Speaker 1: And we're back. We're back, We're back, We're back. Hey Mandy,
Speaker 1: how are you?
Speaker 2: Hey, mis Tiffany.
Speaker 3: We are doing a very special midweek recording of Brown Ambition.
Speaker 1: But we both have something in common. We've got something
Speaker 1: in comment. I heard you won an award. Well, I
Speaker 1: saw the picture. First of all. Let me say that
Speaker 1: your hair was everything and that dress was really cute.
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you very much, Hey TJ Max thirteen.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my good Mandy Snatch.
Speaker 3: Thank you. You know it's funny, so thank you so much. Yes,
Speaker 3: I was awarded by the National Association of Black Journalists
Speaker 3: in New York for Best Online Investigative.
Speaker 2: Story for a story I wrote last year.
Speaker 3: About students who were cheated by the Corinthian College Corinthian
Speaker 3: College for Profit scandal, so really exciting. That story took
Speaker 3: me like probably two months, and I thought I many
Speaker 3: times like drank myself into a stupor because I was
Speaker 3: so stressed at it was a hard story. But it's
Speaker 3: really nice a year later to get that recognition, especially
Speaker 3: from NABJ, because they've been my faan for a decade.
Speaker 3: Ever since I set foot on my college campus. I
Speaker 3: went straight to NABJ as signed Up.
Speaker 2: Started out as a treasurer work my way Up.
Speaker 3: I was president by my junior year, and it's such
Speaker 3: an amazing professional organization, really supportive of more inclusiveness and
Speaker 3: media and it couldn't be more important what NABJ does
Speaker 3: than times like now with what's happening in the news.
Speaker 3: So it was a really nice night. And thank you
Speaker 3: for mentioning my hair. Because guess who I ran into.
Speaker 3: Oh Miss Jesse herself. Well not Miss Jesse herself, the
Speaker 3: founder of Miss Jesse, Miko Branch was there because she
Speaker 3: was sponsoring the goodie bag, So you know I had
Speaker 3: a couple goodie bags with her.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, you know what, these days, I don't
Speaker 1: know what put on my locks, but that's awfo. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tell you Miss Jessee story later.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, she handed me.
Speaker 3: Of course, she's you know, you know, black women, we
Speaker 3: are all about the branding. She literally pulled a book
Speaker 3: out of her purse and was like.
Speaker 2: Here's my latest book.
Speaker 1: I can't but I can't because that is so me.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, so you want to buy the bracelet
Speaker 1: or nah? She was.
Speaker 2: She was really sweet.
Speaker 3: I met her through her her one of her sort
Speaker 3: of publicists. His name is Patrick, and he's just like, oh,
Speaker 3: I mean, Patrick's one of these characters who you just
Speaker 3: feel like you want them to tell you stories all
Speaker 3: day long. He hosts like a karaoke night in Harlem
Speaker 3: like every weekend. He's just he's just one of those
Speaker 3: people who knows everybody. So thank you, Patrick, if you're listening,
Speaker 3: for introducing us to miss Miko Branch and we might
Speaker 3: try and get her on the show.
Speaker 2: It may or may not be happening, but yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: It was lucky that my hair looked okay because there
Speaker 3: she was in the flesh right.
Speaker 1: It's like dentists. I'm like, I'm not looking at your teeth,
Speaker 1: they are looking at your teeth.
Speaker 2: I have to tell you though.
Speaker 3: I started reading her book and then I tried her
Speaker 3: products from the goodie bag last night in my hair.
Speaker 3: And I have tried every like all of the shelf
Speaker 3: products except for like miss Jessie' because she tends to
Speaker 3: be more expensive.
Speaker 2: So I get the Shay and the Carol's Daughter and
Speaker 2: what else. Have I tried everything, but I haven't tried
Speaker 2: miss Jessee stuff. I love it.
Speaker 1: I don't know what I can't.
Speaker 2: Tell you what it's called. It's some kind of curling meringue.
Speaker 3: It all sounds like dessert, but it was, yeah, like
Speaker 3: I put it in my curls, and you know, I'm like,
Speaker 3: I'm two years into this transition and I'm struggling to
Speaker 3: get Some parts of my hair want to be curly
Speaker 3: and some parts are like you've been beating us with
Speaker 3: a flat iron for thirty years, so we are gonna
Speaker 3: stay straight.
