1 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: Wine down with Janet Kramer, and I heard radio podcast 2 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:09,559 Speaker 1: clearly Catherine and I, well, you guys can't really see this, 3 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: but um, it's like sweater weather, but it's not. It is. 4 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: How how hot is it? Right now? We're still look 5 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 1: this up right now. I'm actually spending but I'm always 6 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: spending it here because I keep the house. It feels 7 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,319 Speaker 1: like eighty three, which is actually kind of cold for 8 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: Nashville because it's been like a hundred and three. We'll 9 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: see seventy nine then feels okay. Alright, so um, but 10 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:37,080 Speaker 1: we're both wearing big sweatshirts and we're ready for fall. 11 00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:41,879 Speaker 1: Ready it's been so so ready, very excited because we've 12 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:44,600 Speaker 1: got Audrina on from the Hills. Um. She's got a 13 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,840 Speaker 1: new book out, which, um, I'm very excited to read 14 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 1: because she does not hold back and I love that 15 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: about her because she's sharing. It's called Choices, To the 16 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,600 Speaker 1: Hills and Back Again. And I believe she's in the 17 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:13,080 Speaker 1: waiting room, so let's just pop her on. Hi, can 18 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 1: you hear me? I can hear you where it's the 19 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:20,480 Speaker 1: pretty face, Oh my goodness, the tired face here, no 20 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 1: stop it. You look beautiful, but Honestly, I feel that 21 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:25,959 Speaker 1: right now because I was just like, god, I look 22 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,479 Speaker 1: shiny and like I just put my kids down five 23 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 1: minutes early for nap time because I'm like, yeah, I 24 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 1: just set here up in her room. I'm like, guld 25 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:36,959 Speaker 1: me like twenty minutes with the dog and watch a movie. 26 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,440 Speaker 1: I know that's this is my best friend Catherine by 27 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 1: the way, um, but yeah, it's one of those things 28 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,679 Speaker 1: where because I knew we had this, thank you for 29 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 1: changing the time too. But I was like, oh my gosh, 30 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 1: I don't I don't have my someone who was helping 31 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: me during the summer. She left, and so I was 32 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 1: just like, okay, twelve o'clock, but jas's napps at twelve. 33 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: But then I gotta put the like popping the crate. 34 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 1: I gotta put it given I I had a Joel 35 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 1: because I think daughters around the same age six. And 36 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:07,840 Speaker 1: then I'm like Russian Cabins, like we got this. I've 37 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 1: helped for sure. I don't know you. It's hard, and 38 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,560 Speaker 1: you know, I don't really have a lot of help either. 39 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: I have my family, but they're all you know, they 40 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 1: all have their own lives too, so and Kura's so 41 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: picky about who she wants her, you know, wants to 42 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:27,639 Speaker 1: She's like, I like her, but I don't like her. 43 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,839 Speaker 1: In two hours, I'm gonna count down. I'm like, oh 44 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 1: my gosh, Well that's good that she's very vocal about like, 45 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:36,840 Speaker 1: you know what she wants. That's that's a that's a 46 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 1: good that's a good thing. What is your what is 47 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:43,960 Speaker 1: your custody split? Um? I have her full time, full time? Okay, 48 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:50,120 Speaker 1: that is so that's a lot. Yeah, and then um, 49 00:02:50,160 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 1: hi talking about something else, Okay, thank you. I brought 50 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:05,519 Speaker 1: her oatmeal in her room and I was like, here, 51 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:08,080 Speaker 1: just have some oatmeal. So she painting her nails and 52 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 1: brought her oatmeal back out. She's so funny. Yeah, So 53 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 1: I have her seven and then um, she like has 54 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,639 Speaker 1: a FaceTime with her dad every now and then or 55 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 1: whenever he wants to visit. Mm hmm kind of whenever 56 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: it's up to him. How has that been on you? 57 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 1: Just having because I mean I'll say, um, I mean 58 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:32,800 Speaker 1: I have seventy thirty. So I've got seventy and it's um, 59 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,160 Speaker 1: I remember the first year having it. It's just a lot, right, 60 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 1: you're not used to having. And then I don't have 61 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 1: a nanny. I don't have, um, my family doesn't live here, 62 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 1: so it's it's a it's it's a lot. Yeah, that 63 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 1: would be a lot, and I can't imagine, you know. 64 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: But I also like, you mean, you look like an 65 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: amazing mom obviously, and um so, but how do you 66 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: like handle when you just like a Fortunately I have 67 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: my family, Like my brother lives one min it down 68 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 1: the street, and um, they have a six year old, 69 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 1: of five year old and a four year old, so 70 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 1: she she's like so close to them. And then my 71 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 1: other sister lives in Laguna, so like twenty minutes from here, 72 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 1: and she has three kids. And then my other sister 73 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:20,160 Speaker 1: has twins, so we're all so close. So if anything. 74 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 1: Sometimes I just I was like, I I need I 75 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 1: just need, like like two hours, three hours ago, my 76 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:28,800 Speaker 1: nails done. I just need to like have a moment. 77 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:30,520 Speaker 1: So I'll go and drop her off with one of 78 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: them and just take time. But now it's like getting 79 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 1: into this dating world and trying to navigate that is 80 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 1: so unbelievably hard. And I tried to look up a 81 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 1: book about it and there's nothing. I'm like, I need tips, 82 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,480 Speaker 1: Like I have no idea how to do that are 83 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: you sorry? Are you dating anyone right now? Yeah? And 84 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: have you been public about them? No? No, okay. I 85 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 1: was like wait a minute. I was like, I know 86 00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 1: we follow each other, and I'm like, I'm all, I haven't. 87 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 1: But I'm like, okay, how how many months? Um, it's 88 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 1: been a few months. But it's just like, um, we've 89 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,520 Speaker 1: been hanging out. It's just trying to figure out, like 90 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,480 Speaker 1: I'll go to l A or I'll rush somewhere for 91 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,720 Speaker 1: like you know, I'm going to l A. Sometimes it's 92 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 1: two hours in traffic, hang out for a couple of hours, 93 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 1: and then I have to rush back. But the whole 94 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:23,839 Speaker 1: time I'm being texted or like when are you coming back? 95 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:27,040 Speaker 1: Kira wants to you, and it's like I just got here, 96 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,800 Speaker 1: give me like an hour and a half. I'll be there, 97 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 1: I promise. How has he met your daughter? No? No, no, no? Yeah? 98 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. How do you give you some advice? I 99 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 1: know you've dated someone girlfriend well, but that I have. 100 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 1: I have so much regret introducing my kids to him 101 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 1: that fast. I mean, it wasn't fast fast, but it 102 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:53,280 Speaker 1: was like, you know, a little over a month and 103 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 1: a half, and or was maybe like it was bad. 104 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 1: I should not have done that. I think I just 105 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:03,360 Speaker 1: got so wrapped up in love the first time, you know, feeling. 