1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 2: And this is Sarah hart Unger. I'm a mother of three, 4 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 2: a practicing physician and blogger. On the side, we are 5 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 2: two working parents who love our careers and our families. 6 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about 7 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,319 Speaker 1: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun, 8 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 1: from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. 9 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 1: We want you to get the most out of life. 10 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. This 11 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 1: is episode three hundred. Oh my goodness. We have been 12 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:43,599 Speaker 1: at this for three hundred episodes. This is airing in 13 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:47,000 Speaker 1: early May of twenty twenty three. So in this we're 14 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,320 Speaker 1: going to be talking just a little bit about some 15 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:53,160 Speaker 1: past episodes and how we do this podcast. We'll also 16 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: be looking forwards, you know, we talk about what we've 17 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 1: done in the last six years, what are we going 18 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 1: to do in the next six years. We're going to 19 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,680 Speaker 1: incorporate some items from our lists of one hundred dreams. 20 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,920 Speaker 1: Both Sarah and I have made these lists. This was 21 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 1: an exercise that was suggested to me many years ago 22 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: by a career coach named Caroline Siniza Levine. It's just 23 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: sort of anything you want to do in life. It's 24 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 1: like a bucket list, but people stop on their bucket 25 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,959 Speaker 1: lists after like twenty items. At the upside of one 26 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,839 Speaker 1: hundred is you have to keep going for a really 27 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:22,679 Speaker 1: long time and you come up with some smaller and 28 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: more doable goals, which we are all about doable goals here, 29 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,120 Speaker 1: But Sarah, I don't know. Had we set a goal 30 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,959 Speaker 1: of doing three hundred episodes when we started this. 31 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 2: We definitely did not. I think we went in with 32 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:37,639 Speaker 2: the attitude of like, whatever this turns into, it will be. 33 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:41,640 Speaker 2: This is for fun. And I think it's so cool 34 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 2: that we're up to three hundred. I mean that's like legit, 35 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 2: like old almost like og podcast lands, Like, Yes, I 36 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 2: feel really proud that we've reached this number. It's a 37 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 2: really big deal. 38 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, it is. And here's the other fun part. We 39 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: have never missed a Tuesday. So since starting in August 40 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 1: of twenty seven, there has been a Best of Both 41 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:06,120 Speaker 1: Worlds episode every single Tuesday on Time. We have never 42 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,880 Speaker 1: rerun an episode and this has been the case even 43 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 1: though we both had babies during this time. We both 44 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 1: moved during this time. Sarah has been evacuated for a 45 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 1: hurricane during this time, we have encountered COVID sometimes multiple 46 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:26,880 Speaker 1: times in the course of these these six years. So 47 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:30,359 Speaker 1: you know, I think, I mean, certainly it helps that. 48 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 1: Obviously we can do this virtually. I mean, most of 49 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 1: this is virtually. So as long as I can sit 50 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 1: in my closet for an hour, we can we can 51 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 1: do an episode. But I mean, what do you think, 52 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 1: like how I was trying to describe, like what made 53 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,919 Speaker 1: it possible to do that to stick with it? 54 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 2: For Well, we're very good planners. 55 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:46,840 Speaker 1: We are good planners. 56 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 2: I mean, we're really good like that. And I don't 57 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,799 Speaker 2: mean I mean that sounded terrible, but like it's one 58 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 2: of our strings, both of us. We're both upholders. I 59 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,120 Speaker 2: think we both have a pretty decent and probably above 60 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:02,079 Speaker 2: average ability to look ahead and be like, this is 61 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 2: an obstacle that might happen, so we need to have XYZ. 62 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 2: And we are not perfectionists, neither of us. So if 63 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 2: there was a hurricane and a man we had to 64 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 2: do an episode with poor audio quality that was twenty 65 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 2: minutes long with me just being interviewed using like a 66 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 2: voice memo on my phone, like then that was going 67 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:21,920 Speaker 2: to be the episode. And honestly, there could be some 68 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 2: beauty in like the ups and downs and the more curated, 69 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 2: polished episodes, you know, alternating with the gritty, real life 70 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:32,800 Speaker 2: this is what we're doing now type stuff. So yeah, 71 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:35,720 Speaker 2: if I was gonna identify factors, I would say good 72 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 2: planning and time management skills and an ability to get 73 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 2: things done without worrying about them being perfect. 74 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, although perhaps some of our guests are listening 75 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: to this and be like, well, I could have gone 76 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 1: for a wee bit more perfection and some of those episodes. Okay, anyway, sorry. 77 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 2: But I don't know. I much prefer in any podcast 78 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 2: that I listen to a shut off the Cup episode 79 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,400 Speaker 2: as opposed to a rerun. And I totally understand why 80 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,720 Speaker 2: people air reruns and guess what, I've aired reruns on 81 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 2: Bustly Planned, so sometimes it just kind of has to happen. 82 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 2: I think I did it like the first summer, because 83 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 2: I had just been like, it's summer, I don't feel 84 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:16,160 Speaker 2: like thinking about planning stuff, and probably nobody cares I'm 85 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,039 Speaker 2: going to reair some stuff, although I think I only 86 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 2: did that the first season, So nothing against reairs, but 87 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 2: I'm also like proud of us for just getting at 88 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:27,159 Speaker 2: it and bringing them something fresh, even if it's small. 89 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it also, though, obviously helps to have 90 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:33,240 Speaker 1: a co host, like doing this with another person and 91 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:36,719 Speaker 1: just throwing this out there as podcast advice for people. 92 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 1: Having a co host allows you to make an episode 93 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:44,280 Speaker 1: out of just having a conversation, which is helpful if 94 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,040 Speaker 1: you are not going to be able to script things 95 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:50,040 Speaker 1: very closely because of time constraints or something like that. 96 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: It also means that we can fill in for each other, 97 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:56,080 Speaker 1: so you know, if like person A has had a 98 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 1: baby recently, person B could do a few episodes and 99 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,680 Speaker 1: then we'd all have some in the popper as well, 100 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 1: so you could go for a couple of weeks without 101 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 1: the person who just had a baby having to get 102 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 1: on the phone and record. So we fill in for 103 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 1: each other. We now alternate interviewing guests, which has definitely 104 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 1: helped our productivity on that we batch record, Like if 105 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,599 Speaker 1: we set a recording session, we'll often do two sometimes 106 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,479 Speaker 1: three episodes at a time. Will definitely do the intros 107 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,839 Speaker 1: and Q and as for guest episodes in these batching 108 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:27,720 Speaker 1: sessions so that we can go for a couple of 109 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 1: weeks of that, and yeah, doing things ahead of time, 110 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:35,480 Speaker 1: always having some episodes ready to go, because sometimes guests 111 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:36,080 Speaker 1: flake too. 112 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, guests definitely blake. I don't think I've ever 113 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 2: had a best of both World's guests actually not show up. 114 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 2: I have had one best laid plans guest that it 115 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 2: was her, like I asked her and she was super 116 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 2: enthusiastic and then just ghosted and ghosted. Have never heard 117 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,360 Speaker 2: of him her since I even bought her planner. 