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Speaker 5: The moment you start to truly have agency and have independence,

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Speaker 5: a lot of people around you.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to She Pivots. I'm your host, Emily Tish Sussman.

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Speaker 1: I first met Brookes Shield at the Marie Claire Power

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Speaker 1: Trip talking about her company Beginning is Now, which encapsulates

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Speaker 1: so much of what she Pivots is about.

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Speaker 5: There's a resilience and a strength and women, and they're

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Speaker 5: often not told that it's okay to show it when

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Speaker 5: they show it. We're not taught that as you get

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Speaker 5: older you can be more confident, strong, or sexier every

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Speaker 5: stage of your life.

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Speaker 1: As a new Beginning, I immediately wanted to have her

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Speaker 1: on the show, but that was almost a year and

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Speaker 1: a half ago, and with the release of her documentary

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Speaker 1: Pretty Baby, I've learned so much about her life and

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Speaker 1: how she fought to pivot away from a narrative that

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Speaker 1: was defined for her since her childhood.

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Speaker 6: You've been famous all your life. You were practically born famous.

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Speaker 7: In nineteen eighty eleven major magazine covers in eleven months.

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Speaker 7: She's also rapidly becoming one of the movies most sought

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Speaker 7: after Stars and has received the nineteen eighty People's Choice

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Speaker 7: Award as Favorite Young Performer. So please welcome Brookshield.

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Speaker 1: From dealing with her alcoholic mother who was over controlling

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Speaker 1: but love Brooke deeply.

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Speaker 8: Because not only is my mom my mom, but she

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Speaker 8: is also my manager.

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Speaker 1: Were crazy and drove her to be better.

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Speaker 9: If you are a child of an alcoholic, it defines

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Speaker 9: you to a certain extent, so there's extreme highs and lows,

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Speaker 9: and my mom's alcoloholism was a battle that she never.

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Speaker 1: Won to later finding her way closer to her own

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Speaker 1: voice and agency through her time at Princeton.

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Speaker 8: Prior to university, I had sort of one life and

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Speaker 8: was very active in it, and then wasn't even sure

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Speaker 8: if I wanted to continue in the industry. When I

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Speaker 8: finished school, I took about a year off and really

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Speaker 8: thought about it, as.

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Speaker 10: What did you think about doing?

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Speaker 6: I wasn't sure.

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Speaker 1: Then, after years of work, she slowly learned how to

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Speaker 1: redefine her success and find her own narrative.

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Speaker 8: Had I not decided to really, for lack of a

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Speaker 8: better way of saying it, just go for it to

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Speaker 8: it that I would never know. You know, success is

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Speaker 8: a very relative concept, mean person's version of successes could

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Speaker 8: be completely different than another. And to me being able

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Speaker 8: to really commit to what I want and what I

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Speaker 8: believe in as an actress and see where that takes

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Speaker 8: me well professionally, I'm gonna I was at a crossroads

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Speaker 8: and sort of still am, just coming into a new

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Speaker 8: place in my own life and in my own career.

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Speaker 8: I'm much more in control of my own career now

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Speaker 8: and much more in control of the choices that I'm making.

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Speaker 1: Finding a new definition of success was a huge motivator

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Speaker 1: in starting this podcast. Brooks story truly blew me away.

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Speaker 1: She started modeling as a baby and had been in

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Speaker 1: the spotlight ever since. Despite every obstacle or rumor about her,

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Speaker 1: she overcame the noise and found her own path and

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Speaker 1: her own voice. So I usually started these interviews asking

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Speaker 1: about people's childhoods and what they wanted to be when

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Speaker 1: they what they thought they wanted to be. But you

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Speaker 1: were already in it, and we've seen a lot of

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Speaker 1: your childhood. But you were in it so young, Like,

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Speaker 1: did you ever think I'm going to be something other

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Speaker 1: than an actor?

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Speaker 6: I just didn't know anything else.

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Speaker 5: I mean, I was nine when I made my first movie,

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Speaker 5: and you know it's like kids grow up playing sports.

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Speaker 6: That was my sport.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I was put into that arena and that was

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Speaker 5: my sport.

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Speaker 6: That was my hobby.

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Speaker 10: Thank you.

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Speaker 6: I did my first job with him, did you how

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Speaker 6: old were you?

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Speaker 7: Eleven months?

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Speaker 5: Eleven months? That was what I did during my summer breaks.

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Speaker 5: But I didn't realize how much I loved it. Not

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Speaker 5: the modeling so much. I mean, the modeling was whatever

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Speaker 5: it was. It just it was sort of a thing

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Speaker 5: and you did it and we got to pay the rent.

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Speaker 5: And but the acting part and the performance aspect as

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Speaker 5: other people, I don't.

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Speaker 6: Think I knew how much I.

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Speaker 5: Thrived on it and needed it until I stepped away

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Speaker 5: from it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, even as a child, you brought so much.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what the right acting word is, like realness,

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Speaker 1: Like it's authenticity to your roles of what were you

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Speaker 1: drawing from as a child and a teenager to be

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Speaker 1: in these roles.

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Speaker 5: I don't think I was drawing from much. I mean

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Speaker 5: I think if I was drawing from anything, it would

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Speaker 5: not have been personal experience.

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Speaker 6: It would have been.

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Speaker 5: Fellini movies and beautiful French actresses who just seemed like

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Speaker 5: they were badass and they could walk into a room

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Speaker 5: and nobody was going to mess with them, and this

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Speaker 5: sort of larger than life. It was so affected by

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Speaker 5: European films and by spending time in Europe, and it

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Speaker 5: was just a very different sensibility. But I think when

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Speaker 5: I look back, and I really have only ever really

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Speaker 5: looked back at Louis Man because he's just, I think,

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Speaker 5: the one, true, true, true, true, true artists that I've

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Speaker 5: been able to be in the presence of. And albeit

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Speaker 5: not very taught, he didn't want me being skilled in

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Speaker 5: drawing from experience. He just wanted me to react, And

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Speaker 5: so from a very early age, on the one hand,

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Speaker 5: I wasn't being given any tools. On the other hand,

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Speaker 5: just being in the moment and being present was enough

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Speaker 5: for some roles. I don't think it was enough for

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Speaker 5: every role, and I think I fell short many times.

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Speaker 5: But when I look back at the early, early, sort

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Speaker 5: of unadulterated stuff, mostly like Pretty Baby, and then interestingly

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Speaker 5: not again until comedy, and comedy was the purest form

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Speaker 5: of being present for me because you couldn't overthink it,

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Speaker 5: you couldn't research how to be funny. The material was

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Speaker 5: either good or not good, but even bad material you

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Speaker 5: could find something to make of it. But it had

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Speaker 5: to happen in the moment. And so I think I

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Speaker 5: learned at an early age that being present and truly

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Speaker 5: reacting and listening. And you go to school later and

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Speaker 5: they meisner or whatever and the listening things, and I

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Speaker 5: would go in these classes and I think, not not

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Speaker 5: better if than any of this, but I would think,

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Speaker 5: wait a minute, wasn't I just listening when I was

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Speaker 5: a kid? Like maybe I just gotta go back to that.

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Speaker 5: I can't complicate this, not to say that I'm some raw,

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Speaker 5: unbelievable talent, but there was something in the essence of

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Speaker 5: that as a child that I learned to really value.

