WEBVTT - PSA Planner Patty 0:00:06.240 --> 0:00:08.119 All right, we are black. We are black? 0:00:08.560 --> 0:00:09.120 Well we are. 0:00:10.640 --> 0:00:12.440 This is why Tiffy does the segways. 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:13.840 Because I am so bad to no. I agree. 0:00:15.800 --> 0:00:17.680 Do you want me to read this behemoth of a 0:00:17.760 --> 0:00:19.560 message or what? What? What are we trying to do? 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:19.840 No? 0:00:19.840 --> 0:00:21.479 No, because you're gonna like and like. 0:00:21.520 --> 0:00:23.759 And the Many is such a journalist that, like me, 0:00:23.760 --> 0:00:26.640 I'm gonna rework for words Many like like her, her 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:29.639 eye is like two steps ahead, and her mind is 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:30.479 like like, I. 0:00:30.440 --> 0:00:31.960 Don't know how you do it, but I'm like, damn, 0:00:32.000 --> 0:00:32.480 she's good. 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:38.080 I'm like the boy is good and fast he can't 0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:41.120 and then it's like the boy runs, okay, he runs like. 0:00:42.680 --> 0:00:44.920 If it's not how you wrote it, it's because I listen, 0:00:45.200 --> 0:00:46.000 we got to edit live. 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:46.879 You do. 0:00:47.000 --> 0:00:47.920 Go ahead, man, you got it. 0:00:48.200 --> 0:00:48.440 Yes. 0:00:48.880 --> 0:00:50.680 The one thing I will say is Planar Patty at 0:00:50.760 --> 0:00:53.600 least is self aware because she gave her this anonymous 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:58.160 nickname pseudonym for this purpose. Planar Patty says, I am 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:01.160 writing to get both of your feedback. My husband and 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:04.920 I currently both work full time. He makes roughly ninety K. 0:01:05.120 --> 0:01:07.880 I make eighty five K. We're both thirty one. You 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:09.880 guys are going to hear all of her plans. Okay, 0:01:10.160 --> 0:01:12.800 let's just go through the plans right now. We're renting 0:01:12.800 --> 0:01:15.160 out our master bedroom on Airbnb. We live in the 0:01:15.200 --> 0:01:17.800 remainder of our house. This lets us bring in an 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:22.120 extra ten k each year after taxes. We're currently trying 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:24.640 to build house number two that we also want to 0:01:24.680 --> 0:01:26.920 rent out for extra income so we can bring more. 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:28.040 Money in in. 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:31.120 We have six months of our expenses save so far, 0:01:31.319 --> 0:01:34.080 but we don't have a lot in retirement, just over 0:01:34.200 --> 0:01:37.080 fifty k and our two four to one ks combined 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:39.640 because we've spent most of the money on building our 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:43.240 first house and now the second. Our family plan is 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:45.720 that we want to have three children back to back 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:49.160 once we turn thirty three and be completed by thirty eight. 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:52.320 By age thirty eight, as well as start our own 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:56.000 design business at Design Build Business. At the same time. 0:01:56.480 --> 0:01:59.000 I'm an architect, so we want to essentially develop my 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:02.400 designs and sell houses plans, et cetera. I've been using 0:02:02.440 --> 0:02:04.760 our own house and the next one as proof and 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:07.920 first trials. The reason we want to do this is 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:09.639 because we both hate our jobs and the amount of 0:02:09.680 --> 0:02:12.120 restriction they come with, and we hope to be able 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:15.160 to transition to doing life on our own terms. Is 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:18.639 there any advice y'all have as we embark on executing 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:23.400 this plan? Nandy, you have a husband with children starting 0:02:23.440 --> 0:02:25.680 your own business is really inspiring to me and Tiffany 0:02:25.919 --> 0:02:28.560 you are this kind open, insightful black woman business owner 0:02:28.600 --> 0:02:34.359 who has goals for me. Any advice y'all have? Whoo, planner, Patty, 0:02:34.880 --> 0:02:35.840 let's get into it. TIF. 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:39.560 So first reaction, well, first reaction, I'm just like reading 0:02:39.560 --> 0:02:40.720 the words of it, like okay. 0:02:42.280 --> 0:02:46.480 My first reaction is that kudos. 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:50.200 To you for being clear right about the desired outcome 0:02:50.240 --> 0:02:50.800 for your life. 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:52.359 That's one thing if you listened to with that. But 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:54.880 so earlier this week with Rachel Rogers, she said, say 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:57.480 the thing and the fact that this planet, Patty, you have 0:02:57.560 --> 0:02:59.840 said the thing. I own my own business with my 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:02.880 I want three kids. I want honestly, that's what you're 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:04.720 supposed to do. So kudos to you. 0:03:05.639 --> 0:03:07.360 So one of the things I've learned, just as a 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:10.519 business owner just life in general, is that it is 0:03:10.560 --> 0:03:13.240 important to have a framework but. 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:15.800 With a lot of flexibility. 