1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,360
Speaker 1: Welcome to Stuff to Blow your Mind production of My

2
00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:15,280
Speaker 1: Heart Radio. Hey you welcome to Weird House Cinema. This

3
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:18,880
Speaker 1: is Rob Lamb and this is Joe McCormick. When it

4
00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:22,600
Speaker 1: comes to holiday movies that can be classified as weird

5
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:27,479
Speaker 1: or bad or psychotronic, or or whatever descriptor you choose,

6
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:32,920
Speaker 1: the films Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. I'm gonna probably

7
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,920
Speaker 1: refer back to it incorrectly as Santa Claus versus the Martians,

8
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:39,560
Speaker 1: but it is Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. This is

9
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,320
Speaker 1: a film that just really stands out. Even if you

10
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:46,240
Speaker 1: strip away the holiday aspects of the movie, it's still

11
00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:51,080
Speaker 1: one of the weirder and when entertainingly weird films you

12
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:55,320
Speaker 1: could dig up from the twentieth century. I think that

13
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,960
Speaker 1: they should have kept the ending a little bit more

14
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,880
Speaker 1: of a cliffhanger, like they tell you the end in

15
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,200
Speaker 1: the title. Yeah, Well, you know kids are watching. You

16
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,080
Speaker 1: don't want him to be in distress over what's going

17
00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:08,320
Speaker 1: to occur, but well, oh yeah, Otherwise the kids would

18
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,560
Speaker 1: be worried that Voldar actually does murder Santa Clause in

19
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:15,760
Speaker 1: the airlock of the spaceship. Yeah. Also, I think Conquers

20
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,960
Speaker 1: is a little misleading. It brings to mind a certain

21
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:23,800
Speaker 1: image of Santa bringing the people of Mars, you know,

22
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:28,120
Speaker 1: under his heel, and proclaiming Mars to be the domain

23
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,679
Speaker 1: of Santa. It doesn't really work like that. I guess

24
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:35,000
Speaker 1: it's more of a like a spiritual conquering. He conquers

25
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:40,520
Speaker 1: a certain Martian mindset. He uh, he conquers the mindset

26
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,840
Speaker 1: of the Martian who wants all of life to be

27
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:47,319
Speaker 1: serious and violent and adult. Yes, this is a really

28
00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:50,040
Speaker 1: fun film. I'm looking forward to discussing it here and

29
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,240
Speaker 1: and really, I guess the other exciting thing about it

30
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,360
Speaker 1: is like it's a film that's so weird and so

31
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,640
Speaker 1: amusing that I believe it's come up numerous times on

32
00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,920
Speaker 1: Weird House and Stuff to blow your mind before, like

33
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,000
Speaker 1: anytime we've been talking about Santa clause, but also sometimes

34
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,720
Speaker 1: just when we're talking about science fiction films. There's a

35
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,600
Speaker 1: particular set in this movie that I believe I referenced

36
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:12,600
Speaker 1: when we were talking about Mario Baba's Planet to the Vampires. Oh,

37
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,800
Speaker 1: that makes sense, the craggy planet surface set, which I

38
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,960
Speaker 1: think may also be exactly the same as the North

39
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,360
Speaker 1: Pole set, except with the north pole they covered it

40
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:25,280
Speaker 1: in snow. Yeah, they just got a flocking gun or whatever. Yeah,

41
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:29,560
Speaker 1: but either way, it's a it's a a strange landscape

42
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:33,600
Speaker 1: of kind of twisted topography or a little like spires

43
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,600
Speaker 1: and things poke up out of the ground right right.

44
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,799
Speaker 1: And we end up too with the with the classic

45
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:43,040
Speaker 1: spaceship landing legs set, where you you're not going to

46
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,360
Speaker 1: show the whole spaceship, but you can show the landing

47
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,240
Speaker 1: legs and have people climbing down from it. Uh. They

48
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,600
Speaker 1: did Planet the Vampires to great effect, and they do

49
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:55,480
Speaker 1: it here in an amusing way. I see the shared DNA. Yes,

50
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:58,440
Speaker 1: so yeah, this is a tremendously fun film. The premise

51
00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:02,160
Speaker 1: is wild, and yet, as as Michael Weldon points out

52
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:05,520
Speaker 1: in his review for the Psychotronic Encyclopedia film quote, the

53
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:10,880
Speaker 1: spirit of Christmas shines through. Because while choices of every

54
00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:14,440
Speaker 1: sort can be called into question regarding this film, and

55
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,760
Speaker 1: certainly we'll we'll we'll discuss many of them, it's commitment

56
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:22,520
Speaker 1: to a childlike wonderment for the holidays is just above reproach. Yes,

57
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:26,320
Speaker 1: from my own part, I've been watching this film for years,

58
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:30,400
Speaker 1: at least as far back as whenever I first sawisode

59
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,960
Speaker 1: of Misrease Science Theater three thousand. They of course famously

60
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,200
Speaker 1: riffed this movie. I think it was later riffed on

61
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:41,280
Speaker 1: Cinematic Titanic and then also on riffed tracks. So I've

62
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,720
Speaker 1: revisited this film via these episodes with friends and family,

63
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,080
Speaker 1: I guess for decades at this point. But this isn't

64
00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,800
Speaker 1: the only way to enjoy the film. Before Joe and

65
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,920
Speaker 1: the Box came around, plenty of people were enjoying the

66
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,960
Speaker 1: heck out of Santa Claus Conquerors the Martians. In fact,

67
00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,600
Speaker 1: I once went into a furniture store in Rocky Mountain,

68
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,760
Speaker 1: North Carolina, and what were they playing on like multiple

69
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:07,400
Speaker 1: televisions during the holidays. It was Santa Claus Conquerors the Martians.

70
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:09,480
Speaker 1: I asked the owner. It's like, oh, did you learn

71
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,080
Speaker 1: about this in MS teams like, oh, no, this is

72
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,120
Speaker 1: just the movie we watch every year. What's MS take?

73
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:17,560
Speaker 1: So I always always enjoyed that. Wow, that's interesting. It

74
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:20,400
Speaker 1: seems like whenever I go into a place of business

75
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,920
Speaker 1: that has a TV on, it's just news or it's

76
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:25,359
Speaker 1: like it's like local news that's always just a segment

77
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,479
Speaker 1: showing like a body outline drawn on the ground or

78
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:32,719
Speaker 1: like or it's Fox News or something like that. Well

79
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:35,240
Speaker 1: in this case, it was Santa Claus Conquerors the Martians.

80
00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:37,320
Speaker 1: And I don't go into a lot of furniture shops,

81
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,960
Speaker 1: so this is this is the memory I choose to

82
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:43,200
Speaker 1: keep of what it's like inside one. So this year

83
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,479
Speaker 1: I watched it with my my wife and my son.

84
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,760
Speaker 1: We had a great time. My son insisted that we

85
00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:51,359
Speaker 1: do the unriffed version of it, which I was happy

86
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,720
Speaker 1: to to apply John, and it was a lot of fun.

87
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,400
Speaker 1: My son enjoyed the goofness of it all, but also

88
00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:01,359
Speaker 1: enjoyed questioning the logic of its many lot choices. But

89
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,920
Speaker 1: he's also a real Christmas kid at this point, Uh

90
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,240
Speaker 1: just really gung home for Christmas, and so he really

91
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,240
Speaker 1: dug all the holiday vibes as well. I could not

92
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:15,400
Speaker 1: help but compare this movie to the other main Christmas

93
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,080
Speaker 1: movie that was covered on Mystery Science Theater, which is

94
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:23,320
Speaker 1: the nineteen fifty nine Renee cardon Junior Mexican film Santa Claus,

95
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:27,120
Speaker 1: also known I think as Santa Claus versus the Devil. Yes,

96
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:33,719
Speaker 1: and several differences stand out. They're both fantastically entertaining in

97
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:37,120
Speaker 1: their own ways. But one of the things that really

98
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,520
Speaker 1: stood out as a difference is that the Mexican film

99
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:44,440
Speaker 1: emphasizes that the spirit of Christmas is love and appreciation

100
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:49,120
Speaker 1: for family and selflessness and charity, like the strong moral

101
00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:53,000
Speaker 1: themes in the fifty nine Mexican Santa Claus. Santa Claus

102
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,760
Speaker 1: Conquers the Martians is very much more that the spirit

103
00:05:55,760 --> 00:06:00,720
Speaker 1: of Christmas is fun and it is about laughter and toys,

104
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,839
Speaker 1: and that the real threat. So that the villain in

105
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:08,640
Speaker 1: the fifty nine Santa Claus is the devil, because of

106
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:12,360
Speaker 1: course the devil opposes charity and goodwill and love and

107
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:16,400
Speaker 1: all those moral values, whereas in this movie the villain

108
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:22,000
Speaker 1: is someone who opposes nuisances, who opposes noise and laughter

109
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:26,320
Speaker 1: and silliness. Yeah. Yeah, the devil wouldn't really have a

110
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,679
Speaker 1: place in this movie because the devil would just be like, hey,

111
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:32,160
Speaker 1: I'm fine, nobody ever accuses me of not being fun. Yeah,

112
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:35,200
Speaker 1: So yeah, it is interesting to compare those two. Of course,

113
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:38,400
Speaker 1: both Santa Vie Martians and Santa Vie Devil are important

114
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:43,279
Speaker 1: legal presidents for our celebration of the holidays. Uh uh.

115
00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:46,640
Speaker 1: And and one is Yeah, one is more uh theological

116
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:48,960
Speaker 1: than the other, but both raise a lot of questions.

117
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,920
Speaker 1: You know, what does it mean when you have your

118
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:54,280
Speaker 1: Santa mythos and now the devil is involved? What does

119
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:59,359
Speaker 1: it mean when now interplanetary conflict is involved. They both

120
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:03,800
Speaker 1: also have a surprising number of science fiction gadgets. Santa

121
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,760
Speaker 1: Claus conquers the Martians has everything from the freeze gun

122
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:10,480
Speaker 1: to the tickle wand and all the other manner of

123
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:13,000
Speaker 1: things in between we'll talk about when we get into

124
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:16,000
Speaker 1: the plot. Whereas the fifty nine Santa Claus has the

125
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:19,040
Speaker 1: flower to disappear and it has those like lips on

126
00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,679
Speaker 1: a tentacle or whatever that poke out of Santa Claus

127
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:26,080
Speaker 1: is hideout in space. Yeah. I love when a Christmas

128
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,960
Speaker 1: movie is not afraid to get invented and come up

129
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,400
Speaker 1: with new twists and turns. Even if it's terrible, it's

130
00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,200
Speaker 1: a lot of fun. Like I'm thinking of that Dudley

131
00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:37,000
Speaker 1: more John Lithcow movie Santa Claus. Did you ever see

132
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,040
Speaker 1: this one? It's I haven't seen it since I was

133
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,440
Speaker 1: a kid, But even as a kid, I could tell

134
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,280
Speaker 1: this movie was bad but also a lot of fun.

135
00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,520
Speaker 1: It had to do with something about candy canes that

136
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,040
Speaker 1: if you ate them, it would make you fly. And

137
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,720
Speaker 1: that's about the only thing I remember. And John Lithgow

138
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:56,200
Speaker 1: is an evil corporate enemy of Santa Claus. I don't

139
00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,440
Speaker 1: remember how Dudley. I think Dudley more than Elf. I'm

140
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:01,400
Speaker 1: not sure. Before you said evil corporate, I was trying

141
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,600
Speaker 1: to imagine what it could be, and I thought of

142
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:08,280
Speaker 1: John Lithgow in his Buckaroo Bond's Eye role versus Santa Claus.

143
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,600
Speaker 1: Now that would be good. Santa Claus versus the I

144
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,880
Speaker 1: don't know, you know, the John Smallberries whatever you call

145
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:18,040
Speaker 1: him in that movie. By the way, speaking of Santa

146
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:23,119
Speaker 1: Claus the Devil, if you are Atlanta based, I believe

147
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,760
Speaker 1: what is next week? Video Drone and the Plaza Theater

148
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,920
Speaker 1: are going to have that on the big screen. Thumbs up.

149
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,320
Speaker 1: All right, So what's the elevator pitch for this movie? Well,

150
00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:35,240
Speaker 1: I think it basically comes down to Santa Claus becoming

151
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:39,280
Speaker 1: a central figure in an interplanetary conflict. Maybe we should

152
00:08:39,320 --> 00:09:06,280
Speaker 1: hear some trailer audio Santa Claus conquerors the Martians. Santa

153
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:15,520
Speaker 1: set up a fantastic automatic toy factory on Mars. The

154
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,040
Speaker 1: Martian leaguer battles the Wicked bold Are in a desperate

155
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:21,920
Speaker 1: effort to save set up the Wise Man of Mars

156
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:31,680
Speaker 1: nine hundred years old, the Battle of the Toys, when

157
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:34,440
Speaker 1: Martian kids and Earth kids joined set up to battle

158
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:52,679
Speaker 1: the bad guys of Mars for real space age one.

159
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:56,800
Speaker 1: You will be out of this world when Santa Claus

160
00:09:56,840 --> 00:10:07,480
Speaker 1: conquers the Martians. All right, sounds pretty fun, right, It

161
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,400
Speaker 1: sounds like all your kids should just pile into the

162
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,480
Speaker 1: theater for this one. Get out of the cold. It's

163
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,240
Speaker 1: time for some cheer. I did not listen to the trailer.

164
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,240
Speaker 1: Does it sing the song? No, it does not. It

165
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,240
Speaker 1: has some other jaunty, kind of dancy track going on

166
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,040
Speaker 1: in the background. But I don't believe this is the

167
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,040
Speaker 1: theme song. I mean, I guess we could play a

168
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,000
Speaker 1: little bit of the theme song, or we could just

169
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,640
Speaker 1: sing it. Um. I was actually you can, you can

170
00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:32,480
Speaker 1: stream it like on Spotify and stuff. So I was

171
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,760
Speaker 1: playing it this morning in the car, you know, and

172
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:39,040
Speaker 1: it's like, hooray for santi Clause s A N T

173
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:48,079
Speaker 1: A C l A U s A ray for santi Clause. Yeah,

174
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,480
Speaker 1: you'll hear that a number of times. What did they

175
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,200
Speaker 1: say he's he's round and fat, but jumping Jiminy. He

176
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,640
Speaker 1: can fit down any chimney, which becomes a plot point

177
00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:01,600
Speaker 1: in the film. It's how Santa escaped certain death in space. Yeah,

178
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,560
Speaker 1: if there's a ventilation system, he's a master of it.

