1 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:07,920 Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental health podcast 2 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:11,560 Speaker 1: helping you out of the gray and into the blue. 3 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: Now here's Jay Glacier. 4 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 2: Welcome back to Unbreakable, a mental health podcast with Jake 5 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,600 Speaker 2: Glazier and the guest I have on and. 6 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 3: I'm gonna introducer in a couple of minutes. 7 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:25,919 Speaker 2: Chare you all heard me talk about going overseas to 8 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:29,280 Speaker 2: Thailand to really find myself and work on mind, body, spirit. 9 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 2: And this was a person I actually met on the 10 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:35,120 Speaker 2: plane over there and we became fast friends. She wrote 11 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 2: a book. I'm in the book, but she is incredible. 12 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,199 Speaker 2: She's helping Rosie and Renee with their business now. She 13 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,840 Speaker 2: is an absolute gangster when it comes to the business world, 14 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 2: but the biggest heart in the world. And before I 15 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,839 Speaker 2: introduce her, if you're like many people, you may be 16 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 2: supposed to learn that one in five adults in this 17 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:55,639 Speaker 2: country experienced mental illness last year. Get far too many 18 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 2: failed to receive the support they need. Cayrol N Behavioral 19 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 2: Health is doing something on it. They understand the behavioral 20 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 2: health is a key part of whole health, delivering compassionate 21 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 2: care that treats physical, mental, emotional, and social needs. In 22 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 2: tandem Carolin behavioral health, raising the quality of life through 23 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:15,319 Speaker 2: empathy and action. 24 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,039 Speaker 3: So with that again, I want to bring in. 25 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:21,200 Speaker 2: This is the first guest I've had from overseas, I 26 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 2: believe on the Unbreakable podcast, Tory Archibald, who is my 27 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,319 Speaker 2: spiritual gangster from overseas in Thailand. 28 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:30,520 Speaker 3: She's from Australia. 29 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 2: We linked up in Thailand and we become fast little 30 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 2: besties ever since. 31 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:36,280 Speaker 3: How you doing. 32 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 4: I'm really good, Jay, And it's so great because I 33 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,840 Speaker 4: love the fact that you lean in and check in 34 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,839 Speaker 4: on your teammates. And after we left Thailand, you were like, hey, 35 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 4: teammate right, and been in my circle ever since. So 36 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 4: it's a great pleasure to be here today. Thank you. 37 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 2: So then Tory and I were we went to the 38 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:55,200 Speaker 2: place called Kamalai in Thailand where how many times have 39 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 2: you gone? 40 00:01:55,880 --> 00:02:00,080 Speaker 4: I'm about to go eight times now and times yeah. 41 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 3: Me to it. 42 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 2: I've talked a lot about what I've learned from the 43 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:07,560 Speaker 2: monks over there. But listen, Torri here, who is a 44 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:11,959 Speaker 2: huge person in the publicity world, PR world, marketing world, 45 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 2: not just in Australia but across the entire globe. 46 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:20,080 Speaker 3: But she were sitting at dinner, She's like, Jay, the 47 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 3: last thing you're missing and you're gonna get it this year. 48 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,679 Speaker 2: It's the last thing you're just missing love and you're 49 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 2: gonna get it this year. 50 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 3: You're gonna find it this year. 51 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 2: And sure enough, man, maybe she should become a tarret 52 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,960 Speaker 2: card reader instead of, you know, a marketing maiden, because 53 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 2: she had it. She nailed it with Rosie and it 54 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:40,679 Speaker 2: changed my life and she told me too, it will 55 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:41,639 Speaker 2: change your life forever. 56 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:44,239 Speaker 4: And you know what, the one thing I don't tell 57 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,880 Speaker 4: many people, and I think I did share it with 58 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:47,959 Speaker 4: you when we're in Camalayas. I've always been able to 59 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,800 Speaker 4: see the runway of life, and I believe anyone listening 60 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:53,239 Speaker 4: to these podcasts can also see the runway of life 61 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 4: if you just take time out for yourself, you know. 62 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 4: And when we were in Kamalaya, I kept coming up 63 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 4: to you saying, I know it's coming, it's coming. And 64 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,240 Speaker 4: then I get the email saying, oh my gosh, you know, 65 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 4: I'm engaged to Rosie, and I was over the moon 66 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,360 Speaker 4: because I feel that if we can love ourselves from 67 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,080 Speaker 4: the inside out, it's the best kind of love. And 68 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 4: it's this radiance and this energetic magic that matches us 69 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 4: with our soulmate. And I'm so grateful that that happened 70 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:19,239 Speaker 4: to you. 71 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 2: And you and I were talking saying, you said just 72 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 2: that we have to love ourselves from the inside out. 73 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:26,400 Speaker 2: I wouldn't be ready for love until I learned how 74 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,600 Speaker 2: to do that. And I finally learned how to do it. 75 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,799 Speaker 2: And you were like, oh, you're ready, Now you're ready, 76 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,680 Speaker 2: And you know, for me, I'm like, when when, Tory, 77 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:34,840 Speaker 2: when when is that? When's that going to happen? So 78 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 2: I still had a little of the grouchy glazer me, 79 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 2: you know, you know, And that's what a lot of 80 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 2: us do. It's like we want things on our timeline 81 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 2: instead of the universe's timeline. And it's a lot better 82 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 2: to have faith in the universe no long Let the 83 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 2: universe conspires to help us and when it comes, it's 84 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 2: the right time. 85 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 4: Absolutely, Jane. I think the hardest thing for anyone and 86 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 4: it doesn't matter who you are, where you leave, what 87 00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 4: your race or nationality is. It's surrendering to the process. 