WEBVTT - Mental Health with Hill Harper and Collette Smith 0:00:04.080 --> 0:00:08.719 That's what's good everybody. I'm to mek A D. Mallory 0:00:08.840 --> 0:00:11.840 and it's your boy General and we are your host 0:00:11.880 --> 0:00:15.840 of Street Politicians, the place where the streets and politics me. 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:19.840 Thank you for joining us for another episode. Let me 0:00:19.920 --> 0:00:23.000 just start off by saying that I appreciate so much. 0:00:23.120 --> 0:00:28.560 We appreciate all those who have been downloading our podcast, 0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:33.479 listening to it on my heart um podcast network, and 0:00:33.479 --> 0:00:38.160 then also downloading the episodes on I Woman dot tv. 0:00:38.440 --> 0:00:44.040 You go there, subscribe and go and watch free episodes. 0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:45.800 You know, someone said to me of the day, why 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:47.920 we got to subscribe? Why do I have to put 0:00:47.960 --> 0:00:50.520 my email address in? Wow? You don't say that a 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:54.480 music Do you say that about Netflix and all these 0:00:54.480 --> 0:00:57.440 You don't subscribe like you subscribe to anybody else. Right 0:00:57.480 --> 0:01:02.760 when a black woman owns the network? Kathleen Jones shout 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:07.400 out to Kathleen Trigge, the founder, developer, creator of Our 0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:11.160 Women and TV. And that's our friend and the and 0:01:11.280 --> 0:01:15.840 the director of this show. And um, you know, we 0:01:15.959 --> 0:01:18.160 have to make sure that we take care of our 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:20.759 own the same way we do everyone else. So we 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:23.160 asked that you go subscribe. Now you can listen to 0:01:23.200 --> 0:01:25.600 it on our heart, which by the way, you subscribe 0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:27.399 when you do that too, because they're gonna know who 0:01:27.440 --> 0:01:30.039 you are when you go in to sign up for 0:01:30.120 --> 0:01:35.120 a podcast. But for for I Woman dot TV, I 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:40.640 Woman dot TV. Be clear, okay, I Woman dot TV. 0:01:41.120 --> 0:01:43.840 You go there register and you can actually see this 0:01:44.000 --> 0:01:46.600 podcast because we've been flying to you don't want to 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:52.720 miss these, okay, Gladden Mia. Shout out to Gladden Mia 0:01:52.800 --> 0:01:57.040 that they are Oh please they If they don't help you, 0:01:57.440 --> 0:02:01.160 help me, you would be don't you need have Gladden mea. 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:07.080 They are life savings. They are on it every single 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:10.440 week making sure that we look good and um that 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:13.799 we're presentable because I wear my sweatsuits every day. So 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:15.799 that's the pandemic. Bro, I don't know how to get dressed. 0:02:16.160 --> 0:02:18.280 I'm not gonna lie. I do not know how to 0:02:18.280 --> 0:02:23.919 get dressed. And the last and the shoes listen. I'm 0:02:23.960 --> 0:02:27.519 not sure. I'm not sure we're going back to wearing 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:31.840 your Lubertan Lubertan look, how do you say it? Cat Lubaton. 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:35.240 I just don't know if I can go back to 0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:38.920 a red bottom from the car to the I can't 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:42.000 do it. It's just I literally put my shoes on 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:46.080 right here on the side of this chair to stand 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:49.640 right over in the corner and take a picture. I'm 0:02:49.680 --> 0:02:53.520 I have lost my way in terms of getting dressed 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:56.800 for myself. And if it wasn't for Lad and Mia 0:02:57.280 --> 0:03:00.920 pushing me to get dressed up into and do stuff, 0:03:01.160 --> 0:03:03.440 I just don't know. It's very difficult to go to 0:03:03.520 --> 0:03:06.560 zoom in your living room or your kitchen or wherever 0:03:06.680 --> 0:03:11.600 area in your house, in your most fabulous fashions. Yes, 0:03:11.639 --> 0:03:14.840 a lot. You know, his pandemic has done a lot 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:18.639 to our minds, and that's why today's episode is like 0:03:19.240 --> 0:03:23.800 primarily built around mental health. You know, it's it's mentally training. 0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:27.440 You know, especially in New York, there's no indoor dyning, 0:03:27.520 --> 0:03:31.080 there's no club, there's no recreation pretty much with the 0:03:31.080 --> 0:03:33.359 exception of the gym, is where I go get a 0:03:33.440 --> 0:03:35.840 lot of my energy. You know, I've been able to 0:03:35.920 --> 0:03:38.120 utilize working out his energy. But a lot of people 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:40.560 are just locked in the house. They're scared. You know, 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:43.720 the numbers are spiking, people are dying, people are getting 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:46.640 infected at higher rates. So it's it's a lot, man, 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:49.760 We're dealing with so much mental health in these times. 