WEBVTT - Mommy Issues

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<v Speaker 1>Wind Down with Jana Kramer and Michael Cosson and iHeart

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<v Speaker 1>Radio Podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>I still don't think that it just really it really

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<v Speaker 2>still doesn't sound extra like rift in there.

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<v Speaker 3>That just doesn't doesn't seem right.

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<v Speaker 4>Did I play the wrong one?

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<v Speaker 5>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just still just an't.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like maybe, oh, you know what would be

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<v Speaker 2>really cool is if we had a contest and someone

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<v Speaker 2>could send in how cool would that be? Like a

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<v Speaker 2>new jingle for us?

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<v Speaker 3>Wow, I don't like that to.

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<v Speaker 2>Have both of our names and saying iHeartRadio Podcast. It's

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<v Speaker 2>like a cool some guitar solo part for Mike.

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<v Speaker 3>And then Tory could just redo the voicing, right.

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<v Speaker 2>What do you mean read the voicing?

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<v Speaker 3>Because she she does the voice on this, doesn't she?

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<v Speaker 3>Then Alison can she can?

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<v Speaker 5>Wife?

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<v Speaker 3>Doesn't you can still record her voice for that whatever

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<v Speaker 3>the person sends in, I mean, yeah, unless it sounds great.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's like the audition tape for the middle, because

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<v Speaker 2>you know how many people went out for that song, right,

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<v Speaker 2>hundreds hundreds. I was a little offended. I didn't get asked,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's fine, just totally kidding. So I am very

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<v Speaker 2>intrigued by our guests. Today we have I don't want

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<v Speaker 2>to pronounce her name wrong, but it's soon. He soon,

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<v Speaker 2>He and Angelica. There's a new show on TLC called Smothered. Basically,

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<v Speaker 2>Sonny is obsessed with her daughter Angelica and she doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>think any man is good enough for her. Angelica and

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<v Speaker 2>Sunny actually sleep in the same bed and share the

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<v Speaker 2>same bathwater.

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<v Speaker 3>Interesting.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not judging at all. I'm just very curious to

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<v Speaker 2>understand kind of their thought process with with that lifestyle

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<v Speaker 2>and how it's working for them. And you know, does Angelica.

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<v Speaker 2>I think she has a boyfriend, So yes, it'd.

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<v Speaker 3>Be interesting to see what you know soon he the mom,

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<v Speaker 3>what her like backstory is on what kind of caused

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<v Speaker 3>her to create this kind of environment? Right? You know

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<v Speaker 3>what I mean? Like was she raised that way?

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<v Speaker 2>How would how would you feel if like I was

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<v Speaker 2>doing that with Jolie And I'm older in my fifties

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<v Speaker 2>and Jolie was in her or my forties.

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<v Speaker 3>I wouldn't let you, But.

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<v Speaker 2>Why does it have to be to let you thing?

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<v Speaker 2>I would I'm not saying I would do that, but.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, because it's it.

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<v Speaker 2>Kind of sounded like I will not allow you to

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<v Speaker 2>do that.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, just like if I did something that you didn't

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<v Speaker 3>agree with, you'd be like, no, you're not doing that.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I totally get what you're saying. I just it's

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<v Speaker 2>something where I just don't wonder. I guess I don't

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<v Speaker 2>understand it, but I don't want to judge it, because

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<v Speaker 2>if that works for them. But at the same time,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, for me, I want to raise a very

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<v Speaker 2>independent girl and son. So I feel like I would

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<v Speaker 2>be holding my daughter back if I was doing things.

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<v Speaker 3>Like that, right for sure. And I'm not saying I

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<v Speaker 3>wouldn't let you from a dominant male point of view,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm saying when it comes to parenting, that's obviously one

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<v Speaker 3>of the things that when you have a couple ship

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<v Speaker 3>with somebody and just hade to have kids, that you

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<v Speaker 3>guys have to talk about. And when you guys disagree

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<v Speaker 3>on something as extreme as maybe something like that, how

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<v Speaker 3>you raise your children, the other person, if they're against it,

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<v Speaker 3>they're not gonna be like, well, I can kind of

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<v Speaker 3>understand that, right, No, you're not doing that, Yeah, you

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<v Speaker 3>mean whatever. It is.

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<v Speaker 2>The mother daughter relationship though interesting because I know, like

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<v Speaker 2>from my mom when she moved out to LA with me.

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<v Speaker 2>It's one of those things where you have to be

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<v Speaker 2>careful of the boundary of friendship and being a parent too,

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<v Speaker 2>and reversing the roles, And I think that's, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>can be very tricky because sometimes if you're reversing the

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<v Speaker 2>role and the daughter feels more like the parent and

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<v Speaker 2>the parents are more like the child, it's really kind

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<v Speaker 2>of psychologically sets you not back. But it's just it's

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<v Speaker 2>a harder dynamic to follow when you're switching roles with

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<v Speaker 2>the parent, and I don't feel like those roles should

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<v Speaker 2>go that way. Yeah, I mean, I think there is

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<v Speaker 2>times when yes does a parent. At times a parent

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<v Speaker 2>may need that support from their older child. I do

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<v Speaker 2>get that if we're in a hard having a hard time,

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<v Speaker 2>or if you're going through a divorce or something, I

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<v Speaker 2>still think you should. So I'm not saying you have

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<v Speaker 2>to button it up always, but to have that role reversal,

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<v Speaker 2>I think could be really tough. Well, you have a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of responsibility to You're putting in yourself, like I

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<v Speaker 2>have to take care of my.

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<v Speaker 3>Mom right, which I think is a natural thing later

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<v Speaker 3>on in life where you know, like our parents, our

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<v Speaker 3>grandparents are getting to the age where they need to

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<v Speaker 3>be taken care of, and it's our parents that are

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<v Speaker 3>starting to take care of them. So it's one of

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<v Speaker 3>those things where it's like it comes full you know,

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<v Speaker 3>it's a cycle, it comes full circle at the end

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<v Speaker 3>where you know, the child becomes to the parent at

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<v Speaker 3>the end and taking care of the grandparent.

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<v Speaker 2>So sidebar, would you let your parents live with you

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<v Speaker 2>when they get older?

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<v Speaker 3>It depends. It would really depend.

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<v Speaker 2>Or would you put them in a home?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh? Man, it would really depend. It would depend on

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<v Speaker 3>where we're at. It would depend on what you know,

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<v Speaker 3>what age the kids are at. It would depend on

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<v Speaker 3>the financial you know, financial finances around it, because those

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<v Speaker 3>homes are expansive, you know, so not saying that we'd

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<v Speaker 3>have to pay for it, but still it's expensive. I

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<v Speaker 3>don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Well I remember you saying that you wouldn't you don't

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<v Speaker 2>want another kids because you're like, hey, I want like

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<v Speaker 2>the house to ourselves. Well, then our kids are gone,

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<v Speaker 2>but then we're basically bringing in a younger you know.

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<v Speaker 3>Parents are going to have to move in when the kids.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you know, who knows if they get sick or

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<v Speaker 2>if they when they get old. If we're having to

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<v Speaker 2>have them move in with us.

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<v Speaker 3>My thing is just knowing me though, because anytime that

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<v Speaker 3>you know my parents, we've both through my life, I've

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<v Speaker 3>had both sets of grandparents live with us at some point.

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<v Speaker 2>So I like my space too much.

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<v Speaker 3>Not trying to be like, no, I do too, but

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<v Speaker 3>I'm saying it's it's because that's what I've witnessed. I've

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<v Speaker 3>witnessed my grandparents us living back at my grandparents house,

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<v Speaker 3>through transitional times I've experienced where we've had my grandmother

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<v Speaker 3>live with us, where my grandfather has lived with us,

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<v Speaker 3>and now my grandfather lives permanently with my parents, And

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<v Speaker 3>so it's one of those things I'm exposed to that

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<v Speaker 3>that's the norm for me. So for me, my first

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<v Speaker 3>initial instinct would be like, hey, yeah, you guys are

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<v Speaker 3>sick or you guys need help, yet come live with us.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, of course I wouldn't say no, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>go down the road to Sunset, you know, retirement home.

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<v Speaker 2>But I mean it's like I lived with my mom

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<v Speaker 2>right after when I moved to LA, Like she lived

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<v Speaker 2>with me for a couple of years. I mean, shoot,

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<v Speaker 2>we all lived together, us three live together. So I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like.

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<v Speaker 3>And apparently I kicked Nora out.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because she didn't like but all as well now,

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<v Speaker 2>but you know, it's just one of those things where

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<v Speaker 2>again if she was sick, and of course I would,

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<v Speaker 2>but my first instinct is I would rather not, just

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<v Speaker 2>because I do like to be able to have our

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<v Speaker 2>own space, and I get so nitpicky with pushing the

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<v Speaker 2>chairs in and if they're not pushing chairs in or

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<v Speaker 2>putting this the dishes away, like even when our family

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<v Speaker 2>comes to visit. It's those things that when someone's in

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<v Speaker 2>your space it becomes frustrating.

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<v Speaker 3>We have less tolerance if it's one of us that

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<v Speaker 3>leaves something somewhere, like even us, like we'll have more

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<v Speaker 3>tolerance with each other's like okay, they know I don't

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<v Speaker 3>like when the dishes in sync, but okay, like we

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<v Speaker 3>give each other pass if it's something right every now

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<v Speaker 3>and then.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, mine's a total double standard because the second,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, if you die before me, and then I'm

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<v Speaker 2>left like I'm moving into Jason's house, I don't care

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<v Speaker 2>what the wife says, like I am moving in Jolie.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want to live with her, but Jace, like,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm moving in with your wife. So I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>play you this when Jace, you know, Mary is the

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<v Speaker 2>love of his life, but I will be living with

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<v Speaker 2>you and you have no choice.

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<v Speaker 5>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>I also like the dynamic there when Mike Mike said

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't let you, and you were like excuse me.

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<v Speaker 2>Now.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a very common thing I think in marriages where

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<v Speaker 1>the dad can be like, hey, I'm going to go

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<v Speaker 1>do this with the kids and the wife says, oh, no,

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<v Speaker 1>you're not right. But if he switched it around, the

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<v Speaker 1>wife's like, how dare you tell me how to raise.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm a grown woman. You cannot tell me. The man

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<v Speaker 3>will not tell me what I can.

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<v Speaker 2>Or cannot do quality baby.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah exactly. Then you guys say, no, you're not

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<v Speaker 3>doing that. Okay, Okay, you got.

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<v Speaker 2>The problem is it's just there's two different things. So

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<v Speaker 2>what I'm doing would be taking the kids to this

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<v Speaker 2>above all trampoline park and Mike's like, hey, let's go

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<v Speaker 2>RaSE four wheelers with the kids, and I'm like, they're three,

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<v Speaker 2>so there's a household present.