88 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 4: And I'm always liken it to going through a tunnel. 89 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 4: When you face a challenge, you want to switch your 90 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 4: mindset into seeing the possibilities, but often you can't see 91 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 4: them because the same lessons keep coming for you, and 92 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 4: they keep like kidding you again and again and again. 93 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 4: They're like, when am I going to get out of 94 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,680 Speaker 4: the tunnel. But the trick is to surrender and recognize 95 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,360 Speaker 4: and face the lesson, because once you face the lesson, 96 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 4: the light at the end of the tunnel starts shining 97 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:26,880 Speaker 4: for you and you're able to walk through. 98 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:29,359 Speaker 2: I want you to explain everybody who you are, because 99 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:32,600 Speaker 2: Tory also came to visit America here recently. 100 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:34,440 Speaker 3: We had a heck of a day. 101 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,039 Speaker 2: With us in Chahn McVay and Cliff Kingsbury and Brett 102 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 2: Michaels over at the Soho else in Malibu. 103 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:40,600 Speaker 3: It's a really funny day. 104 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 2: But when she first met with me, she said, you know, 105 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 2: when I'm meeting with people how to do things in America, 106 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 2: they want me to do things a certain way. 107 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,599 Speaker 3: I'm going no, no, no, no. 108 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 2: You do things your way and we'll learn from you, 109 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 2: not the other way around. You don't need to conform 110 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:57,160 Speaker 2: to us. You need to teach us what we don't know, 111 00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 2: which is the Tory way. So just explain everybody who 112 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,800 Speaker 2: you are. What you've done in your career before we 113 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 2: go into your book. 114 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:07,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, fantastic, Jane. I love that it's giving yourself permission 115 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 4: to shine. So look, when I was twenty four, I 116 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,719 Speaker 4: came back from London and I'd had this opportunity to 117 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,360 Speaker 4: work with the world's best I guess in entertainment at 118 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:19,960 Speaker 4: the time, like MTV, Nickelodeon, Showtime Networks, George Lucasfilms. I 119 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:24,159 Speaker 4: came back into Australia and Australians were so far behind 120 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 4: with media, but I'd fallen in love with storytelling. I 121 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,480 Speaker 4: was twenty four years old and no one would give 122 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 4: me a job, so I thought, fuck it, I'm going 123 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,719 Speaker 4: to create my own. So twenty four years old, I 124 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,240 Speaker 4: had no money, I had no media connections, but I 125 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:40,600 Speaker 4: had this pure self belief that I could create and 126 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 4: build big brands for others. And I wanted to work 127 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 4: with the best of the best. And that meant, you know, 128 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,320 Speaker 4: whether they were Fortune one hundred companies, whether they were 129 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,600 Speaker 4: the biggest celebrities in the world, there were influencers. I 130 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 4: just knew within my heart and my soul that I 131 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 4: would attract them, but I would be able to do 132 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:58,680 Speaker 4: extraordinary things with them. So twenty four years old, my 133 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 4: idea was rejected by many people and I just thought, 134 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 4: fuck it, I'm going to do it myself. So I 135 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 4: build a company. I build a reputation. It was based 136 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 4: and anchored on my values, which have always been passion, integrity, 137 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,599 Speaker 4: and delivery. And people go why those three values, And 138 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 4: it's pretty simple. I was passionate about creating and building 139 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 4: brands for other people. I was also passionate about, you know, 140 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 4: how I could step up and step forward and use 141 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 4: my talents to help them. Integrity because I didn't want 142 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,599 Speaker 4: to work for assholes. That was just a complete bono 143 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:28,040 Speaker 4: to me. 144 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:29,920 Speaker 3: And then that's my own heart. 145 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 4: The sad one was delivery and you will understand this 146 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 4: as well. It's your only as good as the last 147 00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:38,720 Speaker 4: podcast chat, the last project, you know, the last touchdown, 148 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:42,160 Speaker 4: whatever it is in your life right which builds your reputation, 149 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,920 Speaker 4: and my reputation quickly built. I was responsible for launching 150 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 4: some of the biggest brands in the world and actually 151 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,839 Speaker 4: probably some of the most successful launchers in the world, 152 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 4: for brands like Zara. You know, I launched Zara in 153 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,600 Speaker 4: to Australia and it's often written about one of the 154 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 4: most successful retail case studies in the world. We had 155 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 4: twenty two thousand people turn up in Sydney, Australia. Yeah, 156 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:07,719 Speaker 4: a million dollars inside. Unbelievable in won day, won day, 157 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 4: in one day. 158 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 3: Unbelievable. 