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:53.840 So your shoes, you know it's understandable. My ones, my 0:03:54.000 --> 0:03:59.880 Jordan ones, my tens, and like a few other kind 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:04.120 bad boot situations. That's what I wear when I get dressed. 0:04:04.520 --> 0:04:07.880 I love a day when nobody talks to me and 0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:10.560 I don't have to do anything that that's very very 0:04:10.680 --> 0:04:14.200 very rare. But I don't I don't understand why we 0:04:14.320 --> 0:04:18.960 have to be on the zoom camera all day long. 0:04:19.720 --> 0:04:23.080 I don't like you, and I just think you just 0:04:23.080 --> 0:04:25.960 don't want to do nothing, Like you can't go to 0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:28.680 the place. Right before, we had to fly and we 0:04:28.720 --> 0:04:30.719 had to do speaking engagements and we had to go 0:04:30.760 --> 0:04:32.760 to colleges. We had to do this, and we had 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:38.760 to be on seven hour flights for all. And remember 0:04:38.800 --> 0:04:40.839 how we used to have to go to like North 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:44.280 Carolina and Ohio on other places in the wintertime and 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:46.599 we would get snowed in and be driving on ice 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:50.560 and night and slide and I mean, you gotta have something, 0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:53.000 something gotta happen, Like you just ain't gonna sit home 0:04:53.040 --> 0:04:56.159 and just do nothing. But you wear your slippers to 0:04:56.279 --> 0:04:58.840 your zoom. Yeah, so that's what I'm trying to tell you, 0:04:58.920 --> 0:05:00.800 mad at the zoom when you can slippers. If he 0:05:00.839 --> 0:05:03.360 didn't even heard it, But you gotta stay on the stage, 0:05:03.960 --> 0:05:08.480 right I did, But my red bottoms, Remember, it was 0:05:08.560 --> 0:05:11.240 like my ankle from one of the marches that we did. 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:14.440 My ankle was messed up, and I stood on the 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:17.719 stage and said to everyone. I was like, listen, guys, 0:05:18.320 --> 0:05:20.599 my leg is messed up and it hurts a lot. 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:22.840 But y'all wasn't gonna get me out here without my 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:26.400 shoes on. So I'm standing here in pain with this 0:05:26.680 --> 0:05:30.000 good good the brand new red bottom which, by the way, 0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:33.080 y'all don't understand this, but you need to know that 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:38.720 the new ones. Oh listen, listen. It's a difficult process. However, 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:41.880 I'm gonna be cute when they opened back up. Don't worry. 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:48.679 I'm gonna be cute. I'm gonna Jordan's and you ladin 0:05:48.839 --> 0:05:50.800 me and worked well with you, and they also worked 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:55.040 they hook us up. But the mental health component of 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:57.520 it is so it's so real what you said, because 0:05:57.920 --> 0:06:02.440 sometimes I do get up and say, damn, like you 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:04.400 don't even know, Like I don't even know what it 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:08.000 is to have certain types of gatherings and meet ups 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:11.320 with people, and thank God in our situation or I 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:13.200 don't know, not thank God, because the work we do 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:16.240 is so traumatizing and the and the situations that we 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:18.440 have to work on, but we at least get to 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:21.720 move around more than other people. There are people who 0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:25.000 are working from home, their kids are at home all day, 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:28.720 their uh spouses are there. And you know, I'm a 0:06:28.880 --> 0:06:32.320 firm believer that people need space from each other home 0:06:32.480 --> 0:06:34.560 people in their home. Kids don't need to see their 0:06:34.640 --> 0:06:38.000 parents all the time. You know, people need space, and 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:42.839 to have everybody locked in it has to be causing 0:06:43.800 --> 0:06:49.200 trauma a serious it's traumatic. It's traumatic as hell that 0:06:49.360 --> 0:06:52.120 you can't see other people and go places. And I 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:56.000 do miss my girlfriends and us going out and having 0:06:56.040 --> 0:06:58.600 a drink. I miss my favorite restaurants. I missed going 0:06:58.640 --> 0:07:03.039 to Sylvia's and Harlem regularly. That's my liberal that's my kitchen, 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:06.440 and Sylvia's and Harlem is literally my kitchen and it's where. 