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Speaker 1: I started the Big Silence Foundation. I wrote a memoir

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Speaker 1: called The Big Silence in order to make sure that

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Speaker 1: the little krenas, the teenagers are the adults today aren't

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Speaker 1: suffering in silence and opening up those conversations and ending

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Speaker 1: the stigma around mental health.

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Speaker 2: What's going on, everyone, Emily Abodi Here You are listening

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Speaker 2: to episode two hundred.

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Speaker 3: And eighty seven of Hurdle, a wellness.

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Speaker 2: Focused podcast where I talk to inspirational people about everything

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Speaker 2: up from their highest hies and toughest moments to essential

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Speaker 2: tips on how to live a healthier, happier, more motivated life.

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Speaker 2: We all go through our fair share of hurdles. My

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Speaker 2: goal through these discussions is to empower you to better

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Speaker 2: navigate yours and move with intention so that you can

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Speaker 2: stride toward your own big potential and of course have

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Speaker 2: some fun along the way. For episode two hundred and

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Speaker 2: eighty seven, I am elated to bring you my conversation

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Speaker 2: with Karina Dawn. You know and love her as the

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Speaker 2: co founder of the wildly popular brand Tone it Up,

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Speaker 2: which has certainly gone through its fair share of innovations

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Speaker 2: and iterations over the past fifteen years since it was

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Speaker 2: founded in two thousand and nine. She's also the founder

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Speaker 2: of The Big Silence, a nonprofit organization that's focused on

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Speaker 2: helping everyone have access to mental health resources and, as

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Speaker 2: she puts it, break the silence.

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Speaker 3: She's also a fellow podcaster.

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Speaker 2: The show goes by that same name, The Big Silence,

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Speaker 2: and I am so, like I said, just happy that

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Speaker 2: we finally had the opportunity to sit down and do this.

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Speaker 2: I feel as though this has been in the work

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Speaker 2: since gosh, like maybe twenty nineteen, so yeah, long time coming.

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Speaker 3: In today's episode, we talk about it all.

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Speaker 2: We talk about Karina's upbringing, what it was like to

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Speaker 2: navigate the hurdles within her home life. We also talk

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Speaker 2: about the chance encounter between her and her now co

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Speaker 2: founder of Tone it Up, Katrina I've also recorded with her.

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Speaker 2: I'll include the link to that episode in the show notes,

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Speaker 2: and how the two friends became roommates and then business partners,

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Speaker 2: and of course what happened from there. She talks to

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Speaker 2: me about the choice to get into a bunch of

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Speaker 2: different facets of the wellness industry. With Tone it Up,

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Speaker 2: they now have everything from workout accessories in an app

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Speaker 2: to protein powder that you can buy at Target and

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Speaker 2: she gets really, really open and vulnerable about her personal

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Speaker 2: experience with mental health, how she has navigated some of

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Speaker 2: the darkest, most difficult moments in her life and come

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Speaker 2: out not only more optimistic, but.

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Speaker 3: Super grateful on the other side.

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Speaker 2: I do want to know that in this episode we

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Speaker 2: do talk about some sensitive topics, including suicide. So if

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Speaker 2: you or someone you know are struggling, you are certainly

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Speaker 2: not alone. Karina talks about some resources in today's episode.

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Speaker 2: I will include those in the show notes. Make sure

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Speaker 2: you're following along with a show over on social is

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Speaker 2: at Hurdle Podcast. I myself am over at Emily a body.

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Speaker 2: I also want to drop a little Easter egg in here.

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Speaker 2: I know Easter is no time soon, but if you

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Speaker 2: are a member of the Super Secret Hurdlers Group, that's

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Speaker 2: not actually all that secret. The link to join it

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Speaker 2: is in the show notes. I want you to go

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Speaker 2: in there and start a conversation. I'm going to choose

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Speaker 2: one person this week that's chiming in, that's embracing our

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Speaker 2: community over there a special something. So head on over

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Speaker 2: to the Super Secret Hurdlers Group.

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Speaker 3: Say something, introduce yourself, ask a question, whatever you need.

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Speaker 2: I've got something special coming to someone asap. With that,

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Speaker 2: let's get to it, let's get to hurt. Like today,

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Speaker 2: I'm sitting down with Karina Down. She is the founder

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Speaker 2: of Tone it Up. She's also the founder of The

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Speaker 2: Big Silence, the mental health and self development podcast, among

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Speaker 2: many other things.

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Speaker 3: How are you doing today?

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Speaker 1: I'm doing great. So happy to finally connect with you.

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Speaker 3: I know, finally.

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Speaker 2: I feel like we've been in the same atmospheres many

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Speaker 2: of times we work together when I was at self.

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Speaker 2: We've connected in New York, and now it's like, might

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Speaker 2: as well bring it full circle into the next chapter

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Speaker 2: of our lives. So much has happened for you since

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Speaker 2: I last saw you before the pandemic, including a move

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Speaker 2: to Austin.

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Speaker 3: How's that treating you?

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Speaker 1: I love it. I always told my husband if I

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Speaker 1: wasn't in Southern California, I wanted to live in Austin

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Speaker 1: because I actually came here for work through Tone it

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Speaker 1: Up when we had that deal with Oakley and we

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Speaker 1: did events here and I was just like, I love it.

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Speaker 1: I told Kat, I'm like, I want to be here

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Speaker 1: one day, and so here we are. In twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 1: we moved here and then I'm going to be back

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Speaker 1: and forth and then you know what happened in twenty twenty. Well,

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Speaker 1: guess we'll just stay.

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Speaker 3: I guess we'll just stay. What is it about Austin

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Speaker 3: that drew you in?

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Speaker 2: I'm always so interested because I don't know if before

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Speaker 2: you went there, if you always thought you'd be a

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Speaker 2: so col girly. But I feel like when I whenever

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Speaker 2: I leave New York, I'm like, Okay, this is nice,

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Speaker 2: but I love New York.

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Speaker 1: What do I love? Well, Okay, I'm from Indiana and

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Speaker 1: I feel like Austins a little La, a little Indiana.

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Speaker 1: But I love music, the food. The community here is incredible.

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Speaker 1: Where I was in LA for twenty years and I

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Speaker 1: came to Austin and the friend circle and the openness

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Speaker 1: and the kindness of everyone here we have just it's

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Speaker 1: a huge community here.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I love that.

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Speaker 2: I love and as you know, having started a massive

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Speaker 2: community yourself, community really can be such a game changer

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Speaker 2: in every aspect. Now many people know your name and

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Speaker 2: associate it with Tone it Up. But where I want

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Speaker 2: to start our conversation today is with the big silence.

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Speaker 2: So tell me a little bit about why you decided

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Speaker 2: to kind of pursue this avenue.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I have always had my heart and my

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Speaker 1: thoughts on mental health for many, many years. I grew

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Speaker 1: up with a mother who was schizophrenic and suffered from depression.

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Speaker 1: And that was back in the nineties when no one

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Speaker 1: was talking about mental health, and myself as a teenager,

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Speaker 1: didn't have any resources, didn't have anyone to talk to,

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Speaker 1: and suffered my own situational depression and for over a

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Speaker 1: decade and definitely drug misuse, suicide survivor. And as I

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Speaker 1: got older, let's say ten years later in my early twenties,

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Speaker 1: was when I found fitness again, because that was what,

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Speaker 1: you know, really saved me. Back then, I remembered when

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Speaker 1: I was a kid, what did I like, When was

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Speaker 1: I happiest? It was running a half marathon. So to

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Speaker 1: get over that hurdle, I started working out again and

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Speaker 1: it really became my therapy from triathlon, surfing, physical movement. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so from there, you know, tone it up. We wanted

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Speaker 1: to share that message about movement and then finally I

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Speaker 1: kind of hid the mental health side for a long

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Speaker 1: time and a story, and then I realized that sharing

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Speaker 1: my story, my mother's story, my family's story, that a

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Speaker 1: lot more people were going through the same experience. So

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Speaker 1: I started the Big Silence Foundation, and I wrote a

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Speaker 1: memoir called The Big Silence in order to make sure

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Speaker 1: that the little Korenas, the teenagers, or the adults today

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Speaker 1: aren't suffering in silence and opening up those conversations and

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Speaker 1: ending the stigma around mental health.

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Speaker 3: The little Karnas.