159 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 4: It was unbelievable. And you know, I remember sitting there 160 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 4: with Harzuu Sekavira, who at that point in time was 161 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,119 Speaker 4: the most powerful man in retail, and he just said, 162 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:22,080 Speaker 4: you know, look around you, soak this in. It's not 163 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,680 Speaker 4: about us, It's not about the brand. It's about the people. 164 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 4: And I really feel that when you understand that life 165 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 4: is not about you as a leader, that you are 166 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,440 Speaker 4: just the conduit and you're there to help other people, 167 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 4: the magic happens. And literally after that launch, I worked 168 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 4: with every top brand, celebrity influencer in the world. I 169 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 4: build a staff of twenty two. But then, you know, 170 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 4: along the highway of life, you learn what lights you 171 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:49,920 Speaker 4: up and what doesn't, and when to shift gears, and 172 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 4: when your passion wanes, you learn to dig deep inside 173 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 4: you and go, well, what's next for me? And so ironically, 174 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 4: the last three brands that we launched into Australia all 175 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:02,880 Speaker 4: billion dollar brand were a Victoria's Secret, Steve Madden and 176 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,000 Speaker 4: Drew Barrymore's Flower Beauty and I never had a photo 177 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 4: with a celebrity in my life. In fact, I don't 178 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 4: even think I've had a photo with you, Jay. I 179 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,200 Speaker 4: just don't do it. It's not my jab. And my 180 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 4: daughter was a teenager at that point and she said, Mom, 181 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:17,800 Speaker 4: I want to meet Drew Barrymore And I said really. 182 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:20,239 Speaker 4: I said, we're just launching, you know, the Flower Beauty 183 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,760 Speaker 4: brand into Australia, got an event at Icebergs and she says, no, 184 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,800 Speaker 4: I want to be involved. I've never been involved in 185 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 4: anything like this. I want a photo, So you know, 186 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 4: I relented, had the day off school, and as soon 187 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 4: as my daughter had the photo with Drew and Drew 188 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 4: said come into the photo, I knew my career was over. 189 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:39,040 Speaker 4: So that was twenty nineteen. And Drew taught me a 190 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,640 Speaker 4: lot of things during our time together out here, because 191 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:46,079 Speaker 4: she kept talking about owning the power of your story, 192 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:50,200 Speaker 4: owning your truth, and in those twenty years building my brand, 193 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:54,160 Speaker 4: I hadn't actually stepped forward and owned my truth. And 194 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 4: what she spoke about gave me permission to actually step forward. 195 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,079 Speaker 4: And the perception that people had of me as this 196 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:06,439 Speaker 4: you know, global publicist creating and building brands for others 197 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 4: was a complete opposite to what was going on behind 198 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 4: the scenes. And so career, yeah, like I had to 199 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 4: really I had to take a brave step forward and 200 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,679 Speaker 4: I did. I shared my story with Murray Clare Magazine. 201 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:24,440 Speaker 4: They turned into a three page feature and people were shocked. 202 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:28,400 Speaker 4: They're like, we cannot believe that for twelve years of 203 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 4: your life, you're a single mom, You're being stalked, intimidated, 204 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,760 Speaker 4: your life was threatened, You're in court six to eight 205 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:35,679 Speaker 4: times a year fighting. 206 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 3: I don't want you to first word, you're being stocked 207 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,439 Speaker 3: by who my ex. 208 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 4: Which was my good yeah, my daughters. Yeah, because I 209 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 4: stood up to a bully and said no, I'm not 210 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,000 Speaker 4: going to be treated like that. 211 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 2: When you were hiding it first, right, you hit it first, 212 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 2: and then you came You're the courage to come. 213 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 3: Forward while we were building these big brands. 214 00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, So I feel like everyone has a success 215 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,720 Speaker 4: in survival story that was mine and I always say 216 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:08,320 Speaker 4: that moment when my daughter had her photograph taken and 217 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 4: I jumped into it. It was a pivotal moment because I 218 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,960 Speaker 4: thought to myself, I can and I will do better. 219 00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 4: And so what I did was I used the runway 220 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,600 Speaker 4: of what I had created with Tour Star, which was 221 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 4: my agency and that credibility piece, to really reshape the 222 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:26,840 Speaker 4: way I wanted to leave a legacy in the world, 223 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,560 Speaker 4: the way I wanted to help other people to be 224 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,920 Speaker 4: able to own their truth, for them to be able 225 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:35,960 Speaker 4: to break through judgment patterns and to really step up 226 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 4: and into what they're meant to be doing in this lifetime. 227 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,800 Speaker 4: And so I created powerful steps. I wrote the book 228 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,640 Speaker 4: I Met You, and I'm on the podcast. That's the 229 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:45,360 Speaker 4: short version. 230 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 3: But here's why I want you to realize a couple 231 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 3: of things. I want to unpack your Number One, you said, okay, 232 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:53,120 Speaker 3: we you know successfully through What do you say through suffering? 233 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 3: What was the term you used there? Said, it's my 234 00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:57,079 Speaker 3: successing through a struggle. 