Speaker 2: And yeah, like it really defined all my curls.
Speaker 3: So here's an unofficial plug for whatever Miss Jelli miss
Speaker 3: Jessie is selling, because uh, it's good stuff.
Speaker 1: So I have my own wind. This week, I too,
Speaker 1: was honored by some brown folks, the National Association of
Speaker 1: Black Accountants NABA hey neba. So it was really dope
Speaker 1: because my dad is an accountant, and you know, I
Speaker 1: teach money stuff. So they gave me the Entrepreneur Award,
Speaker 1: New Jersey's Finest Entrepreneur. I don't know about all that,
Speaker 1: but I'll take it.
Speaker 2: In what context?
Speaker 1: Do they mean?
Speaker 2: Fine?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Just me look like fine?
Speaker 1: It's such an interesting.
Speaker 2: Description for an award.
Speaker 1: It is, and I thought that was weird. I mean, no,
Speaker 1: no shape, nap I'm totally excited. But I did was like,
Speaker 1: I mean, al, I'll take it. The got to celebrate themselves.
Speaker 2: You gotta put that on your brand now in New
Speaker 2: Jersey's finest I know, no, but.
Speaker 1: Really the award was for they're looking for small businesses
Speaker 1: that you know, not only make a profit, but that
Speaker 1: are shifting and changing the community for better. So I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, that's me, that's me. So it was
Speaker 1: really great because it was just a room. It was
Speaker 1: a Newark where I lived, so that was really nice.
Speaker 1: And my sister came, so that was really nice as well.
Speaker 1: I invited her because you know, Superman is tired of
Speaker 1: going to these awards where he just sits and says, oh, hi, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm Superman, so so she came. So honestly, it was
Speaker 1: a really nice night and she dressed me as per usual.
Speaker 2: She's like, beautiful, I love that dress.
Speaker 1: Thank you, JC Panny, Honey. I think it was like
Speaker 1: twenty bucks who jaz Benny. Yes, I know, and honestly,
Speaker 1: I was no shade JC Penny, but let's be real,
Speaker 1: you were not really known for being fashionable. But she
Speaker 1: took me to buy clothes like earlier in the summer
Speaker 1: and we saw this dress and she's like, you should
Speaker 1: get it, and I was like, but I don't have
Speaker 1: any place to wear it. She said, A place will appear,
Speaker 1: And so I'm glad I bought it because yesterday I
Speaker 1: didn't know what I was gonna wear. And I looked
Speaker 1: into my closet and there was with a tax till
Speaker 1: on it, and so there I was twenty dollars fly em.
Speaker 3: That's like, that's the universe at work right there. Yeah,
Speaker 3: don't don't use that if you're budgeting. Don't use that
Speaker 3: excuse for everything. If I buy this, buy it, If
Speaker 3: I buy this boat, the money to pay for it
Speaker 3: will appear.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, it was. It was a really great night.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so to look at us two awards, nice.
Speaker 3: To be recognized, and I was, were you did you
Speaker 3: have to give a little speech when you won?
Speaker 1: I did, and so like I just I just talked
Speaker 1: about how an accountain changed my life my father, and
Speaker 1: how what they're doing matters, and how it changes the
Speaker 1: lives of people who are around them, and you just
Speaker 1: never know who you're going to touch and who they're
Speaker 1: going to touch. As a result, leave.
Speaker 2: It to you to make accounting and make me want
Speaker 2: to tear up.
Speaker 1: You. I was good. I was like, you can't get
Speaker 1: at this stuff. I was like you.
Speaker 3: Now, yeah, I didn't realize I wasn't have to give
Speaker 3: a speech and they were honoring so many amazing journalists.
Speaker 3: Raheema Ellis from NBC won the Lifetime Achievement Award that night.
Speaker 3: She's one of those reporters and anchors who you see
Speaker 3: all the time, but she's like the like the backbone
Speaker 3: of some of those NBC News reports and like on her.
Speaker 3: They did a really nice package for her and NBC
Speaker 3: produced and they had Lester Hold Tom Brokaw talking about
Speaker 3: Raheema Ellison.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: What was crazy though?
