the hedge trimmer, that's going to open up new business.

301
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:48,080
Speaker 1: Now you could advertise hedge trimming and then you'll make

302
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:51,359
Speaker 1: up for that cost. Right, That's such an important lesson

303
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:56,560
Speaker 1: to learn right off. So manage your expectations and then

304
00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,400
Speaker 1: let them buy things. If they mess things up, let

305
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,080
Speaker 1: them pay for that too. The only thing I would

306
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,199
Speaker 1: push them on is if they start a job at

307
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 1: one of the neighbor's house, they have to finish it.

308
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 1: You and Dad are not gonna come bail them out.

309
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,680
Speaker 1: They're not gonna leave a half raked pile of leaves

310
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,000
Speaker 1: in the yard and then you and Dad are gonna

311
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,480
Speaker 1: go at nine pm and finish it up for them.

312
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,960
Speaker 1: Be bad. We don't want to do that. So they're

313
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:24,879
Speaker 1: gonna finish everything they start. Otherwise they're gonna call the

314
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:29,280
Speaker 1: neighbors themselves, not you, and they're gonna say, mister and

315
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:34,680
Speaker 1: missus Jones. We decides Logan and Landon and Bentley, and

316
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:39,719
Speaker 1: we decided that we're gonna not continue the VIP service.

317
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:44,680
Speaker 1: You know, just make sure that they're doing that. And

318
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:49,680
Speaker 1: here's another thing. If they're having a disagreement about management position,

319
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 1: then tell them the manager of you three is the

320
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:59,320
Speaker 1: one that has to make the phone call to the client.

321
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 1: You have to tell them that you're what time you're coming.

322
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,439
Speaker 1: You have to be the one that tells them that

323
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,760
Speaker 1: you're not going to finish or that you're not going

324
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,399
Speaker 1: to come back next week. Who wants to be the

325
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:14,959
Speaker 1: manager now also the manager if the other. If one

326
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,760
Speaker 1: guy gets sick, you're doing double duty because you're the manager.

327
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,440
Speaker 1: Who wants to be the manager? Now? Try to weed

328
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:23,960
Speaker 1: them out with stuff like that. I think that will

329
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,440
Speaker 1: help your disagreements and I think they'll find out, hey,

330
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 1: being a manager, maybe it's not as cool as I thought.

331
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 1: I love the story. I appreciate the email. We're going

332
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:39,960
Speaker 1: to take a break and be right back. This podcast

333
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 1: is brought to you guys by Better Help. You know,

334
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:46,160
Speaker 1: sometimes in life when we're faced with tough choices and

335
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:50,199
Speaker 1: the path forward isn't easy and clear, like I'm going

336
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,679
Speaker 1: to talk fully about in my new book Like a

337
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,880
Speaker 1: River that comes out just in like a week August.

338
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 1: The first losing our little boy River at three years

339
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 1: old put us in a place that we could not

340
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:07,200
Speaker 1: recover on our own. We tried everything, and therapy was

341
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,400
Speaker 1: an important part of that journey. So, whether you're dealing

342
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 1: with decisions around career, relationships or anything else, therapy can

343
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 1: help you move forward with confidence. It can help you

344
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:20,879
Speaker 1: unpack how to trust in order to make decisions to

345
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:24,119
Speaker 1: continue forward. But I know what you're thinking, where do

346
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:28,440
Speaker 1: I even go about finding a therapist? That sounds so daunting. Well,

347
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 1: if you're thinking about trying to start therapy, give Better

348
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:37,080
Speaker 1: Help a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible,

349
00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:39,160
Speaker 1: and suitable to your schedule. Just fill out a brief

350
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 1: questionnaire to get matched with the licensed therapist and switch

351
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:46,640
Speaker 1: therapist then at any time for no additional charge. Let

352
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:49,879
Speaker 1: therapy be your map. With Better Help, visit better Help

353
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 1: dot com slash granger today and get ten percent off

354
00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 1: your first month. That's Better Help HLP dot com slash granger.