235 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 2: Right, not everybody, but not everybody that I don't want 236 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:03,080 Speaker 2: you to just throw it away like it's. 237 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 3: A normal, regular thing. 238 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,800 Speaker 2: I want people here to understand and realize it's a 239 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 2: scary thing to do that when you're struggling, to say 240 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 2: I'm going to step up above it and shine through 241 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,520 Speaker 2: that darkness. It's a scary thing for a lot of people. 242 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:18,080 Speaker 2: So the fact that you did that, don't just throw 243 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 2: that away, Tori. That's a superpower that I wish more 244 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,360 Speaker 2: women would look at and say, Okay, I could do 245 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 2: this as well, And I hope you've led them. 246 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 3: To do that. 247 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,280 Speaker 4: I have because I think if you meet yourself in 248 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,840 Speaker 4: your darkest moment and you're able to recognize how you 249 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:35,280 Speaker 4: got there, but you're also able to ask for help, 250 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,120 Speaker 4: which I think, Look, I'm a woman, and I know 251 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,960 Speaker 4: it's hard for men to ask for help as well. 252 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,600 Speaker 4: It was hard for me to ask for help. I 253 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,720 Speaker 4: was in a leadership role. I had a lot of responsibility, 254 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,880 Speaker 4: but I thought I could do it all on my own, 255 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,200 Speaker 4: and what I recognized was I couldn't. And the moment 256 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,440 Speaker 4: I asked for help was my breakthrough moment because I 257 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:55,800 Speaker 4: was able to navigate the way forward. You know, when 258 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 4: you're had a team which is right and a breakable 259 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, but you were like me right, we're like 260 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,959 Speaker 4: the lone wolves for so many years, you know things 261 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:06,520 Speaker 4: are happening and people don't know. When you go home 262 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,600 Speaker 4: and you're like, what the hell just happened? But you 263 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:13,160 Speaker 4: can't share it with anyone. So I really believe like 264 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,480 Speaker 4: when you get out of your own way and you 265 00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:18,199 Speaker 4: recognize that you have this beautiful, hot mess cord life 266 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,160 Speaker 4: and the lessons that are meant for you are going 267 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 4: to keep coming for you until you learn that there's 268 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:26,800 Speaker 4: a bigger and better world out there for you not 269 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 4: only to step into, but to add value to the 270 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:33,200 Speaker 4: lives of others, because the more we share the power 271 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 4: of how we step through that mess with others, just 272 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 4: like you do on this podcast and on the book, 273 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,480 Speaker 4: it's what it's doing is it's paying for that knowledge 274 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 4: to someone else so they can go you know what 275 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,679 Speaker 4: she went through, that it's okay for me to go 276 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 4: through that, and it's giving yourself permission to go. A 277 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,679 Speaker 4: small step is a powerful step. It doesn't mean that 278 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 4: Rome is building a day, but it does mean that 279 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 4: you get to the light at the end of the 280 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 4: tunnel a lot faster when you acknowledge that you need help. 281 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,160 Speaker 2: Never throw away the courage it took for you to 282 00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:05,440 Speaker 2: Natalie step forward, but put. 283 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 3: It in the public eye. 284 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,960 Speaker 2: It's hard for it, that's scary for a lot of people, 285 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 2: but think how many women you help by doing that. 286 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, you know what when that article came out because 287 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,839 Speaker 4: it took it took my daughter and I four months 288 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 4: because the story also involved her and I really it 289 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 4: was not just my story to tell, it was hers. 290 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,480 Speaker 4: We'd live through it together, and when we made the 291 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:30,560 Speaker 4: decision to do it, it was nerve wracking and I 292 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,640 Speaker 4: waited until Drew was on the plane back to America 293 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 4: and then this story came out, and then the TV 294 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:40,280 Speaker 4: interviews and then everyone was like what But the best 295 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,439 Speaker 4: thing happened. Now. A lot of people, when you come 296 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 4: forward with a story like that, they're afraid to comment publicly, 297 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 4: and what they do is they DM you, they call you, 298 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,200 Speaker 4: and all of those brands that I was afraid would 299 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,080 Speaker 4: judge me actually came out and said how can I 300 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 4: help you? This is really powerful toy, Like how can 301 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:02,520 Speaker 4: we back this movement that you're going to be creating? 302 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,280 Speaker 4: And so what I realized, what is that little black 303 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,559 Speaker 4: rolodex of connections that I had with brands and influences 304 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:12,040 Speaker 4: around the world. It was there for a reason, and 305 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 4: it was there for a reason so that I can 306 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:17,520 Speaker 4: tap into them, ask them for help, and spread the 307 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 4: word that it's okay to talk about who you are. 308 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 4: Now I wouldn't be smiling like this if it was 309 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:28,360 Speaker 4: back in twenty sixteen seventeen. I am now because I 310 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,640 Speaker 4: know who I am and I'm not afraid of judgment. 311 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,480 Speaker 4: So if you're stuck in that hot mess and you 312 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 4: think what are people going to think, it's like, just 313 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,120 Speaker 4: get out of your own way, Like who cares? 