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Speaker 1: Hey everyone, it's Ja Shetty and I'm thrilled to announce

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Speaker 1: my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can

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Speaker 1: experience on purpose in person. Join me in a city

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Speaker 1: near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It

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Speaker 1: could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO

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Speaker 1: or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to experience growth,

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Speaker 1: spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to

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Speaker 1: meet you. There are a limited number of VIP experiences

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Speaker 1: for a private Q and a intimate meditation and a

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Speaker 1: meet and greet with photos. Tickets are on sale now.

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Speaker 1: Head to Jsheddy, dop Me Forward Slash Tour and get yours.

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Speaker 2: Today I wasn't happy, and I was burnt, and I

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Speaker 2: just felt like a punching bag. And I also was

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Speaker 2: getting really bad performance anxiety. Right before I did my

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Speaker 2: first ever stand up set, I thought, oh no, I'm

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Speaker 2: going to start getting those feelings I would get before

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Speaker 2: for a match of just like dread and.

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Speaker 3: Shame and stand up.

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Speaker 2: I went on stage and I felt a calmness I

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Speaker 2: hadn't felt before. It's kind of like why I try

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Speaker 2: to fit into something that isn't right, so I urge

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Speaker 2: people to find their calm.

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Speaker 1: The number one health and wellness podcast Jay Shetty Jay

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Speaker 1: Shetty See One Only Shedy. Hey, everyone, welcome back to

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Speaker 1: on Purpose. I am so excited for today's guest. I

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Speaker 1: was a guest on her show probably just over a

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Speaker 1: year ago. We had the best time, and if you

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Speaker 1: haven't listened to it, I hope you will after this episode.

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Speaker 1: Today's guest is someone that is known for being hilariously funny,

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Speaker 1: extremely witty, someone who's got the ability to make you think, laugh,

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Speaker 1: and all of the same at the same time. Her

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Speaker 1: name is Hannah Berner, one of the most influential rising

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Speaker 1: comedians of this generation. She has two hit podcasts, Is

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Speaker 1: If One Wasn't Good Enough Gigle Squad and Bernafhone, which

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Speaker 1: have goneered over one hundred million combined DOWNLOADSAH video series

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Speaker 1: Hanna on the Street has earned over three hundred and

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Speaker 1: fifty million views, and Hannah was named one of Variety's

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Speaker 1: Top ten Comics to Watch in twenty twenty three. She

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Speaker 1: also just finished touring her solo stand up routine to

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Speaker 1: sold out theaters across North America and Europe, and William

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Speaker 1: Bark on a Club Gigli national tour with co host

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Speaker 1: Paige Disorbo. The duo will release their book How to Giggle,

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Speaker 1: A Guide to Taking Life Less Seriously via Simon and

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Speaker 1: Schuster on April fifteenth, twenty twenty five. So let's look

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Speaker 1: forward to and most recently, Hannah debuted her first Netflix

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Speaker 1: comedy special, We Ride at Dawn, which premiered at number

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Speaker 1: two on the platform and is streaming now. Welcome to

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Speaker 1: the show, Hannah Bernard, and.

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Speaker 3: People got everything. I've nothing left to say.

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Speaker 1: That's it. You No, thank.

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Speaker 3: You for that. I appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: It's amazing. It's so fun. Like when we met last year,

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Speaker 1: I was learning all of my team are huge fans,

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Speaker 1: like huge fans, and I was learning so much about

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Speaker 1: you through them, and they were just like, this is

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Speaker 1: it's amazing, you know, And just to see the incredible

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Speaker 1: journey you've been on over the last eighteen months is amazing.

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Speaker 3: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: And I was gonna started by asking you, like, have

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Speaker 1: you always been this confident?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I think I always was delusional, Like

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Speaker 2: I always was like bored without having like a dream,

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Speaker 2: Like at like seven years old, I wanted to be

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Speaker 2: a professional tennis player, and someone told my parents like

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Speaker 2: she's too late to start. My parents told me, like,

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Speaker 2: you can't be a professional tennis player. Someone told us that,

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Speaker 2: and apparently I cried all day, like what kind of

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Speaker 2: passionate little seven year old? Was like how dare they

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Speaker 2: tell me I can't do that? And then I just

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Speaker 2: was like that's my dream. I just always wanted to.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to be like different and great in some capacity,

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Speaker 2: which could be very ego now that I'm looking back,

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Speaker 2: but like I just wanted to challenge myself and chase something.

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Speaker 1: Had you ever played tennis before? I go?

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Speaker 3: I still haven't played tennis night now.

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Speaker 2: I was like I was at I was an athletic kid,

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Speaker 2: and I think like I was the Serena generation. Like

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Speaker 2: seeing Serena, I was like, why can't that be me?

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Speaker 2: It was always kind of like, yeah, why can't I

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Speaker 2: do that? I don't know if it was intrinsically, like

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Speaker 2: my dad definitely instilled a lot of belief in me,

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Speaker 2: and I just always was like why can't me, especially

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Speaker 2: in like spaces that I felt like I didn't belong,

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Speaker 2: whether it was like male dominated spaces or just like

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Speaker 2: like places that I didn't think easily I could get into.

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Speaker 2: I Even my dad has a story that we were

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Speaker 2: ice skating once when I was like six, and all

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Speaker 2: the girls were in the middle doing the jumps and

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Speaker 2: then everyone else is like scared holding the rink on

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Speaker 2: the outside, and I was like, I want to go

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Speaker 2: to the middle, and he was like, you've never ice

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Speaker 2: skated before, and I'm like, put me in the middle, coach.

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Speaker 2: So I just always had that attitude, and it's it's

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Speaker 2: hard to always be chasing like lofty goals, but I

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Speaker 2: think that's like the high that I like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's dope. I mean, that's such a great mindset.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you reminded me of me. I skating when

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Speaker 1: I was young. I was I was like, I'm so bad,

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Speaker 1: but I could skate then and I couldn't stop, Like

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Speaker 1: I didn't matter slow down, so I would just fall when

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Speaker 1: I had to stop. And now it's like I'm the

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Speaker 1: guy holding the side.

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Speaker 2: Guy I get older, You're like, this is an insane

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Speaker 2: hobby to have. Yeah, Like, there's so many things that

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Speaker 2: can go wrong totally.

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Speaker 1: I've seen people like break their teeth and ship them

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Speaker 1: and I've seen fingers flying things flying. I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: don't need that to happen at this age, but it

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Speaker 1: seems like you've channeled that into your career, right, like

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Speaker 1: that energy, it's not like it got lost somewhere. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: But before we get to that, I wanted to ask

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Speaker 1: you a few more things because when I was looking

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Speaker 1: into parts of your journey and what you've talked about,

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Speaker 1: what you haven't.

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Speaker 3: There's a lot of lives and like a cat, yeah.

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Speaker 1: You've lived so many lives. But I feel you've been

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Speaker 1: amazing at pivoting and you've been like what I what

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Speaker 1: I like to think of, like an expert in quitting,

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Speaker 1: Like you've been good at you can.

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Speaker 2: Say firing, you can say you don't have to sugarcoat it. No,

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Speaker 2: it's funny. I recently was like dming an astrologer as

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Speaker 2: you do, and she was like, you're really about like

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Speaker 2: rebirth and you're all about like things falling apart and

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Speaker 2: then coming up like a phoenix. And I was like,

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Speaker 2: why couldn't I have something easier.

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Speaker 3: Be my purpose?

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Speaker 2: But I've Yeah, I when I outgrow something or don't

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Speaker 2: feel right, like, I get out of it, and sometimes

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Speaker 2: people get out of it for me when I don't

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Speaker 2: have the balls to be like, this isn't my space anymore.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, I've been I had to quit. I quit tennis,

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Speaker 2: so I felt like a loser even though I spent

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Speaker 2: my whole life pursuing it and I played number one

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Speaker 2: for the University of Wisconsin full scholarship. Like externally, people

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Speaker 2: were like, she's successful. Or in my head, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I'm a loser failure because I didn't win Wimbledon. And

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Speaker 2: then I'm like, why did I do all that? And

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Speaker 2: then I got into eventually got into video production, and

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Speaker 2: I got fired from that drum and then I did

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Speaker 2: really TV and I got fired from that and now

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Speaker 2: I have enough look special, But it really where some

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Speaker 2: people might be like, oh, like you're getting fired. I

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Speaker 2: really was like I was finding myself every time. And

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Speaker 2: the more you are connected to yourself, the more and

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Speaker 2: honest you are with yourself and in tune with yourself,

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Speaker 2: the more spaces might not be right for you. I've

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Speaker 2: never been good at just like blindly following. I don't

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Speaker 2: like being fake. I can't pretend to be happy like

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Speaker 2: my body will reject situation the same with like relationships,

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Speaker 2: like I can't the second I'm like, this is not

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Speaker 2: right for me. I like blurted out, like like it

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Speaker 2: needs to come out.

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Speaker 1: How will your body tell you that? Like what's the anxiety?

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Speaker 3: And it's funny. At first I was like, oh, no,

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Speaker 3: do I have anxiety?

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Speaker 2: And I've talked to people and they're like, no, your

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Speaker 2: intuitions actually really good.

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Speaker 3: You just have to listen to it.

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Speaker 2: But when you question it, that's when you like, I've

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Speaker 2: been in places where I'm like I must self sabotaging,

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Speaker 2: but my body's just like this isn't for you.

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Speaker 1: That's so powerful. I love that you said that because

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Speaker 1: I think we don't connect those two things. We see

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Speaker 1: it as, oh, I'm having anxious feelings. I feel nervous.

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Speaker 3: Body's protecting you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, totally, but it is signaling something, it's telling you something.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because I feel like we can lie to ourselves

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Speaker 2: a lot, especially when you're like mentally strong, and in

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Speaker 2: tennis you have to really suppress your mind. You have

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Speaker 2: to be like, I'm not nervous, I'm not tired, I'm

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Speaker 2: so ready for this match, and you have to like.

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Speaker 3: Numb your your inner thoughts.

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Speaker 2: And as I got older, I realized weight I have

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Speaker 2: to start listening to my inner thoughts because they're actually right.

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Speaker 2: And with tennis, I realize looking back, all the success

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Speaker 2: I have now is because of the tennis training I had.

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Speaker 2: It really was part of who I am now. Like,

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Speaker 2: just because you lost a dream doesn't mean that's not

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Speaker 2: going to make you better at something else. It's not like, oh,

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Speaker 2: that was a waste, which I love to tell people,

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Speaker 2: but also like I love divorce, love, I love firing,

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Speaker 2: I love leaving places that aren't right for you, And

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Speaker 2: I feel like so many times you think you have

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Speaker 2: to stay. I think the coolest part about life is

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Speaker 2: tomorrow I could wake up and say I don't want

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Speaker 2: to do this anymore, and there's such a beauty in that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, why do you think we project that expectation onto

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Speaker 1: a dream? Like if you think about it, when you

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Speaker 1: think you're going to become a tennis player today, you're

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Speaker 1: a comedian. You've lived a million lives in between. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure you'll live a million more and you'll keep evolving.

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Speaker 1: But a lot of us, like you said, we just

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Speaker 1: stayed glued. So I could have been, I should have

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Speaker 1: been if only I would have been, And that way

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Speaker 1: we never shift our lens what allows you to be

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Speaker 1: so positive about going Let me trust that that isn't

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Speaker 1: for me, and I don't fit in here. If people

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Speaker 1: are listening and watching and they're thinking their first dream

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Speaker 1: hasn't come true or they failed at their first dream, yeah,

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Speaker 1: how do you start believing in a second dream.

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Speaker 2: It's so funny because everything is perspective, like even me

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Speaker 2: joking like I did that that was a waste and

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Speaker 2: I didn't when Wimbledon and you laughed like it's funny,

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Speaker 2: But then it's also like comeing up.

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Speaker 1: Sorry.

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Speaker 2: When I was I was like, the fact you didn't

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Speaker 2: win Wimbledon, you're a piece of shit, because that was

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Speaker 2: twenty years of putting your heart and soul into this dream.

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Speaker 2: But when I when I started doing comedy, my career

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Speaker 2: likes sended like I abnormally fast and it's I tell people,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, it's because I had a career before this

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Speaker 2: to prepare me. And I approach comedy the way I

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Speaker 2: approached tennis. But like healthier tennis, I was very hard

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Speaker 2: on myself and I had the work ethic, but I

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Speaker 2: didn't always practice smart.

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Speaker 3: I was very.

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Speaker 2: Like negative self talk, and with comedy I'm now like

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Speaker 2: recoaching myself in a new way. So I'm like, when

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Speaker 2: you go on stage, you're gonna be positive, you're not

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Speaker 2: a loser when you mess up. And I get to

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Speaker 2: speak to myself the way I wish I was spoken

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Speaker 2: to in my past career. And I see so many

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Speaker 2: people who are like sad because they're ending something, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, you're gonna be so good at the next thing.

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Speaker 2: And also there's a lot of shame that comes with

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Speaker 2: like when you didn't accomplish something you wanted to. But

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Speaker 2: these are all just your own games you're playing in

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Speaker 2: your head of what you should be. Because if I

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Speaker 2: look back, I actually my first love was like acting

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Speaker 2: and being goofy, like I love drama class, I love painting,

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Speaker 2: I loved creating, but I happened to be super athletic,

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Speaker 2: and that was where I was kind of pushed towards.

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Speaker 2: And looking back, I'm like, wait, I didn't think you

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Speaker 2: could make money doing what you love. I thought you

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Speaker 2: had to be like a tortured athlete who was just

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Speaker 2: like on the grind. And for anyone who's feeling kind

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Speaker 2: of not having a purpose right now, think back to

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Speaker 2: what you loved when you were a kid, and I

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Speaker 2: know it sounds crazy, but like you can still be

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Speaker 2: that kid and have that joy before society told you

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Speaker 2: all these things that you.

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Speaker 3: Should do to be successful.

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Speaker 2: And I kind of realized tennis there were too many

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Speaker 2: rules and I like don't enjoy playing by the rules,

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Speaker 2: Like I don't like staying in the box, and tennis

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Speaker 2: was all about like.

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Speaker 3: Hitting in the lines. Yeah, and stand up.

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Speaker 2: I think I love because like I go on stage

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Speaker 2: and no one can tell me what to do, and

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Speaker 2: it turns out that's where I can be my most myself.

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Speaker 1: I love that you would have been that play smashing

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Speaker 1: the racket.

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Speaker 3: Oh I've broken rackets.

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Speaker 2: I've definitely you know, had like coaches that wanted me

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Speaker 2: to change stuff about my game that I would try,

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Speaker 2: but I didn't.

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Speaker 3: Really believe it. It was a lot of like just.

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Speaker 2: Trust your coach and don't listen to yourself, and it

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Speaker 2: really it made me who I am. And I actually

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Speaker 2: couldn't watch tennis for years after. I was very like

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Speaker 2: it was like an ex boyfriend, like because it was

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Speaker 2: the longest relationship I ever had. Yeah, So but now

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Speaker 2: I like love tennis like I have it on all

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Speaker 2: the time. I played a lot this summer to get fit,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, wait, it's it's a part of

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Speaker 2: me and it makes me who I am, and me

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Speaker 2: calling myself a loser is just that's a perspective you

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Speaker 2: can take or you can be. Like, by the way,

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Speaker 2: I actually was really good at tennis back in the day.