355
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,960
Speaker 1: If you want to get a whole of me personally,

356
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 1: maybe get a message from me a video message from me.

357
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 1: It's super easy at cameo dot com slash Granger Smith

358
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:10,359
Speaker 1: or on the Cameo app search for me Granger Smith.

359
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 1: I'll make a personalized video message right from my phone

360
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,399
Speaker 1: to you or whoever you want and say whatever you

361
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:21,919
Speaker 1: need me to say. Encouragement, happy birthday, happy anniversary, whatever

362
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,360
Speaker 1: it might be. Let me do that for you at

363
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:27,960
Speaker 1: cameo dot com slash Granger Smith. Back to the podcast,

364
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,919
Speaker 1: all right, Back to the podcast. Answering your questions, email

365
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 1: me Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com and we'll throw

366
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:42,879
Speaker 1: you in the queue here. Next question, subject line says

367
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 1: work and it says keep anonymous. Hey Granger, my name is.

368
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,399
Speaker 1: That's always so funny when it just said keep an eye,

369
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 1: I won't read it. Okay, It says I'm fifteen from Minnesota,

370
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:59,200
Speaker 1: just recently moved to a new house and it's going good.

371
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,360
Speaker 1: I got a job at a farm and I love

372
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 1: working on it. But work just takes up all my time.

373
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 1: I never have time to hang out with my friends

374
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 1: or family or this sweet girl that I like. I

375
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,920
Speaker 1: just wanted to know what are some ways to help

376
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 1: me balance my time? All right, Anonymous, appreciate your emailing brother.

377
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,439
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on in this email because

378
00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure you said fifteen. I know you said fifteen,

379
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:30,119
Speaker 1: and it sounds like you're thirty five, because you're talking

380
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:33,200
Speaker 1: about you just moved into a new house and it's

381
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 1: going good, and then you start talking about the job

382
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 1: and you don't have any time for friends or family

383
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 1: or your girl, and it sounds like you bought a

384
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 1: house and you're living in your house and you're like

385
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 1: playing bills and playing the mortgage. That's what it sounds like.

386
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 1: So that's why I'm a little confused. What's going on.

387
00:24:54,600 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 1: You're fifteen, I'm assuming I know certainly you're talking about

388
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:07,199
Speaker 1: your living with your guardian or parents, right right, Okay?

389
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:11,439
Speaker 1: Why are Why does it sound like you're paying for

390
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 1: the house? Let me just put it that a way.

391
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 1: Why does it sound like if you don't work, the

392
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:21,479
Speaker 1: house goes away. Why is there so much pressure on

393
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 1: you working all of the time when you're fifteen. Fifteen

394
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:31,920
Speaker 1: year olds should work, don't hear me wrong on that,

395
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 1: But fifteen year olds should not work so much that

396
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 1: they have no time for anything else in their life.

397
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 1: School is not even mentioned in this email, so you say,

398
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 1: I never have time to hang out with my friends

399
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:53,239
Speaker 1: or family or a girl. That's a problem. So I can.

400
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 1: I could give you tips on balancing time and managing time,

401
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 1: but that's a conversation I would have with a thirty

402
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:04,399
Speaker 1: year old, not a fifteen year old. That's different. I

403
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 1: could talk to you about your power list and coming

404
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:11,680
Speaker 1: up with your schedule and making your you know, making

405
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:15,960
Speaker 1: your checklist and what time you're waking up, and I

406
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:20,120
Speaker 1: could talk to you about that, But that's silly because

407
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 1: we have a lot of other priorities. There's like three

408
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: priorities for you, in my opinion, three priorities that come

409
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 1: before working. Working at this point is making money so

410
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 1: that you could help out a little bit at the house.