118 00:05:55,440 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 1: But ooh yeah, no, it happens or you know, and 119 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 1: sometimes not. It's not that they're always flake Like some 120 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 1: of you people get sick too and we have to 121 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 1: reschedule or something huge comes up, and you know where 122 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,920 Speaker 1: they're doing us a favor by being on the podcast, 123 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 1: so you know, we're we need to move it on that. 124 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 1: But you know, well, like when we were in Florida 125 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago, we recorded several and we 126 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,720 Speaker 1: didn't say when exactly they run, but so we were 127 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,119 Speaker 1: able to place them over the spring over the next 128 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:28,720 Speaker 1: couple months, you know, based on when guests had said 129 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:30,240 Speaker 1: yes and things like that. 130 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 2: The only thing you have to be careful about, which 131 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 2: we've learned perhaps the hard way is like you can't 132 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 2: go too far out or else maybe you'll have some 133 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:40,840 Speaker 2: fantastic travel episode that's going to air in like April 134 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 2: twenty twenty. 135 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 3: And then nobody wants to hear that, so well, I 136 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 3: think what we really we had this elaborate episode on 137 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,039 Speaker 3: like getting kids out the door in the morning, I 138 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 3: think is what we had, and then it was going. 139 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,280 Speaker 1: To air on like March twentieth, which is of course 140 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 1: when nobody was getting their kids out the door in 141 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:02,159 Speaker 1: the morning in twenty twenty. And so yeah, we had 142 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:07,560 Speaker 1: to reel that one back in and do some COVID 143 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,479 Speaker 1: related content for I wonder. 144 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 2: If everyone like still exists somewhere actually may data may. 145 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,240 Speaker 1: I don't know, dig it up, and I would be like, 146 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 1: I'm getting my person who is this year is old 147 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,640 Speaker 1: out the door. Sarah will talk about like my three 148 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 1: year old two year old. I'm like, wait, what happened? Anyway? 149 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 1: And we've also had fun, yeah, recording in person a 150 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 1: couple of times. That's most of this is virtual. We've 151 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: seen each other on Squadcast or the other programs we've 152 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 1: used so it's kind of like zoom. Now people know 153 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,880 Speaker 1: what that is they didn't know before March twenty twenty. 154 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 1: But we've also gotten together in person, which has been 155 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:42,320 Speaker 1: fun as well. 156 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think I think we're up to like 157 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 2: trying to do like two live recording sessions a year, 158 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 2: which is pretty cool because we can do them in 159 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 2: fun locations. You often come here where the weather is 160 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 2: bad up there. This year, maybe I'll even go north, 161 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 2: So yeah. 162 00:07:56,920 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 1: Be good'd be good. So we asked our Patreon community 163 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 1: to share with us if there had been any episodes 164 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 1: over the past six years that they felt had been 165 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: particularly impactful for them, and we got some interesting responses 166 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 1: because you know, they were good episodes, but I'm not 167 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 1: sure I would have nailed those as the ones that 168 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,880 Speaker 1: would have the most impact. But one with Gillian Goddard, 169 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 1: doctor Jillian Goddard on having an O pair. We had 170 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: several people talk about that one, right, yes. 171 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 2: And the cool thing about that was that the person 172 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 2: that brought it up on Patreon, I don't think she 173 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 2: realized that Gillian is also on Patreon and a pretty 174 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 2: frequent commenter as well, So I was like, hey, she's 175 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 2: right here, like she inspired you, and this person had 176 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 2: truly been inspired by Jillian and is now using all pairs, 177 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,720 Speaker 2: and she said she wouldn't have even thought of that 178 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 2: possibility if not for the episode, So that was pretty awesome. 179 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, we had it now that very early on. I 180 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,599 Speaker 1: think it was one of our first handful of episodes. 181 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,320 Speaker 1: We had one called why we each have more than 182 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 1: two kids or something like that. This was when we 183 00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 1: hadn't figured out how to name podcasts yet. And I 184 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:05,480 Speaker 1: think there may be some babies out there who are 185 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 1: a result that episode. 186 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,320 Speaker 2: I would not doubt it. I also feel like anybody 187 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 2: who's like interested in listening to that episode probably already 188 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,960 Speaker 2: in their heart wants more than two kids. But if 189 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 2: we were what helped them feel empowered to move forward 190 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,360 Speaker 2: with their dreams, that makes me super super happy. 191 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:26,360 Speaker 1: Yay. We like babies here. We like big families here. 192 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,600 Speaker 1: Obviously totally cool to have smaller families, but if you 193 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:31,480 Speaker 1: want a bigger one, we are here to cheer you on. 194 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:35,640 Speaker 1: Maybe we will revisit that topic in the future. And 195 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:38,520 Speaker 1: we also had a couple of people mentioned this talking 196 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 1: about ages and stages that simply hearing about what is 197 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 1: good or expected or what you're thinking of for different 198 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 1: ages of your kids. It's helpful as they then move 199 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:52,880 Speaker 1: into those stages. 200 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 2: Someone mentioned that we talked about like doing Disney at 201 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,800 Speaker 2: age three, and I'm like, I don't remember that conversation, 202 00:09:57,840 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 2: but that is our family policy. You get to go 203 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:02,079 Speaker 2: to Disney at age three. Are actually really you should 204 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 2: do it at two and three hundred and sixty four 205 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,679 Speaker 2: at a three hundred and sixty five days because it's 206 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:06,840 Speaker 2: free until you're three. 207 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 1: That's true. So wait, going at age three is the worst, right, right, 208 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 1: Like three days prior three days prior, you should go 209 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,560 Speaker 1: to Disney or else. Just wait till you're four or 210 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:20,840 Speaker 1: five and can handle being in the sun and waiting 211 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:24,280 Speaker 1: in line a little bit better. I've had a surprising 212 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,840 Speaker 1: number of people mentioned to me my family rule of 213 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: that you make your own lunch after age eight. And 214 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:34,000 Speaker 1: originally this had been because I had three kids over 215 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,880 Speaker 1: age eight that I didn't want to deal with their lunches, 216 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:37,720 Speaker 1: and so I was like, yeah, you know, we'll say eight. 217 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:41,560 Speaker 1: But then Alex turned eight, and I will say that 218 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 1: the rule has held. He has in fact begun making 219 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:49,680 Speaker 1: his lunch. He does it with you know, it's probably 220 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,839 Speaker 1: not what I would make. But that's fine. We start 221 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,439 Speaker 1: to make our own choices and make our own way 222 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,560 Speaker 1: in the world. But I suspect there are a number 223 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 1: of eight year olds out there who are now having 224 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,440 Speaker 1: to make their own life lunches just because there's a 225 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,680 Speaker 1: family role. And that sounded good to somebody who's really 226 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:07,600 Speaker 1: tired of making their eight year old's lunch. So I'm 227 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,600 Speaker 1: sorry eight year olds, but this is a learning and 228 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 1: growing experience for you, and you can hopefully have more 229 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:15,400 Speaker 1: control over what you're eating and choose what you like 230 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 1: if this is within your wheelhouse. 