WEBVTT - It Goes Down in the DMs with Deandra Kanu 0:00:00.520 --> 0:00:04.680 How I Suck At Dating with Ungler and Jared Haven 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:11.360 and I heard radio podcast What's going on? Everyone? Welcome 0:00:11.360 --> 0:00:14.760 to an all new episode of Help I Suck At Dating. 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:20.040 The month is December, the year is and just like 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:23.480 earlier this year, we have a great co host with 0:00:23.600 --> 0:00:26.680 us this week, it's DeAndre Canoe. I think I'm saying 0:00:26.680 --> 0:00:31.760 the last name, right. I said Canoe and I was like, 0:00:31.880 --> 0:00:34.920 that's not a boat. She's not a boat. It's fine. Um, 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:37.199 danger we had you on I think back in like 0:00:37.360 --> 0:00:39.920 April to co host an episode with us, Right, Yes, 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:43.120 you did nice. Well how have you been, what's going on? 0:00:43.240 --> 0:00:46.000 What's been new since then? Um? I've been great. I'm 0:00:46.000 --> 0:00:47.600 still in l A because I know when I first 0:00:47.640 --> 0:00:49.720 hopped on here, I was new to l A, was 0:00:49.800 --> 0:00:51.800 so fresh. But now I'm like getting a little more 0:00:51.880 --> 0:00:55.400 used to everything of just living life. It's the holidays, 0:00:55.800 --> 0:00:58.960 so I'm really excited for that. Yeah, where you're Where 0:00:59.000 --> 0:01:03.600 are you originally from Dallas, Texas? What's dating like in 0:01:03.680 --> 0:01:07.280 Los Angeles compared to Dallas. I wouldn't know, because I've 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:11.760 yet to go on one day in l A. No, 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:14.800 it's true, is that that's got to be intentional though 0:01:15.520 --> 0:01:17.480 it's I mean, the thing is, I don't know, well, 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:19.800 when I've heard that l A dating is terrible, no 0:01:19.800 --> 0:01:22.680 one here is looking for anything real. But I just 0:01:22.800 --> 0:01:25.200 honestly haven't met anyone in l A. Like I've met 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:27.080 people outside of l A, but just not in l 0:01:27.160 --> 0:01:30.240 A that I've gone on dates with. So what do 0:01:30.280 --> 0:01:32.360 you mean in l A, like you haven't met like 0:01:32.840 --> 0:01:35.160 you like go on a trip and meet someone, or 0:01:35.319 --> 0:01:38.120 like you just haven't met anyone like the out in 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:40.240 l A. Or how does that work? That the bos 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:44.040 That's what he was gonna say. I was I don't 0:01:44.040 --> 0:01:45.760 want to I didn't want to project because that's the 0:01:45.760 --> 0:01:47.640 only where I would ever meet people. But I you know, 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:51.080 people meet every people everywhere, so well, one, I don't 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:53.800 really go out that often. Like when I go out, 0:01:53.840 --> 0:01:56.600 it's like maybe like once a month or like twice 0:01:56.600 --> 0:01:59.200 a month. So it's like I don't really get to 0:01:59.280 --> 0:02:00.840 meet a lot of people out like that. So the 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:02.760 only way I'm really meeting people is if it's like 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:05.560 I go on a trip somewhere and I happen to 0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:07.639 meet some friends or like a friend of a friends, 0:02:07.760 --> 0:02:10.120 or like Sun reaches out on Instagram which is not 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:12.639 ideal at all. But I feel like everyone that I've 0:02:12.680 --> 0:02:15.200 ever met is outside of l A. I'm not, you know, 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:17.800 I haven't really met anyone in l A. But it 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:19.919 sounds like it's not like a super high priority for you, 0:02:20.120 --> 0:02:23.560 or is it? Um? I mean, I all, I mean, 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:25.280 I would love to meet someone. I would love to 0:02:25.919 --> 0:02:29.040 date someone, but it's just like I can't force anything. 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:30.600 Like I don't want to get on Hinge, I don't 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:32.639 want to get on Tinder. I'm not there yet. I'm 0:02:32.639 --> 0:02:34.680 more so like an organic kind of data I wanted 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:37.080 to happen naturally nice. I would say the fact that 0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:39.120 you're not on any of the dating apps, um, I 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:42.440 think enforces the point that you're not making now, that 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:44.880 you're not making a priority, but that you're not going 0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:47.200 to settle for something that you don't want just to 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:50.359 have a boyfriend or a partner or whatever. You know, right, 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:52.560 I definitely don't want to date someone just to date someone. 