411
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 1: I get it, so that you could maybe be saving

412
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:41,919
Speaker 1: for a truck, I get it. And saving for a

413
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:47,119
Speaker 1: few things that you like, some clothes, new pair of jeans,

414
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 1: a movie night with the sweet girl. You're talking about

415
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 1: that stuff. And if you're working more than that, then

416
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 1: we need to talk about why, and is this the

417
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:07,439
Speaker 1: right job? And is the house too expensive? And is

418
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 1: everyone managing money okay that you're working so much? Those

419
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 1: kind of questions, those are the kind of questions I have. Yeah,

420
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,280
Speaker 1: I would go there instead of ways to balance your

421
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:25,399
Speaker 1: life besides telling you, hey, anonymous, if you don't fix

422
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 1: this now, you're gonna realize quickly you're only fifteen once.

423
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 1: If you neglect friends and parents and family and this girl,

424
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,919
Speaker 1: if you neglect them for this job to make money,

425
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 1: that will go away, that will get spent, that will

426
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,879
Speaker 1: get eaten up in some truck payment. If you do

427
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 1: that too much, you're gonna have serious problems in three,

428
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: four five years, because you're gonna look back and realize, oh, man,

429
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 1: I chewed up my teenage years and they're gone and

430
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 1: I don't have them back. And those were formative years

431
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:01,200
Speaker 1: for me. Those were the years that I was learning

432
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 1: about life and girls and friendship and being social. These

433
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: were years and I was supposed to learn that, and

434
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,439
Speaker 1: instead I didn't. I was stuck in my work. So

435
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 1: be very careful. You're only fifteen once. Be very careful

436
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:32,400
Speaker 1: with how you use that time. Nice question. Subjecline says

437
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 1: failed marriages and says, hey, Granger, my name is David.

438
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:39,200
Speaker 1: I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I'm newly married. All my life

439
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 1: I've been surrounded by failed marriages, regardless if it's family, friends,

440
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: or whoever it may be. My dad passed away when

441
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 1: I was ten years old, so I really don't remember

442
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 1: how my parents' marriage was. What advice do you have

443
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 1: to give a newly wedded man? PS, My wife walked

444
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 1: down the aisle too. You're in it. We are huge fans.

445
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: Thanks for your time, David, David, I appreciate you, brother,

446
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, and congratulations on the new marriage.

447
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:13,239
Speaker 1: I'm happy for you, guys, and I'm very honored that

448
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 1: you used you're in it for for such a special

449
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 1: moment in your life. Thank you so much. I love

450
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 1: that to have that kind of connection. I typically when

451
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 1: I get a question like this, I pull out a

452
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 1: similar card each time to play right. It's like, OK,

453
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 1: if this was a card game, I'm pulling out this card.

454
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 1: If you're gonna genuinely just generally ask me advice for

455
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 1: a newly wedded man or couple or woman, I'm gonna

456
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 1: pull out the card and said that says be selfless.

457
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 1: Remember now, remind yourself now daily that is not just

458
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 1: you any It's not just about you. And when Jesus

459
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 1: says love your neighbor as yourself. I said this last week.

460
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:13,520
Speaker 1: We have to assume when Jesus says love your neighbor

461
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 1: as yourself, not more than yourself, or love your neighbor

462
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 1: and some relation to yourself, it's very clear that he's

463
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 1: saying love your neighbor the same meaning. There is an

464
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 1: assumption that you already love yourself. It doesn't say learn

465
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 1: to love yourself and then then once you learn to

466
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 1: love yourself, then you could love your neighbors. That's what

467
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 1: the culture says, and kind of twist that all the time.

468
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 1: You hear weird stuff like that, get a learn. Remember

469
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 1: you have to learn to love yourself first, and then

470
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 1: when you loved yourself, you could love others. How many

471
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 1: times have y'all heard that twisted, weird cultural garbage. And

472
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 1: that's not what Jesus said, And that's not what you

473
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 1: know to believe, because you know, if you think about

474
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 1: it with your heart, you think about yourself, you think

475
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 1: who you are inherently, how you were born, your nature,

476
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 1: your human nature says, take care of myself. I'm hungry,

477
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 1: feed me, I'm thirsty, I need drink, I'm tired, need

478
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 1: to lay down like we're so primal. I have a headache.