314 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 2: What a great lesson for everybody to hear. Just I'm 315 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,160 Speaker 2: really proud of you, Agwa. I'm going to go back 316 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 2: a little bit. Here's the ADHD take it over. How'd 317 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 2: you get twenty two thousand people show up for Zara? 318 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,840 Speaker 4: Oh? Wow? It was insane. So you know, I'm a 319 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:55,200 Speaker 4: bit of a retail junkie and I had this idea 320 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 4: when I was twenty four years old, and if I 321 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,920 Speaker 4: was going to work with the world's top retail brands, 322 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:00,880 Speaker 4: I was going to travel the world and I was 323 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 4: going to go into the stores and I was going 324 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:07,640 Speaker 4: to experience everything firsthand. So when I won that Czara account, ironically, 325 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:09,920 Speaker 4: I was in LA when I got the call there 326 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:13,000 Speaker 4: in Spain and my team was in Australia. I didn't 327 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,920 Speaker 4: tell anyone. I worked three time zones over two weeks, 328 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 4: blew back into Australia, and I just I had this 329 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,560 Speaker 4: passion and this fire, and because in those days, Australians 330 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 4: didn't really go and travel, you know, the way that 331 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,520 Speaker 4: I was able to travel, and so they didn't know 332 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 4: what these big retail fast fashion stores were like. So 333 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,720 Speaker 4: you know, I'm a passionate person. So I go into 334 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 4: these meetings and I, you know, my face a light up. 335 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,440 Speaker 4: I've experienced this in Paris, in Rome, in Dubai, and 336 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:44,720 Speaker 4: you know, that infectious energy that I had actually passed 337 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 4: on to the media. So when they were writing about it, 338 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,960 Speaker 4: there was this real passion and buzz about you've got 339 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 4: to fly in, you've got to show up, and you know, 340 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 4: I don't really think that anyone expected twenty two thousand 341 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 4: people there on the day of launch, but it was 342 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 4: just extraordinary to be involved in a brand that when 343 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,880 Speaker 4: I had ideas, they said no to, but I found 344 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,760 Speaker 4: a way to navigate. So it's there's a very famous 345 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:13,520 Speaker 4: story online about how no one was allowed into the 346 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:18,400 Speaker 4: actual factories and warehouses in Spain that Zara had built. 347 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 4: And I worked with one of my friends who worked 348 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:24,320 Speaker 4: in media, and she said, surely we can be the 349 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:28,040 Speaker 4: first women in the world to gain access and show 350 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 4: everyone how these fast, you know brands are moving. And 351 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,440 Speaker 4: I said, when they said no, but I feel yes, 352 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,760 Speaker 4: there is a way in which they will say yes. 353 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,680 Speaker 4: And so I write about it in the book. And 354 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 4: we were the first ever country to gain access behind 355 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 4: the scenes from Zara and so it's very old footage 356 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,240 Speaker 4: online now, but they used to you know, bike rush 357 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 4: around to fulfill the orders. And you know, I think 358 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,840 Speaker 4: having access to all of that footage as well, and 359 00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:00,320 Speaker 4: for the Australians to see just how these clothes were 360 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,320 Speaker 4: coming into our market and the passion behind the scenes, 361 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,480 Speaker 4: it all just added to the buzz. And so there 362 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,199 Speaker 4: are people were flying in all around the world. We 363 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:12,320 Speaker 4: had you know, TV crews from America, Asia, Europe there. 364 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 4: But the valuable lesson was this, because there were so 365 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:20,760 Speaker 4: many customers. I'd say to Hazoos, CNBC wants to interview you. 366 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:25,359 Speaker 4: He would be sweating up a storm where the customers 367 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:29,159 Speaker 4: were buying the goods, packing the bags and ringing up 368 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,640 Speaker 4: the tills and he'd stay to me, Tory, they've got 369 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,320 Speaker 4: to wait, They've got to wait. They've got to wait. 370 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,000 Speaker 4: And I said, really, and he goes, just look at 371 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,919 Speaker 4: the magic that we're creating. We don't need the media 372 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,520 Speaker 4: to do an interview with me right now. We need 373 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,240 Speaker 4: to put the customers first. We need to serve them 374 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,040 Speaker 4: because that's what the media is going to talk about 375 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,919 Speaker 4: for years to come. And it was absolutely right, so 376 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,440 Speaker 4: truly yeah. 377 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, but you also kind of let you kind of 378 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,879 Speaker 2: built it up, built off the foe mall, like you 379 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,400 Speaker 2: had to be there, right, the fear of missing out. 380 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,439 Speaker 2: You had to be at something like this, which is 381 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:01,560 Speaker 2: just brilliant on your own. 382 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,359 Speaker 4: Yeah, it was really good. And look, I was always 383 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 4: the girl that was in black and wearing you know, 384 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:08,159 Speaker 4: black claver pants and all the rest of it to 385 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,639 Speaker 4: the launchers, and they said to me, you got to 386 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,800 Speaker 4: wear a hot pink skirt. Don't wear a hot pink 387 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:16,480 Speaker 4: skirt anyway. I woant his skirt and I wore it 388 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,600 Speaker 4: to all of my media interviews when we're promoting the brand, 389 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,680 Speaker 4: and people were like, if this brand got you out 390 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,440 Speaker 4: of your pants into a skirt, it's worth writing about. 