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:54.920 I want to date really intentionally. But it's not that 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:56.960 I'm against dating apps. Eventually, I think that would be 0:02:57.000 --> 0:03:01.320 like my last ditch effort to try to the last 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:04.519 resort better than going on the Bachelor. Maybe not so much. 0:03:04.560 --> 0:03:07.960 I think that's kind of a last resort sometimes too. Um. 0:03:08.000 --> 0:03:09.560 So you live full time in l A. What part 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:13.200 of l A? Do you live in Hollywood? Okay? Nice, 0:03:13.280 --> 0:03:15.639 Well that's your first mistake. You shouldn't live in Hollywood. 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:19.640 You should live on the West Side somewhere. Jared, are 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:21.960 you in l A? No? So, I actually and I 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:25.120 lived in l A for about three and a half years. 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:26.840 We lived in West Hollywood. But I used to go 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:29.600 to the gym in Hollywood. What the hell gym did 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:33.240 I go? No? Well, I did actually go to twenty 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:35.800 four hour Fitness. There's actually funny story about that. I 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:37.520 don't know if I can tell it on air, you 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:40.560 can tell it. Let's sidebar tell the story. Well, the 0:03:40.560 --> 0:03:43.320 twenty four hour Fitness was right next to my house 0:03:43.600 --> 0:03:49.360 in l A. And there was a gentleman there who 0:03:50.040 --> 0:03:54.920 would constantly hit on me, I mean aggressively, And so 0:03:54.960 --> 0:03:56.880 every time I went to the gym, and if I 0:03:56.920 --> 0:03:59.280 saw this particular man, I'm like, you gotta be kidding me, 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:02.840 because one time he came up to me very sweet. 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:04.880 But I was on the treadmill. You guys know how 0:04:04.960 --> 0:04:07.240 awkward it is, and when you're working out you got 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:09.480 the headphones in. This is before actually and I were married, 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:13.400 so I wasn't wearing a ring yet. But so he 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:15.520 came up to me and then like he was like 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:19.920 waving me and I was like, oh, what's up? And 0:04:19.960 --> 0:04:22.120 then he was like, oh, how how many how many 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:26.320 times a week do you come here? I was like, um, 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:28.760 I'm I don't know, like four or five, you know, 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:30.800 I try to get here. He's like, dude, You're just like, 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:32.159 you know, what do you what do you do for 0:04:32.200 --> 0:04:35.200 workouts from really good shape? And I was like I 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:37.479 just you know, I I don't know, I just come in. 0:04:37.520 --> 0:04:39.480 I kind of listened weight so I do treadmill Like 0:04:39.480 --> 0:04:40.880 I don't know, I just do you know, well I 0:04:40.920 --> 0:04:43.560 appreciate that, thanks man. And then he's like yeah, you know, 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:46.520 he's we should work out some time together. And I 0:04:46.600 --> 0:04:49.760 was like, oh, um, you know, uh, you know, I 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:51.680 usually just come in like because my schedules all over 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:53.680 the place. And then even like I didn't know if 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:55.919 he was being friendly or not friendly at this time, 0:04:56.240 --> 0:04:59.000 so I was just like, well, I'm not looking for 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:00.880 a workout, but anyway, becau just like going to the gym, 0:05:01.000 --> 0:05:03.039 keep my headphones on, get the hell out. And then 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:05.120 every time I'd go back and I see this guy 0:05:05.160 --> 0:05:08.479 and he was there quite often as well. Immediately would 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:10.520 come out to me and then asked if I wanted 0:05:10.560 --> 0:05:12.159 to get drink one time, and then I said I 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:15.279 wasn't a relationship, but then I don't know, it's still 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:17.320 like awkward. So I literally left that gym because of 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:19.800 that guy. Honestly, that can be so awkward knowing that 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:21.359 one wants to hit on you in the place that 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:23.160 you go to, like the zone at work out. There's 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:26.320 nothing worse. Oh so then