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Speaker 1: Well, I feel like that applies to so many things,

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Speaker 1: not just in acting, but across the board in reacting,

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Speaker 1: that we should trust our instincts from being a child

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Speaker 1: and go back to it. Like, I feel like that

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Speaker 1: could apply in so many contexts.

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Speaker 6: It definitely does.

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Speaker 5: I mean, I think it does in parenting as well.

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Speaker 5: If you're willing to get out of your own way

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Speaker 5: and get to know your children in a way where

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Speaker 5: you know them probably better than most people. If you

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Speaker 5: listen to them, and if you ask them, they have nothing. Really,

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Speaker 5: they haven't had stuff undone yet. Yeah, you know, and

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Speaker 5: all the while putting it in a four I'm at

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Speaker 5: that allows them to go out into the world and

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Speaker 5: know that there are there are rules, and there are consequences,

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Speaker 5: and there are all these things.

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Speaker 6: But how they feel about it.

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Speaker 5: But what I said to my daughters is like, yes,

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Speaker 5: you confide in me, you get angry at me, you

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Speaker 5: can yell at me, rage at me. Then you need

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Speaker 5: me all of these things. But I cannot be fully

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Speaker 5: objective because I.

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Speaker 6: Love you so much.

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Speaker 5: So what happens is either I'm going to try to

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Speaker 5: fix it, which I've gotten better at not doing all

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Speaker 5: the time, or I'm going to try to give you

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Speaker 5: tough love when I need it. But I was like,

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Speaker 5: you need to be able to complain about me to somebody. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: somebody who can give you constructive criticism or give you

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Speaker 5: or just be an ear. I was like, you can't

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Speaker 5: just complain to your friends about me, because it's not

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Speaker 5: going to be helpful to you, but.

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Speaker 1: Also a sign of good parenting that you and your

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Speaker 1: kids are talking about with your therapist. Yeah, so I've

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Speaker 1: seen you and your older daughter together, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like you guys have a really good peer dynamic as

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Speaker 1: well as mother daughter dynamic.

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Speaker 5: It's become a healthy dose of that. I don't want

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Speaker 5: to try to be a nineteen year old again. And

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Speaker 5: I see people do that, or I see it's hard.

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Speaker 5: You know, we kind of covet what they are because

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Speaker 5: we used to be that, yeah at the beginning of

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Speaker 5: the story, and everything's perky and flush and great, and

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Speaker 5: you know, and they've got everything to look forward to,

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Speaker 5: and you kind of go fun of a bitch, really,

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Speaker 5: but I don't want to chase it, you know, I

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Speaker 5: don't need to hang out with all our friends. But

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Speaker 5: our conversation has changed in a really that's where the

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Speaker 5: peer part comes in. We're able to talk as two

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Speaker 5: women because now I can hear her as a woman,

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Speaker 5: I hear her woman this in her. So I've adjusted

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Speaker 5: and try to find like that balance. But I will

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Speaker 5: say I'm still your mom, especially from my younger one,

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Speaker 5: I'm like, you still have to respect me because I

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Speaker 5: am your mother. You don't necessarily have to fear me,

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Speaker 5: but you do have to respect me. And so it's

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Speaker 5: with my older daughter, we've found a really nice balance.

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Speaker 5: And my younger daughter, you know, she's three years behind

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Speaker 5: and this is the first time she's been an only

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Speaker 5: child in the house and that's foreign to her, and

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Speaker 5: she's afraid of what's to come. We haven't gotten to.

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Speaker 6: That full balance yet, but I think it all happen. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: You know, I've never spent any time being a horrible

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Speaker 5: teenage daughter, and so when my daughters are horrible.

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Speaker 6: Teenage daughters, I'm like, I don't understand this. It's foreign

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Speaker 6: to me.

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Speaker 5: But you know, they don't have to take care of me, right,

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Speaker 5: And when I see them starting to go down that

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Speaker 5: road in any way, I just pull back and go,

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Speaker 5: I am not for you to parent. I am the parent.

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Speaker 5: I do not want to put this on you. I

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Speaker 5: don't know if it's just daughters or just whatever, but

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Speaker 5: whenever I've seen that start to happen in any way

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Speaker 5: where I get insecure and I need their validation for something,

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Speaker 5: I just always have to put the brakes on and say, Nope,

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Speaker 5: I am not irresponsibility.

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Speaker 1: You're making me think about where I put myself in

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Speaker 1: our relationship with my kids, because I think that a

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Speaker 1: positive that I've gotten out of parenting that I didn't

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Speaker 1: expect is that it's unlocked. It's like sillier part of

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Speaker 1: me that I had kind of tucked away in adulthood,

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Speaker 1: and I find so fun. And it's been like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: now we're dance partying, like now we're playing grocery store

253
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Speaker 1: and like getting super into it. But I'm partly doing

254
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Speaker 1: it because they like it, because I'm partly doing it.

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Speaker 6: Because I like it.

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Speaker 5: Right, I was an only child with my mom, and

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Speaker 5: then I had my father's whole fan which was just

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Speaker 5: very very different experience and.

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Speaker 6: Very great to have both.

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Speaker 5: But it's we are a really fun household because we

261
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Speaker 5: laugh a lot. That is something I did retain from

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Speaker 5: my mother, Like we used to laugh all the time,

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Speaker 5: and she was silly, but I had to sort of

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Speaker 5: be more the adult. So now with my friends, I

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Speaker 5: will be more joyous around them and silly around them.

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Speaker 6: And the things that my father.

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Speaker 5: Other parents don't necessarily bother me because the kids, you.

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Speaker 6: Know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I mean the interviews that you did starting young,

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Speaker 1: you were so poised. Did you have coaching around doing

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Speaker 1: media interviews?

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Speaker 5: Like oh god, no, no, no, no, no, no, I

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Speaker 5: mean I think it was just they were not as

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Speaker 5: important to me, and their questions were not as important

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Speaker 5: to me as protecting my mother was. So like you

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Speaker 5: sit in like when I see those I mean, they're

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Speaker 5: sort of rather heartbreaking.

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Speaker 6: And yet sweet and also you kind of want.

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Speaker 5: To say, like, good for you, kid, because you didn't

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Speaker 5: let them throw you at all. Yeah, but I wasn't

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Speaker 5: scared of them because I deep down I don't think

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Speaker 5: I was respecting them. I don't think I respected these

283
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Speaker 5: adults because they were supposed to be in positions of

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Speaker 5: power in intellectual ways, and they just kept asking the

285
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Speaker 5: same stupid questions.

286
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Speaker 6: So I was like, oh, here we go again.

287
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Speaker 5: You know, I just got so sort of immune to it,

288
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Speaker 5: but also wanted to be a good girl.

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Speaker 1: What became really clear to me and was eye opening

290
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Speaker 1: to me through the documentary is that this whole narrative,

291
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Speaker 1: this whole media narrative around you was formulating in the

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Speaker 1: country and you were the symbol of this like young sexualization.

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Speaker 1: And what I got from Pretty Baby was that you

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Speaker 1: weren't really aware of it, like you just kept going

295
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Speaker 1: through these interviews.

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Speaker 6: Oh, I wasn't aware of it at all.