106 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,920 Speaker 1: But I mean I saw all the signs in the beginning, 107 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,800 Speaker 1: and I should have been like I should have seen that. 108 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:10,480 Speaker 1: I was just I was. I was so blinded by 109 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:13,559 Speaker 1: certain things just because I wanted it so bad. Yeah, 110 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:17,000 Speaker 1: and but now it's like, oh, I will never I 111 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 1: will never fall into that mistake again, or yeah, I 112 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 1: think what do you think? Right? It's like if your 113 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:29,159 Speaker 1: kids get attached to someone and then it ends, it's like, 114 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 1: how is that going to affect them in their future? 115 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:34,240 Speaker 1: And like who they end, like their love and like 116 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:39,919 Speaker 1: how they deal with things you don't know. Luckily, Yeah, luckily, 117 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 1: I've become friends with that person's ex wife and so 118 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 1: we still let the kids hang out together. So that's 119 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 1: been great because they never really they never asked about him. 120 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,479 Speaker 1: They only asked about the daughter. So and then we 121 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:55,360 Speaker 1: became we had a lot in common, So you got 122 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 1: a friendship, all right. I know. It's like how cool that. 123 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 1: I just can understand stand though as a mom, like 124 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:05,280 Speaker 1: you want to see how it's going to work together 125 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,280 Speaker 1: with the kids, because I mean, I was on that 126 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,160 Speaker 1: boat of like don't ever. But then I'm like, how 127 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,600 Speaker 1: do you know if it's even good? Like what if 128 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: you what if the kids hate each other? Right? And 129 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: what if like you know, because it's like you have 130 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 1: to see like how they are around the kids. So 131 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 1: it's like if they're not good around the kids, and 132 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 1: it's like, well that shoot, I just I've been dating 133 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 1: you for six months. Now I really like you, but 134 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 1: now you kind of now I just waited six months 135 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 1: because really it's I think for me, it's going to 136 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,960 Speaker 1: be in a it'll have to be in a group setting, 137 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 1: you know. So how are you with um seeing all 138 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 1: the news articles that have been picking up from your book? 139 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 1: I mean, first of all, congrats on your book coming out. 140 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 1: Does that give you anxiety? Though? Yeah, I'm not reading 141 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 1: any of it because I feel like there's so many 142 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:54,880 Speaker 1: headlines that will take one thing or like yeah I 143 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 1: went on a couple of days with Chris fine, or 144 00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 1: I'm met Leo, Like it's not all they take those 145 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 1: small things and like blow it up. So there and 146 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 1: then little things about Lauren and like if you actually 147 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 1: read it, it's really not that like but it's great. 148 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 1: I mean, I guess the headlines makes for a good 149 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 1: cliffhanger of people wanting to read the book information, But 150 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 1: I just honestly, I don't. I don't read any of it. 151 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 1: I just I did it, and then I just like 152 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 1: that's that. I just bubble. So I'm obviously I've I've 153 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 1: been following your journey. I feel connected to you on 154 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 1: the levels of what you've been through in relationships and 155 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,480 Speaker 1: when you were writing this book, was there a piece 156 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,880 Speaker 1: of you that well, actually, I want to back up 157 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:47,840 Speaker 1: even further when you talk about abuse, was it Did 158 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:51,560 Speaker 1: he ever acknowledge the abuse and actually say like, yes, 159 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,840 Speaker 1: I abused you. No, it was always my fault for 160 00:08:55,000 --> 00:09:00,200 Speaker 1: something like I didn't give him enough attention, or I 161 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,959 Speaker 1: didn't answer all of his calls, or it was always 162 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,600 Speaker 1: something I did where it's like you start questioning yourself, 163 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 1: like well, maybe I do deserve this, or maybe I'm 164 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 1: not good enough for I'm not working hard enough to 165 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 1: make this a better relationship. Like you start taking it on, 166 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: like blaming yourself, and and then you start believing it 167 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 1: and you're constantly trying to change yourself to make someone 168 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: else happy. So yeah, and I also think too, I 169 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,880 Speaker 1: remember talking to my therapist at one point and I'm like, well, 170 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:33,079 Speaker 1: he just pushed me, and she's like what, Like, that's 171 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,040 Speaker 1: that's abuse. But I'm like, but it wasn't, like he 172 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,440 Speaker 1: didn't hit and it's like it's they make you feel 173 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 1: like that. Okay, well you were the one or you know, 174 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 1: so it's a very that you deserved it because you 175 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 1: made me mad kind of thing. Yeah, did you ever 176 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 1: watch Made No, it's a good show that was. You 177 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:54,439 Speaker 1: need to watch that because it really touched on more 178 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 1: emotional and verbal abuse. But it was it shined a 179 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 1: light to say, this is still abuse. Whether you get fist, 180 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:07,760 Speaker 1: hand fist, clothes punched to your face or a push 181 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,079 Speaker 1: or you know that or the intent or he's blacked 182 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:14,400 Speaker 1: like that is still abuse. And I think so many 183 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:15,840 Speaker 1: I know I have to I'm like, well, he didn't 184 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 1: choke me this time. He just pushed me, like you know. 185 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:19,680 Speaker 1: And then and then well it was kind of my 186 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,839 Speaker 1: fault because I was screaming or you know, and they 187 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 1: just make you feel like it's your fault. So thank 188 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 1: you for sharing that, And now how do you deal 189 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:33,400 Speaker 1: with that moving forward into a healthy relationship. Well, I've 190 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 1: done so much shealing. I mean I haven't really been 191 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 1: with anyone, like in a serious relationship at all. So 192 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:45,560 Speaker 1: it's been almost like five years. Oh my gosh, yeah 193 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 1: almost five years. Um, and so I haven't the last guy. 194 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: I kind of like I went on a date with 195 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:55,000 Speaker 1: a few dates, and like for me, it's you know, 196 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 1: whenever you're a mom, like you don't consistently date someone 197 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 1: or see someone every day or I've the other day, 198 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,160 Speaker 1: it's like once a week or once every two weeks. 199 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 1: And that's kind of how I was three years ago. 200 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 1: So the guy was dating then, Um, I just started. 