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<v Speaker 3>Is there a four wheeler out in the garage?

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<v Speaker 5>I don't know about.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, I love this hypothetical.

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<v Speaker 2>Reality, like that's like what the guy would like something

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<v Speaker 2>crazy like that, where it's like something for example, my

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<v Speaker 2>my no a.

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<v Speaker 5>Four wheeler for a three year old.

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<v Speaker 2>So for example, my.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm sorry that you want to take the kids to

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<v Speaker 3>color me mine?

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<v Speaker 5>Do you want to go?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my gosh above all extreme sports is so great

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<v Speaker 2>big Champlaine Park. No, I mean you're like, let's go,

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<v Speaker 2>let's go bungee jumping, you know, off off of a cliff.

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<v Speaker 3>I'd like experiences.

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<v Speaker 2>So but my dad, for example, he took my brother

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<v Speaker 2>when he was I think nine years old, because I

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<v Speaker 2>remember him coming back and it was the most dangerous

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<v Speaker 2>hill you could possibly even imagine, and they went bike

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<v Speaker 2>riding down and my brother falls off his bike and

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<v Speaker 2>completely destroys his face. I mean he comes back bleeding

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<v Speaker 2>and just like blood. Everyone is like his skin basically

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<v Speaker 2>is ripped off his face. And my mom was like,

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<v Speaker 2>where did you take him? And Martin's like, well, like

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<v Speaker 2>snow road And my mom was just like, you're an idiot,

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<v Speaker 2>like why would you do that? But I'm like that's

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<v Speaker 2>where I think it's the guy perspective versus like the

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<v Speaker 2>girl or the wife was like what's safe and what's

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<v Speaker 2>not safe? But my brother had so much fun, right, I.

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<v Speaker 1>Think that's an over exaggeration, but yes, but that is

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<v Speaker 1>the worst when she says, you know, maybe not, that's

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<v Speaker 1>really dangerous, you know it anyway, and they get hurt.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh that's the worst. The seeah, I told you, So

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<v Speaker 4>when you get thrust into that situation, Uh, the worst.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, guys, I really want to talk to our guests,

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<v Speaker 2>So let's take a quick break and then we'll get

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<v Speaker 2>them on there.

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<v Speaker 3>Do it.

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0:11:12.960 --> 0:11:15.360
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0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:19.240
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0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:22.600
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0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:27.920
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0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:30.600
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0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:43.040
<v Speaker 2>enter Jana. So excited, we have soon saying you're right, Sonny.

0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:45.559
<v Speaker 6>Son Hey, son Hey, we have Sony.

0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:48.000
<v Speaker 2>And Angelica from Smothered.

0:11:48.320 --> 0:11:52.120
<v Speaker 7>Welcome ladies, Hello, thank you, thank you for having us.

0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:55.440
<v Speaker 2>So I just I kind of just want the backstory

0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:58.079
<v Speaker 2>from you guys first, because I've read a few things,

0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:00.439
<v Speaker 2>but I want to hear it from you guys, and

0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:03.360
<v Speaker 2>I want our listeners to to kind of understand. Can

0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:05.160
<v Speaker 2>we start with Sonny.

0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:08.040
<v Speaker 6>About the relationship.

0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:12.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, about just kind of your upbringing, then your relationship

0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:12.559
<v Speaker 2>with your daughter.

0:12:13.800 --> 0:12:18.760
<v Speaker 8>My relationship with Angelica has been more than just a

0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:24.800
<v Speaker 8>mother daughter relationship. It's been more of a companionship and

0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:31.400
<v Speaker 8>she's been the sunshine in my life. So we have

0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:37.280
<v Speaker 8>healthy boundaries and a very respectful, loving relationship.

0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:41.360
<v Speaker 7>She didn't have a good relationship with her mother, and

0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:46.200
<v Speaker 7>so she's just built our relationship throughout the years. And

0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:48.600
<v Speaker 7>ever since I was young, I just could always remember

0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:49.640
<v Speaker 7>my mom was always there.

0:12:50.720 --> 0:12:53.360
<v Speaker 3>That's awesome. And so for the son here is that's

0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:55.760
<v Speaker 3>something where just because you didn't have that relationship that

0:12:55.840 --> 0:13:00.240
<v Speaker 3>maybe you always wanted, where you're just just overcompensating. It's

0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:03.040
<v Speaker 3>just like I'm going to give Angelica everything I got.

0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:07.440
<v Speaker 6>Yes, that is perfectly sad.

0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:12.480
<v Speaker 2>So what what makes you feel that you're why why

0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:14.120
<v Speaker 2>do people say that you smother them if you have

0:13:14.200 --> 0:13:15.600
<v Speaker 2>healthy boundaries.

0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:20.079
<v Speaker 8>Because they only are going by what they see. They

0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:22.680
<v Speaker 8>don't know really the the.

0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:24.720
<v Speaker 2>Whole detail of what do they see.

0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:29.120
<v Speaker 6>They see that I smother her, they see, So.

0:13:29.960 --> 0:13:31.880
<v Speaker 2>Which way is do you do people see that?

0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:33.839
<v Speaker 6>I think in.

0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:39.960
<v Speaker 8>Ways of controlling the relationships that she has. But it's

0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:43.000
<v Speaker 8>really not that I'm controlling. It's more like I'm looking

0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:47.760
<v Speaker 8>out for her. I'm being protective and what mother wit

0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:49.920
<v Speaker 8>and in the situation that she's in.

0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:51.199
<v Speaker 6>Right, So.

0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:55.600
<v Speaker 7>I'm thirty one, Oh no, I just turned thirty two.

0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:57.840
<v Speaker 3>That's right, congrau.

0:13:58.960 --> 0:13:59.960
<v Speaker 6>And oh thank you. Hey.

0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:02.600
<v Speaker 2>Is it true that you have a boyfriend but you

0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:05.679
<v Speaker 2>won't let the boyfriend move in or you want to

0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:07.200
<v Speaker 2>move out? What is it you want to move in

0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:07.640
<v Speaker 2>or outer?

0:14:08.120 --> 0:14:11.000
<v Speaker 7>So I do have a boyfriend and we've been together

0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:15.680
<v Speaker 7>for about two years. He has asked me to move in,

0:14:16.280 --> 0:14:22.720
<v Speaker 7>but I do want to bring my mother along as well. Interesting,

0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:23.760
<v Speaker 7>that'd be perfect.

0:14:23.400 --> 0:14:27.000
<v Speaker 2>For us, you know, because you want her living at

0:14:27.040 --> 0:14:29.960
<v Speaker 2>the house. I do because you want her to, or

0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:31.080
<v Speaker 2>because she wants.

0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:33.920
<v Speaker 7>To, I want her to live there. I mean, our perfect,

0:14:34.040 --> 0:14:38.320
<v Speaker 7>our perfect living situation. We would be my boyfriend and

0:14:38.360 --> 0:14:42.240
<v Speaker 7>myself and her fiance and my mom just all in

0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:43.960
<v Speaker 7>one household for sure.

0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:46.160
<v Speaker 3>And how does the boyfriend feel about this right now?

0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:48.240
<v Speaker 7>I mean, I think he's fine.

0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:50.240
<v Speaker 6>He has to be.

0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:52.120
<v Speaker 3>He doesn't have a choice, So.

0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:57.880
<v Speaker 7>I mean, I'm not forcing him to do anything.

0:14:58.120 --> 0:15:03.560
<v Speaker 8>So as if he did understand a relationship, wouldn't I

0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:06.280
<v Speaker 8>wouldn't be with him exactly with him?

0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:08.720
<v Speaker 3>So he So you're saying like, if you guys, you've

0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:11.600
<v Speaker 3>already been together for two whole years, so he obviously

0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:15.720
<v Speaker 3>understands y'all's relationship to an extent. At least for right now.

0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:18.560
<v Speaker 7>Right, Yes, he does. I mean he was brought up

0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:21.600
<v Speaker 7>by a single mother and his mother is also Asian.

0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:24.160
<v Speaker 7>They have my mom and her actually have a lot

0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:27.880
<v Speaker 7>of similarities, and so he gets our relationship. It's not

0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:31.320
<v Speaker 7>he's not as close with his mom like I am, right,

0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:34.160
<v Speaker 7>but he understands the dynamic because he was brought up

0:15:34.200 --> 0:15:36.040
<v Speaker 7>the same way, which is interesting.

0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:38.800
<v Speaker 2>I guess I'm having a hard time seeing what the

0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:43.200
<v Speaker 2>problem is. Why why you know, I guess I'm just

0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:45.360
<v Speaker 2>having hard time understanding what the issue.

0:15:45.120 --> 0:15:48.280
<v Speaker 3>Is, like whired, smothered like this ship like it's.

0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:50.720
<v Speaker 2>Like it's not like Angelicae has a problem with any

0:15:50.760 --> 0:15:53.200
<v Speaker 2>of it, So I don't see.

0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:57.120
<v Speaker 3>Why there's are like what things commercially have have been

0:15:57.280 --> 0:16:04.000
<v Speaker 3>emphathiz sorry, empathized, emphasized, I'm sorry, emphasized on the show

0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:08.360
<v Speaker 3>to make it taboo or we you know, or whatever

0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:11.040
<v Speaker 3>people think of it or just different, like what things

0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:13.120
<v Speaker 3>do you guys do that they kind of highlight.

0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:21.680
<v Speaker 7>There was in our sneak peek there was a scene

0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:24.960
<v Speaker 7>where Jason was giving me a ring and my mom

0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:27.520
<v Speaker 7>doesn't approve, so she asked me to give it back.

0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:30.520
<v Speaker 2>Did you approve of the ring.

0:16:32.160 --> 0:16:35.080
<v Speaker 7>I thought it was very nice, very lovely ring. It is.

0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:36.160
<v Speaker 7>It's very nice.

0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:37.360
<v Speaker 6>She did approve the ring.

0:16:39.080 --> 0:16:42.840
<v Speaker 3>And what's your, sonny, what's your Is it just you

0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:44.600
<v Speaker 3>want your daughter like you love her so much, you

0:16:44.640 --> 0:16:46.680
<v Speaker 3>want her to have the best that she deserves or

0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:49.200
<v Speaker 3>is it like, is it something else kind of other

0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:51.760
<v Speaker 3>than that which caused you to not approve of the ring.

0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:56.320
<v Speaker 8>There's a whole realm of him not having his divorce

0:16:56.400 --> 0:17:05.400
<v Speaker 8>finalized and his girlfriend's exactly exactly yes, you know his Uh,

0:17:05.680 --> 0:17:08.600
<v Speaker 8>he still has his ex girlfriend's belongings in his home.