0:03:16.040 --> 0:03:19.760 So I don't know, the part that struck me the 0:03:19.760 --> 0:03:22.360 most with the little Giggle is the three kids between 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:24.800 ages thirty three and thirty eight, because I don't want 0:03:24.800 --> 0:03:27.480 to say a giggle, like a nervous giggle because as 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:30.240 someone who tried to have like kids for like four 0:03:30.320 --> 0:03:32.880 years straight, ibf all the things and was not able 0:03:33.440 --> 0:03:36.840 to give birth to my own children because fertility was 0:03:36.880 --> 0:03:38.280 something I did not know that I was going to 0:03:38.280 --> 0:03:42.760 have an issue with. So the nervous giggle is the 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:45.320 the framework says I'd like to start a family, but 0:03:45.600 --> 0:03:49.560 the flexibility says, you don't know what could happen in 0:03:49.600 --> 0:03:52.800 that pursuit of starting. You might have you might have 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:55.080 one kid and then have triplets the next so now 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:55.560 you have four. 0:03:56.480 --> 0:03:58.839 You know what I mean, Like you might, you might, 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:02.240 you know, you might. I'm just saying you know, or 0:04:02.280 --> 0:04:03.600 you might have trouble, or you might not. 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:08.480 There's just especially with fertility, it is just a there's 0:04:08.520 --> 0:04:11.040 no way to know for sure. So that part is 0:04:11.080 --> 0:04:12.960 like and then also, I mean, Mandy's gonna speak to this. 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:15.040 I'm like three kids back to back and starting a 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:16.920 business during the same time. I'm go an pass the 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:21.360 baton of Mandy because she's like, girl, hey, b a fan, 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:24.520 We're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back. 0:04:27.480 --> 0:04:29.400 I'm glad you started out the way that you did, 0:04:29.440 --> 0:04:32.200 because it's true. We do encourage y'all to have plans, Yes, 0:04:32.360 --> 0:04:34.320 because I think you do want to design your life 0:04:34.960 --> 0:04:37.640 and it's great. I mean, honestly, I want a third kid. 0:04:37.680 --> 0:04:41.960 Have I said that out loud? The hormones with remy 0:04:42.040 --> 0:04:45.840 rue have just been really strong. My body is like 0:04:46.120 --> 0:04:50.279 make more, and it's I'm like, I'm trying to parse 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:53.760 out what is just you know, evolution ensuring the continuation 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:56.200 of the human race and my own personal desire. 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:57.920 Yes, because I'm not. 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:00.200 Clear on it and I refuse to act on it 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:03.719 until I am clear on it. But so far evolutions winning. 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:08.839 But yeah, so, but I never would have imagined myself 0:05:08.880 --> 0:05:13.159 wanting the three and and you know I would just 0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:15.800 to what Tiffany said, I think when it comes to 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:19.280 the children's part, having the kid's part, I would answer 0:05:19.279 --> 0:05:21.400 your question differently if you already had one or two. 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:24.000 But like you don't know yet. 0:05:23.720 --> 0:05:28.800 How having a child, just one, let alone three will 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:34.880 impact your personal life, your relationship, your the way that 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:38.760 you approach your business. Now, what I love about your 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:43.839 question is how you're setting yourself up to welcome children 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:48.280 and not have to also be hustling and starting. You know, 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:52.560 I wasn't necessarily, you know, starting a business from super 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:55.039 scratch after I had a kid. You know, a lot 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:57.880 of this. I was building the foundation of my business 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:00.440 before I even knew it, with brown ambition and you know, 0:06:00.480 --> 0:06:03.159 my journalism career and all of that. But you do 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:05.080 have like you're setting yourself up to be in a 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:08.200 position where it's not such a huge leap. You have 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:10.360 the skills, you're working as an architect now right, it's 0:06:10.400 --> 0:06:13.200 not such a huge leap to say, you know, you'll 0:06:13.200 --> 0:06:16.839 have your business later on. But and you go on 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:18.359 to your question. I didn't read all of it, but 0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:20.520 talking about how the nine to five grind is just 0:06:20.520 --> 0:06:23.640 not what you guys want, and I think having kids 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:26.320 will only make that even more apparent, because it is 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:29.480 really hard to even haven't there's no such thing. I 0:06:29.480 --> 0:06:31.440 don't think as a nine to five when you have kids, 0:06:31.480 --> 0:06:33.240 because they will just wreck with your They just play 0:06:33.240 --> 0:06:36.080 with your schedule like it's a bouncy ball and be like, hmm, 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:37.440 you thought this is how your day is going to 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:40.279 shake out. Nope, you got to leave work early, or nope, 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:41.800 you're gonna get there late because I'm going to have 0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:43.440 a tantrum on the way to the car and throw 0:06:43.480 --> 0:06:45.520 my shoes and the ditch and they're going to whatever, 0:06:45.960 --> 0:06:49.960 like they'll be something. But I would say, if you 