231 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 2: Now, I love it, And we also have to share 232 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,959 Speaker 2: the quote that one of our listeners wanted to put 233 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 2: on a sampler, or maybe you wanted to put it 234 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:24,920 Speaker 2: on a sample well. 235 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:24,959 Speaker 3: So. 236 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,520 Speaker 1: One of our listeners told us that, you know quotes 237 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 1: that we've said in the past, and I had forgotten 238 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,679 Speaker 1: saying this, but I agree it's a good one. That 239 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:38,040 Speaker 1: we're talking about various parenting things you're supposed to do 240 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 1: according to the parenting books. And I joked at, oh, 241 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,640 Speaker 1: I guess that kid hasn't read the parenting books. 242 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,320 Speaker 2: You've said that more than once, and I love it is. 243 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:48,680 Speaker 2: So it is so true. It is what I have 244 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,880 Speaker 2: certainly found in my own life where it was like 245 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,560 Speaker 2: but that was supposed to work. 246 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 1: I all the examples it did and in mine anyway. 247 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:02,360 Speaker 2: So I think it's a gem. And if we had merch, 248 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,680 Speaker 2: we could sell a. 249 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 1: T shirt, a cross stitch sampler, a mug that says, 250 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: my kid didn't read your parenting book, because it's true. 251 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,959 Speaker 1: They are their own little people. And that's that's advice 252 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,720 Speaker 1: you can take from this podcast as well, that you 253 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,520 Speaker 1: know your kid may not react in the way that 254 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: other people say your kid will react. And that's not 255 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,200 Speaker 1: that your kid is broken, it's just your kid is 256 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:32,679 Speaker 1: different and your kid didn't read their parenting books. 257 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 2: So even the way your first kid reacted or your 258 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,840 Speaker 2: second kid reacted totally different. 259 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,920 Speaker 1: Yes, well, so we're going to take a quick ad break. 260 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 1: But after that, you know, after this little bit of retrospective, 261 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:45,640 Speaker 1: were me talking a little bit more about lists of 262 00:12:45,640 --> 00:13:00,680 Speaker 1: one hundred dreams. So we'll be back in just a minute. Well, 263 00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:03,880 Speaker 1: we are back with our three hundredth episode of Best 264 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,960 Speaker 1: of Both Worlds. We're talking a little bit about how 265 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:10,959 Speaker 1: we do this podcast. Certain episodes that listeners tell us 266 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:15,040 Speaker 1: have been impactful. If you have fond memories of a 267 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,560 Speaker 1: particular episode, or hey, if there's a particular episode you 268 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:20,320 Speaker 1: just hated, feel free to let us know. You can 269 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:24,840 Speaker 1: reach me Laura, Laura vandercam dot com. You know what 270 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,280 Speaker 1: is it? You could say yours? 271 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:29,360 Speaker 2: Oh well, any of them. But you can use Sarah 272 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 2: with an h dot rt HRT dot unger at gmail 273 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:36,240 Speaker 2: dot com, or lab a blog comment, or use the 274 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:40,080 Speaker 2: cell phone on my best laid plans reach me anyway 275 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,200 Speaker 2: you want. It's a Google voice, so don't worry Google 276 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:43,839 Speaker 2: in the middle. 277 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 1: Two am, Okay, it's fine. Yeah, so we'd love to 278 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: hear about it. So pivoting a little bit to the 279 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:52,520 Speaker 1: list of one hundred dreams. I mean, normally we do 280 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 1: this kind of looking forward. But it turns out that 281 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,800 Speaker 1: we have both made list of one hundred dreams in 282 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:02,959 Speaker 1: the past. Sarah, you made one in twenty thirteen, correct. 283 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 2: Yes, And I think that might be the last one 284 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,880 Speaker 2: I made, although we did an episode talking about this 285 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,560 Speaker 2: in like twenty eighteen, and I'm sure I did like 286 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:10,800 Speaker 2: a revised version, but I couldn't find any evidence of that, 287 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 2: which is a caveat about planning on paper. It is 288 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,480 Speaker 2: hard to search for a document if it was just 289 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:20,320 Speaker 2: in some random notebook somewhere. But yeah, so, what was 290 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 2: on your twenty thirteen list that you've done? 291 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 1: Like, just give us a handful. 292 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 2: A lot of things I had done. I mean I 293 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,920 Speaker 2: had written things like past my boards and guess what, guys, 294 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,320 Speaker 2: I passed my boards and I don't really like think 295 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 2: about that, but I guess that was a good thing 296 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,600 Speaker 2: to do. I wanted to join or make a book club, 297 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,400 Speaker 2: which I totally did. I joined one in Miami Beach 298 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,440 Speaker 2: and then made my own up here. We're meeting next week. 299 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,400 Speaker 2: I wanted to redesign the blog, which did happen. I 300 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,360 Speaker 2: hired a WordPress person a couple of years ago. I 301 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,720 Speaker 2: wanted to meditate. I do meditate pretty regularly. The jury 302 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 2: is out on whether I have cultivated a cute wardrobe, 303 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:59,200 Speaker 2: but maybe pretty cute, I think. Yeah, So I don't 304 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:02,160 Speaker 2: know i'd I didn't. I definitely didn't like do everything 305 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 2: on the list, but I actually did more than I 306 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:07,080 Speaker 2: might have thought, so I'm happy about that. 307 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 1: That's cool. Yeah, I made a couple. I made one 308 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:13,840 Speaker 1: in twenty ten, I made one in twenty fifteen. I 309 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 1: think I made one in twenty eighteen. I think the 310 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 1: twenty fifteen one is most sort of relevant because it's 311 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,520 Speaker 1: like I was. I was kind of in Pennsylvania, like 312 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 1: had my life here, had the four kids, so you know, 313 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:29,040 Speaker 1: it was sort of in that mindset. So I was 314 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:31,320 Speaker 1: thinking of things that I pull off off. That one. 315 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:36,040 Speaker 1: I took a fall trip to Yellowstone. I had been 316 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 1: to Yellowstone at that point and loved it, but wanted 317 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 1: to see it in the fall. I don't know if 318 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 1: i'd read Selene at that point or something. I wanted 319 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:46,680 Speaker 1: to get the changing season. So a couple of years 320 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 1: ago I took the three big kids to the Yellowstone 321 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,480 Speaker 1: in the fall, and that was really cool. It was 322 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,760 Speaker 1: actually well, it was during COVID and everyone had canceled 323 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,520 Speaker 1: their reservation, so we got to stay in Old Faithful 324 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:59,240 Speaker 1: Lodge looking right out over Old Faithful. So that's pretty 325 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,160 Speaker 1: cool wake up and see it going off. That was 326 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:06,600 Speaker 1: definitely a bucket list type thing. I had said that 327 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 1: I wanted to have a better garden, and in the 328 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:14,920 Speaker 1: course of time since twenty fifteen, we bought and renovated 329 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:18,040 Speaker 1: a historic house that in fact has a real garden. 330 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,360 Speaker 1: It has a stone wall around it in the way 331 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 1: that Pennsylvania sometimes does, so a little tiny courtyard garden. 332 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:29,880 Speaker 1: It's really cool. So that's something that we've done. You know, 333 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 1: I wanted to do more cool speaking engagements, and in 334 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,600 Speaker 1: the course of that twenty fifteen Ford I got to 335 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:39,040 Speaker 1: do a Ted talk, which was pretty fun and good 336 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 1: for my career having that video out there. So yeah, 337 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,400 Speaker 1: a couple of things that happened from that, which is 338 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,080 Speaker 1: always good to go back and look at those lists, 339 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:51,480 Speaker 1: because sometimes we don't give us ourselves credit for things 340 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 1: we've done, like passing the boards that's actually a pretty 341 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:55,200 Speaker 1: large thing. 