WEBVTT - Miss Virgin

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<v Speaker 1>Misspelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. This is very

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<v Speaker 1>exciting for me. So here we are two iconic virgins

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<v Speaker 1>from TV. I played a virgin, Donna Martin on nine

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<v Speaker 1>O two and zero on scripted TV. You are an

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<v Speaker 1>actual virgin, and you're on TV on your new reality

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<v Speaker 1>show Virgins on TLC, premiering June ninth at nine pm.

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<v Speaker 1>I am super excited.

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<v Speaker 2>So am I?

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<v Speaker 1>Hi, Tori Heynali Wait, I know something you don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm curious what I got?

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<v Speaker 1>A screener? I know you haven't seen it yet. I

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<v Speaker 1>saw it.

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<v Speaker 2>I saw it a screener, a trailer.

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<v Speaker 1>You mean I saw that episode?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, lucky you. I'll have to wait one more week.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean you filmed. It's you know, I.

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<v Speaker 2>Haven't seen what actually made the final cut?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh right, right right?

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<v Speaker 2>Part of the journey.

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<v Speaker 1>Gosh, I don't know where I want to start. How

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<v Speaker 1>did they find you? How did TLC? Like?

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<v Speaker 2>I found them?

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<v Speaker 1>Actually I found them.

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<v Speaker 2>I found the casting breakdown on social media. Almost It's

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<v Speaker 2>been quite a journey. Life is a journey. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I saw it on social media and I applied, and

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<v Speaker 2>now here we are.

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<v Speaker 1>What did it say? Virgins wanted.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, oh they had an age bracket. And then if

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<v Speaker 2>you're looking for love, which I have been doing all

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<v Speaker 2>my life, if you know, if you're a virgin, and

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<v Speaker 2>we want to hear your story. And I was open

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<v Speaker 2>and authentic and vulnerable throughout the whole process. And yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>they loved me, I guess, and I love them. It's

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<v Speaker 2>been a wonderful experience.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, what if it had been like a

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<v Speaker 1>competition show and you didn't know, and like instead of

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<v Speaker 1>getting a rose at the end, like you get like

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<v Speaker 1>lube and they're like and here you go, you're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>lose your virginity.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I would have been fine with a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of alcohol. Just wasn't that a point in life where

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I'm all about new experiences and as long

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<v Speaker 2>as ye as long as it didn't cause any physical pain,

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<v Speaker 2>which who knows, I would have just gone at the floor.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm very concerned about your physical pain. I the end

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<v Speaker 1>of the first episode had me want I.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, you saw the first episode. I don't even know

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<v Speaker 2>what they filmed included in which episode yet. I'll find

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<v Speaker 2>out in a week. But listen, whatever physical pain issues

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<v Speaker 2>challenges I have or had or we'll see. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>I think childbirth and pregnancy I've heard is so much

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<v Speaker 2>more painful.

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<v Speaker 1>I know. If you're worried about a finger up there,

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<v Speaker 1>imagine a baby coming out of there. Not did it?

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<v Speaker 1>You can't even put a tampon up there.

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<v Speaker 2>No tampon success. I wasn't allowed to.

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<v Speaker 1>Write like I want to talk about that.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, let's chat.

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<v Speaker 1>No disrespect to your family, but do you feel like

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<v Speaker 1>your strict upbringing has impacted you emotionally psychologically?

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<v Speaker 2>So let me backtrack and okay, yeah, concise as possible.

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<v Speaker 2>I was born and raised in America, yes, to immigrant

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<v Speaker 2>folks from India. At home, it was the Indian world.

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<v Speaker 2>At school, in the New Jersey public school system, it

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<v Speaker 2>was the American world. My parents themselves had an arranged marriage.

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<v Speaker 2>They were virtually strangers when they got married. My father

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<v Speaker 2>is older, he was the breadwinner. Both my folks are

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<v Speaker 2>retired now and my parents, my well intentioned parents, raised

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<v Speaker 2>me as if we were in some Indian village because

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<v Speaker 2>that's all they knew. So yeah, growing up, I was

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<v Speaker 2>forbidden from dating, socializing, no sleepovers, no prom no college dorming,

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<v Speaker 2>because what do college kids do on campus? Do hanky panky.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what my dad said.

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<v Speaker 1>On campus. It can happen anywhere.

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<v Speaker 2>No, well, and you know I'm not so. And then

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<v Speaker 2>coming back to the whole tampon thing, like, yeah, my mother,

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<v Speaker 2>my wonderful mother, she never told me what tampons were, Like,

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<v Speaker 2>I've always used pads to this day. And and even

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<v Speaker 2>when I learned what a tampon was in school, I

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<v Speaker 2>never ventured to experiment. I just you know, my dad

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<v Speaker 2>always told me, my dad's the boss, the red winner.

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<v Speaker 2>He always said if I if I did anything ever

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<v Speaker 2>to disappoint him, he would send me back to India.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, I don't want to go to India, Tori.

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<v Speaker 2>I had bracist for seven years. I never even chewed gum.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought my dad would figure find out because he

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<v Speaker 2>to this day, I hear in my head five thousand

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<v Speaker 2>dollar races, five thousand dollar rais, and I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>he's gonna find it. I chewed gum and he's gonna

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<v Speaker 2>send me that to India. So yeah, no tampon usage.

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<v Speaker 2>A past mere hurts at the wonderful obg I M's

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<v Speaker 2>office a couple of years ago, I thought I met

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<v Speaker 2>the one I tried to get an iud inserted, couldn't

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<v Speaker 2>get it done, and then the guy turned to be

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<v Speaker 2>a jerk. I've been through helen back, and so yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I to your point. I can't imagine what colbirth and

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<v Speaker 2>pregnancy feel like, really, and I don't think I want

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<v Speaker 2>to know.

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<v Speaker 1>You can get a C section and then they just

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<v Speaker 1>slice open your stomach. But uh wait, so you said

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<v Speaker 1>you've been to third base.

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<v Speaker 2>Though, so you know about that. Okay, yeah, so I

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<v Speaker 2>actually refer to myself as a semi virgin, and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>it's an actual word. I came up with it, but

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<v Speaker 2>then I looked it up.

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<v Speaker 1>A semi virgin, semi virgin. Yeah, you're a virgin. No, no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>no no.

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<v Speaker 2>But you said third base, So.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what third I didn't know. You explained

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<v Speaker 1>it on the show. I had no idea, And.

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<v Speaker 2>Look, I said a lot of things on the show.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know what made the final cut. You've seen

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<v Speaker 2>the first episode at least.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I'm just saying you said that you were with

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<v Speaker 1>a man, and you still explained that you went to

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<v Speaker 1>first base kissing, touching up.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, no, I remember, Okay, so that third base was down,

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<v Speaker 2>So remind me he oh of the earings he gave me.

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<v Speaker 2>He's I still think about him, silly me, stupid snelling.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait, no, where those errings? Girl? Who cares about him?

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<v Speaker 1>Like they're breathful?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>And then he ghosted you right right right?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, can quote men?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm a semi fan of men. Oh yeah, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>gonna semi virgin, but semi fanom men. So he touched

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<v Speaker 1>you down below? Was there any insertion of like a

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<v Speaker 1>finger affirmative? Okay? And that didn't hurt?

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<v Speaker 2>No, Listen. I wanted to go all the way with him,

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<v Speaker 2>and he wanted to to He didn't. We neither of

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<v Speaker 2>us wanted to get me pregnant because I wasn't done

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<v Speaker 2>any birth control. He never wanted to talk about us

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<v Speaker 2>for the future. It was really on a daycase by case,

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<v Speaker 2>month by on month basis. He didn't have a vasectomy

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<v Speaker 2>before him. I told you I tried to get an

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<v Speaker 2>aud inserted. That didn't work out. Even before that, I

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<v Speaker 2>tried to get I tried to go on the pill,

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<v Speaker 2>I gained weight, I broke out, and then of course

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<v Speaker 2>that guy ghosted me too. It's always us women who

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<v Speaker 2>pay the price, Like why can't men pay the price?

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<v Speaker 2>Why can't every.

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<v Speaker 1>Single man called the condom?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, he never wanted to use that either.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait, this boy, this boy man.

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<v Speaker 2>He was this man who's significantly older than me. That's

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<v Speaker 2>a whole other story, toy, Hey that rhyme?

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<v Speaker 1>Will you tell me about this man?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh man? Where do I begin?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you feel like? Were you in love with him?

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<v Speaker 2>Affirmative? I fall Tori, I fall in love with just

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<v Speaker 2>one kiss. That is all it takes from me, And

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<v Speaker 2>for me.

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<v Speaker 1>That is not good. I'm worried.

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<v Speaker 2>Why is that not good?

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<v Speaker 1>Because you crave this intimacy so much that I'm worried

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<v Speaker 1>you're gonna get There's gonna be red flag guys that

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<v Speaker 1>are gonna come around looking bad.

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<v Speaker 2>This guy was full of red flags? What did I

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<v Speaker 2>know about them?

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<v Speaker 1>Though he didn't want to use a condom, he could

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<v Speaker 1>pull out?

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<v Speaker 2>Wait say that I pull out? What does that mean?

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<v Speaker 1>Clearly? I don't really know. I have five kids, but

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<v Speaker 1>I suppose the method is when they are about to ejaculate,

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<v Speaker 1>they pull out.

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<v Speaker 2>He never went in.

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<v Speaker 1>And no, I know, I know because yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>He didn't want to get me pregnant. I didn't want

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<v Speaker 2>to get pregnant.

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<v Speaker 1>But whatever. I'm glad you didn't have sex with him.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm glad you lose. This guy sounds like a dick.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh no, he knew something, Tori. He has a daughter

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<v Speaker 2>who's about twelve thirteen years younger than me. Listen, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>of Indian descent. We believe in karma and even in

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<v Speaker 2>American culture, golden rule and so not only means golden

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<v Speaker 2>like oh my gosh, what goes around comes around like

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<v Speaker 2>he Yes, true, I firmly believe in that, Okay. I

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<v Speaker 2>And I know I'm not the only one who only

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<v Speaker 2>woman of any cultural ethnicity who believes in what I'm

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<v Speaker 2>about to say. But every man out there should treat

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<v Speaker 2>a woman the way he would want his own female

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<v Speaker 2>blood relatives treated. Yes, daughter, meek, cousin, mom, aunt, whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>And if I ever see this man again, I'll be like,

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<v Speaker 2>karma's your daughter. Okay. Oh and by the way, Tori,

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<v Speaker 2>he's an Equinox member. That's how I met him. I

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<v Speaker 2>used to work at the front desk at Equinox and

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<v Speaker 2>Low Casting Production TLC. I apparently you know I'm an

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<v Speaker 2>open book. I used to work at the front desk

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<v Speaker 2>of Equinox and I was only Indian girl who worked

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<v Speaker 2>at the front desk and Equinox and he was a

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<v Speaker 2>frequent member. We crossed paths many times, many times, and

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<v Speaker 2>he introduced himself to me and that's how we met.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh so then get this, I'm bringing Equinox up because

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<v Speaker 2>my director lisacial title is field producer. She's also an

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<v Speaker 2>Equinox member, so she's She told me she was going

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<v Speaker 2>to stalk him, but then she never did because they

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<v Speaker 2>wanted him as part of the show. But then I

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<v Speaker 2>knew he wasn't going to cooperate because he's a private

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<v Speaker 2>citizen anyway.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, a private what citizen?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, he's a private person like.

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<v Speaker 1>Mike. I love your lingo. I love when you say affirmative,

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<v Speaker 1>private citizen, self professed prude.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not just beauty. I'm also brains, almost very humble.

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<v Speaker 1>No, you just you. I love your your wording for things.