391 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 3: Wow. 392 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,920 Speaker 4: It's also the power of the brand and when you 393 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:33,479 Speaker 4: really connected to other people and you believe in the 394 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:37,600 Speaker 4: passionate way that they're creating and building impact for others. 395 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,119 Speaker 4: That's where you actually get the biggest bounce. And so 396 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,480 Speaker 4: now you know all of that knowledge that I've got 397 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,840 Speaker 4: working for all of these incredible brands, I now invest 398 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:50,480 Speaker 4: in people and I love seeing them becoming their own 399 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:51,840 Speaker 4: success story as well. 400 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,280 Speaker 3: All right, so let's talk about your book here. Self 401 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,040 Speaker 3: belief is your superpower, unleash your life, purpose, own your 402 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 3: power of becoming magnet for America. Here, what's the biggest 403 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:04,520 Speaker 3: takeaways from your book? Why people need to go on 404 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:05,160 Speaker 3: by this book. 405 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, we've had some incredible feedback day, and I guess 406 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:12,600 Speaker 4: you know, everyone has really been touched by the authenticity 407 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:16,680 Speaker 4: and the framework of not only how when you step 408 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:20,400 Speaker 4: into your power the possibilities are there. But I think 409 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,199 Speaker 4: the biggest takeaway and this is something that I was 410 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:26,280 Speaker 4: taught after a new death experience a decade ago by 411 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,960 Speaker 4: a surgeon. He said to me, Torry, life is never 412 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,439 Speaker 4: going to get better unless you find happiness, and he 413 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 4: gave me this mantra, A happy heart is a magnet 414 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,399 Speaker 4: for miracles. And I talk about it in the book 415 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:41,199 Speaker 4: because as I started stripping out what no longer served 416 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 4: me like toxic people, toxic clients, toxic family, toxic friends, 417 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,439 Speaker 4: all of a sudden, I started creating the space to 418 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,359 Speaker 4: see the possibilities that were ahead of me. And the 419 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:56,840 Speaker 4: happier I became, the high my vibration raised, and the 420 00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 4: high my vibration raised, the bigger the opportunities that can 421 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,840 Speaker 4: into my life. And so it's not to say that 422 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 4: the opportunities in you know, the first twenty years of 423 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,040 Speaker 4: my life weren't amazing. They were absolutely incredible. I'm so 424 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 4: grateful for them. But since I started investing in happiness, 425 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:16,239 Speaker 4: the opportunities just became more expansive. And you know, I 426 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,720 Speaker 4: was finally able to attract the love of my life, 427 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:22,080 Speaker 4: my soul, mad get my daughter into a really good position, 428 00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:25,919 Speaker 4: and build another successful business. And so the book is 429 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 4: all about sharing what that journey was like, but also 430 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,240 Speaker 4: tapping into stories the people that I've met along the 431 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,399 Speaker 4: highway of life, Like you shared your beautiful story. You know, 432 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:38,720 Speaker 4: there are so many people that just everyday people that 433 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 4: I interviewed, but also a lot of high profile people 434 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,840 Speaker 4: around the world that were willing to say, this was 435 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,600 Speaker 4: my game changing moment, This was how I had to 436 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,280 Speaker 4: own who I was, This is how I needed to 437 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,560 Speaker 4: get out of my own way. And I think by 438 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,960 Speaker 4: tapping into the power of other people's stories, it shows 439 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,880 Speaker 4: you the possibilities. And it all comes back to self belief, 440 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 4: because self belief is it's a free tool. You don't 441 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 4: need to pay anyone for that. You just need to 442 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:04,280 Speaker 4: tap into an internally. 443 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,640 Speaker 2: That decision to be happy an overnight decision. We're like, hey, 444 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 2: because look, it only takes second to choose a new 445 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:16,680 Speaker 2: path to choose happiness. Some people could do that. Some 446 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,800 Speaker 2: people it takes over and over and over and over. 447 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,359 Speaker 2: Was yours instantaneous? Was yours over a period of time. 448 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,320 Speaker 4: It was over a period of time. But this is 449 00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:25,920 Speaker 4: the best story that I can share. And it was 450 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:29,320 Speaker 4: from a Buddhist monk in Thailand and he said to me, Tory, 451 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 4: you're sitting in a pretty big challenge and I said 452 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,320 Speaker 4: I am, and he goes, I want you to imagine 453 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,320 Speaker 4: that you're in that challenge and it's a big bag 454 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,399 Speaker 4: of shit and it's like absolutely stinks, and you're like 455 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,600 Speaker 4: wallowing in it. And he said, you got three choices, 456 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,440 Speaker 4: and I was like, what are those choices? He said, 457 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:48,200 Speaker 4: you're at the halfway mark of your life. You can 458 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,439 Speaker 4: smell and sniff that ship for forty five years. If 459 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,400 Speaker 4: you want, that's your choice. And I said, well, that's 460 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,400 Speaker 4: not my choice. What's the next choice? And he said 461 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,960 Speaker 4: forty five minutes. And I have to say, when I 462 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,520 Speaker 4: came back from Thailand to off that trip, I would 463 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,359 Speaker 4: look at challenges and go, God, oh, get out of 464 00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 4: my own way forty five minutes boom. Or the third choice, 465 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,880 Speaker 4: which is what I do now, is like forty five seconds. 