297
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Speaker 5: I was completely shut off too, because I was home

298
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Speaker 5: and in bed and did my homework, and we lived

299
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Speaker 5: in New York.

300
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Speaker 6: It was just my mom and I.

301
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Speaker 5: We would go off Chinese food and then we would

302
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,760
Speaker 5: maybe watch I Love Lucy or something like that, and

303
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Speaker 5: then get to bed and go to school the next day.

304
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Speaker 5: And so it was like this really strange. I shut

305
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Speaker 5: myself off to it, like it just didn't exist.

306
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Speaker 11: How does someone who is sexually inexperienced, a twelve year

307
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:34,000
Speaker 11: old girl get into the mindset to do a seduction scene?

308
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Speaker 10: What experience do you draw on?

309
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:42,360
Speaker 11: There is an almost scandalous sensuality to Brookshields. So stay

310
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Speaker 11: with us for a not so innocent evening upstairs at Zee. Now,

311
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,880
Speaker 11: now all of this is added up into now that

312
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,040
Speaker 11: you were perceived and have been for the last couple

313
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Speaker 11: years as a sex symbol.

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Speaker 2: How did you relate to that?

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Speaker 8: That's another one of the things that I don't even.

316
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Speaker 6: Think about it.

317
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Speaker 1: Do you think your mom was aware of it, that

318
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Speaker 1: there was a whole national conversation about your sexualization as

319
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Speaker 1: a teenager.

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Speaker 5: I think she buried her head in the sand a

321
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Speaker 5: lot about a lot of it.

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Speaker 6: I think I think she just my.

323
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Speaker 5: Mom didn't think a lot about consequences to anything. She reacted.

324
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Speaker 5: She was never really fully sober. She wanted me to.

325
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Speaker 6: Be adored, and if that.

326
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Speaker 5: Meant I mean, she always used to say sex sel.

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Speaker 5: It was always an advertising being a model with sort

328
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Speaker 5: of her ticket out of Newark, and she saw the

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00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:44,240
Speaker 5: power in her own beauty. And then she had this

330
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Speaker 5: baby that was everything to her. She didn't exist after

331
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Speaker 5: that baby was born, and so it almost didn't matter.

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Speaker 5: She would say, it doesn't matter what they're saying about you,

333
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Speaker 5: as long as they're talking about you. So I just

334
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Speaker 5: don't think she gave it any thought.

335
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Speaker 6: There was never a place.

336
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Speaker 5: There was never will do this and then maybe you'll

337
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,960
Speaker 5: follow up that with maybe a theater production. And she

338
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:11,399
Speaker 5: wouldn't listen to any agents, any managers, anybody that wanted

339
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Speaker 5: to come in and sort of take my career. She

340
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,960
Speaker 5: was like, oh no, that meant removing her and that

341
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Speaker 5: was never going to happen. So on the one hand,

342
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,600
Speaker 5: she was putting me out there, but then on the

343
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Speaker 5: other hand, she didn't want to lose me, so she

344
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:29,439
Speaker 5: had to keep me really tethered. And I think that

345
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,879
Speaker 5: was just fear and insecurity on her part. You know,

346
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Speaker 5: any type of independence wouldn't mean she would be abandoned.

347
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Speaker 1: You were really at a high point in career when

348
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:46,439
Speaker 1: you decided to go to college, which wasn't necessarily traditional

349
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Speaker 1: in the industry. Did you feel like you were trying

350
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Speaker 1: to get away from the entertainment industry.

351
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Speaker 5: I wasn't trying to get away from it, because I

352
00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:57,480
Speaker 5: loved it and I just wanted to be in it.

353
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Speaker 5: But I didn't want it to take away from me,

354
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Speaker 5: and I didn't want it to steal college from me.

355
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,640
Speaker 5: And I didn't want it to steal you know. And

356
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:10,920
Speaker 5: remember I always went to regular schools. You go there

357
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,600
Speaker 5: that first day, and when I was little, it didn't

358
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,399
Speaker 5: really matter. But then you go to high school and

359
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,840
Speaker 5: it's like, oh, you're a famous person, and you're like, Okay,

360
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,080
Speaker 5: I'm just going to wait this out, and it's going

361
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:25,280
Speaker 5: to suck, and people are either going to avoid me

362
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,120
Speaker 5: or be mean to me, and I'm just gonna I'm

363
00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:30,680
Speaker 5: gonna wait them out, and I am going to make

364
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,399
Speaker 5: them like me. And I did it, and I did

365
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,200
Speaker 5: it in high school and I did it in college.

366
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Speaker 5: And people don't have a very long attention span. After

367
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Speaker 5: a while, I'm no longer going to be a novelty

368
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,680
Speaker 5: in eighth grade or ninth grade, right, so they'll get

369
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,919
Speaker 5: bored with it and tired. Then they'll just we'll be

370
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,400
Speaker 5: able to meet each other as people. And I think

371
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,960
Speaker 5: I learned that at a very early age, and so

372
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:57,520
Speaker 5: it became this source of defiance for me. There's a too,

373
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Speaker 5: a really good friend of mine from college. She and

374
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Speaker 5: her wife adopted two children, and my two girls there

375
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,919
Speaker 5: best friends, and they went in to grade school together.

376
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,040
Speaker 5: And we were all on vacation at one of our

377
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:14,119
Speaker 5: other roommates from college's house, and the girls all of

378
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:15,680
Speaker 5: a sudden looked at their mom and they.

379
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 6: Were like, what, why do you Why are you and

380
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:20,479
Speaker 6: Brooke friends?

381
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:25,920
Speaker 5: And we have complete opposite lives, And I mean, she's

382
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,800
Speaker 5: in finance. And I looked at the little girl and

383
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,800
Speaker 5: I said, oh, I said, your mom did not want

384
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:32,600
Speaker 5: to like me at first, I said, but I beat

385
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Speaker 5: her down.

386
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Speaker 6: I said, I beat her down, and I did it

387
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:35,960
Speaker 6: with humor.

388
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Speaker 5: That's the way I approached things because I was always

389
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Speaker 5: at a disadvantage. It was always me against the world

390
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:46,600
Speaker 5: or them. So instead of giving it all away and

391
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:51,880
Speaker 5: being so isolated and lonely, I would charge forward to it.

392
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Speaker 1: It sounded like it took a while in college and

393
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 1: that at one point you wanted to leave, but your

394
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,320
Speaker 1: mom actually encouraged you to stay.

395
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Speaker 5: It is the most selfless, scared thing I think she's

396
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 5: ever done. And I think it was the beginning of

397
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 5: a demise for her because she was letting go.

398
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,639
Speaker 6: But I will say I.

399
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:15,200
Speaker 5: Appreciate it so much because I was so homesick the

400
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 5: entire first semester. I was sick about being away from home.

401
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:25,480
Speaker 5: I had never known that type of discomfort before because

402
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 5: I wasn't working and I wasn't with my mom, the

403
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:33,199
Speaker 5: two constant things for my entire eighteen years. And I

404
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,119
Speaker 5: was like, Mom, I can't handle this. I have nothing

405
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:38,200
Speaker 5: in comment with with my roommates and everything is a mess.

406
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,080
Speaker 5: And I like to order, and I liked neatness, and

407
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 5: that was part of my sort of OCD way of

408
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:47,720
Speaker 5: handling Hollywood an alcoholic mom. I would redo my file,

409
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 5: effects refold my clothes.