179
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:09,160
Speaker 1: He finds some fun ways to use the existing mythology

180
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,880
Speaker 1: of Santa here. I would say this song sounds like

181
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:15,400
Speaker 1: a mix between It's like half something that would be

182
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:19,480
Speaker 1: on Sergeant Peppers and then half. If you've ever heard

183
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:23,760
Speaker 1: that Most Unwanted Song created by the that like Russian

184
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:29,040
Speaker 1: art duo, that's, you know, combining children's choirs singing about

185
00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:34,360
Speaker 1: holidays in Walmart with opera rapping and cowboy music, Yeah,

186
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,880
Speaker 1: I mean I have heard that, and the comparison is

187
00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:40,560
Speaker 1: not altogether unfair. But but I don't know. I like

188
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,800
Speaker 1: this track. I've had it stuck in my head the

189
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,640
Speaker 1: last couple of days since I rewatched the movie. It

190
00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,559
Speaker 1: has that trumpet part that like really watched the chassis

191
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,040
Speaker 1: trumpet part. Now, maybe that's why I was thinking of

192
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,280
Speaker 1: that song too, because the trumpet part, I guess, kind

193
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,000
Speaker 1: of reminded me of like the tuba riff in The

194
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:59,559
Speaker 1: Most Unwanted Song, it'll push the boundaries of your tolerance

195
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:12,160
Speaker 1: for crazy easy trumpet solos. Yeah. All right. So if

196
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:15,640
Speaker 1: you haven't seen Santa Claus conquer As the Martians, um, obviously,

197
00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:19,319
Speaker 1: I highly encourage you to do so. It's pretty widely available.

198
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,720
Speaker 1: When I went to I went to stream it on Prime.

199
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,640
Speaker 1: There were multiple options, one of which was included in Prime.

200
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,560
Speaker 1: So I think I don't know what the rights issue

201
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,200
Speaker 1: is with this film, but there seemed to be so

202
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:32,200
Speaker 1: many ways to view it. There's even a at least

203
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,080
Speaker 1: one DVD release of it. It's labeled as as remastered,

204
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,120
Speaker 1: so that might be worth looking into. I'm not sure. Oh,

205
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,640
Speaker 1: I don't know if I could handle this in high death.

206
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:46,560
Speaker 1: A lot of the designs in this movie are kind

207
00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:49,439
Speaker 1: of on the cheap side, but also pretty enjoyable to

208
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,079
Speaker 1: look at. But one thing that was not enjoyable to

209
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,600
Speaker 1: look at was any close up on the Martians faces

210
00:12:55,640 --> 00:13:00,920
Speaker 1: with their green makeup, which just looked like filth or sometimes.

211
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,440
Speaker 1: I was watching it with Rachel and she compared it

212
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,640
Speaker 1: to uh. She said, they look like Charlie Sheen and

213
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,720
Speaker 1: Platoon when he's got like the green camo makeup on

214
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:12,839
Speaker 1: his face. Yeah, and you can you can tell that

215
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,160
Speaker 1: as as is often the case that any filmed it

216
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,280
Speaker 1: inquired little cars makeup like this. It kind of varies

217
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,480
Speaker 1: depending on the shot how well it's applied. And my

218
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,240
Speaker 1: son was picking up on this, He's like, why is

219
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:26,000
Speaker 1: why is his neck not green in this one? Or

220
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,000
Speaker 1: or later on, just kind of commenting on the quality

221
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,560
Speaker 1: of it, like, Okay, looks pretty good in this scene,

222
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,560
Speaker 1: looks pretty good here, but always looks kind of greasy.

223
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,720
Speaker 1: Like I was just thinking about these actors. I was like, man,

224
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,960
Speaker 1: after they're done filming for the day, I bet they're

225
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:42,680
Speaker 1: they're really looking forward to a shower. Yes, speaking of

226
00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:44,840
Speaker 1: the actors, Yeah, as we get into the people of

227
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:47,880
Speaker 1: note here, basically the case with this film, and you

228
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:52,600
Speaker 1: know we're not a hardcore film history podcast here, but

229
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,000
Speaker 1: the basic scenario seems to be you had some TV

230
00:13:56,080 --> 00:14:00,400
Speaker 1: filmmakers and producers that decided to make the greatest Santa

231
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:04,600
Speaker 1: movie of all time and they turned I believe this

232
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,920
Speaker 1: was made in New Jersey and they turned a Broadway

233
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,040
Speaker 1: for their talent. So a great many, if not all,

234
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:14,320
Speaker 1: of the main actors in this film are sourced from

235
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:18,200
Speaker 1: the Broadway scene of the day. So in looking everybody

236
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,360
Speaker 1: up actually had to go to the Internet Broadway Database

237
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,240
Speaker 1: a little bit to do a little research on on

238
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,760
Speaker 1: who these individuals were. Alright, let's start at the top.

239
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:30,360
Speaker 1: The director was Nicholas Webster, who lived nineteen twelve through

240
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,800
Speaker 1: two thousand and six, mostly a TV director, and after

241
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,040
Speaker 1: this he went on to work on episodes of such

242
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:41,000
Speaker 1: shows as Bonanza, Gets Smart, The Immortal Mannix, and In

243
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:45,280
Speaker 1: Search Of, particularly the episodes on Bigfoot, The Power of

244
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:51,080
Speaker 1: London Murders, and Eva Braun huh okay. He also wrote

245
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,600
Speaker 1: four episodes of In Search Of. For those of you

246
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:57,040
Speaker 1: not familiar, this was This was Leondard Demoy hosted basically

247
00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:00,600
Speaker 1: a conspiracy theory show of the day that I think

248
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,640
Speaker 1: was perhaps well intended, but also helped to further promote

249
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:07,440
Speaker 1: some ideas such as um ancient aliens and so forth.

250
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,720
Speaker 1: And when I was a kid, they would show reruns

251
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,440
Speaker 1: of this on A and E and that's how I'm

252
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,720
Speaker 1: familiar with it. But he wrote some of the episodes,

253
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:17,640
Speaker 1: and he also wrote and directed the Bigfoot documentary Man Beast,

254
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:22,880
Speaker 1: exclamation Point, Myth or monster question mark from was it

255
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:28,000
Speaker 1: a documentary or like a a fictional documentary? Well? Um,

256
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,200
Speaker 1: that the title would lead me to believe there's at

257
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:34,120
Speaker 1: least a hefty dash of fiction in there. Oh well, no,

258
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,120
Speaker 1: no, no no, I meant like a mockumentary. I guess. I

259
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,840
Speaker 1: don't know. Given his connection to In Search of I

260
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:45,560
Speaker 1: suspect it's leaning more into them the longing for Bigfoot, Well,

261
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:48,400
Speaker 1: who can blame him? And I hope Nicholas Webster here

262
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,280
Speaker 1: cast the same actor to wear a Bigfoot suit that

263
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,440
Speaker 1: he cast to wear a robot suit in this movie,

264
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,760
Speaker 1: I hope. So. Now, for as far as the writing

265
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:02,280
Speaker 1: on this movie goes, there's a screenplay credit for Glenville

266
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:05,040
Speaker 1: Marath and it's based on a story by the producer

267
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:09,480
Speaker 1: Paul L. Jacobson, who died in These are the only

268
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,280
Speaker 1: credits I could come across for either of these individuals

269
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,880
Speaker 1: as far as writing goes, So, um, yeah, they're They're

270
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,360
Speaker 1: the scribes we have to thank for this wild idea.

271
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:24,240
Speaker 1: I'd say, just in terms of acting talent, I think

272
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:27,800
Speaker 1: probably the people with the most star power in this cast,

273
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,920
Speaker 1: I would say, are the guy playing Santa Claus and

274
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:34,800
Speaker 1: the guy playing Volder, the villain. Yes, so Santa Claus

275
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:39,120
Speaker 1: is played by John call. John Call lived through nineteen

276
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,720
Speaker 1: seventy three, and he was active in films from one

277
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:46,840
Speaker 1: through one that's when his last film was released, The

278
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,440
Speaker 1: Anderson Anderson Tapes. This was directed by Sydney lu May

279
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:54,240
Speaker 1: and it starred Sean Connery and Christopher Walkin. Uh but

280
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,320
Speaker 1: this is just a bit part for Big John call

281
00:16:56,440 --> 00:17:00,240
Speaker 1: this was he played O'Leary, the doorman. Like any of

282
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,720
Speaker 1: the cast members here, he had a Broadway career and,

283
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,399
Speaker 1: among other roles, played at Dr grim Wig in a

284
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:10,200
Speaker 1: nine through sixty four production of Oliver the Musical and

285
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,960
Speaker 1: uh Yeah and this he is one of the highlights

286
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,439
Speaker 1: of the film. He's this He's kind of hard to

287
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:19,600
Speaker 1: describe because he's definitely Santa, but he's like slightly over jolly.

288
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:24,040
Speaker 1: He tells bad jokes all the time. He almost comes

289
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:28,320
Speaker 1: off a little intoxicated. He's slightly mischievous. This is Santa

290
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,520
Speaker 1: with a with a twinkle in his eye of a

291
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,840
Speaker 1: different kind than you might imagine, Like he makes some

292
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:36,000
Speaker 1: jokes at other people's expenses, even though he's the nice

293
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:39,920
Speaker 1: guy of the movie. And he also there's a thing

294
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,880
Speaker 1: he does in several scenes where he just laughs at

295
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:46,520
Speaker 1: someone like a maniac until they are forced to start

296
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:51,280
Speaker 1: laughing with him. Yeah, he invented laughter yoga basically. But yeah,

297
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,440
Speaker 1: he is overflowing with holiday cheer here. It's just it's

298
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:59,600
Speaker 1: just infectious and perhaps a little dangerous. All right, let's

299
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,360
Speaker 1: get in to u some the other ca. We're gonna

300
00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:03,359
Speaker 1: talk about a couple of Martians here, and Joe, you

301
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:07,320
Speaker 1: made some discoveries about the naming of the Martians. Oh well,

302
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 1: so the several of the like the main Martian family,

303
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,800
Speaker 1: their names all end in the word Mar, and the

304
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,720
Speaker 1: first half of their names correspond to what role they

305
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,800
Speaker 1: have in the family. So you have the leader of

306
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,480
Speaker 1: the Martians Keemar, which I saw suggested on the internet.

307
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,119
Speaker 1: That is short for King of Mars, which makes sense

308
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,160
Speaker 1: k I m a r. And then his wife, who

309
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,879
Speaker 1: is the mother of their children, is called Momar, so

310
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,840
Speaker 1: I guess she's like mother Mars. And then the children

311
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:41,320
Speaker 1: are Beaumar and Germer like boy Mars and girl Mars.

312
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:45,720
Speaker 1: It doesn't exactly sound great. It's I think they could

313
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,719
Speaker 1: have come up with better, but that's what we're left with. Okay,

314
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,920
Speaker 1: I like that. This is I've got some new insight now,

315
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,320
Speaker 1: all right. So yeah, starting with the father, this is

316
00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:57,040
Speaker 1: the Father Knows Best of of the Martian clan here

317
00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:03,159
Speaker 1: Keemar played by Leonard Hicks, who en through and h

318
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,040
Speaker 1: I think I've looked into his biography before, because, like

319
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:09,160
Speaker 1: I said, I've been watching this movie for so long now. Um,

320
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,280
Speaker 1: this is the most prominent of only three screen credits

321
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,800
Speaker 1: that he has, and he only has three credits on

322
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:18,040
Speaker 1: the Internet Broadway database, which of course doesn't mean he

323
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:22,679
Speaker 1: wasn't active elsewhere on the stage. Um. According to his

324
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,639
Speaker 1: oh bit in The New York Times, he appeared in

325
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:28,240
Speaker 1: productions at the Sharon Playhouse, the Living Theater, and the

326
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:31,440
Speaker 1: New York Shakespeare Festival. Uh. He had a real presence

327
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,280
Speaker 1: in this film. I feel like he has this kind

328
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:36,439
Speaker 1: of stern yet loving Martian Dad Knows Best. Seems like

329
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,080
Speaker 1: this is a guy that would have been a natural

330
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:41,880
Speaker 1: cowboy actor of the time. Yeah, he is very stern,

331
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:46,040
Speaker 1: very serious, but not cruel like the next guy we're

332
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 1: going to talk about. He's kind of a green eagle

333
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,640
Speaker 1: of a man. Yeah. Volder. Do you do you think

334
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,800
Speaker 1: that v the is like villain? Is that where we're

335
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:59,000
Speaker 1: getting this? Oh? Yeah, yeah villain? Yeah yeah, Volder is

336
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:03,640
Speaker 1: the bad guy of the v Volder. This uh, very

337
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:08,120
Speaker 1: tough looking Martian with this amazing mustache, played by Vincent Beck,

338
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:12,680
Speaker 1: who lived ninety four four. Another Broadway actor who worked

339
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 1: in a lot of film and television as a character actor,

340
00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:19,560
Speaker 1: often playing heavies. Unsurprisingly, he had notable roles in seventy

341
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:23,320
Speaker 1: Nines and Justice for All as a comp and ninety

342
00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 1: seven is the Spy in the Green Hat. And he

343
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 1: did a lot of TV work, popping up in bit

344
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,119
Speaker 1: parts on shows like Gilligan's Island, The Man from Uncle

345
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 1: Bonan's Mr Ed, the Time Tunnel, and The Monkeys. His

346
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:40,240
Speaker 1: final film was two William Lustig movie titled Vigilante, which

347
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,560
Speaker 1: seems to be in the death wish vein of cinema

348
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,879
Speaker 1: of that time period. But he plays a judge in

349
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 1: that was this movie also just called alternate title Street Gangs.

350
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,359
Speaker 1: It may have been. Uh, It's like I I saw

351
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,679
Speaker 1: the basic pitch for it, and I'm like, this is

352
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,760
Speaker 1: not a movie I really want to know anymore about.