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<v Speaker 1>Would you go out with a younger man?

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<v Speaker 2>Hey? Look, Nick Jonas is ten years younger than Prianca Chopra.

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<v Speaker 2>You know I want what Chopra has, I really do.

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<v Speaker 2>I've always been public about that, and he's ten years

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<v Speaker 2>younger than her. He's a different one.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you want cake on the beach, like do.

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<v Speaker 2>You take on the beach? That's not his song.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, this song is that, that's mother.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think that's a Nick Jonah's song. M I

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<v Speaker 2>look at because look I'm thirty eight. I'm thirty seven

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<v Speaker 2>on the show. Prianca Chopra is five years older than me.

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<v Speaker 2>She's my donation. And I grew up watching her in

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<v Speaker 2>Bollywood movies. So that's the good thing. My parents did

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<v Speaker 2>the right thing. They watched Bollywood movies with Indian films.

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<v Speaker 2>That's how That's what influenced me to believe how love

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<v Speaker 2>and romance is and should be. And then also I

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<v Speaker 2>grew up doing Indian classical dancing, so I know. And

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<v Speaker 2>there's a saying how you dance indicates how you make love.

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<v Speaker 2>I believe on that too.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm really flexible.

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<v Speaker 2>Well me too. Yeah, yeah, I grew up watching Preanca

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<v Speaker 2>chroprom movies since the and then all of a sudden,

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<v Speaker 2>she ended Jonahs are together, Like how the hell did

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<v Speaker 2>that happen? Just he found her on social media, He's like,

0:11:20.600 --> 0:11:22.760
<v Speaker 2>we should meet and then now they've been married for

0:11:22.800 --> 0:11:23.600
<v Speaker 2>over five years.

0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:26.839
<v Speaker 1>Literally he slender dms, he.

0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:31.080
<v Speaker 2>Sent her Twitter message and yeah, and then he's like,

0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:33.480
<v Speaker 2>text me, my whole team can see this, And then

0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:38.160
<v Speaker 2>they started texting. Yeah, and then she and I read

0:11:38.200 --> 0:11:41.600
<v Speaker 2>her book. I have her memoir at home. She at

0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:44.960
<v Speaker 2>first she had her reservations about him because he's a

0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:47.320
<v Speaker 2>decade younger than her. He probably wants to have kids

0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:51.520
<v Speaker 2>and settle down. And she had her apprehensions. But then

0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:52.320
<v Speaker 2>look at them.

0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:52.520
<v Speaker 1>Now.

0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:55.280
<v Speaker 2>They had a big fat Indian wedding and in American

0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:58.080
<v Speaker 2>wedding and they adopted it. Oh, they have a daughter

0:11:58.080 --> 0:12:00.440
<v Speaker 2>through surrogacy and they've been married over five years. That's

0:12:00.520 --> 0:12:02.280
<v Speaker 2>like a record in right in Hollywood.

0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:06.680
<v Speaker 1>In Hollywood. Yeah, anything over seventh is like, because you like, he.

0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:09.560
<v Speaker 2>Married an Indian woman. US. Indian women are of a

0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:10.199
<v Speaker 2>different breed.

0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:15.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm telling you, Tory, Okay, I believe you. I like you.

0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:19.200
<v Speaker 1>I like you too, but it's not me. You have

0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:21.680
<v Speaker 1>to date like this is fine? Okay, So wait, let's

0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:23.560
<v Speaker 1>go back to you growing up. Okay, Like, were you

0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:26.320
<v Speaker 1>allowed to go on playdates? Were you allowed to go

0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:27.960
<v Speaker 1>to birthday parties?

0:12:29.840 --> 0:12:34.960
<v Speaker 2>Selectively? So if as long as my parents knew whose

0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:37.200
<v Speaker 2>it was at the parents, it had to be a

0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:40.520
<v Speaker 2>female friend whose birthday I was going to our party,

0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:43.000
<v Speaker 2>I was going to. I did have a big, fat

0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:45.520
<v Speaker 2>sweet sixteen party. There were there were a few boys

0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:47.640
<v Speaker 2>from school who attended, who came who I was allowed

0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:51.520
<v Speaker 2>to invite. But doing the slow dancing part, I danced

0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:55.560
<v Speaker 2>with my dad and my cousin's husband, you know, like

0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:57.559
<v Speaker 2>that was it? Like I didn't dance with any of

0:12:57.600 --> 0:13:00.120
<v Speaker 2>the guys who came to my sweet sixteen because.

0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:06.240
<v Speaker 1>We allowed to allowed. Like you're an independent person, But

0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:10.280
<v Speaker 1>did you ever hug a boy in school?

0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:13.280
<v Speaker 2>Like I gave friendly hugs to the boys who came

0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:15.400
<v Speaker 2>to Fiste. I did, and my dad was there, and

0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:16.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure he saw it. He'd make a scene or

0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:19.720
<v Speaker 2>anything of it. It was just a quick friendly hug, Toria.

0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:22.240
<v Speaker 2>I was. If I did anything to disobey my parents,

0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:25.680
<v Speaker 2>my father told me he would send me back to India.

0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:31.000
<v Speaker 1>And I mean that's called it. No, I know it now, right,

0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.599
<v Speaker 1>But you were terrified at the time.

0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:41.360
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I mean I.

0:13:41.280 --> 0:13:43.760
<v Speaker 1>Had a pretty strict upbringing, and you know what would

0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:46.920
<v Speaker 1>happen because of that upbringing when I would go to

0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:52.320
<v Speaker 1>parties and when I would like be free, I literally

0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:57.040
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't be really a little disruptive and a little rebellious.

0:13:57.080 --> 0:13:58.000
<v Speaker 1>Did you ever do that.

0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:02.400
<v Speaker 2>Because of it, I got intoxicated at twenty nine at

0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:04.520
<v Speaker 2>a New Year's Eve party. I landed in the hospital

0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:05.240
<v Speaker 2>in the er.

0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:08.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry about that, but woo, I'm.

0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:11.800
<v Speaker 2>Talking twenty nine at twenty nine.

0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:15.600
<v Speaker 1>Twenty nine, Like before you went to college, did you

0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:19.600
<v Speaker 1>at high school parties? Did you ever just like like, woo, No,

0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:23.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm not trying drinking, Like I don't know.

0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:25.160
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't allowed to.

0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:30.600
<v Speaker 1>They weren't there, but they would find out, you thought. Wow.

0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:33.200
<v Speaker 2>I didn't start drinking till I was twenty one and

0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:38.320
<v Speaker 2>a half, and then I was hooked. Worry. You know

0:14:38.360 --> 0:14:40.040
<v Speaker 2>what my favorite drink is. Are you ready for this?

0:14:41.360 --> 0:14:49.000
<v Speaker 2>Sex on the beach? I know the irony? Oh and

0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:53.400
<v Speaker 2>another irony. India dating was forbidden. You already know that.

0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:57.480
<v Speaker 2>We never talked about the s words sex. It was taboo,

0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:00.400
<v Speaker 2>Like I really thought that's something that people only do,

0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:03.120
<v Speaker 2>are only able to do after marriage. That's how I

0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:05.200
<v Speaker 2>was raised. So we never even talked about it. It

0:15:05.200 --> 0:15:09.640
<v Speaker 2>was a taboo subject. But then get this, India created

0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:18.400
<v Speaker 2>the Kamasutra. Great fast forward to now, India is the

0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:21.960
<v Speaker 2>world's most populous country. How did it get that way?

0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:24.160
<v Speaker 2>Because people there are doing hanky panky.

0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:28.240
<v Speaker 1>Sorry you don't like sex. He's like calling it making love.

0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:30.520
<v Speaker 1>But I understand.

0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:33.400
<v Speaker 2>And you know what else I wasn't allowed to do.

0:15:33.760 --> 0:15:36.680
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't allowed to watch American TV shows. I wasn't

0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:39.160
<v Speaker 2>even allowed to watch your show. I only watched Full

0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:44.000
<v Speaker 2>House and that's how I learned English and then oh yeah,

0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:48.120
<v Speaker 2>really esl England and Full House. And even when Uncle Jesse,

0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:50.280
<v Speaker 2>for instance, I was kissing a girl, I had to

0:15:50.360 --> 0:15:52.200
<v Speaker 2>choose the channel. My dad would come into the living

0:15:52.280 --> 0:15:53.920
<v Speaker 2>room and he's like, what are you watching? Jesus? This

0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:54.880
<v Speaker 2>is dirty?

0:15:55.360 --> 0:15:59.280
<v Speaker 1>But on some level, I know you're saying that's all

0:15:59.320 --> 0:16:03.320
<v Speaker 1>they knew. But they knew they were raising you in America,

0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:08.360
<v Speaker 1>I know, right, so they had to see that.

0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:10.160
<v Speaker 2>So get this.

0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:12.200
<v Speaker 1>Do you talk to them now about it? Or do

0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:15.640
<v Speaker 1>they feel any remorse or bad that?

0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:19.120
<v Speaker 2>Or they are super duper disappointed that I have not

0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:22.920
<v Speaker 2>married some Indian guy and popped grandkids for them? Yes,

0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:23.840
<v Speaker 2>they're very.

0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:26.640
<v Speaker 1>Did you say, hello, this is their fault?

0:16:27.120 --> 0:16:29.920
<v Speaker 2>What do you mean? I've had many I are.

0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:33.760
<v Speaker 1>Still disappointed, And have you had the conversation or I

0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:36.520
<v Speaker 1>don't know how you talk to your parents but saying

0:16:36.560 --> 0:16:39.400
<v Speaker 1>that you know, perhaps the way you raised me it

0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:41.320
<v Speaker 1>was in America, Like maybe it was a little too

0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:42.480
<v Speaker 1>strict and maybe that is.

0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:47.080
<v Speaker 2>The day of college graduation. I was driving home from

0:16:47.080 --> 0:16:48.960
<v Speaker 2>the ceremony and my dad. I was driving and my

0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:50.760
<v Speaker 2>dad was in the passenger seat, my mom and I

0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:53.720
<v Speaker 2>was younger sister who's LGBTT good for her? Love is love?

0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:54.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:16:56.320 --> 0:16:57.840
<v Speaker 2>My dad was like, we're going to get you married

0:16:57.840 --> 0:16:59.560
<v Speaker 2>off now. And so I had just graduated with a

0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:02.560
<v Speaker 2>fine degree from Rutgers University in New Jersey. I had

0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:06.040
<v Speaker 2>my job secured on Wall Street, Manhattan, the Big Apple,

0:17:06.560 --> 0:17:08.879
<v Speaker 2>and my dad's we're gonna getting married now, and my

0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:11.040
<v Speaker 2>jaw dropped. I turned to him. I was still driving,

0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:12.920
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, you've never let me have a boyfriend,

0:17:12.960 --> 0:17:15.640
<v Speaker 2>and now you want me to get married, like to who?

0:17:15.920 --> 0:17:18.320
<v Speaker 2>And he's like, I'll find you somebody. So that's been

0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:21.919
<v Speaker 2>a decade plus battle and they've tried to set me up,

0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:26.600
<v Speaker 2>but no luck. I am two. There's three things going

0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:28.800
<v Speaker 2>on here, Tori. I'm too tall for Indian guys, and

0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:32.800
<v Speaker 2>we're talking how I'm five eight without heels and that's

0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:35.320
<v Speaker 2>too tall for most Indian men ninety nine per seven

0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:39.479
<v Speaker 2>that's number one. Number two, and look, I've only been

0:17:39.520 --> 0:17:43.000
<v Speaker 2>kissed by six men? Was the sixth one? The three

0:17:43.040 --> 0:17:44.680
<v Speaker 2>were back in New York. There were all Indian guys.