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Speaker 3: Isn't that cool?

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Speaker 1: I can relate to you in so many ways, like

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Speaker 1: my life's so different, but as you're speaking, I feel

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Speaker 1: exactly the same way. Like I think even when we

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Speaker 1: sat on your show, I was talking about how leaving

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Speaker 1: being a monk felt like a divorce at the time, Yes,

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Speaker 1: and because I felt like I was getting married. It

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Speaker 1: was a commitment, it was something I was really excited about.

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Speaker 1: And then now it's been eleven years since I've left

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Speaker 1: the monastery and I am so happy I left. And

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Speaker 1: I couldn't agree with you more that I too, have

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Speaker 1: lived so many lives in between that and this. I

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Speaker 1: went back into the corporate world. I worked in a

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Speaker 1: massive corporation with five hundred thousand employees and all of

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Speaker 1: what that looked like. And then I worked at a

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Speaker 1: media company. I was at half Post for briefly, and

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Speaker 1: so I've lived so many lives, and I couldn't agree

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Speaker 1: with you more that I've just constantly tried to move

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Speaker 1: closer to who I really am and align with how

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Speaker 1: I want to express myself who I want to be.

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Speaker 3: And you can't just know it.

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Speaker 2: You can't, like you have to go through those trials

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Speaker 2: and tribulations. Like I tried entertainment in so many different ways,

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Speaker 2: Like I were at a company, I did reality TV,

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Speaker 2: like I did a lot of things that I did

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Speaker 2: it and I was like, doesn't really feel right, but

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Speaker 2: I do like parts of it. So then you grow

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Speaker 2: and you just take what you learned. That's why anyone

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Speaker 2: who's having a tough time in their twenties, you're supposed

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Speaker 2: to have a tough time. Like the twenties, everyone's flailing,

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Speaker 2: and you take that time. So by the time you

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Speaker 2: get to thirty, you're like, Oh, first of all, I'm tired.

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Speaker 2: I'm too tired to be like upset about things. And two,

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Speaker 2: I kind of know what I like and what I

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Speaker 2: don't like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, is it true that I've I heard somewhere very

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Speaker 1: briefly that you were hit by a car?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Is that? Like? I because I couldn't really I was trying.

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Speaker 2: To I don't like say it that much because I

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Speaker 2: don't want people to think I stopped tennis because I

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Speaker 2: got hit by a fire right. But my last year

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Speaker 2: at University of Wisconsin, I was playing number one for

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Speaker 2: the team and I kind of had this idea that

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Speaker 2: if I had a great season, I would then go pro.

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Speaker 2: And this season was it was going pretty well, and

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Speaker 2: then right before like the Big Ten tournament, I got

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Speaker 2: hit by a car going to practice and it was

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Speaker 2: like seven am University of Wisconsin. It was like zero degrees.

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Speaker 2: I had a big park on and a guy hit

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Speaker 2: me from the car and I'm lying on the ground,

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Speaker 2: and the first thing I thought about was like, tell

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Speaker 2: my coach, I'm gonna be late because I'm gonna be

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Speaker 2: in trouble cause like he's gonna be like, why is

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Speaker 2: she not here?

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Speaker 3: Like I was. So it's almost.

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Speaker 2: Cultish, like you're just so obsessed with this team and

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Speaker 2: doing your best and winning. And I recovered after a

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Speaker 2: couple of months, but I wasn't like my sharpest and

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Speaker 2: I lost.

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Speaker 3: This is very sports talk, but I.

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Speaker 2: Lost five matches in third set tiebreakers, So it basically

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Speaker 2: means like I'm like one or two points were the

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Speaker 2: difference in five matches, and if I had won those

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Speaker 2: five matches, I would have like won all these awards,

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Speaker 2: I would have probably gone pro and for whatever reason,

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Speaker 2: like these are really just these minuscule moments, I didn't

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Speaker 2: win those matches, and I remember being like I think

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Speaker 2: the universe like a person can only take so much.

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Speaker 2: But the thing is I could have kept playing tennis

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Speaker 2: and I would have been fine. But I knew there

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Speaker 2: was more happiness in life that I just wasn't living

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Speaker 2: and I wasn't happy, and I was burnt and I

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Speaker 2: just felt like a punching bag. And I also was

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Speaker 2: getting really bad performance anxiety. And what's cool about the

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Speaker 2: performance anxiety is that I thought I would have it

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Speaker 2: in comedy too, and I didn't. Like right before I

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Speaker 2: did my first ever stand up set, I thought, oh no,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to start getting those feelings I would get

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Speaker 2: before a match of just like dread and shame and

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Speaker 2: like judgment day, like whatever happens is gonna there's a

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Speaker 2: lot weighing on it. And stand up I went on

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Speaker 2: stage and I felt a calmness I hadn't felt before,

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Speaker 2: so I urged people to find their calm. It's kind

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Speaker 2: of like why try to fit into something that isn't right?

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Speaker 2: And I do think I was playing for other people

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Speaker 2: besides myself. I wanted my parents to be proud of me.

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Speaker 2: I wanted my peers to think I was cool, and

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Speaker 2: that's all you know when you're younger.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I like that idea of moving towards your calm.

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Speaker 1: I mean it's the same in relationships, yes, like I had,

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Speaker 1: You're so right one of my friends, she's gonna hate

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Speaker 1: me for putting it out. One of my friends messaged

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Speaker 1: me the other day and she was just like, just

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Speaker 1: went out of this guy. He was perfect, we had

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Speaker 1: the same values. He'd be an amazing dad. But I

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Speaker 1: just didn't feel it. And I was like, dude, did

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Speaker 1: you feel peace? Did you feel calm? And she was

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Speaker 1: like I felt so peaceful, felt so calm. I was like,

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Speaker 1: you should at least give it a second date or

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Speaker 1: a fair day, like you don't just write it off.

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Speaker 1: And it was so interesting to me how we're so

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Speaker 1: averse to things feeling aligned, Like we have this kind

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Speaker 1: of allergic reaction when something feels aligned, and something actually

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Speaker 1: feels you.

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Speaker 3: Almost feel guilty.

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Speaker 2: When something comes easy, You're like that's not how it's

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Speaker 2: supposed to be. The dating stuff is so funny because

378
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Speaker 2: I have a friend who like loves dating like drummers

379
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Speaker 2: who were in jail, Like that's her thing, and she's

380
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,800
Speaker 2: gorgeous and like such a catch, but she loves these

381
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Speaker 2: like projects to take on and she recently met this

382
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Speaker 2: guy and she was like, I love him, but like

383
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Speaker 2: I feel like he needs like a neck tattoo or something.

384
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Speaker 2: And I was like, let's just take a breather keep

385
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Speaker 2: seeing him, because Yeah, there was this addiction to tennis

386
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Speaker 2: that almost wasn't that healthy, Like I was addicted to

387
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Speaker 2: the drama and the the just like the anxiety it

388
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Speaker 2: was provoking in the highs, and I was actually still

389
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Speaker 2: able to find those highs in comedy that was just

390
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Speaker 2: like less torturous to me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I really like that comparison between the two because

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Speaker 1: obviously you were brilliant at both. And it's hard to decipher,

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Speaker 1: Like I meet a lot of people who are like, Jay,

394
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Speaker 1: I could do this, or I could do this, which

395
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Speaker 1: one should I do? Yeah, it's like a very common

396
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Speaker 1: question that I get, Like I'm passionate about this, and

397
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Speaker 1: I'm passionate about this, and what I hear what you're

398
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Speaker 1: saying to kind of deciphering divide the two is well,

399
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Speaker 1: maybe you're addicted to this, and maybe you have a

400
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,000
Speaker 1: lot of affection for this over here, and go with

401
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Speaker 1: the thing that feels less overtly stressful, less dramatic, less

402
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Speaker 1: like the high's really high and the loads really low.

403
00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,919
Speaker 2: Yes, right, Yes, I mean I'm kind of obsessed with.

404
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,879
Speaker 2: And by obsessed with, I mean I heard about it

405
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Speaker 2: once and I like it stoicism because.

406
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Speaker 3: That was not my life.

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Speaker 2: It's like, especially as an athlete, as a tennis player,

408
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Speaker 2: you're like.

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Speaker 3: Losing all the time, or you're like I'm the greatest

410
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Speaker 3: that ever did this, or you're like, oh so going

411
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Speaker 3: to quit.

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Speaker 2: And I think what I realized with tennis, and it

413
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Speaker 2: was hard to admit, but I actually did not like

414
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Speaker 2: the competition. But I thought that was just a problem

415
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Speaker 2: that I had to overcome. I was like, you're you're

416
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Speaker 2: just not doing it right. But all the girls around

417
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Speaker 2: me would be like, I actually hate practice, but like

418
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Speaker 2: I love the competition, and the competition is literally what

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Speaker 2: it means to be a professional athlete. When it came

420
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Speaker 2: to comedy, some people will be like, I hate going

421
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Speaker 2: on stage. I live for the stage, Like I'm more

422
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Speaker 2: uncomfortable at like a group dinner.

423
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Speaker 3: But if you give me because I'm like, when do

424
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Speaker 3: I talk, do it? Do less?

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Speaker 1: Door?

426
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Speaker 3: I do more?

427
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Speaker 2: But when I have a mic on stage, I know

428
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Speaker 2: exactly what to do. And it's corny to say, but like,

429
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Speaker 2: go towards your purpose and go to and the calmness

430
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Speaker 2: is where it's like, oh, this is where you're supposed

431
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Speaker 2: to be. It's almost like with friend groups, like you

432
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Speaker 2: know when you're with people and you just feel like

433
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Speaker 2: I'm saying everything wrong. I'm awkward. Oh my god, I

434
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Speaker 2: hate myself. I'm so embarrassed. You could say those same

435
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Speaker 2: things with the right people and you would feel like comfortable.

436
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,960
Speaker 2: So I feel like that with careers. So going back

437
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,199
Speaker 2: to your question of which one should I do? I

438
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,600
Speaker 2: literally did not like competing, but I liked I was

439
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 2: so comfortable with the idea of being a tennis player

440
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 2: and overcoming this performed anxiety and getting to the next level.

441
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,159
Speaker 2: And it's like, if you're going to do something for

442
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:01,720
Speaker 2: a long time and be good at it and want

443
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,359
Speaker 2: to be successful, you have.

444
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:07,000
Speaker 3: To like it. And I know that sounds so simple.

445
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:07,879
Speaker 1: People come up to me.

446
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,440
Speaker 3: They're like, I want to start a podcast. What should

447
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:09,639
Speaker 3: I do?

448
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,639
Speaker 2: And I'm like, do something that you would do for

449
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:16,280
Speaker 2: free and talk about for years. Yeah, you can't just

450
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 2: do it because you're like, oh, I want to see

451
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 2: my face on a chart. There. You won't make it.

452
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,159
Speaker 2: There's no longevity in that. They are also my people.

453
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 2: I was going through a hard time with reality TV actually,

454
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 2: and I started doing stand up and I would tell

455
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,120
Speaker 2: people what I'm going through, and the stand ups were

456
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,200
Speaker 2: just like making fun of me and seeing it through

457
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:37,320
Speaker 2: their lens. I suddenly felt safe, I felt calm, and

458
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:39,199
Speaker 2: I started to relate to them. I'm like, wait, I

459
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:43,320
Speaker 2: think like these people. Finding community is a huge part

460
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 2: of my happiness. Where tennis is very lonely, yeah, everyone

461
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 2: was my competition, and comedy is lonely too, but I

462
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,720
Speaker 2: was able to find a community within it.

463
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:54,200
Speaker 3: It's interesting.

464
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 2: I'm like figuring this out right now as I'm speaking,

465
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 2: because people will say, like, it's not about money, it's

466
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 2: not about fame, it's about community. But I'm a pretty

467
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:06,960
Speaker 2: like I don't love partying, socialize, but comedy I almost

468
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:11,160
Speaker 2: accidentally found people who accepted me, which I think has

469
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 2: overall helped my day to day like happiness.

470
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,040
Speaker 1: You've reminded me of this great book that I read

471
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 1: a long time ago called Flow State. It's all about flow,

472
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:24,040
Speaker 1: and it talks about this idea that comedians, speakers, musicians,

473
00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:27,680
Speaker 1: athletes experience flow state. Flow state is defined as when

474
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 1: your skills meet the challenge. So when your skills in

475
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 1: challenge are perfectly aligned, you experience flow. But well, most

476
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 1: of us experience are the opposite. So we experience our

477
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,760
Speaker 1: skills being above our challenge, so we feel bored and

478
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 1: frustrated and kind of lethargic. Or you experience where your

479
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 1: challenge is way above your skills, and then you feel

480
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 1: depressed and you feel annoyed, and you feel control out

481
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 1: of control. And so we've got to constantly find a

482
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,280
Speaker 1: space or find the thing where your challenges and your

483
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:58,480
Speaker 1: skills meet. And I've always liked that idea. And how

484
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 1: does competition look like as a comedian?

485
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,200
Speaker 3: To me, it was like arts and crafts.

486
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,760
Speaker 2: I was like, we're all just painting, and like, I

487
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 2: like your painting, you like mine.

488
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:06,879
Speaker 3: And I think.

489
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 2: Some some comics get really into the comparison game because

490
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,120
Speaker 2: it's easy to be like, why did they get picked

491
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:14,400
Speaker 2: for that or they get picked for that.

492
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 3: And I think I don't have an ego with.

493
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,120
Speaker 2: Comedy, because I'll Beyonnest. I have an ego with tennis.

494
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:24,520
Speaker 2: Tennis was my everything, So comedy to me was something

495
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 2: I no one even anticipated me to be in. So

496
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 2: I have a lot of gratitude and it's almost like

497
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 2: because of my failure with tennis, I'm able to have

498
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:37,679
Speaker 2: such a nice outlook in the comedy space. Every now

499
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 2: and then, you know, I do have that like tennis

500
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,720
Speaker 2: voice that comes in. I remember before I shot my

501
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:47,879
Speaker 2: Netflix special, it started to hit me the result voice

502
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 2: that I have that with tennis, which was like, oh,

503
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,520
Speaker 2: your whole career is writing on this and comedy. I

504
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:56,880
Speaker 2: consider myself in a flow state because I'm not trying

505
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:58,120
Speaker 2: to be perfect on stage.

506
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,640
Speaker 3: It's about my energy, it's vibes.

507
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 2: I always say, people don't remember the joke you said,

508
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 2: they remember how you made them feel.

509
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:05,240
Speaker 1: Yes.

510
00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 3: But then for the Netflix.