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:11.880 You know, Sylvia's history is so rich because as Sylvia's 0:07:12.320 --> 0:07:18.320 everybody has been through there, every celebrity, every um, every politician, 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:22.240 and it's almost it's almost like us a therapy session 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:24.400 when you go in and get to be around family 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:27.720 and other black people who are striving for greatness and 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:31.200 to not have that, it's really it's hard. It's a lot. 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:33.480 It's a lot for men. You know, we usually have 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:35.600 our meet ups. You know, it's rough for us. You know, 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:39.720 we usually we go sports bars, you know, watch the games, 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:42.920 watch the super Bowl. You couldn't even go watch Like 0:07:43.120 --> 0:07:46.240 those are big days that men just congregate all in 0:07:46.360 --> 0:07:48.440 one big place, and you can't even do that right now. 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:51.720 So you know, I understand. You know, clubs, we used 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:53.760 to go to the club every now and then just 0:07:53.840 --> 0:07:56.920 have a good time, just unleash. It's just like now 0:07:57.080 --> 0:07:59.960 you're just taking liquor back to your own you're frustrate 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:04.000 the fact, you know, and you're arguing with your spouse 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:06.480 or somebody in the house because you they tired, you drunk, 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:08.800 You frustrated because you can't go out. You're sharing this. 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:12.120 It's just a lot of trauma. And that's why this 0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:16.120 mental health thing is something that I've come to realize 0:08:16.160 --> 0:08:19.040 that's serious because I didn't even identify with it before. 0:08:19.440 --> 0:08:21.600 Mental health, like somebody like you got issues and I'm 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:26.320 like you're bugging, like I'm perfect, Like you're crazy my mind, 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:29.000 I'm one of I'm a genius. Like what do you 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:31.760 there could be nothing wrong with me mentally, like are 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:35.839 you crazy? Like you're talking about me? Like me? And 0:08:35.920 --> 0:08:38.560 then I started to pull back laders and just identify 0:08:38.760 --> 0:08:41.679 with certain things and saying one, so damn. Maybe that 0:08:41.880 --> 0:08:45.040 is a little different. Maybe these things do come from 0:08:45.120 --> 0:08:47.280 things that have happened. Maybe I am triggered. Maybe I 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:50.080 am dealing with trauma from childhood. Maybe I am dealing 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:52.559 with trauma from prison. Maybe I am dealing with just 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:55.880 different traumas. You know, because I identify with certain ways 0:08:55.960 --> 0:08:58.800 that I think and things that I do. It's not 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:02.079 really the norm. The average person doesn't do it, but 0:09:02.200 --> 0:09:05.880 I've normalized it, you know. So you know I'm getting better. 0:09:05.880 --> 0:09:08.679 I don't have a therapist yet, but I'm moving towards it, 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:11.959 you know, I'm moving towards the rapists. Name is Linda's. 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:17.400 Our sword is definitely her, and Omar Prankle and your 0:09:17.440 --> 0:09:21.319 best friend and your partner at Until Freedom and other 0:09:21.400 --> 0:09:24.800 co founder. Those are your therapists that you talk to 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:26.720 because you and I it don't work because we are 0:09:26.760 --> 0:09:29.640 not arguing because we don't agree, but because I just 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:33.160 don't agree with you about a whole bunch of ways 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:35.719 that you think. I just think it's worth thinking, and 0:09:35.880 --> 0:09:38.920 Linda will say no, because we both have trauma. Right, 0:09:39.000 --> 0:09:42.360 So we're bringing our trauma to a conversation. Lend this trauma, Tiz, 0:09:42.679 --> 0:09:46.400 and I don't. I think lendas trauma is different, right, Yeah, Well, 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:50.560 if lendas trauma is not very exactly because your trauma 0:09:50.640 --> 0:09:55.520 comes from Black experiences, black men, black women. My trauma 0:09:55.600 --> 0:09:58.680 comes from Black experiences. So when we come from different 0:09:58.720 --> 0:10:02.760 perspective of that experience and we have a conversation, that 0:10:02.840 --> 0:10:05.840 trauma shows up. Oh yeah, because I'm trauma sized when 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:10.000 I'm trying to reason with your craziness. But I think 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:12.960 from Lender's perspective it is true because she will say 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:16.680 to me, like, wow, black people's the way you all think, 0:10:16.800 --> 0:10:19.920 in the way that you live is very different, you know. 