201 00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:15,200 Speaker 1: I started seeing signs of of just like control and 202 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 1: wanting to push and move too fast, and that for me, 203 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: I was like, nope, I'm done, this is over, like 204 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: not doing this again. So I think now I noticed 205 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:27,200 Speaker 1: so many signs from going to therapy and just working 206 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:30,640 Speaker 1: on myself and learning to love myself and SETI and 207 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,319 Speaker 1: not people please are giving because you feel like you're 208 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 1: gonna hurt someone's feelings. Um, and I just get out 209 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,200 Speaker 1: of there. But now it's like now I run too fast, 210 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 1: you know. I I hear you so much Like if 211 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:47,839 Speaker 1: I feel like if I was healed and took more time, 212 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,640 Speaker 1: I would have seen the signs gotten out and not 213 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 1: you know, just still believe certain things about myself. But 214 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,240 Speaker 1: it's interesting now. And you make that point is because 215 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 1: I was almost gonna say to you too, um after 216 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 1: this when we do our catchup, is like I'm almost 217 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 1: afraid I'm never going to let someone in again because 218 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:09,960 Speaker 1: I'm just so I'm so um guarded guarded, it's not 219 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 1: even guarded. I hold so much space and sacred space 220 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:17,720 Speaker 1: for like my house and my surroundings, and I like, 221 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:21,640 Speaker 1: I like being alone, like I had got on this date. Um. 222 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:24,640 Speaker 1: It was our second date, and honestly, in my gut, 223 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't I don't want him here right now, 224 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:29,920 Speaker 1: like I I. But I'm like I've never told someone 225 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:32,959 Speaker 1: to leave ever, and so I think he was like 226 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 1: kind of sense in my vibe and he was like, 227 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,880 Speaker 1: do you want me to leave? And I'm like, okay, 228 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,480 Speaker 1: Old Janna would be like no, that's fine, like because 229 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,920 Speaker 1: I feel bad or you know, or I'll just go 230 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: sleep or I don't know whatever I'm like, but I 231 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,640 Speaker 1: was like no, like this is my opportunity to do 232 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 1: it different. And I was like, yeah, I do, like 233 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 1: I want to be alone and I just remember being 234 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 1: like so feeling so empowered and it felt so healthy 235 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:59,520 Speaker 1: and good. He didn't like that, but that's not mine 236 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,720 Speaker 1: to take gone, right, So that's what I started to 237 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,880 Speaker 1: realize to him, like I can speak my truth and 238 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 1: then not take on what their feelings are. Like I know, 239 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,680 Speaker 1: I was still nice. I was just like, yeah, I 240 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:13,840 Speaker 1: mean for you to just want to be alone, realize 241 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,840 Speaker 1: that and to put your foot down, like that's so 242 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:19,000 Speaker 1: good for you to do it, because then it gives 243 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 1: you that confidence and that security that you can do 244 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 1: that and it's okay. Well, and here's the thing that 245 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,079 Speaker 1: I'll say to what you said though, is like you 246 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,080 Speaker 1: will it just you will let someone in. I know 247 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,920 Speaker 1: I will in time to but it's not. And another 248 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,760 Speaker 1: thing too, that we we have our kids, right, I'm 249 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,360 Speaker 1: sure I don't know if you do want another kid. 250 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:41,319 Speaker 1: I do like a couple more, but if not, I'm 251 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,480 Speaker 1: good with one. Right. And so it's like you don't 252 00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:45,280 Speaker 1: have to you know now that you don't have to 253 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 1: settle for someone like you get to like you get 254 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:52,440 Speaker 1: to have that checklist and go okay, like I don't 255 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:56,079 Speaker 1: have to settle for for anybody I know. And I 256 00:13:56,120 --> 00:14:01,840 Speaker 1: think the guy has he's making the list like, how 257 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:05,120 Speaker 1: did you meet him? Was it on Riya? No, I've 258 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 1: never been on any dating sites. Um, but i really 259 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 1: like him and he's really nice and I've been taking 260 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:15,680 Speaker 1: things super slowful of that and so patient, which is great. Um, 261 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 1: it's just like this figuring out how to navigate, how 262 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,760 Speaker 1: to hang out without like rushing away, like leaving all 263 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 1: the time, and like Okay, you gotta go by, and 264 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,400 Speaker 1: like having time to hang out before she wants you 265 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,440 Speaker 1: back and I'm together to you know, getting to know 266 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:34,360 Speaker 1: each other and hanging out. It's so hard. So I 267 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 1: don't know if you could go back to the Hills era, 268 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:47,600 Speaker 1: what would you change personally the Hills era? UM, I 269 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,720 Speaker 1: feel like I would say no and stick to my nose, 270 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:54,880 Speaker 1: even with the producers being pressured into situations or being 271 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:56,720 Speaker 1: with someone that I didn't want to be with our 272 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,200 Speaker 1: fight over, I would say no, my nose know, and 273 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 1: I'm not doing instead of being like, well, okay, it's 274 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 1: going to be good for the ratings, I'll just do it, 275 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:07,320 Speaker 1: and then it gives my gives everybody in the world 276 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 1: this picture of me that I'm not or that's not 277 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 1: really really happened, and at the time, I didn't get 278 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,680 Speaker 1: to clear that up because you're under contract. So once 279 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,120 Speaker 1: the show ended, we were all just like, oh, we 280 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:23,600 Speaker 1: could speak our truth, like that's what really happened. Um, 281 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,840 Speaker 1: but yeah, it's just like saying no and not falling 282 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:29,840 Speaker 1: into peer pressure or not people pleasing and just owning 283 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,880 Speaker 1: who I was and not like being confused or like 284 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:36,720 Speaker 1: being pulled in different directions. And just like after it ended, 285 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,480 Speaker 1: I felt so lost. I didn't know who I was 286 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 1: or what I wanted. And it's just like I'm sitting 287 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 1: there like, well, now what I've done this for so long, 288 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:48,120 Speaker 1: and now I don't know what to do, Like no 289 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 1: one's calling me and telling me where to be or 290 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 1: what I have to do right now. It's so crazy. 291 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 1: So I had to find myself again. Sure, yeah, sometimes 292 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 1: it's really good to say now and stick with it 293 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:00,880 Speaker 1: and stick with it. I know that's always my problem. 294 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:06,040 Speaker 1: I'm like, no, well, I know, I mean that would 295 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 1: be hard on the show just see if I could 296 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 1: make work. So that's why I just don't think I 297 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:13,240 Speaker 1: could ever do like because I'm just so I I 298 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 1: read all the stuff and like it's just like I'm 299 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,360 Speaker 1: like but that's not who like, that's not what I meant, 300 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,680 Speaker 1: or that's not like even when they pick certain things up, 301 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,520 Speaker 1: it's like, but you know, so we have to have 302 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 1: real thick skin for that. Yeah. Yeah, I always don't 303 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,680 Speaker 1: read it, but I don't know how. Also, just creating 304 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:33,480 Speaker 1: habits and working that no muscle over and over and 305 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 1: over to the point where you're so comfortable saying no, 306 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 1: I'm good, that's it. No, it's no. Yeah, And well 307 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,240 Speaker 1: I think now I've gotten to that place because and 308 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:46,280 Speaker 1: now I'm very confident in what I say and sticking 309 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,880 Speaker 1: to it, which is which is nice. Back then absolutely not. 310 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:53,800 Speaker 1: But were you, um, were you afraid to write about 311 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:57,680 Speaker 1: the abuse in the book at all? With I'm relating 312 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 1: to your daughter too? But yeah, I mean I didn't 313 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:03,520 Speaker 1: even really want to include that in there. But if 314 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:07,440 Speaker 1: you google, it's out there. It's already out there. So 315 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,120 Speaker 1: the book writer I was working with, who was amazing. 