479
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:38,959
Speaker 1: I can't think until I have some aspirin. I got

480
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 1: a headache, oh man, got this ache and back today

481
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 1: I just oh, I got this crik in my neck

482
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 1: and every time I turn left, I just cannot stop

483
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 1: thinking about this crik in my neck. And I'll do

484
00:31:52,520 --> 00:32:00,080
Speaker 1: anything to relieve that. Or let's flip it. Man. Know

485
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 1: what I can go for tonight? Some steak? Oh man.

486
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 1: There's nothing like a good steak on a night like this,

487
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 1: or football games on huh. I can't wait. I've been

488
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 1: waiting for this game, this game, and this moment. I've

489
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 1: been wanting to see this particular game for like a year.

490
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 1: This is the rematch of last year's crazy game, and

491
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 1: this year it's primetime seven pm. And I've got my

492
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 1: couch ready, my TV ready, and I'm ready for no distractions,

493
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 1: ready to watch my game. This is what we do.

494
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 1: This is what humans do. We love ourselves. That's the default,

495
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 1: and so Jesus is saying, go against the default and

496
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 1: love your neighbor as yourself like that, like you do,

497
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 1: like when you get a headache, and you'd aspirin when

498
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 1: you want to watch the game, when that's what you want,

499
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 1: when that's what you need when you want that steak,

500
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 1: when you want to lay down, take all those things

501
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 1: that love you give. Yeah, just do that to others too.

502
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: It's not the default. It takes effort to do that.

503
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 1: It takes a big switch of the brain to go, oh,

504
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 1: I'm David, I'm newly wed. Now I've got a wife.

505
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 1: Now it's not just about me, and Jesus is saying,

506
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 1: and I'm saying now because I agree. I'm saying that

507
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 1: you don't have to go above and beyond for your wife.

508
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 1: You don't have to pour out superficial love. You don't

509
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 1: have to wake up and go, how am I going

510
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 1: to multiply this love over and over to my wife today?

511
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 1: Because you can't sustain that. All you all you need

512
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 1: to do is love her like you love yourself. That's it.

513
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 1: So watch her, think about her, think about when she's

514
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 1: whatever equivalent to that football game is to her. Make

515
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 1: sure you don't schedule anything. Then whatever that equivalent thing

516
00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: is to your stake, your craving, cook it for one night,

517
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 1: whatever equivalent feeling that you get when you just want

518
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 1: to lay down and take a nap and close off

519
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:12,320
Speaker 1: the world. You're so tired, make the bed for her,

520
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 1: turn down the blinds and the lights, make it nice,

521
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:19,759
Speaker 1: and say, babe, you go to bed early to night.

522
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,879
Speaker 1: You had a tough night last night. Go to bed

523
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:23,759
Speaker 1: early to night. I'll take care of the dishes, I'll

524
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 1: take care of everything. So you're just you're not going

525
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:31,920
Speaker 1: above and beyond. You're just you're giving her what you

526
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 1: would do, how you would treat yourself. That's just not revolutionary.

527
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:41,800
Speaker 1: This is not brand new, groundbreaking information. But it's marriage saving.

528
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:46,680
Speaker 1: It's marriage saving. And for all the people said this

529
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,239
Speaker 1: last week too, for all the people that are thinking, hey,

530
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:55,880
Speaker 1: one problem, I don't love myself. In fact, I hate myself,

531
00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 1: I would say, I don't agree. I don't agree. Hating

532
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,880
Speaker 1: is not the opposite of loving. Hating is a close brother.

533
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 1: It takes a lot of passion, a lot of energy,

534
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:12,799
Speaker 1: a lot of attention to hate something. So if you're

535
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,280
Speaker 1: hating yourself, that means you're pouring a lot of attention

536
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:19,399
Speaker 1: on yourself. The only thing opposite of love is indifference.

537
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 1: I don't care, could care less. I don't care at all.

538
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 1: I hadn't even thought about it. Nobody's indifferent to themselves. Okay, lover.

539
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 2: Just like you love yourself, You'll be good.