I was so then this 0:05:27.080 --> 0:05:29.320 fitness has like an ab room, so it's like a 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:32.680 small little eight by eight room in the back and 0:05:32.720 --> 0:05:36.240 so a room. Oh there goes Jared, there he goes, 0:05:37.080 --> 0:05:39.520 and anyways, I think that's what what he was gonna say. 0:05:39.560 --> 0:05:44.600 That's when he first kissed this gentleman. Um So, okay, 0:05:44.640 --> 0:05:46.480 so daving is not a priority for you. We'll we'll 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:48.120 get off that until Jared comes back in here and 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:53.520 rejoins us. But um so, so like you go on 0:05:53.560 --> 0:05:55.120 these trips, you meet these guys, but they don't live 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:56.880 in l A. That's obviously a bummer. You don't want 0:05:56.920 --> 0:06:01.800 to go any dating apps, but what, like you, obviously 0:06:02.160 --> 0:06:04.000 I want to find someone eventually, right, So what do 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:07.400 you think are you doing anything like right to find 0:06:07.440 --> 0:06:10.480 a person right now or are you just kind of 0:06:10.520 --> 0:06:12.760 going along with your life and hopefully someone falls into it, 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:16.880 because like we kind of mentioned too earlier. Um, they're 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:18.680 like they're not not that desperate is the word I 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:20.240 want to use. But like, when you're really looking for 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:23.200 a partner, you tend to like cut some corners right 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:26.200 and like slack. So that's not something you're willing to do, 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:29.080 is what you're saying. Yeah, so, well, being twenty six, 0:06:29.120 --> 0:06:32.560 I feel like my clock is ticking. You're only six, yeah, 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:36.880 but I feel old. I'm like, I don't know why. 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:38.840 And I mean this in the most polite way, like 0:06:39.120 --> 0:06:41.960 I guess that your maturity. Uh, I thought you were 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:45.680 like twenty nine or thirty really, And I mean, like 0:06:45.760 --> 0:06:48.760 that's not I'm not like just like you don't get 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:51.520 me wrong, but you seem like a very mature person. 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:54.200 And I think that's part of the problem. Is I 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:55.960 definitely want to date, Like I'm a lover. I'm a 0:06:56.000 --> 0:06:58.200 lover girl. I want to date. I want to be 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:00.760 in a relationship. But what I ound is the more 0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:03.440 that I was like searching, the more I was finding 0:07:03.520 --> 0:07:06.160 people who weren't mentally where I am, so like I 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:07.880 would starting on the pool and then I would find 0:07:07.880 --> 0:07:09.600 out that they're really immature, they're not looking for a 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:12.120 relationship or you know, they don't have the same morals 0:07:12.160 --> 0:07:14.400 and values as me. And it just became a thing 0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:16.800 where I'd rather be super selective and go on a 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:19.840 date like once every two months with a person who's 0:07:20.200 --> 0:07:22.640 mentally watched with me, then hanging out with a bunch 0:07:22.680 --> 0:07:26.920 of different guys just to kind of see, yeah, you know, 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:29.720 and see there in lines the maturity to that a 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:33.440 twenty six year old barely encompass it. So because I mean, 0:07:33.480 --> 0:07:35.240 I agree with you, I waste your time? Why waste 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:38.400 their time? Hey, Jared, Welcome back to the podcast. Hey, 0:07:38.680 --> 0:07:41.080 So my computer died even though it was charging, which 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:43.200 makes me really sad because this has been happening over 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:46.080 the past few weeks. Which the reason it's so sad 0:07:46.600 --> 0:07:48.360 is because I think there's something wrong with my computer 0:07:48.440 --> 0:07:50.360 and I don't want to buy another one because my 0:07:50.520 --> 0:07:55.160 entire life is on here and it's just like, damn it, 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:58.360 I hope nothing. I just it was literally plugged in 0:07:58.360 --> 0:07:59.560 and then it just turned off. And this is not 0:07:59.600 --> 0:08:01.720 the first time what's happened. It makes me quite It 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:04.720 makes me quite worried because like, I don't want to 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:08.120 get it. My whole little laptop, I know, but it's 0:08:08.200 --> 0:08:11.240 very expensive. And then everything is on here, like, oh my, 0:08:11.440 --> 0:08:13.360 I don't know any of my passwords because everything is 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:15.880 just automatically locked in. If somebody had this computer, my 0:08:15.880 --> 0:08:19.520 whole life would be you know, Dawn, I shouldn't let's 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:23.240 cut that, Let's keep it. I think it's important. It's 0:08:23.280 --> 0:08:26.560 important for our listeners to know how attached to your 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:28.720 laptop you are. How old is the laptop? Is it 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:31.920 like twenty years old? No? How old is this laptop? 