0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:14.200
<v Speaker 8>And how is he able to honorably ask my daughter

0:17:14.280 --> 0:17:17.280
<v Speaker 8>to move in with him when he still hasn't done

0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:18.800
<v Speaker 8>these things as promised.

0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:22.040
<v Speaker 2>That makes completely that's a valid and again, but that's

0:17:22.080 --> 0:17:24.280
<v Speaker 2>not being smothering, Like that's a valid mom point. I

0:17:24.280 --> 0:17:25.520
<v Speaker 2>would say the exact same thing.

0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:27.440
<v Speaker 3>It's very rational thing, very rational.

0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:30.199
<v Speaker 2>So that's where I don't I'm like, that's where I

0:17:30.200 --> 0:17:31.840
<v Speaker 2>don't get the smothering part of it.

0:17:32.200 --> 0:17:34.920
<v Speaker 3>You guys, what we read something about do you guys

0:17:34.920 --> 0:17:36.480
<v Speaker 3>sleep in the same bed or are you used to

0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:37.840
<v Speaker 3>you help each other get dressed?

0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:41.200
<v Speaker 7>Like there we we do sleep in the same bed.

0:17:41.240 --> 0:17:44.200
<v Speaker 7>We have our own separate bedrooms, but we do sleep

0:17:44.240 --> 0:17:47.520
<v Speaker 7>in the same bed. Sometimes I watch my mom put

0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:50.480
<v Speaker 7>on her makeup, I help her get dressed, I help

0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:54.160
<v Speaker 7>her do her hair. I'm just her little helper.

0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:57.240
<v Speaker 3>Does she help you do the same.

0:17:58.000 --> 0:18:00.879
<v Speaker 7>If I ask her? But I don't really need the help.

0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:04.479
<v Speaker 2>And you, again, you have no issues or no problems

0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:08.680
<v Speaker 2>with that, Like that's just have this amazing relationship we do.

0:18:08.840 --> 0:18:11.440
<v Speaker 7>And I respect my mother so much and I will

0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:14.080
<v Speaker 7>do anything for her, so if she needs my help,

0:18:14.400 --> 0:18:16.120
<v Speaker 7>I mean I don't.

0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:19.960
<v Speaker 6>She taught me to ask for anything. She just automatically

0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:20.560
<v Speaker 6>does it.

0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:22.360
<v Speaker 7>Exactly.

0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:26.120
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I think people can easily judge, which isn't

0:18:26.160 --> 0:18:28.000
<v Speaker 2>fair because at the end of the day, if it

0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:32.560
<v Speaker 2>works for you guys, great, right, you know. I to

0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:34.159
<v Speaker 2>me sometimes I would if I would hear it, I'd

0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:36.879
<v Speaker 2>be like, all right, well, what about independence and wanting

0:18:36.960 --> 0:18:38.600
<v Speaker 2>you know, your child to live on your own. At

0:18:38.640 --> 0:18:40.679
<v Speaker 2>the same time, I loved living with my mom. He

0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:42.639
<v Speaker 2>was the one that did want my mom living with us.

0:18:43.320 --> 0:18:53.400
<v Speaker 5>No, but I mean essentially you did.

0:18:53.600 --> 0:18:55.359
<v Speaker 2>And it's okay because I'm like, all right, I guess

0:18:55.359 --> 0:18:56.959
<v Speaker 2>you're right, But I mean I would have lived with

0:18:56.960 --> 0:19:00.359
<v Speaker 2>my mom the entire time because I enjoyed have her own.

0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:01.640
<v Speaker 2>She's my best friend and I.

0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:03.720
<v Speaker 6>Loved her exactly amazing.

0:19:03.880 --> 0:19:07.200
<v Speaker 2>That's where, like I do, I understand that, and I think,

0:19:07.240 --> 0:19:09.520
<v Speaker 2>but I think people you know, have a hard time

0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:12.320
<v Speaker 2>with it because they have I think, place their own

0:19:12.359 --> 0:19:14.600
<v Speaker 2>judgments on it. But that's it just might not be

0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:16.680
<v Speaker 2>right for other people, and that's okay.

0:19:17.080 --> 0:19:21.080
<v Speaker 7>Yes, And it seems as though the ones who don't

0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:25.040
<v Speaker 7>have a close relationship with their parents they have an

0:19:25.080 --> 0:19:27.600
<v Speaker 7>issue with our relationship. I don't know what that is

0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:30.640
<v Speaker 7>or they put some sort of negative connotation. And how

0:19:30.680 --> 0:19:33.800
<v Speaker 7>can you when we clearly both love each other and

0:19:33.880 --> 0:19:36.560
<v Speaker 7>respect each other, how do you do something like that

0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:39.240
<v Speaker 7>to someone's relationship. I just don't understand, right.

0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:41.760
<v Speaker 3>It is interesting and for me, from my perspective, it

0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:45.920
<v Speaker 3>would just be people's discomfort because the relationship that y'all

0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:50.120
<v Speaker 3>have is something that they never experienced. So like even

0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:52.520
<v Speaker 3>for me is I'm very close with both my parents

0:19:52.520 --> 0:19:54.480
<v Speaker 3>and we have a fantastic relationship.

0:19:54.880 --> 0:19:56.080
<v Speaker 2>But you wouldn't take a bath of them.

0:19:56.119 --> 0:20:01.080
<v Speaker 3>But I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I mean, there's still certain

0:20:01.119 --> 0:20:03.120
<v Speaker 3>things that would be a boundary for me. But that's

0:20:03.160 --> 0:20:06.399
<v Speaker 3>just me because certain things would make me uncomfortable. You know,

0:20:07.480 --> 0:20:09.480
<v Speaker 3>what is it? Do you guys have anything that you

0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:12.680
<v Speaker 3>do individually or for yourselves that doesn't include the other?

0:20:13.960 --> 0:20:16.160
<v Speaker 6>We basically do everything together.

0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:17.280
<v Speaker 7>I don't know.

0:20:19.760 --> 0:20:22.840
<v Speaker 8>We get stumped every time we get asked that question

0:20:23.000 --> 0:20:27.720
<v Speaker 8>because practically, in our everyday life, from morning till we

0:20:27.840 --> 0:20:31.360
<v Speaker 8>go to sleep, we are very much involved in each

0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:32.200
<v Speaker 8>other's life.

0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:36.160
<v Speaker 7>Whether it's no. I was just about to say that

0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:41.280
<v Speaker 7>that's the only time we're apart. We work at different places, Okay, but.

0:20:41.200 --> 0:20:43.359
<v Speaker 2>I mean essentially, now you're on this TV show, so

0:20:43.760 --> 0:20:47.480
<v Speaker 2>you're kind of becoming this how do I say, like

0:20:48.320 --> 0:20:52.080
<v Speaker 2>your reality going to be reality stars in this new world,

0:20:52.160 --> 0:20:55.560
<v Speaker 2>So you're technically working together now too.

0:20:56.359 --> 0:20:58.440
<v Speaker 7>I think that's awesome, it's amazing.

0:20:58.760 --> 0:21:02.360
<v Speaker 2>Well, here's the thing. The reason I love like our

0:21:02.400 --> 0:21:04.200
<v Speaker 2>situation because I work with my husband. A lot of

0:21:04.240 --> 0:21:06.679
<v Speaker 2>people maybe didn't, well don't want to work with their

0:21:06.720 --> 0:21:09.119
<v Speaker 2>husband or their spouse or partner. And that's again, it's

0:21:09.359 --> 0:21:11.359
<v Speaker 2>whatever works for you, and I think that's great that

0:21:11.400 --> 0:21:14.399
<v Speaker 2>it works for you. And you know, now I'm going

0:21:14.440 --> 0:21:15.919
<v Speaker 2>to try to get my mom to live in with

0:21:16.000 --> 0:21:19.600
<v Speaker 2>us now, even though I just said when she's old,

0:21:19.640 --> 0:21:20.480
<v Speaker 2>i'd put her in a house.

0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:26.280
<v Speaker 8>But that's what my daughter, she always says, no matter

0:21:26.320 --> 0:21:29.040
<v Speaker 8>where I go, no matter how old I get, you

0:21:29.080 --> 0:21:30.439
<v Speaker 8>will always be with me.

0:21:30.600 --> 0:21:32.200
<v Speaker 7>I will carry my mom.

0:21:32.640 --> 0:21:35.920
<v Speaker 2>So what happens when that day does come though, when

0:21:35.960 --> 0:21:40.840
<v Speaker 2>she's not around, Like, will you be able to because

0:21:40.880 --> 0:21:45.760
<v Speaker 2>you know we can't taxidermy or you know, like but like,

0:21:46.320 --> 0:21:49.440
<v Speaker 2>how will you be able to because you've depended on

0:21:49.520 --> 0:21:51.080
<v Speaker 2>her so much with that relationship.

0:21:54.000 --> 0:21:57.760
<v Speaker 7>I don't know. Yeah, and I don't. I don't want

0:21:57.800 --> 0:22:03.760
<v Speaker 7>to think about that. I know it probably be the worst,

0:22:04.240 --> 0:22:05.240
<v Speaker 7>worst time of my life.

0:22:07.280 --> 0:22:10.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, would Yeah, I mean I can't even imagine.

0:22:10.960 --> 0:22:13.679
<v Speaker 2>I mean, obviously losing a parent, I can't even imagine,

0:22:13.760 --> 0:22:16.080
<v Speaker 2>but to have like the closeness that you guys have

0:22:16.200 --> 0:22:17.880
<v Speaker 2>that every single day. Because I don't see my mom

0:22:17.880 --> 0:22:20.439
<v Speaker 2>every day. I wish I could, but I I you know,

0:22:20.480 --> 0:22:22.600
<v Speaker 2>she lives in a different state, and so I can't

0:22:22.600 --> 0:22:27.040
<v Speaker 2>imagine how you would feel if that, you.

0:22:27.000 --> 0:22:31.399
<v Speaker 3>Know, on Smothered on TLC in the show, give our

0:22:31.400 --> 0:22:34.320
<v Speaker 3>listeners a little bit of kind of hindsight on what

0:22:34.359 --> 0:22:36.160
<v Speaker 3>you guys do. Is it them just kind of following

0:22:36.160 --> 0:22:38.360
<v Speaker 3>your alls? Everyday life or are you do you guys

0:22:38.440 --> 0:22:40.880
<v Speaker 3>kind of have a mission behind it of showing people, hey,

0:22:40.920 --> 0:22:47.840
<v Speaker 3>this isn't a different it's not a rehearsal, and it's

0:22:47.880 --> 0:22:50.159
<v Speaker 3>we're comfortable with it, Like are you guys trying to

0:22:50.200 --> 0:22:52.440
<v Speaker 3>just expect they just be like, hey, we're okay, and

0:22:52.480 --> 0:22:55.400
<v Speaker 3>this isn't some weird thing that well.