511
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 2: Special, I felt like, oh my god, this is like

512
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 2: a final, like I have to get every word right,

513
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:15,399
Speaker 2: and the perfectionist like tennis players start coming back. I

514
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:19,160
Speaker 2: like called my therapist. I was like getting a beta blocker,

515
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 2: like I was I started to get this crazy anxiety,

516
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 2: and I feel like it was almost like, if you

517
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:26,399
Speaker 2: want to get to the next level, you have to

518
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,080
Speaker 2: face those demons that you thought you could just like

519
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 2: leave by going to another career. I'm still the same

520
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:37,439
Speaker 2: person who was having trouble with tennis, so I was

521
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:40,359
Speaker 2: able to kind of battle some demons. I remember a

522
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 2: quote that I loved that was like, what if you

523
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 2: let your dreams come true? And I remember being like,

524
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:49,119
Speaker 2: I think you're not the same girl. Actually, you've grown,

525
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 2: you've matured, You're safer mentally, and right before I went on,

526
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,879
Speaker 2: I was very nervous. Right before I went on, I

527
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:59,679
Speaker 2: was like, you're in control and your skills are ready

528
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 2: for them. And I felt the same with Fallon, where

529
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,719
Speaker 2: I was like, you could go up and fumble all

530
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 2: your words and blank out, because that was what I

531
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,399
Speaker 2: would do on the court. I would anything I was

532
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 2: scared of. I would do like, oh no, I hope

533
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 2: it don't double fault. I double fault. Like it was

534
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 2: so frustrating, and comedy has been a way for me

535
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,679
Speaker 2: to like just like a new avenue for me to

536
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 2: express myself in a much more like safer, positive place.

537
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I have the.

538
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 2: Same like drive and work ethic I think I had

539
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 2: with Tennis.

540
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:29,679
Speaker 1: I really love the way you've analyzed both. And I

541
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 1: think anyone who's listening right now would gain so much

542
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 1: from it, because I think so many people are doing

543
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,919
Speaker 1: this mental exercise in their head, like the pros and

544
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 1: cons of like if I stay in this job, what's

545
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 1: it going to feel like? If I quit my job,

546
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 1: what's it going to feel like? Well, if I if

547
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 1: I start a podcast, as the example you gave, or

548
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,199
Speaker 1: if I do this, what's it going to feel like?

549
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 1: And the truth is, this is what you've got to

550
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 1: move towards.

551
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 2: And I also think we're told a lot like keep

552
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:55,120
Speaker 2: chasing your dreams, pushed through.

553
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 3: Don't quit.

554
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,199
Speaker 2: So I'm not telling everyone to quit, but I actually

555
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:03,440
Speaker 2: think that you know when you're supposed to get out

556
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 2: of something, and I think I knew it with Tennis.

557
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 2: When the Winds, I was feeling nothing. It was like

558
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 2: a drug where if I lost, I'd feel horrible, and

559
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 2: then the winds I wasn't even getting the highs anymore.

560
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 2: So in my head it's like, why am I doing

561
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 2: this if I'm not even getting a high anymore? And

562
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 2: I think That's when I knew, like, we're not even

563
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 2: chasing anything anymore. We're just at We're just trying to

564
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 2: stay afloat. And that's when you know, like, oh the

565
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,639
Speaker 2: love is gone. And I also tell people like when

566
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 2: they're confused about jobs, relationships, I'm like, and if you

567
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 2: made the wrong decision, go back. Then no one's like,

568
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:41,159
Speaker 2: there's no police that are policing your decisions of being like, oops,

569
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 2: I messed up. And sometimes when you give people the

570
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 2: freedom to be like you can go back, they leave.

571
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,439
Speaker 1: Yeah. What's really great is that it sounds like you

572
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 1: evaluate things as how you feel about them. And so

573
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 1: I wonder what's your relationship like with wanting to be liked.

574
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 2: I'm a people pleaser. I'm nothing to be a comedian

575
00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 2: like you want ever? Would have like the best time ever?

576
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 2: And that brings me joy. I think I have to

577
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:08,040
Speaker 2: think reality TV because my reality TV my biggest fear

578
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 2: was to be perceived not who I was. But when

579
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,679
Speaker 2: you're twenty six, you don't know who you are, Like

580
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 2: I remember, I'd go into social situations and I put

581
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,399
Speaker 2: a lot of pressure on myself to be like I want.

582
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 3: Everyone to think I'm really funny.

583
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 2: And I'm really nice and I'm and I care about

584
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 2: them and I'm smart, and it's like putting so much

585
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 2: pressure on myself every time it interacts. I wanted to

586
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:32,200
Speaker 2: be control of everything. I was like a type A

587
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 2: student and achiever, and reality TV you give up control.

588
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 2: My first two seasons were good. My third season I

589
00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 2: experienced what people like tell you could happen, which is

590
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 2: like you lose the narrative and they're not showing your

591
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:50,200
Speaker 2: perspective anymore. They're showing it through like other lenses. And

592
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 2: it was my biggest fear to be misunderstood, like there's

593
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 2: one thing for tennis or comedy for people to be

594
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:56,880
Speaker 2: like I don't like how she play it, I don't

595
00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:59,479
Speaker 2: like her jokes, but to be perceived based on like

596
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:03,439
Speaker 2: things that didn't actually happen was very painful for me,

597
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 2: and I think I realized I also didn't have the

598
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 2: heart for it, like I was too sensitive to be

599
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,640
Speaker 2: in a show that was about kind of.

600
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 3: Like who's good, who's bad? Who were rooting for?

601
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 2: Like WWE type stuff, where I was like, it really

602
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 2: is like sports for women of being like, let's who

603
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 2: we're gonna root for this season? Who actually sucks that

604
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 2: we didn't know and that energy was I was not

605
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 2: good with it and I got fired, and at the

606
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,360
Speaker 2: time I was like I got a talk show from it,

607
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,439
Speaker 2: and I was like, you just ub your chance. And

608
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 2: also I was confused because I was like I was

609
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 2: engaging with everything, I was responding to everything. I did

610
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 2: everything everyone wanted me to do. So the math wasn't

611
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 2: mathing my like Tennis mind of like, I worked hard,

612
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 2: I'm doing well, and I got fired. If I didn't

613
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 2: get fired, I wouldn't have a Netflix special, and I

614
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,160
Speaker 2: also would probably not be in a healthy marriage. And

615
00:28:55,240 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 2: I also would probably not feel like myself. So but

616
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 2: also when I got fired, I laugh, but ooh, I

617
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 2: got a fire in me. And I think it goes

618
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 2: back to that rebirth thing. I realized the one thing

619
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 2: I can control that I'm so proud of myself is

620
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 2: that I can handle adversity. The stuff I went through

621
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 2: with Tennis. It was I went through some bad stuff

622
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 2: like yips, like someone Biles type stuff, not to that level, obviously,

623
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 2: but I will bounce back and I don't care what

624
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 2: people try to do to me or what happens to me.

625
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 2: The cream will rise like I'm kind of annoying, where

626
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 2: like I'm all about justice and I want everything to

627
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 2: be in the right place and for everyone be treated right.

628
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 2: It's not life, but you're not a victim. You have

629
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 2: to again have the perspective of like just because I failed,

630
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 2: just because I got fired, that.

631
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 3: Doesn't have to define you.

632
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 2: So I kind of got this silly idea where I

633
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,720
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, I got fired from really TV show

634
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,120
Speaker 2: and didn't feel like my I was shown to be

635
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 2: who I was authentically.

636
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 3: What if I became like the biggest comedian I could.

637
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 2: Be, which again not a normal thought so much I have,

638
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:11,239
Speaker 2: but that's I always think big, Like that's how I've

639
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,719
Speaker 2: always thought. I really like put the head down and

640
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 2: was so motivated by the firing, like I wouldn't be

641
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 2: here if I wasn't fired, and it wasn't like these people.

642
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 2: It was like I hear you, I see you. Let's

643
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 2: find a new outlet. Even I remember after tennis when

644
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 2: I just discovered comedy, I felt like a horse that

645
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 2: was like walking around lost and then finally they put

646
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 2: me in my lane and I was like, I found

647
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 2: my lane. So I just wanted to find my lane,

648
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 2: and then I could go and finding your lane is

649
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 2: very fun because you're just like self exploratory.

650
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 1: I couldn't be more excited to share something truly special

651
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 1: with all you TA lovers out there. And even if

652
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 1: you don't love tea, if you love refreshing, rejuvenating, refueling sodas,

653
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,280
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654
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669
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671
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 1: and make sure you use the code on purpose. How

672
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 1: does Bravo tell you that you're fired over Zoom? Really?

673
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 3: Well, it's during COVID.

674
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 2: I think it was kind of like you're not coming back.

675
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 2: And I think it's hard because with a lot of people,

676
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 2: your whole thing is about your story, which is like

677
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 2: the ebbs and flows of evolving, and Bravo's very like,

678
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 2: well break you down, we'll build you back up. So

679
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 2: they kind of were like, and this is the end

680
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 2: for you. So then it was like really in my

681
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 2: court to be now punintended, but to be like where

682
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 2: do I take this from here? And I learned a

683
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 2: lot about like production, reality and unscripted stuff that definitely

684
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 2: helped me like do fun stuff and will help me

685
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 2: do fun stuff later in my career. Wow.

686
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, and how many people on this zoon? I think

687
00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 1: it was me and two people Okay, yeah, it's quite intnight.

688
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah it was. And it's also you're getting

689
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 2: fired for like being you.

690
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 3: It was pretty hurtful.

691
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 1: Did you cry?

692
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah for sure.

693
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,560
Speaker 2: And also you felt like you lost all the friends

694
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 2: who the show was about. It basically was like, no

695
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,520
Speaker 2: one wants to be friends with you anymore. Looking back,

696
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 2: it was such a blessing and people kept telling that

697
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 2: to me. They were like, you're so lucky. This is

698
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 2: for a reason, and don't you hate that when you're

699
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 2: going to Yes, this is for a reason. And I'm like,

700
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 2: I need to make money, like I lost both my jobs,

701
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 2: Like I was on a talk show too, and I

702
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 2: was just like I have nothing and I have a

703
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 2: guy who I'm engaged to who in my head it

704
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 2: was like why would you want to be with me

705
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 2: when I'm a failure? Because whenever I used to win

706
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 2: and do well, people loved me more. So this was

707
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 2: a really like pivotal moment of like I had to

708
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,479
Speaker 2: love myself and believe in myself because like no one

709
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:51,240
Speaker 2: was going to fix it.

710
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 1: What's the difference between self confidence and self worth? And

711
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 1: how did you work on the latter.

712
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 2: I think I realized that my power is how I

713
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 2: deal with adversity. It's not avoiding adversity, And I think

714
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 2: for people who deal with that in relationships, I realize,

715
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 2: like when you marry someone, you're dating someone, you're dealing

716
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,160
Speaker 2: with their life, which is full of ups and downs.

717
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 2: So when someone's with you, it's not about being perfect

718
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 2: and easy going and cool girl, like that's what I

719
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 2: wanted to be, but like, realistically, I just got fired,

720
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,399
Speaker 2: And you're finding someone who's going to be with you

721
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 2: through the highs and lows, and no one's life is

722
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 2: perfect and no one's relationship is going to be perfect.

723
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 2: Who's going to be in the trenches with you? And like,

724
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:36,160
Speaker 2: I found my person to be in the trenches with me.

725
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:40,919
Speaker 1: How did you stop yourself from letting any bitterness or

726
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 1: revenge mindset creep in.

727
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:45,319
Speaker 2: I do want to say, I fully do have a

728
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 2: revenge mindset, but my revenge is never to hurt people.

729
00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 2: They're already hurt. They're hurting you, obviously they're hurt if

730
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 2: they tried to hurt you. It's like the classic quote,

731
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,839
Speaker 2: but like you being mad at them is just like

732
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 2: you adding venom to yourself, and they clearly don't give

733
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 2: a fuck.

734
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,880
Speaker 3: About you because they hurt you.

735
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 2: I realized that people's hate towards me was because they

736
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,239
Speaker 2: saw something in me, and I almost took it as

737
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 2: a compliment. Honestly, getting fired is there's some star power too,

738
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 2: Like there's a and I'm not telling everyone, you know,

739
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 2: get fired because you'll find your purpose. But it's like

740
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 2: I listened. I wasn't like trying to undo the past.

741
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:28,319
Speaker 2: I was like, I can't change what happened. I can

742
00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 2: only change going forward. And I think great athletes are

743
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 2: like that, Like you make a mistake and instead of

744
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,959
Speaker 2: harping on the mistake, that's not going.

745
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:39,000
Speaker 3: To help you in this next point. Yeah, and I

746
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:39,359
Speaker 3: dealt with.

747
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:43,200
Speaker 2: A lot of depression, a lot of you know, questioning

748
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 2: why why Why me. I wasn't just like completely you know,

749
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:51,279
Speaker 2: strong out of it. But I do think I have

750
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 2: a lot of gratitude now. I even like I went

751
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 2: to some like hotel recently and someone was complaining about

752
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 2: like how the hotel sucked or whatever or something happened,

753
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:01,439
Speaker 2: and I was like, I remember when no one would

754
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 2: have even booked me to be able to stay at

755
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:07,200
Speaker 2: this hotel to perform absolutely so the lows actually have

756
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,360
Speaker 2: given me the mindset for success.

757
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 1: But also the right seeds planted in those lows, because

758
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:15,840
Speaker 1: in one sense, that's what I was getting at that

759
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,879
Speaker 1: if you had planted it out of this bitterness, I'm

760
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 1: going to show you. You know, you realize how great

761
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 1: I am when you do it from perspective, which which

762
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 1: is natural. By the way, I'm not even judging anyone

763
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 1: who has that intention. It's just that if that's the

764
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,239
Speaker 1: seed you plant, then even if you make it to

765
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 1: that hotel, or make it to that podium, or make

766
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 1: it to a Netflix special, you will never go sleep happy.

767
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 1: Like it's just not possible.

768
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 2: That's yeah, That's why I remember, like they never liked you,

769
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 2: They're not going to like you totally. Like everyone's dealing

770
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 2: with their shit. But I do have to say I

771
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 2: don't forgive people. I'm not going to be friends like

772
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,560
Speaker 2: I learned from situations. But I also feel like my

773
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 2: particular situation, like I was on a show about friends

774
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 2: getting drunk and starting fights with each other and I

775
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 2: wasn't fitting in and people kind of turned on me,

776
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 2: and I was like, that's actually a compliment that, like

777
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:06,200
Speaker 2: you weren't thriving in that environment. The friends that I've

778
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 2: been able to make recently, like I found the most smart, powerful,

779
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 2: inspiring people like Ali Riiseman. Has she been on this spot?

780
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 2: You have to have her on. She's an incredible gymnast

781
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,359
Speaker 2: who was like the captain of the Olympic team was like, hey,

782
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 2: I love your special I'd love to get coffee. And

783
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 2: I was sitting there talking to this girl, feeling so

784
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,920
Speaker 2: like lucky that I can even like understand how her

785
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:32,600
Speaker 2: brain works and be connecting with her. Again, you go

786
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 2: back and you're like, thank god I got kicked out

787
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:35,800
Speaker 2: of where I didn't belong.

788
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 1: Yeah. You reminded me of a commence speech that Federick

789
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:43,279
Speaker 1: just gave and he was talking about I love. He

790
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:46,040
Speaker 1: was talking about how he's only won eighty percent of

791
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 1: games in his career, and he's only won just over

792
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 1: fifty percent of points yes in those games. Yes, And

793
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:54,839
Speaker 1: so he was like, I have to get so used

794
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:55,800
Speaker 1: to losing a point.

795
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,440
Speaker 2: I always say, as a tennis player, to win six

796
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:01,760
Speaker 2: four six four, you lose forty percent of the point exactly.