540
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 1: Let's hit another one here. Subject line says fatherhood. Hey Granger,

541
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 1: my name is Cody from San Augustine, Texas. I'm twenty seven,

542
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:58,720
Speaker 1: been a fan for the past ten to eleven years.

543
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:00,719
Speaker 1: My question is do you have any tips for a

544
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,239
Speaker 1: first time dad? My wife and I were expecting our

545
00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:06,880
Speaker 1: son in September, so i'd greatly appreciate to have some

546
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:11,640
Speaker 1: advice from a favorite country singer. I already plan on

547
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 1: raising him around the church. Many blessings for Amber London,

548
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 1: Lincoln Maverick and yourself. All Right, Cody, thanks for emailing brother,

549
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 1: thank you for being a fan, and congratulations expecting a

550
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 1: son in September. And guess what that's My birthday is

551
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 1: in September two. So I'd love to tell first time

552
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:42,440
Speaker 1: dads because we're so dads are so out of the

553
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 1: loop and out of control. We having a baby as

554
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:52,720
Speaker 1: a dad is something that is just it's helpless because

555
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:56,480
Speaker 1: we can't do anything. We can't we can't even help

556
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 1: our wives. It's hard to even provide comfort because a

557
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 1: lot of I don't even want it from us at least,

558
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 1: and what do we know about any of it, so

559
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:10,080
Speaker 1: all we can do is sit there and stress out

560
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 1: about it. So don't take that. That's not the that's

561
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 1: not the advice I'm giving. My advice is this, you

562
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:22,759
Speaker 1: say tips for a first time debt, Well, all you

563
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 1: gotta do it's super easy if you think about it.

564
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:29,440
Speaker 1: All you have to do is stay one step ahead

565
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 1: of them. It can get daunting thinking about, man, I

566
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:38,440
Speaker 1: gotta gotta got my son coming. Oh man, I gotta

567
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 1: get him a go kart. I gotta think about baseball.

568
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:45,359
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, summer league baseball. I better get him

569
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 1: a glove. And then we're gonna have to think about

570
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 1: maybe moving closer to some kind of training for him,

571
00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 1: because he's probably gonna want to be a pitcher in baseball.

572
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 1: And then oh yeah, I gotta make sure that he's

573
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,760
Speaker 1: got a good bye. Every boy needs a good bike,

574
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:05,839
Speaker 1: and so I should make sure that we get this

575
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 1: driveway paved because it's dirt and we're gonna need to

576
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 1: get that drive And like, your brain can go crazy

577
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:17,360
Speaker 1: thinking about having a boy in your house for the

578
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 1: next eighteen years. But you don't have to think about that.

579
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 1: All you have to do is follow as he changes,

580
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:30,760
Speaker 1: and he's gonna change quickly. You just gotta follow. And

581
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 1: the pattern that's already laid up before you is stay

582
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 1: one step ahead. For instance, right now you're a few

583
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 1: months from birth, right, well, all you gotta think about

584
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 1: right now is making your wife making helping her get

585
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 1: that nursery set up. And that's your only job right now.

586
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:48,359
Speaker 1: It's your only goal. That's my only advice to you,

587
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 1: And your only goal is get this nursery set up right,

588
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 1: make it less work on your wife, make her not

589
00:38:56,719 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 1: need to worry about where the baby is gonna lay

590
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 1: its little babyhead. Okay, and then when the baby comes,

591
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 1: Now you got a certain amount of months before it's

592
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 1: gonna need to start taking a bottle, unless it's unless

593
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:16,719
Speaker 1: it's only breastfair. If it's breastfeeding, that's one thing. But

594
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 1: if it's not breastfeeding, you got to learn how to

595
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,120
Speaker 1: make the formula. That's easy. Learn that, and then you

596
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 1: got a few months until the baby is scooting around,

597
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 1: so then you got to kind of prepare the floor.