0:08:31.960 --> 0:08:33.319 We bought it when we first got together, right, so 0:08:33.440 --> 0:08:37.080 two that was an eighteen it's like four years almost 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:40.120 five years now. That's not bad. No, that's not bad 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:42.520 at all. Quick sidebar on your sidebar, I bought a 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:45.480 new laptop like a year ago. Best investment I've ever made. Anyways, 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:47.880 continue on with your ab rooms part of your story. 0:08:48.240 --> 0:08:49.959 Appreciate it. So I was in the ab room, which 0:08:50.000 --> 0:08:52.280 is in the back, and this was the last time 0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:54.360 I went to that gym. I'll never forget it. And 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:58.000 I was laying down because every time I saw this guy, 0:08:58.160 --> 0:09:00.679 I would immediately just go in the other direction, right, 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:03.120 so like he was near the weights, I'd go to 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:05.520 the treadmill. If he was near the treadmills, I go 0:09:05.600 --> 0:09:09.520 near the weights. So then I'm I forgot to tell 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:12.120 you this too. This is an important part of the story. 0:09:12.440 --> 0:09:16.520 He gave me his number, well because he I of 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:20.560 course had my phone playing music, and he goes, oh, 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:22.760 you should take my number sometime we'll hang out. I 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:24.760 was like, yeah, sure. Like he's like, just text me 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:27.200 your number. I said, yeah, okay, So of course I 0:09:27.200 --> 0:09:30.880 take his number, never text him. Ignore, like going on 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:34.920 with my life. Then I'm in the alb room laying 0:09:34.920 --> 0:09:37.080 down doing my crunches or whatever the hell I'm doing. 0:09:37.320 --> 0:09:39.800 And then I look up and guess who walks in? 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:41.520 And the problem is, this is like an eight by 0:09:41.559 --> 0:09:44.920 eight room and I'm literally on the floor. I got 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:47.320 nowhere to go. He goes, hey, man, what's going on? 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:48.840 I said, oh, hey, glad, good to see you, bro. 0:09:48.960 --> 0:09:50.960 What you know blah blah blah. He goes, hey, you 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:54.080 never texted me? I said, oh, I'm so sorry, man, 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:56.160 just been super busy and just a lot going on. 0:09:56.280 --> 0:09:59.160 He goes and he literally, you're not. He goes, well, 0:09:59.200 --> 0:10:00.960 your phone's right there. Just just text me right now, 0:10:01.040 --> 0:10:04.120 so I have your number. And I was like, I 0:10:04.160 --> 0:10:06.040 don't know how am I gonna get out of this one? 0:10:06.400 --> 0:10:09.760 And so then I can't believe I did it. I 0:10:09.760 --> 0:10:12.080 I was. I got up and I was like, oh, yeah, 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:15.000 I'm texting right now, like as I'm grabbing my phone 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:17.960 and walking away, and I was like, yeah, no, no, 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:20.360 I'm texting right now, dude. I'm so sorry. I'm like, 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:23.360 I'm I'm looking at you up right now. Um. He's like, yeah, dude, 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:25.360 let's hang out sometime, like just text me right now. 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:28.240 And then but he said it in like a creepy 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:30.520 way and so not in a friendly way. So I 0:10:30.559 --> 0:10:32.280 was like, and then I just I don't know what 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:33.559 the hell I said. I was like, oh, this guy 0:10:33.600 --> 0:10:37.000 is blue, I'll see you later, and then um left immediately, 0:10:37.040 --> 0:10:38.320 even though I was at the gym for five minutes, 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:39.959 didn't get to work out, and then never went back 0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:42.559 to that gym. That's a lot of pressure, dude. I 0:10:42.559 --> 0:10:44.760 couldn't believe it. The balls, the balls, for someone to 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:47.960 be like, just your phone's right there, just text me 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:52.079 and it's like, oh no. But that's the worst though. 