0:22:55.440 --> 0:22:59.600
<v Speaker 8>I think the misunderstanding of people is that they feel

0:22:59.640 --> 0:23:03.480
<v Speaker 8>that I don't give Angelica her space or the respect

0:23:03.600 --> 0:23:07.480
<v Speaker 8>of that she has her own life outside of our relationship.

0:23:07.600 --> 0:23:12.679
<v Speaker 8>But she does and she is given that. But in

0:23:12.800 --> 0:23:18.920
<v Speaker 8>everyday life, what you see on camera is what and

0:23:18.960 --> 0:23:22.200
<v Speaker 8>who we are right right, And I think which is love.

0:23:22.720 --> 0:23:25.960
<v Speaker 7>And I think people, you know, just because my mom

0:23:26.000 --> 0:23:27.840
<v Speaker 7>and I are close, they expect that, oh, she's just

0:23:27.880 --> 0:23:31.760
<v Speaker 7>the cool mom. She never was a disciplinarian or she

0:23:31.840 --> 0:23:36.639
<v Speaker 7>never you know, taught me how to be responsible.

0:23:36.119 --> 0:23:36.760
<v Speaker 5>In my life.

0:23:36.840 --> 0:23:40.720
<v Speaker 7>It's she was very much everything to me. My mother,

0:23:40.840 --> 0:23:44.960
<v Speaker 7>my father, my my disciplinarian, my best friend. She was everything.

0:23:44.960 --> 0:23:47.760
<v Speaker 7>And I think people think that just because we're close,

0:23:48.760 --> 0:23:52.199
<v Speaker 7>she wasn't a strong mother or a good mother. And

0:23:52.240 --> 0:23:54.439
<v Speaker 7>I want people to know that that she is.

0:23:55.320 --> 0:23:58.240
<v Speaker 2>See. I love that if I just again, I just

0:23:58.240 --> 0:24:00.320
<v Speaker 2>think it comes down to this is what works for

0:24:00.359 --> 0:24:02.960
<v Speaker 2>you guys, And I again, because of how close I

0:24:03.000 --> 0:24:04.679
<v Speaker 2>am with my mom, I love it and I get it.

0:24:05.600 --> 0:24:08.560
<v Speaker 2>I just don't. I hate that people are going to

0:24:09.080 --> 0:24:12.280
<v Speaker 2>cast their judgment on you because it might just not

0:24:12.359 --> 0:24:14.800
<v Speaker 2>be how they live their life, or they may have

0:24:15.000 --> 0:24:17.399
<v Speaker 2>insecurities because they want that with their parent or something

0:24:17.400 --> 0:24:18.040
<v Speaker 2>close to it.

0:24:19.400 --> 0:24:24.200
<v Speaker 8>I always wanted a very close relationship with Angelica because

0:24:24.880 --> 0:24:28.200
<v Speaker 8>as a child, I was not brought up with love

0:24:28.600 --> 0:24:32.840
<v Speaker 8>and attention and affection. So when I found out that

0:24:33.000 --> 0:24:35.160
<v Speaker 8>I was going to have a child and I knew

0:24:35.200 --> 0:24:39.120
<v Speaker 8>it was a girl, that was just an amazing day. Ever,

0:24:39.359 --> 0:24:42.960
<v Speaker 8>because I knew at that very point that she was

0:24:43.000 --> 0:24:45.680
<v Speaker 8>going to be my everything, and I wanted to give

0:24:45.720 --> 0:24:49.920
<v Speaker 8>her a different life than what I was brought up with.

0:24:50.640 --> 0:24:52.639
<v Speaker 6>So I.

0:24:54.200 --> 0:24:59.720
<v Speaker 8>Did that, and that's my healthy boundaries. Giving love and

0:25:00.080 --> 0:25:02.880
<v Speaker 8>giving some guidance. Those are the things that I did

0:25:02.920 --> 0:25:03.440
<v Speaker 8>not have.

0:25:04.760 --> 0:25:08.240
<v Speaker 3>And son, Hiana, Janna and I both want to affirm

0:25:08.320 --> 0:25:10.760
<v Speaker 3>you because the fact that you were able to break

0:25:10.760 --> 0:25:13.439
<v Speaker 3>the cycle in your family, because so many times you

0:25:13.440 --> 0:25:15.600
<v Speaker 3>see people who just fall into that same cycle of

0:25:15.640 --> 0:25:18.679
<v Speaker 3>whatever it is, the bad behaviors or bad trends that

0:25:18.720 --> 0:25:21.119
<v Speaker 3>happen in their family of origins. But you made the

0:25:21.160 --> 0:25:24.520
<v Speaker 3>decision to change that and you did that with Angelica,

0:25:24.640 --> 0:25:27.240
<v Speaker 3>so I we definitely affirm you for that and being

0:25:27.280 --> 0:25:30.720
<v Speaker 3>strong enough to raise you know, a strong and it

0:25:30.800 --> 0:25:33.160
<v Speaker 3>seems to be independent woman still.

0:25:33.680 --> 0:25:36.040
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's interesting because some people would look at

0:25:36.040 --> 0:25:38.480
<v Speaker 1>this show and think to themselves, oh, look at these

0:25:38.680 --> 0:25:41.880
<v Speaker 1>crazy freaks, and then and then like Janna is looking

0:25:41.880 --> 0:25:44.960
<v Speaker 1>at the show, well, I think that's kind of the

0:25:44.960 --> 0:25:48.960
<v Speaker 1>idea of reality television crazy. But then the other side

0:25:49.000 --> 0:25:50.560
<v Speaker 1>of it is like Jana is looking at it like

0:25:50.960 --> 0:25:53.720
<v Speaker 1>this looks ideal to me. I wish, I like, it

0:25:53.920 --> 0:25:56.640
<v Speaker 1>sounds almost like you hope that Joelie someday and you

0:25:57.040 --> 0:25:58.320
<v Speaker 1>have this level of closeness.

0:25:58.400 --> 0:26:00.240
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, she wants to with Jason, not Joey.

0:26:00.840 --> 0:26:03.480
<v Speaker 2>No, I mean okay, and he's still with Jolly too,

0:26:03.480 --> 0:26:06.240
<v Speaker 2>because I love again the relationship with my mom, So yes,

0:26:06.320 --> 0:26:09.960
<v Speaker 2>I mean both of them, but I mean again, and

0:26:09.960 --> 0:26:12.240
<v Speaker 2>it's something that like Angelica's on board with too, and

0:26:12.320 --> 0:26:14.639
<v Speaker 2>that's the same thing. It's not a forced relationship. You

0:26:14.680 --> 0:26:18.000
<v Speaker 2>guys aren't forcing anything. It's it is love. It is beautiful.

0:26:18.040 --> 0:26:20.200
<v Speaker 2>You guys are together, it's what you both want, and

0:26:20.560 --> 0:26:23.480
<v Speaker 2>again that's okay. Just like I know, I had a

0:26:23.480 --> 0:26:26.560
<v Speaker 2>hard time with some guests. We had that on the polygamy,

0:26:26.840 --> 0:26:29.240
<v Speaker 2>and at first I was kind of judging it. But

0:26:29.480 --> 0:26:31.600
<v Speaker 2>when I left that episode, I'm like, it's so wrong

0:26:31.640 --> 0:26:34.440
<v Speaker 2>of me to cast any judgment when that's the way

0:26:34.480 --> 0:26:36.119
<v Speaker 2>they want to live their life and that's what they

0:26:36.160 --> 0:26:39.320
<v Speaker 2>want to do, Okay, you know, so I hope people

0:26:39.359 --> 0:26:41.040
<v Speaker 2>can see the side too with that.

0:26:41.680 --> 0:26:43.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, And I think I mean, even when Jane and

0:26:43.280 --> 0:26:45.639
<v Speaker 3>I were kind of reading the breakdown on y'all coming

0:26:45.680 --> 0:26:49.040
<v Speaker 3>into today, you know, we didn't judge, but we made

0:26:49.040 --> 0:26:52.840
<v Speaker 3>the assumption that Son he that you're probably just an overbearing,

0:26:52.960 --> 0:26:55.399
<v Speaker 3>controlling that you know, angelic, I just had to do

0:26:55.480 --> 0:26:57.679
<v Speaker 3>whatever you said kind of deal. But clearly that's not

0:26:57.760 --> 0:26:59.840
<v Speaker 3>the case. And so, you know, for us to even

0:26:59.880 --> 0:27:02.960
<v Speaker 3>assume that, you know, is I think a positive thing

0:27:03.000 --> 0:27:05.560
<v Speaker 3>that when people tune into the show, they're able to

0:27:05.600 --> 0:27:07.639
<v Speaker 3>see what you guys have, what we're able to witness

0:27:07.720 --> 0:27:12.000
<v Speaker 3>right now, and then it's just mutual affectionate love and respect,

0:27:12.000 --> 0:27:13.040
<v Speaker 3>which is truly amazing.

0:27:14.240 --> 0:27:14.840
<v Speaker 6>Thank you.

0:27:15.119 --> 0:27:17.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to watch I'm like so excited how to

0:27:17.280 --> 0:27:20.320
<v Speaker 2>watch on Sundays it's ten nine Central, because I'm gonna

0:27:20.359 --> 0:27:23.119
<v Speaker 2>call my mom and I'll say, Mom, can this please

0:27:23.119 --> 0:27:23.879
<v Speaker 2>see us again?

0:27:24.000 --> 0:27:25.159
<v Speaker 5>I'm going to see you living with me?

0:27:25.320 --> 0:27:27.480
<v Speaker 2>And then the next day she's gonna knock on the door.

0:27:27.640 --> 0:27:30.800
<v Speaker 3>Yeah yeah, she would say, okay, I'm coming.

0:27:31.760 --> 0:27:35.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh is there anything that you want our listeners to

0:27:35.080 --> 0:27:37.480
<v Speaker 2>take away from our conversation? Anything you want to say

0:27:37.520 --> 0:27:38.639
<v Speaker 2>that you want them to know about.

0:27:39.320 --> 0:27:41.240
<v Speaker 7>I think we just my mom and I just hope

0:27:41.280 --> 0:27:46.240
<v Speaker 7>that people can watch our show and you know, maybe

0:27:46.920 --> 0:27:51.880
<v Speaker 7>encourage encourage them to have a close bond with any relationship.