342 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, you're right, and it's funny. 343 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 3: I was. 344 00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 2: I was looking at my list and I'm like, why 345 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 2: does it keep mentioning animal and none of the other kids. 346 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, she was the only one who 347 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,800 Speaker 2: was there. She was the only one alive. But I 348 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,280 Speaker 2: had some parenting aspirations on there too that ended up 349 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:11,439 Speaker 2: working out, like having my kid choose their destination for 350 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 2: a trip, Like now we're living that reality. 351 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:14,879 Speaker 1: Yeah. 352 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:19,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think these lists are super useful. I in 353 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:23,120 Speaker 2: my whole nested goals method that I teach in buslaid 354 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:26,600 Speaker 2: plans and bustleid plans, Academy, et cetera. I'm really big 355 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:30,160 Speaker 2: on not forgetting your big lists, like your yearly list, 356 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 2: in particular to revisit that every season. But I've never 357 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:38,119 Speaker 2: thought about like having people do a much much longer range, 358 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,520 Speaker 2: like ten year list. And I almost feel like I'm 359 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 2: having this idea, like as we're recording this, but like 360 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 2: that needs to be a higher rung that you look 361 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 2: at at least every year as you're doing your annual list. So, yeah, 362 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,439 Speaker 2: I do think it might have been nicer to look 363 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 2: at that twenty thirteen list more often than I actually did. 364 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 1: I say, I need to re listen to our goals 365 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,280 Speaker 1: episode for this year so that when we record our 366 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,359 Speaker 1: mid year goal, I'm to make sure that if there 367 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,680 Speaker 1: was any random stuff on there that I forgot could 368 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,520 Speaker 1: make happen. I don't know, go see more music outdoors. 369 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,360 Speaker 1: I think I always say something like that, but we'll 370 00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:12,760 Speaker 1: find out, all right. So Sarah, we you know, we've 371 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:16,719 Speaker 1: kind of been revisiting our lists, like updating them the 372 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:20,000 Speaker 1: next six years over the next three hundred episodes of 373 00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:23,480 Speaker 1: Best of Both Worlds. What will be on your list 374 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 1: that you think you'll do in the next six years. 375 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's going to be really good six years. 376 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,800 Speaker 2: Like I'm super into the stage of life. I'm in 377 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 2: the career track, I'm in my kids ages, et cetera. 378 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,639 Speaker 2: So I'm very much looking forward to this phase. The 379 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,119 Speaker 2: things I came up with, I think you said it 380 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:43,320 Speaker 2: come up with six to ten, so I I did 381 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:47,479 Speaker 2: aim for that number. Qualify for Boston Marathon. I mean 382 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,520 Speaker 2: that's that is more of an outcome type of goal 383 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,680 Speaker 2: than a process goal. But I'm hoping it can happen, 384 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,920 Speaker 2: especially as I get older in the standards, get a 385 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:58,680 Speaker 2: little softer. Experience the Big Ser Marathon, so I don't 386 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,480 Speaker 2: have any time goals at that race, but I want 387 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 2: to go and experience the views and just like see it. 388 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,920 Speaker 2: I want to take a family vacation to another continent. 389 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,200 Speaker 2: I don't want to say out of the country because 390 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,640 Speaker 2: we've been to Canada a few times, but I want 391 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:14,639 Speaker 2: to get to another continent. I want to write a book. 392 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,639 Speaker 2: Bestad Plans coming your way, just kidding. I don't have 393 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,840 Speaker 2: any concrete plans, but hopefully someday grow my business so 394 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,200 Speaker 2: it's reliably producing half my income and leading to fun opportunities. 395 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:30,080 Speaker 2: Take one on one trips with each kid see Taylor Swift. 396 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,399 Speaker 1: Is it going to happen? Is it can happen? I 397 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:32,920 Speaker 1: don't know. 398 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,119 Speaker 2: I'm trying to make it. It could have, like if I 399 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,199 Speaker 2: like really wanted to make it a priority now, Like 400 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:42,080 Speaker 2: there are different avenues in which it could happen. But 401 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 2: it might not. We'll see. It might just have to 402 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,920 Speaker 2: wait till the next tour. If someone could tell me 403 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:51,120 Speaker 2: this was her last tour ever, I would absolutely go. 404 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 2: And I mean part of me feels like, well, I 405 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,360 Speaker 2: might not live after this year. So if that's my attitude, 406 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,399 Speaker 2: I should just go. But like, I don't know. I'm 407 00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,840 Speaker 2: struggling with that one. But I want to do it 408 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,399 Speaker 2: a east in the next ten years, sixty. 409 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,320 Speaker 1: You know, it's funny. There's a Brad Paisley song called 410 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 1: Last Time for Everything. 411 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:07,200 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's a good song. 412 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,800 Speaker 1: And it's a good song. And you know, you don't 413 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:12,000 Speaker 1: necessarily know when you were doing something that it is 414 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,360 Speaker 1: the last time you'll ever do it. But stuff happens, 415 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:19,440 Speaker 1: and then you know, I say, carry, I can't love 416 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,960 Speaker 1: your entire life thinking that way. This could be the 417 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 1: last time I load the dishwasher. 418 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,119 Speaker 2: Could be that it wouldn't be that sad about but 419 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:33,119 Speaker 2: I'm going to throw some parties. So this is airing 420 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,480 Speaker 2: after our parties episode, so I'm inspired by my own 421 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,880 Speaker 2: podcast episode. I guess I want to spend an entire 422 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,040 Speaker 2: day at a spa. This was on my twenty thirteen list. 423 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,119 Speaker 2: It has not yet happened. I feel like it can happen, 424 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:47,040 Speaker 2: and then why has it happened? I don't know. 425 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,479 Speaker 1: Do you want to want to spend all day at 426 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,200 Speaker 1: a spa? That's I guess that's the question. 427 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,720 Speaker 2: I mean kind of, I want to get at least 428 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 2: like I've gotten two treatments. 429 00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:58,800 Speaker 1: This is terrible. 430 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,159 Speaker 2: I feel like this is so indulgent. I've gotten like 431 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,879 Speaker 2: a facial en massage at the same time, like on 432 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,679 Speaker 2: my birthday before. I think if I could add in 433 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:05,480 Speaker 2: one other. 434 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,000 Speaker 1: Thing, what else would you even do? 435 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:09,720 Speaker 2: What have my nails done? 436 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:13,440 Speaker 1: Maybe? So I'm trying to think, is it even possible 437 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,439 Speaker 1: to spend like? I mean, you have to eat, so 438 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 1: you have to go like or get order in. I 439 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:18,320 Speaker 1: guess may. 440 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,720 Speaker 2: Fancy spa packages will feed you well if you I've 441 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 2: never done this, I've only read about it, but it 442 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,000 Speaker 2: is I think all. 443 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,240 Speaker 1: Day at a spot it would mean like nine to three, 444 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 1: Like this is not like all day like no, next 445 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:33,000 Speaker 1: in the morning, night, no, So we're just talking. Well, 446 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,479 Speaker 1: you kind of then have done much of it, right, 447 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,960 Speaker 1: You've been there for like three hours, You've gotten much 448 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:39,360 Speaker 1: of that. 449 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,680 Speaker 2: Maybe I could check it off. I have done massage 450 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,760 Speaker 2: and facial on a couple occasions on my birthday, that's 451 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,160 Speaker 2: but it wasn't all day, Okay, So to. 452 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:48,960 Speaker 1: Get to all day you just need like that extra 453 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:50,640 Speaker 1: hour or two and eat lunch there. 