0:10:52.120 --> 0:10:53.640 I think the worst thing is when someone that you 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:55.640 don't want comes up to you. They're like, oh, add 0:10:55.720 --> 0:10:57.640 on Instagram and you're like okay, well they're like, no, 0:10:57.720 --> 0:10:58.920 give me your phone, like I'll look it up right now. 0:10:58.960 --> 0:11:02.840 And I'm like, oh gosh, don't do that. They said, 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:06.040 don't do that. Guy. That's tough too, because then you 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:08.000 want to, like you the like post like in a 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:10.000 month or two, and you're like, who is this person? 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:12.240 How do I know this person? And then you feel 0:11:12.240 --> 0:11:14.120 like a jerk for having unfollowed them because like, obviously 0:11:14.160 --> 0:11:16.120 you're not interested in what they're doing because you don't 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:19.200 know who they are. Right. Have you ever been called 0:11:19.200 --> 0:11:24.000 out for un following someone? Yeah? I have been too. 0:11:25.120 --> 0:11:27.440 Yeah what do you say? I always just say, yeah, sorry, 0:11:27.960 --> 0:11:32.719 I'm just not interested in what you're doing in life. 0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:38.080 I wish I could, Jared. What do you say, like, oh, 0:11:38.200 --> 0:11:40.360 is a glitch an accident? Yeah? I say it was 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:42.360 an accident And I immediately followed them back and now 0:11:42.400 --> 0:11:45.280 I'm following their lives and I don't care. That's the 0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:48.400 only reason you followed me. Let's be honest tough times 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:51.280 saying no, uh de Andrew, you said, sometimes you do 0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:53.160 slide into guys dms, or do you guys slide into 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:55.880 your d M? Oh no, I would rather die than 0:11:55.960 --> 0:11:59.360 have to slide to guy's dams. But sometimes guys do. 0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:03.000 It's not always like you can kind of tell what 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:04.600 kind of guy they are when they slid into your 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:06.680 d M. So it's not always like the most fruitful 0:12:06.720 --> 0:12:09.600 slide ends. But every once in a while I'll reply, 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:13.319 you know, I mean, Kalin slid into my d M 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:16.680 S And here we are nearly four years later. Yeah, 0:12:16.720 --> 0:12:19.560 well you guys are also on a show together, were you. Yeah, 0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:21.360 that's true. She slid into my d M S and 0:12:21.400 --> 0:12:24.160 she wanted to meet up her coffee and I ditched her, 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:26.319 which is not I'm not bragging about that. I'm really 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:29.200 actually sad about it. Uh So we didn't end up 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:31.439 a really meeting until we both went on the show. 0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:34.320 But I agree with you, like the person that's gonna 0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:37.040 d M you to meet up. Maybe it's like the 0:12:37.040 --> 0:12:38.880 same kind of person you meet at a club where 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:40.760 it's like you you could find a good person that way, 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:43.600 but the odds are kind of against that happening. But 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:45.760 I also feel like if he's dm ng me, then 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:48.000 think about how many other people he's damned too, because 0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:50.320 it's like she talk like they bill shoot out five 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:52.120 and then like one or two will hit. So you 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:55.400 just never I'm not against it. I'll reply sometimes, but 0:12:55.559 --> 0:12:58.800 you can immediately kind of tell the vibe that they're giving. Yeah, 0:12:59.720 --> 0:13:02.960 that's that's interesting. I am always it's like baseball, you 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:05.199 know what I mean. If if you're in too fifty, 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:08.360 that's not that's a solid batting average right there. You're 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:22.520 still an All star. Yeah. I'm always curious because, like, 0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:25.920 guys and girls experience coming off of the show are 0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:28.839 so different in so many ways. And I've never like 