0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:46.760
<v Speaker 2>This was in my twenties. What was I thinking?

0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:48.760
<v Speaker 1>What and how old were you when you got your

0:17:48.760 --> 0:17:49.320
<v Speaker 1>first kiss?

0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:50.000
<v Speaker 2>Thirty six?

0:17:50.600 --> 0:17:51.240
<v Speaker 1>Twenty six?

0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:54.240
<v Speaker 2>They were all Indian guys, back and back in New York.

0:17:54.320 --> 0:17:56.280
<v Speaker 2>Now I'm looking back and thinking, what was I thinking?

0:17:57.640 --> 0:17:59.960
<v Speaker 2>An Indian guy could be my long lost brother?

0:18:00.040 --> 0:18:00.639
<v Speaker 1>Are like you?

0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:05.159
<v Speaker 2>So then that's number two and then number three are

0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:08.440
<v Speaker 2>On a more serious note, I'm very ambitious. I'm a workaholic.

0:18:08.480 --> 0:18:10.280
<v Speaker 2>I have a finance degree, I went to business school.

0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:14.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm too ambitious for an Indian guy. They're intimidated by

0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:15.439
<v Speaker 2>my work ethic.

0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:17.679
<v Speaker 1>Hence Frianka Chopra.

0:18:17.480 --> 0:18:20.840
<v Speaker 2>Married Nick Jonas because some Indian guy would be intimidated

0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:21.600
<v Speaker 2>by her success.

0:18:21.760 --> 0:18:24.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I feel like you're going to marry American guy.

0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:25.160
<v Speaker 1>I just feel it.

0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:28.879
<v Speaker 2>We'll see at this point in life, especially with what

0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:32.520
<v Speaker 2>I went through with. Look, actually previously married. He has

0:18:32.520 --> 0:18:35.800
<v Speaker 2>two drum kids in the twenties. Look, I'm just being honest.

0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:38.640
<v Speaker 2>Marriages do fall apart, right, they can. It's unfortunate even

0:18:38.640 --> 0:18:42.000
<v Speaker 2>in the Indian culture. It's but it's happened, right, It's yeah,

0:18:42.040 --> 0:18:45.080
<v Speaker 2>of course what it is like at this point in life,

0:18:45.160 --> 0:18:47.239
<v Speaker 2>I'm actually afraid to get married because I don't want

0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:51.120
<v Speaker 2>to ever get divorced. That's why I'm married.

0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:53.880
<v Speaker 1>To my career. I'm like, you have so many fears.

0:18:53.960 --> 0:18:56.840
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I thought I was bad. Oh my god.

0:18:56.880 --> 0:18:58.320
<v Speaker 1>I just want to hold you.

0:18:59.600 --> 0:19:00.919
<v Speaker 2>Virtual virtual.

0:19:02.480 --> 0:19:06.240
<v Speaker 1>Okay. Wow. So your parents still to this day have

0:19:06.359 --> 0:19:10.639
<v Speaker 1>not said, you know what we wish we had compromised

0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:13.080
<v Speaker 1>and done things a little bit different. Raising you here

0:19:13.080 --> 0:19:13.720
<v Speaker 1>in America.

0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:17.159
<v Speaker 2>My dad, like most men, Indian or non Indian, super proud.

0:19:17.280 --> 0:19:18.200
<v Speaker 1>Not you won't.

0:19:18.400 --> 0:19:20.919
<v Speaker 2>You won't admit any fault, did.

0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:22.240
<v Speaker 1>Your What about your mom? Though?

0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:26.359
<v Speaker 2>My mom all my life has been powerless. She's always

0:19:26.400 --> 0:19:29.280
<v Speaker 2>been there, but she's never had any power or any voice.

0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:32.879
<v Speaker 2>And actually, fast forward to today, Torri, my mom was

0:19:32.920 --> 0:19:33.919
<v Speaker 2>battling Alzheimer's.

0:19:34.760 --> 0:19:36.080
<v Speaker 1>Oh I'm sorry, she's there.

0:19:36.240 --> 0:19:39.440
<v Speaker 2>She recognizes me, but her health is rapidly declining. She

0:19:39.600 --> 0:19:42.720
<v Speaker 2>really can't say anything anymore. But it's sad. Anyway, health

0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:45.760
<v Speaker 2>is wealth. I firmly believe in the health as well.

0:19:45.880 --> 0:19:50.280
<v Speaker 2>Nothing else matters. And happiness. Yeah, anyway, that's true. Yeah,

0:19:50.280 --> 0:19:53.000
<v Speaker 2>there's still just this was over this past weekend. I

0:19:53.040 --> 0:19:55.800
<v Speaker 2>was there here visiting us here in America right now,

0:19:56.760 --> 0:19:59.560
<v Speaker 2>I was watching a Netflix co Wait, they moved back

0:19:59.600 --> 0:20:02.480
<v Speaker 2>to Indiana. Yeah, so they're retired. They split their time

0:20:02.520 --> 0:20:05.159
<v Speaker 2>now between India and America. Right now, they're in America

0:20:05.200 --> 0:20:07.480
<v Speaker 2>for my mom's medical treatment. And this it was just

0:20:07.480 --> 0:20:11.679
<v Speaker 2>a few days ago. I was visiting them and we

0:20:11.680 --> 0:20:15.280
<v Speaker 2>were watching this Netflix special of an Iranian American comedian

0:20:15.840 --> 0:20:18.479
<v Speaker 2>stand up comedy. For the most part, he was family friendly,

0:20:19.280 --> 0:20:22.199
<v Speaker 2>but there were some sexual innuendos, and my dad's like,

0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:24.720
<v Speaker 2>this is filthy, this is dirty. Change the channel. What

0:20:24.800 --> 0:20:27.119
<v Speaker 2>is he doing? And this was like two or three

0:20:27.200 --> 0:20:30.639
<v Speaker 2>days ago. He still like that, and then he wonders

0:20:30.640 --> 0:20:31.879
<v Speaker 2>why he doesn't have grandkids.

0:20:40.240 --> 0:20:42.200
<v Speaker 1>What do they think about you doing this show?

0:20:42.480 --> 0:20:44.560
<v Speaker 2>Oh, they know about this show because this has been

0:20:44.560 --> 0:20:47.080
<v Speaker 2>a long journey, right, and casting had interviewed with them.

0:20:47.080 --> 0:20:50.080
<v Speaker 2>They were in India at the time, Okay, and then

0:20:50.359 --> 0:20:54.120
<v Speaker 2>when filming finally began, they were still in India and

0:20:54.160 --> 0:20:56.239
<v Speaker 2>my mom's health really started to decline. So then they

0:20:56.280 --> 0:20:59.840
<v Speaker 2>opted out of decline of participating. Right, it's funny were

0:20:59.840 --> 0:21:03.400
<v Speaker 2>how this conversation right now, Tori was right, while we're

0:21:03.440 --> 0:21:05.399
<v Speaker 2>It was after the Netflix special that we were watching

0:21:05.600 --> 0:21:07.640
<v Speaker 2>that guy, that comedian, and my dad asked me, what's

0:21:07.680 --> 0:21:10.639
<v Speaker 2>going on with you? Whatever happened to that program? In

0:21:10.680 --> 0:21:15.240
<v Speaker 2>Indian culture they call a show like a program? Yeah, well, look,

0:21:15.280 --> 0:21:18.199
<v Speaker 2>I know what I filmed, and I didn't let my

0:21:18.640 --> 0:21:22.720
<v Speaker 2>up strict upbringing stop me from participating in the filming experience, right.

0:21:22.760 --> 0:21:25.399
<v Speaker 2>And I'm really grateful to the production and to the

0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:29.280
<v Speaker 2>network for being so respectful, generous and non judgment until

0:21:29.320 --> 0:21:32.800
<v Speaker 2>about my prudish ways and whatnot. But the fact of

0:21:32.840 --> 0:21:34.560
<v Speaker 2>the matter is a lot of the things I did,

0:21:34.760 --> 0:21:39.800
<v Speaker 2>my dad would find h jaw dropping and disappointing, Like

0:21:39.840 --> 0:21:44.320
<v Speaker 2>he was gasping at the male comedian talking making sexual references.

0:21:44.400 --> 0:21:46.600
<v Speaker 2>And this was just on stage to a live audience, right,

0:21:46.720 --> 0:21:49.560
<v Speaker 2>making jokes. So my I just all I told my

0:21:49.640 --> 0:21:51.040
<v Speaker 2>dad this was just a few days ago. I'm like,

0:21:51.040 --> 0:21:53.800
<v Speaker 2>we will filming rapped, they're editing, and I don't know

0:21:53.800 --> 0:21:55.560
<v Speaker 2>when it's gonna air. That's what I told my dad

0:21:55.680 --> 0:21:58.560
<v Speaker 2>over the weekend. I don't want him to see the show.

0:21:58.800 --> 0:22:01.959
<v Speaker 1>This is your dad read things online. I mean, your

0:22:02.040 --> 0:22:04.720
<v Speaker 1>name is going to be everywhere by the way, I'll.

0:22:04.600 --> 0:22:05.000
<v Speaker 2>Deal with it.

0:22:05.040 --> 0:22:07.840
<v Speaker 1>Then, Okay, sure, yeah.

0:22:07.560 --> 0:22:09.600
<v Speaker 2>We'll I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

0:22:10.119 --> 0:22:13.119
<v Speaker 1>Sounds good to me. Let me know how that goes.

0:22:13.160 --> 0:22:13.919
<v Speaker 1>I'll try it back in.

0:22:14.680 --> 0:22:17.520
<v Speaker 2>Wow, here's my philosophy in life, Tori. At this point,

0:22:17.880 --> 0:22:23.200
<v Speaker 2>it's better to seek forgiveness than to seek permission. If

0:22:23.280 --> 0:22:25.280
<v Speaker 2>I told my dad before filming began.

0:22:25.400 --> 0:22:27.400
<v Speaker 1>Now, I don't like that term. My ex husband said

0:22:27.400 --> 0:22:29.040
<v Speaker 1>it to me all the time about shit and not

0:22:30.119 --> 0:22:36.439
<v Speaker 1>very triggering. So but I don't know, I understand in

0:22:36.480 --> 0:22:41.160
<v Speaker 1>your case, yes, I agree with that. Oh yeah, wait,

0:22:41.320 --> 0:22:44.840
<v Speaker 1>I am worried though, Like I don't even know if

0:22:44.880 --> 0:22:49.440
<v Speaker 1>this is a thing. But like our bodies, I feel

0:22:49.480 --> 0:22:52.320
<v Speaker 1>like are made, you know, we were put on this earth.

0:22:52.359 --> 0:22:55.240
<v Speaker 1>We have a certain we have a hole and man

0:22:55.280 --> 0:22:57.399
<v Speaker 1>has a famal like it's supposed to work, supposed to

0:22:57.400 --> 0:23:02.000
<v Speaker 1>fit together in a way to pro create and create children.

0:23:02.400 --> 0:23:05.560
<v Speaker 1>I've heard like, could something have happened that you went

0:23:05.680 --> 0:23:08.720
<v Speaker 1>too long? This is this is where my like I

0:23:08.760 --> 0:23:11.960
<v Speaker 1>watched too many horror films and like something sealed over,

0:23:12.680 --> 0:23:15.880
<v Speaker 1>like it's closed, like it's the skin just sealed.

0:23:16.280 --> 0:23:19.080
<v Speaker 2>Well, nothing's ever been inserted. Right, Like most of you know,

0:23:19.400 --> 0:23:23.119
<v Speaker 2>most women worried they were tampon starting in their teenage years.

0:23:23.200 --> 0:23:24.000
<v Speaker 2>I never did that.