353
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,600
Speaker 1: But yeah, out of those had double names, so like,

354
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 1: you know, let's let's release it again. It's more scandalous name. Please,

355
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,399
Speaker 1: let's touch into other areas of fear. Yeah, but Vincent

356
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:11,199
Speaker 1: Beck is fantastic in this role. He's one of my

357
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:15,640
Speaker 1: favorite actors in the movie. He's just relentlessly grim. He's

358
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:20,119
Speaker 1: got this deep voice, muscular physique, this thick black mustache,

359
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:26,720
Speaker 1: and all he ever wants is seriousness and anger and war. Yeah. Yeah,

360
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:30,080
Speaker 1: he's a terrific enemy of Christmas. Like such a terrific

361
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:33,240
Speaker 1: enemy of Christmas. He belongs in the like the proper

362
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:37,560
Speaker 1: overarching pantheon of the Holidays. And oh, man, can you

363
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 1: imagine Voldar and uh in Pitch the Devil Ever teamed

364
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 1: up to take on Santa Claus. I think they might

365
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,240
Speaker 1: pull it off. I don't know if they would work

366
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,920
Speaker 1: well together, because I believe Pitch would be too silly

367
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:52,800
Speaker 1: for Voldar. Like Pitch is engaging in exactly the the

368
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:57,120
Speaker 1: mischief and antics and dancing about that. Voldar is expressly

369
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,439
Speaker 1: the most against the thing he doesn't want happening is

370
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 1: children of Mars having fun and getting underfoot with their play. Now,

371
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 1: when it comes to play on Mars, there is no

372
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:13,879
Speaker 1: greater violator of voldar sensibilities regarding marsh and silliness than Drop.

373
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:17,880
Speaker 1: Oh he is a silly man, drop O. And we'll

374
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,760
Speaker 1: we'll talk a lot about Dropo. Here in a bet

375
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,320
Speaker 1: Um he has the silly marsh and he's the laziest

376
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 1: man on Mars, played by the late great Bill McCutcheon

377
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 1: who lived four through two thousand and two. This for

378
00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:32,320
Speaker 1: me is one of the highlights of the film as well. Like,

379
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:37,119
Speaker 1: this performance is just so silly it is. Um, you know,

380
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,000
Speaker 1: you could compare it to I think you could easily

381
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:42,159
Speaker 1: compare it to the antics of Sam Martin short in

382
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 1: more recent cinematic history. Like there's that level of goofy

383
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:49,879
Speaker 1: energy to it, where there's no wasted motion, all everything,

384
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 1: all the the individual's energy is put into the performance.

385
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Dropo is burning ten thousand calories an hour.

386
00:22:56,560 --> 00:23:00,359
Speaker 1: He like he never stops. Yeah, this is a oddly

387
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 1: comedic role. And uh yeah, he's just positively possessed with

388
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:09,480
Speaker 1: childlike wonder and childlike glee for Christmas. And this is uh,

389
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 1: this is Bill McCutchen, who was a highly accomplished character

390
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 1: actor and also a Tony Award winner. He won a

391
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 1: Tony Award for his role as moon Faced Martin in

392
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 1: The Revival. If anything goes I don't know anything about that. Um,

393
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 1: I don't know a lot about it either. I think

394
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,879
Speaker 1: it's I get the impression he's playing a gangster or

395
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,879
Speaker 1: something in it. I saw some some some photographs from

396
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,639
Speaker 1: the the production, but that's about it. We'll have to

397
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:36,840
Speaker 1: hear from our our theater listeners out there if you

398
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,440
Speaker 1: have any anything you'd like to add on these various musicals.

399
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 1: I don't know a lot about musicals unless they have

400
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 1: a monster or a murderer in them, in which case

401
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 1: there's a good chance I've seen them. He was also

402
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:51,720
Speaker 1: nominated for an Any Award for playing Uncle Wally on

403
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:56,480
Speaker 1: Sesame Street. Do you remember Uncle Wally? Uh, not explicitly,

404
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,400
Speaker 1: but when you showed me pictures, this kind of looks familiar,

405
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,399
Speaker 1: so I'm sure I saw him. Yeah, I think. He

406
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 1: was also nominated for an Emmy for playing Young Joe

407
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 1: on the TV movie That Forgotten Kennedy in nineteen seventy eight,

408
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 1: and he also had some fairly big film roles. He

409
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 1: played Shirley McClain's husband and Steel Magnolia's in nine nine,

410
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,720
Speaker 1: and he was also in nineteen nineties Mr Destiny in

411
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,439
Speaker 1: nine Family Business. He also had a role in the

412
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,760
Speaker 1: Tales from the Dark Side episode A Case of the Stubborns,

413
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: which also featured Christian Slater and Brent Spiner. M h

414
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 1: oh and this is crazy. According to his New York

415
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 1: Times oh bit, he served in the U. S. Army

416
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,720
Speaker 1: during World War Two and received the Purple Heart. Oh

417
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,920
Speaker 1: that's dropos seems more like a lover than a fighter.

418
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:44,679
Speaker 1: But I guess this was in his later years. Yeah, alright, um,

419
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,919
Speaker 1: Now moving on to Lady Momar, who you mentioned as

420
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,199
Speaker 1: the mom of the household. The Stylish Lady of Mars

421
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:54,199
Speaker 1: played by Lilia Martin born ninety two. She is a

422
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:58,240
Speaker 1: Broadway actor who is I believe still active. Back in

423
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 1: the nineteen fifties, she had roles in shows like Guys

424
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,680
Speaker 1: and Dolls and West Side Story. In the sixties, she

425
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:07,119
Speaker 1: was in Gypsy at some point in the Phantom of

426
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 1: the Operas thirty five years on Broadway. If for anyone

427
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 1: out there isn't aware like it's it's been running on

428
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,400
Speaker 1: Broadway in New York for for ages and is just

429
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,359
Speaker 1: now like closing up shop. And I think they've had

430
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 1: to extend their dates because of that, because everyone's like, whoa,

431
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 1: you can't take Phantom away from us on Broadway, and

432
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,480
Speaker 1: so everybody's going back in to see you one last time.

433
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 1: I have to say I'm again not a big musical guy,

434
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 1: but I've always liked Phantom of the Opera. I'm a

435
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:34,119
Speaker 1: little foggy on the details here, but she played the

436
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,639
Speaker 1: role of Madam Geary in that though I don't know

437
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,679
Speaker 1: for how long, but apparently she was active enough that

438
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,159
Speaker 1: she was present for a two thousand eighteen red carpet

439
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,439
Speaker 1: event for the thirtieth anniversary of the show. She has

440
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,119
Speaker 1: a few TV credits as well, and her film credits

441
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,880
Speaker 1: include Who Killed Mary? What's her Name? With Red Buttons?

442
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:57,399
Speaker 1: And Sam Waterson and her final film credit was seventy

443
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 1: six is God Told Me to The Fallslessly Weird? Larry

444
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 1: Cohen film that starred Tony Lobianca, Sandy Dennis, and Richard Lynch.

445
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 1: He played Nurse Jackson in that. Wow, and That's kind

446
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 1: of a Christmas movie. And I don't recall it. I

447
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 1: recall a St. Patrick's Day. It does have a kind

448
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 1: of glowing uh, Like Richard Lynch is a glowing space

449
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:24,879
Speaker 1: Jesus who tells people to do crimes exactly. Yeah, but

450
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: he does glow. He's very angelic. Oh, we have Santa

451
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 1: Claus in this, but we also have Mrs Claus played

452
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:33,639
Speaker 1: by Doris Rich who of nineteen oh one through nine eighty.

453
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 1: I've seen this credited as the first cinematic portrayal of

454
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 1: Mrs Claus. I think again, primarily Broadway actor or i

455
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 1: b dB credit stretch from through ninete alright, another actor

456
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 1: of note again, another Broadway actor, Carl Don plays two

457
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:57,440
Speaker 1: different roles in this film. He plays Chochum, the the

458
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:01,440
Speaker 1: wise hermit of Mars, and he all so plays Professor

459
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 1: von Green, which is a comedic Verner von Braun parody

460
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,920
Speaker 1: shows up at one point in the film. I think

461
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:11,920
Speaker 1: they call him Verner von Green. I heard Verner von

462
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 1: Breen m hmm. It could have been yeah, it Breen Green.

463
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:21,400
Speaker 1: Either way, it's very obvious bit of parody here. Uh.

464
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 1: This is a guy who was active on Broadway from

465
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 1: the nineteen forties through the nineteen nineties. His film credits

466
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 1: include Stardust, Memories, and Ransom, mostly small parts and some

467
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 1: TV work. There are a couple of Stooges that Voldar

468
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:38,159
Speaker 1: has working for him, and they're both terrific, but the

469
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 1: more recognizable of the two is Schim, played by Joseph Elick,

470
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 1: who lived one through two thousand and nineteen. Very recognizable

471
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 1: character actor, has a very recognizable face. His biggest role

472
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 1: on screen is probably that of playing um Boncini in

473
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 1: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Once is over the

474
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,119
Speaker 1: Cuckoo's Nest, of course frequently pops up. We're talking about

475
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:05,640
Speaker 1: connections in these movies because that is like a magnet

476
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 1: for um you know, weird character actors of the day.

477
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,639
Speaker 1: This guy also did some TV where can. He had

478
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 1: roles in other films such as The Producers, The World's

479
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 1: Greatest Lover, and Black Rain, the Ridley Scott movie that

480
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 1: featured his final performance on screen, in which he played

481
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 1: a bar tender. I'm just trying to remember which of

482
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:29,919
Speaker 1: Voldar's henchman he is here. Is he the smaller one

483
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,400
Speaker 1: or the bigger one? Is he the one that gets

484
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 1: a clown nose put on his face? He's the bigger

485
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 1: one that has a monologue about slinkys and how wonderful

486
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 1: they are. Yes, I was wondering if that was paid

487
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 1: product placement, but he does look directly into the camera

488
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 1: and talk about how I don't know, maybe Christmas isn't

489
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 1: so bad because the Slinky is the most wonderful toy

490
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: ever made. Uh. Yeah, he's He's the bigger the two

491
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:58,440
Speaker 1: with the slinky, the other stooge. I'm not sure who

492
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: he was exactly, and maybe he didn't have as big

493
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 1: of a footprint and film or or Broadway. But he

494
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 1: is also terrific because I have never seen someone twitch

495
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 1: and choose scenery so much. In the background, There'll be

496
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 1: a scene where two other characters are talking and he's

497
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 1: just always just twitching up a storm. Every muscle in

498
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 1: his face is moving. It is a spectacle to behold.

499
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,320
Speaker 1: He looks like he bit his tongue off while filming

500
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:27,680
Speaker 1: this role anyway. But but Joseph Alick did a lot

501
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 1: of other work. He was even in two episodes of

502
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 1: the original Twilight Zone, The Obsolete Man and One More

503
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 1: Paul Bear. Oh but there are kids in this movie.

504
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 1: It is a kid's movie. Most of these kids, uh

505
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 1: didn't really appear in much else or anything else. Um

506
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:45,400
Speaker 1: Victor Styles plays Billy Foster, a human child. Donna Confort

507
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 1: he plays Betty Foster, a human child. Chris Month plays Beaumar,

508
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 1: a Martian child. Um. I think Month was in a

509
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 1: couple of other very brief things like had Sullivan Show

510
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,720
Speaker 1: and so forth. But for the most part, these kids

511
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 1: pop up in this this show and you we find

512
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 1: him elsewhere. But famously, the Martian child Gurmer is played

513
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 1: by Pia Zadora Bord nineteen fifty four. As an adult,

514
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 1: Zadora is known for her performances in such films as

515
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 1: nineteen eight three is The Lonely Lady Fours Voyage of

516
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 1: the Rock Aliens, which looks pretty fascinating, uh Ones, Butterfly

517
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 1: and John Waters hair Spray from She also apparently had

518
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 1: a musical career as well. Voyage of the Rock Aliens

519
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 1: has a gnarly poster yeah. And finally, on the musical note,

520
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 1: Milton Deluge did the Music and Live nineteen eighteen through fifteen,

521
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,959
Speaker 1: composer and musical consultant who mostly worked in TV and

522
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 1: TV specials. It looks like he had a long running

523
00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 1: musical consultant role for the Macy's Thanksgiving to a Parade.

524
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 1: Oh okay, somehow I can see the main song here,

525
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 1: the Santa Claus Conquers the Martians theme song with the

526
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,240
Speaker 1: spelling of the name and everything being a parade song,

527
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 1: it does have a yeah, kind of a marching feel

528
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,360
Speaker 1: to it. Yeah, yeah, and maybe that's our Q to

529
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 1: jump into the plot breakdown, because of course the movie

530
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 1: does begin and end with that song the horns uh,

531
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 1: the children's choirs singing, uh, the s A N T

532
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 1: A C L A U S hooray for Santi Clause.

533
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 1: We get all the lyrics about jumping Jiminy he can

534
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 1: climb down any chimney and so forth, and that segues

535
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 1: into a news report that kind of strange way to

536
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 1: begin the film, but we see a news anchor uh

537
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 1: talking about how kid TV, So I guess this is

538
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 1: a kid focused news channel has installed a TV crew

539
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:55,239
Speaker 1: at Santa's workshop and they're gonna interview Santa Claus. They

540
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 1: got the scoop on on Santi Clause. And then we

541
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 1: pull back to see who's watching the TV. And of

542
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 1: course you're expecting, I don't know, some Earth children, but no,

543
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 1: it is green Martian children. And not only are they green,

544
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,959
Speaker 1: they're wearing green turtlenecks, they have green helmets, and they

545
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 1: have green antennae. Yeah, this is the same basic costume

546
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 1: design we'll see with all of the adult Martians as well,

547
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 1: and it's always intrigued me because it's it's definitely a

548
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 1: singular vision. But are the people of Mars just wearing

549
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 1: high tech suits? Are are these like space suits or

550
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 1: are they cybernetic? Are we to interpret things like their

551
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 1: their their antenna array as being part of their body

552
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:37,760
Speaker 1: or part of their technology. This is a good question,

553
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 1: and it's not really clarified by the movie much because,

554
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 1: for example, there's the scene where the children first meet

555
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 1: the Martians and they see the antennae and they say,

556
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 1: are you a television set? Uh? And uh. Of course

557
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 1: the Martians are not impressed by this question, but it

558
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 1: implies that the antennae are part of the Martian even

559
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 1: though they are clearly like made of metal and jutting

560
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 1: out of the martians helmets. So it's almost that suggests

561
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 1: that the helmet is like part of the Martian anatomy.

562
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 1: But then again, it's clearly a helmet, like it doesn't

563
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 1: look like it's fused to their flesh in any way. Anyway,

564
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 1: coming back to the kid TV broadcast, we go to

565
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 1: the to the anchor on the ground there who's standing

566
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 1: outside covered in frost. He's He's like, we're here at

567
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 1: the North Pole. It's very cold here, I'm gonna go

568
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,719
Speaker 1: inside Santa's workshop and talk to Santa. So he goes in.