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:22.679 And she knows that. But she also is a very 0:10:22.760 --> 0:10:25.520 good person to talk to. So we do have people around. 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:28.880 We have sound boards, yeah, we have sounds. We have 0:10:29.000 --> 0:10:31.800 sound boards, and and it makes us think. So, you know, 0:10:31.880 --> 0:10:36.520 I'm always thinking, and I have like sixteen thousand, million, 0:10:36.880 --> 0:10:39.920 one hundred and seventy five thoughts of the days today, 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:45.440 I just want I'm struggling. You can't figure out one 0:10:45.640 --> 0:10:48.679 thing that's one thought out. Then you are dealing with 0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:53.160 mental health. You have to unpack. And I really, you know, 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:57.080 I'm struggling with picking the one that is most significant 0:10:57.120 --> 0:11:00.440 because I want to talk about relationships, I to talk 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:02.840 about stuff. I just want to talk about a bunch 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:06.400 of stuff. But I think you know, in a few 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:12.640 weeks ago, my son terik Um time on five we 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:18.200 did Alive together that I had no idea how many 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:21.640 people like he's a he's a he's brilliant, he's brilliant, 0:11:21.640 --> 0:11:24.280 he's a master marketer, very you know, similar to you 0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:26.319 in a lot of ways in terms of how he thinks. 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:29.839 Because he kept saying, Mom, you know, the rest of 0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:31.520 your life is in the world. We might as well 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:35.079 talk about our stuff, right, And he's like, I'm telling you, mom, 0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:38.280 people my friends, you know, they have the same problems 0:11:38.320 --> 0:11:40.040 with their parents that I have with you. And the 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:43.360 reason why this came up is because his album was 0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:47.160 being released. He loves music, he does music, he is 0:11:47.200 --> 0:11:51.120 an artist. And I listened to two words of one 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:53.680 song and said, I can't put this on my social media. 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:56.319 There's no way I can support this. I can't do 0:11:56.440 --> 0:11:59.520 nothing with this, Like and it's not even bad music. 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:03.480 It's music that I do listen to on you know, 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:06.440 on the side, and some of it I can actually 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:09.760 I can promote when I'm listening to other people, when 0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:12.079 I'm you know, when Cardi and Meg is dropping and 0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:15.360 they're talking about that, why that's not my son, that's 0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:19.560 not my child. So but when it's him again, that's scrutiny. 0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:21.800 You know that people we don't like to talk about, 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:24.760 but it's real. I'll be I'll be feeling away. And 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:27.719 so I was trying to figure out, Tarik, what do 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:31.120 I do to support you with your music, knowing that 0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:34.280 the things you're saying, in the ways in which you 0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:41.080 frame your thoughts, it's just outside of what I think 0:12:41.320 --> 0:12:44.040 people can deal with. They can't even deal with me 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:47.719 talking about Kim Kardashian on on my page. There it's 0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:50.959 a meltdown on my page that's been going on for 0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:54.200 the last few weeks about me saying one thing about 0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:57.280 Kim Kardashian. They'd be like, I can't believe this. They 0:12:57.400 --> 0:13:01.080 can't deal with me posting myself in a bathing okay, 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:05.080 a bikini, they can't deal with certain just a lot 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:08.880 