0:27:51.880 --> 0:27:53.840
<v Speaker 7>It doesn't just have to be mother and daughter, but

0:27:54.680 --> 0:27:57.360
<v Speaker 7>that having a close knit relationship with someone you love.

0:27:57.280 --> 0:28:00.439
<v Speaker 3>Is okay, yeah right it.

0:28:00.320 --> 0:28:02.600
<v Speaker 8>Is, and they don't have to dissect it into something

0:28:02.640 --> 0:28:05.280
<v Speaker 8>negative because it's so beautiful, right right.

0:28:05.800 --> 0:28:08.080
<v Speaker 2>Well, cannot thank you guys enough for coming on the show.

0:28:08.119 --> 0:28:12.159
<v Speaker 2>I wish we were there to give hugs, but we

0:28:12.320 --> 0:28:15.840
<v Speaker 2>superated and we just hope everyone watches Smothered on TLC

0:28:16.000 --> 0:28:18.520
<v Speaker 2>ten nine Central on Sundays. You guys are the best.

0:28:18.560 --> 0:28:28.159
<v Speaker 2>Thank you ladies, Thank you much. You know it's so funny.

0:28:28.160 --> 0:28:32.160
<v Speaker 2>What you said to them too, about being like reading

0:28:32.200 --> 0:28:36.280
<v Speaker 2>what we read about them but then realizing yeah, I

0:28:36.320 --> 0:28:39.360
<v Speaker 2>mean it's definitely not the way that we would go

0:28:39.400 --> 0:28:42.400
<v Speaker 2>about things, but it's still I still loved it and

0:28:42.480 --> 0:28:43.080
<v Speaker 2>understood it.

0:28:43.440 --> 0:28:47.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, even just just hearing it straight from them, maybe

0:28:47.240 --> 0:28:50.720
<v Speaker 3>like wait, it's not really that weird. They're just really

0:28:50.720 --> 0:28:51.240
<v Speaker 3>really close.

0:28:51.360 --> 0:28:53.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and you really love your mom and you really

0:28:53.160 --> 0:28:57.200
<v Speaker 2>but I think what really when she started to get upset, Angelica, Yeah,

0:28:57.360 --> 0:28:59.840
<v Speaker 2>that is what that is where my fear comes in

0:28:59.840 --> 0:29:01.800
<v Speaker 2>from her, Like what's gonna happen? Like I feel like

0:29:01.840 --> 0:29:03.640
<v Speaker 2>she needs to, like to your point, maybe go do

0:29:03.720 --> 0:29:07.080
<v Speaker 2>something outside of their relationship so that she can start

0:29:07.720 --> 0:29:14.000
<v Speaker 2>strengthening a different bond besides her mom. Yeah, because if not,

0:29:14.040 --> 0:29:16.960
<v Speaker 2>she's gonna crumble when that day.

0:29:17.160 --> 0:29:17.440
<v Speaker 5>Moms.

0:29:17.640 --> 0:29:23.880
<v Speaker 3>My thing is when, yes, when that day comes, is

0:29:24.480 --> 0:29:30.320
<v Speaker 3>her relationship with her whatever husband, whatever person she's with,

0:29:32.080 --> 0:29:34.160
<v Speaker 3>you know, is that relationship going to be strong enough

0:29:34.160 --> 0:29:40.040
<v Speaker 3>where it can withstand that tragic of a loss where

0:29:40.080 --> 0:29:42.320
<v Speaker 3>it's like, Okay, now she just has her husband. Is

0:29:42.360 --> 0:29:44.520
<v Speaker 3>that going to be enough for her? Do they have

0:29:44.560 --> 0:29:47.960
<v Speaker 3>a strong enough relationship? Yeah, because she's because her mom's

0:29:47.960 --> 0:29:49.600
<v Speaker 3>going to live with her wherever she goes, like she said,

0:29:50.360 --> 0:29:52.520
<v Speaker 3>so it's like, what is that? Is her marriage then

0:29:52.600 --> 0:29:56.080
<v Speaker 3>going to crumble because she doesn't have her mom and

0:29:56.440 --> 0:29:58.320
<v Speaker 3>maybe not because of her, but maybe the husband's like,

0:29:58.400 --> 0:30:03.320
<v Speaker 3>I I can't take this because you're not even present

0:30:03.320 --> 0:30:03.560
<v Speaker 3>with me.

0:30:03.880 --> 0:30:05.040
<v Speaker 2>It's interesting, it is.

0:30:05.120 --> 0:30:08.240
<v Speaker 3>It is interesting, I think. But I will say, at

0:30:08.360 --> 0:30:10.640
<v Speaker 3>least just talking to them today, it killed a little

0:30:10.680 --> 0:30:14.800
<v Speaker 3>bit of my judgment on the helicopter lawnmower parent, just

0:30:14.840 --> 0:30:19.440
<v Speaker 3>because it seems like she has still established boundaries enough

0:30:19.480 --> 0:30:22.400
<v Speaker 3>to be a disciplinarian and to be that way sound like.

0:30:22.400 --> 0:30:24.400
<v Speaker 2>She's being just whatever you want kind of Oh, here's

0:30:24.440 --> 0:30:25.200
<v Speaker 2>shielding things.

0:30:25.280 --> 0:30:28.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. Yeah. So if that's she has a job, yeah,

0:30:28.120 --> 0:30:31.400
<v Speaker 3>If that's true and that's you know, really how things

0:30:31.400 --> 0:30:34.320
<v Speaker 3>are going, which it seemed like it was, then you

0:30:34.360 --> 0:30:36.200
<v Speaker 3>know I could see that being the best of the

0:30:36.240 --> 0:30:38.040
<v Speaker 3>helicopter lawnmower parents.

0:30:38.320 --> 0:30:40.040
<v Speaker 2>Hey, Mark, do we have time to do some emails?

0:30:40.280 --> 0:30:40.480
<v Speaker 4>Yes?

0:30:40.560 --> 0:30:44.120
<v Speaker 1>Indeed, we've got some real interesting emails here. Lindsay says,

0:30:44.160 --> 0:30:45.920
<v Speaker 1>I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two

0:30:45.920 --> 0:30:48.360
<v Speaker 1>and a half years. He told me back in November.

0:30:48.400 --> 0:30:50.480
<v Speaker 1>The date a one night's stand with some check when

0:30:50.560 --> 0:30:53.040
<v Speaker 1>visiting the college he used to go to. He told

0:30:53.040 --> 0:30:55.400
<v Speaker 1>me the week after it happened and seemed very remorseful.

0:30:55.480 --> 0:30:58.040
<v Speaker 1>This was the only time it's happened, and he's apologized

0:30:58.080 --> 0:31:00.320
<v Speaker 1>numerous times. I've been trying to earn my trust, but

0:31:00.360 --> 0:31:03.520
<v Speaker 1>for some reason, I just can't shake this. Do you

0:31:03.560 --> 0:31:05.880
<v Speaker 1>have any advice on how to forgive. I know he's

0:31:05.920 --> 0:31:07.640
<v Speaker 1>a great guy and he made a terrible mistake, but

0:31:07.680 --> 0:31:09.680
<v Speaker 1>I've been having the hardest time dealing with this.

0:31:10.280 --> 0:31:11.160
<v Speaker 4>I also find it.

0:31:11.120 --> 0:31:13.720
<v Speaker 1>Odd that when I was in school, he was always

0:31:13.760 --> 0:31:16.520
<v Speaker 1>worried about me cheating and basically said he wouldn't put

0:31:16.600 --> 0:31:19.320
<v Speaker 1>up with it if I did, so it's interesting he's

0:31:19.360 --> 0:31:20.640
<v Speaker 1>the one who ended up cheating.

0:31:20.800 --> 0:31:22.560
<v Speaker 4>Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

0:31:23.440 --> 0:31:26.960
<v Speaker 2>I have so much with this. So first off, I

0:31:27.080 --> 0:31:30.719
<v Speaker 2>love the fact that he told her. That's huge. So

0:31:30.760 --> 0:31:33.520
<v Speaker 2>that should help your trust block because the fact that

0:31:33.560 --> 0:31:36.920
<v Speaker 2>she didn't have to find out he confronted and confessed

0:31:36.920 --> 0:31:40.000
<v Speaker 2>to her that is like so amazing, because a guy

0:31:40.040 --> 0:31:42.880
<v Speaker 2>that's going to continue to cheat isn't gonna be honest

0:31:42.880 --> 0:31:48.000
<v Speaker 2>in my opinion. From correct yeah, from the things that

0:31:48.000 --> 0:31:51.520
<v Speaker 2>I've learned through life and other relationships. That is. That

0:31:51.640 --> 0:31:54.200
<v Speaker 2>is what I've seen to be the case. So if

0:31:54.200 --> 0:31:57.800
<v Speaker 2>someone comes to you and apologizes and tells you what

0:31:58.200 --> 0:32:00.880
<v Speaker 2>he did, that person most likely is not going to

0:32:00.920 --> 0:32:02.720
<v Speaker 2>do that again. So I think you need to give

0:32:02.760 --> 0:32:04.800
<v Speaker 2>him a little bit of gratitude and a little grace

0:32:05.080 --> 0:32:07.520
<v Speaker 2>and say thank you for coming, thank you for telling me.

0:32:07.640 --> 0:32:09.400
<v Speaker 2>I know, and I know it's still hard and you

0:32:09.400 --> 0:32:11.800
<v Speaker 2>can still be really upset and angry about it, but

0:32:11.840 --> 0:32:14.480
<v Speaker 2>you also have to be so appreciative because ninety nine

0:32:14.480 --> 0:32:17.360
<v Speaker 2>point nine percent of dudes would not tell you the truth,

0:32:17.880 --> 0:32:20.240
<v Speaker 2>would not tell you, and would not own up to it.

0:32:20.800 --> 0:32:24.560
<v Speaker 2>So I think that's like, I think that's huge. And

0:32:24.600 --> 0:32:26.840
<v Speaker 2>I know it's hard to trust, especially because he cheated,

0:32:26.840 --> 0:32:29.720
<v Speaker 2>and especially he said those things about cheating, but he

0:32:29.760 --> 0:32:32.600
<v Speaker 2>probably was doing that when he was saying that, which

0:32:32.760 --> 0:32:36.840
<v Speaker 2>any cheater will say. Anybody that's worried about you cheating

0:32:36.920 --> 0:32:39.560
<v Speaker 2>is most likely doing something because it's their own self

0:32:39.600 --> 0:32:41.320
<v Speaker 2>reflection coming out.

0:32:41.160 --> 0:32:43.560
<v Speaker 3>Or not necessarily that like I don't want to say

0:32:43.600 --> 0:32:47.560
<v Speaker 3>that they're definitely cheating, or its just their their their

0:32:47.600 --> 0:32:51.600
<v Speaker 3>self esteem, you know, their insecurity, insecurities and stuff like that,

0:32:51.640 --> 0:32:53.719
<v Speaker 3>where he's fearful of it.