569
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 1: We see elves working on toys. Uh. He approaches Santa

570
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 1: Claus and they greet each other. The Santa Claus looks

571
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 1: directly into the camera and talks about how he's excited

572
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 1: for Christmas. And it's hard to describe how strange the

573
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 1: vibes are in in this scene. Yeah, I mean it

574
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 1: would be weird enough. I guess if you just had

575
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 1: you're just the just the basic idea of a TV

576
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 1: journalist coming in and chatting with Santa on the job. Um.

577
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 1: One question I had, like, is this an exclusive that

578
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 1: they've grabbed here? It's just like a constant flow of

579
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 1: different international press representatives coming in. I wanted to get

580
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 1: there five minutes with Santa Claus, get some footage of

581
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 1: of the toys being assembled. Well, the newscaster has all

582
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 1: kinds of ridiculous questions for Santa, such as is Santa

583
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 1: going to be traveling by rockheads of this year? And

584
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,799
Speaker 1: Santa says, no balderdash, He's gonna do it the old

585
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,640
Speaker 1: fashioned way with the sleigh and the reindeer, and he

586
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 1: starts manically reciting their names and getting them some some

587
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 1: of them wrong, Like he's on on Dunner and Blixon

588
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:37,840
Speaker 1: and Vixen and Nixon. But then he sort of catches himself,

589
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 1: but he points right at the camera. He goes, But

590
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 1: the kids know their names, and it has exactly the

591
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 1: energy of a wrestling promo. It's like Scott Steiner talking

592
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:51,719
Speaker 1: to the camera. Oh yeah, it absolutely does. I'm not

593
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,879
Speaker 1: sure that this style of pro wrestling promo existed yet

594
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:58,560
Speaker 1: in the early to mid sixties, but it really feels

595
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 1: like Santa is adding a nineties wrestling promo here, complete

596
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 1: with gesturing to the camera, acknowledging the power of the

597
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 1: intended audience or the fans, the kids in this case,

598
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:12,719
Speaker 1: and so forth. It's it's amazing. We almost get a

599
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 1: Rick Flair wou in there. Yeah, and then Mrs Claus

600
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 1: wanders on. She sort of flirts with the reporter and

601
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,960
Speaker 1: then belatedly realizes she's on TV and she's a very

602
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 1: Mrs Claus has played as very annoyingly overtalkative and is

603
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 1: Santa even jokes about this later when she gets uh

604
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:33,879
Speaker 1: frozen with a Martian freeze gun and he's like, I've

605
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 1: never heard her this quiet before Yeah, he's being abducted

606
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,360
Speaker 1: by Martians. Later on, and his wife has frozen, but

607
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,520
Speaker 1: he takes just a quick moment to mock her for

608
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:45,439
Speaker 1: not being able to talk. Yeah, yeah, Oh, the miss

609
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:49,560
Speaker 1: is always chattering away. But so Santa and the reporter

610
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,800
Speaker 1: go to check in with the elves who are working

611
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:55,719
Speaker 1: on toys, and they're making toy trains and everything. One

612
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,800
Speaker 1: is making a toy rocket that runs on real rocket fuel.

613
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,280
Speaker 1: That's what they say. I think he says real rocket fuell.

614
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,800
Speaker 1: But then also they pick up another toy from the table,

615
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,759
Speaker 1: which is a green little doll, and they're like, why

616
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 1: what is this? Yeah, and we're told that that Winky

617
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 1: has invented it, that it's his idea of a Martian.

618
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:20,880
Speaker 1: So do we introduce an idea here that is touched

619
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: on a couple of times in the movie. And I

620
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:26,879
Speaker 1: really went wild thinking about this time. Winky clearly has

621
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: the gift of prophecy. He can divine the future through

622
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 1: his toy creations. I assume that, like maybe his dreams

623
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,800
Speaker 1: are just the pure act of creation. He is able

624
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 1: to realize the form of the beings from another world

625
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:44,760
Speaker 1: that are about to arrive on Earth and throw everything

626
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:50,400
Speaker 1: into chaos. Yes, Winky has the gift. Anyway, enough of Earth,

627
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 1: we should cut now to Mars to meet our Martian

628
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:56,960
Speaker 1: characters and get some flavor of Martian life. So we

629
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:59,319
Speaker 1: we jump into the house of what appears to be

630
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 1: the Royal Emily of Mars. Again. This is Keemar, you know,

631
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 1: the King Martian. Uh, he's the very serious and stern daddy.

632
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 1: There is Momar the mom Martian, Germar the girl Martian,

633
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 1: and Beaumar the boy Martian. Do Germar and Boumar have

634
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 1: any individual characteristics, not really that I could detect, But

635
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 1: you know who does have a personality? Drop O, who

636
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,840
Speaker 1: also lives in this house because I think he is

637
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: Keemar's like personal man servant or butler or something. He

638
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:34,200
Speaker 1: lives in the house and he's just the silly bozo

639
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 1: who whose main activities are falling asleep when he's not

640
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 1: supposed to and dancing around and acting goofy while surrounded

641
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:46,759
Speaker 1: by deadly serious green Martians. Yeah, Dropo is just a

642
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 1: real treat. And one of these early scenes where he

643
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:52,719
Speaker 1: encountering what's he doing, He's sleeping on the job, right,

644
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 1: He's like sleeping under the coffee table. There's all this

645
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 1: mod furniture everywhere, very much the same spirit as the Jetsons.

646
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:03,440
Speaker 1: For some reason, this movie says, yes, mod furniture that

647
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:07,879
Speaker 1: is what indicates Aliens and the future. It looks pretty good.

648
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 1: I mean I certainly the version I watched this was

649
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 1: not remastered or anything, but a lot of effort went

650
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 1: into these sets anyway. So Chemar finds drop O sleeping,

651
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:21,239
Speaker 1: and how does he wake him up? Well, he wakes

652
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 1: him up with the tickle ray. It is a baton

653
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 1: that tickles instantly at a distance, and Dropo begs him

654
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 1: to stop, but also clearly seems like he's kind of

655
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 1: into it, like he likes the tickle ray. The mere

656
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 1: fact that this invention exists on Mars seems to back

657
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 1: up vold oars we used to be a planet of

658
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:46,360
Speaker 1: war criticism. Yeah, yeah, Like, shouldn't this be a like

659
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,839
Speaker 1: a stun gun or something if the Martians are really

660
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:51,839
Speaker 1: as evil and warlike as they claim. Yeah, now now

661
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 1: they're just tickle guns. We used to have stunned guns. Uh. So,

662
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:59,240
Speaker 1: Keimar says drop O, you're the laziest man on Mars.

663
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 1: Why are you always sleeping during working hours? And Droppo

664
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,920
Speaker 1: makes a bunch of excuses. He says he forgot how

665
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 1: to sleep, so he was just practicing. Kimar wants to

666
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:11,719
Speaker 1: know where lady Momar is, and Droppo says, she went

667
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,440
Speaker 1: to the food pills center to get some food pills.

668
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:18,000
Speaker 1: Here we set up what will be a repeated object

669
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:20,760
Speaker 1: of comedy in the movie. The Martians don't eat food,

670
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:24,719
Speaker 1: They eat food pills. So Santa when observing this, like,

671
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 1: somebody offers him some chocolate ice cream pills and he says, well,

672
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 1: if you've got a headache, do you eat regular chocolate

673
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 1: ice cream? Uh? And this is tremendously funny, I guess.

674
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 1: But there are a bunch of Martian inventions that occur

675
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:42,239
Speaker 1: throughout the movie. Yeah, there's the sleep spray, which you

676
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 1: use on the children to make them sleep. I guess

677
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 1: this is kind of a parent's dream. Yeah. Yeah. Oh.

678
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:50,920
Speaker 1: And also one of the things that I think we

679
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,719
Speaker 1: touched this already, like the children of Mars, you know,

680
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,720
Speaker 1: they don't have fun that they just basically sit around

681
00:39:56,840 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 1: and they become adults really quickly. They learned some sort

682
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:04,799
Speaker 1: of tele learning device um that like it's described as

683
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 1: putting the knowledge directly into their brains. Kind of like,

684
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:10,439
Speaker 1: you know, downloading the information into their brains. But when

685
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:13,080
Speaker 1: we see this in action, it looks a heck of

686
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:15,960
Speaker 1: a lot like they're just listening to podcasts. It looks like,

687
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 1: uh like if like a scene I might find if

688
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 1: I walk in and my son who's laying on his

689
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:24,280
Speaker 1: bad listening to a podcast. Yeah, it's just audio talking

690
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 1: at them, and sometimes they talk back to it, I guess.

691
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 1: But these are the information machines that they used to

692
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,600
Speaker 1: educate their children. But here we learn of what you've

693
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,399
Speaker 1: just alluded to the inciting situation of the film, which

694
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 1: is that the children of Kimar are not eating or

695
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,480
Speaker 1: sleeping lately. They have no appetite, they don't want to

696
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:42,759
Speaker 1: go to bed. You have to sleep spray them in

697
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 1: order to get them to lie down. Uh. And it's

698
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:48,800
Speaker 1: because they sit in front of that television set watching

699
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 1: those ridiculous programs broadcast from Earth all day. Now, this

700
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 1: made me wonder, what do they watch when they're not

701
00:40:56,080 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 1: watching Santa being interviewed on sixty minutes? Just anything? I'd yes,

702
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,880
Speaker 1: But I think this is exactly what children of my

703
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:05,360
Speaker 1: generation were like. And I assume this is what children

704
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 1: watching television were like. In the nineteen sixties as well.

705
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:11,040
Speaker 1: If it was on, you watched it until there was

706
00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 1: just the test pattern after the TV station went off

707
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,560
Speaker 1: the air. You know, very very much a matter of

708
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 1: a teacher mother's secret lover. Oh it's Saturday afternoon. Is

709
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 1: this River of Death starring Michael doodakof on T N T.

710
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 1: I guess that's what I'm watching. Yeah, it's on, you're

711
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:30,120
Speaker 1: watching it. But the children actors, they do a good

712
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 1: job of wearing absolutely blank, almost catatonic expressions while watching

713
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 1: this horrible Earth TV. Yeah, and I've seen children with

714
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:41,440
Speaker 1: these exact expressions watching television. So this is dead on

715
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,839
Speaker 1: right here. Uh So they're watching Santa Claus talking about

716
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,520
Speaker 1: the toys he's making, and the kids are talking to

717
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 1: each other while Chemar is watching from behind. Uh. Germar says, Bomar,

718
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:56,240
Speaker 1: what is the doll? And Beaumar says, I don't know, Germer.

719
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 1: So Momar comes home and she and Chema discussed the problem.

720
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:05,120
Speaker 1: Across the entire planet. Children are behaving strangely. They don't

721
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:06,839
Speaker 1: want to eat, they don't want to sleep. All they

722
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 1: want is to watch Santa on TV and talk about Earth, toys, dolls, bats, everything.

723
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:15,480
Speaker 1: Like that something is wrong with them, and Momar has

724
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 1: a suggestion. Keimar has to figure out what's wrong, and

725
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:21,000
Speaker 1: to do that he must go to the forest and

726
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 1: consult the wisdom of Chochen, the ancient one Great. So

727
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 1: Chimar pokes his belt buckle and uses that as kind

728
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 1: of a belt buckle cell phone to call all of

729
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 1: the chiefs of the Mars Council, which I believe are Hargo, Rigna, Lomas,

730
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 1: and finally Volder. Voldar takes a minute to answer the

731
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:48,280
Speaker 1: belt phone, and I think that's foreshadowing for his character.

732
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:51,200
Speaker 1: And so Chimar says, meet me in the forest. We're

733
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 1: gonna consult Chochum choke Um rocks. We're gonna get to

734
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 1: him in a second, but first we have to learn

735
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 1: a bit about the politics of the Mars Council. The

736
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:01,720
Speaker 1: other chiefs they're just kind of sheep. They go along

737
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 1: with whatever Chemar says. But before chemar arrives, Voldar is there,

738
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 1: and he's obviously the bully boy of the group. He's

739
00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 1: got this deep voice, the thick black mustache, the muscular

740
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:16,319
Speaker 1: physique under the green tights, and he instantly starts undermining

741
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 1: Chemar to all the other chiefs. He's you know, why

742
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 1: do we have to listen to him? And why do

743
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 1: we have to consult this doddering old man they're referring

744
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:27,359
Speaker 1: to Chochim. Now they go to the forest. And of course,

745
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:31,800
Speaker 1: when you think about fantastically realized alien forest ecosystems in cinema,

746
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:34,719
Speaker 1: and clearly you think of Avatar, but then you also

747
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:37,440
Speaker 1: think of Santa Claus conquers the March. Just such a

748
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:40,920
Speaker 1: vivid living system they've they've created here. It's kind of

749
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:44,959
Speaker 1: some some fake tree trunks with with like Halloween fake

750
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 1: cobwebs thrown over them. Yeah, a little bit of a

751
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,239
Speaker 1: little bit of fog back there for sure. Now, when

752
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:54,839
Speaker 1: Voldar is undermining Chochim, one of the other chiefs says,

753
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:57,280
Speaker 1: choke him is eight hundred years old. We can't reject

754
00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 1: the wisdom of centuries, and Voldar says, I can. So

755
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:05,400
Speaker 1: Keimar arrives. They summoned choke Him from the ether. They

756
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:07,480
Speaker 1: like call out, choke Um, where are you? And he

757
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 1: sort of pops into corpore reality out of a column

758
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 1: of smoke. Uh. And I want this frame where we

759
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 1: first see choke Him sitting there on his throne in

760
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 1: the Mars Forest. I want that as the cover of

761
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:25,400
Speaker 1: my upcoming doom metal album. It's so good. Oh yeah,

762
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:29,360
Speaker 1: it's a real cosmic wizard vibe here with his staff

763
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:34,759
Speaker 1: and his beer there Saturn visible in the background. Um yeah,

764
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 1: Chochum is amazing. And I have to highly recommend any

765
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:40,000
Speaker 1: folks out there who have only seen the Mystery Signed

766
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 1: Theater three thousand cut of this film. Um, as fun

767
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 1: as that is, you need to watch another cut of it,

768
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:47,640
Speaker 1: either one of the other riffs, or of course the

769
00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:51,239
Speaker 1: full pristine Santa Claus Conquers the Martians if you want

770
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:54,880
Speaker 1: the extended full choch A monologue that we're about to

771
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:59,000
Speaker 1: describe here. So Chochum, here's them describe the problem. You know,

772
00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,719
Speaker 1: the kids aren't doing what they're supposed to and so

773
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:04,879
Speaker 1: he he realizes, wait a minute, So they're watching Earth's TV.