466 00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:11,199 Speaker 4: You find a solution to the challenge and you just 467 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,760 Speaker 4: move forward. And that's why my life is so in alignment. 468 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,800 Speaker 4: So really the biggest takeaway is get out of your 469 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,080 Speaker 4: own way and switch you thinking and find a solution 470 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,160 Speaker 4: to the challenge in forty five seconds. 471 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:24,960 Speaker 3: Give me another one of your favorite lesson on this book. 472 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:26,960 Speaker 3: If you're going to say somebody else like you just 473 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,200 Speaker 3: told this this, oh like one last thing for you, You've 474 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,800 Speaker 3: got to hear this. What would it be? 475 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,760 Speaker 4: Never give up? So I'm going to I'm going to 476 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,600 Speaker 4: liken it to a dating story because I know a 477 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:38,119 Speaker 4: lot to see. 478 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,680 Speaker 3: You clear and give up. That's apliche. 479 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,880 Speaker 4: O got no, but this is a really good one. 480 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 4: I talk about it. I think it's in chapter two. 481 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,320 Speaker 4: So for twelve years of my life because I had 482 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:50,240 Speaker 4: a crazy X. I couldn't date right. I was just 483 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,679 Speaker 4: I was like treading water, running a business, you know, 484 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 4: leading two lives. It was crazy. So in twenty seventeen, 485 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 4: I won full custody and a restaurant around, you know, 486 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,879 Speaker 4: protecting my daughter and I, and all of a sudden, 487 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 4: there was like freedom, and I was thinking, gosh, now 488 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,760 Speaker 4: I can date. What's that going to look like. So 489 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,080 Speaker 4: we're at Lax, my daughter and I, and we got 490 00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:19,359 Speaker 4: onto bumble because everyone's like tory date like moved online. 491 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 4: I thought, you just picked up people in bars. This 492 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,240 Speaker 4: is like life has moved on. And so I was 493 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,639 Speaker 4: sitting at Lax and so I said, well, I'm going 494 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,679 Speaker 4: to put three photos of myself and I'm going to 495 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,280 Speaker 4: be from the last month because I've got to show 496 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:33,160 Speaker 4: up authentically, and I'm just going to do one thing, 497 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:38,359 Speaker 4: global global traveler, mama of one business owner, three words. 498 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,800 Speaker 4: That's it. Nothing else. Let's see what happens. I get 499 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,720 Speaker 4: back to Australia, I'm getting all these hits and these 500 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,120 Speaker 4: really hot guys. I'm thinking this is amazing, but then 501 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:49,400 Speaker 4: the eighteen thousand miles away and I'm thinking I can't 502 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,880 Speaker 4: date them. I'm not back in America for another eight weeks. 503 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,119 Speaker 4: So I had to get out of my comfort zone. 504 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 4: And my daughter said to me, Mom, when we get 505 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,000 Speaker 4: to Sydney, because we land in Melbourne, we had a 506 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 4: connecting flight. When we get to Sydney. You know that 507 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 4: movie How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days with 508 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,560 Speaker 4: Matthew mcconachie. She couldn't gonna switch it, and it's going 509 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,680 Speaker 4: to be how to Win a Guy in five Dates, 510 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,720 Speaker 4: because you don't have time to wait ten days. I 511 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,159 Speaker 4: went to school and don't want to be on the 512 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 4: ride of life with you. So literally, I dated five 513 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 4: guys in six days because I needed one day off 514 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:22,320 Speaker 4: because it was a little bit hectic. I learned so 515 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,440 Speaker 4: much about myself on those five dates, and I write 516 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,919 Speaker 4: about it in the book because every single time you 517 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:32,439 Speaker 4: put yourself in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, you 518 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:35,240 Speaker 4: learn what you want and what you don't want. And 519 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 4: so while those five dates and I did end up 520 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,199 Speaker 4: dating one of the guys didn't turn out because I 521 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:43,680 Speaker 4: thought I can accept moving forward with someone where it's 522 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,639 Speaker 4: like seventy percent of what I want, which is not 523 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,880 Speaker 4: I'm not the person to settle right I could accept 524 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,680 Speaker 4: that or I could go no, I'm going to start again, 525 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,680 Speaker 4: And so I swiped right again. I put the five 526 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,800 Speaker 4: guys into the system and the first date was my 527 00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 4: now husband. 528 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:01,119 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I don't know I had that for 529 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:02,399 Speaker 2: you guys that I had no idea. 530 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:04,040 Speaker 4: You had to go for it. 531 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:05,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, like you can't hit. 532 00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:07,720 Speaker 2: A home run, You can't hit a home run without 533 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,320 Speaker 2: swinging the bat. You can't stick a bucket without actually 534 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,600 Speaker 2: making the shot right trying to. 535 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:13,160 Speaker 3: That's fantastic. 