0:23:24.359 --> 0:23:26.639
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't allowed to. My mom got me the belt.

0:23:26.680 --> 0:23:30.040
<v Speaker 1>Do you even know what that is? No, it's it's archaic.

0:23:30.160 --> 0:23:33.439
<v Speaker 1>Her mom got it for her, Her mom had it.

0:23:32.800 --> 0:23:36.439
<v Speaker 1>It's a pad and they snap it to a belt

0:23:36.520 --> 0:23:39.600
<v Speaker 1>you wear. That went over big with my friends.

0:23:40.160 --> 0:23:41.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't even know what you're talking about.

0:23:42.480 --> 0:23:45.760
<v Speaker 1>Please don't. It's it's like worse than a pad. But yeah,

0:23:45.800 --> 0:23:47.320
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't allowed to wear tampons ever.

0:23:47.480 --> 0:23:49.880
<v Speaker 2>Here's here's what I'm thinking. Like, I learned the term

0:23:49.960 --> 0:23:52.919
<v Speaker 2>baginismus through this filming experience. I didn't know what that

0:23:53.080 --> 0:23:57.639
<v Speaker 2>was at the Badgie Miss, what's that like?

0:23:58.440 --> 0:23:59.480
<v Speaker 1>Vaginal Christmas?

0:24:00.200 --> 0:24:01.920
<v Speaker 2>That's what my friend Laura said, is a Christmas in

0:24:01.960 --> 0:24:02.520
<v Speaker 2>your virgina?

0:24:03.400 --> 0:24:04.639
<v Speaker 1>Who sounds like a party?

0:24:05.560 --> 0:24:06.960
<v Speaker 2>It's a metic It's a serious.

0:24:06.720 --> 0:24:09.879
<v Speaker 1>Messimust only comes one time of year. Want me to

0:24:09.920 --> 0:24:10.600
<v Speaker 1>keep going.

0:24:10.680 --> 0:24:13.280
<v Speaker 2>It's a real medical condition apparently, And it's when the

0:24:13.359 --> 0:24:17.840
<v Speaker 2>vaginal muscles tighten and they spasm when and pain happens

0:24:17.840 --> 0:24:20.639
<v Speaker 2>when something is inserted. And so I didn't even know

0:24:20.680 --> 0:24:23.879
<v Speaker 2>about the term until the filming filming journey began and

0:24:23.960 --> 0:24:26.679
<v Speaker 2>my showrunner Candace was like, do you have faginismus? I'm like,

0:24:26.680 --> 0:24:28.640
<v Speaker 2>what's that? So I was. I was googling it while

0:24:28.640 --> 0:24:30.639
<v Speaker 2>I was zooming with her, and I'm like, yeah, except

0:24:30.680 --> 0:24:34.680
<v Speaker 2>no doctor's ever told me I vaginousness. But like I

0:24:35.200 --> 0:24:39.760
<v Speaker 2>this was last summer. So do you have affirmative?

0:24:41.640 --> 0:24:45.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna start saying affirmative. It's so sexy. I like it,

0:24:45.560 --> 0:24:46.520
<v Speaker 1>like smart sexy.

0:24:46.600 --> 0:24:49.440
<v Speaker 2>Affirmative is fans is a fancy word for yes, and

0:24:49.640 --> 0:24:52.040
<v Speaker 2>negative is a fancy way of saying no.

0:24:52.720 --> 0:24:59.960
<v Speaker 1>Wow, but not positive, just just affirmative. Yeah, uh okay,

0:25:00.240 --> 0:25:03.199
<v Speaker 1>So you do have that? That is confirmed not but

0:25:03.240 --> 0:25:06.960
<v Speaker 1>the gynecologists didn't find it. Your producer found it.

0:25:09.080 --> 0:25:11.959
<v Speaker 2>That's where I first learned the term yes from my shouldrunner.

0:25:13.520 --> 0:25:15.040
<v Speaker 2>About a couple of weeks later, I went to see

0:25:15.040 --> 0:25:16.880
<v Speaker 2>my gynecologist and I'm like, do I have this? She's

0:25:16.880 --> 0:25:18.840
<v Speaker 2>like yeah. I'm like, well, you never told me I

0:25:18.880 --> 0:25:20.679
<v Speaker 2>have it. Well, she's like, well you never brought up

0:25:20.720 --> 0:25:23.680
<v Speaker 2>that there's a man in your life, you know, because

0:25:23.880 --> 0:25:26.080
<v Speaker 2>they know, like I've never had intercourse.

0:25:25.960 --> 0:25:29.280
<v Speaker 1>Right, and so yeah, is there a cure for it

0:25:29.320 --> 0:25:29.800
<v Speaker 1>is there.

0:25:29.760 --> 0:25:34.119
<v Speaker 2>Treatment, that's what the filming journey was.

0:25:34.280 --> 0:25:36.320
<v Speaker 1>Okay, we can't say okay, that's going to be part

0:25:36.320 --> 0:25:41.080
<v Speaker 1>of the journey. Okay, Oh oh my god. Like what

0:25:41.160 --> 0:25:45.119
<v Speaker 1>if the treatment is sorry, you don't like sex making love?

0:25:45.680 --> 0:25:46.160
<v Speaker 2>What if that?

0:25:46.240 --> 0:25:46.800
<v Speaker 1>I mean a man.

0:25:46.880 --> 0:25:48.520
<v Speaker 2>I want a man who's going to be not ghost

0:25:48.560 --> 0:25:48.760
<v Speaker 2>to me.

0:25:48.840 --> 0:25:55.040
<v Speaker 1>That's what. You're beautiful, you're smart, you're funny. No, this

0:25:55.200 --> 0:25:57.840
<v Speaker 1>isn't about you. That was him like that. This has

0:25:58.040 --> 0:26:00.560
<v Speaker 1>nothing to do with you. It's in your head that

0:26:00.640 --> 0:26:02.760
<v Speaker 1>it's all you because you're like, oh, they're not gonna

0:26:02.800 --> 0:26:05.160
<v Speaker 1>like me because of this. This, this is not you.

0:26:06.040 --> 0:26:09.520
<v Speaker 2>There's two parts to this predicament. Well, one part of

0:26:10.119 --> 0:26:13.440
<v Speaker 2>the whole vaginisms my emotional barriers. Okay, fine, that's something

0:26:13.440 --> 0:26:16.680
<v Speaker 2>I have more control over, right, But it's a journey.

0:26:16.720 --> 0:26:19.520
<v Speaker 2>It takes time. Right. The second aspect of this predicament

0:26:19.680 --> 0:26:25.080
<v Speaker 2>is men. And having lived only in la and New York. Look,

0:26:25.080 --> 0:26:28.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm I'm in my late thirties. Now I've only encountered

0:26:28.760 --> 0:26:33.760
<v Speaker 2>men who are anti committal and anti monogamous. It's the

0:26:33.800 --> 0:26:36.280
<v Speaker 2>story of my life. Whether he's Indian or non Indian.

0:26:36.320 --> 0:26:39.720
<v Speaker 1>Even babe, you're drawing that in. That is what you're

0:26:39.840 --> 0:26:42.639
<v Speaker 1>drawing in. What can I GI's you coincidence? You're getting

0:26:42.680 --> 0:26:44.720
<v Speaker 1>these types over and over. I'm speaking to you, yet

0:26:44.760 --> 0:26:45.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm seeking to myself.

0:26:46.440 --> 0:26:48.560
<v Speaker 2>And I agree. I've heard of that there too, that

0:26:48.600 --> 0:26:49.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm the common den.

0:26:49.440 --> 0:26:52.320
<v Speaker 1>My friend said, my picker is off. Your pickers off.

0:26:53.320 --> 0:26:56.919
<v Speaker 1>It's what you're you're picking these people your picker. You

0:26:56.960 --> 0:26:57.320
<v Speaker 1>got it.

0:26:57.560 --> 0:26:58.480
<v Speaker 2>That's what I'm attacking.

0:26:58.560 --> 0:27:02.560
<v Speaker 1>Right, it's white you're attracting. It's the energy you're attracting.

0:27:03.000 --> 0:27:05.520
<v Speaker 1>I have a friend that says Tory could be in

0:27:05.560 --> 0:27:09.199
<v Speaker 1>a room with a thousand men and she will always

0:27:09.320 --> 0:27:12.560
<v Speaker 1>pick the one that's gonna be noncommittal. Not always, it's

0:27:12.600 --> 0:27:14.720
<v Speaker 1>like she just draws them right in.

0:27:15.080 --> 0:27:17.720
<v Speaker 2>Let me ask you this, toy, Why does society always

0:27:17.720 --> 0:27:18.160
<v Speaker 2>blame the.

0:27:18.080 --> 0:27:21.680
<v Speaker 1>Woman who's blaming the woman?

0:27:22.280 --> 0:27:24.440
<v Speaker 2>Oh you just said your friend said this about you,

0:27:25.520 --> 0:27:28.840
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, well there if you just said it too, right,

0:27:28.840 --> 0:27:31.400
<v Speaker 2>it's always the one's fault. Why can't a man change?

0:27:31.400 --> 0:27:35.720
<v Speaker 2>Why can't men be monogamous and committal? He has a daughter, like.

0:27:35.680 --> 0:27:44.640
<v Speaker 1>You know, men the emotionally, I just think it's it's

0:27:44.720 --> 0:27:48.600
<v Speaker 1>it's very difficult. I think it's hard for me because

0:27:48.840 --> 0:27:52.040
<v Speaker 1>I grew up watching, you know, all the fairy tale

0:27:52.160 --> 0:27:56.760
<v Speaker 1>romances and the cartoons and the movies, and so I

0:27:56.840 --> 0:28:01.000
<v Speaker 1>really believed those are the boys, the men that we get.

0:28:01.640 --> 0:28:06.479
<v Speaker 1>And then when it didn't happen, I was just like, oh, like,

0:28:06.680 --> 0:28:08.400
<v Speaker 1>men cheat, men lie, men.

0:28:09.880 --> 0:28:12.480
<v Speaker 2>Some men. Some men will say that women lie because

0:28:12.480 --> 0:28:15.679
<v Speaker 2>we were makeup. Look, I'm the same as you. I

0:28:15.680 --> 0:28:18.400
<v Speaker 2>grew up watching those romantic Bollywood movies. I thought that's

0:28:18.440 --> 0:28:19.400
<v Speaker 2>how life is.

0:28:19.760 --> 0:28:25.840
<v Speaker 1>Right, and then you get here and you're like, well, reality.

0:28:25.400 --> 0:28:28.480
<v Speaker 2>Is far different from what you see on the real.

0:28:29.400 --> 0:28:34.360
<v Speaker 1>I know, and it's not fair because right our counterpart,

0:28:34.480 --> 0:28:38.880
<v Speaker 1>our partner, you know, we're great, and then we need

0:28:38.920 --> 0:28:41.040
<v Speaker 1>to find are are you on a dating app at all?

0:28:41.320 --> 0:28:42.960
<v Speaker 2>I used to be not anymore.

0:28:43.880 --> 0:28:46.760
<v Speaker 1>Did you ever go on dates from that dating app?

0:28:47.040 --> 0:28:49.240
<v Speaker 2>Handful? They were all negative experiences.

0:28:50.280 --> 0:28:55.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's what I've heard. Yeah, but how do you

0:28:55.200 --> 0:28:56.640
<v Speaker 1>meet people? That's the thing.

0:28:56.760 --> 0:28:59.200
<v Speaker 2>Well, I got hit on a lot at Equinox.

0:29:01.920 --> 0:29:03.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, No, I work.

0:29:04.840 --> 0:29:09.400
<v Speaker 2>Look, I don't date as per the exact definition of dating.