410
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:54,439
Speaker 6: I was like, you know, I had obsessive tendencies.

411
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,600
Speaker 5: Because it kept my world in order. Then I get

412
00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:00,119
Speaker 5: to college and there's just no order at all, and

413
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 5: everything's sticky and it's beer, and it's like I was like,

414
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:08,879
Speaker 5: this is a jungle up here, and I just cried

415
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 5: all the time. I made her come out. She's like, look,

416
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,919
Speaker 5: i'll come out there every Wednesday and take you to dinner.

417
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 5: You can come home Friday. And after doing that for

418
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,120
Speaker 5: a while and knowing that home was still home and

419
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,240
Speaker 5: she was waiting for me, and then I started kind

420
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 5: of branching out. And it was through a theater company

421
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,679
Speaker 5: that I found my first group of people and I

422
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 5: had to try out. I was nervous about not getting in,

423
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 5: and everybody was possibly giving me a harder time because

424
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,000
Speaker 5: I didn't want me to think that I was getting

425
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 5: an easy ride, but they didn't know how to do

426
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 5: it either. Like I didn't hold that against them when

427
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,880
Speaker 5: I got in, and I was cast in group numbers

428
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 5: and we were all just trying to do our best,

429
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,560
Speaker 5: and it made a huge difference. And then I stopped

430
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,920
Speaker 5: going home as much. And my mom would say, what

431
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 5: do you want me to come for dinner Wednesday? And

432
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,359
Speaker 5: I'd be like, oh, We've got rehearsal Wednesday, and she

433
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,120
Speaker 5: go okay. So I think that that was it had

434
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 5: to happen gradually, and I'm just so thankful she didn't

435
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:10,639
Speaker 5: say yes, come home, and she didn't say don't come home,

436
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 5: because I knew she would have preferred me with her

437
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 5: every day. But she said, you will never forgive yourself,

438
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 5: and that told me that she understood me more than

439
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 5: I probably ever realized, you know, when she said, you're stubborn.

440
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,879
Speaker 5: When you put your mind to something, you don't give up.

441
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 5: And she called it the hula hoop syndrome, which was

442
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,240
Speaker 5: a silly story about a hula hoop contest that I

443
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 5: entered into and one never having hula hooped before. But

444
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 5: she always kept saying, remember the hula hoop, you will

445
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,119
Speaker 5: never forgive yourself. And I thought that that was a

446
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:49,119
Speaker 5: huge turning point for her, not necessarily for the best,

447
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:51,719
Speaker 5: but she was able to show me her love for

448
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:55,199
Speaker 5: me in that because it changed the course of my

449
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 5: whole life.

450
00:23:56,040 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 6: Going to college. I've always wanted to go to and university.

451
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,720
Speaker 8: I've thought about it ever since I was younger.

452
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 6: I've always wanted to go to Princeton.

453
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 12: Her dream came true in nineteen eighty three and she

454
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 12: was admitted to Princeton. Yet, despite the career demand, she's

455
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:15,639
Speaker 12: an a student, a member of the Triangle Club, drama society,

456
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,159
Speaker 12: and a good friend to her classmates. Recently, she shared

457
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 12: the line.

458
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 1: When you were in college and auditioning for the theater group,

459
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:29,199
Speaker 1: that's something that I really identify with. You know that

460
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,640
Speaker 1: I come from a family that people have talked about

461
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 1: my whole life and people have been interested in, and

462
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:39,359
Speaker 1: that trying to not be that, like, trying to not

463
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:42,760
Speaker 1: be singularly identified as part of my family, was I

464
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:47,719
Speaker 1: think the defining motivating factor for me professionally that I

465
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,399
Speaker 1: felt like to some degree it was the elephant in

466
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 1: the room that everybody around me assumed that I had

467
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 1: not earned my place, and so therefore I had to

468
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:02,640
Speaker 1: prove to every body that I was working longer hours,

469
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:08,880
Speaker 1: working harder, and it broke me. And once I realized

470
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:10,919
Speaker 1: that they were going to talk about me either way,

471
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 1: it was actually freeing because then I could make choices

472
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 1: that were good for me.

473
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:21,360
Speaker 5: We've been talking a lot about this sort of positioning,

474
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 5: and I think you're either one type of person or

475
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,439
Speaker 5: you or the other. You know, you either approach it

476
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 5: from that way or you do rest on your laurels

477
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:32,919
Speaker 5: because it's easier or because if things are given to

478
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 5: you to a certain extent. I think I'd seen a

479
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 5: lot of that in the entertainment industry. I'd seen people

480
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 5: act like that, and I saw people in my father's

481
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:47,280
Speaker 5: world be born with whole sets of silverware in their mouth,

482
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 5: and Oh, I don't want to behave in any way

483
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,120
Speaker 5: that I haven't earned it on my own, because when

484
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 5: I go to bed at night, or when i'm in

485
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 5: behind closed doors, I have to struggle with my own

486
00:25:58,320 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 5: self worth anyway.

487
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:00,919
Speaker 6: You know.

488
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 5: It started off as, Oh, you think I'm just a

489
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 5: dowb actress who's gotten a free ride here, So you know,

490
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 5: I'm going to prove to you that I'm going to

491
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:14,359
Speaker 5: get straight a's. And I saw them look at my

492
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 5: grades when they were posted, you know, and they would

493
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,160
Speaker 5: look at theirs and look at mine, and I thought, okay,

494
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:25,199
Speaker 5: they need that for them. It almost had nothing to

495
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:28,480
Speaker 5: do with me, and so I was like, oh God,

496
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 5: that's a waste of energy and time. But I'm such

497
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 5: an achiever that it became so much less about other

498
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 5: people because I knew it would just be a matter

499
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 5: of time before they saw and I wanted to make

500
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 5: sure that I was doing it because I wanted to

501
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 5: do it because it's exhausting constantly doing something for other people.

502
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 5: I spent my life, doing it for approval for everybody else.

503
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 5: College was the first time that I was doing it

504
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:57,720
Speaker 5: for myself.

505
00:26:58,880 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 3: School everything you expect.

506
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 13: It's more than I've expected. Really, it went past being

507
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:09,399
Speaker 13: academically wonderful. I mean it provided an entire social area

508
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:11,679
Speaker 13: of my life. I mean, I have friends that I

509
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 13: know I will have for the rest of my life,

510
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 13: and I throw up my own age and I'm happy

511
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 13: with them, and.

512
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,919
Speaker 6: I feel comfortable. You didn't tell me how you did

513
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 6: in your grades this year. I did very well. I

514
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:22,440
Speaker 6: just got my grades back. You can tell me straight a,

515
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 6: are you yeah, Princeton?

516
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:25,119
Speaker 5: Straight a?

517
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 1: You wrote a book in college, so you know, you

518
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 1: went into college, you were living a real college life,

519
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 1: forming that identity and experience for yourself. And then this

520
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,480
Speaker 1: book you talked about the fact that you were still

521
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 1: a virgin, and it brought your sexuality back into the

522
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:48,919
Speaker 1: national conversation.

523
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 5: It was not the intention that it was so not

524
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 5: the intention. What pissed me off about that book was

525
00:27:55,640 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 5: that that first chapter that I actually penned. These amazing

526
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 5: English classes I was taking, I was taking French literature classes.

