Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central, please welcome Jeanette McCurdy. Than
Speaker 1: Jeanete McCurdy, I'll come to the Daily Show. I feel
Speaker 1: so short. Aren't touching? That's fine. As long as like
Speaker 1: you can you can swing them, you can. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: as long as you enjoy it. I can lower the
Speaker 1: desk as well if you'd like. This is good. Okay, good, Okay.
Speaker 1: I can't actually do it. I'm glad you asked me
Speaker 1: to do it. Um, Welcome to the show, and congratulations
Speaker 1: on writing a book that I think, for many people
Speaker 1: is seen as not just something funny, not just a
Speaker 1: story that's interesting, but in many ways a cathartic exploration
Speaker 1: of how we see the relationships that we have with
Speaker 1: many of our parents, our care give us, whoever it
Speaker 1: was in our world, because you wrote a book entitled
Speaker 1: I'm Glad My Mom died and it is is a
Speaker 1: massive hit. So two questions, One did you hate your mom?
Speaker 1: And two does everybody? Um? No, I definitely don't hate
Speaker 1: my mom. I think she was a really complicated and
Speaker 1: nuanced person, and I try to kind of articulate her
Speaker 1: to the best of my ability and all her many
Speaker 1: shades and colors. To me, her humor is really uh.
Speaker 1: She could say things that were so wild and at
Speaker 1: times abusive, but she just had a certain cadence and
Speaker 1: a rhythm that was so humorous. So I tried to
Speaker 1: capture that. But I certainly didn't hate her, and I
Speaker 1: think I think that's why it was so important for
Speaker 1: me to write this book, because getting to the place
Speaker 1: where I was finally glad and relieved that she was dead,
Speaker 1: you know, it took me so long to be able
Speaker 1: to accept that um reality. And I also think that's
Speaker 1: something that people I didn't hear anybody talking about. I
Speaker 1: didn't hear anybody saying, you know that the sort of
Speaker 1: honest reality of what their experience with their with their
Speaker 1: parents was, if they had a similar one. It feels
Speaker 1: like a thing that you can't say because society doesn't
Speaker 1: accept it. It It just you have to keep moms on
Speaker 1: pedestal and we all have to have the same experience,
Speaker 1: and that just wasn't mine. So it felt even more
Speaker 1: important to express it in the book. You you go
Speaker 1: through your entire journey. Many people you know in America
Speaker 1: and some parts of the world will remember you from
Speaker 1: my colleague you you were this massive child star and
Speaker 1: on the camera you were all smiles, You made people laugh,
Speaker 1: everybody enjoyed what you were doing. As soon as you
Speaker 1: read through the book, you realized that you were suffering,
Speaker 1: You were experiencing trauma. It was really abusive in how
Speaker 1: you were doing what you were doing it. It feels
Speaker 1: like in many ways you were living your mom's dream
Speaker 1: and she was making you do this. Yeah, I would
Speaker 1: love to know how you did it, Like did you
Speaker 1: have a switch? Did you have a did you compartmentalize?
Speaker 1: Because you you talk about it in the book, but
Speaker 1: you could you could never tell. You could never tell
Speaker 1: on screen what you were going through. No. No, So
Speaker 1: my mom always wanted to be an actress. Her dream
Speaker 1: was to be famous, and she would recount sort of
Speaker 1: these tales of how her parents wouldn't let her. She
Speaker 1: would camp out in front of Donny Osmond's house, bring
Speaker 1: him like posters. Chris Knight, who played Peter Brady in
Speaker 1: A Brady Bunch, She swore like, oh, they had a relationship.
Speaker 1: I think that was not true. Um, Chris Knight, if
Speaker 1: you're watching, please let me know if my mom actually
Speaker 1: had a relationship with you. Um. But so she she
Speaker 1: was always fascinated with kind of Hollywood and the aura
Speaker 1: and the romance as she saw it, and so she
Speaker 1: put me in acting when I was six to kind
Speaker 1: of give I think, in my eyes, it was to
Speaker 1: live vicariously through me and to fulfill her dream and
Speaker 1: what she had always wanted. But it seems like she
Speaker 1: subjected you to a nightmare because you were in a
Speaker 1: world where it's supposed to be fun. You know, you're
Speaker 1: making kids television and yeah, and yet it seems pretty horrible.
Speaker 1: I also wonder if this is the relationship of many
Speaker 1: child stars, or do you know what was this isolated
Speaker 1: or do you think this is a lot more normal
Speaker 1: than we'd like to admit. I think it's way more
Speaker 1: common than anyone would care to admit. I know, just
Speaker 1: from my experience of going into auditions. Countless times i'd
Speaker 1: have like a hundred three feet for my mom would
Speaker 1: be having me child gatorade. I'd be walking in to
Speaker 1: like pretend to be a homeless child, which is just
Speaker 1: already so kind of messed up as it is. And
Speaker 1: there's these this you know, dozens of other girls lined
Speaker 1: up to also try and be this homeless child, and
Speaker 1: the moms are like eyeing each other and like, oh,
Speaker 1: my daughter is better being homeless than yours. And it's
Speaker 1: like this is so what is this world? It's so weird.
Speaker 1: But I am able to now kind of look back
Speaker 1: and see the humor in it, and I think it
Speaker 1: is a very absurd reality. But I do think there's
Speaker 1: a lot of inherent ironic camera there. I think what
Speaker 1: you've done in the book is precisely that you've looked
Speaker 1: back and you've seen the humor. You use the humor
Speaker 1: because this book without the humor is a devastating tale
Speaker 1: of a young child who it really would be so awful.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it would be awful. I think it
Speaker 1: just would be. It would be a lot harder for
Speaker 1: people to read. I think it would be. It would
Speaker 1: be painful, because it is still the real thing, you know.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't even think of it as a pretty grab.
Speaker 1: But but the humor is a coping mechanism. It's a
Speaker 1: tool you're processing your life through. There's a point in
Speaker 1: the book where I find myself reading the stories of
Speaker 1: your mom, understanding the complicated world that she existed in,
Speaker 1: but then wondering, you know, like how you see her,
Speaker 1: like like did you forgive her? Were you able to
Speaker 1: old Gold? Do you still do you still hold some
Speaker 1: of those feelings like what has your journey been? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, what a big good question. That's such a
Speaker 1: deep like this is what I spent ten years in
Speaker 1: therapy to be able to now say on the Daily Show.
Speaker 1: That's so cool, that's really awesome. Um, well, I'm glad
Speaker 1: you initially, you know, you're speaking kind of the humor,
Speaker 1: And I do think it's a great coping mechanism, and
Speaker 1: and I don't I try not to use it as
Speaker 1: a defense mechanism. I use it that way for a
Speaker 1: long time initially when I was first kind of trying
Speaker 1: to grapple with everything, and I think that led to
Speaker 1: really unfunny choices, and my my sense of humor just
Speaker 1: sort of overcompetitory and kind of flailing and obnoxious to
Speaker 1: be honest. Um, But I think finding humor in those
Speaker 1: really intense moments and that those tragedies can bring gravity
Speaker 1: where it's necessary. I hope I've done that. Um with
Speaker 1: my mom, I haven't gotten to a place of forgiveness,
Speaker 1: and I was trying to get to a place of
Speaker 1: forgiveness for so long in therapy. I would uh sort
Speaker 1: of plead almost with my therapist, like why am I
Speaker 1: not able to get to this place? What is what's
Speaker 1: wrong with me that I'm not able to forgive my
Speaker 1: mom for this abuse? Why am I so terrible that
Speaker 1: I can't get to get to that place? And she
Speaker 1: eventually said, you know, Janet, what if you just kind
Speaker 1: of dropped uh forgiveness and didn't make that your goal,
Speaker 1: because that's you still trying to do your mom's work.
Speaker 1: I couldn't. Yeah, right, I mean that's exactly my react.
Speaker 1: And it moves to Aaron's Yeah, wow, Yeah, it's um, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's a journey that I think fought too
Speaker 1: many people have been. I think a lot of the
Speaker 1: success of the book has been that. Obviously it's well written,
Speaker 1: Obviously it's it's it's fantastically told, but it is a
Speaker 1: very complicated topic. How do you address the lack of
Speaker 1: love or the lack of parenting that you were supposed
Speaker 1: to get from that figure, Because, as you say, mom
Speaker 1: is supposed to be this this you know, this god,
Speaker 1: this icon of everything. Dad in some ways as well,
Speaker 1: but not the same, And yet you're in a world
Speaker 1: where you're going, oh, no, it's true, you know, and
Speaker 1: people be like, oh dad mom and dad was okay,
Speaker 1: but mom is is untouching. Or even with dad you
Speaker 1: can be like, oh my dad never showed up and
Speaker 1: people like my neither, and then it's totally normal. But
Speaker 1: I feel like with mom it is very very much.
Speaker 1: And this there's this pedestal of their mind when you
Speaker 1: when you broach this topic, when you started thinking about it,
Speaker 1: were you worried that people would turn on you? Um?
Speaker 1: I felt even if they did, it was a message
Speaker 1: worth sharing. I really, I really mean that. Wow. I
Speaker 1: love that. I really do. That's because that's a brave
Speaker 1: stance to take, because a lot of people be like,
Speaker 1: how dare you talking about your mom like that? It's
Speaker 1: actually it's it's it's it's so crazy, how I mean,
Speaker 1: everything gets mem ified. And you know, there was a
Speaker 1: there was a post I saw online where someone was
Speaker 1: trying to chastise everybody for talking about the queen, you know,
Speaker 1: and like just going like we're dead, We're glad this
Speaker 1: monarchy is ending in some way, and someone was like,
Speaker 1: replace you think it's funny, try and replace the queen
Speaker 1: with your mom and see how funny it is, and
Speaker 1: someone put a picture of your book up and then
Speaker 1: it was like, I'm glad the queen died, and it
Speaker 1: feels like no, but it feels like that is It
Speaker 1: feels like that's what the book is dealing with. Is
Speaker 1: you dealing with the idea of a mom and how
Speaker 1: that how that competes or con it's with your actual moment? Yes,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yeah that should be on the back flap.
Speaker 1: I can write it. You shared your story with us,
Speaker 1: You've gone through will Now you are back in the
Speaker 1: world of entertainment in a very different way. You behind
Speaker 1: the camera, you're directing, you're writing, you've got a podcasts.
Speaker 1: It's it's interesting because it's a world that was so
Speaker 1: toxic to you, and now you've come back in a
Speaker 1: different way. Do you have a worry that it may
Speaker 1: suck you back in and how do you prevent yourself
Speaker 1: from going back into that space of feeling like you're
Speaker 1: defined by the everything that's that you hated once? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I'm I'm so can I just say I
Speaker 1: respect you so much? This is so cool. I'm so
Speaker 1: happy to be here truly, Well, this is amazing because
Speaker 1: a much um I have been scared of that. There
Speaker 1: have been a few times when I've done some some
Speaker 1: press that shall not be named, where it's so bizarre
Speaker 1: because I'm like hearing the pre roll of you know,
Speaker 1: they show like the clip of me from the past
Speaker 1: or whatever, and it's so dramatic. It's like McCurdy then
Speaker 1: an Ish from the Spotlight after her traumatic childhood, with
Speaker 1: the trauma and the deadest. It's like, jeez, can we
Speaker 1: calm down? And then I'm walked out to this, you know,
Speaker 1: to this like cold, dominanty kind of set, and then
Speaker 1: there's the journalist and there's three inches of makeup on
Speaker 1: the guy's face and it's just like, you know, it
Speaker 1: does feel kind of um. It feels easy to lose
Speaker 1: sight of reality in these environments, and so I really
Speaker 1: try to keep myself grounded and stay on top of
Speaker 1: you know, therapy and and being in touch with things
Speaker 1: that really are are good touchdowns and grounding tools for me,
Speaker 1: because I do not want to get lost in it.
Speaker 1: But also I will say I trust that I won't.
Speaker 1: I don't think I had the tools before to not
Speaker 1: get lost in it and to not feel sort of
Speaker 1: caught up in the whirlwind. Of show biz. Um, but
Speaker 1: now I feel like, you know what, there's some elements
Speaker 1: that are really cool about it, um like this, and
Speaker 1: then there are some that aren't. And and that's fine.
Speaker 1: I can use my own discernment and and just be
Speaker 1: grateful for the good experiences, grateful for you. It's really
Speaker 1: want to throw over anything. Thank you so much. I'm
Speaker 1: wanting my mom died. It was available now wherever you
Speaker 1: buy a book can have mcarty. Everybody. Watch The Daily
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