0:32:53.960 --> 0:32:55.440
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, would you agree?

0:32:55.480 --> 0:32:58.440
<v Speaker 1>So are you saying that the more someone in a

0:32:58.480 --> 0:33:00.880
<v Speaker 1>relationship was obsessed with the other and cheating, the more

0:33:00.960 --> 0:33:02.280
<v Speaker 1>likely they are themselves to cheat?

0:33:03.640 --> 0:33:07.080
<v Speaker 2>Think that? Yeah? Yes, do you disagree? No?

0:33:07.280 --> 0:33:08.400
<v Speaker 4>I think that's absolutely right.

0:33:08.800 --> 0:33:12.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because I mean, shoot, even when I was being

0:33:12.400 --> 0:33:16.400
<v Speaker 2>crappy in relationships and being you know, unfaithful, I was

0:33:16.640 --> 0:33:19.360
<v Speaker 2>super amped up and I was like, oh god, it's

0:33:19.360 --> 0:33:22.360
<v Speaker 2>it was like, it really is true what they say

0:33:22.720 --> 0:33:24.920
<v Speaker 2>because I started to think I started to be really

0:33:24.960 --> 0:33:27.520
<v Speaker 2>worried about the other person cheating when I actually was.

0:33:27.680 --> 0:33:29.800
<v Speaker 2>So I think that's interesting.

0:33:31.200 --> 0:33:33.840
<v Speaker 1>You think it's possible that this guy just had maybe

0:33:33.840 --> 0:33:35.200
<v Speaker 1>he just had to get out of a system, he

0:33:35.280 --> 0:33:37.880
<v Speaker 1>just made a mistake, and that she can Yeah.

0:33:38.280 --> 0:33:39.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I don't know if out of the system, but

0:33:39.960 --> 0:33:41.520
<v Speaker 3>I think he made a mistake.

0:33:41.680 --> 0:33:45.200
<v Speaker 2>And he's sorry, he's apologized, and he told you. That's

0:33:45.320 --> 0:33:46.680
<v Speaker 2>so huge in my book.

0:33:46.840 --> 0:33:47.320
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:33:47.440 --> 0:33:50.080
<v Speaker 1>Should she set some parameters at this point, like, should

0:33:50.080 --> 0:33:51.840
<v Speaker 1>make it real clear that this happens again, I'm out

0:33:51.840 --> 0:33:52.120
<v Speaker 1>the door.

0:33:54.640 --> 0:33:57.480
<v Speaker 3>Don't don't make a draw like a line in the

0:33:57.480 --> 0:33:59.920
<v Speaker 3>sand if you're not willing to follow through with it.

0:34:00.720 --> 0:34:05.080
<v Speaker 3>So it's more so just expressing how much that hurt her,

0:34:05.720 --> 0:34:09.520
<v Speaker 3>how much it still hurts her, but being able to

0:34:09.600 --> 0:34:13.759
<v Speaker 3>acknowledge and affirm the fact that you know, yes, but

0:34:13.840 --> 0:34:17.160
<v Speaker 3>you told the truth. I appreciate that, but you did

0:34:17.200 --> 0:34:20.759
<v Speaker 3>really hurt me. So she can do both without having

0:34:20.760 --> 0:34:22.279
<v Speaker 3>to draw a line in the sand, like if you

0:34:22.400 --> 0:34:25.480
<v Speaker 3>ever do this again, I will leave right away and

0:34:25.480 --> 0:34:27.480
<v Speaker 3>not talk to you ever. And you're a piece or whatever.

0:34:28.200 --> 0:34:31.320
<v Speaker 3>So just I mean, yeah, agreed.

0:34:31.760 --> 0:34:35.279
<v Speaker 1>It's wind down at iHeartRadio dot com. This is from Shanna.

0:34:35.440 --> 0:34:37.080
<v Speaker 1>My boyfriend and I have been together four and a

0:34:37.120 --> 0:34:39.439
<v Speaker 1>half years, two of which we lived together. During this time,

0:34:39.480 --> 0:34:42.160
<v Speaker 1>my boyfriend decided on a complete career change quit his job.

0:34:42.680 --> 0:34:45.239
<v Speaker 1>His grandfather had been paying him five thousand dollars a

0:34:45.280 --> 0:34:47.520
<v Speaker 1>month out of his inheritance, but he wasn't saving it.

0:34:47.560 --> 0:34:50.399
<v Speaker 1>He was recklessly spending it. We couldn't apply for another

0:34:50.440 --> 0:34:52.440
<v Speaker 1>apartment with just my income, so we decided to move

0:34:52.480 --> 0:34:54.880
<v Speaker 1>back into our parents for two months until he got

0:34:54.920 --> 0:34:56.960
<v Speaker 1>a job. During those two months, we went on a

0:34:57.040 --> 0:35:00.640
<v Speaker 1>vacation together, and then after that he stopped responding to

0:35:00.719 --> 0:35:03.520
<v Speaker 1>any of my calls or my texts. They've been together

0:35:03.600 --> 0:35:06.600
<v Speaker 1>four and a half years. They lived together for two

0:35:07.200 --> 0:35:09.960
<v Speaker 1>three weeks later, I still had not heard from him,

0:35:10.360 --> 0:35:12.560
<v Speaker 1>and then I woke up this morning to an Instagram

0:35:12.560 --> 0:35:16.440
<v Speaker 1>direct message of him breaking up with me. I do

0:35:16.560 --> 0:35:18.360
<v Speaker 1>not even have the words for how I feel. I

0:35:18.440 --> 0:35:20.640
<v Speaker 1>was ghosted by my boyfriend of four years and then

0:35:20.640 --> 0:35:22.920
<v Speaker 1>he breaks it off on Instagram. I don't know what

0:35:22.960 --> 0:35:24.840
<v Speaker 1>to do and I don't know how to feel worthy again.

0:35:25.640 --> 0:35:27.719
<v Speaker 3>Were they living together at her parents' house.

0:35:28.040 --> 0:35:29.719
<v Speaker 4>No, they went to their separate parents' house.

0:35:29.880 --> 0:35:32.680
<v Speaker 3>Oh, to save money, so they were living together in

0:35:32.680 --> 0:35:35.600
<v Speaker 3>an apartment. Couldn't afford a new one, so they both

0:35:35.640 --> 0:35:36.960
<v Speaker 3>went to their own parents' house.

0:35:36.960 --> 0:35:39.120
<v Speaker 4>Right because he had blown all of his money foolishly.

0:35:39.160 --> 0:35:40.040
<v Speaker 5>You know this.

0:35:40.920 --> 0:35:45.399
<v Speaker 2>These stories always shock me. And it happened to one

0:35:45.400 --> 0:35:52.000
<v Speaker 2>of my mom's friends, Amanda, and they were actually engaged too,

0:35:52.640 --> 0:35:54.880
<v Speaker 2>and they were together for I think six years, and

0:35:54.960 --> 0:35:59.719
<v Speaker 2>he just literally disappeared and were like how I mean

0:35:59.719 --> 0:36:02.000
<v Speaker 2>he was just over a week ago and they were

0:36:02.000 --> 0:36:06.640
<v Speaker 2>in love and they're getting married and like, he literally disappeared, vanished,

0:36:07.680 --> 0:36:12.040
<v Speaker 2>no call, no breakup, no nothing, just gone. And it

0:36:12.160 --> 0:36:15.120
<v Speaker 2>was just like, did he get into a drug problem?

0:36:15.160 --> 0:36:16.440
<v Speaker 2>Did he like, where did he go?

0:36:16.800 --> 0:36:17.000
<v Speaker 6>Well?

0:36:17.160 --> 0:36:20.920
<v Speaker 2>Ended up he had met someone else and just started

0:36:20.960 --> 0:36:23.600
<v Speaker 2>a completely new life. So I don't know if that's

0:36:23.600 --> 0:36:27.319
<v Speaker 2>what he did in this situation, but I mean to say,

0:36:28.360 --> 0:36:32.600
<v Speaker 2>I mean, that's just that is so disrespectful. So I'd

0:36:32.640 --> 0:36:35.959
<v Speaker 2>almost I hate that she said to feel worthy again,

0:36:35.960 --> 0:36:37.839
<v Speaker 2>because I don't want you to put your worth into

0:36:37.880 --> 0:36:40.400
<v Speaker 2>this guy. And I think that's what hurt hurt me

0:36:40.440 --> 0:36:43.120
<v Speaker 2>the most out of that entire email, was that, you know,

0:36:43.200 --> 0:36:46.399
<v Speaker 2>she's linking her worth into this relationship into this guy

0:36:46.800 --> 0:36:49.759
<v Speaker 2>that does not deserve another second or minute of his

0:36:49.840 --> 0:36:53.280
<v Speaker 2>time to be that disrespectful to someone that she loved

0:36:53.320 --> 0:36:57.759
<v Speaker 2>and was with, and so to try to, you know,

0:36:58.160 --> 0:37:00.960
<v Speaker 2>cry about it for sure, one hundred, but then also

0:37:02.000 --> 0:37:04.360
<v Speaker 2>freaking stand back up and know your worth and know

0:37:04.440 --> 0:37:07.719
<v Speaker 2>that you dodged a freaking bullet by not being in

0:37:07.719 --> 0:37:10.120
<v Speaker 2>a relationship with someone that could have this such disrespect

0:37:10.160 --> 0:37:10.400
<v Speaker 2>for you.

0:37:11.400 --> 0:37:15.640
<v Speaker 3>Michael, mm hmm, I mean, how do I follow that?

0:37:16.200 --> 0:37:18.839
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I'm pointing like a president right now.

0:37:20.440 --> 0:37:23.960
<v Speaker 3>I mean, yeah, I mean, he's he's a goner. I mean,

0:37:24.520 --> 0:37:26.279
<v Speaker 3>and but where do what is it?

0:37:26.400 --> 0:37:28.200
<v Speaker 2>What's the guy? I mean, get in the guy's head

0:37:28.840 --> 0:37:29.160
<v Speaker 2>right here.

0:37:29.280 --> 0:37:34.239
<v Speaker 3>Oh it's not just a guy's head though, So you know,

0:37:34.320 --> 0:37:38.880
<v Speaker 3>like my uncle. Yeah, like his whole deal. You know

0:37:38.880 --> 0:37:42.000
<v Speaker 3>where my uncle is wife of ten years who is

0:37:42.000 --> 0:37:45.759
<v Speaker 3>from another country. Oh yeah, went to go visit that

0:37:46.160 --> 0:37:53.400
<v Speaker 3>said country to see family. Never came back, never came back.