797
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 2: And it's and I do think that tennis mentality helped me,

798
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,280
Speaker 2: Like when something bad would happen, I'd be like, yeah,

799
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 2: that's part of the ride. Yeah, And I also do

800
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:15,000
Speaker 2: love storytelling. That's why, like this pod is so fun

801
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:17,239
Speaker 2: for me. I love when bad things happen because I

802
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 2: am that person that's like I can't wait to go

803
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 2: on a podcast one day and be like I was

804
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 2: fired and sad and then I rose from the ashes.

805
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:28,239
Speaker 2: And I do think people connect with me because they

806
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 2: see like, Okay, if she can do it, I can

807
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,360
Speaker 2: do it. And that's what I want people to feel,

808
00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 2: because it's it really is just your mentality. When you

809
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:37,440
Speaker 2: get up in the morning, you're just like, I'm not

810
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:41,319
Speaker 2: gonna let that past pain define me.

811
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 1: When you're putting it into comedy, where's all the content

812
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 1: coming from the storytelling?

813
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:50,799
Speaker 2: Well, the funny thing about comedy is I definitely never

814
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:52,919
Speaker 2: wanted to be a stand up comedian, and I think

815
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,200
Speaker 2: it was a blessing in a way that like I

816
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 2: very have my own distinct voice and way I am

817
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:01,440
Speaker 2: on stage, Like I wasn't ever trying to copy anyone else.

818
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 3: I didn't even think I was.

819
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 2: Gonna get a Netflix special, so when I did, I

820
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:07,920
Speaker 2: was kind of just like cool.

821
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 3: And then I've been joking. I was like, what do

822
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 3: you do next?

823
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:13,319
Speaker 2: Do another Netflix special, like how many Netflix specials does

824
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:17,240
Speaker 2: a person need? But it's been an interesting moment creatively

825
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,840
Speaker 2: because with a stand up, after you do your hour,

826
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 2: the materials burned. They call it so unlike a singer

827
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 2: who can like theyt you write a great hit and

828
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 2: you can do it forever, like my hit is like

829
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 2: my great hit. I love my gun joke or my

830
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 2: quief joke. I can't do that anymore. So now I'm

831
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 2: doing these new material shows where it's basically like watching

832
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:39,880
Speaker 2: your favorite athletes start as a beginner. So I'm literally

833
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,360
Speaker 2: on stage being like, cankles are cankles?

834
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 3: Funny?

835
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 2: Do we like cankles? And I've had some insecurities being

836
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 2: like this is difficult. I went from a tried and

837
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:52,880
Speaker 2: tested like hour that I know every single moment what

838
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 2: will happen and the laughs I'll get to being just

839
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 2: like feeling naked on stage. And my husband's been inspiring

840
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 2: because he's like, you don't even know, like the special

841
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 2: is gonna be better than the last one. So I think

842
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 2: with comedy, I like that it keeps me on my toes,

843
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:10,520
Speaker 2: it keeps me I don't feel completely like I got

844
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:12,400
Speaker 2: this all the time, and I think it keeps me

845
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:16,240
Speaker 2: motivated because I feel so I'm constantly learning about myself

846
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:19,400
Speaker 2: and challenging myself. Last week, I even I went on

847
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 2: stage just with a bunch of papers, which I've never

848
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:23,840
Speaker 2: done before, and just was like, let's see what happens.

849
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,239
Speaker 2: So look, maybe I'm sick in the head as we're

850
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:28,319
Speaker 2: talking it out and I'm saying it out loud, but

851
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 2: I like to put myself in uncomfortable positions and see

852
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 2: how I can get out of it. I think that's

853
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 2: what crowd work is, which is something that I've taken

854
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 2: accustomed to.

855
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 1: I actually think it's the only mindset, like if you

856
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:46,799
Speaker 1: know what you're going to do every month, you'll end

857
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 1: up living the same year again and again and again.

858
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 2: And part of me is jealous of those people. I

859
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 2: do to say there are maybe some like neurotypical people

860
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 2: that are like I want to just like like I

861
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 2: want to go to work, i want to enjoy my friends,

862
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,279
Speaker 2: I want to go home, and I'm so thankful for

863
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 2: this life. And I'm envious to those people like I

864
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 2: wish that are you actually well?

865
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 3: I think that they actually are fulfilled. And then there's

866
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:11,080
Speaker 3: people like.

867
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:15,360
Speaker 2: Me who need some crazy shit to like feel alive

868
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 2: all the time. And I definitely am neurodivergent, like I'm

869
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,719
Speaker 2: realizing now, Like I do think I have ADHD in

870
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 2: like a powerful way. Like when I'm doing a joke,

871
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 2: I could like know what crowd work I'm gonna do next,

872
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 2: and I'm also gonna do a callback to this joke,

873
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 2: Like I have a bazillion tabs open in my head

874
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 2: and I need constant dopamine hits. But it's it's made

875
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:38,799
Speaker 2: me a creative and a performer. So I think like

876
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,440
Speaker 2: both ways of life, Like you know, you see a

877
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 2: kid and you're like, this kid is happy, chilling, and

878
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 2: you see a kid that's just running around being chaotic,

879
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 2: and you're like they're just different vibes.

880
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 1: Totally, totally yeah, And I feel like everyone's needing to

881
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,759
Speaker 1: balance out by doing the other. Yes, someone who lives

882
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,800
Speaker 1: crazy a crazy life, like you can find more joy

883
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,360
Speaker 1: from relationships and the simple things in some way, who's

884
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,800
Speaker 1: living a more as you called it, a neurotypical life

885
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:06,760
Speaker 1: also needs to find new goals and things to grow towards,

886
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 1: because both end up feeling out of balance and out

887
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 1: of scene.

888
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:11,239
Speaker 3: Are you good at vacationing?

889
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:13,759
Speaker 1: I really enjoy it. I wouldn't say I'm good at

890
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:16,960
Speaker 1: it in the sense of I don't like I could

891
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 1: go years and probably did in the beginning, and then

892
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,000
Speaker 1: I got a bit better at it and then probably

893
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,319
Speaker 1: got bad again. Yeah, I'm okay at it.

894
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:26,080
Speaker 2: I'd say i've recently, like this summer after the special,

895
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 2: I was like, take some time, yeah, and like you

896
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:29,880
Speaker 2: wake up and you're.

897
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:31,879
Speaker 1: Like, what are we doing? Oh, I'm good at that?

898
00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:35,359
Speaker 1: Oh I'm good at that. Once I'm there, I'm goody good.

899
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:38,400
Speaker 2: I have I find with vacationing or like giving yourself breaks,

900
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:41,879
Speaker 2: especially as the entrepreneur, because it's always like when you're

901
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 2: not working, you're just not like making money or whatever.

902
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 2: You'll be like, okay, let's relax, and it takes you

903
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 2: like four days to relax. Then you're finally relaxed and

904
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:51,280
Speaker 2: it's like we got to go back home and you're like, oh.

905
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 1: No, yeah, I'm really lucky. I can like lock into

906
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 1: any mode that I'm in.

907
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 3: That's good immediately more than me correct.

908
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 1: But finding the time to get a way, that's what

909
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 1: I was thinking.

910
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 3: I was like, you have to prioritize.

911
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 1: That I'm not I'm okay at that, like sometimes I'm

912
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 1: good at planning it out, sometimes I'm not. I'm good

913
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 1: at starting my year off right, Like I always make

914
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:12,759
Speaker 1: sure that I start my year off in India back

915
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 1: at the monastery taking time out, and I've done that

916
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:18,080
Speaker 1: every year religiously for the past seven years or whatever

917
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:20,239
Speaker 1: it is, maybe even more now, And that to me

918
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 1: is like I'm good at doing that.

919
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 2: I heard the Dua Lipa always takes your line in

920
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 2: August off. I actually also could have started a rumor there,

921
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 2: but I heard that and I was like, do Leapa

922
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:32,840
Speaker 2: is always like crushing it, And part of me like

923
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 2: loved that, and that means it's like European or something.

924
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 2: But I'm realizing in this life that like no one's

925
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 2: gonna make you take a break, and you actually have

926
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 2: to have the self love, even if you think you

927
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 2: don't need it to be like you do need to

928
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,800
Speaker 2: have balance. And I'm a workaholic and I love the

929
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 2: highs of it, but I've also been working on like

930
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 2: also when you're relaxing, like don't be mean to yourself.

931
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:57,880
Speaker 2: Don't spend the whole day relaxing being like you should

932
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:01,400
Speaker 2: have gone to pilates. So it's you, Yeah, creating the

933
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,600
Speaker 2: right narrative in your head of like that you're in

934
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:06,960
Speaker 2: the right space at the right time is kind of

935
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:07,839
Speaker 2: what I've been working on.

936
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:14,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, now that you've started a crazy room about doing it. Now,

937
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 1: I was gonna ask you, what's the craziest rumor you've

938
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 1: ever heard about yourself?

939
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, the biggest rumors were like stuff that

940
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,319
Speaker 2: would happen on reality TV, because like there would be

941
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 2: scenes where the back of my head would say something

942
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 2: to someone and I.

943
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:29,000
Speaker 3: Was like, that was not what the response was.

944
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:32,359
Speaker 2: So it was like living with like moments that just

945
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 2: didn't happen that you had to kind of just like own.

946
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 3: I didn't really own it. I would be like, no,

947
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 3: it didn't happen. Everyone like shut up.

948
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:45,880
Speaker 2: But I think my support system has been really great,

949
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:48,239
Speaker 2: and I I only took it for granted or I

950
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 2: just I have very small support systems, So I never

951
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:54,359
Speaker 2: thought that I was like special in any way, But

952
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:58,040
Speaker 2: now I'm realizing, like it really is quality over quantity.

953
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:00,839
Speaker 2: Like I always have that one best friend, my mom

954
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:04,400
Speaker 2: and my dad, my brother and my husband, maybe a

955
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:07,759
Speaker 2: couple other friends depending on the time. And I thought, like,

956
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 2: you're kind of a lonely bitch. But then these people

957
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:13,400
Speaker 2: are so special that I can call it any time,

958
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 2: and they get me so well that I'm realizing more like, oh,

959
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:20,640
Speaker 2: they got me through that, like I could not have

960
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 2: done it alone. Yeah, my poor mom, the calls she

961
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 2: has to takes.

962
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:28,880
Speaker 1: That's so wonderful to hear though. Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it?

963
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:31,960
Speaker 1: Because I think as things grow, also you realize the

964
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 1: different values of your community as well. As you get older,

965
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:37,239
Speaker 1: you realize the value that they play in different You

966
00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:39,600
Speaker 1: go through more, you go through more, and so you

967
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 1: rely on them for more things. Like when you're a kid,

968
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 1: maybe they helped you move to college or maybe they

969
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:46,359
Speaker 1: you know, it's things like that, Whereas when you grow up,

970
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:49,279
Speaker 1: you're like, no, I just called you and cried for me.

971
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:51,439
Speaker 1: It was like my mom saying something. I was going

972
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,000
Speaker 1: through a tough time. And I don't really call my

973
00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:55,359
Speaker 1: mom for advice. I never have. Yeah, she's always been

974
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 1: loving in supporting.

975
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 2: The very guy of you. Like my brother call my

976
00:45:58,200 --> 00:45:59,840
Speaker 2: mom like once a month and I called it.

977
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:00,839
Speaker 1: I'm that color.

978
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm eating chicken nugget.

979
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:05,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, that's my wife. My wife, her mom like

980
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:08,399
Speaker 1: six times a day and I never I literally called

981
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:10,759
Speaker 1: my mom once a month. And I remember my mom

982
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:13,080
Speaker 1: just like once, like we were on a call and

983
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 1: I didn't tell her things were hard, but obviously she's

984
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:16,920
Speaker 1: my mom. She can sense that things were hard. This

985
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:19,800
Speaker 1: was like seven eight years ago, and she just said

986
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:22,640
Speaker 1: like one of the most motivational things to me ever,

987
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 1: and she never does that, so like I'm not used

988
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 1: to that from her. And it was about me and

989
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,120
Speaker 1: about something in my past I'll tell you off camera later,

990
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,239
Speaker 1: and it was just one of those things that I

991
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:33,920
Speaker 1: was like, no way, like I didn't even know we

992
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,640
Speaker 1: had that relationship or you just gave me like a

993
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:40,800
Speaker 1: really big gift in my I was just turning thirty

994
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:44,279
Speaker 1: maybe like at that time, and I couldn't believe that

995
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:46,399
Speaker 1: she said that to me then, and so I would

996
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:48,360
Speaker 1: never have realized that if I wasn't going through that

997
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:50,400
Speaker 1: point in my life. Yes, and she didn't sense it.

998
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 1: So I didn't see the value my mom could offer me.

999
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:55,359
Speaker 2: It's so funny how heavy a mom's words could be

1000
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:58,359
Speaker 2: so heavy. Like I remember I was in tent like

1001
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:00,920
Speaker 2: tennis craziness, and I called my mom and I just

1002
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:04,839
Speaker 2: was like just dark, and my mom was like, you're

1003
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:07,400
Speaker 2: not being yourself and I was like, who, what do

1004
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:11,360
Speaker 2: you even mean? And she's like, you're a lighthearted, funny, silly,

1005
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 2: like goofy girl, Like that's who Hannah is. Like I

1006
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 2: don't know who this is right now, but I'm just,

1007
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:19,840
Speaker 2: you know, trying to figure out who I am an

1008
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 2: eighteen year old, And looking back, I'm like, she's so

1009
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 2: right that I was. I was turning into someone I

1010
00:47:25,239 --> 00:47:28,719
Speaker 2: wasn't because I was just forcing things. I also think

1011
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 2: with friendships and relationships in your thirties, you start being

1012
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:35,479
Speaker 2: like enough time to force things, and also why would

1013
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 2: I force anything? Like me and you, for example, Like

1014
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:40,359
Speaker 2: I feel like if I was like I need Jay

1015
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:43,400
Speaker 2: to like me, and like was obsessed with like connecting

1016
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,839
Speaker 2: with you, who knows if that would have worked, but

1017
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:48,400
Speaker 2: like we naturally hit it off and we have a

1018
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 2: friendship where like I feel like sometimes people will be

1019
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:53,800
Speaker 2: like if I if I ask them to get coffee

1020
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:55,360
Speaker 2: and I do this, I live my life kind of

1021
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:58,360
Speaker 2: like put your energy out there and the right energies

1022
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 2: will come back. Authentic relationships are better than thousands of

1023
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:04,759
Speaker 2: people that you're like, they wouldn't be there for me

1024
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:06,080
Speaker 2: when I need to bury a body.

1025
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm still trying to get you to like I

1026
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:13,240
Speaker 1: was trying.

1027
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:18,719
Speaker 3: No, I do think it's good vibe.

1028
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:21,080
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, no for sure, and and I can agree

1029
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:25,480
Speaker 1: with you more there isn't. I think tactics and hacks

1030
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:28,279
Speaker 1: and things like that get you very don't get you

1031
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:31,239
Speaker 1: very far with humans. Like they work on things, they

1032
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 1: work on tools, they work on strategy and projects and

1033
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:37,280
Speaker 1: things like that, but they don't really work well with people.

1034
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:38,800
Speaker 3: I also find it with dating.