527
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 5: I was doing all of this psychology and philosophy and

528
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 5: all these unbelievable places for me to find opinions in

529
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:16,360
Speaker 5: my own psyche. And I brought all of that. Maybe

530
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,159
Speaker 5: I was I wasn't trying to be lofty. I was

531
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 5: proud of my thoughts were kind of forming in and

532
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 5: I was writing essays all the time. And so I

533
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:29,959
Speaker 5: wrote this first chapter and it was deep. It was

534
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:34,119
Speaker 5: really about being so homesick that I could hardly see straight,

535
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 5: being famous, trying so hard to find my people, wanting

536
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 5: to go home, trying to be fine friends. Like it

537
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,720
Speaker 5: was just it was a very honest. It was like

538
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 5: a beautiful diary entry. And it was rejected so quickly,

539
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 5: and they hired a ghost writer and it became a

540
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 5: how to book of like how to wear leg warmers

541
00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 5: and how to eat at a buffet with you know,

542
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 5: had to pack for a weekend and pizza at eleven

543
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 5: o'clock is going to make your waistline bigger. And it

544
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 5: was just so inane that I just gave into it.

545
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 5: And we get to this chapter about boyfriends and things

546
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,280
Speaker 5: that my mom said, based on your fan mail, so

547
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 5: many kids are looking to you for advice, So why

548
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 5: don't you use this book as an opportunity to be

549
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 5: honest about how you live your life. And obviously she

550
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 5: was thrilled I was a virgin because I could still

551
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,560
Speaker 5: be hers. And so I was like, oh, I'm not

552
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 5: ashamed of this. No, I don't smoke, and I'm not

553
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 5: interested in throwing up blackout drunk on the weekends in college.

554
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 5: Like that's not the way I'm motivated, So I said,

555
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 5: and I'm a virgin now. It was still a catholic

556
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,719
Speaker 5: thing for me. Then, I think I was still there

557
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 5: was such arrested development. I mean, I was so sort

558
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 5: of naive. I was very mature on one level and

559
00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 5: very sequestered and protected and naive, and the other worked,

560
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 5: it didn't. I was not going to challenge it. It

561
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 5: worked fine for me, and I was willing to be

562
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 5: honest about it. And I was like, look, if you're

563
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 5: feeling pressure, don't do it. Like it was like my body.

564
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 5: My choice was I was saying that in nineteen eighty two,

565
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 5: or you know, basically saying there's no reason why anybody

566
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 5: should pressure you in a relationship. The irony was I

567
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 5: had been the antithesis of that in a career, but

568
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 5: in real life I was chased, you know, And so

569
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 5: I was just being honest, and then all of a sudden,

570
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 5: I went from oh, she's Lolita to she's America's sweetheart,

571
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 5: most famous virgin. And it was just like, really, I'm

572
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 5: going to Princeton University and that's what you're fucking interested in.

573
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 7: Do you believe in premierental psychles you feel strongly about

574
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 7: maintaining your virginity?

575
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 12: You know I'm going to go right here, well only

576
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,719
Speaker 12: be I have to get not nasty, but I have

577
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:00,880
Speaker 12: to get I personally ask.

578
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 4: You the virginity question.

579
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 2: I'm a little puzzled.

580
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 5: It was so like I was like, Wow, they're not

581
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 5: really interested in stuff with any depth. And you know,

582
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 5: so many kids came up to me and said thank you.

583
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 5: Parents came up to me and said thank you. Your

584
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 5: honesty about everything from drugs to virginity too. Everything was

585
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 5: just so helpful because it started conversations for me and

586
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 5: my children that sort of set a precedent because I thought, Okay,

587
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 5: the written word can carry a message that you wish

588
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 5: to put out there. So you are never going to

589
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 5: let someone else write your own book again, and you're

590
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 5: going to own everything that you put on paper.

591
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 1: You wrote in a later book, the moment I slept

592
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 1: with Dean, who was your boyfriend at the time, was

593
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:47,680
Speaker 1: the moment I left my mother. I chose him and

594
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 1: I felt this, and I'm sure she did as well.

595
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 1: So even at the time, did you see that as

596
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 1: like a pivot point for your agency.

597
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 6: No, because I.

598
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 5: Fed carried with it's such guilt, and I just I

599
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 5: just thought the world was going to know. And I

600
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 5: was a fallen woman, and you know, I mean, it

601
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:09,560
Speaker 5: was such a shame because I've done movies about young

602
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 5: love and the beauty of them and the freshness of it,

603
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 5: and that just the beauty of falling in love for

604
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 5: the first time, and I was so in love with them,

605
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 5: and yet that whole part of me was just shut

606
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 5: down and it was a shame.

607
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 6: I think it was a lost opportunity.

608
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 5: But it was the minute I remember thinking, oh, I've

609
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 5: just left my mother.

610
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 8: I'm less her little girl and her friend more her

611
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,320
Speaker 8: business partner as.

612
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 5: Well, because once that happened, I think to her and

613
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 5: her Psyche, she lost control of me. Someone had more

614
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 5: power over me, and that was devastating to her. I mean,

615
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,959
Speaker 5: the ameshment for her was so much, even worse than

616
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 5: it was for me. Because I was at the beginning

617
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 5: of things in my life.

618
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 1: Right do you remember when that turned into your own agency,

619
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 1: not just over your body and your personal life, but

620
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 1: over your career as well, since your mother had had

621
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 1: so much control in that aspect.

622
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 5: I would love to say there weren't years in between

623
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 5: that happening. I mean, I think what happened was I

624
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 5: needed to do it intellectually first, so you know, you

625
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 5: have that experience.

626
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 6: But then I.

627
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 5: Still had years of college during which to get to

628
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 5: know myself. And once it started with opinions. I have

629
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:46,160
Speaker 5: opinions about things. I have instincts about people, I have

630
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 5: instincts about situations.

631
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 6: And I was in an.

632
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 5: Environment where you've got some of the greatest minds in

633
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 5: the world looking at you and saying, what do you

634
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 5: think about this? Let's talk about what you think is important.

635
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 5: And that was such a novel experience for me that

636
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 5: I got like addicted to it, right, But then that

637
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,920
Speaker 5: was only in the education field. Right then I had

638
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 5: to come back out into sort of my real life.

639
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 5: And I say that facetiously, and all of a sudden,

640
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 5: people didn't want that.

641
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 6: They didn't want the new me, they wanted the old me.

642
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 5: The one that had no opinions and just smiled and

643
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 5: nodded and did what everyone said.

644
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 6: And it worked for me. Then, do you know what

645
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 6: I mean?

646
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,320
Speaker 5: I got approval, so it wasn't uncomfortable for me coming

647
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 5: out of it. I thought, Okay, I've done this intellectually,

648
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:37,839
Speaker 5: How the hell am I going to do it in

649
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 5: my life?

650
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 1: At this point, Brooke had a degree from Princeton, countless

651
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:51,040
Speaker 1: movies and magazines under her belt, and was still struggling

652
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:51,800
Speaker 1: to find work.