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:55.719 are a planner, start therapy now because the one thing 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:58.039 that you're going to have to And I'm not saying 0:06:58.080 --> 0:06:59.560 I don't mean to be like I don't want to 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:03.200 be Patrick or I'm not saying this like I'm literally 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:07.880 saying I'm genuine about this. You'll need someone to help you, 0:07:09.680 --> 0:07:13.040 like help you find peace with the picture as it 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:15.120 ends up versus the picture that you have in your 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:17.760 mind right now. And it's not saying that you can't 0:07:17.760 --> 0:07:20.400 have this incredible life that you want with three kids 0:07:20.480 --> 0:07:23.160 and the home and all that that's incredible. You can 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:27.840 for sure do that, but along the way your journey, 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:29.840 like mentally, like that's what I want you to take 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:33.480 care of, and just make sure that that you're thriving 0:07:33.520 --> 0:07:36.280 and you're not just like focusing on this goal that 0:07:36.320 --> 0:07:38.280 you have in the distance and making that the thing 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:42.360 that you kind of like measure yourself against always and 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:46.320 be open to how that vision may change. After one kid, 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:50.640 after two, after three, whatever, and just be yeah, kind 0:07:50.680 --> 0:07:53.400 to yourself. But as you have this vision of your 0:07:53.440 --> 0:07:55.120 life that you want to right now, it sounds like 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:57.920 you're taking the steps to make it happen. And that 0:07:58.160 --> 0:08:01.760 is wonderful and that is great, and I feel like, dang, 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:04.520 maybe I should start figuring out how to get to 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:06.080 a place where I can have another one if I 0:08:06.120 --> 0:08:09.640 really want that. But at least for right now, just 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:13.040 know that there is space for you to make a 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:15.080 change later on if you want to. But as long 0:08:15.120 --> 0:08:17.520 as it's feeling good and you guys are happy and 0:08:17.560 --> 0:08:20.440 your husband's on board, you didn't mention if you want. 0:08:22.160 --> 0:08:23.840 Hey be a fan. We're going to take a quick 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:25.200 break and we'll be right back. 0:08:27.880 --> 0:08:29.640 Well, can I let me ask you a question, Mandy. 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:31.280 So, one of the things the planning Patty said is 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:33.959 that she wanted to have the kids and start the 0:08:34.040 --> 0:08:37.040 design firm at the at the same time. Like, I 0:08:37.080 --> 0:08:39.960 know you, you know, so, I know you said that 0:08:40.040 --> 0:08:43.840 you kind of like pre started because we had brown ambition. 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:50.160 And so is your suggestion that maybe before starting to 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:53.160 have the kids, consider like some some more seeding into 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:57.040 the business or have the kids first, like what like 0:08:57.040 --> 0:08:59.800 like where would you suggest like based upon your experience, 0:08:59.800 --> 0:09:00.760 I was everybody's different. 0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:04.000 No thanks, because when I'm reading the questions sometimes it's 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:06.120 hard to like hear it at the same time. But 0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:11.080 you're right at the same time. I well the fact 0:09:11.120 --> 0:09:13.160 that you're using She says, she's using the house she 0:09:13.240 --> 0:09:15.680 has now in the second house as like a trial 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:19.480 house to show proof, so she could have as much 0:09:19.520 --> 0:09:21.800 as you. I just don't want you to think, and 0:09:22.080 --> 0:09:24.640 definitely don't think this that after you have the kid 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:27.520 and you have maternity leave, which you know your job 0:09:27.559 --> 0:09:30.319 will sponsor you for I'm assuming that you'll have all 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:34.040 this time to make your business and post the content 0:09:34.200 --> 0:09:36.679 to get the start your funnel and your email. 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:36.480 And. 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:43.400 You will so not you will have something like time, 0:09:43.720 --> 0:09:46.280 but it's not going to be like whole brain time. 0:09:47.120 --> 0:09:49.160 I would encourage at least, and I'll just say it 0:09:49.200 --> 0:09:51.360 for myself, if I could do anything differently, I would 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:56.160 have done so much more work before I had and 0:09:56.200 --> 0:09:58.200 I was working. But I would have done a lot more, 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:01.600 put a lot more into the businesses that I had 0:10:01.640 --> 0:10:04.880 and could have had before kids, just because that one 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:08.200 hundred percent of my brain that just doesn't exist anymore. 0:10:08.240 --> 0:10:11.960 I'll ever really get time with I maybe get little 0:10:11.960 --> 0:10:15.079 moments and glimmers of focused work, but you don't get 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:17.679 that when you after you have kids, and sometimes you 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:20.480 don't want to because it's so fun if you enjoy it. 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:22.199 It's fun having kids. I want to go to the zoo. 