0:29:09.880 --> 0:29:12.480
<v Speaker 2>But if I were to serendipitously meet a man with

0:29:12.520 --> 0:29:15.600
<v Speaker 2>whom I have a natural chemistry and ctibility, with and

0:29:15.680 --> 0:29:18.600
<v Speaker 2>if he then invites me out for a coffee, drink, whatever,

0:29:19.320 --> 0:29:22.440
<v Speaker 2>then I explore that further. That's how I date. And

0:29:22.640 --> 0:29:25.880
<v Speaker 2>I believe in friends. I believe in friendship as the

0:29:25.920 --> 0:29:28.480
<v Speaker 2>foundation of a romantic relationship, but I do not believe

0:29:28.520 --> 0:29:29.640
<v Speaker 2>in friends with benefits.

0:29:29.960 --> 0:29:30.040
<v Speaker 1>No.

0:29:30.760 --> 0:29:33.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh. And then also what I learned through life is

0:29:33.800 --> 0:29:38.920
<v Speaker 2>that I am a demisexual, which falls on the spectrum

0:29:38.960 --> 0:29:44.080
<v Speaker 2>of asexuality. I don't crave sex. I crave companionship and love.

0:29:44.600 --> 0:29:47.800
<v Speaker 2>And the definition of a demisexual is that someone like

0:29:47.840 --> 0:29:51.160
<v Speaker 2>me needs a very strong intellectual and emotional connection first

0:29:51.240 --> 0:29:54.440
<v Speaker 2>with a man before I can let anything physical happen.

0:29:55.160 --> 0:29:57.880
<v Speaker 2>And the problem, a challenge I face in society is

0:29:57.880 --> 0:29:59.800
<v Speaker 2>that ninety nine percent of men want to go straight

0:29:59.800 --> 0:30:01.880
<v Speaker 2>to the physical. They don't want to take the time

0:30:01.960 --> 0:30:02.640
<v Speaker 2>to get to know me.

0:30:02.800 --> 0:30:06.280
<v Speaker 1>And there's got to be ones that think on a

0:30:06.360 --> 0:30:13.600
<v Speaker 1>higher plane, that think they they gotta exist. I think

0:30:13.640 --> 0:30:20.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm a demni sexual. I think so, yeah, I really like,

0:30:20.120 --> 0:30:23.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm all about the brain and the creative, like, like,

0:30:23.920 --> 0:30:27.000
<v Speaker 1>if I connect with someone, yeah, I much rather that

0:30:27.080 --> 0:30:29.320
<v Speaker 1>than like that, like, don't send me a dick pic.

0:30:29.360 --> 0:30:33.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, yeah, you like And then I've also heard

0:30:33.720 --> 0:30:36.800
<v Speaker 2>from other people through life that what the sex wears off.

0:30:38.760 --> 0:30:42.320
<v Speaker 2>I'd even heard from men sexist and everything. But then

0:30:42.680 --> 0:30:46.680
<v Speaker 2>these men also goes to me when they when I because.

0:30:46.560 --> 0:30:49.880
<v Speaker 1>That's interesting to me that men don't want to go

0:30:49.960 --> 0:30:53.280
<v Speaker 1>further once you tell them you're a virgin, because you

0:30:53.280 --> 0:30:57.040
<v Speaker 1>would think that a man would be like, oh my god,

0:30:57.960 --> 0:31:00.800
<v Speaker 1>I could be her first. This is gonna be great.

0:31:01.400 --> 0:31:03.959
<v Speaker 2>That's what it was. But then he also didn't want

0:31:04.000 --> 0:31:05.280
<v Speaker 2>to commit and we never went all the way.

0:31:06.200 --> 0:31:10.200
<v Speaker 1>I hate that guy. I'm surprised that they're like turned

0:31:10.440 --> 0:31:12.480
<v Speaker 1>almost turned off when you say you're a virgin.

0:31:12.600 --> 0:31:16.760
<v Speaker 2>Why no, I look, I went on three dates for

0:31:16.800 --> 0:31:19.560
<v Speaker 2>the show, right, I don't know what those guys said

0:31:19.800 --> 0:31:21.520
<v Speaker 2>said about me and what they thought of me. I'll

0:31:21.520 --> 0:31:22.920
<v Speaker 2>find out when I watched the show.

0:31:24.040 --> 0:31:26.280
<v Speaker 1>I could tell you. No, I'm just kidding. I didn't

0:31:26.360 --> 0:31:28.680
<v Speaker 1>like that guy on episode one that you want to.

0:31:28.800 --> 0:31:30.880
<v Speaker 2>Date with first date, the pink blazer guy.

0:31:31.160 --> 0:31:31.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I didn't like him.

0:31:32.000 --> 0:31:32.719
<v Speaker 2>I was a joker.

0:31:34.520 --> 0:31:36.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I didn't find I'm attractive.

0:31:36.280 --> 0:31:38.760
<v Speaker 2>Sorry agreed.

0:31:40.080 --> 0:31:44.680
<v Speaker 1>Affirmative. Yeah, I don't know. I just feel like that's

0:31:44.800 --> 0:31:48.280
<v Speaker 1>every man's fantasy to be a guy girls first.

0:31:48.520 --> 0:31:53.160
<v Speaker 2>No, yeah, but here's my I want my one and only. Yeah,

0:31:53.480 --> 0:31:57.440
<v Speaker 2>that's that's the that's the that's the contradiction.

0:31:57.160 --> 0:32:03.000
<v Speaker 1>Of your one and only, like you want one and done. No, no,

0:32:03.000 --> 0:32:04.280
<v Speaker 1>no no.

0:32:04.640 --> 0:32:07.240
<v Speaker 2>That's the Indian side of me talking Tori. You won't.

0:32:07.960 --> 0:32:10.200
<v Speaker 1>We can't get that inside out of your brain.

0:32:11.800 --> 0:32:15.880
<v Speaker 2>I Tori, seriously, I have never been the kind.

0:32:15.760 --> 0:32:26.920
<v Speaker 1>To You're very controlling. Thank you for yourself, not for

0:32:27.040 --> 0:32:29.440
<v Speaker 1>others like you are very like I've.

0:32:29.280 --> 0:32:32.000
<v Speaker 2>Said this on the show, like the blessing. The combination

0:32:32.120 --> 0:32:34.960
<v Speaker 2>of being Indian American is both a blessing and a

0:32:35.040 --> 0:32:39.320
<v Speaker 2>curse because I know both cultures and me being the

0:32:39.320 --> 0:32:41.280
<v Speaker 2>way I am when it comes to my personal life,

0:32:41.480 --> 0:32:45.120
<v Speaker 2>that's my Indian values screaming at me. It really is.

0:32:46.280 --> 0:32:49.160
<v Speaker 2>Those strong South Asian values are ingrained in my soul

0:32:49.320 --> 0:32:52.440
<v Speaker 2>and I can't help it. This is how I am.

0:32:52.480 --> 0:32:56.400
<v Speaker 2>Like look career wise, I'm all American, right, I'm very ambitious,

0:32:56.480 --> 0:33:00.480
<v Speaker 2>business school of all Street. This is who I take

0:33:00.480 --> 0:33:02.120
<v Speaker 2>it or leave it. I can't help it.

0:33:03.080 --> 0:33:06.280
<v Speaker 1>I just don't like I'm worried that if you have

0:33:06.400 --> 0:33:09.280
<v Speaker 1>sex with one person, like I don't want you to

0:33:09.320 --> 0:33:12.200
<v Speaker 1>ever wonder like what would it be like with somebody else,

0:33:12.320 --> 0:33:15.120
<v Speaker 1>or or what if it's not great sex? And you're like,

0:33:15.160 --> 0:33:16.520
<v Speaker 1>but I had sex with this one, so I have

0:33:16.600 --> 0:33:18.440
<v Speaker 1>to marry him, and this is it for me, like

0:33:18.480 --> 0:33:18.960
<v Speaker 1>both of me.

0:33:19.120 --> 0:33:20.520
<v Speaker 2>So we already at him.

0:33:20.800 --> 0:33:23.640
<v Speaker 1>We're not talking about him. But let me wait. I

0:33:23.680 --> 0:33:27.200
<v Speaker 1>have a question, are you still, like, technically, would you

0:33:27.240 --> 0:33:29.479
<v Speaker 1>still be a virgin if you had anal sex?

0:33:30.800 --> 0:33:33.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't have the qualifications to answer that question.

0:33:33.920 --> 0:33:37.360
<v Speaker 1>You just got two business for me. You don't have

0:33:37.400 --> 0:33:53.720
<v Speaker 1>the qualifications? What what do I know? I heard a

0:33:53.840 --> 0:33:58.320
<v Speaker 1>rumor that, like certain religions believe they won't have sex

0:33:58.360 --> 0:34:02.760
<v Speaker 1>before marriage, but they think like having anal is like, well,

0:34:02.880 --> 0:34:06.720
<v Speaker 1>I lose my virginity, so it's different. Have you heard this.

0:34:07.720 --> 0:34:12.000
<v Speaker 2>I heard a little bit kind of yeah, yes.

0:34:12.360 --> 0:34:15.319
<v Speaker 1>You don't have the qualifications. Yeah you do, you have

0:34:15.360 --> 0:34:15.800
<v Speaker 1>a butt.

0:34:16.600 --> 0:34:18.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, But like, I'm also a prude, So like, who

0:34:18.960 --> 0:34:21.680
<v Speaker 2>am I to answer what you asked? Oh?

0:34:22.000 --> 0:34:25.200
<v Speaker 1>You should you're self professed prude. I don't think you're

0:34:25.200 --> 0:34:25.800
<v Speaker 1>a prude.

0:34:26.239 --> 0:34:28.480
<v Speaker 2>What makes you think I am not a prude?

0:34:28.800 --> 0:34:33.279
<v Speaker 1>I think you use that to control the narrative of

0:34:33.400 --> 0:34:36.759
<v Speaker 1>what why you do certain things? So you say I

0:34:37.160 --> 0:34:39.560
<v Speaker 1>don't know. I'm just a prude because then it gets

0:34:39.560 --> 0:34:40.120
<v Speaker 1>you off the hook.

0:34:40.920 --> 0:34:41.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm a proud prude.

0:34:43.200 --> 0:34:47.279
<v Speaker 1>I'm a proud prude. Oh, I can't wait till you're

0:34:47.320 --> 0:34:48.440
<v Speaker 1>reformed prude.

0:34:50.080 --> 0:34:51.160
<v Speaker 2>What does that means?

0:34:51.520 --> 0:34:53.399
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I'm not sure. I spend one night

0:34:53.440 --> 0:34:55.440
<v Speaker 1>out in the town with me. I'll get you to

0:34:55.520 --> 0:34:56.120
<v Speaker 1>doing things.

0:34:56.120 --> 0:35:02.839
<v Speaker 2>Sister, my favorite drink is sex WEEPI why didn't you

0:35:02.960 --> 0:35:03.600
<v Speaker 2>choose that?

0:35:03.719 --> 0:35:05.160
<v Speaker 1>You did it on purpose?

0:35:06.200 --> 0:35:08.600
<v Speaker 2>You know. My first drink ever, I was twenty one

0:35:08.600 --> 0:35:12.280
<v Speaker 2>and a half. It was actually a screwdriver that's Orange

0:35:12.320 --> 0:35:16.640
<v Speaker 2>Co vodka. And then what is happening right? No? And

0:35:16.680 --> 0:35:19.880
<v Speaker 2>then I in my twenties, I was addicted to cocktails.