454 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:52,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, that sounds nice. 455 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:53,640 Speaker 1: Okay, all right. 456 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,600 Speaker 2: I want to see fall foliage at peaks somewhere amazing. 457 00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:59,399 Speaker 2: I mean I have done that in my life, certainly 458 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,359 Speaker 2: I went to call and like saw it every single 459 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:05,920 Speaker 2: day for like months. But I want to see it 460 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,159 Speaker 2: again in my adult life, and then I want to 461 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,000 Speaker 2: This is from twenty thirteen. I just want to quote myself, 462 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:15,120 Speaker 2: and I wrote maintain an organized home without excess stuff, 463 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:16,600 Speaker 2: which I think is funny because I think I meant 464 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,360 Speaker 2: at tain because I don't think I would it was then, 465 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:24,400 Speaker 2: But no, maybe I did. Maybe I condoed it up 466 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,920 Speaker 2: and felt good. But yeah, that's still on my list. 467 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 1: It's still on the list. How's the process going. It's 468 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:31,640 Speaker 1: actually good. 469 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:35,400 Speaker 2: I did a major declutter of two kids rooms last 470 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,800 Speaker 2: weekend and it like, I feel like it helped me 471 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:38,639 Speaker 2: with my momentum. 472 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:39,640 Speaker 1: So good, good. 473 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,520 Speaker 2: I'm excited glad to hear it. 474 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:44,639 Speaker 1: It's a work in process for us, is work in 475 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:45,760 Speaker 1: progress for us as well. 476 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,760 Speaker 2: I'm excited to hear yours. Yours are juicy, yours are 477 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:49,479 Speaker 2: super juicy. 478 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,719 Speaker 1: All right, Well, I have a couple I want to 479 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:58,480 Speaker 1: listen to all the works of Buck and longtime listeners 480 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,320 Speaker 1: know that I tend to have a yearly project. This year, 481 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:03,760 Speaker 1: I'm reading through all the works of Jane Austen. Year 482 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 1: before I read through all the works of Shakespeare. So 483 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:09,480 Speaker 1: I'm thinking that twenty twenty four might be the year 484 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,880 Speaker 1: that I listened to all the works of Bach. I'm 485 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:17,159 Speaker 1: still sorting out exactly how that would work. I understand 486 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 1: that there are about one hundred and seventy five hours 487 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:26,320 Speaker 1: of music recorded that there are recordings of, like there 488 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:31,280 Speaker 1: are performances of so work that survived. He wrote more 489 00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:35,119 Speaker 1: but it you know, it got lost to time. But 490 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,040 Speaker 1: there's about one hundred and seventy five hours work, which 491 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:38,640 Speaker 1: atually works out really well because that's like three hours 492 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,360 Speaker 1: a week. So it would be thirty minutes a day. 493 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,359 Speaker 1: That's probably doable. It's a little bit more than the 494 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 1: reading is better, I think it could. You know, I 495 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:50,000 Speaker 1: can't read while driving my car and I can listen 496 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,840 Speaker 1: to music, so that should that should do it. There 497 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:56,719 Speaker 1: are some even like packages like CDs like two hundred 498 00:23:56,760 --> 00:24:00,320 Speaker 1: CDs to get all the works of Bach. The problem 499 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:04,160 Speaker 1: is you have whatever recordings they chose to go with, 500 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,280 Speaker 1: and that is going to tick me off. If it's 501 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,240 Speaker 1: a really bad recording of like the Brandenburg Concertos, or 502 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 1: if it's a you know, the Bock b Minor Mass 503 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,480 Speaker 1: or whatever, like I'm gonna be upset if if that's 504 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,400 Speaker 1: what I'm listening to. So I have to go in 505 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 1: and do this a little bit more manually, but it 506 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:24,240 Speaker 1: should be doable. So and hopefully there's some like Bach 507 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,879 Speaker 1: expert out there has already like curated a list like this, 508 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:31,440 Speaker 1: So if anyone has that of what somebody who knows 509 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:35,240 Speaker 1: Bach has argued are the best recordings of his works, 510 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,280 Speaker 1: let me know. I already gave my email. Once I 511 00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:42,560 Speaker 1: can give it again, Laura Vanderkamner, come let me know anyway. 512 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:44,720 Speaker 1: You know, I want to sing in the b minor mass. 513 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,520 Speaker 1: I hope to do it in the next six years. 514 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,240 Speaker 1: This is a lot harder to pull off on your 515 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:53,640 Speaker 1: own because you can buy yourself a plane ticket somewhere. 516 00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:58,240 Speaker 1: It is a lot harder to generate an orchestra and 517 00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:03,119 Speaker 1: acquire and a performance venue and all that. So I 518 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:06,000 Speaker 1: hope to find or have my choir do it, or 519 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,760 Speaker 1: have a choir around here. Somebody's looking for ringers to 520 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,440 Speaker 1: help them sing. Maybe a college needs more singers, and 521 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,440 Speaker 1: I can find that they're performing it again. People can 522 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,760 Speaker 1: let me know. Something in you know, within an hour 523 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 1: of Philly is doing it and they need singers. Let 524 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 1: me know and I'll come sing it. Because I keep 525 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,280 Speaker 1: trying to sing it and I keep missing out. 526 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:25,960 Speaker 2: I don't think you should limit yourself to within an 527 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,879 Speaker 2: hour of Philly. You will fly well, I mean, but 528 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,680 Speaker 2: I'd have to go to rehearsals, right, That's the thing. 529 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,240 Speaker 2: So it'd have to be like you know, people were. 530 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,880 Speaker 2: The problem is you really have to rehearse it. It's 531 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 2: not an easy one to sing off the cuff. 532 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:42,520 Speaker 1: With a group. Okay, yeah, not like a Messiah sing 533 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:49,159 Speaker 1: along type thing. But anyway, all right, I want to 534 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:50,919 Speaker 1: go to New Zealand, and that may happen in the 535 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,720 Speaker 1: next six years. I'm putting it out there. Hey, maybe 536 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,280 Speaker 1: someone's got a conference requiring a keynote speaker on time 537 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,919 Speaker 1: management that's like hosted in Auckland, in which case I 538 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 1: can fly for JFK to Auckland direct. Now I looked, 539 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:08,760 Speaker 1: it's a long flight, it's like seventeen hours, but that's 540 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:10,920 Speaker 1: on the list. I've never been I would like to go. 541 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:17,040 Speaker 1: I want to take a trip to Utah's national parks. 542 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,359 Speaker 1: So I think there are five national parks in Utah. 543 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:26,680 Speaker 1: They are cool looking, they are well known parks, and 544 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,520 Speaker 1: them being that many in one location as possible to 545 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,399 Speaker 1: do more than one, obviously, you need to kind of 546 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,399 Speaker 1: have a longer period of time to do that. So 547 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:38,400 Speaker 1: maybe that's more like two trips. But that is, you know, 548 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,800 Speaker 1: a domestic trip that I think would be fun to 549 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:46,600 Speaker 1: take some summer or spring. I'm going to take a 550 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,119 Speaker 1: writing retreat. I will do this this summer for a 551 00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:53,000 Speaker 1: couple of days. But I actually found a somebody heard 552 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,399 Speaker 1: me talking about this elsewhere or writing about this, and 553 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,920 Speaker 1: wrote me that there is something called the Highlights Foundation. 