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:31.400 creeped on Kalin's dms, especially before we like like when 0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:34.800 we first got together whatever. But I can only imagine 0:13:34.840 --> 0:13:38.800 like the difference in the d ms that guys versus 0:13:38.880 --> 0:13:42.160 girls get. You know, like, obviously the viewership of the 0:13:42.200 --> 0:13:44.240 show is mostly female, but you still are going to 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:46.400 have a lot of guys that, like, I guess you 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:48.040 can catch their eye and they're still gonna want to 0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:50.559 reach out. But I feel like most of my d 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:54.080 m s, especially now, but even back when I was 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:56.080 single and Jared, I don't know what your input on 0:13:56.200 --> 0:13:58.640 is on this, but like I would say, of them 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:02.640 are like middle aged married women who are just like 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:05.280 weighing in on my life. And it's never like anyone 0:14:05.280 --> 0:14:08.480 like sliding in to like holler at me. You know, 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:11.160 it's mostly people just like giving their their opinion on 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:14.839 my life. I feel like, yeah, I feel like it's 0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:17.199 kind of the same way for women a little bit. 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:19.080 There's like some guys scattered here and there, but honestly, 0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:21.000 it's a lot of women at the dems, probably because 0:14:21.040 --> 0:14:24.600 the show gets a lot of women viewership. Yeah, Jared, 0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:28.440 what are your d ms like these days? These days 0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:33.320 it's just you know, your baby is very cute, You've 0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:38.000 you've lost yourself. Uh you still have patched your facially 0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:40.040 here now I'm kidding about the last two. Usually it's 0:14:40.080 --> 0:14:43.360 just like, uh, yeah, it's it's it's people criticizing my 0:14:43.400 --> 0:14:45.160 life or telling me what I should or should not 0:14:45.160 --> 0:14:47.880 be doing. But that's okay. At least, hey, they care, 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:49.680 they care a lot. But honestly, a lot of the 0:14:49.760 --> 0:14:52.320 d ms are very nice. I still get I still 0:14:52.400 --> 0:14:56.920 check dms because like the box that says request, because 0:14:56.960 --> 0:15:02.359 sometimes they'll be like, h well, a really good opportunity, 0:15:02.760 --> 0:15:05.400 you know, from I look for the blue check marks. 0:15:05.400 --> 0:15:07.560 I'm very vain people, that's what I look for in 0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:09.240 the request. I look for the blue check marks. And 0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:13.680 I'm like, is this like some sort of really cool opportunity? Um? 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:16.240 But yeah, that's pretty much. My dms are very boring. 0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:20.160 You know, They're just a question you guys who are 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:23.240 both in relationships. Do you guys still like randomly have 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:25.400 women try to hit on you even though you're in 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:30.520 very public relationships or do you feel like no, I 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:33.960 there's like maybe a few people that are consistently my 0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:37.840 d M s saying not like inappropriate things, but definitely 0:15:37.880 --> 0:15:40.680 like shooting their shot. But that's just that's like it's 0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:43.320 not obviously as common as it was when we were single, 0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:46.200 but it is interesting because I'll like see a message 0:15:46.360 --> 0:15:49.760 and I'm like why what, Like I've just got engage, 0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:52.200 why are you sending me these things? Not like they're 0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:53.800 like no, they're not like pictures or anything like that, 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:56.760 but it's it's like I love you, or like you 0:15:56.760 --> 0:15:58.480 can just go back through the like the search or 0:15:58.480 --> 0:16:00.840 the common history, and they say like a bunch of 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:06.920 like things, flirtations, flirtatious things. I guess you could say, um, 0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:09.800 but yeah, it is interesting. I remember once Ben, when 0:16:09.800 --> 0:16:12.560 Ben started dating Jess and that he like posted his 0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:15.040 relationship for the first time or something like that. He 