598
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: And then you got several months after that. Now the

599
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,839
Speaker 1: baby's walking, so now you can baby proof the house then,

600
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:34,880
Speaker 1: and then you got several months after that before the

601
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 1: baby is climbing, So then you got to watch the

602
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: chairs in the kitchen. So you're always just, Okay, what's

603
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 1: the next step, what's the what's the kid gonna be

604
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:46,840
Speaker 1: doing six months from now? Okay, gotta make sure we

605
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 1: got to take care of these chairs and the kitchen

606
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,240
Speaker 1: because this kid's gonna climb up on the kitchen table.

607
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 1: And if you're one step ahead, then you don't have

608
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:57,319
Speaker 1: to worry about the next eighteen years. You could, you

609
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,799
Speaker 1: could even do your research for each tiny stage, but

610
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 1: babies are laid out and they go down this timeline

611
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 1: that's so predictable. It's beautiful. It's great for parenting. We

612
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:11,799
Speaker 1: don't have to worry about five years from now. We

613
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 1: don't have to worry about a toddler when they're an infant.

614
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,279
Speaker 1: You don't have to worry about a teenager when they're

615
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 1: a kid, when they're an adolescent. So there you go.

616
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 1: Don't be thinking about what's he gonna drive? Is he

617
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:26,919
Speaker 1: gonna get my truck? Am I gonna pass that down

618
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,880
Speaker 1: to him? It's too much thinking. That's it. Another question

619
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 1: question here says in a slump, can use some advice,

620
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 1: Hey Grange, your my name is Lily I have written

621
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,720
Speaker 1: the podcast before, but I could really use some advice.

622
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 1: I'm fourteen years old. I'm going into high school. I

623
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 1: have been homeschooled for seven years, but this year my

624
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,800
Speaker 1: parents decided to do something different. I'm gonna go to

625
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:56,960
Speaker 1: the school at the church that I have been attending.

626
00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,800
Speaker 1: I'm the type of person that finds comfort in having

627
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 1: control over things in my life, but lately I have

628
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 1: felt that I don't have control over anything. I know

629
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:10,560
Speaker 1: that ultimately God is in control. I also know there

630
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 1: are some things that I have zero control over, but

631
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 1: I'm just not sure what to do. I feel like

632
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 1: I've been in a slump lately, and I'm struggling to

633
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:20,839
Speaker 1: get out of it. So many things in my life

634
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 1: are changing, and I have always struggled with change. I've

635
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 1: never liked it. I'm praying that God will reveal the

636
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,280
Speaker 1: answers to me, but I could really use some advice.

637
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 1: What would be something you would do in this situation?

638
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:36,399
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, God, bless all right, Lily, thank

639
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 1: you so much for the question and for emailing and

640
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 1: being vulnerable and being fourteen and listening to a podcast

641
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:45,880
Speaker 1: like this. I'm going to give you an answer that

642
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 1: would be different if I gave it to a thirty

643
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 1: year old or a forty year old or a twenty

644
00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 1: year old. I'm going to give you a different answer

645
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,759
Speaker 1: because you're a fourteen year old. It's nothing against you.

646
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:57,880
Speaker 1: I just think I think the answer should change depending

647
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 1: on the decade you're living in. What I mean by

648
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 1: that is I love that you're praying. I love that

649
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 1: you're leaning into God's sovereignty and providence and you're kind

650
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 1: of unpacking that a little bit. That's good. I want

651
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 1: you to think about this. The community people around us

652
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:32,720
Speaker 1: is what builds confidence. We don't build confidence by ourselves alone.

653
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:36,400
Speaker 1: We build confidence in a community. So how do you

654
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:38,279
Speaker 1: find a community if you're not part of one and

655
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 1: you need, desperately need it to build confidence to help

656
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:45,880
Speaker 1: mitigate the change that's hitting you right now? This change

657
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,200
Speaker 1: that's just all over you and you're like, oh, it's

658
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 1: icky change. I don't like it. I just want it

659
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 1: back to normal. I just want to be homeschooled again.

660
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:59,760
Speaker 1: That was better. So how do you find the community.

661
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 1: Think about yourself and your passions, maybe not even passions,

662
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:08,400
Speaker 1: just think about what you like. What do you like?