316 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 1: She's like, Audrina, this is out there. Is in the 317 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,119 Speaker 1: police report, it's in the declaration, it's in all the 318 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 1: court documents. It's not something you could just pretend didn't happen. Um, 319 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,320 Speaker 1: And I you know, that was such a pivotal moment 320 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 1: in my life that helped me with what I needed, 321 00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,280 Speaker 1: and like just that was it for me. That was 322 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:33,960 Speaker 1: the last straw. So as much as I didn't want 323 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,480 Speaker 1: to include any of that and just pretend it didn't happen, 324 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,080 Speaker 1: it did happen and it did affect me on so 325 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:42,879 Speaker 1: many levels. And you know, there's pros and cons to it, 326 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:46,199 Speaker 1: and for me, it like helped me. That was it, Like, 327 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:49,880 Speaker 1: you can't there's got to be you can't just keep 328 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:53,920 Speaker 1: putting up with abuse like that, whether it's emotional, verbal, physical. 329 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,639 Speaker 1: You have to not isolate and get your friends. You 330 00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 1: need help, you need someone to pull you out. And 331 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 1: so times for me, I didn't want to call the 332 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,679 Speaker 1: police because I knew it would go public. So I 333 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:09,600 Speaker 1: kept trying to hide everything for so long and it 334 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 1: just got to a point where it's like enough is enough. 335 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,879 Speaker 1: I can't do this anymore. What was your enough? Like 336 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:18,359 Speaker 1: do you remember the moment where you're just like, okay, enough, Well, 337 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 1: there's a lot of moments, but it's just like being 338 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,120 Speaker 1: woken up in the middle of the night, being cussed at, 339 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,639 Speaker 1: calling being called names, and it's like I've been sleeping, 340 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,160 Speaker 1: Like what are you talk like you're the one out 341 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,479 Speaker 1: partying till four in the morning with who knows you know, 342 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:38,399 Speaker 1: doing whatever. Um, it's just the constant accusations and telling 343 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,840 Speaker 1: me that no one will ever love me and I'll 344 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,760 Speaker 1: never be good enough for anyone that I am, you know, 345 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,960 Speaker 1: just all the name calling, in the belittling, it just 346 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,280 Speaker 1: you start to believe it. And I just started to 347 00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:54,040 Speaker 1: cave in and isolate, and I was losing so much 348 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 1: weight and I just wasn't myself. My strength was gone, 349 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,240 Speaker 1: but I had strength for my daughter and she was 350 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 1: still a baby. And for me, it's like I don't 351 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,920 Speaker 1: ever want her right now. She doesn't realize what's going on, 352 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,480 Speaker 1: but I don't ever want her to have to experience 353 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,200 Speaker 1: that or see someone treat me like that and think 354 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:15,399 Speaker 1: it's okay. So that gave me strength and being like 355 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,920 Speaker 1: enough is enough. My daughter will never see this. She's 356 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,240 Speaker 1: going to be strong, she'll never let anyone treat her 357 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 1: like this. And for me, that's what helped me be 358 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:28,119 Speaker 1: get out of it. And just I did give a 359 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,240 Speaker 1: hundred and twenty percent. I went to therapy, I did 360 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:35,160 Speaker 1: everything I possibly could to make sure I did everything 361 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,520 Speaker 1: so I could walk away knowing like I gave, I 362 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:39,879 Speaker 1: gave it all I had, and so this is it. 363 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:44,800 Speaker 1: I'm never turning back. I love. Yeah, good for you. Yeah, 364 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:49,479 Speaker 1: kids have a way of really help, you know, helping 365 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 1: you find that strength. I feel like, I mean, you 366 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,000 Speaker 1: have to do it for your kids. You do. And 367 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,960 Speaker 1: I remember the first time, you know, I was crying 368 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,240 Speaker 1: and I went in Kira's room. I went in her 369 00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:02,480 Speaker 1: room and I shut the door, and he kept following me, 370 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,520 Speaker 1: and I was just broke. I finally just broke down, 371 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,920 Speaker 1: but I couldn't like run from her. You know. She 372 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:14,440 Speaker 1: started consoling me, like patting me, and like, I'm so 373 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,640 Speaker 1: glad that you shared that. I know that that has 374 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 1: to feel somewhat empowering to and also you're going to 375 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,680 Speaker 1: help so many people. Yeah. I was at actually at 376 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:28,119 Speaker 1: a book signing UM and Jersey the other day and 377 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,120 Speaker 1: this lady came up and she was just started crying 378 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 1: and I had to give up, get up and give 379 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,840 Speaker 1: her a hug. She's like, you know my daughter, and 380 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:39,320 Speaker 1: I She's like I was, I went through domestic abuse, 381 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,520 Speaker 1: and she's like it was physical, it was like it 382 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:46,120 Speaker 1: was worse than what you went through, but like it 383 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,480 Speaker 1: was just that feeling and just reading your book and 384 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:52,399 Speaker 1: knowing that I have felt that before, She's like it 385 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:55,480 Speaker 1: gave me the chills, and like she just started crying 386 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,240 Speaker 1: and then I almost started crying. So there's so many 387 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,280 Speaker 1: people out there that that need to hear it and 388 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 1: need to talk about it. You can't hide it, don't 389 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:07,640 Speaker 1: be ashamed of it. Don't feel humiliated. Like everybody has 390 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:11,879 Speaker 1: gone through something and it is embarrassing if you're going 391 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 1: through it and you want to hide it. But there's 392 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,160 Speaker 1: so many people out there that are going they're going 393 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:21,359 Speaker 1: through the same thing that need help. And you know 394 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,639 Speaker 1: it's not the end. There's light at the end of 395 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,280 Speaker 1: the tunnel. You just have to be strong and there's 396 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,520 Speaker 1: For me, it was going to church and God and 397 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,080 Speaker 1: therapy in my family. That's what helped pull me out 398 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,399 Speaker 1: of it. Would you say that's kind of the message 399 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:37,960 Speaker 1: your overall message of the book. Yeah, And I talked 400 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,479 Speaker 1: about that too, Like I go to saddle Back with 401 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,679 Speaker 1: Rick Warren and I just his message. Like I literally 402 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:47,679 Speaker 1: would go by myself all the time. I just I 403 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,800 Speaker 1: went to Bible studies, small groups, everything, and I would 404 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,119 Speaker 1: just I always would just cry and I just just 405 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:57,720 Speaker 1: just overwhelming feeling and then the goose bumps knowing that 406 00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:59,840 Speaker 1: you're not alone and God's with you. It was just 407 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:03,359 Speaker 1: very healing. And the people that were there that helped 408 00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:05,800 Speaker 1: me through it like understood what I was going through, 409 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:13,919 Speaker 1: so there's no judgment. Mm hmm, that's great. It was healing. 