653
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:56,160
Speaker 5: I wasn't getting work, so I wasn't getting a chance

654
00:34:56,280 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 5: to exercise my talent and get strong longer with that,

655
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 5: and I was not physically in good a good place,

656
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,400
Speaker 5: and so I thought, Okay, I've done it intellectually to

657
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,960
Speaker 5: a certain extent, I don't want to lose that. What

658
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 5: do I have control over? And at that point I

659
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 5: still didn't. I didn't feel like I had control over

660
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:18,880
Speaker 5: my career. Certainly didn't feel like I had control over

661
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 5: my mother because she was so far in a bad

662
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 5: place by then that that I felt helpless.

663
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 6: There, I felt helpless.

664
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 5: So I just became sort of focused on myself physically.

665
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 5: So I took Dan's class for four or five hours

666
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 5: a day. I went to acting class, I studied, I

667
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 5: went deeper into therapy and just committed myself to getting

668
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 5: stronger physically. So I had the physical, I had the intellectual,

669
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,480
Speaker 5: and I just needed to work on my psyche, you know.

670
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 5: And it just took time, and it took relationships that

671
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,920
Speaker 5: I went into that I chose it was over my mother,

672
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,160
Speaker 5: and I would come out of every one of those

673
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:06,239
Speaker 5: relationships with a little bit more of myself, either what

674
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:07,680
Speaker 5: I didn't want or what I did want.

675
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:09,720
Speaker 6: And it just took time.

676
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,479
Speaker 5: It took into my probably when I went on tour

677
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:17,239
Speaker 5: with Greece as a rizzo, because I went on tour

678
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:20,920
Speaker 5: by myself. I'd never traveled by myself before and was

679
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 5: performing in front of thousands of people and scared out

680
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 5: of my mind, and I did it.

681
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,800
Speaker 7: I was gracing the has graced the covers of thousands

682
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 7: of magazines, now making a Broadway debut in Greece and

683
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:36,880
Speaker 7: getting raised good for he Is book shales everybody.

684
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:42,240
Speaker 5: And I came out of it with people saying good job.

685
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:45,319
Speaker 5: And it took hard work, and so I sort of

686
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:48,480
Speaker 5: had to chip away at everything so that I could

687
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 5: find what was always there to begin with.

688
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 6: But that I couldn't hear right.

689
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:59,240
Speaker 1: What I took away from the documentary at this point

690
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:02,440
Speaker 1: was that you went into a relationship with your ex

691
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 1: with Andre for many years and then eventually married, and

692
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 1: it seemed at that point that there was maybe some

693
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 1: sort of like moving for you of like under control

694
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 1: from your mother to under control from him, like he

695
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:17,319
Speaker 1: kind of filled that void, and that was like the

696
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:20,960
Speaker 1: process of moving into your own agency.

697
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:24,760
Speaker 5: And it also he was the first person who said,

698
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:27,520
Speaker 5: you know, if you really want to be an actress,

699
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:30,120
Speaker 5: you're complaining that you're not getting any work, and you're

700
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 5: sad about it, and you're empty, you feel terrible. Why

701
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:38,360
Speaker 5: are you sitting in New York City without an agent

702
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 5: or a manager. You've got to go back and get

703
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:45,880
Speaker 5: out on a limb. And in a way, I was

704
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,439
Speaker 5: doing what I had done in college, but I had

705
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 5: to do it in my career. So I told my

706
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 5: mother that I was separating from her as a manager,

707
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 5: and that if I was going to do this fail

708
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:01,799
Speaker 5: or not, I knew I needed to do it on

709
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 5: my own, without the same relationship that we had had.

710
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,759
Speaker 5: And so then she became in her mind the sort

711
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:14,360
Speaker 5: of the martyr again who gets forsaken, you know, three

712
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:17,600
Speaker 5: times by the sunrise or whatever, and you know, she

713
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,840
Speaker 5: then becomes I knew you were I knew it was

714
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:24,280
Speaker 5: going to happen. This happens, and it's the natural course

715
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:27,520
Speaker 5: of events, but for her, it meant death. You know,

716
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 5: she didn't believe that I was going to be able

717
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:33,479
Speaker 5: to do it. I think she was like, good yeah,

718
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,880
Speaker 5: good luck. In Hollywood, they're going to devour you, you know,

719
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 5: And that was just her way of sort of protecting

720
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:41,880
Speaker 5: herself because it's you know, no one's ever going to

721
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 5: love you like I do.

722
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:46,920
Speaker 1: During our interview, Brooke revealed that there were problems beyond

723
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 1: being unable to land a movie. She was struggling to

724
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 1: stay afloat financially.

725
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:56,799
Speaker 5: The really interesting thing and it didn't make the documentary.

726
00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 5: But my best friend from high school brought this up

727
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 5: to me because I left, I went out to LA

728
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:04,280
Speaker 5: I sort of morphed into his.

729
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 6: Life, but he was helping me.

730
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:09,799
Speaker 5: He was helping me get back on my feet financially

731
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,360
Speaker 5: because I needed to sell houses and I didn't know

732
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 5: how to sell a house, and I didn't how to

733
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:16,960
Speaker 5: balance my money, and I didn't none of this.

734
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:17,360
Speaker 6: You know.

735
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 5: My mom never even learned herself. It was like all

736
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,719
Speaker 5: went into a big pot and we kept buying houses,

737
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 5: and all of a sudden I found I was in

738
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:29,399
Speaker 5: a position with no capital whatsoever, and.

739
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 6: Like seven places of real estate.

740
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 5: And my ex said, you got to sell one to

741
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 5: pay off the other to sell to it, and you

742
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:39,359
Speaker 5: don't need this, and you don't need this, and you're

743
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 5: not going to be needing this, and you need to

744
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 5: scale down, liquidate, get back on your feet with that.

745
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 5: So it buys you freedom to audition and do all that.

746
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 5: And that sort of was just the beginning for me

747
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:59,919
Speaker 5: of finding agency and just being able to survive and live.

748
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:04,320
Speaker 5: But then he became a source of control because once

749
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,839
Speaker 5: my wings started to really spread and I was I'm

750
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:12,760
Speaker 5: in this television show that changes my life, never been happier,

751
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 5: and it's where I'm meant to be. It was as

752
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 5: if I finally found my purpose on screen and just

753
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 5: was living in such a happy place that that meant

754
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:30,879
Speaker 5: I was leaving him in his perspective.

755
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,240
Speaker 6: I mean, I don't know if he would.

756
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 5: Ever articulate it that way, but it happened again and

757
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 5: I thought, oh, this is really interesting. The moment you

758
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:46,080
Speaker 5: start to truly have agency and have independence. It threatens

759
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:49,080
Speaker 5: many of the systems that have worked for a lot

760
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 5: of people around you, and in this documentary.

761
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:55,720
Speaker 6: Is the same thing. It sort of ignited this thing.

762
00:40:56,800 --> 00:41:00,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I remember when that that episode of

763
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:05,880
Speaker 1: Friends aired. It was I mean, it was groundbreaking. You

764
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:11,880
Speaker 1: were so funny. I remember when I rewatched it in

765
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 1: the documentary. I remembered the way I felt the first

766
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:20,239
Speaker 1: time I saw it because it was so funny and

767
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:23,440
Speaker 1: we didn't expect it from you, like you were so

768
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 1: committed to it. So then, you know, both to reading

769
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:28,399
Speaker 1: your books and to see in the documentary that that

770
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,440
Speaker 1: would that you went back into the green room and

771
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 1: it was not well received, kind of crushed me on

772
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:36,760
Speaker 1: your behalf.

773
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 6: Thank you.

774
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 5: You know, that's something that people have really been taking

775
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 5: away from the documentary, and it was so familiar to

776
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 5: me that I call it the broadcast news. Do you

777
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 5: remember when Holly Hunter unplugs the phone to cry really quickly,

778
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 5: and then she plugs the one back in.

779
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:57,759
Speaker 6: I lived my life so much like.

780
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:01,279
Speaker 5: That, where temper your joy because it's too much for

781
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:05,120
Speaker 5: people like that moment to me was so important because

782
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:08,720
Speaker 5: all through rehearsal they didn't let me do the crazy

783
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:12,480
Speaker 5: and I was so frustrated, and I was like, God,

784
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:15,480
Speaker 5: I know they know better, they're the ones in charge,

785
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 5: but thank god, I have to do this.

786
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 6: I have to do this. And they said no, no, no.

787
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,319
Speaker 6: I was like, just do what they say.

788
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 5: Just you're lucky to be here, be thankful to shut up,

789
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:28,880
Speaker 5: do the line and leave like it was just it

790
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 5: was so familiar to me. And then when we did

791
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:34,479
Speaker 5: the second pass and they let me do it because

792
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:36,360
Speaker 5: they had gotten what they wanted in the can, so

793
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 5: they felt safe going for it.

794
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:39,800
Speaker 6: The second time.

795
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 5: And it was just met with I mean, there was

796
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,120
Speaker 5: shock at the moment in the audience because that's when

797
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:49,320
Speaker 5: we had live audiences. And then it was like this uproar,

798
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 5: and then the scene was over and I just was like, oh,

799
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:57,319
Speaker 5: what just happened. There was something divine about it, you know,

800
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:01,239
Speaker 5: And to go back into the dressing room, and he

801
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 5: was embarrassed by my behavior, even though he knew it

802
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,040
Speaker 5: was in the script. To this day, I don't know

803
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:11,600
Speaker 5: what the trigger was. I mean, I'm sure it went

804
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 5: back to something in his childhood. But I thought to myself, Oh,

805
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:18,839
Speaker 5: here we go again. You're not allowed to enjoy this,

806
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 5: so are you? What are you going to do about it?

807
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:23,480
Speaker 5: So I took care of the situation to the best

808
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 5: I could, just by sort of telling everybody I was

809
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 5: fine and this is just he left. And then I

810
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 5: was like, Okay, do I go in my dressing room

811
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:35,840
Speaker 5: and cry, or do I go into the friend's dressing

812
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 5: room and just insert myself in with them?

813
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 6: And that's exactly what.

814
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:44,640
Speaker 1: I did, given that you had in some ways gone

815
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 1: from your mother's world into Andre's world, and then you

816
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:50,360
Speaker 1: took this moment to say this is my life, like

817
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:51,880
Speaker 1: this is my story and I'm going to write it.

818
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:55,280
Speaker 1: Do you feel like maybe the end of that marriage

819
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 1: was like a bigger going out on your own moment

820
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: for you then kind of moving away from your mother?

821
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:09,000
Speaker 5: Absolutely, I mean it was. It was so significant because

822
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 5: you know, there's all these silly metaphors, but it's like

823
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 5: I had gotten the Brass Ring like it was mine

824
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:19,279
Speaker 5: and I got my own show, and I thought, you

825
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 5: are nobody is going to take this away from me,

826
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 5: and I refuse, this is mine, this is my time

827
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 5: right now, I'm doing this and I love it so

828
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:33,160
Speaker 5: much that I'm going to commit a thousand percent every day.

829
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:36,840
Speaker 5: You know, Andre had really helped me separate from my

830
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:40,600
Speaker 5: mother in a loving way. He was very kind to

831
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 5: her and generous and didn't try to make me choose him.

832
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:47,399
Speaker 5: That was always a big thing for men, choose them

833
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:49,719
Speaker 5: over her, and it was never going to work. And

834
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:53,760
Speaker 5: he brought her in. She never, you know, was happy

835
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 5: about any of it. But at that moment when I

836
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 5: left him, I was already in my show.

837
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:01,759
Speaker 6: So I think that that day.

838
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:05,040
Speaker 5: The next day, when I was asked if I wanted

839
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:07,840
Speaker 5: to be on my own show, I was really just

840
00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:11,279
Speaker 5: I thought, Okay, not going to let anybody hold me down,

841
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:14,399
Speaker 5: not my mother, not my husband. I'm going to try

842
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 5: to embrace it all. But I'm going to not lose

843
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 5: sight of this. This is a chance to really show

844
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 5: and be where you feel like you want to and

845
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:28,399
Speaker 5: deserve and can be, you know. And it was just joyous, real,

846
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 5: all right.

847
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 10: And your choice for favorite female performer in a new

848
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:34,399
Speaker 10: television series is.

849
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 6: Brookshields. For suddenly some day.

850
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 10: You have the feeling that people are taking you seriously

851
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:46,719
Speaker 10: now who didn't before, who somehow looked on Brookshields as

852
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:50,239
Speaker 10: almost a character, a creature they didn't really know, but

853
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:54,000
Speaker 10: didn't know had any talent other than she'd gone to Princeton.

854
00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:56,279
Speaker 10: She was bright, she'd gotten a degree in Princeton, but

855
00:45:56,360 --> 00:46:00,319
Speaker 10: they didn't know what she had other than that modeling thing.

856
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:03,799
Speaker 8: Very much so, and that's that that perception, whether it

857
00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:06,879
Speaker 8: was a projection or not, whether it was media hype,

858
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 8: whether it was from a role or from is very understandable.

859
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:12,560
Speaker 8: People were confused about me, and I think to a

860
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:18,359
Speaker 8: certain extent that's that's understandable. But now they at least

861
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 8: have something more tangible to judge, and what they come

862
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 8: away with is now more legitimate. They can see it

863
00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 8: and say if they like it or if they don't

864
00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:29,680
Speaker 8: like it. I can get credit for just being there

865
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 8: and really committing to it, because you can't go through

866
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:35,680
Speaker 8: it easily. So I do feel a sense of respect

867
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 8: that I don't even think I had for myself, and

868
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 8: I don't think had I not had that, I couldn't

869
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 8: have expected it.

870
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:45,640
Speaker 1: What is something that you saw as a negative or

871
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,400
Speaker 1: a low point in your life, but now in hindsight

872
00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 1: you really see it as having launched you.

873
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 5: I think it all God, every negative thing that happened

874
00:46:57,160 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 5: allowed something else to I'm into my life.

875
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:03,719
Speaker 6: I don't have regret like that.

876
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 5: Like I just think, even thinking about all the negativity

877
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 5: that surrounded my early early career, even that although it

878
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:16,400
Speaker 5: was painful and it was hard for me to grapple

879
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:18,800
Speaker 5: and understand it hard for me not to take personally,

880
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:23,880
Speaker 5: gave me such strength over the course of my life.

881
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:25,759
Speaker 6: So it's I.