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Speaker 2: Do you remember how it felt at first to open

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Speaker 2: up about this story, the feelings that were associated with

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Speaker 2: sharing such a big part of your truth that you'd

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Speaker 2: kept hidden for so long.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And it was the stigma even for me. And

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Speaker 1: you know, it was my mother who was sick, it

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Speaker 1: was my family that was suffered so much, but also

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Speaker 1: because of how I reacted as my coping mechanism and

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Speaker 1: then being a fitness superstar. Back then, I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I cannot let anybody know, and like we literally were like, no,

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Speaker 1: we're just wellness people. But then when I slowly started

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Speaker 1: talking about it, maybe just to one person or another

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Speaker 1: person or somebody I tone it up meetup or a

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Speaker 1: community or an event, and then they share their story

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Speaker 1: and then another person, and you realize that the more

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Speaker 1: you talk about it, and you realize you're not alone.

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Speaker 1: Then the community actually becomes larger and more and I

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Speaker 1: felt for me personally, I felt a freedom. I felt

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Speaker 1: like I wasn't hiding anymore, and I felt real good.

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Speaker 1: It's part of the going to therapy and talking about

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Speaker 1: it and then wanting to, you know, share with others

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Speaker 1: like it's going to be okay.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I just watched the new Dan Levy movie on Netflix,

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Speaker 2: Good Grief, and in it he describes dealing with his

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Speaker 2: grief as like he is carrying he is swimming in

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Speaker 2: the water and he has all of his clothes on

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Speaker 2: and he is incapable of taking them off, and it

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Speaker 2: feels so heavy. And that's exactly what I would like

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Speaker 2: in going through depression and not speaking about it to anyone.

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Speaker 2: It's as though you're harboring this secret that truly impacts

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Speaker 2: absolutely everything you're doing, but you can't shed light on

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Speaker 2: that because but you're scared to shed light on that publicly,

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Speaker 2: even if it is just to one or two people.

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Speaker 1: Well, a few things on if we talk about grief.

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Speaker 1: Number one, you don't want to burden someone else, or

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Speaker 1: someone else might not understand if they haven't gone through grief.

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Speaker 1: And in this movie, in particular, he lost his husband,

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Speaker 1: by the way, a big Shitz Creek fan over here,

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Speaker 1: so yea. But yeah, grief, Yeah, it is very heavy

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Speaker 1: and if you're doing it alone and you'll just drown

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Speaker 1: in it. And we're here to support each other. So

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Speaker 1: I think it's so important no matter what you're feeling, sadness, happiness, anxiety,

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Speaker 1: it's okay to talk about it. It's a normal part

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Speaker 1: of life. We're all going to experience.

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Speaker 3: Grief, yeah, for sure.

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Speaker 2: And you know, it was interesting because you said just

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Speaker 2: now when you were talking about integrating into the Tone

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Speaker 2: it Up community and that it was your mom's difficulties

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Speaker 2: that she was struggling with, but you were struggling with

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Speaker 2: them too. Clearly you mentioned having almost a decade long

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Speaker 2: period of dealing with waves of depression yourself during that

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Speaker 2: decade of time.

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Speaker 3: Can you talk to me about what it felt like

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Speaker 3: going in and.

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Speaker 2: Out of that process, the experience that you had, and

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Speaker 2: how you navigated the ebbs and flows.

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Speaker 1: I was drowning period. I just tried to escape. If

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Speaker 1: you're a teenager and you're still developing and you don't

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Speaker 1: have anyone to talk to, you feel very alone because

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Speaker 1: of the stigma I'm not going to go to my friends,

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Speaker 1: my teenage friends and be like, hey, can I talk

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Speaker 1: to you about this? Therapy was not really a thing

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Speaker 1: that was normal for kids. How did I navigate I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't say I navigated it well, but I survived it,

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Speaker 1: and that's what I'm grateful for.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there is also so much stigma about

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Speaker 2: the methods that we use to navigate trouble.

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Speaker 3: And you want to do it quote unquote the.

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Speaker 2: Right way, and you're worried about not progressing fast enough

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Speaker 2: or at the right pace, and in actuality, any progress

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Speaker 2: is progress. Showing up or even googling how to speak

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Speaker 2: to a local health professional, that's progress, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Diet there's a crisis text line. You can text hello

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Speaker 1: to seven four one, seven four one, and that is

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Speaker 1: a step, like just and you get three twenty four

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Speaker 1: hour crisis counseling. Like that's a huge step. And there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of We've had a text sign with the

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Speaker 1: big silence too, and a lot of community members actually

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Speaker 1: used it. I don't know who it is. It's completely anonymous.

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Speaker 1: We can just tell like when someone uses it. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: little steps, you know, and then also after the little steps,

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Speaker 1: knowing like if we're speaking about grief in particular, grief

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Speaker 1: is not linear. And I'll say, you lose a loved one,

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Speaker 1: take your time, take your time. If you're going through

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Speaker 1: a breakup, a job loss, you don't have to just

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Speaker 1: pick back up and smile it. It's just every day

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Speaker 1: do something, maybe a little step further, a little step further,

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Speaker 1: and a little step further, and if you fall back

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Speaker 1: a little, it's okay. We just we keep going. So

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Speaker 1: I would say, not passing any judgment on yourself for anything.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so important.

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Speaker 2: Now, I believe I was listening to your podcast the

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Speaker 2: other day with your husband, and you were talking about

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Speaker 2: how you've been able to through the podcast, touch and

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Speaker 2: change more than eighteen thousand people's lives, which is such

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Speaker 2: an amazing statistic.

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Speaker 3: With that, you.

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Speaker 2: Also have helped people and maybe a little bit different

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Speaker 2: of a way with tone it up. Talk to me

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Speaker 2: about the difference in that because clearly, like I said,

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Speaker 2: they are two very different concepts.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So the eighteen thousand is through our Therapy for

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Speaker 1: All program and where you can apply for therapy because

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Speaker 1: a lot of time therapists don't accept health insurance or

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Speaker 1: your health insurance doesn't pay for therapy. So that number

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Speaker 1: of eighteen was in twenty twenty three. Of how many

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Speaker 1: people we could help through that and our crisis text

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Speaker 1: line and our resources, the podcast is millions. So just

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Speaker 1: wanted to shut it. Yeah, and then what was the

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Speaker 1: question then?

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Speaker 2: So the question was how does it feel for you

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Speaker 2: helping in the two different ways, Like I said, tone

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Speaker 2: it up being so different than the Big silence.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say tone it up in the Big

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Speaker 1: Silence in terms of helping people is actually very similar.

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Speaker 1: I've discovered about myself. I like to kind of give

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Speaker 1: back and have passion and what I do. So think

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Speaker 1: about tone it Up and the community and the friendships

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Speaker 1: that were made, and we're getting women to move their

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Speaker 1: body and feel good and that already affects your mental health,

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Speaker 1: so that goes into it helps with relationships. Helped with this,

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Speaker 1: I just felt, helps you be a mother, better parent, friend,

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Speaker 1: you know. And then I think the one thing that

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Speaker 1: was missing was really just opening up about the mental

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Speaker 1: health side, because that's another way to help each other

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Speaker 1: and to help community, and both ways from moving your

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Speaker 1: body and movement is medicine. Meditation is medicine, and mental

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Speaker 1: health is so important, So I don't think you it's

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Speaker 1: got to be a full free, like full circle of wellness.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I hardly can remember now when Tone

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Speaker 2: It Up wasn't a household name in fitness. I believe

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Speaker 2: you started it in two thousand and nine. It's been

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Speaker 2: about fifteen years of this brand, which has evolved in

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Speaker 2: its own rate. How does it feel for you as

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Speaker 2: you grow as well personally along with this brand? I mean,

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Speaker 2: it certainly had to inform the decisions that you make

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Speaker 2: with it, how you show up personally and professionally alongside

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Speaker 2: of it.

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Speaker 3: Super curious about that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, fifteen years. I am so proud of that. That's

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Speaker 1: huge and so especially for us to Tone it Up

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Speaker 1: to be at the forefront of our generation of fitness,

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Speaker 1: the social fitness. And there has been evolutions and there

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Speaker 1: should be. If I was the same Krena at twenty seven,

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Speaker 1: I would I would question myself. There has to be growth, right,

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Speaker 1: And we all grow up, we get married, we build families,

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Speaker 1: we move, we evolve in being better role models for

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Speaker 1: our community. So the evolution is easy for me and

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Speaker 1: I'm proud of the evolution of myself of Tone it Up.