410 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,240 Speaker 1: I mean, I I love you and I'm just I'm 411 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,919 Speaker 1: I'm rooting for you, and um, I cannot wait to 412 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:23,320 Speaker 1: read your book. I feel like I know you and 413 00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:25,679 Speaker 1: we've never out. I know, That's why I'm like, but 414 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,400 Speaker 1: I'm just like, I'm always like, I know, we're Instagram 415 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 1: and I've never met our first time, we have a 416 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,880 Speaker 1: we have a very similar past, and yeah, but that's 417 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:37,800 Speaker 1: why I'm like, I feel like we're friends. But I'm like, 418 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,919 Speaker 1: I know, I've been trying to plan a trip to 419 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:46,000 Speaker 1: Nashville because Jason and actually lived there and Heari's friends 420 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,280 Speaker 1: with Delilah, so we've been trying to get out there. 421 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,000 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna let you know when we are. Just 422 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:51,960 Speaker 1: come stay at my place. Let's do it, just come 423 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:56,600 Speaker 1: stay hang out. Well, just like exactly, they'd be besties, 424 00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:59,680 Speaker 1: all right, Well, we know you're a busy lady, so um, 425 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,720 Speaker 1: they thank you for like this is like no, um, 426 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:08,520 Speaker 1: you are amazing, and yeah, we'll come come come see 427 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,560 Speaker 1: me in Nashville and we'll hang out. I will. I'll 428 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:13,159 Speaker 1: write you. We'll figure something out because we got to 429 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,480 Speaker 1: hang out. I love it. I'm proud of you and 430 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 1: I'm excited for you. And have give yourself like a 431 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,200 Speaker 1: good like to night over night or in l A 432 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,120 Speaker 1: with the new dude. Okay, just like just tell you, 433 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,840 Speaker 1: just be like, hey, s see, you might just have 434 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:30,959 Speaker 1: to hire someone. You might just have to get somebody 435 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,040 Speaker 1: that can you get you can do it. You did 436 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:37,160 Speaker 1: because I know, actually I do. I need to. Well, 437 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,919 Speaker 1: I have someone that helps to. It's just I've just 438 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:41,440 Speaker 1: gotta do it. You just gotta do it. It's the 439 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 1: only way you're gonna be able to do. Yeah, you're 440 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,359 Speaker 1: on a heart journey, so it and I mean, girl's 441 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:53,439 Speaker 1: gotta get late. Everyone smile alright, and there's for you. 442 00:23:54,960 --> 00:24:12,200 Speaker 1: All right, girlfriend, have a great day. Okay bye. Oh. 443 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:17,040 Speaker 1: I love her. She's so pretty. She's beautiful. I know 444 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:20,320 Speaker 1: she's so pretty. And also I feel like it's hard. 445 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,159 Speaker 1: I'm like laughing. I'm like I got fifty fifty and 446 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,480 Speaker 1: when I had the kids. I'm like overwhelmed, and she's 447 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:30,000 Speaker 1: like seven, can only leave the kid for two hours. 448 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:35,639 Speaker 1: I'm like, holy crap, you go. Yeah, it's impressive, She's 449 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:40,120 Speaker 1: she's awesome. I'm just, um, yeah, there's so many more 450 00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 1: things I wanted to ask her. At the same time, 451 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,440 Speaker 1: it's like they're they're doing so much tea about the 452 00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:47,959 Speaker 1: Hills and the seven and like this like that to me, 453 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,919 Speaker 1: I like, I don't It's not that I don't care 454 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 1: about it. I care about who, like who she is today, right, well, 455 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,919 Speaker 1: and she's doing yeah, I mean it sounds like some 456 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,280 Speaker 1: of that just wasn't real anyway. So it's like her 457 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,760 Speaker 1: celebrate who she is and what she's doing. Now I 458 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:07,560 Speaker 1: agree with that. Yeah, we're we're best friends. I love it. 459 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,160 Speaker 1: I know, I was like, right, I like your friends. Well, 460 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,200 Speaker 1: we like are ish. I think I can't remember who 461 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:16,639 Speaker 1: started who followed who first, but we just yeah, we 462 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:21,680 Speaker 1: just became friends and then you know, yeah, she's adorable. Um, 463 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,360 Speaker 1: well that was a great show. Anything going on with you, Catherine, 464 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:29,080 Speaker 1: not really? You know, I got a just kids summer 465 00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:33,159 Speaker 1: school starting. H I cannot wait for the kids to 466 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,280 Speaker 1: go back to school. I cannot believe the kids go 467 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:40,320 Speaker 1: to school on Friday. I am so excited. I didn't 468 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,560 Speaker 1: think it was like summer, which it did. It went 469 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 1: by really really fast. Yeah, but I'm fine with it 470 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 1: being yeah. And everybody's like, I can't believe whatever, and 471 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:49,920 Speaker 1: I'm like me, neither of it. It's kind of great. 472 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,679 Speaker 1: I know, I was walking Leo to go, like I 473 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,199 Speaker 1: love kids. It's like, you don't have to say that, 474 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,680 Speaker 1: we know you love. I'm trying to be healed, Jana, 475 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 1: I'm working on it or is. Yeah. One of the 476 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,440 Speaker 1: neighbors saying the same thing. She's like, I can't believe 477 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:07,159 Speaker 1: summer's over. I'm like, yeah, but like I'm I'm ready, 478 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,640 Speaker 1: and I think the kids are ready to yeah for sure. 479 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:19,640 Speaker 1: And also with how um I was taking the week 480 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,480 Speaker 1: on and then really but then I'm still being here 481 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,160 Speaker 1: even on the week off, so it's like I feel 482 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,440 Speaker 1: like I haven't had a break minus that one week, 483 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:30,320 Speaker 1: and I'm just like I'm spent. Yeah, that's a lot. 484 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:36,639 Speaker 1: I mean it's a lot um but yeah, okay, well 485 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:41,320 Speaker 1: that's good. You know, nothing groundbreaking and therapy that you've learned, 486 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,240 Speaker 1: not really, I mean I've only you know, I go 487 00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:48,399 Speaker 1: once a month now because you graduated. I graduated, you know. 488 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,880 Speaker 1: I think I'm where I'm at now is and kind 489 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:55,280 Speaker 1: of what we talked about is the healing process and 490 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,520 Speaker 1: working on myself but trying to figure out what that 491 00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,760 Speaker 1: looks like and just trying to figure that part of 492 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:02,919 Speaker 1: it out, which is exciting but also kind of overwhelming. 