0:37:53.480 --> 0:37:56.040
<v Speaker 3>And for months and months and months he tried to

0:37:56.040 --> 0:37:58.160
<v Speaker 3>get answers from her, like what is going on?

0:37:58.360 --> 0:37:59.040
<v Speaker 2>You were married?

0:37:59.160 --> 0:38:03.840
<v Speaker 3>They were married for ten years. Same and her daughter,

0:38:04.719 --> 0:38:08.640
<v Speaker 3>whom my uncle essentially like adopted, was still who's in

0:38:09.280 --> 0:38:14.440
<v Speaker 3>high school, was like seventeen at the time, was just

0:38:14.480 --> 0:38:17.719
<v Speaker 3>living at home with my uncle. And he's just like,

0:38:17.920 --> 0:38:20.759
<v Speaker 3>I'm sorry, I don't know where your mom is, Like

0:38:20.800 --> 0:38:24.440
<v Speaker 3>she wouldn't even take her daughter's calls. And then finally

0:38:24.480 --> 0:38:25.799
<v Speaker 3>at the end of it, the family's like, it has

0:38:25.800 --> 0:38:27.680
<v Speaker 3>to be somebody else. There has to be somebody else.

0:38:28.360 --> 0:38:30.040
<v Speaker 3>And when he would get it hold of her, he

0:38:30.080 --> 0:38:32.880
<v Speaker 3>would say that she said it wasn't somebody else's family.

0:38:32.920 --> 0:38:36.440
<v Speaker 3>She always had a store or some bs. Ultimately, at

0:38:36.440 --> 0:38:38.800
<v Speaker 3>the end of it, there was somebody else.

0:38:39.080 --> 0:38:39.600
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:38:39.719 --> 0:38:42.520
<v Speaker 3>So I mean for this situation, I don't know what.

0:38:42.920 --> 0:38:46.200
<v Speaker 3>I can't even come up with another reason how it

0:38:46.200 --> 0:38:47.399
<v Speaker 3>wouldn't be somebody else.

0:38:47.520 --> 0:38:49.959
<v Speaker 2>Well, as soon as I said, it's always somebody else.

0:38:50.400 --> 0:38:52.839
<v Speaker 2>Maybe there's that one percent that it's not somebody else

0:38:52.840 --> 0:38:54.759
<v Speaker 2>and they just want to get out of a relationship

0:38:54.840 --> 0:38:57.239
<v Speaker 2>and they don't know how, and the easiest way is

0:38:57.280 --> 0:39:00.520
<v Speaker 2>to ghost. Yeah, I mean, trust me the balls, I

0:39:00.560 --> 0:39:03.279
<v Speaker 2>would do it in a couple of my relationships. Yeah,

0:39:03.320 --> 0:39:04.759
<v Speaker 2>but I can't really disappear.

0:39:05.360 --> 0:39:07.280
<v Speaker 3>No, but you can't.

0:39:07.480 --> 0:39:10.040
<v Speaker 2>But I mean, but at the same time, though, it's

0:39:10.120 --> 0:39:14.359
<v Speaker 2>just like, where's the balls in that? Yeah, having such

0:39:14.440 --> 0:39:15.320
<v Speaker 2>disrespect for someone.

0:39:15.400 --> 0:39:18.840
<v Speaker 3>But like Jana said, you dodged a bullet, and obviously

0:39:18.880 --> 0:39:20.440
<v Speaker 3>it's hard right now, we can't.

0:39:20.840 --> 0:39:24.479
<v Speaker 1>She got that DM this morning, so it's definitely raw,

0:39:25.040 --> 0:39:28.280
<v Speaker 1>very very raw. What's her name again, Shanna?

0:39:29.000 --> 0:39:33.719
<v Speaker 3>Shanna? Yeah, that's I'm sorry, sweetheart, it is. That's super raw.

0:39:34.120 --> 0:39:39.040
<v Speaker 3>But the best to your ability. Just again, like Jana said,

0:39:39.040 --> 0:39:41.520
<v Speaker 3>you dodged a bullet and almost try to turn it

0:39:41.520 --> 0:39:45.600
<v Speaker 3>into a positive of being grateful that he gave you this, Yeah,

0:39:45.680 --> 0:39:49.080
<v Speaker 3>that he gave you this out because clearly he wasn't

0:39:49.080 --> 0:39:50.080
<v Speaker 3>the person for you.

0:39:50.120 --> 0:39:52.760
<v Speaker 2>No, and I know it. I know it doesn't seem

0:39:52.800 --> 0:39:55.040
<v Speaker 2>like it now, but you will find out the reason

0:39:55.120 --> 0:39:57.759
<v Speaker 2>later as to why y'all didn't work out. Because you're

0:39:57.760 --> 0:39:59.880
<v Speaker 2>going to be in a better relationship in a ca

0:40:00.239 --> 0:40:02.920
<v Speaker 2>years or a year, or however long it takes, it

0:40:02.960 --> 0:40:04.520
<v Speaker 2>will be the right person.

0:40:04.600 --> 0:40:07.799
<v Speaker 3>Then, do have the age does not know?

0:40:07.840 --> 0:40:08.240
<v Speaker 2>Twenties?

0:40:10.160 --> 0:40:11.120
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it sounds like twenties.

0:40:11.200 --> 0:40:13.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but then again, I mean, look at your uncle's situation.

0:40:13.160 --> 0:40:17.080
<v Speaker 3>Look at you know, they went and lived at their parents' house. Yeah,

0:40:17.760 --> 0:40:18.920
<v Speaker 3>most likely their twenties.

0:40:19.960 --> 0:40:22.880
<v Speaker 1>Jessica, this is a tough one. I'm twenty four. My

0:40:22.920 --> 0:40:25.279
<v Speaker 1>boyfriend of two years is twenty seven. We just had

0:40:25.320 --> 0:40:28.120
<v Speaker 1>a very real pregnancy scare. He doesn't want kids, and

0:40:28.160 --> 0:40:30.040
<v Speaker 1>it's made that clear from the beginning, which was perfect.

0:40:30.120 --> 0:40:30.880
<v Speaker 4>I don't either.

0:40:31.600 --> 0:40:34.359
<v Speaker 1>Lately, even before the scare, though, I'm not sure where

0:40:34.440 --> 0:40:37.120
<v Speaker 1>I stand if if it happens, it happens, but I'm

0:40:37.160 --> 0:40:39.040
<v Speaker 1>not going out of my way to have kids. I

0:40:39.120 --> 0:40:40.840
<v Speaker 1>wasn't going to tell him anything at first, and I

0:40:40.840 --> 0:40:44.600
<v Speaker 1>thought he would react horribly. Turns out he was surprisingly

0:40:44.640 --> 0:40:46.719
<v Speaker 1>supportive and said if he got pregnant, it was one

0:40:46.800 --> 0:40:49.680
<v Speaker 1>hundred percent my choice on how we handled it. So

0:40:49.760 --> 0:40:52.000
<v Speaker 1>the topic was dropped until the next morning when he

0:40:52.080 --> 0:40:54.400
<v Speaker 1>asked if it would be a deal breaker if he

0:40:54.480 --> 0:40:58.839
<v Speaker 1>got a vasectomy. I responded very passive, aggressively saying it's

0:40:58.880 --> 0:41:02.000
<v Speaker 1>your body. I have no It's not a deal breaker

0:41:02.040 --> 0:41:03.959
<v Speaker 1>for me currently, but I don't know how I'll feel

0:41:04.040 --> 0:41:06.239
<v Speaker 1>later in life. I honestly have no idea if I

0:41:06.280 --> 0:41:09.360
<v Speaker 1>want kids yet or at all. I know communication is

0:41:09.440 --> 0:41:11.439
<v Speaker 1>key and it's a conversation that's needed, but I also

0:41:11.480 --> 0:41:13.839
<v Speaker 1>have the very real fear I could lose him over

0:41:13.920 --> 0:41:16.520
<v Speaker 1>something I don't even know if I want yet. Two

0:41:16.640 --> 0:41:19.160
<v Speaker 1>years isn't that long, but we do love each other

0:41:19.200 --> 0:41:20.960
<v Speaker 1>and want to spend our lives together. I'd love any

0:41:20.960 --> 0:41:22.800
<v Speaker 1>advice you and or Mike can offer.

0:41:24.280 --> 0:41:29.680
<v Speaker 2>So first of all, okay, you're twenty four, so I

0:41:29.719 --> 0:41:33.200
<v Speaker 2>mean putting it in my perspective. I always knew I

0:41:33.200 --> 0:41:34.880
<v Speaker 2>wanted to be a mom, but there's a lot of

0:41:34.880 --> 0:41:37.840
<v Speaker 2>women that don't know if they want to be parents

0:41:37.920 --> 0:41:40.839
<v Speaker 2>at all, which is that's okay. But in your late

0:41:40.920 --> 0:41:43.320
<v Speaker 2>twenties thirties is honestly when it starts to kind of

0:41:43.400 --> 0:41:45.160
<v Speaker 2>hit for a woman and you're like, you know what,

0:41:45.239 --> 0:41:47.120
<v Speaker 2>I know that I said I didn't, but I actually

0:41:47.520 --> 0:41:53.759
<v Speaker 2>I actually do. And because you're start kicking in and

0:41:53.800 --> 0:41:56.680
<v Speaker 2>you're life young, twenty four is so young. And I

0:41:56.680 --> 0:42:02.279
<v Speaker 2>will also say too, the so I was not to

0:42:02.320 --> 0:42:04.960
<v Speaker 2>bring in like a past relationship. But there was someone

0:42:05.280 --> 0:42:07.440
<v Speaker 2>that was like, I don't want kids, and I was like, oh,

0:42:07.480 --> 0:42:09.600
<v Speaker 2>that's fine, I don't want kids either. And I was like, wait,

0:42:09.719 --> 0:42:12.839
<v Speaker 2>that's why would I say that. Of course I want kids,

0:42:12.840 --> 0:42:14.520
<v Speaker 2>But I was just trying to cling on to this

0:42:14.560 --> 0:42:18.879
<v Speaker 2>person that was obviously not right for me. But I

0:42:18.920 --> 0:42:21.960
<v Speaker 2>was trying so hard to like, please and so for

0:42:22.080 --> 0:42:23.920
<v Speaker 2>if she was like, fine, yes, please get to astact

0:42:23.960 --> 0:42:25.040
<v Speaker 2>me because I love you and I want to be

0:42:25.120 --> 0:42:29.279
<v Speaker 2>with you, But is that truly what you want? And

0:42:30.320 --> 0:42:32.839
<v Speaker 2>because again you're twenty four, like, you have so much

0:42:32.880 --> 0:42:34.279
<v Speaker 2>more life to live, You have so much more to

0:42:34.400 --> 0:42:37.680
<v Speaker 2>change and grow as a woman. And if you don't know,

0:42:38.719 --> 0:42:40.880
<v Speaker 2>that's the thing. If you were like one hundred percent

0:42:40.920 --> 0:42:43.280
<v Speaker 2>one way or the other, then that's an easier situation.