1035
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 2: I used to be like, if I construct the perfect

1036
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 2: text message, he's gonna realize that I'm freaking cool. I

1037
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 2: was so into I'd get nervous and be like if

1038
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:51,520
Speaker 2: I say this, or like I wasn't funny enough, and

1039
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:54,879
Speaker 2: looking back, you're like the emoji or not emoji did

1040
00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:58,160
Speaker 2: not change, Like it's funny because my husband he met

1041
00:48:58,200 --> 00:48:59,680
Speaker 2: me going when I was in the middle of this

1042
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 2: like sane reality TV time, which arguably like I was

1043
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:05,960
Speaker 2: crying more than I've ever cried before. Like that's not

1044
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:09,200
Speaker 2: what it's like being with me. I'm I have other issues,

1045
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:12,760
Speaker 2: but crying was not a thing. So it's talk about

1046
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:14,880
Speaker 2: like someone loving you at your worst. It's almost like

1047
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 2: he saw me as like an open wound and he

1048
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:19,600
Speaker 2: loved me through that. So I joke, now I'm like,

1049
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 2: first date, get in a fight, like like start crying,

1050
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 2: tell him all your trauma, and like if you can't

1051
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:26,839
Speaker 2: with it, be on to the next one.

1052
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:28,840
Speaker 3: Why are we pretending to be perfect for three years?

1053
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 1: Yea?

1054
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 3: And then realizing you hate that.

1055
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,840
Speaker 2: I really thought that, like if I was perfect, perfect

1056
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:38,840
Speaker 2: things would happen to me, and that's just not the game.

1057
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:41,440
Speaker 1: So we've talked so much about your confidence in these places,

1058
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:43,799
Speaker 1: how you applied to your love life, Like what was

1059
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 1: that like in relationship? In dating? Were you as analytical?

1060
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:49,040
Speaker 1: Were you able to make sense of stuff or in

1061
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:50,640
Speaker 1: that area? Were you like, oh my.

1062
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:52,880
Speaker 2: God, it's so funny how everything's so similar. I was

1063
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:56,160
Speaker 2: like tennis, where like even when I was like could

1064
00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:58,440
Speaker 2: not hit a serve, I had this confidence that I

1065
00:49:58,480 --> 00:49:59,280
Speaker 2: could still win.

1066
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:00,400
Speaker 3: And I I win.

1067
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:04,040
Speaker 2: But like I always I joke, like I always think

1068
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:08,319
Speaker 2: everyone loves me, Like I'm I'll have friends, I'll walk

1069
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:11,040
Speaker 2: into a room like I have reverse by dysmorphia, Like

1070
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 2: I think everyone's attracted to me. And but I just

1071
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:16,920
Speaker 2: had this confidence that no matter what was going on

1072
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 2: like that I'll fall in love and I'll have the

1073
00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:21,759
Speaker 2: most amazing relationship and everyone's attracted to me and wants

1074
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:22,279
Speaker 2: to be with me.

1075
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:25,400
Speaker 3: And that was just what I put into the world.

1076
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 2: But I also had an ego with it, where like

1077
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:32,080
Speaker 2: I realized that I would go after emotionally unavailable guys

1078
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 2: because I wasn't ready. I was like, no one's rejecting me,

1079
00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 2: Like no one's rejecting me. And I'd go after like

1080
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 2: really good looking men who I didn't respect emotionally, so

1081
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:44,680
Speaker 2: that if it didn't work out, I'd be like he's

1082
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:48,520
Speaker 2: going stupid, like obviously I didn't like him, or like

1083
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:51,040
Speaker 2: they wouldn't make me laugh, or like I liked having

1084
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:53,520
Speaker 2: hot men around me, and it is kind of I

1085
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:56,799
Speaker 2: always like male dominate spaces and where you tie right now,

1086
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:58,400
Speaker 2: but I kind of liked I thought it was powerful

1087
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:01,120
Speaker 2: to be like a girl that like I could date

1088
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:03,879
Speaker 2: a lot of hot guys. It's like I didn't want

1089
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:08,440
Speaker 2: to be fully seen either. And I finally like, my

1090
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:12,399
Speaker 2: husband is a guy who very good looking, but I

1091
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 2: really respect emotionally, and he sees me and he calls

1092
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:23,680
Speaker 2: me out on stuff and is okay with all the

1093
00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:27,200
Speaker 2: things that come with me, and it was like scary

1094
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:30,239
Speaker 2: and vulnerable, but it also felt really safe because I

1095
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:33,000
Speaker 2: think it was with the right person. I have been

1096
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 2: in relationships where I felt confident, like this guy on

1097
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 2: paper is like everything someone would want. Like girls probably

1098
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:41,719
Speaker 2: look and go like, oh, yeah, he's great, but I

1099
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 2: didn't feel like myself and I'm proud of myself. I

1100
00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:47,359
Speaker 2: got out of a relationship when I was younger that

1101
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 2: like other people were like, why would you leave that guy?

1102
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:52,959
Speaker 2: But because when I was alone at night, I didn't

1103
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:56,319
Speaker 2: feel like I was able to be myself with him,

1104
00:51:57,200 --> 00:52:00,640
Speaker 2: and I got out of it, and I realized, your partner,

1105
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:03,560
Speaker 2: if they're not an asset. I don't mean it like

1106
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 2: we have to make everything great in life happy. No,

1107
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:09,439
Speaker 2: if they're not enhancing and supporting you and who you are,

1108
00:52:09,719 --> 00:52:12,600
Speaker 2: there's no reason to be in a relationship. Yeah, someone

1109
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 2: said something kind of powerful that the person you're with

1110
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:18,839
Speaker 2: directly or flecs how much you love yourself. Even though

1111
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:23,479
Speaker 2: I was like dating and confident, I wasn't like really

1112
00:52:23,520 --> 00:52:26,720
Speaker 2: putting myself out there fully because I didn't know if

1113
00:52:26,719 --> 00:52:29,480
Speaker 2: someone really saw me, they would be scary if they

1114
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:31,879
Speaker 2: didn't love me. So I was like, well, I don't

1115
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:36,920
Speaker 2: love them, I don't need them, but I don't honestly

1116
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,920
Speaker 2: think having a bad relationship that hurts your mental health

1117
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:45,600
Speaker 2: is so nice because spare with me, you start realizing

1118
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:48,359
Speaker 2: I don't want to be in a relationship. Being a relationship,

1119
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:52,279
Speaker 2: it's too risky if someone is bringing me down, Like

1120
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:55,319
Speaker 2: I'd really really rather be single one hundred percent of

1121
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:57,799
Speaker 2: the time. So once I got in that mentality, like

1122
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:00,880
Speaker 2: in my late twenties, when the right guy I finally came,

1123
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:04,399
Speaker 2: I knew it because I wasn't just dating to date.

1124
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like so many of the people I

1125
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 1: know right now are just struggling with dating, Like I'm

1126
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:12,640
Speaker 1: sure you have loads of single friends too, or yeah,

1127
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:15,000
Speaker 1: yeah right, you were just like Jay, can you introduce

1128
00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 1: you to someone? Or I don't know how to meet someone.

1129
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:19,040
Speaker 1: I'm on all the apps, I'm doing this, I'm doing that,

1130
00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:22,160
Speaker 1: and it feels like it's just the wild world rest

1131
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:24,279
Speaker 1: for people, Like it's so hard. I know, at least

1132
00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:24,719
Speaker 1: that's how.

1133
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:26,360
Speaker 3: I know my advice.

1134
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:28,879
Speaker 2: I really do joke about it that, like first date,

1135
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:31,680
Speaker 2: if you go back to his apartment, like hide his

1136
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 2: remote and see what his true character is like because

1137
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:37,520
Speaker 2: I really feel, especially in a light, everyone's hot, and

1138
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:40,440
Speaker 2: I'm like I could get along with a hot person

1139
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:44,680
Speaker 2: for months before I like realize what's going on. I

1140
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:47,760
Speaker 2: think life is so short. It's like you can convince

1141
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:50,080
Speaker 2: yourself that so many people are great for you, but

1142
00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:53,840
Speaker 2: like stop lying to yourself and immediately just be like

1143
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 2: do you feel like yourself with them? And is it

1144
00:53:56,239 --> 00:53:57,560
Speaker 2: someone that you want to sit on the couch with

1145
00:53:57,640 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 2: for hours. Let's stop with the Instagram bullshit. Let's stop

1146
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:05,440
Speaker 2: with how it looks esthetically and find someone that's good

1147
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:08,440
Speaker 2: for your soul. Because your relationship is like a mirror,

1148
00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:11,760
Speaker 2: where like it's a voice that you have to listen

1149
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 2: to for the rest of your life. Make sure that

1150
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:17,080
Speaker 2: voice is someone you want to talk to, and like

1151
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:20,319
Speaker 2: they create the vibe of your life.

1152
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 3: I love quitting. I love getting out of stuff.

1153
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:24,440
Speaker 2: If you're not with the right person, like there is

1154
00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:26,279
Speaker 2: the right person there get out?

1155
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 1: Yeah no, but I think you're so right that the

1156
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 1: halo effects so strong, Like we can stay with someone

1157
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:35,279
Speaker 1: off of like the tiniest thing. Like people will stay

1158
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:37,600
Speaker 1: in a relationship because someone's hot, because someone makes lots

1159
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:40,360
Speaker 1: of money, because someone's really good at one thing, yes,

1160
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:42,200
Speaker 1: and it's so easy to do that because the halo

1161
00:54:42,200 --> 00:54:44,879
Speaker 1: effect is so powerful. You are saying in a very

1162
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:46,360
Speaker 1: sincere way, like do you want to listen to their

1163
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:47,800
Speaker 1: voice with the rest of your life? And I just

1164
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:49,520
Speaker 1: think of someone going to me, I really like the

1165
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:51,480
Speaker 1: sound of his voice, and it's like you're just attracted

1166
00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:54,040
Speaker 1: to the sound of someone's voice, but not really the

1167
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:56,160
Speaker 1: content of what they're saying or who they are and

1168
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:59,160
Speaker 1: what you're talking about someone's soul, and it's it's so

1169
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:02,319
Speaker 1: hard for our brains to detach from that which is

1170
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:04,319
Speaker 1: pleasurable to that which is actually.

1171
00:55:04,040 --> 00:55:06,120
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you're saying right. I loved having a crush.

1172
00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:07,719
Speaker 2: I would make it up. He would just have to

1173
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:09,160
Speaker 2: show like a little bit, and I was like, I

1174
00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:10,480
Speaker 2: love this. I want to wake up with that.

1175
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:11,239
Speaker 3: Hide like is it it?

1176
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:11,719
Speaker 1: Text me?

1177
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:13,640
Speaker 2: And then you finally like meet him and you're like,

1178
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:15,920
Speaker 2: oh my god, this is not it.

1179
00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:16,800
Speaker 3: It took me a while.

1180
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 2: I would really just be like, as long as he's tall,

1181
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:22,320
Speaker 2: I could figure this out. And then I remember feeling

1182
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:24,040
Speaker 2: like I was signing my soul to the devil. I

1183
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:26,840
Speaker 2: was like, you deserve better, and I do think like

1184
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:30,359
Speaker 2: you love yourself. The person you're with is showing how

1185
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:33,600
Speaker 2: much you love yourself. You deserve the best, also with

1186
00:55:33,719 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 2: someone who's just got married, Like I do have to say,

1187
00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:37,600
Speaker 2: when you're growing up.

1188
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 3: You're like, who's my soulmate? Who's my soulmate?

1189
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:42,880
Speaker 2: And not to be a de Wie downer, I believe

1190
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:45,600
Speaker 2: there are soulmates. I don't think at all that there's

1191
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:49,279
Speaker 2: one person. I really think of marriage as like a

1192
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:52,600
Speaker 2: best friend and that it's very similar to friendships. You know,

1193
00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:55,000
Speaker 2: when you meet someone, like I'll meet a girl and

1194
00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 2: immediately I'm like, whe have has.

1195
00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:59,280
Speaker 3: This bitch been all my life? She's amazing. I'm obsessed

1196
00:55:59,280 --> 00:55:59,640
Speaker 3: with her.

1197
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:01,920
Speaker 2: And I'll have a couple of those kind of relationships

1198
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:03,239
Speaker 2: in your life. And that's how I feel with men

1199
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:07,040
Speaker 2: as well, romantic relationships. So it's like the person I'm

1200
00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:10,200
Speaker 2: with right now, he's so right for me, he's amazing.

1201
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:11,920
Speaker 2: I do think there's other people in the world that

1202
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:15,319
Speaker 2: potentially I could have married and had that I haven't met.

1203
00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:18,719
Speaker 2: So it's like you create your own adventure and you

1204
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 2: find the person that's right for you. In that moment,

1205
00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:23,319
Speaker 2: people will be mad, like why did I marry this guy?

1206
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:26,279
Speaker 2: And I'm like, maybe he was right for you in

1207
00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:29,600
Speaker 2: nineteen ninety seven or whatever it happened, and he was

1208
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:32,040
Speaker 2: perfect for you in that time, So stop putting so

1209
00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:35,719
Speaker 2: much pressure on this like one insane thing. It's like, no,

1210
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:39,440
Speaker 2: it's it's vibes and it's like finding your best friend. Yeah,

1211
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:41,840
Speaker 2: and you'll have a lot of beautiful relationships in your life.

1212
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:44,000
Speaker 1: What were some of the surprising challenges that came up

1213
00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:45,640
Speaker 1: in marriage that maybe you didn't expect.

1214
00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 3: I do have to say. My husband has a joke.

1215
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:48,879
Speaker 3: He's a comedian too.

1216
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:51,719
Speaker 2: He actually has a really good bit about mindfulness that

1217
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:52,360
Speaker 2: I feel like you.

1218
00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:55,239
Speaker 1: I'll send it to you, man, please do.

1219
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:58,719
Speaker 2: It's just about how mindfulness he jokes about back then

1220
00:56:58,800 --> 00:57:01,960
Speaker 2: it was just like watching for sipitation go down. She's like,

1221
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:04,480
Speaker 2: you can't even sit and take a shit without like scrolling,

1222
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:07,120
Speaker 2: Like mindfulness used to just be existing. I butchered that bit,

1223
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:12,880
Speaker 2: but it's about that. But he has this joke about marriage,

1224
00:57:12,880 --> 00:57:14,960
Speaker 2: how he'll tell people like, we don't spend a lot

1225
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:16,920
Speaker 2: of time together because I'm on the road a lot.

1226
00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 2: He's on the road, and how people like thirty five

1227
00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:21,560
Speaker 2: and under are like, oh, that must be really hard

1228
00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:23,960
Speaker 2: but that people thirty five and over are like, you

1229
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:29,600
Speaker 2: guys are gonna make it Like we never get into

1230
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:32,720
Speaker 2: that like roommate situation where you start feeling like, oh,

1231
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:34,720
Speaker 2: this is just a roommate that I have that lives

1232
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:38,160
Speaker 2: with me. It stays kind of exciting because we don't

1233
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:40,800
Speaker 2: have that routine. Our Our careers are very kind of

1234
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:44,800
Speaker 2: crazy and we're really good at communicating. I think the

1235
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:47,840
Speaker 2: funny thing about marriage is that dating is a lot

1236
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:50,040
Speaker 2: of chasing. There's a lot of like.

1237
00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:53,120
Speaker 3: Are we gonna get engaged, are we gonna get married?

1238
00:57:53,200 --> 00:57:56,320
Speaker 3: What is this gonna be? And then you become it.