493 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,880 Speaker 1: What part overwhelms you? I just don't really know where 494 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,680 Speaker 1: to start, what to do? You know, I'm like any 495 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:13,520 Speaker 1: like Amy, what do I do? You know? With emotions 496 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:18,280 Speaker 1: or physical or just all of it? Like where do 497 00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,840 Speaker 1: I start? I mean, I definitely the emotions are coming in, 498 00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:24,760 Speaker 1: which one's like I don't know all of them, you know, 499 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,280 Speaker 1: because you know me, it's like I take a little 500 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,680 Speaker 1: while for my emotions to hit with death, with any 501 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:31,800 Speaker 1: kind of thing, Like I'm not the one that's going 502 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,240 Speaker 1: to be necessarily crying at the funeral home. A month 503 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,760 Speaker 1: or two later it'll hit me kind of thing, you know, 504 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:40,800 Speaker 1: So it's it's hit me later, but just in and 505 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,960 Speaker 1: just to like just getting the emotions out, which I 506 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,399 Speaker 1: think is part of the healing I'm I'm learning, you know, 507 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:50,400 Speaker 1: as part of just letting myself feel those emotions. Um, 508 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,199 Speaker 1: but I mean just more like what am I going 509 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:55,159 Speaker 1: to do? Like, what are my intentions? Like? What am 510 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,439 Speaker 1: I going to do for myself? What I'm you know, 511 00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:00,240 Speaker 1: I'm just kind of figuring out that. Next up, Well, 512 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,960 Speaker 1: you texted the group pickleball. I did, so we might 513 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:08,040 Speaker 1: start playing pickleball. Yes, I need a hobby, Amy told me. 514 00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,919 Speaker 1: She literally goes, you know what you need to do. 515 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,600 Speaker 1: You need to just go to Barnes and Noble and 516 00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:15,680 Speaker 1: just like search the book aisle. And I'm like, I 517 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 1: really don't like the self help book thing, and she's overwhelming. 518 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:20,480 Speaker 1: She's like no, she was like, just look at the 519 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:22,440 Speaker 1: books and like, hey, you see a book on gardening 520 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:24,520 Speaker 1: and that seems interesting. Pick it up. I'm like, not, 521 00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:29,200 Speaker 1: you're not a gardener. Know your audience, your audience, whatever 522 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,920 Speaker 1: sparks your interest. Yeah that. I was like, okay, I'll 523 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:36,480 Speaker 1: go do that. So that's funny. Pickleball, is it right now? Pickleball? Yeah? No, 524 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:39,000 Speaker 1: I would love to play pickleball. All right, Well that's good, 525 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,280 Speaker 1: and then you'll let me know when you're ready for 526 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:46,800 Speaker 1: the other stuff. But in time, okay. When you just 527 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:48,680 Speaker 1: talk about that really fast, because it was it was 528 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,680 Speaker 1: on my stories. Oh, I mean it was it was 529 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:58,160 Speaker 1: already on my stories. Let me just yeah whatever whatever, 530 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:02,720 Speaker 1: that's yes, okay. Um, so we were having a little 531 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:05,520 Speaker 1: wine night and so just like out of fun. It's 532 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,320 Speaker 1: not like she's ready to date. Okay, it's not. Katherine 533 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 1: is not ready to date. It's too soon. But here's 534 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:12,400 Speaker 1: the thing, if you want to great, no, there's no 535 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:18,040 Speaker 1: timeline on things. Okay. Having said that, I was like, oh, 536 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:21,000 Speaker 1: that's sunny. Vote for dating app? So what was funny? 537 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:25,560 Speaker 1: Some people didn't like that that I did that or 538 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:30,600 Speaker 1: here I'll tell I'll tell you all. So okay, So 539 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:33,479 Speaker 1: so what was funny is that? So we signed her 540 00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:35,880 Speaker 1: up for this one. I won't say which one it is, 541 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:41,320 Speaker 1: please do not and I won't. And then I start 542 00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,360 Speaker 1: scrolling because I'm going to ax them for her. So 543 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:45,479 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm on a mission to find, you know, 544 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,000 Speaker 1: just a little fun little you know, because it sometimes 545 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,120 Speaker 1: it's just fun to flirt, right, Let's just find you 546 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 1: a fun little flirt to text, and which I understand 547 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:59,440 Speaker 1: is not very healing, and blah blah blah, like you 548 00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,440 Speaker 1: know what I mean. Okay, she hasn't fun for a second? 549 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:06,200 Speaker 1: Rebbing wine rebbing fun? Well, like the third person was again, 550 00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:10,480 Speaker 1: I have the phone in my hand, and the third 551 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:14,920 Speaker 1: face I see is my ex husband. I have died, 552 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:20,840 Speaker 1: I screamed, and like through the phone. Um, I'm still 553 00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:23,160 Speaker 1: slightly worried about what happened. Well, that's this is the 554 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 1: funny thing. So we don't know if she hearted or 555 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:30,960 Speaker 1: exed nothing. She did not even have the phone. Katherine's 556 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,800 Speaker 1: like this, she um, but I threw the phone and 557 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:36,440 Speaker 1: then when we went to pick up the phone, he 558 00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:38,640 Speaker 1: was gone. So I don't know. You might have asked, 559 00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:40,800 Speaker 1: like when I threw it, like you might have accidentally 560 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 1: hearted if he saw that. I can't even imagine what 561 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 1: would go through his mind because it literally pops up 562 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 1: that you hearted. Yeah, I would die. I would. I 563 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,400 Speaker 1: can't even think about it. I can't even think about it. 564 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,600 Speaker 1: It's just funny. It's hilarious. Though. Half the people were like, 565 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:01,160 Speaker 1: this is a funny. You can laugh about it, and 566 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, like I know that he's dating and 567 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:05,840 Speaker 1: it's great. I'm so happy for him, Like you do 568 00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,160 Speaker 1: you boo, like go date. It was just funny seeing 569 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 1: it like for my best friends, like on her like 570 00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,400 Speaker 1: dating app was and just yeah, people thought it was 571 00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:18,320 Speaker 1: your ex husband. Some people thought it was your ex husband, like, 572 00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,080 Speaker 1: why are you getting upset because she's on in her 573 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:21,440 Speaker 1: I was like no, no no, no, Like the funny part 574 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 1: is that was my ex and like what else were 575 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,040 Speaker 1: they because it's not healing to be on a dating app. Yeah, 576 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,760 Speaker 1: like I'm a bad friend or and then also you 577 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,600 Speaker 1: know who cares that Mike's on there? I was like, guys, 578 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:33,640 Speaker 1: it was just yeah, definitely missed the point. I'm just 579 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,239 Speaker 1: it's just just funny, like you know, wine drunken night 580 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,400 Speaker 1: with our girlfriends and we see my ex husband. It's 581 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:42,160 Speaker 1: just funny. And I'm like, yeah, I mean, I'm sure 582 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:45,840 Speaker 1: everybody knows we don't like each other. So you guys 583 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,360 Speaker 1: right into the theater and you guys like, we just 584 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 1: don't like each other, and can you tell that story 585 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:54,160 Speaker 1: each other? It was so funny because your son was like, oh, 586 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,760 Speaker 1: both of them, long story short at a movie theater. 587 00:31:56,840 --> 00:32:00,200 Speaker 1: I've ran into this man maybe three times, and one 588 00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:02,760 Speaker 1: time I have we even remotely even spoken. Well, the 589 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:06,400 Speaker 1: funny part is is like you think that because you're 590 00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:09,080 Speaker 1: the person that ultimately like served you didn't serve him, 591 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:12,120 Speaker 1: but like you yeah, yeah, it was just it was 592 00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,120 Speaker 1: just not pretty at the end for us for sure, 593 00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:17,600 Speaker 1: And I understand respect, but like, I get it, it's awkward. 594 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,480 Speaker 1: I don't really love awkward. So I've avoided him at 595 00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,000 Speaker 1: all costs, even to where Jane doesn't even tell me 596 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:27,000 Speaker 1: when he's showing up. One time he walks in the 597 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,680 Speaker 1: house and I'm like just standing there. So anyway, fast 598 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:34,920 Speaker 1: forward movie theater. I see Jolie, then I see Jason. 