0:35:20.560 --> 0:35:21.920
<v Speaker 2>That was all I would have and I'm like, I

0:35:21.960 --> 0:35:24.279
<v Speaker 2>love And then my friends, my femal friends, you know,

0:35:24.320 --> 0:35:26.560
<v Speaker 2>we used to go out and my parents, even in

0:35:26.560 --> 0:35:28.520
<v Speaker 2>my twenties, my parents knew who I was going out with.

0:35:28.560 --> 0:35:30.520
<v Speaker 2>My mom would bug me like when you come home,

0:35:31.080 --> 0:35:32.600
<v Speaker 2>you know, like and.

0:35:32.560 --> 0:35:35.239
<v Speaker 1>Even when you get intoxicated, you don't feel like a

0:35:35.239 --> 0:35:37.560
<v Speaker 1>little bit like ooh, letting lose? Like do you have

0:35:37.600 --> 0:35:43.520
<v Speaker 1>an alter ego? Sonali? I do. Her name's Terry. She

0:35:43.640 --> 0:35:47.480
<v Speaker 1>comes out after about three drinks. She's so fun and

0:35:47.520 --> 0:35:50.439
<v Speaker 1>she does thinks I would never do for my bid

0:35:50.440 --> 0:35:54.600
<v Speaker 1>would crude? Terry goes, Wow, she just likes the party.

0:35:55.160 --> 0:35:58.840
<v Speaker 2>I like parties too. I'm a social extrovert.

0:35:59.400 --> 0:36:01.920
<v Speaker 1>No, not like not like I don't like parties, but

0:36:01.960 --> 0:36:04.000
<v Speaker 1>like she's like, whoo, like it's the same life for

0:36:04.080 --> 0:36:04.399
<v Speaker 1>the party.

0:36:04.440 --> 0:36:08.439
<v Speaker 2>Like she's like, ah, I do become a different person

0:36:08.520 --> 0:36:09.560
<v Speaker 2>after a few cocktails?

0:36:09.640 --> 0:36:14.120
<v Speaker 1>Yes, oh yes, like how like like I never I've never.

0:36:14.040 --> 0:36:17.719
<v Speaker 2>Hooked up with a guy.

0:36:15.320 --> 0:36:22.040
<v Speaker 1>I done that. Like do you become like more like loud,

0:36:22.280 --> 0:36:26.560
<v Speaker 1>fun like like more extroverted? You do?

0:36:26.680 --> 0:36:27.239
<v Speaker 2>Affirmative?

0:36:27.320 --> 0:36:32.400
<v Speaker 1>Yes, more like not prudish. I don't even think prude

0:36:32.440 --> 0:36:39.000
<v Speaker 1>is has to be sexual. Do you curse when I'm

0:36:39.040 --> 0:36:39.640
<v Speaker 1>really mad?

0:36:40.040 --> 0:36:46.520
<v Speaker 2>Yes? Usually an everyday conversation. Now, because that's another thing

0:36:46.560 --> 0:36:49.239
<v Speaker 2>my dad planted in my head. He would always use

0:36:49.280 --> 0:36:53.000
<v Speaker 2>the F word left and right, so you couldn't you know,

0:36:53.080 --> 0:36:54.640
<v Speaker 2>So then my sister and I, you know, kids, we

0:36:54.680 --> 0:36:56.960
<v Speaker 2>pick up what our parents do and say right in

0:36:57.000 --> 0:36:59.160
<v Speaker 2>any culture. So then my sister and I would start

0:36:59.200 --> 0:37:01.200
<v Speaker 2>using the F word, and he reprimanded us. You said,

0:37:01.200 --> 0:37:04.040
<v Speaker 2>Indian girls don't use bad words. And then in my head.

0:37:04.080 --> 0:37:07.239
<v Speaker 2>I was thinking girls, girls can't do that, but then

0:37:07.239 --> 0:37:07.760
<v Speaker 2>you can.

0:37:09.200 --> 0:37:14.799
<v Speaker 1>So sexualized. It's it's so double standard, it's so messed up.

0:37:15.800 --> 0:37:17.279
<v Speaker 1>What's your favorite curse word?

0:37:20.760 --> 0:37:28.880
<v Speaker 2>Mh, I've never thought about that before. I have to

0:37:28.880 --> 0:37:35.759
<v Speaker 2>think about it. I'm not mad right now. I no

0:37:35.920 --> 0:37:37.480
<v Speaker 2>curse words come to mind or anything.

0:37:38.719 --> 0:37:38.879
<v Speaker 1>You.

0:37:42.280 --> 0:37:45.080
<v Speaker 2>I had a job once where I had a bitch boss.

0:37:45.120 --> 0:37:48.120
<v Speaker 2>I did, and I started using the word the term

0:37:48.200 --> 0:37:49.279
<v Speaker 2>bitch boss left and right.

0:37:49.320 --> 0:37:55.680
<v Speaker 1>I just I like that bitch boss. Okay, I won't

0:37:55.680 --> 0:37:56.760
<v Speaker 1>do this to you anymore.

0:37:57.320 --> 0:38:00.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm also not supposed to use profanity. But anyway, you

0:38:00.000 --> 0:38:00.840
<v Speaker 2>asked me a question, so.

0:38:04.239 --> 0:38:08.080
<v Speaker 1>Oh my, the list of things you're not supposed to do.

0:38:12.960 --> 0:38:13.640
<v Speaker 2>No comments.

0:38:14.080 --> 0:38:17.319
<v Speaker 1>But you're a workaholic, you're allowed. You're not supposed to

0:38:17.360 --> 0:38:17.960
<v Speaker 1>work either.

0:38:18.400 --> 0:38:20.520
<v Speaker 2>I was supposed to plopped a million kids by now, right.

0:38:20.640 --> 0:38:25.160
<v Speaker 1>I just want to talk to your dad. I just

0:38:25.640 --> 0:38:27.439
<v Speaker 1>want to talk to your.

0:38:28.840 --> 0:38:29.319
<v Speaker 2>Good luck.

0:38:29.840 --> 0:38:33.080
<v Speaker 1>Just really, I'm very charming.

0:38:34.440 --> 0:38:40.760
<v Speaker 2>Ago. What's that his birthday was two days ago? Give

0:38:40.160 --> 0:38:42.479
<v Speaker 2>them a hug. That's me asked about the show because

0:38:42.480 --> 0:38:44.640
<v Speaker 2>we were talking and I kind of dis dodged the bullet.

0:38:44.719 --> 0:38:52.839
<v Speaker 1>If somebody is going to tell him I saw your God,

0:38:52.840 --> 0:38:54.759
<v Speaker 1>I just got so fucking passionate, and I.

0:38:54.760 --> 0:38:56.400
<v Speaker 2>Just sort it already happened.

0:38:56.600 --> 0:38:59.000
<v Speaker 1>Someone is going to I'm just telling you right now,

0:39:00.080 --> 0:39:02.319
<v Speaker 1>your name is going to be everywhere because this show,

0:39:02.400 --> 0:39:04.920
<v Speaker 1>by the way, is so good, it's going to make you.

0:39:05.040 --> 0:39:07.319
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm so thrilled to hear that toy happened. What

0:39:07.360 --> 0:39:08.439
<v Speaker 2>you're saying, So.

0:39:08.440 --> 0:39:10.640
<v Speaker 1>It's so good. I can't believe no one's done this

0:39:10.800 --> 0:39:13.840
<v Speaker 1>sooner and next. I want them to do a competition

0:39:14.000 --> 0:39:15.839
<v Speaker 1>version of it, and I want to host it because

0:39:15.880 --> 0:39:18.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm the world's most famous virgin on TV.

0:39:19.360 --> 0:39:21.520
<v Speaker 2>You know, Torri had already actually did happen. Listen to this,

0:39:21.800 --> 0:39:25.200
<v Speaker 2>so what listen? Hear me out. Funny story, but it's true.

0:39:25.760 --> 0:39:28.440
<v Speaker 2>When I was twenty nine, my dad told all my

0:39:28.480 --> 0:39:31.040
<v Speaker 2>extended family, because I come from a big, fat Indian

0:39:31.040 --> 0:39:32.560
<v Speaker 2>family that most of them are in New Jersey or

0:39:32.600 --> 0:39:35.319
<v Speaker 2>in India. My dad told all my extended family that

0:39:35.360 --> 0:39:37.680
<v Speaker 2>I was already married. I had a small out of

0:39:37.719 --> 0:39:41.200
<v Speaker 2>private ceremony and we're I'm settled down. This was I

0:39:41.239 --> 0:39:44.360
<v Speaker 2>was twenty nine. I'm like, okay, fine, Tory. I was

0:39:44.400 --> 0:39:46.800
<v Speaker 2>thirty three when I went on The Doctor Phil Show.

0:39:47.080 --> 0:39:50.200
<v Speaker 2>That was the first time I publicly revealed my vico

0:39:50.600 --> 0:39:50.879
<v Speaker 2>on the.

0:39:50.840 --> 0:39:52.160
<v Speaker 1>Doctor phil Show.

0:39:53.719 --> 0:40:00.200
<v Speaker 2>Because he was I saw something else, Doctor Phil, I say,

0:40:00.239 --> 0:40:03.279
<v Speaker 2>December twenty twenty, Okay, we're all stuck at home. I

0:40:03.320 --> 0:40:05.120
<v Speaker 2>had nothing else to do, right. I was scrolling social

0:40:05.160 --> 0:40:09.320
<v Speaker 2>media and I saw posting on Instagram. The Doctor Philip

0:40:09.320 --> 0:40:12.120
<v Speaker 2>Show was looking to help millennials with their love life.

0:40:12.280 --> 0:40:14.160
<v Speaker 2>So I sent in my spiel and they loved me.

0:40:14.239 --> 0:40:14.719
<v Speaker 1>They had me.

0:40:14.880 --> 0:40:16.759
<v Speaker 2>So then that was December twenty twenty, and I didn't

0:40:16.760 --> 0:40:18.319
<v Speaker 2>tell my folks. They were stuck in India during the

0:40:18.360 --> 0:40:22.560
<v Speaker 2>lockdown during the pandemic. March twenty twenty two, my final

0:40:22.600 --> 0:40:26.000
<v Speaker 2>grandparent passed away. There's a I didn't go to the funeral.

0:40:26.000 --> 0:40:28.880
<v Speaker 2>I cried here America was very close to her. My

0:40:29.040 --> 0:40:32.160
<v Speaker 2>aunt in New Jersey, my dad's older sister. She went

0:40:32.200 --> 0:40:34.120
<v Speaker 2>to India for the funeral because it was their mom

0:40:34.160 --> 0:40:37.640
<v Speaker 2>who passed away. My aunt saw my doctor Phil Clip.

0:40:37.480 --> 0:40:41.920
<v Speaker 1>Go and told you and told your family, yes, because.

0:40:41.640 --> 0:40:43.279
<v Speaker 2>She was My dad told me this a few days

0:40:43.280 --> 0:40:45.799
<v Speaker 2>after the funeral. We were video chatting and he was like,

0:40:45.880 --> 0:40:48.239
<v Speaker 2>you know, your aunt she told me that she found

0:40:48.280 --> 0:40:50.600
<v Speaker 2>your doctor Phil Clip you're talking about virginity at age

0:40:50.600 --> 0:40:53.239
<v Speaker 2>thirty three? Why did you go on on online and

0:40:53.280 --> 0:40:55.399
<v Speaker 2>talk about that? Because I told everybody at twenty nine

0:40:55.400 --> 0:40:57.920
<v Speaker 2>you were married, and you started yelling at me. I

0:40:58.000 --> 0:41:03.879
<v Speaker 2>hung up, that's what do you I can't. I still

0:41:03.920 --> 0:41:05.319
<v Speaker 2>do to this day. I still don't know what he

0:41:05.360 --> 0:41:07.800
<v Speaker 2>told her because obviously he lied, right, he was ashamed

0:41:07.800 --> 0:41:10.600
<v Speaker 2>of the truth. So if he was ashamed at twenty nine,

0:41:11.480 --> 0:41:13.160
<v Speaker 2>then I wasn't married at you know, how do you

0:41:13.160 --> 0:41:14.040
<v Speaker 2>think he feels now?