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Speaker 1: Is it easy? Having a company for fifteen years. Heck no, no.

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Speaker 1: Is it easy to be married for at fifteen years?

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Speaker 1: Is it easy to have any job over fifteen years? No,

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Speaker 1: there's always the struggles with that, but we've sustained and

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Speaker 1: it's I think it's a It's a huge accomplishment when

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Speaker 1: no matter what happens in life, I will always be

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Speaker 1: proud to be a founder of Tone it Up.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: You know, I think a lot of people are familiar

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Speaker 2: with tonin Up's origin story, you meeting Katrina at the

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Speaker 2: gym shortly after getting out of a breakup. I believe

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Speaker 2: it was on a Friday night, if I'm not mistaken,

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Speaker 2: and the two of you taking to one another, living

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Speaker 2: together and starting this company together. Now, Rather than go

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Speaker 2: into all the particulars of that, I'm most curious if

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Speaker 2: you can reflect about what the most difficult part was

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Speaker 2: at the very beginning. As a founder myself, I feel

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Speaker 2: frustrated at times when I am in this place where

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Speaker 2: I feel as though I just want to yell, can

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Speaker 2: someone just help me with this?

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Speaker 3: Did you experience that?

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Speaker 1: You know, there definitely was difficulty, but we always said

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Speaker 1: that it was great that there were two of us

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Speaker 1: because we could easily bounce back off, and we both

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Speaker 1: had our different strengths that we could bring to the table.

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Speaker 1: And so I would say the beginning, it was really

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Speaker 1: fun and it was it was just the two of

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Speaker 1: us on a beach with a camera and we're just

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Speaker 1: having fun making videos and going on YouTube, and you know,

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Speaker 1: then this was before Instagram, and so I would say

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Speaker 1: the most difficult thing in the beginning was when we

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Speaker 1: had bigger ideas of what we wanted to do, but

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Speaker 1: we didn't have the cash flow to do it, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, we want to do this,

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Speaker 1: we want to do these events, we want to create

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Speaker 1: these products and protein and you know, we never raised

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Speaker 1: any money until twenty eighteen, and so we did it

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Speaker 1: all on our own. But I don't know, I feel

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Speaker 1: like in the beginning years have toned it up. It

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Speaker 1: was just a good old time. What about you us

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Speaker 1: like your I want to hear your beginning of.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, for me, it's just it's a completely

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Speaker 2: different thing and a lot less I would say formal.

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Speaker 2: But I also think that we as entrepreneurs, at least

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Speaker 2: meet myself, tend to downplay like the awesomeness of the

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Speaker 2: things that I'm creating, but I mean since the beginning

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Speaker 2: with Hurdle, like, I've been building this thing on my own,

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Speaker 2: and so I'm really looking forward to transforming that this

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Speaker 2: year and shifting that this year, and bringing people onto

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Speaker 2: my team this year, and expanding in ways that you

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Speaker 2: at Tone it Up have already expanded with live events

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Speaker 2: and maybe eventually some sort of a product A little

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Speaker 2: teaser here, But I would say the most difficult part

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Speaker 2: for me is being told by others who I'm hoping

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Speaker 2: can facilitate my hustle and facilitate the things that I'm excited.

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Speaker 3: About, just not yet.

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Speaker 2: And what I've come to realize now at this point

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Speaker 2: seven years in is understanding the benefit that comes with

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Speaker 2: taking no with grace and being kind in the face

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Speaker 2: of no. I think that it's very easy to internalize

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Speaker 2: things or feel rejected when more often than not that

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Speaker 2: no is coming because it's not the right time or

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Speaker 2: it's just the way that business has to be right now,

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Speaker 2: And that doesn't mean that those opportunities aren't going to

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Speaker 2: come back around at some point, and in many cases

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Speaker 2: for myself, thankfully they have. So I think learning to

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Speaker 2: take no with kindness and grace is probably the biggest.

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Speaker 3: Lesson I've learned over the last seven years.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say in the beginning, I turned up

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Speaker 1: when we started hearing no that was it? Was what what?

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Speaker 2: Because I mean you were talking about the highlight reel

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Speaker 2: that is Instagram and that it wasn't even around for

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Speaker 2: you yet. But these days, when people are starting something,

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Speaker 2: they're so used to being exposed to these what seem

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Speaker 2: like overnight success stories and the the good, the good,

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Speaker 2: the good, and they don't realize how many knows happen

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Speaker 2: and how much more frequently people are told no than yes.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah and now. But then don't worry. You get

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Speaker 1: used to it. And people were like no, You're like, okay,

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Speaker 1: no problems, speculator, you.

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Speaker 3: Have a good one. Yeah. I can totally relate to that.

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Speaker 2: So then fast forward, we're talking about the evolution of

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Speaker 2: the brand. Tone it up and you said that you

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Speaker 2: finally did fundraise in twenty eighteen.

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Speaker 3: How was that experience for you?

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Speaker 1: Wasn't we didn't we brought on private equity, So I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm very transparent. We didn't talk about it for many,

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Speaker 1: many years. I don't really know why, but you know,

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Speaker 1: we personally grew a community for until twenty eighteen. What

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Speaker 1: is I'm at almost nine years And it got to

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Speaker 1: the point where we were in such a growth that

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Speaker 1: we were actually we were in Target, we were going

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Speaker 1: in other retailers. The app. It's very expensive. We had,

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Speaker 1: you know, all the employees and we were there were

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Speaker 1: like oly, shit, like we're about to run out of

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Speaker 1: money to not be able to keep going. And this

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Speaker 1: happens with a lot of companies, right Like when you're

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Speaker 1: going up, up up up, it's hard to maintain. So

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Speaker 1: we're like, okay, let's let's do it. So we took

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Speaker 1: on private equity and still majority.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Wow, I can't even like that. That in itself is

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Speaker 2: like an entirely intimidating thing. And I think for so

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Speaker 2: many it is such a it's such unknown territory that

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Speaker 2: many would rather fail or step back than step into

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Speaker 2: that unknown.

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Speaker 1: It is scary. And I want to go back to

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Speaker 1: your question about in the beginning too, and I was

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Speaker 1: just thinking the hardest thing was we didn't go to

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Speaker 1: business school. We learned. I mean there's the University of YouTube,

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Speaker 1: of Google, of you know, everything about running a business

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Speaker 1: from the back end to the contracts to the creative

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Speaker 1: to the editing like it was everything. So I would

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Speaker 1: say that's one of the hardest things is learning in

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Speaker 1: the hours, but then going back to the unknown again

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Speaker 1: when you're like, oh wow, I can bring on a partner.

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Speaker 1: I had to learn about that. What does that mean,

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Speaker 1: what does that look like? The pros and cons of it.

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Speaker 2: So and looping this back into our mental health discussion,

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Speaker 2: what so many people see is two good friends on

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Speaker 2: the beach working out.

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Speaker 3: They don't see all.

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Speaker 2: The stuff that happens behind the scenes, the learning, the

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Speaker 2: going to quote unquote the school of YouTube, staying up

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Speaker 2: all hours of the night to produce and edit videos, networking,

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Speaker 2: all of these knows like, there's so much that people

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Speaker 2: aren't seeing. But then what you start to see is

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Speaker 2: perhaps the criticisms or the feedback on yourself. Talk to

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Speaker 2: me about how your evolution has been when it comes

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Speaker 2: to hearing feedback, especially unsolicited feedback about the products that

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Speaker 2: you are creating and candidly about yourself.

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Speaker 1: Always unsolicited, the negative feedback. But hey, you know what

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Speaker 1: I always say, if they're still talking, But that's great,

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Speaker 1: But you know, how do I deal with that? In

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Speaker 1: the beginning, I mean, I feel like my entire career,

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Speaker 1: even pre toned up was fa face forward, right, But

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Speaker 1: it was before social media, so you don't really see anything.

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Speaker 1: And when I was a tri athlete and on all

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Speaker 1: the magazine covers or doing campaigns and stuff like No One,

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Speaker 1: you didn't know if people were talking about you. But

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Speaker 1: social media really opened up that can of forms where

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Speaker 1: everyone felt like they could say something about you. At first,

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Speaker 1: I was confused, was like, what why are people saying

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Speaker 1: mean things? But you realize, you know, sometimes it's I

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Speaker 1: believe it is a form of projection and managing it.

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Speaker 1: You try not to look at it, but or just

438
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 1: pray for them. I don't know, I mean, it's do

439
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,199
Speaker 1: you get people saying mean things about you? Yeah?