Speaker 3: When when she got up to the stage she was
Speaker 3: accepting a Lifetime Achievement of ward. This woman looks like
Speaker 3: she is thirty two maybe maybe thirty two, maybe thirty five,
Speaker 3: like a very wise thirty five. It's just so she
Speaker 3: looks so beautiful, so young, and she was like, just
Speaker 3: so you know, I'm not done yet.
Speaker 2: It was it was a really nice speech. It was
Speaker 2: hard to follow.
Speaker 1: It was so there was a woman there who was
Speaker 1: being honored. I said, only black women. Her name is Natasha.
Speaker 1: Was it Rogers, so her bio read like one. Natasha
Speaker 1: Rogers is a engineer, lawyer, has her NBA worked at
Speaker 1: Goldman's Facts. Mandy, I was like, it's almost like four
Speaker 1: people in one and she's thirty five years old, and
Speaker 1: I'm looking at her like, how houseway? How do you
Speaker 1: MEI was born and raised in the projects of Newark,
Speaker 1: and I was and I asked her how she was like, honestly,
Speaker 1: I was singularly focused on not being broken.
Speaker 2: Hmm.
Speaker 1: The first the first in her in her family to
Speaker 1: go to college. And she just said, growing up the
Speaker 1: way group was so traumatizing that I honestly was like,
Speaker 1: I will not come back. I will not I will
Speaker 1: not come back here. That I have to do better.
Speaker 1: So she said it just motivated her and that she
Speaker 1: wasn't like like collecting degrees for the sake of collecting them.
Speaker 1: She said that when she wanted to achieve a different goal,
Speaker 1: they would tell her where you need that, and she
Speaker 1: would just go get it.
Speaker 3: I feel like you just describe what brown ambition is
Speaker 3: all about for real. Honestly, that's a band ambition moment
Speaker 3: right there.
Speaker 1: Yes, she and when you meet her, Manny just so like, oh, Hey,
Speaker 1: what's up? Like just you you clearly she's brilliant. I mean,
Speaker 1: you don't have an engineering law and an MBA from
Speaker 1: like some of the top schools and just be like
Speaker 1: some like regular everyday thinking person. She's clearly brilliant, but
Speaker 1: so down to earth. It's so nice. And she was
Speaker 1: honestly like, I'm not gonna lie. At thirty five, I'm
Speaker 1: finally coming up for air. So like, what's going on, Like,
Speaker 1: what's happening on here in the world?
Speaker 2: Brandolina still together.
Speaker 1: She was like, Kylee, She's like, Jackson is pregnant.
Speaker 2: We may be going to Mars.
Speaker 3: Did you see the pleasures of Janet with their baby?
Speaker 1: And so I told her, I was like, I took
Speaker 1: her number. I was like, don't worry, girl, We're gonna
Speaker 1: get you. We're gonna get you socialized. But we had
Speaker 1: such a great conversation about like you know, like just
Speaker 1: about life and relationships and just like you know, achievement,
Speaker 1: and it was just such a really good conversation. And
Speaker 1: I just thought to myself, this is what I wish
Speaker 1: more people could see. It's just women like her who
Speaker 1: don't necessarily you're not going to see her in the
Speaker 1: news or whatever necessarily, but she's amazing, you know, go ahead,
Speaker 1: what was her name and was you know, I'm like
Speaker 1: the worst like me find.
Speaker 2: Her miss gold Go ahead and miss Golden Golden sex.
Speaker 1: I remember her. Her first name was the Pasha and
Speaker 1: her Yeah.
Speaker 2: That's okay, I need to put her on blast like that.
Speaker 2: I just want to say, hi, miss.
Speaker 3: Natasha, thank you for carrying the Brown Ambition flag.
Speaker 1: Yes, and being for being amazing and for she said
Speaker 1: no matter where she goes, she represents for new work
Speaker 1: and she wants to show that they're you know, there
Speaker 1: is good here, you know, because you know how people
Speaker 1: are out a certain cities.
Speaker 2: You know, we should share more.
Speaker 3: We have some amazing listeners out there, don't I don't
Speaker 3: know if missus Natasha is a listener, but if you
Speaker 3: guys have little inspirational stories, I mean, feel free to
Speaker 3: go to Brian Ambition dot com Brianambition podcast dot com
Speaker 3: and you can just send us your story through to
Speaker 3: ask us anything for It's super easy.