774
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:08,719
Speaker 1: He says. It's early December on the planet Earth, the

775
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,759
Speaker 1: time of Christmas. He says, it is an occasion of

776
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 1: joy and peace on the planet Earth, the whole planet. Okay,

777
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 1: that's what he says. Uh. And for children it is

778
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 1: also a time of anticipation as they await the arrival

779
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 1: of Santa Claus. They await the arrival of Santa Claus.

780
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 1: That's kind of the voice he has the whole time.

781
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 1: It's so yes, it is uh oh. And one point

782
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,399
Speaker 1: he asks what month is it, I think, and they say, well,

783
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:39,640
Speaker 1: it is Septober. He says, no, not Mars. Months on Earth?

784
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:44,560
Speaker 1: Is that before? Smart? I can't remember. So the problem

785
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:47,200
Speaker 1: choke him explains, is that the children of Mars, they

786
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 1: never get to have a childhood. They don't play, they

787
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 1: never have fun. They're just hooked up to these information

788
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,799
Speaker 1: machines from the time they're born, and by the time

789
00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 1: they can walk, they're already boring adults who are dead inside.

790
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:01,040
Speaker 1: And now they are rebelling against us. And the only

791
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 1: way to fix it we need a Santa Claus on Mars.

792
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:07,759
Speaker 1: Sensible solution. Um. I couldn't help, But wonder does this

793
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:10,799
Speaker 1: somehow reflect actual concerns about children of the early to

794
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:14,320
Speaker 1: mid nineteen sixties. Were they being hooked up to information machine?

795
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:17,080
Speaker 1: But I wonder if there was some concern about like

796
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 1: maybe it was kind of reflective on you know, maybe

797
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 1: for the like the post war generation, or for the

798
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 1: generation that grew up through the Second World War. Maybe

799
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 1: this was like a worry they had, like like maybe

800
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:32,879
Speaker 1: they were they were reflecting and thinking, well, there were

801
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:35,960
Speaker 1: aspects of our childhood we didn't get to have. I

802
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 1: hope that our children get to have more of a

803
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 1: childhood than we had, or something to that effect. Yeah, maybe, uh, yeah,

804
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 1: I wonder. Anyway, Chichen explodes, Uh, he sort of disappears

805
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 1: in a puff of smoke, and then Kimar agrees. He's like, yep,

806
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:54,279
Speaker 1: we're gonna bring Santa Claus to Mars. Now Volder disagrees

807
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:56,319
Speaker 1: he does not want the children of Mars to have

808
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:59,800
Speaker 1: fun because if they start laughing and playing and running underfoot,

809
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 1: they will become a nuisance. But he is overruled and

810
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:05,759
Speaker 1: the Martians will kidnap Santa Claus. So they get in

811
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:09,320
Speaker 1: their spaceship travel to Earth. Uh, and they start scoping

812
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:12,880
Speaker 1: out the planet. Pretty quickly, they find Santa Claus in

813
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:16,160
Speaker 1: front of a department store. But wait a minute, here's

814
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 1: another one on the street corner. There are too many Santas.

815
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:22,000
Speaker 1: This could have been a movie in itself. Yeah, this

816
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 1: is my favorite what if moment of the whole film,

817
00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 1: because I can imagine a scenario where they're like, well,

818
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,960
Speaker 1: look at all these Santas. I guess they're all Santas

819
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:33,440
Speaker 1: and we need to have the right number of Santa's

820
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:36,800
Speaker 1: for cheer. Let's round all of them up. Or perhaps

821
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 1: they think, well, we we've got to round them all

822
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 1: up to be sure, so let's go harvest all of

823
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,360
Speaker 1: earth Santas and then we'll sort out which one is

824
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:46,319
Speaker 1: the true Santa. Or what if they were just kind

825
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:48,400
Speaker 1: of lazy about it and they're like, oh, the first

826
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:50,120
Speaker 1: one will do, let's just get him, and they end

827
00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:53,280
Speaker 1: up just getting a random mall Santa who's then brought

828
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 1: to Mars and is expected to deliver on all of

829
00:47:57,320 --> 00:47:59,799
Speaker 1: this Christmas cheer. I like the getting all of them,

830
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 1: I yea, because then you can imagine like a Martian

831
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 1: prison full of tens of thousands of Santa's and they

832
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 1: have to like storm the prison walls they do a

833
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:12,160
Speaker 1: Martian prison break as an army of Santa's. That would

834
00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:14,759
Speaker 1: be amazing. I mean, all these ideas are great. Like

835
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:18,440
Speaker 1: I know, they've been talks in the past of a

836
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:22,719
Speaker 1: serious revival of this film or remake of this film.

837
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:24,279
Speaker 1: I think I want to say at one point Tim

838
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 1: Burton even expressed an interest in it. And I mean

839
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:30,840
Speaker 1: for the most part, Yeah, you can't recapture this magic.

840
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 1: But I don't know, if you had the right creative

841
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 1: spirit behind it, kind of like a classic Tim Burton

842
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 1: spirit to it, you might be able to do something.

843
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:40,279
Speaker 1: And maybe you could draw it out a little bit

844
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:44,640
Speaker 1: by exploring some of these other possible scenarios. So instead,

845
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 1: the Martians say, we gotta figure out which is the

846
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 1: real Santa? What do we need to do? Probably kidnaps

847
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 1: some earth children and force them to reveal Santa's true location.

848
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:56,800
Speaker 1: But why would they assume they would know? I don't know. Anyway,

849
00:48:56,840 --> 00:49:00,000
Speaker 1: Here we meet Billy and Betty, who are our Earth's children,

850
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:01,800
Speaker 1: and for the movie, I don't know where they're supposed

851
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:03,279
Speaker 1: to be. At the beginning, it looks like a kind

852
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 1: of barren landscape. They're like leaning against a dead tree

853
00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:09,279
Speaker 1: talking about whether or not they believe in Martians. Uh.

854
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 1: And then the Martians just come up on them and

855
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:14,480
Speaker 1: they say like, hey, what's up. Uh. And one of

856
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:16,759
Speaker 1: the kids asked, Hey, what are those funny things on

857
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 1: your heads? And Keimar says, those are our antenna and

858
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:22,719
Speaker 1: they ask, are you a television set? This is what

859
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,719
Speaker 1: we alluded to earlier Voldar is not impressed with this.

860
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:28,279
Speaker 1: He says, Chimar, is this what you want to do

861
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:31,080
Speaker 1: to our children on Mars? Turned them into dopes like

862
00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:33,600
Speaker 1: these Earth children. I want to point out that in

863
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:36,719
Speaker 1: this scene and in subsequent scenes, um, you have a

864
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:39,839
Speaker 1: Martian in this case, is Voldar with this freeze gun

865
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:43,439
Speaker 1: that freezes people? This is actually just a I believe

866
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:46,360
Speaker 1: there's a Whamo brand air blaster from the day you

867
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 1: can you can do searches for these and fine, and

868
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:50,720
Speaker 1: the mass produced these, so they're I think they're readily

869
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:53,919
Speaker 1: available as like kind of collector's items at the time.

870
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,560
Speaker 1: But yeah, these were just common little toys that like

871
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:59,440
Speaker 1: blasted a little puffing air. Oh that's nice. So these

872
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:01,920
Speaker 1: are no toy I wonder if that was on purpose

873
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:03,640
Speaker 1: so the kids would be like, hey, I saw that

874
00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:06,040
Speaker 1: in Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. I want to buy one.

875
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:08,560
Speaker 1: Or it just looked cool and we'll use it. I mean,

876
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:11,560
Speaker 1: I'm reminded of was it Robot Jocks that we watched

877
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:14,000
Speaker 1: where there's some sort of a gun and in some

878
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:16,359
Speaker 1: scenes in the close up it's clearly a really cool

879
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 1: looking side by prop gun, but in some there are

880
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:23,720
Speaker 1: other shots where it's clear they're using a glue gun. Yeah.

881
00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:27,560
Speaker 1: Um oh, and so they they the children get kidnapped.

882
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:30,239
Speaker 1: Uh you know, they say, tell us where Santa is,

883
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:34,080
Speaker 1: and the children immediately betray Santa and reveal the location

884
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:36,040
Speaker 1: of his secret base. They say it's the North Pole,

885
00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:38,440
Speaker 1: and so on the way to the North Pole, we

886
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:40,880
Speaker 1: were treated to more stock footage. In the meantime, we

887
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:44,439
Speaker 1: see an airplane refueling in mid air. I think this

888
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:48,360
Speaker 1: particular bit of stock footage it or something almost exactly

889
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 1: like it was used in another mystery science theater movie

890
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:54,239
Speaker 1: I recall about Air Force or something, and they were

891
00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:58,160
Speaker 1: just long scenes of refueling in mid air that Cuba

892
00:50:58,239 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 1: or one of those. Maybe, Yeah, if they found this

893
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:03,560
Speaker 1: fascinating at the time, I guess. I mean, it is fascinating.

894
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:06,840
Speaker 1: Air to air refueling is amazing, and we could easily

895
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 1: do a stuff to blow your mind episode on it,

896
00:51:08,719 --> 00:51:10,880
Speaker 1: like it's it's a crazy concept we take for granted.

897
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:13,279
Speaker 1: But uh yeah, there there are whole stretches of this

898
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,799
Speaker 1: film that just feel like the Strategic Air Command stock

899
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 1: footage dump. Yeah. We we also see lots of missile

900
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:22,680
Speaker 1: silos opening up and and rockets being like taken around

901
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:26,520
Speaker 1: on rails and things. Uh oh. Also along the way

902
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:29,240
Speaker 1: drop O, who was caught stowing away on the ship,

903
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:32,800
Speaker 1: he fell asleep inside the radar console. He is tasked

904
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 1: with watching the children, but naturally Dropos. You know he's

905
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:38,879
Speaker 1: a good guy. He just lets them out of their cell,

906
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:43,279
Speaker 1: shows them around, allows them to sabotage the ship's radar jammer.

907
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:46,239
Speaker 1: Uh and uh we were we were joking that the

908
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:49,920
Speaker 1: kids are trying to commit suicide by space force and

909
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 1: uh soo, yeah, he just lets them out. Major design

910
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 1: fail for making the radar console so comfy for naps.

911
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:59,760
Speaker 1: It's just the right size for a full grown adult

912
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 1: climb in there and curl up. And I guess it's

913
00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:04,759
Speaker 1: probably warm and cozy in there too. I'm sure it is.

914
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:07,440
Speaker 1: So they arrive at the North Pole, the children escape

915
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:09,879
Speaker 1: to try to warn Santa that the Martians are coming

916
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:12,720
Speaker 1: for them, and we get a great North Pole set. Again,

917
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:15,879
Speaker 1: this is the question of is this the same as

918
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:21,080
Speaker 1: the Martian surface set, but just with snow on it? Possibly? Yeah,

919
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 1: the spaceship has landed and so we have that the

920
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:27,000
Speaker 1: wonderful lander legs and a ladder coming down from what

921
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:29,319
Speaker 1: it's supposed to be the Bible of the spaceship, so

922
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:31,719
Speaker 1: it's it's not planted of the vampires, but what is?

923
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,560
Speaker 1: It still has a lot of charm. The Martians say

924
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:37,760
Speaker 1: they are going to use tour Get to capture Santa.

925
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:39,799
Speaker 1: We have not seen tour yet, so we don't know

926
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:43,520
Speaker 1: what it is. But uh, that's a it's it makes

927
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:45,319
Speaker 1: the hair stand up on the back of your neck

928
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 1: to hear what what is torg I have to know? Well,

929
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:52,000
Speaker 1: one thing I observed is that Torg is gort spelled backwards.

930
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:55,760
Speaker 1: That might not be an accident. This reminds me of

931
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:59,200
Speaker 1: a line from from John Saxon's character and What was

932
00:52:59,239 --> 00:53:02,680
Speaker 1: It a Battle Beyond the Stars where he says I

933
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:04,719
Speaker 1: had to look it up because it was like Gort.

934
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:07,319
Speaker 1: Maybe he said gort or or the reverse. But you know,

935
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 1: he says Dacco is expert at inflicting pain. It made

936
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:15,279
Speaker 1: me think Torgue is expert at inflicting pain. Uh, well,

937
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:18,839
Speaker 1: I think Torque is. Though Torque is not. It's not invulnerable,

938
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:22,919
Speaker 1: and some types of magic may in fact stop his

939
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:26,000
Speaker 1: his murderous nature. But so the children escaped, the Martians

940
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,360
Speaker 1: go hunting after them. Of course, Voldar just wants to

941
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:31,480
Speaker 1: kill the children. The children see him and they say

942
00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:34,279
Speaker 1: he doesn't like us, but he is literally trying to

943
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:37,640
Speaker 1: murder them. Uh. They hide in a cave from a

944
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:42,960
Speaker 1: polar bear, which has a actually horrifying costume design. This

945
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:45,840
Speaker 1: polar bear looks like a mask somebody would wear in

946
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:49,600
Speaker 1: the purge. It is evil. It reminds me a lot

947
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:54,520
Speaker 1: of Toombach from the Terror from the TV miniseries adaptation,

948
00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 1: so we were not meant to know of it. And

949
00:53:58,080 --> 00:53:59,840
Speaker 1: then out of the frying pan into the fire, the

950
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 1: air goes away. They come out of the cave, but

951
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:06,440
Speaker 1: here comes Torg. They initially mistake Tord for Santa's workshop,

952
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:10,240
Speaker 1: but no. Torque is a giant robot with glowing eyes

953
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:14,319
Speaker 1: that grabs the children. And then of course Voldar gets

954
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:17,760
Speaker 1: to Torgu before Keybar does, and Voldar is like, nice work, Torg,

955
00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:22,439
Speaker 1: Now destroy them. I get this children's movie. Like He's

956
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:26,680
Speaker 1: literally commanding the robot to kill the children. But Torg

957
00:54:26,800 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 1: does not obey because Keimar specifically programmed him to obey

958
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 1: only my commands. Very smart. But so they make it

959
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 1: over to Santa's workshop and they look inside and they

960
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:41,919
Speaker 1: see the toys and the games. Voldar, of course hates

961
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:45,359
Speaker 1: all this. Again he's saying, children games laughing. This is

962
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:49,319
Speaker 1: this humiliating. Mars was once a planet of war, which

963
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:52,400
Speaker 1: makes me think it would almost would be great to

964
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 1: set part of this podcast to the Gustav Holst Planet

965
00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:59,840
Speaker 1: Sweet the Mars theme, which if you never heard it, it

966
00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:02,440
Speaker 1: it really does sound like war is coming. It's it's

967
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:08,680
Speaker 1: very much Voldars theme you saw. You know, if Voldar

968
00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:11,520
Speaker 1: was really like he's already shown his his true colors.