440
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 3: For sure.

441
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:56,400
Speaker 2: I remember a couple of years ago I was prepping

442
00:24:56,480 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 2: for a big live podcast in Boston Marathon weekend with

443
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 2: Des Linden, and for some reason I decided that this

444
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:09,199
Speaker 2: particular day was the day to google Emily a Body

445
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 2: in quotations and then Reddit. Never again will I ever

446
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:17,680
Speaker 2: do that? I learned real quick. I read one thing.

447
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 2: I was not exactly the happiest version of myself.

448
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,560
Speaker 3: I cried a little in the.

449
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 2: Uber on my way to the event, and then I said,

450
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:31,120
Speaker 2: this doesn't serve me. We've opened the door, we will

451
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:31,920
Speaker 2: close the door.

452
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 3: And that's that, you know.

453
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 1: And it's really sad too for people who in our industry,

454
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 1: who are trying to make the world a better place.

455
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 1: I should really just raise each other up. And it

456
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,639
Speaker 1: was I think the most disappointing thing for me was

457
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,120
Speaker 1: because Tone it Up is a community of non judgment

458
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 1: and women supporting women. I don't bring that here. Do

459
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 1: not bring that here. Yeah, And then going back of

460
00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 1: the evolution of tone it Up and self and you know,

461
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 1: when people are like, well you've changed, it's not like

462
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 1: in twenty twelve, how you how you were? I'm like,

463
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,960
Speaker 1: thank god, thanks.

464
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,399
Speaker 2: But changed in what sense, like aside from physically, Like

465
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 2: there is it that your personality is changing?

466
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 3: Like what is the critique?

467
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,919
Speaker 1: Thank god? I was super super shy back then, and

468
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 1: now I like say anything that I want. So then

469
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 1: people like, what's wrong with Carena, Maybe she's just talking more,

470
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,640
Speaker 1: you know. Well, I also think because I started talking

471
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 1: about my story and mental health and my mother, a

472
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 1: lot of questions of like is Koreina okay? Is she

473
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 1: on drugs? Because she's never liked, you know, just you know,

474
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:48,719
Speaker 1: stuff like that or you know, and I I don't know,

475
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,880
Speaker 1: it's silly. I don't mean. We've spent way too much

476
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,640
Speaker 1: time even talking about that. But you know, I think

477
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,160
Speaker 1: the question was how do you deal with it? It's

478
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 1: you have a good way to shut the door, move

479
00:26:58,040 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 1: on and keep doing good in the world and keep

480
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 1: your mission and hope that whoever's feeling that they need

481
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:09,199
Speaker 1: to say negative things about you or another woman or

482
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 1: any human that's doing great in the world, hopefully they

483
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:16,720
Speaker 1: can reflect back and they can turn their negativity into positivity.

484
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:17,440
Speaker 3: Yeah.

485
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,879
Speaker 2: I hear what you're saying about projection, and I also

486
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 2: really am on the same page with you when it

487
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:27,120
Speaker 2: comes to sticking with your mission. And if people are

488
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 2: saying something, then more often than not, that means that

489
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 2: you are helping someone else, because it's pretty common for

490
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 2: us to just listen to the negativity instead of soaking

491
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 2: in all the good things that everyone is saying around us.

492
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:46,879
Speaker 2: I heard you talk about your experience with your mother.

493
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,120
Speaker 2: There was a point before she passed that you were

494
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,479
Speaker 2: speaking to her and she apologized to you for what

495
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 2: you had to deal with, and in response, you said

496
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 2: what I had to deal with and this has made

497
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 2: me the resilient person that I am today. Talk to

498
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 2: us a little bit about how you feel like that

499
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 2: has impacted you in the long haul.

500
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. So I was with my mom in the last

501
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 1: three days of her life when she was in hospice,

502
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,520
Speaker 1: and she was your I think you're talking about when

503
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 1: I was talking about her saying regret, I regret, regret, regret.

504
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,360
Speaker 1: And I sat there and I was like, Mom, We're

505
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:23,440
Speaker 1: not We're not going out this way. Let's you shouldn't

506
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 1: regret being a bad mom and doing this. It's not

507
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 1: your fault when you have a mental illness, it's a disease.

508
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 1: She could not control it, and so I told her,

509
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 1: you know that I'm proud of the daughter that she raised,

510
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 1: even though she couldn't quite be there. It made me

511
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 1: a really strong person. And you used the word resilience,

512
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 1: and I love that word because I've discovered and could

513
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 1: be for you and many people listening out there. When

514
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 1: someone says what is your superpower? Mine is resilience.

515
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:59,600
Speaker 2: That perspective is really beautiful and I'd imagine that it

516
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 2: was it one that you had from the get go.

517
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 2: Can you recall a time where maybe you were a

518
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 2: little bit less graceful about your circumstance, maybe you were

519
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:14,400
Speaker 2: angry or did feel emotional about the situation that you

520
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 2: were in. And maybe when was the inflection point from

521
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 2: point A to point.

522
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 1: B when I started educating myself on mental illness and

523
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 1: schizophrenia and realizing it wasn't her and that wasn't who she,

524
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: her soul was, it was the disease, and then learning

525
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 1: empathy so then you can go away from that resentment

526
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 1: like Mom, you ruined my life and this and like

527
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 1: you know, a little kid crying and being so angry

528
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,959
Speaker 1: to realize I think that's the number one thing when

529
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 1: you're dealing with any kind of mental illness, if your

530
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:53,800
Speaker 1: loved one has any condition, is empathy. And even when

531
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,520
Speaker 1: I got married to Bobby, we'd went to NAMI Has

532
00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:00,239
Speaker 1: Family to family courses because he was just like what

533
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 1: he hadn't spent much time with my mom, and then

534
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 1: she became basically we became her caretakers, and he was

535
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 1: getting angry and frustrated. So we took this thirteen week

536
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 1: course that teaches family members how to have empathy and

537
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 1: teaches all about the different medications and fifty and fifties,

538
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 1: and tools for family members who have loved ones who

539
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,480
Speaker 1: are struggling for mental illness. And they even teach like

540
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: physical fitness, and this is an in person support group

541
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 1: like meditation. I'm like, yeah, like you know, it's like

542
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:36,160
Speaker 1: the basic needs, get in nature, it's all of these things.

543
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 1: So it's empathy is the biggest, biggest thing to get

544
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 1: rid of that anger.

545
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 3: Yeah.

546
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:46,800
Speaker 2: Wow, what a beautiful love between you and your partner

547
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 2: to be willing to garner this education so that the

548
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 2: two of you could move through this together.

549
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 3: That's really special.

550
00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, shout out to Bobby because it has. It was

551
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 1: not easy and he, you know, I was very busy

552
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 1: where sometimes I couldn't be with her if we had emergencies,

553
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:08,640
Speaker 1: he would go and you know, make sure to take

554
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 1: care of her. He was a really good partner during

555
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 1: that time.

556
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, it still is and still is.

557
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 2: What would you say that experience did for your relationship

558
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:21,600
Speaker 2: with your husband?

559
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 1: I put a lot of pressure. Yeah, you know, can

560
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 1: you imagine you just get married and you're like off,

561
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 1: we got married in Hawaii and then we go to

562
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:34,360
Speaker 1: island hopping on a honeymoon and we're like ah, and

563
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 1: then we get home in La and kel and Manhattan

564
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 1: Beach and get an email two weeks later that my

565
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 1: mom was in the hospital because she kind of she

566
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:45,760
Speaker 1: was in and out of my life. She had ghosted

567
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 1: me again. But and then we were just fully in

568
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 1: on it to you know, help save and extend her life.

569
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,960
Speaker 1: So it made us maybe not focus on each other

570
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 1: as much as a newlywed couple would have. So we

571
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 1: became caretakers and it's a lot of work, and so

572
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 1: it definitely we've made it through, and we've had to

573
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 1: go with therapy, which is normal. Everyone's like, oh my gosh,

574
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 1: you've in therapy, and I'm like, yeah, of course, let's

575
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 1: talk it out. And you know a lot of men

576
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 1: don't talk. And he had never been in therapy before,

577
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:30,200
Speaker 1: and he went by himself, and then we went together

578
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 1: and it's just after therapy, he's like, I love this,

579
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 1: you know.

580
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 2: You mean we can openly express our emotions and talk

581
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 2: to one another about how we feel and have progressive

582
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 2: of communication.