1239
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:58,160
Speaker 2: It reminds me of life, where like if you don't

1240
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:02,280
Speaker 2: love the journey, there's no point to it and you

1241
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:05,520
Speaker 2: realize like, oh, this isn't about getting the ring, Like

1242
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 2: this is just about finding someone I want to be

1243
00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 2: with with him. It's like we're married, We're not I'm

1244
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:14,840
Speaker 2: not playing any more games. The games are over. And

1245
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:17,560
Speaker 2: I liked kind of being like, what's going to happen

1246
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:20,240
Speaker 2: and there's no game playing?

1247
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:22,200
Speaker 3: That's your person.

1248
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 1: Yeah. I remember reading a study that talked about how

1249
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:27,720
Speaker 1: what we really get addicted to at the beginning of

1250
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:32,120
Speaker 1: a relationship is stress and excitement. Yes, so the excitement

1251
00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:34,520
Speaker 1: of I just texted them, the stress of will they

1252
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:36,680
Speaker 1: text me back? Yes, you got the excitement of like

1253
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:38,640
Speaker 1: I just told all my friends about this guy, the

1254
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:40,840
Speaker 1: stress of I don't know if he's talking about me

1255
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:43,240
Speaker 1: to his friends. Yeah, And so that keeps you. It's

1256
00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:45,640
Speaker 1: what you're saying. The game keeps you going. And then

1257
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:47,440
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, when you actually end up with

1258
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:50,920
Speaker 1: someone then and everyone goes, wait a minute, there's no

1259
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:53,160
Speaker 1: excitement anymore. It's like, no, no, no, you were just addicted

1260
00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:53,680
Speaker 1: to stress.

1261
00:58:53,800 --> 00:58:56,120
Speaker 2: Yes, And I do have to say the peacefulness of

1262
00:58:56,160 --> 00:58:58,520
Speaker 2: marriage has been really nice for me in terms of,

1263
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:02,160
Speaker 2: like dating actually was really time consuming and stressful. So

1264
00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:03,720
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm able to focus more on my

1265
00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:06,520
Speaker 2: career and being myself. I used to like not be

1266
00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:09,040
Speaker 2: able to enjoy friends sometimes because I'm sitting there thinking

1267
00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:11,400
Speaker 2: about a guy or at dinner and I'm just like,

1268
00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 2: I don't really care about this because like so and

1269
00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:17,040
Speaker 2: so hasn't texted me back. Where now I have this

1270
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:20,200
Speaker 2: like comfort of like I have my person who's my

1271
00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:22,880
Speaker 2: sidekick and there for me, and I can actually be

1272
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:27,000
Speaker 2: myself more, which has been really nice when I was single,

1273
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:29,000
Speaker 2: I was boy crazy, and I was like putting it

1274
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:31,320
Speaker 2: on a pedestal. So I've I've done that and been that,

1275
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:34,400
Speaker 2: and I think once you realize, you just you don't

1276
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:35,120
Speaker 2: want to force it.

1277
00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:35,800
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1278
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:38,960
Speaker 2: My ultimate dating tip is that do the things you

1279
00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:41,080
Speaker 2: love and it will track people who will love you

1280
00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:44,680
Speaker 2: where it's I tell people like, I know this is corny,

1281
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:47,080
Speaker 2: but like if you like volleyball, join a volleyball league.

1282
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:50,080
Speaker 2: You can't just like sit around hoping like be you

1283
00:59:50,440 --> 00:59:51,280
Speaker 2: and they will come.

1284
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:53,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah the.

1285
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:55,880
Speaker 2: Baseball field, as they say, you build it, they will come.

1286
00:59:56,040 --> 00:59:59,000
Speaker 1: For men, I think it's similar. Like all the most

1287
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:01,760
Speaker 1: successful men that I've spoken to have all said that

1288
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:05,320
Speaker 1: their success came when they committed to one woman. Yeah,

1289
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:07,360
Speaker 1: and then they actually had time and energy to build

1290
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:07,880
Speaker 1: everything else.

1291
01:00:07,960 --> 01:00:08,720
Speaker 3: It is exhausted.

1292
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 1: Other than the exhaustion of thinking that it was cool

1293
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:14,400
Speaker 1: to date multiple women or have affairs or whatever they

1294
01:00:14,400 --> 01:00:15,600
Speaker 1: thought it was when they were going.

1295
01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:19,040
Speaker 2: Stress that again, distress they added to exactly. But I

1296
01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:21,160
Speaker 2: do have to say to be a little positive, my

1297
01:00:21,480 --> 01:00:24,760
Speaker 2: parents have a really beautiful relationship and like they still

1298
01:00:24,800 --> 01:00:27,280
Speaker 2: like they flirt, they love each other, they make each

1299
01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:30,400
Speaker 2: other laugh and in my relationship, Like I still my

1300
01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:32,280
Speaker 2: friend makes fun of me, but like I still get

1301
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:34,480
Speaker 2: butterflies with him, like I do have it. It's not

1302
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,000
Speaker 2: you know, we're two years in and it's early, but

1303
01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:41,040
Speaker 2: I found someone who keeps me like excited, so that's possible.

1304
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:43,080
Speaker 2: It's not like, oh, you meet someone and then you're

1305
01:00:43,120 --> 01:00:46,680
Speaker 2: just like, yay, we're bored. No, Like I found someone

1306
01:00:46,680 --> 01:00:50,320
Speaker 2: who he definitely is emotionally, like we say, like our

1307
01:00:50,360 --> 01:00:53,080
Speaker 2: love languages laughter, So we're making fun of each other

1308
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:56,600
Speaker 2: and it's like we're constantly playing the game of how

1309
01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:57,640
Speaker 2: can we make each other laugh?

1310
01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:00,720
Speaker 1: Absolutely? Yeah, we banter all day in my wife so

1311
01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:02,640
Speaker 1: important when we're around.

1312
01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:05,320
Speaker 3: You, guys have a really fun yeah yeah, yeah I am.

1313
01:01:05,520 --> 01:01:07,640
Speaker 1: We're laughter as our love language for sure too, and

1314
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:09,800
Speaker 1: it has need to be. We always feel like when

1315
01:01:09,800 --> 01:01:11,960
Speaker 1: we're around new people or new couples, they're like, do

1316
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:14,280
Speaker 1: you have have issues with each other? I'm like no, no, no,

1317
01:01:14,320 --> 01:01:16,680
Speaker 1: this is just this is who we are. Like we're

1318
01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:19,640
Speaker 1: constantly bantering and that's yeah, that's our way of showing

1319
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:21,240
Speaker 1: love to each other and it works for us. And

1320
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:24,280
Speaker 1: I can also get really emotional, like when Rady's traveling whatever,

1321
01:01:24,560 --> 01:01:26,320
Speaker 1: I literally like there's no light in the house, Like

1322
01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:28,400
Speaker 1: I'm just like I get fully like I'm like, no,

1323
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:31,040
Speaker 1: the house feels different, like it's not the same because

1324
01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:33,720
Speaker 1: I'm so used to just walking back there seeing her

1325
01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:35,919
Speaker 1: giving her a hug, whatever it is, even in the work.

1326
01:01:35,920 --> 01:01:38,080
Speaker 1: Then then when she's traveling, I'm like, no, where is she?

1327
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:39,600
Speaker 1: But I love the idea of missing her.

1328
01:01:39,760 --> 01:01:42,080
Speaker 2: It was Yes, I was going to say, it makes

1329
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:46,000
Speaker 2: you not take for granted them being there when you

1330
01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:49,200
Speaker 2: wake up. Yeah, And we also are very good at communicating,

1331
01:01:49,320 --> 01:01:52,200
Speaker 2: like we'll be on the phone like all day, even

1332
01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:53,840
Speaker 2: if it's just like a two minute call to be

1333
01:01:53,880 --> 01:01:57,520
Speaker 2: like this thing happened to me. It's just natural. And

1334
01:01:57,720 --> 01:02:00,720
Speaker 2: I joke like be with some You're relationship is a

1335
01:02:00,720 --> 01:02:02,200
Speaker 2: conversation you have for the rest of your life, Like

1336
01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:04,160
Speaker 2: do you want to have it? I saw like a

1337
01:02:04,280 --> 01:02:08,320
Speaker 2: random probably a TikTok about how the person who marry

1338
01:02:08,320 --> 01:02:09,760
Speaker 2: is the person that's going to be with you when

1339
01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:12,400
Speaker 2: like your parents pass away, Like who do you want

1340
01:02:12,440 --> 01:02:14,160
Speaker 2: to be with you in those hard times? It's not

1341
01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:16,000
Speaker 2: who do you want to be in the wedding photo

1342
01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:16,280
Speaker 2: with you?

1343
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:22,360
Speaker 1: Mike, That's real, No, that's so real. That's the realist thing.

1344
01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:25,120
Speaker 1: Ever it's and then I wish I wish more people

1345
01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:28,120
Speaker 1: would internalize that because that is exactly what it is

1346
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:30,880
Speaker 1: and having And I have a friend who was with

1347
01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:33,960
Speaker 1: this partner through the loss of her mum recently. Yeah,

1348
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,120
Speaker 1: and it was the hardest thing for her, and he

1349
01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:38,720
Speaker 1: was He was the best partner I think she could

1350
01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:39,360
Speaker 1: have had during.

1351
01:02:39,240 --> 01:02:41,120
Speaker 2: That and she she needed him, and I realized I

1352
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:44,880
Speaker 2: needed my husband during my hard time. And I also

1353
01:02:44,960 --> 01:02:47,440
Speaker 2: think that trauma bonding is real. Obviously, truma bonding can

1354
01:02:47,480 --> 01:02:51,120
Speaker 2: be bad, but like I think we are so much

1355
01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:55,400
Speaker 2: powerful of a couple because early on we were dealing

1356
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:58,240
Speaker 2: with so much adversity that now when something happens, like

1357
01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:01,760
Speaker 2: we're so easily able to handle it. So when bad

1358
01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:04,400
Speaker 2: things happen to you when you're in a relationship, it's

1359
01:03:04,480 --> 01:03:08,080
Speaker 2: actually gonna show you if you're in the right relationship,

1360
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:09,280
Speaker 2: which is awesome.

1361
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:11,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wanted to pivot slightly because I feel like

1362
01:03:11,800 --> 01:03:13,720
Speaker 1: you pointed out your tie earlier, and I think this

1363
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:15,840
Speaker 1: is a really great outfit. I think we have to

1364
01:03:15,840 --> 01:03:17,920
Speaker 1: talk about it, but you know, I feel like your

1365
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:21,760
Speaker 1: whole career, from day one, it's been operating in a

1366
01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:24,960
Speaker 1: male dominant Like even I mean this article headline was

1367
01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:27,560
Speaker 1: so this one fifteen years ago New York Times she

1368
01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:30,400
Speaker 1: plays with boys and rivals don't like it. Yeah, it's crazy.

1369
01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:32,800
Speaker 1: I mean it's like that's crazy, right, Yeah, it's like

1370
01:03:32,880 --> 01:03:36,360
Speaker 1: fifteen years ago. Even now, like comedy is definitely more

1371
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:39,000
Speaker 1: male dominated, has been. Yeah, And I think it's a

1372
01:03:39,040 --> 01:03:40,800
Speaker 1: really interesting thing because I've been speaking to a lot

1373
01:03:40,800 --> 01:03:44,960
Speaker 1: of my male friends recently either married or have have

1374
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:47,920
Speaker 1: girlfriends long long term relationships, and a lot of the

1375
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:52,120
Speaker 1: women there with feel really scared about pivoting careers, feel

1376
01:03:52,240 --> 01:03:55,560
Speaker 1: scared about changing their identity, about how they're perceived in

1377
01:03:55,600 --> 01:03:58,000
Speaker 1: their small community of friends. And these aren't people who

1378
01:03:58,000 --> 01:03:59,720
Speaker 1: are saying I want to be really famous or I

1379
01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:01,920
Speaker 1: want to be really rich. It's just people thinking like

1380
01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:03,600
Speaker 1: maybe I don't want to be a doctor, and maybe

1381
01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:05,960
Speaker 1: I do want to do this, so maybe I do

1382
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:08,040
Speaker 1: want to be a yoga instructor, or maybe I do

1383
01:04:08,080 --> 01:04:10,360
Speaker 1: want to do fitness, so whatever it is, it's people

1384
01:04:10,400 --> 01:04:14,040
Speaker 1: making just genuine choices. And it's funny because when I'll

1385
01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:15,920
Speaker 1: talk to my guy friends about it, they've all done it,

1386
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:18,280
Speaker 1: and it feels really easy for a guy to like

1387
01:04:18,480 --> 01:04:23,480
Speaker 1: somewhat change his perception and identity, Whereas for women it

1388
01:04:23,520 --> 01:04:26,040
Speaker 1: feels a bit harder if you had to say something

1389
01:04:26,040 --> 01:04:27,560
Speaker 1: to them. What would you say to women who are

1390
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:28,560
Speaker 1: feeling like it's hard?

1391
01:04:28,880 --> 01:04:29,360
Speaker 3: Two things.

1392
01:04:29,400 --> 01:04:32,360
Speaker 2: One, I do think that women do have like they

1393
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:35,400
Speaker 2: have the biological clock in their head where they're like, okay,

1394
01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:37,200
Speaker 2: if I switch this and then I have kids at

1395
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:39,560
Speaker 2: this time, and then I'll be behind it like they're

1396
01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:41,040
Speaker 2: dealing with like that kind of stuff.

1397
01:04:41,120 --> 01:04:43,000
Speaker 3: I do have to do a shout out to my parents.

1398
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:47,360
Speaker 2: I think I was raised a very not unique, but

1399
01:04:47,400 --> 01:04:51,960
Speaker 2: I was raised very like genderless, like I wore whatever

1400
01:04:52,040 --> 01:04:55,320
Speaker 2: clothes I want to wear. My dad really treated me.

1401
01:04:55,400 --> 01:04:57,080
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even say like a boy, just like I

1402
01:04:57,160 --> 01:04:58,920
Speaker 2: was never said I was pretty. It was about like

1403
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:02,320
Speaker 2: being hard work. And I think growing up as I

1404
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:04,560
Speaker 2: got older and people started to be like, you're a girl,

1405
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:06,360
Speaker 2: you're not allowed to do that, I was like, woo,

1406
01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:09,120
Speaker 2: that's hilarious, and I'm going to.

1407
01:05:09,160 --> 01:05:11,280
Speaker 3: Show you that that's not true.

1408
01:05:12,040 --> 01:05:14,760
Speaker 2: And I think even like wearing the tie, I joked

1409
01:05:14,760 --> 01:05:17,680
Speaker 2: that like it makes me feel people are like listening

1410
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:19,680
Speaker 2: to me more like I could say things I don't

1411
01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:21,320
Speaker 2: know about and people are like, she sounds like she

1412
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:24,880
Speaker 2: knows what she's talking about. And I love playing with

1413
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:28,320
Speaker 2: the gender roles because I think they're socially constructed in

1414
01:05:28,360 --> 01:05:30,520
Speaker 2: a way. But I also do realize now that I'm

1415
01:05:30,960 --> 01:05:34,200
Speaker 2: I'm thirty three, and some male comics their careers are

1416
01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:38,320
Speaker 2: popping off like mine, where I'm like, if I want

1417
01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:39,480
Speaker 2: to have a kid, I have to do it in

1418
01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:41,440
Speaker 2: the next couple of years. How is that going to

1419
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:44,640
Speaker 2: affect my trajectory where they cannot have They don't give

1420
01:05:44,640 --> 01:05:47,800
Speaker 2: off about that. And I'm used to being like, there's

1421
01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:49,960
Speaker 2: no difference between me and you, but then I realized, like,

1422
01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:53,640
Speaker 2: oh shit, there is differences. But I like to be

1423
01:05:53,760 --> 01:05:56,520
Speaker 2: in terms of like my feminism, people get confused thinking

1424
01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:58,960
Speaker 2: that feminists are like men and women are equal.