969
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:14,600
Speaker 1: He mainly doesn't want the kids playing because they would

970
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:17,120
Speaker 1: be annoying and would be underfoot. If he was really

971
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:21,080
Speaker 1: concerned about the warrior ethos of the planet Mars, he

972
00:55:21,120 --> 00:55:24,040
Speaker 1: would at least meet him halfway on like war toys,

973
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:27,840
Speaker 1: like let's just only tanks and and toy guns. Uh. No,

974
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:30,000
Speaker 1: I think he's just saying, like the children should only

975
00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:32,520
Speaker 1: learn war from the beginning, so not even playing war.

976
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:34,520
Speaker 1: They should just go to war. You know, he's like

977
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:48,680
Speaker 1: one of these guys who's obsessed with the movie three hundred. Okay,

978
00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 1: they get to Santa's workshop, they send Tor again there,

979
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:55,040
Speaker 1: get him torg. Uh. I'm not sure exactly what happens

980
00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:58,760
Speaker 1: in this scene. I think Torg was supposed to incapacitate

981
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:02,239
Speaker 1: and remove Santa for of the premises, but instead Torque

982
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:05,600
Speaker 1: is like rendered harmless by the magic of Santa Claus.

983
00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 1: He comes in and Santa's like, oh, you're a big toy,

984
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:12,719
Speaker 1: and then Torque just doesn't do anything else. Yeah, I mean,

985
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:16,319
Speaker 1: Santa is an arcane artifice there here. He's he's a

986
00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 1: master of toys, and what are toys but technology? This

987
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:22,680
Speaker 1: is like trying to pull a robot attack on datalists,

988
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:26,200
Speaker 1: you know. I mean, he's just not gonna work. But

989
00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:28,760
Speaker 1: of course the Martians themselves, they still got their freeze

990
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:31,959
Speaker 1: guns and everything, so they come inside and they're gonna

991
00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:34,359
Speaker 1: kidnap Santa. That this is Plan B. They use their

992
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:36,879
Speaker 1: freeze guns on the elves, they use their freeze gun

993
00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:40,080
Speaker 1: on Mrs Claus, and Santa is forced to cooperate. But

994
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:44,000
Speaker 1: as we mentioned earlier, not before making a joke about how,

995
00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:47,319
Speaker 1: my dear, I've never seen you so quiet. Yeah, it's

996
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:50,759
Speaker 1: so weird. It's such a weird choice. Then okay, so

997
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 1: Santa Claus and the children they get back on the spaceship.

998
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:57,360
Speaker 1: They're taken away, stolen away, to Mars. Meanwhile, we see

999
00:56:57,560 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 1: a bunch of newspaper headlines. Somehow the newspapers know what

1000
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:06,600
Speaker 1: has happened, so they're running headlines like Martians kidnaps Santa Claus. Yeah,

1001
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:09,600
Speaker 1: this is like front page. Um, I forget all the

1002
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:12,480
Speaker 1: journalism lingo for um for what do you call a

1003
00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 1: headline of this caliber? But like, this is the this

1004
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:17,400
Speaker 1: is the big stuff, because clearly this is this is

1005
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:21,440
Speaker 1: not only an international issue, this is now an interplanetary issue,

1006
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 1: and it's an extra Yeah, it's like the banner headline.

1007
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:29,800
Speaker 1: And then below that, I was just because I paused

1008
00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:31,680
Speaker 1: the frame here to see what was going on. We

1009
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:35,120
Speaker 1: see the other headlines are panic in New York, Menagerie

1010
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:39,320
Speaker 1: breaks loose, and the other is planarians give new clues

1011
00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:43,439
Speaker 1: to early migrations. I mean, either one of those would

1012
00:57:43,480 --> 00:57:46,240
Speaker 1: have been the lead story had it not been for this,

1013
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:47,920
Speaker 1: So I guess it would have been kind of a

1014
00:57:47,920 --> 00:57:50,680
Speaker 1: slow newsday at the West. So anyway, we're in the spaceship.

1015
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:53,520
Speaker 1: We're going back to Mars. But on the way, the

1016
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:56,280
Speaker 1: magic of Santa Claus kind of spreads even to the

1017
00:57:56,320 --> 00:58:00,240
Speaker 1: adult Martians on board. The other Mars Council chiefs start

1018
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:04,240
Speaker 1: giggling uncontrollably. There's this one Martian with a beard who

1019
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:06,320
Speaker 1: comes up to Keimar and he's like, that little guy

1020
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 1: is so funny. I couldn't stop laughing. And he retells

1021
00:58:09,640 --> 00:58:12,120
Speaker 1: a joke that Santa told him. He says, what's soft

1022
00:58:12,240 --> 00:58:14,400
Speaker 1: and round and you put it on a stick and

1023
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:18,840
Speaker 1: you toasted in a fire and it's green a Martian mellow,

1024
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:24,040
Speaker 1: and Voldar, of course, is he's still mad. He's like,

1025
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:27,360
Speaker 1: that's what he's going to turn us into. Martian mellows,

1026
00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:34,840
Speaker 1: soft round, toasted in a fires. Oh and Dropo especially

1027
00:58:34,840 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 1: seems to love Santa. They're two peas in a pod.

1028
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:41,280
Speaker 1: Dropo was made to be Santa's buddy. But Santa is

1029
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:43,600
Speaker 1: just always doing a comedy routine. We see him in

1030
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:46,520
Speaker 1: his cell, like on the bunk talking to the children

1031
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:49,280
Speaker 1: and he's telling a story about going into a chimney

1032
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:51,440
Speaker 1: that was surrounded by fog and he says, it's the

1033
00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:54,560
Speaker 1: biggest chimney I'd ever been in, And then there's a punchline.

1034
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:57,439
Speaker 1: I realized it wasn't a chimney, it was the smokestack

1035
00:58:57,520 --> 00:59:00,920
Speaker 1: of the Queen Elizabeth. The children do not laugh, and

1036
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:03,000
Speaker 1: he says, well, don't you think that was funny? And

1037
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:08,760
Speaker 1: then they both simultaneously somberly say yes, Santa. But they

1038
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 1: are somber because they feel bad. They feel bad that

1039
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:14,240
Speaker 1: they betrayed Santa and told the Martians were to find him.

1040
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:16,200
Speaker 1: Of course, Santa doesn't want them to worry, you know,

1041
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:19,600
Speaker 1: balder dash. Uh. Now, on the ship, one of the

1042
00:59:19,640 --> 00:59:22,960
Speaker 1: main things that happens is Voldar tries to murder Santa,

1043
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:26,440
Speaker 1: Claus and the children in the airlock, which I literally

1044
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:29,480
Speaker 1: while we were watching, I made a joke about that happening,

1045
00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:31,920
Speaker 1: and then it actually happened in the movie. I did

1046
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:35,120
Speaker 1: not see that coming. Yeah, the build up to this

1047
00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:37,720
Speaker 1: scene is great. The scene itself is wonderful, and then

1048
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:40,800
Speaker 1: of course the payoff, because of course, first you get

1049
00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:46,200
Speaker 1: uber villainous, just oozingly villainous Voldar convincing them to come

1050
00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:49,800
Speaker 1: with him into the airlock, and then once they're locked inside,

1051
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:54,360
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's it's great because I think nowadays, I

1052
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:56,320
Speaker 1: don't know when this became the case, but for I

1053
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:59,080
Speaker 1: think most modern sci fi viewers, you know when an

1054
00:59:59,080 --> 01:00:02,400
Speaker 1: airlock is You don't need to be described to You

1055
01:00:02,480 --> 01:00:05,400
Speaker 1: just need to know that it is one, but this

1056
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:08,440
Speaker 1: film does not take airlocks for granted. In this film,

1057
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 1: they feel the need to have Billy give an extended

1058
01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:14,800
Speaker 1: monologue about the functionality and purpose of an airlock and

1059
01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:18,120
Speaker 1: why does he know? He's just a science art I guess,

1060
01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:22,720
Speaker 1: I guess. So he locks them in the airlock, and

1061
01:00:22,880 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 1: Santa is always giving Voldar the benefit of the doubt.

1062
01:00:25,800 --> 01:00:27,960
Speaker 1: He's like, Oh, I don't think he locked us in.

1063
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:29,960
Speaker 1: He just stepped away for a moment. And then they

1064
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:32,680
Speaker 1: set off the timer. It's like it takes sixty seconds

1065
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:35,800
Speaker 1: before they can avoid the airlock into space. The timer's

1066
01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:37,960
Speaker 1: ticking down. They're like, oh, what's gonna happen? You know,

1067
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:41,280
Speaker 1: we're we're gonna we're gonna be killed until they see

1068
01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:43,760
Speaker 1: a like pipe leading up out of the corner of

1069
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:47,280
Speaker 1: the room. And so we come away to the control

1070
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:50,200
Speaker 1: room of the ship and we see Volder just really

1071
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:52,680
Speaker 1: enjoying the thought of Santa and the children dying in

1072
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:57,360
Speaker 1: the vacuum of space. Kimar discovers that Voldar has killed them,

1073
01:00:57,400 --> 01:00:59,720
Speaker 1: and then there's a fist fight, but it's in a

1074
01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:02,760
Speaker 1: rus did when Santa and the children come in unharmed,

1075
01:01:03,240 --> 01:01:06,400
Speaker 1: and what happened. Well, they explained, they went up the vent.

1076
01:01:06,520 --> 01:01:10,400
Speaker 1: Of course, Voldar is astounded. Santa, you are too fat

1077
01:01:10,480 --> 01:01:13,520
Speaker 1: to fit in that vent. But Voldar doesn't know the

1078
01:01:13,520 --> 01:01:15,920
Speaker 1: magic of Santa Claus. Santa Claus goes down chimneys all

1079
01:01:15,920 --> 01:01:19,080
Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, he thought he'd spaced them, or maybe

1080
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:23,160
Speaker 1: that they exploded like Anthony Zerba and James Bond film.

1081
01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:26,520
Speaker 1: But now yeah, yeah, now they just took him on

1082
01:01:26,600 --> 01:01:30,200
Speaker 1: up the chimney. You cannot outsmart, Santa Claus if you

1083
01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:33,240
Speaker 1: have anything like a ventilation system involved in your technology.

1084
01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:36,120
Speaker 1: And of course this ends with everyone laughing at Voldar

1085
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:39,960
Speaker 1: and Volder is arrested. But Voldar, I think escapes as

1086
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:42,439
Speaker 1: soon as they land on the planet. Yeah, I don't

1087
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:46,240
Speaker 1: think they really have great prison facilities on this spaceship. Now,

1088
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:49,840
Speaker 1: everyone who is imprisoned escapes immediately, so they get to

1089
01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:54,240
Speaker 1: the planet and then Momar meets everybody, so it's like, hey,

1090
01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:58,280
Speaker 1: meet Billy and Betty and Santa Claus. Can Santa healed

1091
01:01:58,280 --> 01:02:01,320
Speaker 1: the children of Mars. Well he's gonna try, right, Uh. So,

1092
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:05,720
Speaker 1: Bomar and Gurma are listening to their science podcasts, looking

1093
01:02:05,800 --> 01:02:08,240
Speaker 1: very blank and miserable, and then Santa comes in to

1094
01:02:08,320 --> 01:02:12,640
Speaker 1: try to heal them with with jollity. And what happens

1095
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:16,080
Speaker 1: is Santa just starts laughing at them like a maniac,

1096
01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:19,720
Speaker 1: without telling a joke, and the Mars children almost by

1097
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:23,960
Speaker 1: sort of like almost like in Terror, just eventually start

1098
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:28,200
Speaker 1: laughing too. And it's infectious because I think you'll find

1099
01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:32,200
Speaker 1: watching this movie, you two will start laughing. Yeah, so

1100
01:02:32,320 --> 01:02:35,040
Speaker 1: everyone in the room laughing at nothing, like like a

1101
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:37,880
Speaker 1: mad scientist and his henchman, you know, cackling over a

1102
01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:40,240
Speaker 1: plan to blow up the movie. Oh and this makes

1103
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 1: Dropo dance. His dance is so good, and that's like

1104
01:02:44,400 --> 01:02:47,560
Speaker 1: it's it's like it's it's this feeling when the holiday

1105
01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:50,800
Speaker 1: spirit just overcomes you so much that you can't help

1106
01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:54,440
Speaker 1: but just shuffle manically. It's it's it's wonderful again. It's

1107
01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:58,960
Speaker 1: if I've never seen this performance. The the only living

1108
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:02,200
Speaker 1: performer I can imagine pulling something like this off would

1109
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:05,360
Speaker 1: be Martin Short. So Santa tells Chemar, He's like, I

1110
01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:07,680
Speaker 1: need to get the workshop up and running here so

1111
01:03:07,720 --> 01:03:09,960
Speaker 1: I can do Christmas on Mars and still have time

1112
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:13,040
Speaker 1: to return to Earth for Christmas. There and this leads

1113
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:16,120
Speaker 1: to one of my favorite um bits from John calls

1114
01:03:16,720 --> 01:03:21,120
Speaker 1: performances Santa Claus, because they tell him, Santa, you're never

1115
01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:24,920
Speaker 1: going to return to Earth quote now you belong to Mars.

1116
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:29,880
Speaker 1: Santa goes, I can't. I can't even I can't. Can't

1117
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:31,960
Speaker 1: do it as well as either. But he's like ho

1118
01:03:31,960 --> 01:03:35,520
Speaker 1: ho ho or something to that effect, like he finds

1119
01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:39,480
Speaker 1: a way to use ho ho ho to to deliver

1120
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:44,600
Speaker 1: the character's thought process here realizing, oh snap, I have

1121
01:03:44,680 --> 01:03:48,800
Speaker 1: to go to Mars forever. Now I belong to Mars.