583
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 3: That's such a crazy idea.

584
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, but such a testament to the benefit of communication, right,

585
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 2: because oftentimes, even though you can have like the most

586
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,959
Speaker 2: wonderful and loving and supportive relationship with your partner. But

587
00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 2: sometimes it just needs to get to a place where

588
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 2: you have what might be deemed like a safe space.

589
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 2: It's like a specific time to speak about whatever is

590
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 2: on your mind and go through that in a way

591
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 2: that feels supported.

592
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, and a therapist can help you with your at

593
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:19,479
Speaker 1: home communication, you know, And I mean we're always learning.

594
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 1: That's great. That's the great thing.

595
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 2: Taking a break from the show today to talk to

596
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 2: you about something that truly has changed my life and

597
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,800
Speaker 2: how I feel in my body.

598
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:37,480
Speaker 3: Listen. Taking care of your.

599
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 2: Health it isn't always easy, but it should at least

600
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 2: be simple, and that's why for the last five something years,

601
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:49,480
Speaker 2: I've been drinking ag one every day, no exceptions. It's

602
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 2: just one scoop mixed in water once a day, every day,

603
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 2: and it makes me feel energized and focused and strong

604
00:33:57,160 --> 00:34:01,400
Speaker 2: and candidly really ready to take on the day. That's

605
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 2: because each serving of ag one delivers my daily dose

606
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:08,360
Speaker 2: of vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics and more. It's a

607
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 2: powerful healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. Listen, I noticed

608
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 2: a long time ago that I need more nutrients support

609
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 2: than I used to, especially with training and traveling, working out.

610
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 3: Having long days. I need all the help I can get.

611
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:29,760
Speaker 2: But ag one covers my bases with high quality ingredients

612
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:35,360
Speaker 2: like pre and probiotics, adaptogens, antiaccidants, and whole food source nutrients.

613
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 2: I know if I drink it daily, I'm going to

614
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:42,359
Speaker 2: feel that extra boost. If there's one product I had

615
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 2: to recommend to elevate your health, it's ag one and

616
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:49,400
Speaker 2: that is exactly why I've partnered with them for so long.

617
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 2: So if you want to take ownership of your own health,

618
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 2: start with ag one. Try ag one and get a

619
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,359
Speaker 2: free one year supply of vitamin D three, K two,

620
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 2: and five free ag one travel packs with your first purchase,

621
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 2: exclusively at drinkag one dot com slash hurdle. That's drinkag

622
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 2: one dot com slash hurdle.

623
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 3: Go ahead, check it out.

624
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:27,839
Speaker 2: I know we've kind of timelined mostly up until the pandemic.

625
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 2: Talk to me about what happened for you come March

626
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:32,840
Speaker 2: of twenty twenty.

627
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:37,840
Speaker 1: March twenty twenty, we had to tone it up. Event

628
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:43,440
Speaker 1: we were headlining. I think it was PopSugar down in

629
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 1: LA and it was just the talk of C word

630
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 1: and so Kat and are like Okay, we won't do

631
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 1: a meet and greet, and so anyways, we do the

632
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 1: event and then I fly home to Austin and I

633
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 1: have like a three hour layover and somehow my gate

634
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:02,399
Speaker 1: got changed Internet National and that didn't go well once

635
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 1: I got home, trusting, but how did it change? It

636
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 1: changed a lot, I mean professionally, personally. I mean there's

637
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 1: a lot of shifts in tone it up. You know,

638
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 1: we weren't getting together in the office. I mean everyone

639
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 1: was working from home. It was good, you know, we

640
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 1: had the fitness app and we did tons of live

641
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:28,479
Speaker 1: workout videos to keep everyone's you know, just energy and

642
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 1: mental health going and staying connected. I think that was

643
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 1: really important during that time for a couple of years,

644
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,800
Speaker 1: let's see. And then yeah, we actually closed our office

645
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 1: in Manhattan Beach too. It's just everyone's remote now even now.

646
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:47,160
Speaker 1: So things shifted. We had to make different shifts like that.

647
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 1: But with my personal life was it was good. I know,

648
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:55,480
Speaker 1: it was easy for Bobby and I to you know,

649
00:36:56,400 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 1: be on quarantine together. You know, there was a lot

650
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 1: of struggle in some relationships during that time. Many many

651
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 1: people struggled, but I know we know how to give

652
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 1: each other space. So, yeah, that was a really weird

653
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 1: time in our world.

654
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:15,280
Speaker 3: A really weird time.

655
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 1: It's a weird time. I don't even it seems like

656
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:21,719
Speaker 1: so long ago. Like life is so different in the

657
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 1: way that we do business, in the way just everything.

658
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:27,520
Speaker 3: Truly truly.

659
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 2: You you talked about closing your Manhattan Beach office. You

660
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 2: also talked about the decision to show up and do

661
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:41,960
Speaker 2: live workouts throughout that time. Something I always like to

662
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:45,439
Speaker 2: talk to people who are energy dealers, as I will

663
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:48,400
Speaker 2: call people like you and myself who show up in large,

664
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,400
Speaker 2: in big ways for their community, is how it felt

665
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 2: for you to be dealing that energy while there was

666
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 2: so much, so much uncertainty within your own life. How

667
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:01,760
Speaker 2: did you at time make sure that you could also

668
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:04,759
Speaker 2: take care of yourself so that you could then show

669
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:05,879
Speaker 2: up for others.

670
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've learned how to do that. I'm an extroverted introvert, yeah,

671
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:17,400
Speaker 1: and if that's the term, but I love obviously talking

672
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 1: to people and meeting people and doing in person events.

673
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 1: And you know, I went on my book tour in

674
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 1: twenty twenty, twenty twenty one. But I just know, like

675
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 1: if I'm giving that energy, which I love doing, I

676
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: know that afterwards, I'm by myself, and that's that's what

677
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,439
Speaker 1: I do. I like when we went on that big

678
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:42,240
Speaker 1: Tone It Up tour in twenty seventeen, it's little sleep,

679
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 1: going fifteen cities and thirty days. Afterwards, I just I

680
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 1: like to go to my hotel room and order room service.

681
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.

682
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 2: And I think getting to a place where you understand

683
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 2: what routines actually fill you up is so special. I'm

684
00:38:56,719 --> 00:39:00,359
Speaker 2: very much the same after a big event, a big

685
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 2: hosting opportunity, anything where there's like some sort of a

686
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,959
Speaker 2: community meet up if it's local to New York City.

687
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 2: I have my favorite restaurant that I go to and

688
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 2: I bring a notebook and I sit there with a

689
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:14,319
Speaker 2: glass of red wine and my favorite pasta and just

690
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 2: debrief alone. And that's my time to just reclaim my

691
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:22,320
Speaker 2: own space. So I really really resonate.

692
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 1: With that, yeah, and not feeling guilty for it. And

693
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 1: you know, sometime's been like what Karina doesn't want to

694
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:31,680
Speaker 1: go out to the club in Miami after the retreat.

695
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:35,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I don't no hatred towards any of you,

696
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:39,760
Speaker 1: anybody here, but Karina's got to go sit in silence.

697
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 3: She's gonna go to night night.

698
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, talk to us a little bit about boundary setting. Then,

699
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:49,280
Speaker 2: For someone who may struggle with keeping their boundaries, knowing

700
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,480
Speaker 2: what feels good but having a hard time articulating that

701
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:55,759
Speaker 2: to others for fear that it might upset someone, what

702
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 2: advice do you have for someone about setting smart boundaries.

703
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:07,960
Speaker 1: Yes. I used to let myself just say yes to everything, yes, yes, yes,

704
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:11,719
Speaker 1: and then I in therapy, actually probably six years ago,

705
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,479
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't want to do these things

706
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:16,879
Speaker 1: and I keep saying yes, not that I they're all

707
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 1: great or sometimes I don't, but that I'm uncomfortable with

708
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 1: that situation. And I had to learn boundaries of just

709
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 1: saying no and it's okay and just practice it. I

710
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:30,439
Speaker 1: would say, it's really hard the first time you say

711
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 1: I think the first time I said no, I was

712
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:37,399
Speaker 1: like like shaking my throat closed up, like I don't

713
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:41,880
Speaker 1: want to like no, it's just I'm not feeling like

714
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 1: that's what I want to do for this holiday. So

715
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:49,839
Speaker 1: I love you, but it's just not not in my cards,

716
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 1: you know. And then it gets easier and then it

717
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:54,879
Speaker 1: could upset someone else, But that's okay. You know, you're

718
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 1: not being a jerk. It's just that the them being

719
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:02,319
Speaker 1: upset is not because of you. And so then the

720
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 1: more you can set boundaries or say hey, stand up

721
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 1: for something like hey, maybe we just do this project

722
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:10,239
Speaker 1: this way, it makes I think this is, you know,

723
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 1: just speaking up for yourself. You know. Even I have

724
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:17,720
Speaker 1: a lot of friends who come through Austin and people

725
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:20,560
Speaker 1: I know and you know, want to do a lot

726
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:22,439
Speaker 1: of stuff, and sometimes I'll just be like, like even

727
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:25,120
Speaker 1: recently and like I just got done with the holiday

728
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:28,040
Speaker 1: season and I was go, go go for like six weeks.