554 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,760 Speaker 1: If people know about the Highlights magazine for children. There's 555 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:06,879 Speaker 1: a Highlights Foundation and they have a writing retreat center 556 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:11,479 Speaker 1: in the Poconos that people go and the cabins are 557 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,200 Speaker 1: all set up for that and they feed you meals, 558 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:16,000 Speaker 1: and so maybe I'll do that sometime. The dates I 559 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,760 Speaker 1: wanted for the summer booked, oh well, but some other time. 560 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:23,560 Speaker 1: And I want to create some miniature scenes, so I 561 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,840 Speaker 1: have a little living room on the shelf next to 562 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:30,639 Speaker 1: my computer. I've recently found that Etsy has a lot 563 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 1: of dollhouse furniture, so I might be able to start 564 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,320 Speaker 1: going through there. I was really hoping to find like 565 00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 1: a dollhouse store around here so I could just go 566 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:41,000 Speaker 1: buy in person. I haven't really found anything yet, so 567 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:44,200 Speaker 1: I'm still in the look look out for that. But yeah, 568 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,879 Speaker 1: that's on there. And then maybe go to a seventy 569 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:50,280 Speaker 1: six ers game that should be easy. That should be 570 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:53,960 Speaker 1: relatively easy check check not anymore right now as the playoffs, 571 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,640 Speaker 1: but next year, next season. 572 00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,400 Speaker 2: We go to Heat games. They're pretty fun. 573 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's why I want to go. I agree. 574 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,879 Speaker 1: I agree. So okay, Sarah, some stuff that you know, 575 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,760 Speaker 1: wild card not in the next six years, not looking 576 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:09,040 Speaker 1: for it in the next six years. What are you 577 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:10,000 Speaker 1: going to do yes. 578 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:13,800 Speaker 2: So my wild card this one. I'm I'm like really 579 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,040 Speaker 2: dedicated to doing it in my lifetime. I just wasn't 580 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,199 Speaker 2: sure if it will be next six years. Would be 581 00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:24,800 Speaker 2: go stationary shopping in Japan, preferably around Hobunichi release time, 582 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:27,119 Speaker 2: because I think it'd be so fun to go to 583 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,920 Speaker 2: the stores where they actually sell it in person. There's 584 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:32,120 Speaker 2: a lot of hype, there's a lot of build up 585 00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:35,080 Speaker 2: and like actually put my hands all the different covers 586 00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:38,320 Speaker 2: and stuff. Actually had a recent like blog reader send 587 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 2: me pictures of like stationary shopping in Japan. I'm like, 588 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:41,719 Speaker 2: I must make this happen. 589 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,320 Speaker 1: You should well. I looked into the Newark Tokyo flight, 590 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,760 Speaker 1: by the way, is about thirteen and a half hours, 591 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:52,040 Speaker 1: so nothing, nothing, It's like four hours less than Auckland. 592 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,400 Speaker 2: The hardest part about Japan is a time difference is 593 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,240 Speaker 2: like almost exactly twelve hours, Like it couldn't be any worse, 594 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:00,640 Speaker 2: which I know because my roommate from there and she'd 595 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,400 Speaker 2: go back and forth and like be completely backwards. Like 596 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,640 Speaker 2: it's hard, but I'm gonna make it happen. I want 597 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 2: to take Josh and I would like when we're old 598 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,560 Speaker 2: to take a European river cruise, like we're into this 599 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 2: for ourselves. And then I want to run an ultra, 600 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,680 Speaker 2: like up a mountain or something, so that would be 601 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:18,840 Speaker 2: longer than a marathon, probably like a fifty k. Like 602 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 2: I won't go crazy and do like a fifty mile 603 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,160 Speaker 2: or something, but I don't know. I kind of feel like, 604 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,760 Speaker 2: after I like get the marathony stuff out of my system, 605 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,240 Speaker 2: that would be fun. And for anybody that doesn't know 606 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:31,160 Speaker 2: like an ultra the difference, well, yes it's longer, but 607 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,280 Speaker 2: it tends to be run more in like natural settings, 608 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:37,480 Speaker 2: and the emphasis is not so much on pace, so 609 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:39,880 Speaker 2: you're not like killing yourselves for thirty miles because then 610 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:44,560 Speaker 2: you probably wouldn't finish. Tends to be more like meandering 611 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:48,120 Speaker 2: and breaks and like just kind of like experiencing it 612 00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:49,960 Speaker 2: in a way rather than running for a specific time 613 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:54,080 Speaker 2: or qualification. So I could see that being like a 614 00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:58,320 Speaker 2: future running life of mine, perhaps maybe when the kids 615 00:29:58,320 --> 00:29:59,040 Speaker 2: are like old. 616 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:02,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I'm taking marathons and anything like that 617 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,680 Speaker 1: off any future lists of one hundred James. I think 618 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:10,440 Speaker 1: I'm done with that idea. I still run just the distance, 619 00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:16,320 Speaker 1: the long distance thing not so appealing well, so maybe 620 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 1: not in the next six years, but at some point 621 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,800 Speaker 1: I want to commission a a cappella work, you know, 622 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 1: for choir or for choir in a single instrument, because 623 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,120 Speaker 1: there's actually quite a gap and sort of the choral 624 00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:34,240 Speaker 1: literature for like a performance links piece that a choir 625 00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,680 Speaker 1: could do that they don't have a huge budget for 626 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:42,680 Speaker 1: like an orchestra, and so there's a couple, but there's 627 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,000 Speaker 1: not that many. So I think it would be cool 628 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,080 Speaker 1: to have more of these out in the world so 629 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:48,800 Speaker 1: that it would be for it would be a cappella 630 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,280 Speaker 1: or a single instrument, so it would be an affordable 631 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:55,800 Speaker 1: work that choirs could do as pretty much a single performance. 632 00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:01,600 Speaker 1: I want to write a really big book, like an epic. 633 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:04,200 Speaker 1: And there's a quote. I've had a great quote from 634 00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,880 Speaker 1: Annie Dillard that was rereading The Writing Life the other day, 635 00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:08,920 Speaker 1: and you know, everyone knows the line about how we 636 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,480 Speaker 1: spend our hours is how we spend our lives or whatever, 637 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,640 Speaker 1: which has a lot of ramifications for time management. But 638 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,920 Speaker 1: she has another quote there there she says, writing sentences 639 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:22,000 Speaker 1: is difficult, whatever they're subject. It is no less difficult 640 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,920 Speaker 1: to write sentences in a recipe than sentences in Moby Dick, 641 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:29,360 Speaker 1: so you might as well write Moby Dick. So there 642 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:29,680 Speaker 1: you go. 643 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:34,120 Speaker 2: Is this an epic nonfiction work or an epic. 644 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:37,360 Speaker 1: I would see a maybe fiction. I think fiction because 645 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:40,320 Speaker 1: I don't know that anyone would I could create an 646 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,840 Speaker 1: epic nonfiction right now. I just like publish all my 647 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:46,000 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast episode scripts and then i'd have you know, 648 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:49,800 Speaker 1: there's a thousand of them. They are five hundred, six 649 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:51,800 Speaker 1: hundred words apiece. So there you go. That's the length 650 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:52,480 Speaker 1: of war and peace. 651 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,400 Speaker 2: That reminds me of when my husband suggested printing out 652 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,520 Speaker 2: my blog, and I'm like, I don't think we have 653 00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,120 Speaker 2: room for that. 654 00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:05,240 Speaker 1: Yes, can. And our minimalist goal right attain and maintain 655 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 1: an orderly home, and we have this ten foot tall 656 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,400 Speaker 1: staff of exact paper. 657 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:12,760 Speaker 2: Awesome. 658 00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,240 Speaker 1: And then maybe I'll reread all the works of Shakespeare. 659 00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:17,560 Speaker 1: But that's going to be a few years down the 660 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:20,960 Speaker 1: line in terms of a project, because I just did 661 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,000 Speaker 1: that last year. So when I do it again, I 662 00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:25,760 Speaker 1: want to have a little space between it. All, right, 663 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:30,320 Speaker 1: So let's move to our questions. Sestually I can read this, Sarah, 664 00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,080 Speaker 1: you want to answer it first? 