of things that I do so, imagine me posting some 0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:15.720 of his music, which is his real, true or authentic thoughts. Okay, 0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:19.240 I don't know what to do, and I guess my 0:13:19.480 --> 0:13:22.920 the thing I'm trying to figure out is how do 0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:30.760 you balance, especially supporting your young black man as a 0:13:31.000 --> 0:13:35.880 mom who has a platform, with the fact that I 0:13:35.960 --> 0:13:39.200 can't control what he does. Well, I think, I think 0:13:39.240 --> 0:13:41.599 for me, right, because I had this conversation with my 0:13:41.720 --> 0:13:44.160 son right because he's into music like all of them 0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:47.520 arest and and he's dope, you know. And I think 0:13:48.080 --> 0:13:52.079 when he first started, right, I explained to him, you know, 0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:55.400 I can't tell you who you are. You know, I've 0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:59.320 given you, you know, direction, I've giving you wisdom, I've 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:03.520 told you certain things. I'm not here to live your 0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:05.400 life or tell you what to say and what not 0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:09.240 to say. But I also have who I am. Right, 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:12.760 So when the music or the content of the music 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:15.520 that you make goes disaccording to what it is that 0:14:15.600 --> 0:14:18.839 I represent, I'm not not going to support you. But 0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:23.720 I can't. I can't knowingly and will willingly promote something 0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:26.560 that goes against what it is that I represent. You know, 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:28.600 So understand that it's not that I don't want to 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:31.560 support you. But if I'm out here telling everybody else's kids, 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:34.160 you'll listen, we gotta work, we gotta work on unity 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:35.960 and this and that. And you're talking about shooting them 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:39.000 up and how much dope you're gonna sell. They don't. 0:14:40.280 --> 0:14:43.400 But that's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is if 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:45.920 that's what you your content is, because I remember when 0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:48.400 I was young. But really, what I'm just trying to say, 0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:52.160 if your content is just that's just you know, an example. 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:54.280 You know, I remember when I was young. I was 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:56.720 my song Lefty Gun in the right pom popping niggas 0:14:56.720 --> 0:14:59.240 and they sleep so they dot com. You know, I know, 0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:03.400 I under there. There's an evolution. So while you evolving, 0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:05.640 you have to do that. You have to get to 0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:08.600 that process, you know. And when you get to a process, 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.120 were you able to you know the fact that I 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:14.080 understand music and I understand what you're going through. I'm 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:17.040 gonna give you pointers on how you know what everybody's 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:19.800 saying that. You know, everybody's talking about how much lean 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:22.760 and how much perks they popping, how much money they got, 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:26.200 how much are they all talking about that? If you 0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:30.760 want to win, talk about exactly who you are I mean, right, 0:15:31.360 --> 0:15:33.520 because it's it's more authentic than saying, you know what 0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:35.720 this is where everybody is going along with not saying 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:37.920 that you're just making them stories. What I'm saying that 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:41.600 you're utilizing aspect of something that you may have experienced, 0:15:43.120 --> 0:15:45.480 what you've seen, Like we saw those things, so we 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:47.920 lived through that too. Because my son will say to me, 0:15:48.280 --> 0:15:50.400 because sometimes I listen to his music and I just 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:57.360 be like something we all go. He'll tell me, you 0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:00.160 don't know what's going on and everything and to be 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:03.360 remembering like word, that did happen, or you were there, 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:06.320 or you your friend did get killed, and you know 0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:08.560 and and and you did have beef with these people. 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:11.640 And I was hoping that the situation wouldn't go the 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:13.920 wrong way so I could kind of see it. But 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:17.040 it's like really, and he's like, myn you you don't 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:20.920 really understand my fault, like who I am and the 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:25.920 fullness and what I say is not your fullness. It's 0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:28.640 not your fullness. But he's on love songs now, so 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:32.280 he must be. You know, my son is a and 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:34.960 and not saw this too. Your son is also because 0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:38.120 he loves his girl and you know they've been together 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:40.480 since I've known y'all, or at least you know some 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:42.680 a lot of the years since I've known you guys, 0:16:42.720 --> 0:16:45.120 and that's been a while. But my son is a 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:49.040 lover of one. That's who he is. I never understood that. 0:16:49.480 --> 0:16:51.440 I would be, like, why do you want to be 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:55.520 in a relationship with one person so early in your life? 0:16:55.560 --> 0:16:58.000 You seventeen? But if you sit there and think about 0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:00.880 yourself or I think about me, you know, That's how 0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:04.040 I was when I was young. I had one relationship 0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:08.080 for six years, the first first girlfriend throughout my whole 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:11.159 high school. After I got out of high school, for 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:13.000 like six and a half years, like this was the 0:17:13.080 --> 0:17:16.600 only girls with because that was just how it is 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:19.320 like when you when men, and I think, what happens 0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:22.199 in those situations, it shapes who you are, Right if 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:24.960 that situation turns out good and you and that girl 0:17:25.400 --> 0:17:27.639 stay together and it's not nothing that but if that 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:30.879 girl breaks your heart, it turns you into somebody else, right, 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:33.960 So it's not Yeah, but it didn't for him. I 0:17:33.960 --> 0:17:39.679 don't know exactly, but every time he does the same 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:42.800 thing in terms of getting back in the relationship with 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:45.359 one girl, and I appreciate the fact that he's not 0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:48.200 out here slinging and dinging, like I get it. I 0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:51.560 appreciate it, but I do feel like it makes him 0:17:51.640 --> 0:17:55.960 more vulnerable to heartbreak and and and just you know, 0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:58.360 all the challenges and things that he's been throughing relationships. 0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:02.520 But I see he's now on his live or on 0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:06.200 his page with his his bottle that he must have 0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:09.600 been drinking some kind of tequila and he's using that 0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:12.760 as a prop and he's telling the bottle all these 0:18:12.880 --> 0:18:15.280 great things. But because you know, he's he's a comedian, 0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:18.320 he's a comedian. He's far very funny. So he's telling 0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:20.280 the bottle all these things about what he would do 0:18:20.840 --> 0:18:24.600 for her if, you know, they get together. And then 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:27.280 he wrote some stuff about how he's looking for the 0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:30.840 right woman, and so I guess, you know, it's a 0:18:30.920 --> 0:18:33.280 good thing that he's looking for He you know, he 0:18:33.400 --> 0:18:36.760 lives in a state or in a city in Atlanta 0:18:37.320 --> 0:18:40.280 that is dangerous to just be running wild, like you 0:18:40.359 --> 0:18:44.760 gotta be real careful because unfortunately HIV is a real 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:47.680 serious problem there. And so I guess I don't mind 0:18:48.119 --> 0:18:51.080 that he's trying to settle down, but sometimes he and 0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:55.320 not just talked too, totally different languages, totally different and 0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:57.600 I want to be supportive of him. It's not that 0:18:57.720 --> 0:18:59.639 if he was. I don't have a daughter, so I 0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:01.760 can't mean I have I have a young woman who 0:19:01.960 --> 0:19:04.560 I raised and she is like a daughter to me, 0:19:04.680 --> 0:19:07.560 and that cheyenne um, but you know, she doesn't live 0:19:07.600 --> 0:19:09.680 in my household all the time, So I don't have 0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:13.639 a daughter that I'm I'm responsible for the way I 0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:16.480 am my son, and I know how hard this world 0:19:16.800 --> 0:19:19.359 is two boys, and so it just makes me want 0:19:19.400 --> 0:19:21.720 to support him, but I already know that I have 0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:26.679 to be careful with how I approached supporting him. Now 0:19:26.720 --> 0:19:29.119 he'll turn around and say, okay, yeah, but whop your 0:19:29.200 --> 0:19:31.440 favorite song on the radio. I'm just trying to understand, 0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:35.960 so he so he'll point out that he sees hypocrisy there, 0:19:36.200 --> 0:19:38.720 But to be clear, I ain't. I might post that 0:19:39.080 --> 0:19:42.000 I don't see what y'all. You know, I may my defense, 0:19:42.040 --> 0:19:46.400 but I don't put the words of that. And it's 0:19:46.440 --> 0:19:49.600 not to take any stabs with these kids. But why 0:19:49.920 --> 0:19:53.000 is who Cardi b is? Right, That's been her full 0:19:53.040 --> 0:19:57.120 steps since she's came to You know, existence you understood 0:19:57.160 --> 0:20:00.399 that Cardi B was a stripper who came from bottom 0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:03.080 in the bronx who this was her normal life. Every 0:20:03.160 --> 0:20:05.040 day she was in the strip clubs, she was having fights, 0:20:05.280 --> 0:20:07.520 she was shaking up. This is what she This is 0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:10.800 who she was, you understand. So people look at that 0:20:10.920 --> 0:20:13.080 and say, yo, this is Cardi B. So when she 0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:17.480 talks about it, you immediately identify with it because there's 0:20:17.480 --> 0:20:20.359 a connection of authenticity I think for us looking at 0:20:20.359 --> 0:20:22.840 our children, right and understanding what we've been through and 0:20:22.960 --> 0:20:25.840 understand that we've actually given them a better path than 0:20:25.920 --> 0:20:28.080 we've had, right, So when they talk as if they're 0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:30.479 talking to us, you know, like they're like they've been 0:20:30.520 --> 0:20:32.480 through what we do, it's like it's hard to identify 0:20:32.600 --> 0:20:36.960 with it. Maybe someone else do what we've been through. 0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:39.160 Well I don't know, but you know what these kids 0:20:39.240 --> 0:20:41.639 be doing stuff we don't know about that. But the 0:20:41.720 --> 0:20:43.640 thing about it, even not know about it, I think 0:20:43.720 --> 0:20:46.520 for me is did you ever have to write? That's 0:20:46.560 --> 0:20:49.560 the thing. They get themselves in stuff that they should 0:20:49.640 --> 0:20:55.080 not be in, and then their experiences become hardships that 0:20:55.280 --> 0:20:58.600 it should not be. And that's my problem. So I 0:20:58.720 --> 0:21:01.440 think now I know my therapy session with you was 0:21:01.480 --> 0:21:05.640 gonna be okay today because that is actually the heart 0:21:05.760 --> 0:21:08.399 of the issue for me. It's like, yeah, I know 0:21:08.840 --> 0:21:11.720 that y'all got shot at in the park, but why 0:21:11.880 --> 0:21:14.880 but why did you go to the park over there 0:21:15.000 --> 0:21:19.200 that I told you don't be over there? And even 0:21:19.320 --> 0:21:22.119 the old heads over there, what y'all called the o 0:21:22.280 --> 0:21:25.680 G said, you don't live over here, don't come over here, 0:21:26.359 --> 0:21:27.800 and you just want to you just want to try 0:21:27.840 --> 0:21:29.720 it up. So now you've been shot at, you put 0:21:29.760 --> 0:21:33.159 yourself in the studio, you mad at people, and now 0:21:33.280 --> 0:21:35.440 you want to you're mad. It's like you're living through 0:21:35.520 --> 0:21:38.440 one side of your experiences. And that brings me to 0:21:38.520 --> 0:21:41.240 what the streets is talking about. The stres talking about, 0:21:41.320 --> 0:21:43.760 and the streets is talking about pretty much the same thing. 0:21:44.119 --> 0:21:46.840 I was. You know, my boy Wild put you know, 0:21:46.960 --> 0:21:48.960 he put a post up the other day and it 0:21:49.119 --> 0:21:51.240 was so real to me. He said, why are these 0:21:51.359 --> 0:21:56.679 rappers right waiting to get rich, waiting to get out 0:21:56.760 --> 0:22:00.240 of the hood, to have beef and do the dumb 0:22:00.320 --> 0:22:02.600 ship shooting at each other? And when we was coming 0:22:02.680 --> 0:22:05.040 up right when I was wrapping, my whole thing was 0:22:05.080 --> 0:22:07.000 I want to get out of the hood, you know, 0:22:07.160 --> 0:22:09.399 I want to make a better way. You know, I 0:22:09.440 --> 0:22:11.400 don't want to be in the streets dealing and dealing 0:22:11.480 --> 0:22:13.479 with all of these things. I wanted to be as 0:22:13.560 --> 0:22:17.359 far away from problems as possible. So these young boys 0:22:18.200 --> 0:22:22.840