599 00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 1: I'll go, no, the next one it's going to be him. 600 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,400 Speaker 1: So anyway, I do the little wave. It's fine. In 601 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,320 Speaker 1: my head, he didn't wave back. Maybe he did. I 602 00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:46,760 Speaker 1: don't know. Our heads a key, that's my story. But 603 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:49,520 Speaker 1: then I'm like maybe he did, you know, probably fine, 604 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,040 Speaker 1: and I'm like I'm like, okay, let's go, let's go. 605 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:53,760 Speaker 1: And so I'm like Russian and I'm real fast, like dude, 606 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:55,600 Speaker 1: what's it, what's the deal? And I'm like, Mike stand 607 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,920 Speaker 1: there like so, and I was like, don't y'all know 608 00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,200 Speaker 1: we don't like each other, like you know, so we anway, 609 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 1: So I'm like we're fine, We're fine. And then we 610 00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,360 Speaker 1: get in the line to get popcorn and stuff, and 611 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:06,880 Speaker 1: of course, you know, he goes up to the thing first, 612 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,520 Speaker 1: and then the register right next She's like next and 613 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:14,760 Speaker 1: I'm like no, the next then I'm like there's no more. 614 00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,600 Speaker 1: So I was like okay. So I like walk up 615 00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,520 Speaker 1: and I'm talking to Joli and Jason. Then somehow something 616 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:23,520 Speaker 1: is said where we literally like lock eyes and we're 617 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,160 Speaker 1: both like you can just see it in our faces, 618 00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:30,240 Speaker 1: were like and so, and he was cordial. He's like, hey, 619 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,280 Speaker 1: what maybe are you saying or whatever? And I was like, 620 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:37,160 Speaker 1: your mom's I've literally felt like a child that needed 621 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,560 Speaker 1: to like, you know, so I just got it and 622 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,280 Speaker 1: then I just we just stopped speaking, didn't look at 623 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,040 Speaker 1: each other anymore, and we just walked away. And then 624 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:47,360 Speaker 1: kids say yeah, they're like dude, and he was like 625 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:49,520 Speaker 1: that was awkward. Yeah, yeah, I was in mer kat 626 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,080 Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, we're seeing each other since. 627 00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:53,880 Speaker 1: I mean, it was good to get it out of 628 00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:55,320 Speaker 1: the way. It's so good. It's out of the way, 629 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,200 Speaker 1: and it's it's fine, it's fine, everything's fine. It's fine, 630 00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:01,080 Speaker 1: everything's fine. I will say though, we we have been 631 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,840 Speaker 1: very cordial. Good. Yeah, so that's good. That's the best, 632 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,040 Speaker 1: the best for the kids, y'all don't have to be right. 633 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,960 Speaker 1: We have to be. I mean, I think through time 634 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,279 Speaker 1: we will get more cordial. Yeah, if we're around each other, 635 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,040 Speaker 1: if our kids were doing sports or something. Is the 636 00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:20,080 Speaker 1: only time I think that that really would fall into 637 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:24,360 Speaker 1: play because people are taking you know, or whatever. But 638 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,000 Speaker 1: I just hear us again, you don't but you don't 639 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:29,160 Speaker 1: have to, like, no, don't. Honestly, we probably don't ever 640 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:31,120 Speaker 1: really speak to each other because like, you don't have 641 00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:34,000 Speaker 1: to be Like, if you don't want someone in life, 642 00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,000 Speaker 1: you don't you have a choice to not speak to 643 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,000 Speaker 1: that person. You have a choice, you don't. You don't 644 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,800 Speaker 1: have to be mean. But that's when I remember last August, 645 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,960 Speaker 1: which when um, you know, Julie started school. He's like, 646 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,839 Speaker 1: why are you being so cold? And I'm like, I'm 647 00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:48,799 Speaker 1: not being anything, and I don't like, I'm just I'm 648 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:52,359 Speaker 1: choosing not to speak to you in this moment. Well, 649 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:54,120 Speaker 1: and that takes time to realize, Like you can do 650 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:57,800 Speaker 1: that with anybody. You can choose not to speak yea um. 651 00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,920 Speaker 1: But yeah, So anyways, that was fun seeing him on 652 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:03,520 Speaker 1: the dating app. That was just for fun. Janice signing 653 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:08,640 Speaker 1: she's not on there anymore. She got off. It's fine. 654 00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:12,360 Speaker 1: Speaking of which, like I have started thinking about I 655 00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:16,000 Speaker 1: don't know because like on dating apps, it's like, well 656 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:21,280 Speaker 1: the one that I'm on or was or whatever, um 657 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:26,840 Speaker 1: it's like lisbon is real Paris. Literally it doesn't do 658 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:30,680 Speaker 1: because I'm like, okay, that's no, no no. If I'm 659 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:32,360 Speaker 1: like that's stupid, I'm not even gonna like do this 660 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:35,040 Speaker 1: anymore because it's just And then I feel like, can 661 00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:36,880 Speaker 1: I could I get on? Like I don't think I 662 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:39,239 Speaker 1: could get on like a hinge or a bumble Like no, 663 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,640 Speaker 1: I don't think he Probably mine just has to be 664 00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:44,640 Speaker 1: like through well and I don't know that I could 665 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,640 Speaker 1: do it for real a dating atmost. I just don't know. 666 00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:49,239 Speaker 1: And like how do you meet people? I don't know. 667 00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:51,200 Speaker 1: We're going to have to, like I'm not going to 668 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:56,919 Speaker 1: We're gonna have to, Jane, I'm I'm I'm I'm good 669 00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:58,920 Speaker 1: right now, you know what. That's the thing. That's what 670 00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:04,200 Speaker 1: you know what we're good. I'm very good. And if 671 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,239 Speaker 1: it's something is meant to be, it's meant to be 672 00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:09,080 Speaker 1: and it'll happen. Now that might not happen if I'm 673 00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:10,400 Speaker 1: just sitting in my room. So I do have to 674 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:12,279 Speaker 1: get out a little bit, Like you're not gonna when 675 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,040 Speaker 1: I'm ready. But yeah, Jesus isn't gonna be like bam 676 00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:16,880 Speaker 1: Man in the room. I think that's probably Jesus as 677 00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,360 Speaker 1: big as pet Peeve. If it's going to happen, it'll happen. 678 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,640 Speaker 1: Like you got to do something, you have to actually 679 00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:24,120 Speaker 1: get out and do it, which you know. But no, 680 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:27,160 Speaker 1: I'm not there yet. I am in a very good 681 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:32,200 Speaker 1: spot where I am not playing games, which, by the way, 682 00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:37,160 Speaker 1: from last week's episode, um, I realize, I think you 683 00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:39,640 Speaker 1: know it. I'm just gonna be myself and not do 684 00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:44,400 Speaker 1: the woman avoid or whatever. And then I had reached 685 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:48,799 Speaker 1: out and it was very well received, and so end 686 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,360 Speaker 1: of the day, I'm like, look, someone's gonna like you. 687 00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:55,239 Speaker 1: You don't need to play games. They want you. They're 688 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,480 Speaker 1: gonna want you. So I get it. The whole sperm 689 00:36:58,560 --> 00:36:59,960 Speaker 1: chases the egg that we talked about this like, I 690 00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,480 Speaker 1: get like the whole like two available not but I'm like, 691 00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,279 Speaker 1: I just I'm not going to be the one. I 692 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,319 Speaker 1: cannot play games. So if this person is going to 693 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,680 Speaker 1: like me, and it's like a very it's like a 694 00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:11,279 Speaker 1: turtle snail movement at the moment, and that's amazing, and 695 00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:13,759 Speaker 1: that's great, and I'm like here