0:42:43.360 --> 0:42:46.040
<v Speaker 2>But if you don't know, that to me says that

0:42:46.080 --> 0:42:49.000
<v Speaker 2>you should pay be open, have a conversation that I

0:42:49.120 --> 0:42:52.240
<v Speaker 2>just don't want to make that closed decision right now.

0:42:52.640 --> 0:42:53.840
<v Speaker 2>That's just my personal opinion.

0:42:54.560 --> 0:42:58.319
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean, it's he's young to be thinking about

0:42:58.320 --> 0:43:01.520
<v Speaker 3>if he clearly does not want to have kids, or

0:43:01.960 --> 0:43:04.680
<v Speaker 3>so he thinks because he wants to have a vasectomy.

0:43:06.080 --> 0:43:07.520
<v Speaker 2>It's gonna be hard to change his mind. If he's

0:43:07.520 --> 0:43:09.360
<v Speaker 2>twenty seven months of the sectomy.

0:43:09.040 --> 0:43:11.400
<v Speaker 3>Right, that would be That's just seems so early. I

0:43:11.440 --> 0:43:14.000
<v Speaker 3>don't know why he'd be that adamant against it, but

0:43:14.040 --> 0:43:16.880
<v Speaker 3>if you know, you know, I guess you know. But

0:43:16.920 --> 0:43:20.040
<v Speaker 3>the thing is, he was even you know, kind of

0:43:20.120 --> 0:43:22.120
<v Speaker 3>support you or not kind of he was supportive like

0:43:22.160 --> 0:43:26.040
<v Speaker 3>she said about you know, possibly being pregnant or hey,

0:43:26.080 --> 0:43:28.080
<v Speaker 3>you can do it's your but you know, I'll support

0:43:28.120 --> 0:43:29.560
<v Speaker 3>you either way what you want to do with it.

0:43:29.719 --> 0:43:31.719
<v Speaker 2>But then flips it the next morning, then flips the

0:43:31.719 --> 0:43:32.080
<v Speaker 2>next morning.

0:43:32.080 --> 0:43:35.640
<v Speaker 3>So I'm not really sure either, but I'll just say that.

0:43:36.560 --> 0:43:40.200
<v Speaker 3>Say he wants to get one, okay, if you really

0:43:40.239 --> 0:43:44.160
<v Speaker 3>love him and he wants to get one. First tried saying, hey,

0:43:44.200 --> 0:43:45.799
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if I want kids or not, but

0:43:45.840 --> 0:43:47.520
<v Speaker 3>I really want to be with you. Do you have

0:43:47.560 --> 0:43:50.880
<v Speaker 3>to do this right now? And if he still says yes,

0:43:51.480 --> 0:43:53.560
<v Speaker 3>I want to, I have to. I need to if

0:43:53.560 --> 0:43:54.960
<v Speaker 3>we want to be together, I have to do this

0:43:55.680 --> 0:43:58.040
<v Speaker 3>all right. So he does it, and if he changes

0:43:58.040 --> 0:43:59.880
<v Speaker 3>his mind, you can still have kids. There's a way

0:43:59.920 --> 0:44:02.160
<v Speaker 3>to ways to do it. Now. You don't get a

0:44:02.239 --> 0:44:06.239
<v Speaker 3>vasectomy to get it reversed, or to have seemen extracted.

0:44:06.680 --> 0:44:08.520
<v Speaker 2>In your case, we did and I'm getting right.

0:44:09.400 --> 0:44:12.920
<v Speaker 3>So, but it is possible. It's not like she's saying, Oh,

0:44:12.920 --> 0:44:15.640
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna tie my tubes, you know what I mean.

0:44:15.920 --> 0:44:20.320
<v Speaker 2>But it's just so final though it is, but it isn't.

0:44:20.360 --> 0:44:22.319
<v Speaker 3>But it's I mean, it's a little extreme for being

0:44:22.360 --> 0:44:25.279
<v Speaker 3>twenty four and twenty seven years old having this discussion.

0:44:25.520 --> 0:44:27.440
<v Speaker 1>And Janney, you're the one that still wants still is

0:44:27.480 --> 0:44:29.800
<v Speaker 1>one hundred percent sure that you don't want more kids?

0:44:30.040 --> 0:44:31.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, even though.

0:44:30.920 --> 0:44:33.480
<v Speaker 2>After I go, here's the thing, I know that we're done.

0:44:33.520 --> 0:44:35.440
<v Speaker 2>It's just so hard because our little boy is going

0:44:35.520 --> 0:44:36.360
<v Speaker 2>to be seven months.

0:44:36.440 --> 0:44:37.439
<v Speaker 3>He's so cool.

0:44:37.480 --> 0:44:41.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm on, but I just she's got I think she

0:44:42.000 --> 0:44:43.160
<v Speaker 2>needs to hold off a beat.

0:44:43.200 --> 0:44:45.960
<v Speaker 4>What do you think, Mark, I think that she wants kids.

0:44:46.200 --> 0:44:48.279
<v Speaker 1>I think that she's telling herself she doesn't because she's

0:44:48.280 --> 0:44:51.080
<v Speaker 1>twenty four and she doesn't right now. But everything I

0:44:51.120 --> 0:44:53.280
<v Speaker 1>see in this email is that she's gonna want kids,

0:44:53.800 --> 0:44:55.960
<v Speaker 1>and it sounds like he's pretty dead set against it.

0:44:56.000 --> 0:44:57.640
<v Speaker 1>I like Mike's idea of putting it off and they

0:44:57.640 --> 0:44:59.760
<v Speaker 1>can decide later. But if he goes through with a vasectomy.

0:45:00.000 --> 0:45:03.520
<v Speaker 1>Think this is over. Honestly, I think that's I know

0:45:03.560 --> 0:45:05.759
<v Speaker 1>that's extreme and everything, but I feel like I see

0:45:05.760 --> 0:45:08.560
<v Speaker 1>clarity here. I feel that you are going to want children,

0:45:08.600 --> 0:45:10.759
<v Speaker 1>and you're gonna want a guy that wants children. If

0:45:10.760 --> 0:45:12.879
<v Speaker 1>he's really that dead set against that, I don't think

0:45:12.880 --> 0:45:13.520
<v Speaker 1>this is your guy.

0:45:14.160 --> 0:45:17.880
<v Speaker 3>And guess what if he gets a prosectomy, she doesn't

0:45:17.920 --> 0:45:20.560
<v Speaker 3>lose anything because it's like, all right, well, if you

0:45:20.600 --> 0:45:22.640
<v Speaker 3>don't want kids, then yeah, I'll find someone who does

0:45:23.360 --> 0:45:25.560
<v Speaker 3>and I'll be happier. So it's like there's no skin

0:45:25.640 --> 0:45:27.440
<v Speaker 3>off her back, really, and.

0:45:27.480 --> 0:45:28.960
<v Speaker 2>She will She'll find someone, right.

0:45:30.040 --> 0:45:31.960
<v Speaker 3>So, thank you so much for our guests. That was

0:45:32.080 --> 0:45:35.440
<v Speaker 3>such an interesting story in really good conversations with them,

0:45:35.480 --> 0:45:37.400
<v Speaker 3>And for the emails. Those are some Those are some

0:45:37.440 --> 0:45:39.399
<v Speaker 3>of the best emails we've had recently. Are awesome.

0:45:39.560 --> 0:45:43.160
<v Speaker 2>We've got any more wind down at iHeartRadio dot com.

0:45:43.480 --> 0:45:47.040
<v Speaker 2>All right, that's it, that's a rap. They've Oh wait,

0:45:47.080 --> 0:45:47.959
<v Speaker 2>we forgot.

0:45:51.120 --> 0:45:51.640
<v Speaker 3>Premature.

0:45:51.800 --> 0:45:58.720
<v Speaker 2>What's our dare for the week? Couples dare couples stare? Yeah,

0:45:58.760 --> 0:46:03.200
<v Speaker 2>my dare for them would to be compliment them one

0:46:03.960 --> 0:46:07.040
<v Speaker 2>like at least once a day. For a week, one

0:46:07.080 --> 0:46:10.560
<v Speaker 2>thing like paper really that shirt on you for Hey,

0:46:10.600 --> 0:46:13.640
<v Speaker 2>you look really cute today. One compliment for a week

0:46:14.600 --> 0:46:17.720
<v Speaker 2>until the next one down? Yeah you like it?

0:46:18.360 --> 0:46:21.040
<v Speaker 4>Okay, bye, we start now do you want to compliment

0:46:21.080 --> 0:46:21.399
<v Speaker 4>each other?

0:46:21.400 --> 0:46:21.560
<v Speaker 5>Now?

0:46:21.680 --> 0:46:23.760
<v Speaker 2>I just said, baby, look really cute.

0:46:24.360 --> 0:46:27.200
<v Speaker 3>Thanks, honey, I like your ses.

0:46:28.320 --> 0:46:29.680
<v Speaker 2>Oh you suck at this game.

0:46:30.320 --> 0:46:31.960
<v Speaker 3>You look beautiful even though you just worked out.

0:46:33.600 --> 0:46:38.120
<v Speaker 2>I don't believe that for a second, but thank you, Oh.

0:46:38.280 --> 0:46:41.640
<v Speaker 1>God, accept that you have to accept the compliment that

0:46:41.719 --> 0:46:46.279
<v Speaker 1>I'm stinky. Not accepting a compliment is like asking for

0:46:46.280 --> 0:46:47.200
<v Speaker 1>a compliment twice.

0:46:47.560 --> 0:46:48.840
<v Speaker 2>But he said I'm stinky.

0:46:49.600 --> 0:46:50.800
<v Speaker 4>Well that wasn't very nice.

0:46:51.080 --> 0:46:52.920
<v Speaker 1>But he said you were beautiful even though you just

0:46:52.920 --> 0:46:54.960
<v Speaker 1>looked out, You're still beautiful, and you said.

0:46:55.000 --> 0:46:57.879
<v Speaker 2>Accept that, but he followed it with your stinky. So

0:46:57.920 --> 0:46:59.880
<v Speaker 2>he's gonna have to work on this game, all right,

0:47:00.040 --> 0:47:01.880
<v Speaker 2>Love you guys. Wind Down next week by

0:47:07.360 --> 0:47:07.759
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm.