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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcasts

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Speaker 1: morning show? And here we go a very special edition

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Speaker 1: for the fifteen micast. Just kidding nothing, Wait a minute,

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Speaker 1: what I miss special? Good morning? And there's Scotty b

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Speaker 1: there's Gandhi, there's Garrett, Yes straight and Ate Danielle in

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Speaker 1: the den, the one and only Dave Brody. Everyone in

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Speaker 1: the den, in the motherfucking dead. You guys didn't notice.

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Speaker 1: I made a huge change to the background. Well, I

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Speaker 1: used to have a bunch of plugs over here. But

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Speaker 1: what I did was I put a surge protector, ran

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Speaker 1: the cord down, and now all the plugs are off camera.

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Speaker 1: Look how clean the streamlined? That looks chord. I got

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Speaker 1: to plug something in somewhere. Can we all agree that

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Speaker 1: the word den is the most uncool word? And no

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Speaker 1: thanks for saying that. After every day you introduced me

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Speaker 1: as the guy sitting in the den. I mean, there's

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Speaker 1: just nothing. There's now the roughness room and my time

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Speaker 1: travel back to the forties, Nate, what about the layer? Listen,

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Speaker 1: let me explain something. I grew up in a small

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Speaker 1: apartment building, right, and my wealthy cousins always had a

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Speaker 1: library or a den, so now that I'm an adult

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Speaker 1: and I have a house, I decided, no matter what

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Speaker 1: room this is, I'm calling it a den because I

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Speaker 1: wanted it to den. It's a den, even though it's

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Speaker 1: not give me that, Okay, I wanted a den than

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Speaker 1: what fantastic den is a huge wall of library books

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Speaker 1: and a ladder that rolls back and forth. You have

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Speaker 1: that big globe that you open up as a bar inside.

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Speaker 1: I love it. So there is a question I have

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Speaker 1: for the room. Uh. Looking at yesterday's events at the

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Speaker 1: United States Capitol, very tense moments, moments that should not

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Speaker 1: have happened. We all agree. There was one moment and

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Speaker 1: one photo of officers with their guns pointed at a

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Speaker 1: door that had been barricaded by a big piece of furniture.

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Speaker 1: So what I did, of course, I try to put

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Speaker 1: the pieces together. I'm like wondering, what was it like

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Speaker 1: when they're like, come on, guys, here, help me move this.

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Speaker 1: And they actually had to help each other move this

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Speaker 1: very very massive piece of furniture in front of the door.

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Speaker 1: You don't you know the photo I'm talking about, right,

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Speaker 1: So it got me to thinking, how many times have

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Speaker 1: any of us actually for safety's sake or whatever reason,

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Speaker 1: had to move a piece of furniture in front of

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Speaker 1: a door. And I have one. I have one upstate

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Speaker 1: New York. My friend Teresa and I stay in this

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Speaker 1: bed and breakfast and the people who owned this bed

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Speaker 1: and breakfast were spooky as fun, and so when we

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Speaker 1: went to sleep that night, she's like, what do you think. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so we pushed this antique dresser in front of the door,

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Speaker 1: full well that we're safe. There's no way they conc

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Speaker 1: So those photos they took me back to that. Anyone else, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I had one. Yeah. I was driving across country. I

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Speaker 1: think I was moving to California, and I stayed in

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Speaker 1: a Motel six and you were trying to kill the

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Speaker 1: girl and you wanted to keep her in the room.

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Speaker 1: And if you've ever stayed in motel six, you know

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Speaker 1: the walls are about this thin. So I was sleeping

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Speaker 1: and I had sleep paralysis. So somebody was walking by

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Speaker 1: my room, but I thought they were walking into my

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Speaker 1: room and I couldn't move, and I woke up sweating.

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Speaker 1: And if you've ever had sleep paralysis, you know that

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Speaker 1: it's one of the most freaky things you can never

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Speaker 1: have happen to you, so thinking that it would happen again.

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Speaker 1: To get I saw some peace of mind. I moved

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Speaker 1: the other bed because it was two beds in the

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Speaker 1: room up against the door, so that nobody would walk in. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my god, can you imagine going to open the door

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Speaker 1: and you realize that's a piece of furniture in front

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Speaker 1: of it. You're like, what what do? They don't trust

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Speaker 1: me anyone else? I know, Garrett, any of that happened

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Speaker 1: to me basketball camp. So if you've ever been to

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Speaker 1: sleepaway camp, you know that at once the lights go off,

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Speaker 1: craziness happened. So you sleep in cabins with you know,

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Speaker 1: ten other people and kids would come into your dorm

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Speaker 1: and they would pretty much you know, put soap in

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Speaker 1: a sock or you know, just pretty much like Hayes

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Speaker 1: you in a sense. So we put all uh, we

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Speaker 1: put the chair and are we stacked our bags up

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Speaker 1: in front of the door, so we knew we gave

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Speaker 1: us kind of like an alarm when people tried to

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Speaker 1: come in because the bags would fall and then we

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Speaker 1: would have to go to battle. Um. So I was

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Speaker 1: doing that in like fifth grade, just to protect myself.

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Speaker 1: So from fifth eighth grade that's all I did every

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Speaker 1: summer for a while. Different, that's an alarm. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: had the door there. I had the door there, but

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Speaker 1: if people did get through the door, you would hear it.

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Speaker 1: And but that's great. That was the early version of

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Speaker 1: an alarm system. Yeah, I've done that, putting jars in

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Speaker 1: front of the door, you know, like a glass. They

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Speaker 1: turn this knob, it'll shatter all hear them coming. Learned

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Speaker 1: everything from home alone. Furniture. Sometimes I didn't do it myself,

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Speaker 1: but my best friend when we were fifteen years old,

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Speaker 1: was doing something naughty with her boyfriend and her mom

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Speaker 1: came home and she panicked and the boyfriend hid in

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Speaker 1: the closet, and as the mom was coming to enter

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Speaker 1: the room, she slid her dresser in front of the door,

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Speaker 1: which bought no time really, just more trouble. She ended

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Speaker 1: up having to switch schools, so that particular instance didn't

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Speaker 1: work in her favor. The act of moving furniture in

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Speaker 1: front of the door is a very dramatic act. It's

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Speaker 1: you're protecting yourself from someone hurting you, or you're keeping

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Speaker 1: mom out because you're getting stooked by some guy. Oh

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Speaker 1: be the quarterbany terback. Well, it was O. D. His

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Speaker 1: first name started with an oh, and his last name

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Speaker 1: was Donald the D. Until the mom this is the

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Speaker 1: time of the podcast, we always go to Scotty B

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Speaker 1: and see what little insignificant thing on earth is driving

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Speaker 1: him fucking crazy today. Earlier this week, I discovered something

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Speaker 1: else that bothers me that definitely should not bother me,

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Speaker 1: but but it does. I was at the supermarket and

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Speaker 1: there was somebody in the supermarket using a shopping cart

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Speaker 1: from the CVS next door, and I was like, no,

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Speaker 1: you can't. You can't do that. You can't cross anice,

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Speaker 1: like you can't bring a cart from another store into

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Speaker 1: another store. It's ridiculous and it's shameful, and it was

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Speaker 1: I was embarrassed for them, Like they're a bit is

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Speaker 1: where I've been at, like Petko and someone from the

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Speaker 1: next door Marshalls comes in with that blue plastic card.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it doesn't belong in here. You can't do that.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't bother you. If you go eat at a restaurant

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Speaker 1: and there's somebody else's food in in restaurant A from

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Speaker 1: restaurant B, and they're eating that food in that restaurant,

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Speaker 1: of course you can't bring food into another establishment. I

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Speaker 1: agree with you on that one actual hold on, Brody,

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Speaker 1: you've done that. Yeah. So near where I lived is

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Speaker 1: a Chipotle next to a smash Burger, and so sometimes

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Speaker 1: when I go with the with the family, some of

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Speaker 1: us want one and some of us want the other.

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Speaker 1: So we're not gonna split up and eating two different restaurants.

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Speaker 1: So some of us are going to Chipotle and bring

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Speaker 1: it into smash Burger, and it's only the two of

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Speaker 1: us buy smash Burger. The families eating smash Burger, not

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Speaker 1: into another have to go. You have to bring the

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Speaker 1: smash Burger into Chipotle, that's fine. But if you bring

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Speaker 1: the Chipotle in the smash Burger, there's a problem. Why

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Speaker 1: and smash Burger, they bring the food to your table

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Speaker 1: and then the staff sees you eating the other food,

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Speaker 1: so you can't you can't get away with that. You

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Speaker 1: brought your Chipotle into smash Burger, and but you needed

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Speaker 1: a napkin or a straw? Would you be able to

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Speaker 1: go up? I mean, is it wrong to go up

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Speaker 1: to the counter of smash Burger and because you didn't

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Speaker 1: buy anything there? Right exactly? Or you have to go

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Speaker 1: back to Chipotle to get your napkins, taking napkins from

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Speaker 1: whatever restaurant his family bought something from the smash. It

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Speaker 1: was not eating smash Burger, Danielle, he's eating. Let me

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Speaker 1: take it a step further. Hey, we were going to

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Speaker 1: a restaurant and order delivery from another restaurant so they'd

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Speaker 1: bring it into the reti to your table. That is

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Speaker 1: so s I was at a restaurant once where my

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Speaker 1: kid didn't want anything on the menu, and then the

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Speaker 1: waiter said, I can get you a slice of pizza

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Speaker 1: from another restaurant down the road. Do you want that?

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Speaker 1: And he actually got it for him. It was so sweet. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was great. And of course, of course he seems

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Speaker 1: to a to a pool of a hotel. That's okay,

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Speaker 1: everybody does that. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, that's yeah, you're okay,

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Speaker 1: you're all right, let's say it's cool. But well, I

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Speaker 1: think this is ridiculous. I don't understand if I bought

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Speaker 1: Chipotle and my husband boy Smash Burger, why we can't restaurant.

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Speaker 1: But when we patronized that, we patronized both of them.

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Speaker 1: Yes we did. The other guy who steals the silver

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Speaker 1: were from outback exactly. I haven't done that in a

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Speaker 1: long time because someplace gave me you should well, but

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Speaker 1: people are going to tell you that you're kind of

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Speaker 1: stealing from that restaurant because when you say to go

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Speaker 1: versus here, there's a little bit of a tax difference,

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Speaker 1: and then you say to go at Chipotle and then

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Speaker 1: you go sit and smash burger and you didn't pay

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Speaker 1: that little bit of difference to sit there and eat,

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Speaker 1: so you're just stealing difference. I didn't know that there's

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Speaker 1: there's a little bit Look up the courts. Yeah, food

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Speaker 1: courts is where you need to do all this crap. Earlier,

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Speaker 1: we're also talking about something and then Scotty's I don't

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Speaker 1: know what we're talking about, but my attention was grab

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Speaker 1: when Scotty b screams out what I can't even talk

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Speaker 1: to anyone in a restroom with my dick is out.

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Speaker 1: So I was. I was watching Tiny Pretty Things on Netflix.

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Speaker 1: It's a it's a series about dancers in Chicago, ballet

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Speaker 1: dancers and how they're all horny and sexed up, and

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Speaker 1: one of them dies and they all try to figure

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Speaker 1: it out. But the basis of the show is they're

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Speaker 1: living in these dorms and they're all friends and some

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Speaker 1: of them, you know, hook up, but they sit in

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Speaker 1: a sauna all the time, but as naked having normal conversations.

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Speaker 1: And then I said, I couldn't do that with anybody.

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Speaker 1: Maybe Nate, uh, you know, in a sauna and they

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Speaker 1: have a conversation, but I just I couldn't do it.

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Speaker 1: Then that's where Scotty said he could. I'm looking at

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Speaker 1: the photo of the photos of all the actors in

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Speaker 1: Tiny Pretty Things. If you look like that, you can

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Speaker 1: sit around exactly if you have a dancers body like that.

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Speaker 1: I've been having like serious conversations. They're like, hey, like

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Speaker 1: you should go to the cops and tell them you

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Speaker 1: did not kill and like they're both naked, Like that's

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Speaker 1: it's not like a normal conversation. I can scary about naked.

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Speaker 1: You're saying that to me right now while your dick

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Speaker 1: is looking at me half you can don't think anyone

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Speaker 1: should be naked on a show called Tiny Little Things though, right?

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Speaker 1: That's kind of cruel. Oh boy, so Scotty, you if

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Speaker 1: you and I were brought at the urinal, we couldn't

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Speaker 1: have a conversation. I have a hard time talking to

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Speaker 1: I have a difficult time talking to people when my

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Speaker 1: penis is in my hand. I just don't. Is that

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Speaker 1: why you pee in the stall? Scotty? Sometimes I pee

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Speaker 1: in the stall, but normally I p I usually pe

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Speaker 1: in the stall when I'm wearing flip flops because you

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Speaker 1: get splash, black smash back from the urinal. So that's

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Speaker 1: why I'll do that in the summer. You're saying you

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Speaker 1: cannot speak to someone else with your penis in your hand.

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Speaker 1: Can you speak to them if the penis is in

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Speaker 1: their hand? Question? Um, I don't know something online that

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Speaker 1: has me so depressed, so sad. The closest Popeyes to

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Speaker 1: me is fourteen and a half miles away that if

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Speaker 1: I had a car, my son. Scary is seamless for you.

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Speaker 1: They don't bring seamless that Popeye's will be that they're

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Speaker 1: on Uber Eats. They're actually very good. You can actually,

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Speaker 1: but there's a certain sary scary. You're once again proving

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Speaker 1: you're a New Yorker at you're a city boy. You

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Speaker 1: don't understand what it's like to not live in the city.

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Speaker 1: Uber Eats doesn't even they can't even don't use they

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Speaker 1: don't even use the letter you in my neighborhood. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but you do have seamless correct No, no, none of

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Speaker 1: the food services. Scary. Okay, let me tell you something

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Speaker 1: about where I live. Live out in the middle of nowhere.

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Speaker 1: The first time Scary visited, he put the club on

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Speaker 1: his steering wheel in my driveway and they turn the

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Speaker 1: alarm on. I'm like, Scary. People don't even don't even

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Speaker 1: have a house alarms out here. I do, just for

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Speaker 1: the reck So Elvis. My nieces and nephews live about

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Speaker 1: like forty five minutes past you, and they just got

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Speaker 1: their first pizza delivery, like because the pizza that pizza

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Speaker 1: place said you need to do something, so they go,

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Speaker 1: let's deliver. So they got the delivery that in the

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Speaker 1: house they've been living in for almost twenty years the

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Speaker 1: first time this year. Can you imagine it's like being

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Speaker 1: the first on your on your street. I have a TV.

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Speaker 1: So the only thing they delivered to my house. John

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Speaker 1: Dear delivers tractors. That's my God, you know, said something

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Speaker 1: like you did something my son does. So when my

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Speaker 1: when we're gonna go to dinner, he'll go, how far

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Speaker 1: is it? And I'll go, I don't know, like ten

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Speaker 1: miles Oh that's too far. I'm like, asshole, we're not walking,

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Speaker 1: we have a car. Like, what do you give if

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Speaker 1: it's ten miles or miles? You're right, You're right, I know.

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Speaker 1: But when I when I lived in the apartment in

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Speaker 1: the city, I could walk blocks. Popeyes was waiting for

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Speaker 1: dangerously close. But if I don't get a Popeye's sandwich

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Speaker 1: in my hole this one today, clarify for the people listening. Okay,

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Speaker 1: your question the So I went to a Popeye's yesterday,

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Speaker 1: and obviously you can't sit inside the Popeyes to eat,

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Speaker 1: so I sat in my car outside of the Popeyes. However,

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Speaker 1: what is more depressing sitting alone inside fast food restaurant

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Speaker 1: or sitting in your car in the fast food parking lot? Neither?