665 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:32,280 Speaker 2: Here? 666 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:36,120 Speaker 1: Okay, So this listener writes that I have a four 667 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:37,800 Speaker 1: year old and a ten month old, and I am 668 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:40,720 Speaker 1: starting to think of how to encourage autonomy as they 669 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:43,680 Speaker 1: grow up without giving them too much responsibility at too 670 00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:45,600 Speaker 1: young of an age. I'm sorry this sort of funny 671 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,600 Speaker 1: thought with a ten month old, but okay, I know 672 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:50,760 Speaker 1: Laura has a rule in her house that once you 673 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,680 Speaker 1: are eight, you start packing your own lunches. Sorry eight 674 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 1: year olds. What are your approaches to the appropriate time 675 00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:00,720 Speaker 1: to introduce new responsibilities? For instance? And should kids be 676 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:03,960 Speaker 1: responsible for setting their own alarm, doing laundry, making breakfast, 677 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:07,120 Speaker 1: packing for school homework. I want to support my children 678 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:09,520 Speaker 1: without doing too much for them. So, Sarah, how do 679 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:12,400 Speaker 1: you sort of think about this? And you know, when 680 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:14,960 Speaker 1: are your kids going to be doing laundry? I think 681 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:19,960 Speaker 1: about this very holistically. I don't actually as much. I 682 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:21,000 Speaker 1: don't really have as. 683 00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:24,080 Speaker 2: Many kind of like deadlines and rules. It tends to 684 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 2: be when it like starts to make sense that someone's 685 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:31,440 Speaker 2: grating against having something done for them, that they become 686 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:34,280 Speaker 2: more into it, like I don't know, like for example, bedtime, 687 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:36,480 Speaker 2: that is when I kind of had to be like, okay, 688 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,280 Speaker 2: no one's lying next to you. Anymore, like learn to 689 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:40,320 Speaker 2: fall asleep, like deal with it. But it was at 690 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,160 Speaker 2: a point when I was just like, this just doesn't 691 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,760 Speaker 2: feel right anymore. I don't feel like doing it. And 692 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:48,080 Speaker 2: that's generally how it's been for most things. In fact, 693 00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:49,720 Speaker 2: like right now, we only have one kid that sets 694 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:52,840 Speaker 2: an alarm in the morning because they like just prefer 695 00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:54,600 Speaker 2: it that way and it like works, and then the 696 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,160 Speaker 2: others like we don't need it. But if we got 697 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,160 Speaker 2: to a point where it became very frustrating to wake 698 00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,520 Speaker 2: them up or just didn't like right, that's probably when 699 00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:05,080 Speaker 2: I would introduce it. So I also feel like my 700 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:08,680 Speaker 2: children are so different and actually in like kind of 701 00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,680 Speaker 2: unexpected ways, like certain kids are more independent than you 702 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,319 Speaker 2: might think in some I don't know that, I tend 703 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,000 Speaker 2: to be more individual about it. So I guess I 704 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,239 Speaker 2: would also just encourage you and as you were kind 705 00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:19,560 Speaker 2: of laughing and we're not laughing at you, like this 706 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:21,840 Speaker 2: is a very legitimate question and concern and like especially 707 00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:23,359 Speaker 2: going to the future. But at the same time, like 708 00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,560 Speaker 2: you may find that it's just sort of like unfolds 709 00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:31,080 Speaker 2: more obviously than you think at this juncture, because the 710 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,759 Speaker 2: truth is at this juncture, your kids probably are not 711 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:36,600 Speaker 2: going to be doing that much that's independent, but certain 712 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:38,680 Speaker 2: things will hit you. Like a four year old, for example, 713 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,920 Speaker 2: Let's say you notice them leaving their shoes all over 714 00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:43,520 Speaker 2: the place and that just doesn't sit well with you 715 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,960 Speaker 2: because you realize, you know what they can move their 716 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,480 Speaker 2: shoes to, like the side where we keep them. I'm 717 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,759 Speaker 2: just give you that as like a random thing. It's 718 00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,400 Speaker 2: going to just occur to you, and then when it does, 719 00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:55,280 Speaker 2: you can try it. And usually kids will actually enjoy 720 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,279 Speaker 2: doing something that's manageable and small and do it for 721 00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,960 Speaker 2: themselves and like not get nagged about it. So I 722 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:03,520 Speaker 2: guess I would say, like, it's great to think about it, 723 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,160 Speaker 2: but I wouldn't necessarily stress about it. Just like look 724 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,640 Speaker 2: for those little opportunities when things come up, and listen 725 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:10,759 Speaker 2: to yourself when it starts to just grade on you 726 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,840 Speaker 2: that you're doing something for a kid that like just 727 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:15,600 Speaker 2: doesn't quite feel right. That's usually my instinct to be 728 00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:17,520 Speaker 2: like time for some independence. 729 00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:23,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think a lot of this does unfold naturally, 730 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,800 Speaker 1: and it's also going to be different with your different kids, 731 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:29,160 Speaker 1: and especially as you have more of them and you 732 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:35,040 Speaker 1: see these personality differences that some kids want crave independence 733 00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,640 Speaker 1: from early on, and they may be willing to take 734 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:42,680 Speaker 1: various responsibilities in order to have that. I mean, one 735 00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,919 Speaker 1: of my children wanted to go to something and had 736 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:48,960 Speaker 1: not discussed it ahead of time. I guess to get 737 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,160 Speaker 1: it on the calendar. I don't know if he didn't 738 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,440 Speaker 1: know what was happening, but he had then sort of 739 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,319 Speaker 1: came to me as like, well, I've arranged a ride 740 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,200 Speaker 1: and I have money for it, and I'm like, okay, 741 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:03,279 Speaker 1: I guess you're going. So some kids are going to 742 00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,640 Speaker 1: be like that. Others need a little bit more handholding 743 00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,960 Speaker 1: in all sorts of areas, and then sometimes the sibling 744 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,239 Speaker 1: dynamic will kick in. I mean, I remember years ago 745 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:16,359 Speaker 1: when one child taught himself how to ride a bike 746 00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:20,440 Speaker 1: before an older child had necessarily figured that out. But 747 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:23,640 Speaker 1: as soon as said older child saw this, said older 748 00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:27,000 Speaker 1: child was like, oh, no way, and the bike was 749 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:31,960 Speaker 1: learned in thirty seconds. I mean, it was amazing. But 750 00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:36,799 Speaker 1: when the incentive is there, the motivation can kick in. 751 00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,160 Speaker 1: I also, you know, there's just a certain thing when 752 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:43,040 Speaker 1: you're in your parents' house, you often wind up doing 753 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:44,920 Speaker 1: things for them, and so sometimes it's good to have 754 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:47,319 Speaker 1: the kids be out of the house on their own 755 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,680 Speaker 1: in various ways. On One of the great upsides of 756 00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,640 Speaker 1: summer camp is they're going to have to learn how 757 00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,960 Speaker 1: to do certain things. And yes, they may not brush 758 00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,160 Speaker 1: their teeth as often as you would like them too 759 00:36:58,200 --> 00:36:59,960 Speaker 1: if they're off on summer camp, but probably they'll think 760 00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,520 Speaker 1: out they're like, oh, wait, somebody just told me my 761 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,160 Speaker 1: breast smell and I probably should do it more often, 762 00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:06,160 Speaker 1: or what. You know, they'll learn to set an alarm 763 00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:09,200 Speaker 1: if they're at say a summer camp that's a class 764 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,880 Speaker 1: because they have to get to class. They'll learn to 765 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:14,000 