0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:19.280 was like, it's really weird to go from being a famous, famous, 0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:23.240 very loose, obviously famously single person to now being in 0:16:23.280 --> 0:16:26.320 a relationship, because your internet persona kind of changes a 0:16:26.320 --> 0:16:29.040 little bit, and like obviously the people that are like 0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:32.960 interacting with the changes quite a bit too. So fortunately 0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:35.680 for both of us, Jared, I would say, I think 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:37.960 we kind of got the long end of the stick 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:40.680 in the sense where people got to see our relationship 0:16:40.720 --> 0:16:43.080 happen on TV. I know, yours is kind of like 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:44.760 off TV, but then you got engaged on TV. So 0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:48.680 I'm counting it, and I think that helps a lot, because, uh, 0:16:49.400 --> 0:16:51.440 not everyone that sees you on TV is going to 0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:53.600 follow you on Instagram. So the people that see you 0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:55.400 in a relationship onto like, there's gonna be more people 0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:57.760 that see you in a relationship on TV, and so 0:16:57.880 --> 0:16:59.920 it kind of like sets the precedent moving forward that 0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:03.200 you're in that relationship. You know I would agree, and 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:07.679 talking about the internet persona. I've been thinking about this 0:17:07.840 --> 0:17:09.800 not a lot, but I've given thought to it, and 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:12.280 I really I haven't told told Ashley that's just sitting 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:15.000 next to me. I need to like really identify myself 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:18.919 because I feel like I'm just just losing who I 0:17:19.000 --> 0:17:22.520 am individually, because I'm just this dad who put like 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:24.399 I need to post like a workout video, you know 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:26.119 what I mean and be like, no, guys, I'm still 0:17:26.760 --> 0:17:28.959 I could still lift weights and I can still do 0:17:29.040 --> 0:17:31.440 things on my own as an individual, as a man, 0:17:32.119 --> 0:17:35.800 instead of just like this dad, It's no, it's not me. 0:17:36.240 --> 0:17:38.520 And also you do do that you'd like post about 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:40.600 Tom Brady all the time. You post about your quarter 0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:45.040 pounders with cheese and cheese so good. I can go 0:17:45.080 --> 0:17:48.919 for one right now q PC. But also your life changed, 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:51.040 so it's like this is like you are a father, 0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:53.480 you are you know, a partner, you're all these things, 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:55.439 and it's of course it's different from when you were single, 0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:58.399 but you're still you. It's just the majority of what 0:17:58.440 --> 0:17:59.960 you do now with your life it's different. So it's 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:02.240 not inaccurate and it's not like you've lost yourself but 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:04.439 this is a new role that you play, you know. 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:07.639 I guess it's also I am a new person. I 0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:09.920 guess it's also owning a business and hiring all these 0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:12.880 college kids because they just they look at me and 0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:17.200 I'm I'm just like the dad. Now I'm that guy. 0:18:17.240 --> 0:18:20.080 I'm the dad, and I'm like, oh god, I'm just 0:18:20.280 --> 0:18:24.479 I'm old as hell. Dandrew, I gotta ask, So, if 0:18:24.520 --> 0:18:26.040 a guy is going to slide into your d MS, 0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:30.000 what would be your preferred like method or verbite that 0:18:30.000 --> 0:18:33.600 they use. I love like when a guy is just 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:35.600 straight up like I don't even know want to waste 0:18:35.600 --> 0:18:37.400 time in the dams, like, or you do you want 0:18:37.400 --> 0:18:38.760 to go on a date? Like that would be my 0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:40.160 first thing. It's like I just want. I like when 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:42.399 people cut to the chase because I'm not really a 0:18:42.400 --> 0:18:44.159 small talker, Like I'm not going to go back and 0:18:44.200 --> 0:18:46.760 forth if I can't really tell your attentions. So I think, like, 0:18:46.840 --> 0:18:48.880 if you're going to be in my dams, like, let's 0:18:48.880 --> 0:18:52.200 try to meet in person, Like let's not even waste 0:18:52.200 --> 0:18:54.639