for that because I'd 696 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:17,880 Speaker 1: like to see if it could be something. And also 697 00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:19,960 Speaker 1: like I'm if I'm thinking of this person, I'm going 698 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,040 Speaker 1: to text him and say I'm thinking of you. Yeah, 699 00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:24,600 Speaker 1: I don't like those games, which I think at the 700 00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,359 Speaker 1: like the do I text? So I not text? What 701 00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:30,320 Speaker 1: do I say or not? Even like I just think 702 00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:34,319 Speaker 1: we know who we are, we are older now, like 703 00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,879 Speaker 1: take it or leave it. I think that it does 704 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:40,240 Speaker 1: pertain more though to what's set up in the beginning 705 00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,440 Speaker 1: and I expectations from the beginning as far as paying 706 00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:45,760 Speaker 1: and stuff like that. I think that's that I agreed 707 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:49,600 Speaker 1: with her on that mess that one up last time. Well, 708 00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,040 Speaker 1: and that's hard for you, and I mean and that's 709 00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:54,759 Speaker 1: just something that now that you'll think through if there's 710 00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:57,719 Speaker 1: you know, next time or whatever. But yeah, no, like 711 00:37:58,200 --> 00:37:59,920 Speaker 1: I was even thinking that with like the few like 712 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,040 Speaker 1: silly guys that sent messages. I'm like, I don't want 713 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:03,719 Speaker 1: to stress about what I say. I'm not even gonna 714 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:05,560 Speaker 1: stress like it is what it is either like me 715 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:09,000 Speaker 1: for being stupid and responses or don't you know it's so. 716 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,400 Speaker 1: But it's funny how we like overthink and like, well, 717 00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:13,759 Speaker 1: if I say this, then they think that's say well 718 00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,479 Speaker 1: that's why. Now I'm just like screw it. I'm gonna 719 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:18,040 Speaker 1: just Texas person and say hey, I'm thinking of you, 720 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:19,640 Speaker 1: hope you have a great day. And then it was 721 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:23,279 Speaker 1: like so well received and like see, you know, we 722 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:27,000 Speaker 1: just overthink everything. Just be you, I know. But then 723 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:30,160 Speaker 1: I'm like it and then I never think it because 724 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,239 Speaker 1: I was talking to just dating is so interesting. One 725 00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:35,479 Speaker 1: of my girlfriends, she was like, I had this really long, 726 00:38:35,719 --> 00:38:38,440 Speaker 1: great like chat with this guy we were voice memoing 727 00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:41,440 Speaker 1: that hadn't met yet, and then he's like, you know, 728 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,239 Speaker 1: i'll give you a call on Wednesday. Well it's been 729 00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:47,920 Speaker 1: a week, and it's like just say something. Just be 730 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:51,560 Speaker 1: like hey, actually I'm not interested in anymore or like 731 00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,200 Speaker 1: for the guy, and then for her, I was like 732 00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:57,760 Speaker 1: just be like hey, like you know, I think he's interested, 733 00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,640 Speaker 1: then let it go. But also like dudes like please 734 00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,880 Speaker 1: don't ghost girls. I feel good does not at this age, 735 00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,879 Speaker 1: man like why just be like hey, I mean that's 736 00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,879 Speaker 1: what I had to do. When I was doing Hawk 737 00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:14,920 Speaker 1: Girl summer. One person that wanted to like be in something, 738 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:16,640 Speaker 1: I was just like, I'm just that's not the season. 739 00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,320 Speaker 1: I'm in. I just want to have a little a 740 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:24,000 Speaker 1: little fun and do my thing and heal and be alone. 741 00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:31,680 Speaker 1: Having said that, if it was that other one or 742 00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:35,799 Speaker 1: like they're right and then I then I then I 743 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:37,879 Speaker 1: would be like, okay, let yeah, let's day. Well of course, 744 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:41,000 Speaker 1: well that just honestly, isn't that why you date? You 745 00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:43,080 Speaker 1: lead through the ones that you want to spend the 746 00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:46,439 Speaker 1: more time with you don't. That's very true, you know, Yeah, 747 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,560 Speaker 1: but I think the biggest thing and then need be 748 00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:51,239 Speaker 1: patient for the other ones if they need more well, 749 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:53,799 Speaker 1: and just being confident in yourself. Yeah, it's not about you. 750 00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,359 Speaker 1: Oh no, I know any of it. Yeah. I mean, 751 00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:57,640 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, even if they don't 752 00:39:57,680 --> 00:39:59,400 Speaker 1: like you, it's truly not about you. Don't want to 753 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,640 Speaker 1: be with someone that do and like you one thousand percent. 754 00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:04,279 Speaker 1: And actually that's been easier this go around and be 755 00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:06,400 Speaker 1: like all right, I've noticed that. Yeah, if he just 756 00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,960 Speaker 1: doesn't get me. If someone does text and say, hey, 757 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,560 Speaker 1: I told you I was going to call you on Wednesday, 758 00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:13,040 Speaker 1: but I'm not into it, it's like, okay, instead of 759 00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:15,359 Speaker 1: taking that on yourself, but like I'm not good enough, 760 00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,360 Speaker 1: he doesn't like I. Let that go, I let that 761 00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:24,120 Speaker 1: go in the river. Yeah, you really can totally tell. Yeah, 762 00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:29,120 Speaker 1: see growing works, Growing rocks in the river's actually works. No, 763 00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:32,960 Speaker 1: but I mean, yeah, you know you do, I'll take you. Well, 764 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,799 Speaker 1: we'll go through you, or you can go solo. But 765 00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:39,280 Speaker 1: I might do that or herself as I love you. Um, 766 00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:40,880 Speaker 1: but yeah, no, it's good. It's good. Like when you 767 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,239 Speaker 1: actually release those shame messages, you're like, I know, and 768 00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:45,640 Speaker 1: especially this one person that I'm kind of like, you know, 769 00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:49,719 Speaker 1: have a little crush on. Um, I know, at the 770 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:51,040 Speaker 1: end of the day, if it doesn't work, it's not 771 00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:53,600 Speaker 1: because it's something that I did. It's just the season 772 00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:55,600 Speaker 1: in the space that that person might be in and 773 00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:57,440 Speaker 1: I'm not going to take it on. And that feels 774 00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:01,800 Speaker 1: so different. And then and again, it doesn't mean it 775 00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,640 Speaker 1: might not be disappointing. Oh it'll be disappointing for sure. 776 00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:06,279 Speaker 1: And that's but that's not like you're in your old 777 00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,239 Speaker 1: habits or you're not feeling like just don't let it 778 00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:09,919 Speaker 1: still go to that place if I'm not good enough, 779 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,520 Speaker 1: Like being disappointed in something that you wanted if it 780 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:16,640 Speaker 1: doesn't happen is obviously normal too. Yeah, it'll just mean 781 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,279 Speaker 1: that it wasn't yeah the right time or right wasn't 782 00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:25,279 Speaker 1: the right one, and that's okay, good times, good times, okay. Well, 783 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:29,520 Speaker 1: having said that, UM, I listened to last week's podcast. 784 00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:31,279 Speaker 1: I don't usually listen, but I wanted to see the 785 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:34,080 Speaker 1: whole here, the whole like sperm chases egg thing. And 786 00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:35,960 Speaker 1: then I was like, all right, time to debrief. And 787 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,520 Speaker 1: then I was like, oh, left him hanging. I got 788 00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:42,080 Speaker 1: a debrief now again because some things are just better 789 00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:46,080 Speaker 1: left and said yeah, publicly for sure, but I love 790 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:47,799 Speaker 1: you guys, yep, talk to you next week.