729
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:30,240
Speaker 1: I'm going to do nothing this weekend.

730
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it doesn't change that I care about you

731
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 2: in this instance. It doesn't mean that I don't. It

732
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 2: just means that this is what I need to do

733
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 2: for myself right now. And I hope that you can

734
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,680
Speaker 2: understand that. And I believe that in the relationships that

735
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 2: really matter, they do understand that. Right Your people are

736
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 2: never going to question whether or not you care about

737
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 2: them or your intentions. And that's something that my college

738
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:58,879
Speaker 2: roommates said to me once when I was struggling with

739
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:02,160
Speaker 2: a newer friendship didn't feel so easy and made me

740
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:05,080
Speaker 2: feel like I wasn't enough and she said that to me,

741
00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 2: She said, I know you, and I know your heart,

742
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 2: and I will never doubt that you have the best

743
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 2: intentions for me and our relationship. That doesn't mean that

744
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,920
Speaker 2: I'm always going to agree with everything you say or

745
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,920
Speaker 2: everything that you want to do or understand one hundred

746
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:23,479
Speaker 2: percent every time where you're coming from, but that means

747
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 2: I'm always going to support you in whatever you decide

748
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:28,320
Speaker 2: is best for yourself.

749
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:32,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great, And there's we always talk about burnout

750
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 1: with work or something, but there is a thing called

751
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 1: social burnout as well, so especially after holidays and families

752
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 1: and friends like that. That is a term I google.

753
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's totally a term.

754
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:50,280
Speaker 2: I'm also guilty of not using no as a complete

755
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 2: sentence although it is and I do get the people

756
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 2: pleaser in me. It's like no, but and then I

757
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:01,279
Speaker 2: like offer some sort of a solution or something of

758
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:04,600
Speaker 2: the sort. And I would say that in twenty twenty three,

759
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:08,359
Speaker 2: I definitely did get better at allowing no.

760
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:09,640
Speaker 3: To be a full sentence.

761
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:15,399
Speaker 1: That's so funny. And last Christmas twenty twenty two were

762
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:17,840
Speaker 1: Bobby and I were in Tell Your Ride and he

763
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,640
Speaker 1: bought me a shirt there and it says no, it

764
00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 1: is a complete sentence. He's like, this is you. You

765
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:26,880
Speaker 1: need this.

766
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 2: I would imagine that we talked about fifteen years have

767
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 2: toned it up. I would imagine that burnout certainly is

768
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:36,239
Speaker 2: something that you've experienced a few times.

769
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 3: Yeah.

770
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:40,719
Speaker 1: Absolutely. I had this discussion on my podcast with the

771
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:45,680
Speaker 1: guest a few weeks ago. And her career was in

772
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 1: dance and mine is in fitness, and she's on dance

773
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 1: from the Stars, in the stage and like all this stuff.

774
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:54,360
Speaker 1: But there comes this time where you're like wow, like

775
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 1: it's so much and in the public eye all the time,

776
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 1: and you know, she quit dancing for a while, and

777
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 1: then she came back and she's like, I felt like

778
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 1: it became a job my passion and why I did

779
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:12,360
Speaker 1: something I wasn't enjoying anymore. And I definitely and I

780
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:16,839
Speaker 1: allowed myself when you talk about Reddit, but when I

781
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 1: decided like maybe I wasn't working out as much, but

782
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:22,239
Speaker 1: I was also going through a lot being a caretaker

783
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 1: with my mom and this, and I was just burnout,

784
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:30,479
Speaker 1: burnt caretaking, burnout, her work, burnout, you know, everything. And

785
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:34,360
Speaker 1: I allowed myself to not work out as much. But

786
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 1: now I work out a lot more and I'm back

787
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:38,399
Speaker 1: in it and I enjoy it and I do it

788
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:40,319
Speaker 1: because it just makes me feel good.

789
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,359
Speaker 3: Wait where did you go with the ret you you

790
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:43,720
Speaker 3: were alluded to going on Reddit?

791
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:47,319
Speaker 1: Oh? No, oh, because people are like, did create it?

792
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:48,360
Speaker 1: Does she work out anymore?

793
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:51,239
Speaker 3: I know I was it off.

794
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:54,839
Speaker 1: I'm closing the door. Yeah.

795
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 2: It reminds me Reddit as a whole is like adult

796
00:44:57,680 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 2: I don't know if when you were in college you

797
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:02,240
Speaker 2: had this. And I'm sure I'm going to get DMS

798
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 2: about the fact that I'm saying this right now, But

799
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:07,359
Speaker 2: when I was in college. I graduated college in twenty ten,

800
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,760
Speaker 2: I'm thirty five, and we had a website called Juicy

801
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 2: Campus and it was like a place you could go

802
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 2: to anonymously, like talk about people from your university.

803
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 1: No, okay, so I'm so awful. Okay, I'm forty two.

804
00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 1: And when I was in junior high and high school,

805
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 1: we had slam books. Did you have those? Oh?

806
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 3: I mean it just sounds like a burn book, like

807
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:34,440
Speaker 3: mean girls.

808
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:38,880
Speaker 1: It was totally as a notebook that got passed around

809
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:43,279
Speaker 1: school and you just wrote mean things about people. I'm like,

810
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 1: this is awful, But now it's on the internet.

811
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:49,759
Speaker 3: That's the song we Hate a slam book. Although I

812
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:51,440
Speaker 3: am excited for the Mean Girls movie.

813
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:53,959
Speaker 2: Not paid to say this, but I'm actually really looking

814
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 2: forward to going to see.

815
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 3: It next week.

816
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:57,400
Speaker 1: Close it out next week.

817
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 2: I think it might be out today. We're recording this

818
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:04,160
Speaker 2: on January eleventh. I think it's out this weekend, so

819
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:07,719
Speaker 2: it might be a little MLK Day movie moment for me.

820
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:10,360
Speaker 1: That's perfect because I am not making any plans this

821
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:13,320
Speaker 1: weekend with anyone, but I am down for a movie.

822
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,879
Speaker 2: You and I can have our own personal movie days

823
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,600
Speaker 2: in our respective cities and then come back to talk

824
00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:19,040
Speaker 2: about it.

825
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 3: I love it. So talk to me a.

826
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:25,400
Speaker 2: Little bit about what you're excited about now.

827
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 1: I am excited about now, just everything that number one

828
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,719
Speaker 1: with Big Silence had it for two years, and like

829
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:38,359
Speaker 1: the things that we're doing. I'm going on a live

830
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 1: podcast tour in May. That because I'm releasing my memoir

831
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,799
Speaker 1: in audible. It's taken me a while, but I'm like,

832
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:48,359
Speaker 1: this memoir is with me for my life. It took

833
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:52,520
Speaker 1: me five years to write it's so I'm recording that now.

834
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:55,560
Speaker 1: So I'm excited about that, Excited about a lot of events,

835
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:59,799
Speaker 1: and I just I feel like this lightness has been

836
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:05,680
Speaker 1: taken off of me recently, where I'm really enjoying life

837
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 1: more and finding joy. I think there's been a lot

838
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:12,320
Speaker 1: of release of different things. Obviously, you know when we

839
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:17,120
Speaker 1: talk about grief and relationships and parents, it takes time

840
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 1: to overcome that and move forward. And I definitely like

841
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 1: it's a weird few years emotionally, and I just I

842
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm just excited about I mean waking I

843
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 1: wake up now and I'm like, let's go excited about

844
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 1: the podcast. I'm excited about some other projects that I'm

845
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:42,840
Speaker 1: not talking about quite yet, just life health.