Speaker 1: do laundry if it's more than one week, because they'll 766 00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,000 Speaker 1: run out of clothes, and hopefully, you know, if you 767 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,960 Speaker 1: sent them with laundry pods, they figure it out doing that. 768 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,000 Speaker 1: You might need to FaceTime them to teach them how 769 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,920 Speaker 1: to do laundry, but probably they'll they'll learn at that. 770 00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:31,080 Speaker 1: I'm actually, you know, we had somebody mentioned the idea 771 00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:33,320 Speaker 1: of the upset of being in like a walkable neighborhood 772 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,680 Speaker 1: is you can actually give kids more independence when they 773 00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:37,960 Speaker 1: are younger in a way that you can't if your 774 00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:41,680 Speaker 1: neighborhood is more car based. And unfortunately we are in 775 00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:44,160 Speaker 1: a bit more place where you kind of have to 776 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:46,919 Speaker 1: have a car to go elsewhere. You can walk around 777 00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,360 Speaker 1: on our street and our kids will do that. But 778 00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:53,400 Speaker 1: I'm actually looking forward to going to the place where 779 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,280 Speaker 1: we go to the beach this summer for two weeks 780 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:57,239 Speaker 1: because it's a walkable town, and so I think the 781 00:37:57,239 --> 00:38:00,720 Speaker 1: older children will be able to have a lot more freedom, 782 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:02,520 Speaker 1: like you know, take your phone with you and stay 783 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:06,040 Speaker 1: within the boundaries of the town, but within that you 784 00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:09,040 Speaker 1: can kind of manage yourself. So I think that's good, 785 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,480 Speaker 1: especially for kids in the teenage years, to start having 786 00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:12,600 Speaker 1: more opportunities for that. 787 00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,360 Speaker 2: You just gave me like very powerful flashback memories of 788 00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:19,040 Speaker 2: going to the Jersey Shore with my like eleven year 789 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:23,040 Speaker 2: old bff and us going out to dinner by ourselves. Yeah, 790 00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:24,640 Speaker 2: we had a lot of independence and we didn't even 791 00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:26,680 Speaker 2: have cell phones and somehow we made it through. 792 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:31,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know it's good, and you know, 793 00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,799 Speaker 1: you might try having them help you with chores and 794 00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,920 Speaker 1: if they seem to like do a reasonable job with it, 795 00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:38,560 Speaker 1: you can start transferring more and more of the responsibility 796 00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:42,719 Speaker 1: for that to them. You know, certainly basic cooking if 797 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:44,160 Speaker 1: all you have to do is like turn on the 798 00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,279 Speaker 1: stove to boil water or turn on the oven. I 799 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:50,279 Speaker 1: think kids can do that for pretty certainly ten they 800 00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:52,239 Speaker 1: could start doing stuff like that, so they might be 801 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,799 Speaker 1: able to help with cooking. Emptying the dishwasher is a 802 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,840 Speaker 1: very easy thing. And if the cat kid is still short, 803 00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:00,600 Speaker 1: they can do the stuff that you keep down low, 804 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:02,560 Speaker 1: and another child can do the stuff that you keep 805 00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:05,799 Speaker 1: up high. So yeah, just sort of always looking for 806 00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,520 Speaker 1: what are ways they could be doing a little more 807 00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:13,000 Speaker 1: is good. Well, this has been best of both worlds. 808 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:16,600 Speaker 1: This has been our three hundredth episode. We talked about 809 00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:21,879 Speaker 1: how we have been organizing this podcast. You know some 810 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:25,240 Speaker 1: of people's favorite episodes, Please send us your favorite episodes 811 00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:27,279 Speaker 1: are one that made an impact on you. Talked about 812 00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:28,920 Speaker 1: what we've done in the last six years on our 813 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,880 Speaker 1: bucket lists, our list of one hundred dreams, what we 814 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:33,399 Speaker 1: want to do in the next six years. Hopefully keep 815 00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:36,279 Speaker 1: this podcast going for a while, right, Sarah, Right, what's 816 00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:37,640 Speaker 1: our your love of the week? 817 00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:41,840 Speaker 2: Our love of the week is the podcast and you guys, 818 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,480 Speaker 2: and just the fact that we've been able to keep 819 00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:48,239 Speaker 2: at this for three hundred It's awesome and honestly, it 820 00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:50,120 Speaker 2: probably wouldn't have happen if no one was listening to it, 821 00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:53,719 Speaker 2: So thank you for tuning in and being a part 822 00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:54,400 Speaker 2: of our journey. 823 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:56,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you so much for listening. And if you're 824 00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:59,560 Speaker 1: thinking how could I celebrate the three hundredth episode, there's 825 00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:02,120 Speaker 1: a couple things you can do. You could very quickly 826 00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,960 Speaker 1: go to if you're listening on Apple podcasts, go to 827 00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:07,520 Speaker 1: the page for our show on Apple Podcasts and quick 828 00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:10,000 Speaker 1: leave us a rating. If you hit that five stars 829 00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:12,160 Speaker 1: the five stars to give it five, it records that 830 00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:13,960 Speaker 1: you gave us a five star rating, and that helps 831 00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:16,360 Speaker 1: to show that there are lots of ratings for these shows. 832 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:19,080 Speaker 1: If you have a couple more minutes, you could quick 833 00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:22,879 Speaker 1: type us a review, anything that would help a prospective 834 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,759 Speaker 1: listener think that this would be a good show for them. 835 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,359 Speaker 1: So if you found something helpful, you might mention that 836 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,200 Speaker 1: that would be a very great review and we'd really 837 00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:33,960 Speaker 1: appreciate that. Or you're welcome. Please come join our Patreon community. 838 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:37,040 Speaker 1: We have so much fun our discussion boards. You know, 839 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:40,360 Speaker 1: we get thirty to forty comments on in a given post, 840 00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:44,680 Speaker 1: people sharing their experiences because it is a closed and 841 00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:47,359 Speaker 1: private group. I mean, for anyone who wants to join. 842 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,160 Speaker 1: But who's listening to this? You know, it's I think 843 00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:52,239 Speaker 1: it's a lot more positive than a lot of sort 844 00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,520 Speaker 1: of comment threads on social media, wouldn't you say so? 845 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it feels like a great social media 846 00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:00,000 Speaker 2: alternative in a way because there is that kind of 847 00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,960 Speaker 2: but it's it's like limited enough, like there's no endless 848 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:06,319 Speaker 2: scroll first of all, and it's a safe space and 849 00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:09,720 Speaker 2: we do periodic like meetups on Zoom, so we actually 850 00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:12,239 Speaker 2: do feel like there's like a like a real community 851 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:16,040 Speaker 2: aspect to it. So even though I askew social media 852 00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:18,719 Speaker 2: in general, I love doing our Patreon and I'm a 853 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:21,000 Speaker 2: member of a couple of other Patreons, and I found 854 00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:25,719 Speaker 2: it like a really fun way to connect without the 855 00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:28,040 Speaker 2: pressures that come with some of the other platforms. 856 00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:31,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely, so come join us there and the meantime, 857 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:33,160 Speaker 1: we'll be back next week with our three hundred and 858 00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:36,719 Speaker 1: first episode. This has been the best of both worlds. 859 00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:38,520 Speaker 1: We'll be back next week with more on making work 860 00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:39,360 Speaker 1: and life fit together. 861 00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:44,279 Speaker 2: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the 862 00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:48,680 Speaker 2: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, 863 00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:49,480 Speaker 2: and you. 864 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:53,680 Speaker 1: Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This 865 00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:57,000 Speaker 1: has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join 866 00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:59,840 Speaker 1: us next time for more on making work and life 867 00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:00,600 Speaker 1: work together.