882
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:29,319
Speaker 5: Mean, of many, like many jobs that I've gotten rejected from,

883
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 5: and you think, oh, it's the worst thing in the world,

884
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:35,920
Speaker 5: and then you find yourself doing something else and it's

885
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 5: a revelation to you, you know.

886
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 6: So, And I'm not like a Pollyanna.

887
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:42,799
Speaker 5: It's just shit happens and there's nothing you can do

888
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:46,840
Speaker 5: about it, you know. I mean, losing my first baby

889
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:49,240
Speaker 5: was probably the worst thing that I could have ever

890
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 5: imagined happening, and then you realize how common it is,

891
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 5: and then it allowed me to.

892
00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 6: Have my other children.

893
00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:01,080
Speaker 5: Not going into detail, but like it actually afforded me

894
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 5: the ability to be able to have children, which is

895
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:07,760
Speaker 5: you don't always learn why it's positive, you know, sometimes

896
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 5: you never learn it. But I do think that every

897
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 5: negative thing that's happened has just if at the very least,

898
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 5: afforded me knowledge about how much of a fighter I am.

899
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 6: You know, and that's a self affirming Yeah.

900
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 1: When you wrote your book down Comes the Rain about

901
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:33,799
Speaker 1: your postpartum depression, it ignited a massive national conversation about depression,

902
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:37,479
Speaker 1: about the state of motherhood if postpartum depression existed as

903
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 1: you were still going through it, which I can't. I

904
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:41,880
Speaker 1: can't imagine.

905
00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:42,759
Speaker 6: Act as a new mother.

906
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:46,000
Speaker 1: Brookshields is being attacked by Tom Cruise.

907
00:48:46,239 --> 00:48:48,240
Speaker 6: The issue for me was really about the children.

908
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 3: Just one month after his infamous couch meltdown, Tom is

909
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:53,920
Speaker 3: targeting Brook.

910
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:55,719
Speaker 8: The thing that I'm saying about Brook is that she

911
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 8: doesn't understand there.

912
00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:01,160
Speaker 6: Was a real change that affected my chemistry. There is

913
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:04,400
Speaker 6: no such thing as a chemical imbalance. It's part of depression.

914
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,839
Speaker 4: Sex between thirteen to twenty percent of women after giving work.

915
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:09,600
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just kind of one of many times

916
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:12,480
Speaker 1: in your life that by you opening up about your

917
00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:17,799
Speaker 1: personal experiences, you have ignited a national conversation. What kind

918
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:19,480
Speaker 1: of emotional toll does that take on you.

919
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:24,880
Speaker 5: I don't think I intended ever to ignite anything bigger

920
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 5: than my own truth, so that I could own it

921
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:30,920
Speaker 5: and that my kids could have the power of knowledge,

922
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 5: you know, So I don't I never set out to say,

923
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 5: like I'm going to change the world. But the way

924
00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 5: I do things is I just I'm so accountable to

925
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:46,759
Speaker 5: my actions, good or bad, that when things really knock

926
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:50,840
Speaker 5: me on my head, I have to understand them and

927
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:54,080
Speaker 5: I have to find out why, and I have to say, like,

928
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:55,480
Speaker 5: why is this happening?

929
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:57,880
Speaker 6: What does it mean? I can't let it kill me.

930
00:49:58,040 --> 00:49:59,000
Speaker 6: I can't let it.

931
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:02,560
Speaker 5: It's like I It's just it's the way I go

932
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 5: into things because I hate losing, you know what I mean,

933
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 5: Like I hate I hate giving up. I guess that's it.

934
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:12,440
Speaker 5: Not losing so much, because I've lost plenty, but like

935
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 5: I hate giving up. I hate being on the bench.

936
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 5: I hate because you know, secretly, I did it more

937
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:24,480
Speaker 5: for myself and for my children, but I knew that

938
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 5: it could help somebody because there was nothing out there

939
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 5: for me to read to feel better myself, and so

940
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:35,839
Speaker 5: I thought, I cannot be the only person in the

941
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:40,759
Speaker 5: world that has experienced this, you know. And so I

942
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:43,600
Speaker 5: think I was not thinking about the large scale, but

943
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:46,800
Speaker 5: I think I was thinking about one or two people

944
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 5: actually reading the book and making a difference to them.

945
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:51,919
Speaker 1: Do you think you'll pivot again?

946
00:50:52,960 --> 00:51:00,400
Speaker 6: Absolutely? Absolutely, I'm so excited. The miracle of all of.

947
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 5: This to me, this documentary and this like in depth

948
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:07,000
Speaker 5: analysis of just like twenty four to seven meters, which

949
00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:08,240
Speaker 5: is a lot.

950
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:12,680
Speaker 6: Is there's more to come, Like I can't.

951
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 5: Believe that I'm still so excited for my future. And

952
00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 5: I'm going to do a movie in Thailand for seven weeks.

953
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:23,680
Speaker 6: You know. I've started my own.

954
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:28,920
Speaker 5: Company all about pivots and beginnings and for women over forty.

955
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 5: Look at anybody, the guy on the street, you meet,

956
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 5: you know, and they've all had a now what moment?

957
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:36,880
Speaker 6: Multiples.

958
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 5: You don't get into college, you don't here, you don't whatever,

959
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:43,319
Speaker 5: you're divorced, or you get a diagnose, whatever those things are.

960
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:47,719
Speaker 5: And I love hearing people how they processed and how

961
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:52,359
Speaker 5: they decided to pivot and to move through it. There

962
00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 5: is more, you know, and I'm thrilled that I'm not

963
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 5: shut off.

964
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:58,880
Speaker 6: To any of it. So I will, I hope I

965
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 6: pivot many more times.

966
00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:03,080
Speaker 1: Brook, thank you so much for joining us.

967
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 6: Thank you.

968
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:08,320
Speaker 1: Brooke lives in New York with her husband and two daughters.

969
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:12,440
Speaker 1: Brooke continues to further the conversation for women over forty

970
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 1: with her company, Beginning is Now through her work she

971
00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:19,200
Speaker 1: has built a growing global community of women who embrace

972
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:23,920
Speaker 1: the many changes in life. Her documentary Pretty Baby premieres

973
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 1: on Hulu and I cannot recommend it enough. To follow Brook.

974
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:34,480
Speaker 1: You can find her on Instagram at Brookshields. Thank you

975
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:38,000
Speaker 1: for listening to this episode of she Pivots, where I

976
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 1: talk with women about how their experiences and significant personal

977
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:47,440
Speaker 1: events led to their pivot and eventually their success. To

978
00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 1: learn more about our guests, follow us on Instagram at

979
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:55,359
Speaker 1: she pivots the podcast. Leave a rating and comment if

980
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:58,400
Speaker 1: you enjoyed this episode to help others learn about it.

981
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:01,840
Speaker 1: A special well thank you to our partner Marie Clair

982
00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:04,080
Speaker 1: and the team that made this episode possible.

983
00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:05,759
Speaker 6: Talk to you next week.

984
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:13,920
Speaker 1: She Pivots is hosted by me Emily Tish Sussman, produced

985
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:17,759
Speaker 1: by Emily eda Veloshik, with sound editing and mixing from

986
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 1: Nina Pollock, and research and planning from Christine Dickinson and

987
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:22,480
Speaker 1: Hannah Cousins.

988
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 3: I endorse te pivots.

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