846
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can really relate to that feeling of when

847
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,840
Speaker 2: you finally feel as though you're capable to open the

848
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 2: drapes when they've been closed for so long. And it's

849
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:59,239
Speaker 2: not that the sun wasn't shining outside, it's just that

850
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:02,200
Speaker 2: you couldn't give yourself access to it.

851
00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:04,520
Speaker 3: I really relate with what you're.

852
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 2: Saying about waking up and being like, I have so

853
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 2: much possibility today instead of thinking, oh, it's just another day.

854
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:15,879
Speaker 2: I'd love if you could share a strategy or two

855
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 2: that you used when you were in some of your

856
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 2: darker moments. Navigating grief. That really helped you stay resilient

857
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 2: when it did feel like you were incapable of drawing

858
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:29,840
Speaker 2: back the drapes.

859
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 1: You know, it's going to be such a simple answer.

860
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:37,279
Speaker 1: It's I don't want to do this. I don't want

861
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:42,200
Speaker 1: to get up today. Just get up, Just get up

862
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:44,920
Speaker 1: and start there. I don't want to meno tape. Okay,

863
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:47,920
Speaker 1: two minutes, okay, I can do this. Two minutes all right,

864
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 1: already feeling better. I don't want to go work out, okay,

865
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:55,840
Speaker 1: just go on a twenty minute walk in nature, okay,

866
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 1: turn on a podcast or something, call someone like okay,

867
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:01,800
Speaker 1: and then it usually turns into like lifting some weights

868
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 1: or do it. You know, it's just the little just

869
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 1: tiny little things, that little nuggets that you can actually do,

870
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 1: and then you do them, and the more that you

871
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 1: do it, the more accomplished you feel. And you're just

872
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:17,320
Speaker 1: checking all these things off your list and a little

873
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:20,399
Speaker 1: bit more every day, and then maybe one day it's

874
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:23,759
Speaker 1: not gonna happen at all, that's okay. It's just the

875
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:27,799
Speaker 1: little things that then you'll notice. It may be a

876
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:30,839
Speaker 1: year later you're gonna wake up and those curtains are

877
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:34,600
Speaker 1: just wide open and you're like, I did this and

878
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 1: I got through that, and we're all going to go

879
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:40,799
Speaker 1: through that, And don't have any guilt for anything that

880
00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:44,960
Speaker 1: you're going through emotionally. Just don't give up on yourself

881
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 1: and know that you're here for a reason and and

882
00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:52,800
Speaker 1: we are We're here so you can do anything.

883
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:55,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's so much power in what you said, this

884
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:59,360
Speaker 2: concept of just starting and knowing that so often simply

885
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:02,920
Speaker 2: beginning and really be the hardest part. And when we

886
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 2: have the tenacity, maybe sometimes the bravery within us to begin,

887
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:12,319
Speaker 2: you'll be really surprised what comes after that moment. I

888
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 2: think so often we tell ourselves so many stories that

889
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:18,279
Speaker 2: prevent us from beginning at all, and so to be

890
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 2: able to do that for yourself, it really is something

891
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 2: to be proud of.

892
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:25,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think when we talk about stories, a

893
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 1: lot of stories in our minds because we have our

894
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:34,279
Speaker 1: lovely little hamster wheel up here as eighty one hundred

895
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:37,759
Speaker 1: thousand thoughts per day, and most of them are not positive.

896
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:43,040
Speaker 1: So positive affirmations. We've all heard about that. But when

897
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 1: you wake up in the morning and you're like, sometimes

898
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 1: I'm just like I am loved, I am excited, I

899
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:53,760
Speaker 1: am thankful for my home and my family, my five Pomeranians,

900
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:58,799
Speaker 1: like just switching that thought like to something positive. You know,

901
00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 1: we just got to get out of here and just

902
00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:04,960
Speaker 1: like here, like let's feel our hearts and don't let

903
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:08,759
Speaker 1: the brain, the mind and the thoughts, you know, deterior.

904
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:12,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm all about like accessible positive affirmations, Like

905
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:16,839
Speaker 2: I think that sometimes we can be inundated with this

906
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:20,759
Speaker 2: messaging that is like overwhelmingly positive.

907
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:24,080
Speaker 3: Or maybe not really feeling very realistic.

908
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:27,360
Speaker 2: And so what you just said, like I am loved,

909
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:32,400
Speaker 2: I have wonderful animals, Like there are things that you

910
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:35,640
Speaker 2: can say to yourself that are really rooted in fact,

911
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:38,919
Speaker 2: that are positive, that give you the boost that you need.

912
00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:41,600
Speaker 2: And exactly like you said, all of those negative thoughts,

913
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:44,319
Speaker 2: like it happens to all of us. So I don't

914
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:46,400
Speaker 2: want anyone to think that they're like, oh, I'm just

915
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:49,719
Speaker 2: such a negative person, candidly, like most of us technically

916
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:53,560
Speaker 2: are negative people, but we choose what happens with them, right.

917
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:57,719
Speaker 1: I mean, and I think everyone gets so even with meditation,

918
00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:03,240
Speaker 1: everyone's gets so overwhelmed with exercise, with meditation, with affirmations,

919
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:07,360
Speaker 1: with nutrition, with everything it can be. It doesn't have

920
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:09,759
Speaker 1: to be all or nothing. It can just be a

921
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:13,719
Speaker 1: little tidbit and then some days it's a ton and then.

922
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 3: Back little tidbit.

923
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:19,879
Speaker 2: I also appreciate what you said about Okay, maybe it's

924
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:23,240
Speaker 2: just a twenty minute walk. Sometimes we have to pivot

925
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 2: from the plan, and we can't get mad at the pivot. Rather,

926
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:28,839
Speaker 2: you should be proud about the fact that you were

927
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:31,000
Speaker 2: willing to do something that's good for yourself.

928
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I feel accomplished. I make my bed

929
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:39,680
Speaker 1: in the morning, and I'm like, you go, Krena.

930
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:40,279
Speaker 2: Really making your bed is the best thing you can

931
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:42,600
Speaker 2: do for yourself to feel accomplished within the first ten

932
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:43,439
Speaker 2: minutes of your day.

933
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:47,200
Speaker 1: Seriously, Okay, and this I mean the past two mornings.

934
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:49,319
Speaker 1: I woke up and I was like, I don't want

935
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:51,560
Speaker 1: to make my bed today, and then my head, I'm like,

936
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:54,040
Speaker 1: make your bed. Creen I'm like, okay, what is all

937
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:57,360
Speaker 1: I'm doing is making my bed? And I made it

938
00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:58,360
Speaker 1: and I already felt better.

939
00:52:58,800 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.

940
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:04,240
Speaker 2: And it's amazing how you'll realize that the positive habits

941
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 2: start to accrue once you do one thing in the

942
00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:11,280
Speaker 2: habit stacking. So for me, for instance, I'm doing dry

943
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:14,719
Speaker 2: Ish January. The rule for myself is that I can

944
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:17,279
Speaker 2: only drink if I'm going on a date. No, I'm

945
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:18,960
Speaker 2: not trying to go on twenty nine dates this month,

946
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:21,520
Speaker 2: although it did cross my mind. So I went on

947
00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:25,760
Speaker 2: one date and I had two drinks. That's my max,

948
00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:28,240
Speaker 2: and I had that two drinks. So the next morning,

949
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 2: I woke up and I didn't want to do any

950
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 2: of the things that I have been otherwise doing every

951
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:33,840
Speaker 2: single day.

952
00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:34,560
Speaker 3: So far this month.

953
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:37,799
Speaker 2: And I realized that I was like opening the floodgates

954
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:40,400
Speaker 2: to a morning that I knew wouldn't fill me up

955
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:41,799
Speaker 2: and wouldn't make me feel good.

956
00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:43,960
Speaker 3: So I started to do exactly what you said.

957
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 2: I said, Okay, I'm going to start by doing this

958
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:50,120
Speaker 2: five minute breathwork on the open app Then okay, I'm

959
00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:50,960
Speaker 2: gonna make my bed.

960
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 3: Then I'm going to write in my journal.

961
00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 2: Did these positive habits take me a little bit longer

962
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:56,560
Speaker 2: than they usually do that day?

963
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:57,280
Speaker 3: For sure?

964
00:53:57,680 --> 00:54:00,560
Speaker 2: But I remembered how good it feels to get back

965
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:03,320
Speaker 2: to myself. And that's why, especially at the top of

966
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 2: the new year, when we're having this conversation, it's so

967
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:08,440
Speaker 2: important to have a deep why with the things that

968
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:10,040
Speaker 2: we're integrating into our routines.