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Speaker 1: Why didn't care? And I just wanted to by yourself

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Speaker 1: in the restaurant. I'd rather eat my car at the

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Speaker 1: very end of the parking lot by myself. I thought

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Speaker 1: it was funny. I went to Wendy's yesterday and got

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Speaker 1: First of all, this is a whole different thing, but

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Speaker 1: they have the new Classic Chicken sandwich, which doesn't make

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Speaker 1: any sense to me. But I was eating my new

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Speaker 1: Classic Chicken sandwich in my car on the first parking spot,

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Speaker 1: and I turned to the right and the guy in

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Speaker 1: the car was sitting there next to me eating. Everybody

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Speaker 1: was sitting in the parking lot by themselves eating, especially

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Speaker 1: especially now, especially now, there's there's nothing wrong with that.

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Speaker 1: I think it's worse if you're sitting in the car

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Speaker 1: alone then if you're driving in the car alone, because

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Speaker 1: if you're driving, you're doing other things. You needed food

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Speaker 1: that was mobile. If you're just sitting there getting food

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Speaker 1: on yourself, sitting alone in a walking lot, to me,

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Speaker 1: that's worse. Said, not only did you want a fast

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Speaker 1: food and life through, but now you have nowhere to go.

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Speaker 1: You could have just sat in the place, but you

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Speaker 1: use the car excuse and now you're just sitting there.

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Speaker 1: That's lame. That is. If I'm eating in my car

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Speaker 1: by myself, like fast food, I feel guilty. I feel

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Speaker 1: like I'm hiding it from somebody doing this. And then

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Speaker 1: you ordered two drinks in the drive food because you

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Speaker 1: ordered so much food. It listen to food for two people. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Bringing it back to work, Mike, Yeah, my buddy, I

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm on the run from the law when

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Speaker 1: I eat in my car I feel like I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to get away. I always stopped at my neighbor's garbage

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Speaker 1: can and put the trash in there. Cancer. Nobody in

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Speaker 1: my house knows I ate fast food. Listen, no one

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Speaker 1: has any reason to be ashamed for eating your car

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Speaker 1: or hiding. If you eat something, don't try to hide it,

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Speaker 1: because that could be a little problem if you hide

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Speaker 1: your rappers from people. Do you ever drop like a

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Speaker 1: French fry down the side of the car and then

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Speaker 1: the next day you come in the car and you

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Speaker 1: smell it and you're like, still smells like fast food

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Speaker 1: in here because of that French fry down the side

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Speaker 1: of my from the gas station stations, from the gas station, supermarket,

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Speaker 1: same thing. But are you going the house with food

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Speaker 1: next year? If you drop food next to your seat,

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Speaker 1: I'll move the seat, pull up the carpeting. You can't

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Speaker 1: leave food in the card. It's taken of all you waste.

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Speaker 1: The differences that you keep a clean car the rest car.

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Speaker 1: My car so dirty you have to wipe your feet

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Speaker 1: when you get out a clean car. I don't waste food.

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Speaker 1: There's a difference. Okay, okay, I'm not going after the frikes.

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Speaker 1: I care about the cleanlon Is. Let me tell you,

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Speaker 1: doing the show and the den has given you this

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Speaker 1: little crazy attitude. You're a little sassy in your den.

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Speaker 1: That's right, because I have a den. Bitches, sounds like

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Speaker 1: we are we're away over fifteen minutes over? How much

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Speaker 1: over are we? Uh? Two and a half minutes? Do

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Speaker 1: you apply that to tomorrow show on Friday? I guess

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Speaker 1: we'll reply to Monday's. Well, this has been interesting. Bye

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Speaker 1: bye Tootles. The fifteen Minute Morning Show