1122
01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:50,920
Speaker 1: So he sort of goes along with it. Anyway, we

1123
01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:53,120
Speaker 1: find out that Chemar has set Santa up with a

1124
01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:56,200
Speaker 1: sort of automated toy production factory so he can be

1125
01:03:56,320 --> 01:03:59,080
Speaker 1: the Santa Claus of Mars, and it's working all right,

1126
01:03:59,160 --> 01:04:01,800
Speaker 1: Like there are these shoots in the wall that sort

1127
01:04:01,840 --> 01:04:05,040
Speaker 1: of poop out like dolls and baseball bats onto a

1128
01:04:05,040 --> 01:04:07,720
Speaker 1: conveyor belt, and then the earth children have to carry

1129
01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:11,440
Speaker 1: them away in laundry baskets, and Santa kind of laments

1130
01:04:11,520 --> 01:04:13,480
Speaker 1: this state of affairs. He's like, look at me, the

1131
01:04:13,520 --> 01:04:18,960
Speaker 1: world's greatest toymaker reduced to pressing buttons. That's automation for you. Yeah. Yeah.

1132
01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:22,480
Speaker 1: This is kind of a frequent strain and cinematic retellings

1133
01:04:22,480 --> 01:04:27,040
Speaker 1: of Santa Claus, the mass production versus the the hand

1134
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:30,320
Speaker 1: crafted toys that we see in illustrations of Santa's workshop.

1135
01:04:30,720 --> 01:04:33,040
Speaker 1: And I think this is also always a point of

1136
01:04:33,040 --> 01:04:38,200
Speaker 1: of confusion for children under the spell of Santa. It's like, clearly,

1137
01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:40,680
Speaker 1: the things that I want for Christmas are not things

1138
01:04:41,240 --> 01:04:45,760
Speaker 1: made by rustic elves in some sort of shop somewhere. Now,

1139
01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:49,600
Speaker 1: these are made by factories, um, often overseas, but not

1140
01:04:49,720 --> 01:04:55,840
Speaker 1: at the North Pole. Did Santa Claus make this game? Boy? Yeah? Now,

1141
01:04:55,960 --> 01:04:57,640
Speaker 1: my my wife and son when we were watching this,

1142
01:04:57,680 --> 01:05:00,000
Speaker 1: they question why the toy selection is so limited here.

1143
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:01,440
Speaker 1: But I think it makes sense because you have to

1144
01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:05,120
Speaker 1: remember this is Mars first Christmas. All of this is new.

1145
01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:08,320
Speaker 1: The children of Mars are just excited about the concept

1146
01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:12,439
Speaker 1: of doll and bat. Oh yeah, I think the other

1147
01:05:12,520 --> 01:05:20,600
Speaker 1: things on there are train tools, maybe Teddy Bear, I think. Oh.

1148
01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:23,760
Speaker 1: And also it's putting out little like model military at

1149
01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:26,720
Speaker 1: like little cannons and stuff. Oh yeah, and you think

1150
01:05:26,760 --> 01:05:29,640
Speaker 1: that Voldar would be pleased with that, But no, Volder

1151
01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:33,200
Speaker 1: has taken to the caves with the rebellion, right, So

1152
01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:36,480
Speaker 1: he's got some Hinchman hiding out with him. Uh. They

1153
01:05:36,480 --> 01:05:39,439
Speaker 1: say the cave is surrounded by a nuclear curtain which

1154
01:05:39,480 --> 01:05:42,200
Speaker 1: prevents people from coming and going unless they deactivate. And

1155
01:05:42,240 --> 01:05:44,840
Speaker 1: he's hatching plans with his Tody's And this is the

1156
01:05:44,840 --> 01:05:47,080
Speaker 1: part where one of the hinchman returns. He's been spying

1157
01:05:47,120 --> 01:05:50,000
Speaker 1: on Santa's workshop and he looks into the camera and

1158
01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:52,600
Speaker 1: does a commercial for the slinky. He's like, isn't this

1159
01:05:52,680 --> 01:05:55,360
Speaker 1: the most wonderful thing ever? It's a coil of metal

1160
01:05:55,640 --> 01:05:58,919
Speaker 1: that can walk down the stairs by itself. It makes

1161
01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:01,880
Speaker 1: you wonder it was Santa licensed by the Slinky Corporation

1162
01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:05,600
Speaker 1: to make Slinky's. And I's so, what about being on

1163
01:06:05,600 --> 01:06:07,400
Speaker 1: another planet? I guess that comes. I know that some

1164
01:06:07,520 --> 01:06:11,840
Speaker 1: legal documents talk about rights extending through the universe, and

1165
01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:15,200
Speaker 1: it maybe for this very reason. That's a good point.

1166
01:06:16,120 --> 01:06:19,400
Speaker 1: So he gives this beautiful monologue about the slinky. But

1167
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:21,760
Speaker 1: then Voldar is like, you fool, You are falling for

1168
01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:24,480
Speaker 1: the allure of toys. We believe in war, not fun.

1169
01:06:26,560 --> 01:06:28,640
Speaker 1: And this this, this is another scene where you have

1170
01:06:28,720 --> 01:06:32,800
Speaker 1: this absolute gargoyle of an actor in the background, just

1171
01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:36,680
Speaker 1: oh my God, such chewing of scene, right, it's just amazing,

1172
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:39,439
Speaker 1: really good. And then also this part made me laugh

1173
01:06:39,440 --> 01:06:42,200
Speaker 1: out loud when Voldar he's coming up with a plan

1174
01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:45,160
Speaker 1: of what to do, and he says, we can't eliminate

1175
01:06:45,200 --> 01:06:49,000
Speaker 1: Santa Claus, but we can discredit him. Yeah, He's like,

1176
01:06:49,040 --> 01:06:51,160
Speaker 1: if we kill him now, he will become a martyr.

1177
01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:56,880
Speaker 1: It's just basically um um uh doing Messiah all over again.

1178
01:06:56,920 --> 01:06:59,200
Speaker 1: They're like, this is the only way to bring him down.

1179
01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:02,160
Speaker 1: This is the only way to prevent Santa's jihat. Yes,

1180
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:04,240
Speaker 1: we we cannot kill Santa. We have to kill the

1181
01:07:04,240 --> 01:07:08,160
Speaker 1: Santa myth. Yes we must. We must destroy his brand.

1182
01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:12,040
Speaker 1: So I think their initial plan is just to sabotage

1183
01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:14,919
Speaker 1: the toy machine in Santa's workshop to make it spit

1184
01:07:14,960 --> 01:07:17,640
Speaker 1: out like dolls with Teddy bear heads and Teddy Bears

1185
01:07:17,640 --> 01:07:21,360
Speaker 1: with doll heads, which we do see later, but instead

1186
01:07:21,600 --> 01:07:24,920
Speaker 1: when they're in there, it crosses over with the subplot

1187
01:07:24,960 --> 01:07:29,640
Speaker 1: where Dropo has wanted to become Santa Claus because Momar

1188
01:07:29,760 --> 01:07:33,160
Speaker 1: makes Santa a backup Santa suit and Dropo wants to

1189
01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:35,720
Speaker 1: wear it, but he's not fat enough, so he stuffs

1190
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:38,240
Speaker 1: a pillow in there. And he's dancing around in the

1191
01:07:38,240 --> 01:07:41,760
Speaker 1: Santa suit with a hat on, and he's trying to

1192
01:07:41,800 --> 01:07:43,600
Speaker 1: fatten up I think by eating a lot of like

1193
01:07:43,720 --> 01:07:49,640
Speaker 1: ice cream pills. And so that's that's becoming Santa. My

1194
01:07:49,640 --> 01:07:52,240
Speaker 1: my wife and son asked, where did you get this pillow?

1195
01:07:52,360 --> 01:07:55,360
Speaker 1: Because where, where where do we see any Martians with pillows? No,

1196
01:07:55,440 --> 01:07:57,720
Speaker 1: they don't sleep with pillows. They sleep on some sort

1197
01:07:57,800 --> 01:08:02,840
Speaker 1: of a weird inverted Pierre amid Um kind of a platform,

1198
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:06,160
Speaker 1: right while they listen to their podcasts. Yeah, exactly with

1199
01:08:06,600 --> 01:08:09,880
Speaker 1: the sleep spray. Yeah. Oh, and we missed In between

1200
01:08:09,920 --> 01:08:12,560
Speaker 1: there's a part where we see Santa come home from

1201
01:08:12,560 --> 01:08:15,200
Speaker 1: a day's work in the toy factory and he's talking

1202
01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:18,800
Speaker 1: to Keimar and everybody and he's like, wow, you know

1203
01:08:18,880 --> 01:08:21,000
Speaker 1: that was a long day at work. They say, are

1204
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:23,200
Speaker 1: you tired? He says, no, I'm not tired, but my

1205
01:08:23,400 --> 01:08:26,320
Speaker 1: finger is. He holds his finger up. He's like, now

1206
01:08:26,360 --> 01:08:29,400
Speaker 1: I have to go put my finger to bed. Needless

1207
01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:32,519
Speaker 1: to say, um, all of the various riffings of this

1208
01:08:32,600 --> 01:08:35,679
Speaker 1: movie have had tremendous fund with this line. I believe

1209
01:08:35,760 --> 01:08:40,000
Speaker 1: Lookout Knows was the riff from the original Industry Science

1210
01:08:40,040 --> 01:08:43,559
Speaker 1: theater three thousand treatment of the movie. That's good. But okay,

1211
01:08:43,560 --> 01:08:45,960
Speaker 1: so Dropos all dressed up as Santa. And so when

1212
01:08:46,040 --> 01:08:48,960
Speaker 1: Voldar and his hinchmen they break into the Santa workshop,

1213
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:53,240
Speaker 1: they just happened to run across Dropo dressed as Santa. Uh.

1214
01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:57,720
Speaker 1: They can't tell that he is not Santa. They do

1215
01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:00,840
Speaker 1: not notice that he is green and has intent, so

1216
01:09:01,080 --> 01:09:05,120
Speaker 1: they just take him interesting insight into the mind and

1217
01:09:05,280 --> 01:09:08,559
Speaker 1: perception of the Martian. They couldn't tell one Santa from

1218
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:11,599
Speaker 1: any other Santa when looking down at Earth either. Yeah.

1219
01:09:11,640 --> 01:09:13,880
Speaker 1: That's a good point. Yeah, yeah, so maybe they just

1220
01:09:13,920 --> 01:09:16,240
Speaker 1: don't have much visual acuity. That could be the case.

1221
01:09:16,600 --> 01:09:19,080
Speaker 1: They the the they have the antenna right, which may

1222
01:09:19,080 --> 01:09:23,840
Speaker 1: be their primary means of sensing the world around them. Yeah, okay,

1223
01:09:23,840 --> 01:09:27,080
Speaker 1: So Santa figures out what has happened. He says, oh,

1224
01:09:27,120 --> 01:09:29,240
Speaker 1: wait a minute. He finds out that his second Santa

1225
01:09:29,320 --> 01:09:32,599
Speaker 1: suit is missing and Dropo is missing. He's like, okay, well,

1226
01:09:32,720 --> 01:09:34,840
Speaker 1: wherever you find one, you're gonna find the other, because

1227
01:09:34,880 --> 01:09:38,640
Speaker 1: Dropo clearly wants to be me. He also discovers that

1228
01:09:38,720 --> 01:09:41,280
Speaker 1: his workshop has been sabotaged. This is when they're holding

1229
01:09:41,320 --> 01:09:43,559
Speaker 1: up like dolls with Teddy Bear heads on them. They

1230
01:09:43,560 --> 01:09:48,080
Speaker 1: look pretty horrifying. And now that they think they have

1231
01:09:48,200 --> 01:09:51,360
Speaker 1: Santa hostage, they actually have DROPO. Voldar and his henchman

1232
01:09:51,439 --> 01:09:55,439
Speaker 1: go to Keymar to list their demands. They say, Okay,

1233
01:09:55,439 --> 01:09:58,040
Speaker 1: we're going to release Santa Claus, but only if you

1234
01:09:58,200 --> 01:10:01,920
Speaker 1: won destroy the toy machine to send Santa and the

1235
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:06,400
Speaker 1: children back to Earth. And three quote no more joy

1236
01:10:06,439 --> 01:10:10,160
Speaker 1: through toys. Nonsense on Mars, and I think that's the

1237
01:10:10,240 --> 01:10:12,719
Speaker 1: name of the program. I guess it's Joy through Toys,

1238
01:10:12,760 --> 01:10:16,559
Speaker 1: which actually sounds kind of soulless. Yeah, I can easily

1239
01:10:16,560 --> 01:10:20,280
Speaker 1: imagine scenes where the Martian legislature is having arguments over this,

1240
01:10:20,400 --> 01:10:22,320
Speaker 1: so like some are saying, yeah, Joyce through Toys is

1241
01:10:22,320 --> 01:10:24,760
Speaker 1: the way, and others are like, more Martian money to

1242
01:10:24,800 --> 01:10:28,800
Speaker 1: be spent on Joy through toys. Come on. But while

1243
01:10:28,800 --> 01:10:31,640
Speaker 1: they're there, Chemar reveals, Hey, actually Santa's right here in

1244
01:10:31,680 --> 01:10:34,040
Speaker 1: the workshop next to us, so you don't have him hostage,

1245
01:10:34,040 --> 01:10:37,200
Speaker 1: and Voldar is astounded. How did he escape the cave?

1246
01:10:37,280 --> 01:10:41,040
Speaker 1: How did he get here so fast? Chemar replies, Santa

1247
01:10:41,080 --> 01:10:43,679
Speaker 1: Claus has powers you don't even know about, hands up

1248
01:10:43,720 --> 01:10:46,799
Speaker 1: and a gun on though, I love it. So Chemar

1249
01:10:46,920 --> 01:10:51,639
Speaker 1: now is just he's fully in the tank for Santa Claus. Yeah, absolutely,

1250
01:10:51,680 --> 01:10:54,799
Speaker 1: he's committed. Uh. And and now we have just full blown,

1251
01:10:55,120 --> 01:10:57,479
Speaker 1: uh kind of like a civil war on Mars here

1252
01:10:57,520 --> 01:11:01,040
Speaker 1: between these factions between the pro Santa and the anti

1253
01:11:01,080 --> 01:11:05,000
Speaker 1: Santa factions. Yeah. So Keimar tries to keep Voldar and

1254
01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:07,960
Speaker 1: his henchman in a storage shed that does not look

1255
01:11:08,040 --> 01:11:10,519
Speaker 1: Martian at all. It's just an earth storage shed that's

1256
01:11:10,520 --> 01:11:14,160
Speaker 1: got shelves, it's got like skis in there, and he's

1257
01:11:14,200 --> 01:11:16,519
Speaker 1: got the gun pointed at him. But they end up

1258
01:11:16,560 --> 01:11:20,759
Speaker 1: fighting and Voldar kind of escapes. Meanwhile, Dropo also escapes

1259
01:11:20,840 --> 01:11:23,759
Speaker 1: the cave where they're keeping him by like he turns

1260
01:11:23,760 --> 01:11:28,120
Speaker 1: off the quote nuclear curtain, I think by switching light

1261
01:11:28,160 --> 01:11:31,000
Speaker 1: bulbs on a machine. And it's not clear exactly what's

1262
01:11:31,000 --> 01:11:33,719
Speaker 1: happening there, but he he makes his way out. Everybody

1263
01:11:33,760 --> 01:11:37,920
Speaker 1: gathers back at Santa's workshop, Voldar runs in again, points

1264
01:11:37,920 --> 01:11:40,080
Speaker 1: a gun at Santa Claus and says, we meet again.