0:41:16.120 --> 0:41:19.040
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, but I'm just I'm just pre warning you

0:41:19.440 --> 0:41:23.799
<v Speaker 1>that somebody, because they're going to see you everywhere, is

0:41:23.840 --> 0:41:24.440
<v Speaker 1>going to be like.

0:41:25.400 --> 0:41:28.960
<v Speaker 2>Ps, she's thirty seven and still not married.

0:41:29.160 --> 0:41:33.040
<v Speaker 1>Always on a reality show about virgins.

0:41:33.440 --> 0:41:37.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh well, across that bridge when I get.

0:41:37.719 --> 0:41:42.120
<v Speaker 1>There, Oh my gosh, Like this is wild.

0:41:42.800 --> 0:41:46.600
<v Speaker 2>Look the East and the West. It's different values and

0:41:46.800 --> 0:41:50.320
<v Speaker 2>standards and ways of thinking. But neither is right nor wrong.

0:41:50.480 --> 0:41:51.680
<v Speaker 2>They're just different.

0:41:51.719 --> 0:41:52.400
<v Speaker 1>I understand.

0:41:52.760 --> 0:41:53.520
<v Speaker 2>It is what it is.

0:41:55.520 --> 0:41:58.799
<v Speaker 1>It can change though. We can always evolve. We don't

0:41:58.840 --> 0:42:00.319
<v Speaker 1>have to be stuck in the past.

0:42:00.480 --> 0:42:00.920
<v Speaker 2>I agree.

0:42:01.440 --> 0:42:05.560
<v Speaker 1>You know, that's like US American women saying, you know, well,

0:42:05.560 --> 0:42:08.799
<v Speaker 1>in the nineteen fifties, like you know, women were home

0:42:08.880 --> 0:42:11.520
<v Speaker 1>cooking and men went to work and that's all we

0:42:11.560 --> 0:42:16.400
<v Speaker 1>did was raise children and you know, cook and service

0:42:16.480 --> 0:42:17.560
<v Speaker 1>drink when he got home.

0:42:17.880 --> 0:42:21.680
<v Speaker 2>Show you something. This is the only thing I cook smooth.

0:42:25.560 --> 0:42:27.640
<v Speaker 2>When I was thirteen, my dad tried teaching me how

0:42:27.640 --> 0:42:29.759
<v Speaker 2>to cook Indian food. I was like, why I have

0:42:29.840 --> 0:42:32.120
<v Speaker 2>you guys than my mom and my dad, And he's like,

0:42:32.280 --> 0:42:33.520
<v Speaker 2>you have to learn how to cook so you can

0:42:33.560 --> 0:42:36.279
<v Speaker 2>cook your Indian husband. I'm like, screw that, But I

0:42:36.320 --> 0:42:37.000
<v Speaker 2>didn't say screw that.

0:42:37.000 --> 0:42:41.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, by the way, American men like like food too,

0:42:41.680 --> 0:42:45.640
<v Speaker 1>so I don't want to cook. But again, like what

0:42:45.680 --> 0:42:48.560
<v Speaker 1>if I had been Like what if that existed? Like

0:42:48.640 --> 0:42:52.480
<v Speaker 1>that's the way it is, Like that doesn't exist. We've evolved,

0:42:52.640 --> 0:42:56.440
<v Speaker 1>We've changed. Like you know, I still have friends that

0:42:56.800 --> 0:42:59.399
<v Speaker 1>have married and they're stay at home moms and that's

0:42:59.440 --> 0:43:03.200
<v Speaker 1>the life they I'm driven, I'm a workaholic. I would

0:43:03.239 --> 0:43:07.000
<v Speaker 1>never do that. But like he needs their own right,

0:43:07.280 --> 0:43:11.080
<v Speaker 1>So why in India does it does it all still

0:43:11.120 --> 0:43:14.279
<v Speaker 1>have to apply? Why haven't they evolved?

0:43:15.280 --> 0:43:18.359
<v Speaker 2>They have evolved. It's the world's most populoust country. How

0:43:18.360 --> 0:43:19.520
<v Speaker 2>did it get to be that way?

0:43:21.280 --> 0:43:24.240
<v Speaker 1>Because the men are still working and have their women

0:43:24.280 --> 0:43:26.640
<v Speaker 1>in home popping out kids. But it's not.

0:43:28.920 --> 0:43:29.799
<v Speaker 2>It's complicated.

0:43:30.440 --> 0:43:33.840
<v Speaker 1>It is complicated. It's just I don't know.

0:43:35.040 --> 0:43:37.120
<v Speaker 2>All I know for sure is that I don't have

0:43:37.160 --> 0:43:40.240
<v Speaker 2>a biological clock. I have a beautiful Bulova watch stuff.

0:43:41.560 --> 0:43:46.040
<v Speaker 2>I do like that watch, and I bought myself financially independent.

0:43:47.080 --> 0:43:49.920
<v Speaker 1>Oh here's what I need you to do. What I

0:43:50.000 --> 0:43:57.439
<v Speaker 1>need you to look into freezing your eggs? Oh boy, yeah,

0:43:57.680 --> 0:43:59.560
<v Speaker 1>those are my parting words to you. I need I

0:43:59.600 --> 0:44:02.919
<v Speaker 1>need you to do that because no one told us this,

0:44:03.400 --> 0:44:06.040
<v Speaker 1>like that there's a time clock, and it's like, well,

0:44:06.080 --> 0:44:08.400
<v Speaker 1>what if you later in life meet the person and

0:44:08.400 --> 0:44:10.880
<v Speaker 1>you're like, gosh, I wish I had had kids. And

0:44:11.280 --> 0:44:14.120
<v Speaker 1>I feel like every woman should do it because you

0:44:14.239 --> 0:44:16.840
<v Speaker 1>never know what's going to happen, even young women like.

0:44:16.920 --> 0:44:19.880
<v Speaker 2>No, Tori, that'll be another show. I'll be filmed around

0:44:20.000 --> 0:44:21.440
<v Speaker 2>town trying to make that happen.

0:44:23.160 --> 0:44:30.799
<v Speaker 1>Can I produce sure? Okay? Okay? Oh oh oh, toy.

0:44:30.840 --> 0:44:32.600
<v Speaker 2>I want to I want to ask you something like

0:44:33.360 --> 0:44:34.000
<v Speaker 2>your character.

0:44:34.719 --> 0:44:35.720
<v Speaker 1>Yes, Donna.

0:44:37.239 --> 0:44:40.160
<v Speaker 2>Look, I wasn't allowed to watch the show. Full House

0:44:40.239 --> 0:44:42.839
<v Speaker 2>was an extreme exception, right, but anyway, I read about it.

0:44:43.120 --> 0:44:44.879
<v Speaker 2>When I knew it, we were going to meet like this,

0:44:46.800 --> 0:44:50.799
<v Speaker 2>your character is Catholic. Yes, the fourth guy I ever

0:44:50.880 --> 0:44:54.160
<v Speaker 2>let kiss me, he was Catholic, okay, and all we

0:44:54.200 --> 0:44:56.600
<v Speaker 2>did was kiss. This was after that he knew about

0:44:56.600 --> 0:44:58.840
<v Speaker 2>the V card, and so I had.

0:45:00.800 --> 0:45:01.959
<v Speaker 1>Did you call it a V card?

0:45:02.600 --> 0:45:04.000
<v Speaker 2>Well, I was on Tammer and Hall show and she

0:45:04.560 --> 0:45:05.680
<v Speaker 2>also called it the V card.

0:45:05.719 --> 0:45:06.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay.

0:45:07.120 --> 0:45:09.640
<v Speaker 2>So then he knew that my body count was zero.

0:45:09.760 --> 0:45:12.839
<v Speaker 2>This was before mister T. I asked him what his

0:45:12.880 --> 0:45:16.319
<v Speaker 2>body count was he said ten or twelve. In my head,

0:45:16.360 --> 0:45:19.120
<v Speaker 2>I was thinking, you don't even remember, like, and he

0:45:19.200 --> 0:45:22.480
<v Speaker 2>was Catholic and so and you know, and I brought

0:45:22.520 --> 0:45:25.880
<v Speaker 2>about the seven sins. I'm like, he's a hypocrite, like

0:45:26.000 --> 0:45:28.680
<v Speaker 2>ten or twelve he didn't practice. What kind of Catholic

0:45:28.719 --> 0:45:28.920
<v Speaker 2>is he?

0:45:28.960 --> 0:45:29.240
<v Speaker 1>Really?

0:45:30.120 --> 0:45:32.400
<v Speaker 2>Also then he was like, oh, I want two or

0:45:32.400 --> 0:45:34.160
<v Speaker 2>three kids, And I'm like, what do I look like

0:45:34.160 --> 0:45:35.480
<v Speaker 2>a machine?

0:45:37.040 --> 0:45:41.399
<v Speaker 1>Like yeah, that's just a conversation, like we all want

0:45:41.440 --> 0:45:43.160
<v Speaker 1>what we want. Like I grew up in a family

0:45:43.520 --> 0:45:45.439
<v Speaker 1>there were two kids, so I always thought like, oh,

0:45:45.520 --> 0:45:51.320
<v Speaker 1>I want two kids, doesn't mean I'm like no, no, no, Yes,

0:45:51.719 --> 0:45:56.640
<v Speaker 1>my character was Catholic. And that was a big reason

0:45:56.880 --> 0:46:01.279
<v Speaker 1>I think she held onto her virginity. But also I

0:46:01.320 --> 0:46:06.840
<v Speaker 1>got to say, like I loved that character for that reason,

0:46:06.960 --> 0:46:11.680
<v Speaker 1>because I can't tell you over the decades how many

0:46:11.719 --> 0:46:15.799
<v Speaker 1>people people still say it that women and men were

0:46:15.840 --> 0:46:19.120
<v Speaker 1>like you know, girls and boys were like you showed

0:46:19.120 --> 0:46:21.520
<v Speaker 1>that it was okay, you could still be normal, Like

0:46:21.560 --> 0:46:24.200
<v Speaker 1>you could be popular, you could be cool, you could

0:46:24.760 --> 0:46:27.840
<v Speaker 1>you know, because people think like, oh, the virgin, like

0:46:27.880 --> 0:46:28.560
<v Speaker 1>no one wanted to.

0:46:29.640 --> 0:46:31.920
<v Speaker 2>Here's how I look at it. Everybody is a virgin

0:46:32.040 --> 0:46:35.920
<v Speaker 2>until some point in their lives. Yes, a culture or

0:46:36.120 --> 0:46:38.520
<v Speaker 2>ethnicity or religion, so like I'm not a.

0:46:38.480 --> 0:46:42.319
<v Speaker 1>Freek oh my gosh. Numbers were really huge for me.

0:46:42.560 --> 0:46:48.800
<v Speaker 1>I in American terms, I think I lost my virginity

0:46:49.040 --> 0:46:51.719
<v Speaker 1>kind of late. Like all my friends already had like

0:46:52.160 --> 0:46:54.439
<v Speaker 1>are you talking on the show or like no, no, no

0:46:54.600 --> 0:46:55.160
<v Speaker 1>in real life.

0:46:55.200 --> 0:46:55.279
<v Speaker 2>No.