1425
01:05:59,200 --> 01:06:03,280
Speaker 3: We're not. We're very different in so many beautiful.

1426
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:05,680
Speaker 2: Ways, and like we want equal opportunities, but we're going

1427
01:06:05,760 --> 01:06:08,640
Speaker 2: to go about it our own way. So it's finding

1428
01:06:08,720 --> 01:06:12,200
Speaker 2: like what is your superpower as a woman, And I

1429
01:06:12,240 --> 01:06:16,800
Speaker 2: do think with women this is good. Women love to

1430
01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:22,080
Speaker 2: be over prepared and overqualified for things before we do it.

1431
01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:24,920
Speaker 2: I'm working on this new bit about like I say,

1432
01:06:24,960 --> 01:06:27,760
Speaker 2: a lot of men are pilots, because no woman would

1433
01:06:27,760 --> 01:06:29,960
Speaker 2: just wake up and be like I could fly a plane,

1434
01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:31,920
Speaker 2: Like she would have to be like so good at

1435
01:06:31,960 --> 01:06:34,480
Speaker 2: flying planes to finally be like, can I fly a plane?

1436
01:06:34,800 --> 01:06:36,720
Speaker 2: And then I joke like if women flew planes, we'd

1437
01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:39,360
Speaker 2: literally be lost all the time and like need snacks

1438
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:44,520
Speaker 2: and stuff like that. But anyway, it's multi fascetating. So

1439
01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:48,920
Speaker 2: I think with women, stop waiting to be like over

1440
01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:53,360
Speaker 2: prepared to do something, and I think so many men

1441
01:06:54,360 --> 01:06:56,480
Speaker 2: will just be like a little bit confident and be

1442
01:06:56,520 --> 01:06:58,880
Speaker 2: like I'll figure it out where women, Like even a

1443
01:06:59,040 --> 01:07:01,200
Speaker 2: job interviews, I feel like men will be like I'll

1444
01:07:01,240 --> 01:07:03,320
Speaker 2: figure it out where girls will have to be so

1445
01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:07,000
Speaker 2: over prepared to even go into the interview. Like even

1446
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:08,960
Speaker 2: when I was like a sports reporter for a second,

1447
01:07:09,760 --> 01:07:12,720
Speaker 2: I had to show that I knew sports soaking well

1448
01:07:12,760 --> 01:07:15,120
Speaker 2: to even get in the same room, where like a dude,

1449
01:07:15,120 --> 01:07:17,280
Speaker 2: they just assume he knows it because it's like sports.

1450
01:07:17,560 --> 01:07:21,280
Speaker 2: So for girls, I'd say, do things you're you're not

1451
01:07:21,680 --> 01:07:25,200
Speaker 2: qualified for. I was not qualified to get a Netflix special,

1452
01:07:25,520 --> 01:07:28,680
Speaker 2: but I did it. If you looked at my resume,

1453
01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:31,520
Speaker 2: you'd say that girl should not have a Netflix special,

1454
01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:34,520
Speaker 2: But I did, and it was top five on Netflix.

1455
01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:38,160
Speaker 2: So I think for the girls, don't wait till you're overqualified.

1456
01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:41,800
Speaker 2: Challenge yourself and you gain confidence when you're able to

1457
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:44,280
Speaker 2: do something you didn't know you could do.

1458
01:07:44,600 --> 01:07:47,160
Speaker 1: That's great advice. I love that. And you're sport on.

1459
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:49,120
Speaker 1: I remember looking at the studies a few years ago.

1460
01:07:49,480 --> 01:07:51,080
Speaker 1: He literally said that if a guy looks at an

1461
01:07:51,120 --> 01:07:53,400
Speaker 1: application and he can do four and have ten things,

1462
01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:55,520
Speaker 1: he'll apply, And if a girl looks in it and

1463
01:07:55,520 --> 01:07:57,400
Speaker 1: she can do eight of ten things, she won't apply.

1464
01:07:57,600 --> 01:07:58,560
Speaker 3: I literally have chills.

1465
01:07:58,640 --> 01:08:01,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have chills because that is so true, and

1466
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:04,640
Speaker 2: women are so competent, but I guess they like there's

1467
01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:06,040
Speaker 2: like a safety thing with it.

1468
01:08:06,320 --> 01:08:07,840
Speaker 3: I do say something about experience.

1469
01:08:08,640 --> 01:08:11,840
Speaker 2: They did a study somewhere I suppear this wasn't from TikTok,

1470
01:08:11,960 --> 01:08:15,680
Speaker 2: but a study about like doctors and how some new

1471
01:08:15,760 --> 01:08:19,240
Speaker 2: doctors were actually better than doctors who had like forty

1472
01:08:19,280 --> 01:08:21,600
Speaker 2: years of experience because they were actually like fresher and

1473
01:08:21,680 --> 01:08:24,240
Speaker 2: more open minded, more up to date, and just how

1474
01:08:24,320 --> 01:08:26,639
Speaker 2: like just because someone has more experience with you doesn't

1475
01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:28,599
Speaker 2: necessarily make them better than you had.

1476
01:08:28,640 --> 01:08:28,960
Speaker 3: Something.

1477
01:08:29,640 --> 01:08:32,280
Speaker 2: My advice for like job interviews is I would go

1478
01:08:32,320 --> 01:08:34,320
Speaker 2: in and be like, I don't have the year's experience

1479
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:36,880
Speaker 2: you want, but these are all the ideas I have

1480
01:08:36,960 --> 01:08:40,160
Speaker 2: of what I'm gonna do. So don't wait till you're overqualified,

1481
01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:43,519
Speaker 2: Like do things are underqualified for and see what you're

1482
01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:44,120
Speaker 2: capable of.

1483
01:08:44,560 --> 01:08:47,240
Speaker 1: So needed that's great advice. I thank you. I love that.

1484
01:08:47,439 --> 01:08:49,559
Speaker 1: How do if your younger self was to look at

1485
01:08:49,640 --> 01:08:52,439
Speaker 1: you now, if you were to go meet her and

1486
01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:54,880
Speaker 1: she saw you having the Netflix special or doing what

1487
01:08:54,880 --> 01:08:58,200
Speaker 1: you're doing today touring, what do you think she'd say?

1488
01:08:58,360 --> 01:09:00,360
Speaker 2: She wouldn't imagine it, but I feel like she be like,

1489
01:09:00,400 --> 01:09:03,800
Speaker 2: that's awesome. I do think there was a time when

1490
01:09:03,800 --> 01:09:05,840
Speaker 2: I was like twenty four and I was like in

1491
01:09:05,920 --> 01:09:09,479
Speaker 2: sales or something, and when my cousins said, like he

1492
01:09:09,560 --> 01:09:12,120
Speaker 2: was gonna move to LA to be an actor, and

1493
01:09:12,160 --> 01:09:17,000
Speaker 2: I remember getting like a guttural jealousy that I was

1494
01:09:17,040 --> 01:09:21,599
Speaker 2: like not expecting, and looking back, I was like, why

1495
01:09:21,640 --> 01:09:23,800
Speaker 2: are you jealous that your cousins move in LA to

1496
01:09:23,800 --> 01:09:24,320
Speaker 2: do acting?

1497
01:09:25,040 --> 01:09:27,000
Speaker 3: That's insane. You don't even want to be an actress?

1498
01:09:27,280 --> 01:09:30,559
Speaker 2: But deep deep down I did, and I like didn't

1499
01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:32,920
Speaker 2: admit it to myself because it's like a lot to

1500
01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:35,439
Speaker 2: admit that you want to be a performer or want

1501
01:09:35,479 --> 01:09:37,679
Speaker 2: your dreams. It's scary to say what dreams you want

1502
01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:42,080
Speaker 2: for anyone who's feeling like a jealousy towards something, that's

1503
01:09:42,120 --> 01:09:44,879
Speaker 2: the universe telling you you want to do it. Yeah,

1504
01:09:44,920 --> 01:09:48,120
Speaker 2: And it's crazy that years later now, like I'm getting

1505
01:09:48,160 --> 01:09:52,160
Speaker 2: into acting and I tried so hard to fight it,

1506
01:09:52,560 --> 01:09:54,920
Speaker 2: but the universe was like, you're not doing that. You're

1507
01:09:54,960 --> 01:09:57,840
Speaker 2: not doing that until I got in this lane, I

1508
01:09:58,000 --> 01:09:59,760
Speaker 2: like to say, even though I've never served, it's like

1509
01:09:59,800 --> 01:10:03,080
Speaker 2: so where like when you find the right wave, it's going.

1510
01:10:03,040 --> 01:10:05,639
Speaker 3: To feel easier and you're gonna love it. It's gonna

1511
01:10:05,640 --> 01:10:08,000
Speaker 3: be fun. So like, find your wave.

1512
01:10:08,320 --> 01:10:11,000
Speaker 1: That jealousy point is so clear. I feel like we're

1513
01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:13,160
Speaker 1: living at a time where it's so scary to share

1514
01:10:13,160 --> 01:10:15,960
Speaker 1: your dreams with someone else because you're scared it might

1515
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:19,160
Speaker 1: remind them that they're not chasing theirs, and you're scared

1516
01:10:19,200 --> 01:10:21,320
Speaker 1: that they may react and tell you not to chase

1517
01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:23,559
Speaker 1: it because they don't believe in you. And the truth

1518
01:10:23,640 --> 01:10:26,479
Speaker 1: is they never had the strength to even give themselves

1519
01:10:26,479 --> 01:10:28,960
Speaker 1: the worth to chase their Yeah. And then at the

1520
01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:31,880
Speaker 1: same time, you're scared of hearing it, because it might

1521
01:10:31,920 --> 01:10:34,599
Speaker 1: remind you of the doubt you already have in your

1522
01:10:34,600 --> 01:10:37,400
Speaker 1: own abilities, and the fears you already have, and the

1523
01:10:37,400 --> 01:10:40,280
Speaker 1: insecurities you have that it's not possible for you. And

1524
01:10:40,320 --> 01:10:42,880
Speaker 1: it creates a really messy situation in society, I feel,

1525
01:10:42,920 --> 01:10:45,639
Speaker 1: because you have less people wanting to chase their dreams,

1526
01:10:45,920 --> 01:10:49,519
Speaker 1: less people rooting for them, and less people admitting what

1527
01:10:49,600 --> 01:10:52,080
Speaker 1: their dreams are. And that feels like a really bad

1528
01:10:52,080 --> 01:10:55,920
Speaker 1: place to live, where dreams are becoming buried deeper and

1529
01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:58,639
Speaker 1: deeper and deeper inside someone's soul and you know, never

1530
01:10:58,640 --> 01:11:02,560
Speaker 1: get seen. Yes, And so if someone's feeling that, and

1531
01:11:02,600 --> 01:11:05,040
Speaker 1: they're feeling that jealousy, which you so beautifully said, could

1532
01:11:05,040 --> 01:11:07,240
Speaker 1: be a sign or a signal that that's what you

1533
01:11:07,280 --> 01:11:09,960
Speaker 1: want to do, what would you say is the first

1534
01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:12,280
Speaker 1: three steps someone should take if they think they have

1535
01:11:12,280 --> 01:11:14,880
Speaker 1: a crazy dream. They may never have done it before,

1536
01:11:15,280 --> 01:11:17,639
Speaker 1: they don't really get it, but they feel that deep

1537
01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:19,000
Speaker 1: inside of them it's always been there.

1538
01:11:19,160 --> 01:11:21,920
Speaker 2: I was always obsessed with successful people, like I'd look

1539
01:11:21,920 --> 01:11:24,800
Speaker 2: at like Rihanna, and I'm like, what is different about

1540
01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:25,759
Speaker 2: her than other people?

1541
01:11:26,080 --> 01:11:28,880
Speaker 3: And when you strip it down, it always starts with

1542
01:11:29,360 --> 01:11:29,920
Speaker 3: she tried.

1543
01:11:30,400 --> 01:11:32,880
Speaker 2: Like eighty percent of it is being like I want

1544
01:11:32,920 --> 01:11:34,960
Speaker 2: to be this and I'm going to do it. And

1545
01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:38,240
Speaker 2: then I like to literally sit down and like say

1546
01:11:38,280 --> 01:11:42,240
Speaker 2: something crazy like Okay, I want to get a Netflix special.

1547
01:11:42,640 --> 01:11:45,800
Speaker 2: Then I literally go backwards of all the things you

1548
01:11:45,840 --> 01:11:47,639
Speaker 2: have to do to get there. Okay, get an Flix special.

1549
01:11:48,040 --> 01:11:50,360
Speaker 2: You'd have to perform in front of someone at Netflix.

1550
01:11:50,400 --> 01:11:52,800
Speaker 2: How do you do that? You'd have to be selling

1551
01:11:52,800 --> 01:11:54,240
Speaker 2: out theaters. How do you do that? You'd have to

1552
01:11:54,240 --> 01:11:56,400
Speaker 2: get JFL. How do you get JFL? You'd have to

1553
01:11:56,439 --> 01:11:58,280
Speaker 2: go in the clubs. How do you get in the clubs?

1554
01:11:58,360 --> 01:12:00,840
Speaker 2: You'd have to start writing? How do you start writing?

1555
01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:03,479
Speaker 2: By don't it tomorrow? So then it's like you literally

1556
01:12:03,520 --> 01:12:06,080
Speaker 2: have the path and it starts so small, and I

1557
01:12:06,160 --> 01:12:08,160
Speaker 2: think so many people don't want to go through the

1558
01:12:08,160 --> 01:12:10,120
Speaker 2: whole path. And then when you think about it, it's

1559
01:12:10,120 --> 01:12:13,599
Speaker 2: like you just have to go do it. It's actually

1560
01:12:14,000 --> 01:12:16,240
Speaker 2: a lot less overwhelming when you think I just have

1561
01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:18,639
Speaker 2: to write tomorrow than be like I've see a Netflix

1562
01:12:18,640 --> 01:12:22,080
Speaker 2: special in two years, but realistically I got an Eflics

1563
01:12:22,080 --> 01:12:27,000
Speaker 2: special in like five years. Of comedy plus COVID, which

1564
01:12:27,040 --> 01:12:29,559
Speaker 2: is crazy, but it's because that wasn't the plan. It

1565
01:12:29,640 --> 01:12:31,840
Speaker 2: was just I wanted to be myself and have fun

1566
01:12:31,880 --> 01:12:32,519
Speaker 2: doing comedy.