1265
01:11:40,240 --> 01:11:42,160
Speaker 1: And you know, you think, oh, is it all over

1266
01:11:42,240 --> 01:11:46,200
Speaker 1: for Santa Claus. But no, Voldar is defeated by the children.

1267
01:11:46,520 --> 01:11:50,040
Speaker 1: In fact, he is defeated by children running underfoot and

1268
01:11:50,080 --> 01:11:53,200
Speaker 1: being a nuisance and pelting him with toys until he

1269
01:11:53,360 --> 01:11:56,559
Speaker 1: is dead. Oh, he doesn't die, you know, but they

1270
01:11:56,680 --> 01:12:00,320
Speaker 1: but they do. They do mercilessly pelt him with boys

1271
01:12:00,439 --> 01:12:04,080
Speaker 1: and confetti and Christmas cheer. Yeah, there are a lot

1272
01:12:04,080 --> 01:12:06,360
Speaker 1: of the toys are attacking them to their kind of

1273
01:12:07,240 --> 01:12:12,960
Speaker 1: maximum overdrive elements to this attack. So the anti Santa

1274
01:12:13,040 --> 01:12:17,000
Speaker 1: rebellion has been squashed. But what happens next? We have

1275
01:12:17,200 --> 01:12:21,120
Speaker 1: a curious situation. Are we gonna continue with Santa Claus

1276
01:12:21,120 --> 01:12:24,640
Speaker 1: from Earth ruling over Christmas on Mars while they I

1277
01:12:24,640 --> 01:12:27,000
Speaker 1: guess they're just not gonna have Christmas on Earth. What

1278
01:12:27,160 --> 01:12:30,200
Speaker 1: is the possible solution to this? Well, we already know

1279
01:12:30,240 --> 01:12:32,360
Speaker 1: what it's gonna be. We We've got a second Santa

1280
01:12:32,400 --> 01:12:35,479
Speaker 1: in the movie. That's right, it's drop O. Drop O

1281
01:12:35,640 --> 01:12:40,160
Speaker 1: becomes drop O clause the Santa of Mars, interplanetary war

1282
01:12:40,360 --> 01:12:44,479
Speaker 1: is avoided and the future fun of children on Mars

1283
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:48,080
Speaker 1: is ensured. Beautiful, and drop O comes in dressed to

1284
01:12:48,200 --> 01:12:52,799
Speaker 1: Santa saying, Merry Christmas everyone, you know, Merry Christmas. Building

1285
01:12:52,800 --> 01:12:57,360
Speaker 1: and loan uh and the Martian children are excited. Betty

1286
01:12:57,439 --> 01:12:59,960
Speaker 1: and Billy are excited, but Betty and Billy and see

1287
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:01,559
Speaker 1: it to now we're going to get to go back

1288
01:13:01,600 --> 01:13:04,200
Speaker 1: to Earth. Uh. And there was one thing I noticed.

1289
01:13:04,560 --> 01:13:08,160
Speaker 1: Germar and Beamar give Betty and Billy gifts as they're leaving,

1290
01:13:08,160 --> 01:13:10,240
Speaker 1: but they don't say what the gifts are. And Billy's

1291
01:13:10,280 --> 01:13:15,040
Speaker 1: gift looks like a blood pressure cuff. I didn't notice this,

1292
01:13:15,120 --> 01:13:17,440
Speaker 1: So maybe they're setting up for the sequel, Like basically

1293
01:13:17,640 --> 01:13:20,200
Speaker 1: it's a planet of war, so they gave Billy like

1294
01:13:20,240 --> 01:13:23,880
Speaker 1: the laser blast gauntlet. He's gonna go home and it's

1295
01:13:23,880 --> 01:13:27,000
Speaker 1: going to be very disruptive. Uh. And at the end,

1296
01:13:27,160 --> 01:13:29,720
Speaker 1: Santa and the children blast off to travel back to

1297
01:13:29,760 --> 01:13:32,040
Speaker 1: Earth in a spaceship, and we hear the song again

1298
01:13:32,080 --> 01:13:35,000
Speaker 1: because you have not heard the song enough. Where did

1299
01:13:35,000 --> 01:13:37,320
Speaker 1: this spaceship come from? I'm trying to remember it. Is

1300
01:13:37,400 --> 01:13:39,479
Speaker 1: this a spaceship that Earth sent? Because there was this

1301
01:13:39,520 --> 01:13:42,519
Speaker 1: whole talk with vervon Green about how they were going

1302
01:13:42,560 --> 01:13:44,920
Speaker 1: to send a spaceship. What happened with all that? I

1303
01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:47,840
Speaker 1: never even mentioned this sublock because it never goes anywhere.

1304
01:13:47,960 --> 01:13:53,160
Speaker 1: But Billy sabotages the Martian spaceship's radar jamming thing, so

1305
01:13:53,200 --> 01:13:56,439
Speaker 1: that the Earth Space Force, which exists in this movie

1306
01:13:56,720 --> 01:13:59,920
Speaker 1: can detect the Martian ship, and then we Yeah, we

1307
01:14:00,080 --> 01:14:03,920
Speaker 1: have this interview with Werner von Breen and he's like, oh,

1308
01:14:04,160 --> 01:14:06,200
Speaker 1: you know, we were going to take a while to

1309
01:14:06,280 --> 01:14:08,719
Speaker 1: train our astronauts to go to Mars, but now instead

1310
01:14:08,760 --> 01:14:11,599
Speaker 1: we're gonna send them immediately. But we never see them arrive.

1311
01:14:12,400 --> 01:14:14,200
Speaker 1: There's a lot to make of that, but it also

1312
01:14:14,240 --> 01:14:16,880
Speaker 1: feels like maybe some stuff was just cut. I don't know, Yeah,

1313
01:14:16,920 --> 01:14:21,320
Speaker 1: that could be it. Like I expected human Earth soldiers

1314
01:14:21,360 --> 01:14:23,720
Speaker 1: to show up on Mars and rescue the children, but

1315
01:14:23,760 --> 01:14:30,080
Speaker 1: they It would be like the finale of Moonraker, Yes, exactly, Yeah,

1316
01:14:30,280 --> 01:14:33,680
Speaker 1: with the lasers. Oh man, that's great. We may have

1317
01:14:33,680 --> 01:14:35,920
Speaker 1: to do Moonraker in the future. Speaking of it, Oh,

1318
01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:39,479
Speaker 1: we should absolutely do Moonraker. That is the weirdest, one

1319
01:14:39,520 --> 01:14:42,280
Speaker 1: of the worst, but one of the most entertaining James

1320
01:14:42,280 --> 01:14:46,240
Speaker 1: Bond movies. And it's got Michael Lonsdale as Hugo Dracks,

1321
01:14:46,400 --> 01:14:50,320
Speaker 1: one of the most hilarious James Bond villains ever. Yes,

1322
01:14:50,600 --> 01:14:54,160
Speaker 1: a great, great actor, but yes, strange part but yes,

1323
01:14:54,200 --> 01:14:56,680
Speaker 1: of course in the end, uh, the bad forces of

1324
01:14:56,720 --> 01:15:00,280
Speaker 1: Mars get draxed and the Earthlings go back to Earth

1325
01:15:00,320 --> 01:15:03,760
Speaker 1: and it's it's happily ever after. But hit the song

1326
01:15:03,840 --> 01:15:07,599
Speaker 1: again because everybody loves um. Hooray for Santa Clause. So

1327
01:15:07,880 --> 01:15:10,720
Speaker 1: they played the song again, I think maybe after the credits,

1328
01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:13,040
Speaker 1: and they do the there's no bouncing ball, but they

1329
01:15:13,040 --> 01:15:16,000
Speaker 1: throw the lyrics up there on the screen so all

1330
01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:19,160
Speaker 1: the children in the audience and all the people watching

1331
01:15:19,160 --> 01:15:23,160
Speaker 1: at home can sing along with this infectious song. I'm

1332
01:15:23,200 --> 01:15:26,360
Speaker 1: sure the parents loved this because it encourages the children

1333
01:15:26,400 --> 01:15:28,519
Speaker 1: to sing along and shows them what the words are.

1334
01:15:28,560 --> 01:15:32,920
Speaker 1: So it's like, keep singing this for weeks at your parents. Now. Yeah,

1335
01:15:32,960 --> 01:15:35,240
Speaker 1: well it's stuck in my head and I'm the one

1336
01:15:35,280 --> 01:15:39,479
Speaker 1: singing it. That's the thing. Maybe you're a child at heart,

1337
01:15:39,960 --> 01:15:41,920
Speaker 1: I hope. So this is the season for it, right,

1338
01:15:42,760 --> 01:15:48,360
Speaker 1: So that's Santa Claus again conquers the Martians. Consider Martian

1339
01:15:48,400 --> 01:15:52,080
Speaker 1: civilization conquered by Santa Claus. At this point, Santa has

1340
01:15:52,520 --> 01:15:55,959
Speaker 1: established a Martian of his, choosing to rule over Christmas

1341
01:15:55,960 --> 01:15:59,920
Speaker 1: on Mars in his place. What would that title be

1342
01:16:00,200 --> 01:16:03,880
Speaker 1: if we were like looking back on ancient civilizations, What

1343
01:16:04,040 --> 01:16:07,600
Speaker 1: is the name of the ruler installed by the overarching

1344
01:16:07,600 --> 01:16:10,880
Speaker 1: emperor I don't know if there's a special name for

1345
01:16:10,920 --> 01:16:12,960
Speaker 1: that in the ancient world, but yeah, there were often

1346
01:16:13,080 --> 01:16:15,559
Speaker 1: kings who were you know, they had to pay tribute

1347
01:16:15,560 --> 01:16:19,200
Speaker 1: to the Empire. They're sort of the uh in some

1348
01:16:19,240 --> 01:16:23,679
Speaker 1: way of vassal of the imperial structure above them. Okay,

1349
01:16:23,840 --> 01:16:25,960
Speaker 1: so yeah, maybe Mars is now a vassal state to

1350
01:16:26,240 --> 01:16:30,160
Speaker 1: the North Pole. I can see that. Yeah, Santa Claus

1351
01:16:30,200 --> 01:16:32,679
Speaker 1: conquers the Martians. This one was a lot of fun

1352
01:16:32,760 --> 01:16:36,519
Speaker 1: as always to watch, a lot of fun to discuss. Um.

1353
01:16:36,680 --> 01:16:38,240
Speaker 1: I don't know about you, Joe, but I always find

1354
01:16:38,240 --> 01:16:41,000
Speaker 1: that even if it's a movie i've seen many times before,

1355
01:16:41,800 --> 01:16:45,280
Speaker 1: watching something for weird House Cinema, it requires me to

1356
01:16:45,280 --> 01:16:47,479
Speaker 1: to think about it a little differently and maybe approach

1357
01:16:47,560 --> 01:16:50,840
Speaker 1: it with a little more attention than I normally do.

1358
01:16:51,040 --> 01:16:53,360
Speaker 1: So this was This is a lot of fun to discuss,

1359
01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:55,880
Speaker 1: totally true, and obviously we'd love to hear from everyone

1360
01:16:55,880 --> 01:16:58,920
Speaker 1: out there. If you have thoughts about Santa Claus versus sorry,

1361
01:16:58,960 --> 01:17:01,840
Speaker 1: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. If you have thoughts about

1362
01:17:01,960 --> 01:17:05,040
Speaker 1: about this film, you have theories about this film, we'd

1363
01:17:05,040 --> 01:17:06,760
Speaker 1: love to hear from you. If you have memories of

1364
01:17:06,800 --> 01:17:10,920
Speaker 1: watching it riffed or unriffed in any form, definitely right

1365
01:17:11,000 --> 01:17:14,320
Speaker 1: in and we'll you know, potentially read those messages on

1366
01:17:14,360 --> 01:17:17,600
Speaker 1: a future installment of a listener mail. A reminder that

1367
01:17:17,640 --> 01:17:20,360
Speaker 1: we are primarily a science podcast with core episodes on

1368
01:17:20,400 --> 01:17:24,800
Speaker 1: Tuesdays and Thursdays, with a short form artifact or monster

1369
01:17:24,920 --> 01:17:26,840
Speaker 1: fact on Wednesdays and a listener mail on Monday. But

1370
01:17:26,880 --> 01:17:29,559
Speaker 1: on Fridays we set aside most serious concerns here on

1371
01:17:29,600 --> 01:17:32,880
Speaker 1: Weird House Cinema to just talk about a weird film.

1372
01:17:33,120 --> 01:17:36,760
Speaker 1: Huge thanks to our audio producer today, j J. Pauseway.

1373
01:17:36,800 --> 01:17:38,760
Speaker 1: If you would like to get in touch with us

1374
01:17:38,800 --> 01:17:41,559
Speaker 1: with feedback on this episode or any other, to suggest

1375
01:17:41,560 --> 01:17:43,679
Speaker 1: a topic for the future, or just to say hello,

1376
01:17:43,760 --> 01:17:46,400
Speaker 1: you can email us at contact at stuff to Blow

1377
01:17:46,439 --> 01:17:56,320
Speaker 1: your Mind dot com. Stuff to Blow your Mind. It's

1378
01:17:56,320 --> 01:17:59,599
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts, my Heart Radio,

1379
01:17:59,760 --> 01:18:02,479
Speaker 1: but the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

1380
01:18:02,520 --> 01:18:03,880
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.