0:46:55.600 --> 0:46:57.560
<v Speaker 1>In the show, it was season eight, so I was

0:46:57.600 --> 0:47:00.680
<v Speaker 1>in my twenties. Yeah, but I ended up marrying him,

0:47:00.719 --> 0:47:03.560
<v Speaker 1>so that was fine in the show. Oh okay, and

0:47:03.800 --> 0:47:07.120
<v Speaker 1>David and Donna. It's the twenty fifth wedding anniversary this year.

0:47:07.280 --> 0:47:13.680
<v Speaker 1>Oh yay, still going strong on TV. Everything lives and

0:47:13.920 --> 0:47:17.040
<v Speaker 1>keeps going and is great on TV. But yeah, I

0:47:17.200 --> 0:47:20.319
<v Speaker 1>remember a number thing was really important to me, Like

0:47:20.400 --> 0:47:23.600
<v Speaker 1>I cried when I lost my virginity in real life,

0:47:24.120 --> 0:47:26.960
<v Speaker 1>and my friends were like, and it was my first boyfriend,

0:47:27.080 --> 0:47:29.640
<v Speaker 1>like we were in love. He was the nicest guy,

0:47:29.840 --> 0:47:32.680
<v Speaker 1>probably the last nice guy I ever dated. And it's

0:47:32.719 --> 0:47:36.359
<v Speaker 1>not sure I married one but my first husband. But yeah,

0:47:36.440 --> 0:47:40.040
<v Speaker 1>I came home and cried. I was devastated because it

0:47:40.080 --> 0:47:42.600
<v Speaker 1>was such like a big change. It was such like,

0:47:42.719 --> 0:47:45.239
<v Speaker 1>oh my god, what did I do? Something's gone. I

0:47:45.280 --> 0:47:48.400
<v Speaker 1>felt like I was you know, I wasn't happy, and

0:47:48.480 --> 0:47:50.759
<v Speaker 1>I just remember being home in bed and crying for

0:47:50.800 --> 0:47:55.879
<v Speaker 1>like hours. And then like numbers were always a big

0:47:55.920 --> 0:47:58.360
<v Speaker 1>thing to me. I don't even know why what you like,

0:47:58.440 --> 0:48:02.040
<v Speaker 1>I have not slept with that many men. I haven't,

0:48:02.560 --> 0:48:07.320
<v Speaker 1>but I got to say when I went off one hand,

0:48:08.920 --> 0:48:11.080
<v Speaker 1>that's probably a lot for you. But yeah, when I

0:48:11.120 --> 0:48:14.280
<v Speaker 1>went to number six, I cried again.

0:48:15.160 --> 0:48:19.319
<v Speaker 2>Well, I don't know why we put ourselves through that.

0:48:19.560 --> 0:48:20.920
<v Speaker 1>Really, I don't know why.

0:48:21.120 --> 0:48:23.160
<v Speaker 2>Why are we crying? And when it comes to love

0:48:23.200 --> 0:48:26.080
<v Speaker 2>and dading, like anything.

0:48:25.920 --> 0:48:27.640
<v Speaker 1>You you want to be one and done? What do

0:48:27.680 --> 0:48:28.040
<v Speaker 1>you mean?

0:48:28.440 --> 0:48:32.560
<v Speaker 2>And even with his men anymore? He pursued me and

0:48:32.560 --> 0:48:34.200
<v Speaker 2>then he dumped it when I told him I love you.

0:48:34.239 --> 0:48:35.560
<v Speaker 2>Like what am I supposed to have done? Tell him

0:48:35.560 --> 0:48:37.520
<v Speaker 2>I hate you and tell him to rotten hell? Like,

0:48:37.840 --> 0:48:40.560
<v Speaker 2>what is wrong with love? I think?

0:48:40.600 --> 0:48:44.200
<v Speaker 1>Wait, you told him you loved him first? Yeah, oh no, no, no,

0:48:44.360 --> 0:48:45.480
<v Speaker 1>you have to play games with men.

0:48:45.800 --> 0:48:49.680
<v Speaker 2>I hate I hate games. Well, well I know that

0:48:49.680 --> 0:48:52.560
<v Speaker 2>that's what everybody does. But like, I'm very straightforward.

0:48:52.680 --> 0:48:55.920
<v Speaker 1>You have a lot of rules. We got issues, strict standards.

0:48:55.920 --> 0:48:57.840
<v Speaker 2>Sonali does have strict standards. No.

0:48:58.560 --> 0:49:00.600
<v Speaker 1>I like that you stand up for your self. I

0:49:00.719 --> 0:49:05.880
<v Speaker 1>like your confidence. It's beautiful. Actually, it's refreshing. I really

0:49:05.920 --> 0:49:09.840
<v Speaker 1>love this conversation. I didn't even know what to expect

0:49:09.880 --> 0:49:16.239
<v Speaker 1>coming in here today, and I genuinely like episode one

0:49:16.560 --> 0:49:17.200
<v Speaker 1>is great.

0:49:18.160 --> 0:49:20.760
<v Speaker 2>But wait we t minus seven days.

0:49:20.960 --> 0:49:23.839
<v Speaker 1>It is great, but it's fairy like seeing you and

0:49:24.200 --> 0:49:28.359
<v Speaker 1>talking you day. There's so much, so many facets about you.

0:49:28.480 --> 0:49:33.200
<v Speaker 1>I am literally obsessed with you. Thank you, and I'd

0:49:33.239 --> 0:49:34.399
<v Speaker 1>love to meet you one day.

0:49:35.000 --> 0:49:36.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm on board. Let's make it hand and.

0:49:36.640 --> 0:49:39.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to produce a show where you freeze your eggs.

0:49:39.600 --> 0:49:40.239
<v Speaker 2>Let's do it.

0:49:40.719 --> 0:49:45.959
<v Speaker 1>I'm really good with puns and jargons, slogans. I'm gonna

0:49:45.960 --> 0:49:47.560
<v Speaker 1>come up with something. Okay, we got this.

0:49:47.640 --> 0:49:49.480
<v Speaker 2>I can shift in there too, Okay, good.

0:49:49.719 --> 0:49:52.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because you're a brainiacc yeah, we're brainiacs.

0:49:52.960 --> 0:49:54.400
<v Speaker 2>Beauty and brains.

0:49:54.000 --> 0:49:59.040
<v Speaker 1>Woo and bods. You're like, no to proud.

0:50:01.239 --> 0:50:10.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm a smoothy addict that this is. Yeah, listen, how

0:50:10.080 --> 0:50:13.560
<v Speaker 2>you dance indicates how you make love. And I'm gonna

0:50:13.760 --> 0:50:16.359
<v Speaker 2>wants a dancer. I always a dancer, and we need

0:50:16.360 --> 0:50:17.960
<v Speaker 2>a certain body type to dance.

0:50:18.040 --> 0:50:20.600
<v Speaker 1>You know what. That maybe with women with men, though

0:50:21.080 --> 0:50:23.520
<v Speaker 1>men are always like, I can't dance, I can't dance.

0:50:24.520 --> 0:50:26.640
<v Speaker 1>But I've had ones that were good in bed.

0:50:27.560 --> 0:50:29.960
<v Speaker 2>You know who can dance? But who's that? Who's an

0:50:30.000 --> 0:50:32.759
<v Speaker 2>actor from the Sex and the City movie, the first one, Jill,

0:50:33.200 --> 0:50:37.279
<v Speaker 2>the French guy. His character name was Dante. He wasn't

0:50:37.400 --> 0:50:42.080
<v Speaker 2>dancing with the stars. He's my celebrity anyway. He can dance.

0:50:42.760 --> 0:50:47.000
<v Speaker 1>He's your celebrity crush, one of my celebrity crushes. Yeah,

0:50:47.040 --> 0:50:48.040
<v Speaker 1>y is he single?

0:50:49.040 --> 0:50:52.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I know he has kids. Let's look

0:50:52.920 --> 0:50:54.960
<v Speaker 2>it up. Things change, right, Let's look it up.

0:50:59.200 --> 0:51:00.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna I'm gonna married.

0:51:01.239 --> 0:51:03.080
<v Speaker 2>I was the one who called the shots to wrap

0:51:03.120 --> 0:51:03.520
<v Speaker 2>this up.

0:51:03.680 --> 0:51:07.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm an ordin. Yeah, we're wrapping. I'm an ordined minister.

0:51:07.320 --> 0:51:09.719
<v Speaker 1>By the way, I've actually I used to have a

0:51:09.719 --> 0:51:11.680
<v Speaker 1>wedding show. I did an Indian wedding once.

0:51:12.040 --> 0:51:12.400
<v Speaker 2>Really.

0:51:12.800 --> 0:51:15.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I've learned so much. I had such a great time.

0:51:15.920 --> 0:51:16.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm just still married.

0:51:17.800 --> 0:51:21.279
<v Speaker 1>Yes, all of my couples we did ten episodes. I'm

0:51:21.320 --> 0:51:24.040
<v Speaker 1>proud to announce all of them are still married.

0:51:24.239 --> 0:51:29.200
<v Speaker 2>Hey, the Indian marriage you officiated? How many people who

0:51:29.239 --> 0:51:29.640
<v Speaker 2>were there?

0:51:31.400 --> 0:51:34.959
<v Speaker 1>It was a lot Tori.

0:51:35.160 --> 0:51:36.560
<v Speaker 2>I did stand up comedy for a year.

0:51:36.600 --> 0:51:39.080
<v Speaker 1>I talked about I didn't officiate that one.

0:51:39.480 --> 0:51:41.160
<v Speaker 2>Oh.

0:51:39.960 --> 0:51:44.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm also a wedding planner, so I'm an ordained minister.

0:51:45.280 --> 0:51:47.640
<v Speaker 1>If someone wants me to, I can marry them. But

0:51:48.400 --> 0:51:51.280
<v Speaker 1>I also planned wedding, so I planned a wedding. Sorry,

0:51:51.520 --> 0:51:53.200
<v Speaker 1>an Indian wedding officiated.

0:51:53.480 --> 0:51:55.640
<v Speaker 2>I did stand up comedy for a year. My promise

0:51:55.800 --> 0:52:00.719
<v Speaker 2>was dating dilimma, dating dilemmas as a millennial virgin, as

0:52:00.719 --> 0:52:03.680
<v Speaker 2>an Indian American millennial virgin. One of my graden One

0:52:03.680 --> 0:52:07.319
<v Speaker 2>of my jokes was, if I ever get married, I

0:52:07.320 --> 0:52:09.600
<v Speaker 2>don't need a big fat Indian wedding with all that hoopla.

0:52:09.640 --> 0:52:11.759
<v Speaker 2>Eight hundred brides mes eight hundred people eat you brides,

0:52:11.800 --> 0:52:13.160
<v Speaker 2>mes and all that. Let's just go to Vegas and

0:52:13.160 --> 0:52:16.080
<v Speaker 2>call it a day. All that money can go to

0:52:16.120 --> 0:52:17.320
<v Speaker 2>my facelift in ten years.

0:52:20.360 --> 0:52:24.880
<v Speaker 1>It's not just the pretty face, smart girl. So true,

0:52:25.320 --> 0:52:29.520
<v Speaker 1>so true. Well, thank you, you wish. We have so much.

0:52:29.520 --> 0:52:30.520
<v Speaker 1>We're gonna do together.

0:52:31.280 --> 0:52:31.640
<v Speaker 2>Let's do.

0:52:31.800 --> 0:52:35.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I'm gonna freeze your eggs. I'm gonna find you somebody.

0:52:35.520 --> 0:52:39.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna talk to your dad maybe, and I'm going

0:52:39.600 --> 0:52:43.200
<v Speaker 1>to plan your wedding. So cool. Drop the mic, drop

0:52:43.280 --> 0:52:43.520
<v Speaker 1>the v