536 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 2: Before I let you go, I asked this hip all 537 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 2: my guests, and you've already kind of answered a couple 538 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,760 Speaker 2: of these moments. But I mean, you can go back 539 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,880 Speaker 2: to it also if you want, Well, what is your 540 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 2: unbreakable moment at the moment that really should have broken 541 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,720 Speaker 2: you and didn't, and as a result, you came through 542 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,720 Speaker 2: the other side of that tunnel stronger for the rest 543 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 2: of your life. 544 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,680 Speaker 4: So I was the ultimate people pleaser ultimate. I'd put 545 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 4: everyone first to myself last on the least. And I 546 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,280 Speaker 4: was due on a flight to London and seventy two 547 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:47,240 Speaker 4: hours before I left, my pandis first and unfortunately I 548 00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:51,480 Speaker 4: was in my house and alone, and my daughter had 549 00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,720 Speaker 4: changed the code on my phone. Because she was quite 550 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,440 Speaker 4: young at the time, I couldn't call for help nothing. 551 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,720 Speaker 4: I had to wait for someone to call me. Rushed 552 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,840 Speaker 4: to emergency at two am in the morning. I had 553 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,800 Speaker 4: set to see me up. Wow and yeah. So I 554 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,800 Speaker 4: was under for I think it was almost close to 555 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 4: six hours and put on life support, lost eight kilos 556 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 4: in five days, woke up and it changed my life, 557 00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:24,200 Speaker 4: like it literally changed my life because I realized when 558 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,480 Speaker 4: I was going in for that surgery, the surgeon asked me, 559 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:28,879 Speaker 4: he goes, you know, you have time to go to 560 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:32,480 Speaker 4: the bathroom whatever. And I remember, you know, just putting 561 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,359 Speaker 4: my hands on the sink in the hospital bathroom because 562 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:37,359 Speaker 4: he asked me, who's your next of kin? And if 563 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:42,280 Speaker 4: you don't make it, what's the plan? And I was like, whoa, 564 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,240 Speaker 4: you know, because I didn't have a willing place, I 565 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:48,040 Speaker 4: had nothing. My daughter was my everything. I was a 566 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,879 Speaker 4: single mom. I was like the sole provider who was 567 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:54,919 Speaker 4: going to look after her. And I remember before lights 568 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:58,760 Speaker 4: go out, when you're on that slab in the operating thing, 569 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:02,639 Speaker 4: and I remember, you know, it was shown so clearly 570 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,240 Speaker 4: to me, You've got a choice. You can either walk 571 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,639 Speaker 4: through that tunnel to the other side and never come back, 572 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,399 Speaker 4: or you can come back, and you're going to make 573 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,320 Speaker 4: massive changes in your life. And so I chose in 574 00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:15,480 Speaker 4: that moment that I was going to survive what was 575 00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:17,879 Speaker 4: going on. They said it was going to be a 576 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,000 Speaker 4: six month recovery, but in actual fact it was three 577 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,639 Speaker 4: to four years because my body just did not like 578 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:27,680 Speaker 4: it didn't respond. And what that taught me was that 579 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:32,800 Speaker 4: I had so many takers in my life and I 580 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:36,520 Speaker 4: had to remove them all, and one by one I 581 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:40,040 Speaker 4: did that, and I liken it to this card that 582 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,680 Speaker 4: I was given by that same Buddhist monk who told 583 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,520 Speaker 4: me about the bag of shit. He picked one card 584 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,240 Speaker 4: and he goes, this is you. You are the warrior Princess. 585 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:51,719 Speaker 4: It's going to break through. And I was like, what 586 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 4: does that mean because there were all these shackles coming 587 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,040 Speaker 4: off all of the body and the picture like this, 588 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,320 Speaker 4: and he said, you're going to start saying no to 589 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:00,680 Speaker 4: people and you're going to reclaim your power and you 590 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,040 Speaker 4: have a powerful message to share with the world, and 591 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:05,960 Speaker 4: that is what you're stepping into. And I will never 592 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:10,560 Speaker 4: forget that. So that from something that could have, you know, 593 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:15,359 Speaker 4: seen me late the world I ended up becoming a 594 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:19,720 Speaker 4: lot stronger and more powerful within myself. And now my 595 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:23,520 Speaker 4: life has just done such a three sixty that you know. 596 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,720 Speaker 4: That's why I've got that happy heart. That's how I 597 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,440 Speaker 4: attracted my soulmate. That's how I was able to walk 598 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,840 Speaker 4: away from a successful career. That's how I'm able now 599 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:35,360 Speaker 4: to teach other people because I have been that person. 600 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,200 Speaker 4: You know, I've burnt to the ground, but I've also 601 00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:42,480 Speaker 4: risen like that phoenix because I believed that I could you. 602 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,320 Speaker 3: Truly show that you're unbreakable. Hence the dame of the 603 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:46,840 Speaker 3: podcast and the book. 604 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 4: Thank you so much, Jack, Thank you so much. 605 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:51,320 Speaker 3: For walking this walk with us. Love it. 606 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,920 Speaker 2: I am so proud and excited to be on this 607 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:56,960 Speaker 2: journey with you. Could be more proud to call you 608 00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 2: my friend and my sister. 609 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:02,160 Speaker 4: Oh that's so beautiful. Thank you for welcoming you mean 610 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:06,200 Speaker 4: well and I just can't wait to create more magic 611 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:06,520 Speaker 4: with you. 612 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:11,680 Speaker 2: Very Archibal again. Self belief is your superpower. Unleash your life, purpose, 613 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:12,720 Speaker 2: own your power. 614 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:16,560 Speaker 3: Become a magnet for miracles, leavatory love. 615 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:16,960 Speaker 4: E Chan