969
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:13,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the little things. The other thing I'm and

970
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:14,799
Speaker 1: I don't really do it much, but I have a

971
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:18,000
Speaker 1: funny story. You know. Mel Robin's her five second girl

972
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:20,880
Speaker 1: is it? Five four three two one? And so I

973
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:23,760
Speaker 1: was I was up early and my husband was still

974
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:27,600
Speaker 1: sleeping like two hours later, and I opened up Instagram

975
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:29,279
Speaker 1: and it was like just a couple of days ago,

976
00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:31,680
Speaker 1: and Mel was there. She's like, are you still in bed?

977
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:33,240
Speaker 3: Get up ready?

978
00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:37,400
Speaker 1: Five four three two one? And like, oh wait no.

979
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:39,320
Speaker 1: Before she said that, she's like pointing her dogs. So

980
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 1: we're sleeping, She's like, we are not dogs. And my

981
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:45,400
Speaker 1: husband's in bed with four dogs. And so I went

982
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:47,759
Speaker 1: into the bedroom and I played that really loud for

983
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:50,080
Speaker 1: him and he's like, go.

984
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 3: Oh that Mel Robin. She gets me every time.

985
00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:58,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's right though, She's right sometimes you just need

986
00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:00,720
Speaker 2: like that little push off the ledge to get to where.

987
00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:05,600
Speaker 3: You want to be. Yeah, all right, Karina.

988
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:09,200
Speaker 2: Someone goes to your Instagram page, they see this woman

989
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:12,120
Speaker 2: that is the founder of Tone it Up. You're obviously

990
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:15,080
Speaker 2: a huge mental health advocate, with two hundred and thirteen

991
00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:18,879
Speaker 2: thousand social media followers at least on Instagram. When you

992
00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 2: look in the mirror, what is it that you see

993
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:23,000
Speaker 2: looking back at you?

994
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:29,880
Speaker 1: I have learned to be so grateful. And I'm going

995
00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:34,000
Speaker 1: to talk about little Karina again because I am and

996
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:37,600
Speaker 1: I say this in No We Go Away, but I

997
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:41,080
Speaker 1: am more than what little Karina could have ever dreamed of.

998
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:46,879
Speaker 1: So I need to remember that so where I didn't

999
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:47,640
Speaker 1: think I would be here.

1000
00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:51,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, when you when you say that I'm more than

1001
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:54,319
Speaker 2: she could have ever dreamed of. I think there's so

1002
00:55:54,480 --> 00:55:59,359
Speaker 2: much power in that statement, knowing that you have surpassed

1003
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:04,840
Speaker 2: even what your what at one time wildest expectations of

1004
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:09,400
Speaker 2: yourself were you did even mention earlier a suicide attempt,

1005
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:12,320
Speaker 2: if you wouldn't mind telling us a little bit about

1006
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:17,960
Speaker 2: how that gratitude has evolved since that moment in your life.

1007
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:20,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, And when I say more than I ever thought,

1008
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:24,640
Speaker 1: it's not it's not financial, it's not you know, career,

1009
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:31,160
Speaker 1: it's it's actual joy and gratitude and like realizing because

1010
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:34,799
Speaker 1: so my that was that happened when I was twelve

1011
00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:37,919
Speaker 1: years old, and I do write about it in my book.

1012
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:40,719
Speaker 1: I won't go into detail any details here. And then

1013
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:44,360
Speaker 1: coming out on the other side was scary. I'm like,

1014
00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:47,640
Speaker 1: it didn't happen, you know, it's very scary. And then

1015
00:56:47,719 --> 00:56:49,960
Speaker 1: that was just the beginning of my darkness, like two

1016
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:53,440
Speaker 1: years a year in or so. But I always say,

1017
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:58,440
Speaker 1: it takes a lot more strength and effort to heal

1018
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 1: yourself and do and take care of yourself and know

1019
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:05,400
Speaker 1: that there is something greater in you. And how do

1020
00:57:05,440 --> 00:57:08,920
Speaker 1: you get there? You start with the baby steps, And

1021
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 1: you know, I think that's why I give back so

1022
00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:19,520
Speaker 1: much and find these careers to just help other people

1023
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:22,160
Speaker 1: live a better life, because you're worthy to be here.

1024
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:26,920
Speaker 1: I am everyone listening. Ever, just you know, life is

1025
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:29,600
Speaker 1: what does that stat I hear all the different numbers,

1026
00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:32,160
Speaker 1: four hundred billion chances of being I don't know two

1027
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:34,280
Speaker 1: hundred Do you know what I'm talking about?

1028
00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:37,200
Speaker 2: Inn certain inspirational quote about our lives and how much

1029
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:38,280
Speaker 2: potentially happens that.

1030
00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:39,240
Speaker 1: You are here?

1031
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:45,320
Speaker 2: We're here, you know we're here, and what a special

1032
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:49,240
Speaker 2: place it is to be for you being here in

1033
00:57:49,280 --> 00:57:52,439
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four, do you have I want to ask

1034
00:57:52,520 --> 00:57:54,920
Speaker 2: you maybe like a word for the year, or like

1035
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:58,280
Speaker 2: a really solid intention for the next I guess we're

1036
00:57:58,320 --> 00:58:00,920
Speaker 2: a few weeks in now, but overall y to fifty

1037
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:02,160
Speaker 2: four weeks of the year.

1038
00:58:04,560 --> 00:58:09,280
Speaker 1: I have a word, and it's freedom. Just freedom to

1039
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:13,680
Speaker 1: be me, freedom to do what you want to do

1040
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:17,000
Speaker 1: and be a good person. Freedom to make your own choices,

1041
00:58:17,520 --> 00:58:21,360
Speaker 1: freedom to feel happy, freedom to free your mind from

1042
00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:23,720
Speaker 1: any negative thoughts, freedom to love.

1043
00:58:25,320 --> 00:58:25,560
Speaker 3: Just that.

1044
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:30,120
Speaker 1: I just this freedom, freedom, and not that I didn't

1045
00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:32,320
Speaker 1: have it before, But I'm going to focus on it,

1046
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:35,400
Speaker 1: like say I don't want to do that, the freedom

1047
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:36,800
Speaker 1: to say no, being.

1048
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:39,960
Speaker 2: Intentional about it for sure. What does freedom in your

1049
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:42,240
Speaker 2: mind feel like to you? Aside from you said that

1050
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:43,280
Speaker 2: word happy.

1051
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:48,280
Speaker 1: A lightness, a lightness in my heart and my mind

1052
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:51,800
Speaker 1: and carrying that through through the day.

1053
00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:55,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh, I want to feel that way each and

1054
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:55,600
Speaker 3: every day.

1055
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:58,240
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm going to adopt freedom as my word of

1056
00:58:58,320 --> 00:59:03,200
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four. All right, Karina, final question. Right now,

1057
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 2: you have an opportunity to offer yourself a piece of advice.

1058
00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:09,320
Speaker 2: I'm going to bring it back to when you were

1059
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:12,120
Speaker 2: in that period of time after the loss of your mother,

1060
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:14,480
Speaker 2: carrying that grief with you.

1061
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:16,800
Speaker 3: You have an opportunity to offer yourself a piece of advice.

1062
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:21,400
Speaker 3: Knowing what you know. Now, what do you tell yourself.

1063
00:59:23,280 --> 00:59:26,840
Speaker 1: It's okay to sit in it. It's okay because this

1064
00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:28,240
Speaker 1: too shall pass.

1065
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:32,080
Speaker 2: This too shall pass. I'm so so happy we were

1066
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:34,720
Speaker 2: able to do this. Tell the hurdlers, if they don't

1067
00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 2: follow you just yet, how do they keep up with you?

1068
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,440
Speaker 3: How do they follow along with you? Give us your details?

1069
00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:44,480
Speaker 1: Well? On Instagram it's Karina down. And then for the

1070
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 1: big silence, it's the dot big Dot silence, and then

1071
00:59:47,720 --> 00:59:49,960
Speaker 1: Karna dot com and the big silence dot com.

1072
00:59:50,120 --> 00:59:50,640
Speaker 3: Beautiful.

1073
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:53,280
Speaker 2: I'm over at Emily a Body and at Hurdle Podcast.

1074
00:59:53,480 --> 01:00:06,920
Speaker 2: Another Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys, next time you