663
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:14,319
Speaker 1: Do you like? Okay, gonna I'm gonna be stumped here

664
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,399
Speaker 1: because you're a fourteen year old girl and I never

665
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:19,320
Speaker 1: was a fourteen year old girl. Let me speak from me, okay,

666
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 1: me me me baseball cards or NFL football, aggie football,

667
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 1: baseball gloves, checkers cards, maybe check maybe maybe some kind

668
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:46,040
Speaker 1: of skip bow or one of those card games. Movies,

669
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 1: certain kinds, a very specific kind of movie. So what

670
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,239
Speaker 1: I'm doing this exercise, I want you to, first of all,

671
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:54,880
Speaker 1: just go down this list. And if I were you,

672
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:56,800
Speaker 1: I would get this list and I would write the

673
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 1: fourteen year old girl things, not the granger fourteen year

674
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:03,800
Speaker 1: old things, write the lily things on a piece of paper,

675
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:08,359
Speaker 1: write it out, and then try to make an order

676
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,480
Speaker 1: of that. So it's like number one is this. I

677
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 1: love this. And I'm not talking about Jesus. I'm not

678
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:16,800
Speaker 1: talking about mom and dad. I'm not talking about Grandma.

679
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 1: I'm talking about hobbies, games, interest, talents, that stuff. Maybe

680
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:29,279
Speaker 1: it's drawing, maybe it's painting, maybe it's singing, maybe it's

681
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:32,960
Speaker 1: playing an instrument. Make a list and try to order it,

682
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:36,920
Speaker 1: and when you get that top three, seek out those

683
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 1: people that's your tribe. So say, say your first thing

684
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 1: is water painting. Love. You love to paint with watercolors, right,

685
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:53,360
Speaker 1: Put it that way. You love it, that's your passion,

686
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 1: and you're pretty dang good at it too. So you

687
00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 1: go to your school, this new school, and you find

688
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:06,359
Speaker 1: someone anyone, a teacher, the principal, and and you say,

689
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:08,400
Speaker 1: I want I want to get together with other people

690
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:13,360
Speaker 1: that paint with water colors. And then guess what, guess what,

691
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 1: Whatever your top three list is, I promise you on

692
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 1: that list, you're gonna find a group might be one, two, three, five,

693
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 1: seven people that are like, man, I love painting with watercolors.

694
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:29,560
Speaker 1: And you go, I have an idea. I think every

695
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:33,840
Speaker 1: Monday night we meet at seven pm. We meet and

696
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 1: we have a prompt that we paint all six days,

697
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 1: and then on the seventh day, on Monday, we get

698
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 1: together at seven pm and we show each other the prompt.

699
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,439
Speaker 1: So I'll come up with the prompt, and then next

700
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 1: week you come up with the prompt, some kind of

701
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 1: idea or line or title, and then we paint it

702
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:54,839
Speaker 1: and we come together. And what you're doing without even

703
00:45:54,880 --> 00:46:00,600
Speaker 1: knowing it at that point, you're building community, camaraderie, friendships.

704
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:06,040
Speaker 1: We need this. You're building confidence they're pouring into you,

705
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:08,799
Speaker 1: you're pouring out to them. That's how you live. That's

706
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 1: how you survive. That's how you mitigate that change. That's

707
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:16,280
Speaker 1: how it's not weird anymore. Now you're home, you have friends,

708
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:23,319
Speaker 1: you have family. That's how you do it. I love

709
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:28,439
Speaker 1: you guys. All y'all for emailing and as always, see

710
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 1: you next Monday. Gee, thanks for joining me on the

711
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,600
Speaker 1: Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys. You could

712
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:37,719
Speaker 1: help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If

713
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 1: you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little

714
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 1: like button and notification spell so that you never miss

715
00:46:44,600 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 1: anytime I upload a video. If you have a question

716
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,440
Speaker 1: for me that you would like me to answer, email

717
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 1: Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.

718
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:54,839
Speaker 2: Yie