1567
01:12:32,720 --> 01:12:36,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so funny. Seven years ago, I had a

1568
01:12:36,080 --> 01:12:38,760
Speaker 1: production company reach out to me from LA. They'd seen

1569
01:12:38,840 --> 01:12:41,640
Speaker 1: my first ever video that had gone viral and they

1570
01:12:41,680 --> 01:12:43,160
Speaker 1: loved it, and they'd reached out and said, we want

1571
01:12:43,160 --> 01:12:45,960
Speaker 1: to build a TV show around you. And so I

1572
01:12:46,080 --> 01:12:48,360
Speaker 1: was like, I couldn't believe it because I just started

1573
01:12:48,400 --> 01:12:51,080
Speaker 1: creating content and had a viral video and I thought

1574
01:12:51,160 --> 01:12:52,960
Speaker 1: that was cool enough as it was so anyway, I

1575
01:12:53,000 --> 01:12:54,960
Speaker 1: like flew to LA on my own dime. I didn't

1576
01:12:55,000 --> 01:12:57,439
Speaker 1: have a lot of money, then sat down, had meetings,

1577
01:12:57,479 --> 01:12:59,600
Speaker 1: went back and forth, worked on creative on top of

1578
01:12:59,640 --> 01:13:02,640
Speaker 1: my day job. Came back to pitch it again on

1579
01:13:02,680 --> 01:13:04,439
Speaker 1: my own dime, like I was trying to figure out

1580
01:13:04,479 --> 01:13:07,000
Speaker 1: how I was going to do it. We pitched it

1581
01:13:07,160 --> 01:13:09,719
Speaker 1: and no one wanted the show. But I built loads

1582
01:13:09,720 --> 01:13:11,760
Speaker 1: of great relationships, and so I built all these great

1583
01:13:11,800 --> 01:13:15,040
Speaker 1: relationships at streamers production companies, became really good friends with

1584
01:13:15,080 --> 01:13:16,960
Speaker 1: some of them, but no one liked the show idea

1585
01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:21,160
Speaker 1: that we had. And it's so funny because I always

1586
01:13:21,200 --> 01:13:23,840
Speaker 1: look at that and I go, I'm so glad that

1587
01:13:23,920 --> 01:13:27,120
Speaker 1: an idea that I didn't fully own, that wasn't fully

1588
01:13:27,200 --> 01:13:29,719
Speaker 1: mine got rejected because then I built this even.

1589
01:13:29,600 --> 01:13:32,400
Speaker 2: Though at the time it probably were like yeah, at

1590
01:13:32,400 --> 01:13:34,759
Speaker 2: the time, it was just like it felt like everything

1591
01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:37,120
Speaker 2: was going not everything was going wrong, but that that

1592
01:13:37,280 --> 01:13:39,640
Speaker 2: was the big moment and I fumbled it somehow.

1593
01:13:39,320 --> 01:13:41,120
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and like right, it.

1594
01:13:41,040 --> 01:13:42,160
Speaker 3: Was felt like I fumbled.

1595
01:13:42,240 --> 01:13:44,439
Speaker 1: Yeah you just like you just dropped the ball. Yeah,

1596
01:13:44,479 --> 01:13:48,200
Speaker 1: you were like, that was my moment and that's it when.

1597
01:13:48,120 --> 01:13:51,000
Speaker 2: Life has like so many moments. One of my favorite

1598
01:13:51,040 --> 01:13:53,639
Speaker 2: things to tell people is especially like video creation.

1599
01:13:54,320 --> 01:13:55,200
Speaker 3: People would be like.

1600
01:13:55,520 --> 01:13:58,719
Speaker 2: What if I told you the fifteenth video you post

1601
01:13:58,800 --> 01:14:00,880
Speaker 2: is going to go viral? How quick would you post

1602
01:14:00,920 --> 01:14:03,640
Speaker 2: the next video? I kind of am obsessed with the

1603
01:14:03,680 --> 01:14:06,479
Speaker 2: gritty work. It was this concept I think like with tennis,

1604
01:14:06,520 --> 01:14:09,639
Speaker 2: people would say like when are you practicing when people

1605
01:14:09,840 --> 01:14:12,479
Speaker 2: aren't watching? Are you practicing in the rain? Like that

1606
01:14:12,560 --> 01:14:16,840
Speaker 2: type of like sports stuff. So I feel like, yeah,

1607
01:14:16,880 --> 01:14:18,880
Speaker 2: people will go and do the flashy stuff, but I

1608
01:14:18,920 --> 01:14:21,759
Speaker 2: think I get ahead because I'm doing this boring stuff

1609
01:14:21,760 --> 01:14:24,759
Speaker 2: that people don't want to do. So when you realize like, oh,

1610
01:14:24,920 --> 01:14:27,320
Speaker 2: someone got a Netflix special because they did the little

1611
01:14:27,360 --> 01:14:30,400
Speaker 2: tedious things that are actually anyone could do. It's just

1612
01:14:30,439 --> 01:14:33,200
Speaker 2: people don't want to do it. So it's like put

1613
01:14:33,280 --> 01:14:36,719
Speaker 2: your head down and like you can accomplish anything.

1614
01:14:36,920 --> 01:14:40,200
Speaker 1: Well said Hannah, it's been such a joy talking to you, honestly,

1615
01:14:40,439 --> 01:14:40,880
Speaker 1: so much fun.

1616
01:14:40,960 --> 01:14:43,080
Speaker 3: I love this is actually like the should I love

1617
01:14:43,160 --> 01:14:43,840
Speaker 3: talking about it.

1618
01:14:43,840 --> 01:14:45,719
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm like, we have to do this again.

1619
01:14:45,880 --> 01:14:50,679
Speaker 2: I feel like a motivational speaker just through like quef jokes,

1620
01:14:50,880 --> 01:14:52,680
Speaker 2: but like I actually feel connected to you because I

1621
01:14:52,760 --> 01:14:56,320
Speaker 2: love through my jokes like inspiring people to see the

1622
01:14:56,360 --> 01:14:59,519
Speaker 2: world differently, even though it's not that serious at all.

1623
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:03,000
Speaker 2: But I do love like motivating, and I love coaching

1624
01:15:03,040 --> 01:15:05,400
Speaker 2: and I love making people inspired in some way.

1625
01:15:05,520 --> 01:15:07,240
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I think everything you shed today has been

1626
01:15:07,240 --> 01:15:08,120
Speaker 1: super powerful and.

1627
01:15:08,439 --> 01:15:10,559
Speaker 3: You bring it out of me.

1628
01:15:10,720 --> 01:15:13,559
Speaker 1: Oh no, I love it. You you brought it. We

1629
01:15:13,560 --> 01:15:16,439
Speaker 1: We end every episode with a final five, oh boss

1630
01:15:16,520 --> 01:15:19,120
Speaker 1: five that we asked to all guests. Hanna, Berna, these

1631
01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:22,040
Speaker 1: are your FOSS five. Questionable one what is the best

1632
01:15:22,080 --> 01:15:23,960
Speaker 1: advice you ever heard or received? Oh?

1633
01:15:24,040 --> 01:15:26,920
Speaker 2: I like this quote that says, even when it's raining,

1634
01:15:27,160 --> 01:15:28,280
Speaker 2: the hoop is always there.

1635
01:15:29,040 --> 01:15:31,479
Speaker 3: Not to give like more sports book, but.

1636
01:15:31,360 --> 01:15:34,240
Speaker 2: It's basically like you're not seeing it, but like you're

1637
01:15:34,320 --> 01:15:37,120
Speaker 2: actually okay and the world is your oyster.

1638
01:15:37,240 --> 01:15:39,479
Speaker 3: You just are there's a cloud right now.

1639
01:15:39,800 --> 01:15:42,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. I love that. Second question, what is the worst

1640
01:15:42,240 --> 01:15:43,719
Speaker 1: advice you ever heard or received?

1641
01:15:43,920 --> 01:15:48,320
Speaker 2: Probably people who just think they know better than you

1642
01:15:48,400 --> 01:15:51,160
Speaker 2: about your own life and like telling you based on

1643
01:15:51,200 --> 01:15:54,320
Speaker 2: their own experiences when you're completely different to be like,

1644
01:15:54,400 --> 01:15:55,800
Speaker 2: I wouldn't do that if I were you.

1645
01:15:55,880 --> 01:15:58,439
Speaker 1: Well, you're not me, so question number three, what is

1646
01:15:58,479 --> 01:16:00,840
Speaker 1: something you think people don't know about you?

1647
01:16:00,920 --> 01:16:03,200
Speaker 3: People probably will not be surprised they heard.

1648
01:16:03,200 --> 01:16:06,679
Speaker 2: But I'm like really messy, Like I have trouble keeping

1649
01:16:06,720 --> 01:16:11,639
Speaker 2: the home, like okay, and I but I lean into

1650
01:16:11,640 --> 01:16:13,680
Speaker 2: it and I'll be like I'm a creative but like

1651
01:16:13,760 --> 01:16:15,840
Speaker 2: some of my friends are so organized and I'm so

1652
01:16:15,960 --> 01:16:18,120
Speaker 2: jealous of them, but like I will always go to

1653
01:16:18,240 --> 01:16:20,960
Speaker 2: edit a video before like putting the dishes away, and

1654
01:16:21,000 --> 01:16:22,920
Speaker 2: then I will never put the dishes away, So I'm

1655
01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:25,880
Speaker 2: kind of like, don't have my shit together in the home.

1656
01:16:27,280 --> 01:16:30,840
Speaker 1: I love it. Question number of Wait, what stasie.

1657
01:16:30,400 --> 01:16:35,160
Speaker 2: A Leo sun virgo moon but clearly just about work

1658
01:16:35,720 --> 01:16:37,320
Speaker 2: and scorpio rising?

1659
01:16:37,360 --> 01:16:39,479
Speaker 1: Okay, oh wow, you know all of it? Wow, all right,

1660
01:16:39,560 --> 01:16:42,920
Speaker 1: question before what question numb before? Apart from your apart

1661
01:16:42,920 --> 01:16:46,200
Speaker 1: from your astrologer, was it that you d Who's the

1662
01:16:46,280 --> 01:16:47,360
Speaker 1: last person you DMD?

1663
01:16:47,560 --> 01:16:50,320
Speaker 2: It's probably Paige, my co host, because after the show,

1664
01:16:50,400 --> 01:16:52,960
Speaker 2: we see all these like funny videos from the shows

1665
01:16:52,960 --> 01:16:54,240
Speaker 2: and I'll send it to her and feel like that

1666
01:16:54,320 --> 01:16:57,799
Speaker 2: was funny, that was cute. So we're just like enjoying

1667
01:16:58,240 --> 01:17:00,280
Speaker 2: when we get home looking at all the stories.

1668
01:17:00,360 --> 01:17:02,080
Speaker 1: I love that. And question umber five, we asked this

1669
01:17:02,200 --> 01:17:04,240
Speaker 1: every guest who's ever been on the show. If you

1670
01:17:04,280 --> 01:17:06,840
Speaker 1: could create one law that everyone in the world had

1671
01:17:06,840 --> 01:17:08,320
Speaker 1: to follow, what would it be.

1672
01:17:08,680 --> 01:17:12,960
Speaker 2: I think children should have more mental health in schools, Like,

1673
01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:14,759
Speaker 2: I think it should be a lot that kids should

1674
01:17:14,800 --> 01:17:19,280
Speaker 2: learn start learning more about, like happiness, mindfulness, meditation, Like

1675
01:17:19,320 --> 01:17:21,080
Speaker 2: I don't know why that wouldn't be in the curriculum

1676
01:17:21,120 --> 01:17:23,720
Speaker 2: when that's like the most important thing to having a

1677
01:17:23,760 --> 01:17:24,400
Speaker 2: happy life.

1678
01:17:24,600 --> 01:17:25,840
Speaker 1: Mental health by Hannah Banner.

1679
01:17:25,920 --> 01:17:26,599
Speaker 3: Yeah, mental health.

1680
01:17:28,320 --> 01:17:28,720
Speaker 1: I love it.

1681
01:17:28,760 --> 01:17:30,080
Speaker 3: Get the kids, start them young.

1682
01:17:31,560 --> 01:17:34,680
Speaker 1: I love it. Everyone go and watch We write at

1683
01:17:34,760 --> 01:17:36,839
Speaker 1: door on right now. And if you don't follow Hannah already,

1684
01:17:37,120 --> 01:17:39,240
Speaker 1: make sure you follow her across the Instagram, TikTok and

1685
01:17:39,560 --> 01:17:43,000
Speaker 1: all of social media, and I'm so excited for us

1686
01:17:43,040 --> 01:17:45,759
Speaker 1: to continue our friendships and thank you for having me. Honestly,

1687
01:17:45,840 --> 01:17:47,519
Speaker 1: you are so much fun to talk to. If you

1688
01:17:47,560 --> 01:17:48,519
Speaker 1: ever want to just you.

1689
01:17:48,600 --> 01:17:50,280
Speaker 3: Might have to open for you in one of your life.

1690
01:17:50,520 --> 01:17:53,800
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I would love. Oh my god, I

1691
01:17:53,800 --> 01:17:56,519
Speaker 1: would love that. You're so people would be like, Okay,

1692
01:17:56,600 --> 01:17:59,439
Speaker 1: you're so kind to Oh my gosh, that's an honor.

1693
01:17:59,479 --> 01:17:59,840
Speaker 3: I love.

1694
01:18:00,400 --> 01:18:03,000
Speaker 1: That's such a kind offer. That's so sweet. I'm going

1695
01:18:03,040 --> 01:18:03,800
Speaker 1: to take you off on that.

1696
01:18:03,840 --> 01:18:05,880
Speaker 3: We'll see if you your team allows it.

1697
01:18:06,120 --> 01:18:11,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, she'll definitely allow it. Had to burner everyone else

1698
01:18:11,720 --> 01:18:14,600
Speaker 1: you can tell not only hilariously funny, you got so

1699
01:18:14,600 --> 01:18:17,360
Speaker 1: many great insights, thoughts, wisdom. I mean, you can drop

1700
01:18:17,400 --> 01:18:22,000
Speaker 1: the mic today. Amazing, amazing, and I really hope we

1701
01:18:22,080 --> 01:18:24,919
Speaker 1: get to hear you do more tennis commentary, more sport commentary,

1702
01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:27,519
Speaker 1: like all of it. Yeah, I'm excited. Yeah, I'm excited

1703
01:18:27,560 --> 01:18:27,920
Speaker 1: to see it.

1704
01:18:27,960 --> 01:18:29,080
Speaker 3: I think I work for ESPN.

1705
01:18:29,280 --> 01:18:32,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it. Thank you so much, Thank you

1706
01:18:32,560 --> 01:18:35,360
Speaker 1: so grateful. If you love this episode, you're going to

1707
01:18:35,479 --> 01:18:38,840
Speaker 1: love my conversation with Matthew Hussey on how to get

1708
01:18:38,880 --> 01:18:42,360
Speaker 1: over your ex and find true love in your relationships.

1709
01:18:42,520 --> 01:18:46,800
Speaker 4: People should be compassionate to themselves that extend that compassion

1710
01:18:46,920 --> 01:18:50,960
Speaker 4: to your future self, because truly extending your compassion to

1711
01:18:51,000 --> 01:18:54,040
Speaker 4: your future self is doing something that gives him or

1712
01:18:54,080 --> 01:18:56,439
Speaker 4: her a shot at a happy and a peaceful life