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:23.520 And I remember Mom told me that. 0:10:23.559 --> 0:10:24.640 She was like, that was one of because you know, 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:26.480 my mom has five and one of the pieces of 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:30.559 advice she gave to all her girls was try to 0:10:30.559 --> 0:10:34.160 finish your education if possible before children, meaning like whatever 0:10:34.200 --> 0:10:36.600 these kind of essentially she's saying, like whatever those kind 0:10:36.640 --> 0:10:38.920 of like dream goal thing, not that you stop it, 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:40.960 but to get the hardest parts out of the way, 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:44.000 she said, because you know, children take up a lot 0:10:44.000 --> 0:10:45.600 of time and space, but not in a bad way. 0:10:46.120 --> 0:10:47.800 It's like, you know, to your point, she's like, you know, 0:10:48.280 --> 0:10:51.040 you know, you guys were great, but I realized that, 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:54.640 like literally, she was taking her nursing final when her 0:10:54.640 --> 0:10:55.319 water broke. 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:57.520 With me, I don't know how that lady did it. 0:10:58.000 --> 0:11:01.000 And so she's just like it it's really hard, like 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:03.079 you know, to be doing all the practical and all 0:11:03.080 --> 0:11:04.800 this other stuff and you've got a newborn at home 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:07.560 and a two year old, and so she's just like, 0:11:07.600 --> 0:11:09.160 you know, knowing what I know now, I would have 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:13.040 tried to get the harder parts of the whatever growth development. 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:15.120 I mean, obviously you go your whole life out of 0:11:15.120 --> 0:11:18.040 the way first when you really can't spend one hundred percent. 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:21.440 So I mean, I can't speak from experience in that place, 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:23.440 but I can just say just from hearing from the 0:11:23.440 --> 0:11:26.040 moms around me. And now you've heard from Mandy that 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:28.880 you know, maybe leaning it a little more into the 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:32.240 business part now, getting something a little bit more established, 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:33.760 to be like, oh okay, okay, So that way when 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:36.800 the baby comes, you know, God willing that you know 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:39.319 you have you have a little more established, so you're 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:41.079 not trying to establish both at the same time, a. 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:41.959 Family and a business. 0:11:42.040 --> 0:11:46.640 Not that it's impossible, but certainly it'll likely be more challenging. 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:52.040 Yeah, there's something your body will change or you're assuming 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:55.280 you'll have am like not a normal but a conventional 0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:59.360 healthy pregnancy. It'll all go to plan And yeah, you 0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:02.000 can plan a business, but you can't plan I don't 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:05.000 think anything at pregnancy and beyond. But I think if 0:12:05.000 --> 0:12:07.080 you're a planner, Patty, I would just get your fix 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:10.000 for all the dots being connected from your business and 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:12.520 from that, because it is so satisfying when you're like, 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:14.679 if I do this, then I make that, and it 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:17.280 all kind of links together. Kids ain't like that. So 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:20.079 do all that now while you can, and really relish 0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:22.400 it and set yourself up so that when you have kids, 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:25.000 your business is kind of like moving and grooving and 0:12:25.040 --> 0:12:27.920 you're not having to you know, build the canoe while 0:12:27.920 --> 0:12:29.120 you're paddling. 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:30.720 Or with a baby arms. 0:12:32.000 --> 0:12:32.920 You won't drown. 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:37.239 You and that baby's don't float like heard about you. 0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:37.439 Like not. 0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:41.079 Like baby Moses in a basket? 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:45.480 Is that how Moses got to be? I don't have 0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:48.960 the biblical story anyway. Thank you for your question, playing 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:52.559 your patty, and I hope that well, first you've inspired. 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:54.520 I hope a lot of people would just like get 0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:57.959 the shit done. Yes, but all I'll say is send me, 0:12:58.120 --> 0:13:00.440 send us a follow up when you're thirty three and 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:02.960 a half or whatever, thirty four, Yes, let us know 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:03.560 how that goes. 0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:06.720 Framework with lots of flexibility. So yeah, we wish you 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:10.239 well do all right, Well, that is the show. 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:15.120 Sorry manager, next day, next pet what no, no? 0:13:15.160 --> 0:13:16.320 I said? Sorry I cut you off. 0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:18.240 Oh, no, I cut you off. 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:21.160 Thanks, y'all buy you 0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:23.440 Just like that.