Speaker 2: Just fill out your question.
Speaker 3: And put your email and by being by the boom,
Speaker 3: you were in our inbox.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because we'd love to hear about like people that
Speaker 1: represent Brown Ambition to you just because it's it's always
Speaker 1: good to see that, you know, outside of the celebrity
Speaker 1: they are amazing people that you know that we know.
Speaker 1: We'd love to honor them, yes, ma'am.
Speaker 3: And today's show is basically all about you, guys. We
Speaker 3: are finally getting to the questions that we've been putting off,
Speaker 3: so we have a handful of questions today.
Speaker 2: So this show is going.
Speaker 3: To be all about you, your money and career questions,
Speaker 3: and we'd love for you guys to continue sending us
Speaker 3: to those again. You can go to brand Ambition podcast
Speaker 3: dot com, the brand new, fresh looking website that we
Speaker 3: just redesigned. There is a super easy way to send
Speaker 3: us questions. It's called to Ask Us Anything Form. Just
Speaker 3: go there, submit your question and you might hear it
Speaker 3: on the show. But before we get to questions, I
Speaker 3: got to hear about fin Con.
Speaker 1: So finn Con was it was all different in this way,
Speaker 1: so you know how usually fincn's like four or five
Speaker 1: hundred of your closest financial friends.
Speaker 3: Right for people who don't know, describe the FINCN is
Speaker 3: important to me and Tiff because it's where we met
Speaker 3: in person.
Speaker 1: Ye fIF God is a finance It started off as
Speaker 1: a financial bloggers conference, but it's since grown to a
Speaker 1: financial content conference. So you get bloggers, writers, speakers, educators,
Speaker 1: all things money and finance. They kind of gather here
Speaker 1: once a year and it's all around the country. Pet
Speaker 1: who is the founder of finn Con, Philip Taylor, he
Speaker 1: decided this year year he wanted it to be the
Speaker 1: biggest year yet. So typically fin Con is between three
Speaker 1: and five hundred folks, and this year it was almost
Speaker 1: thirteen hundred or about thirty Mandy honestly, So it was like,
Speaker 1: that's exactly how the old folks felt. We were all like, oh,
Speaker 1: because you know, I'm used to going to finn Con
Speaker 1: and knowing not all the faces, but like a good
Speaker 1: chunk of them. Yeah, So you know, this time I
Speaker 1: went and I was like, I don't know you. I
Speaker 1: don't know you. I don't know you. I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't know you or you oh u either. So it
Speaker 1: was I mean, San Diego was beautiful, the location that
Speaker 1: he chose was beautiful. Everything looked great. So it was that,
Speaker 1: I mean I felt both good and not good about
Speaker 1: the amount of people because one there were so many
Speaker 1: more brown people. Oh my gosh, Mandy, it was like
Speaker 1: a plethora of beautiful brown people.
Speaker 2: That's a huge change from last year.
Speaker 1: What we took over, what so many of us went
Speaker 1: Plutus Awards. So Plutus Awards for those of you who
Speaker 1: didn't know, are like the Emmys for financial educators, writers
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. And so I think, like Tanya
Speaker 1: one from my Fat Finance tie in talent from His
Speaker 1: and Her Money. Some other browns one me and Patrise
Speaker 1: hit the main stage. So right before the keynote, they
Speaker 1: had something called the Big Ideas and it was like
Speaker 1: a Tedex style talk. So I went on Friday, Patrice
Speaker 1: went on Saturday. I don't think any brown person has
Speaker 1: ever hit the stage, so they have two. This year
Speaker 1: was like amazing. We were thanks, we were and honestly
Speaker 1: it was so in that respect. They clearly heard our
Speaker 1: grumblings from last year about there being a lack of diversity,
Speaker 1: and this year they really surged forward and had so
Speaker 1: many speakers, so many podcasters, so many people there. Oh,
Speaker 1: I have a picture for you from the podcast movement
Speaker 1: of like they have our picture brighton center and one
Speaker 1: of their on one of their band o word cool.
Speaker 1: I've a picture said to you. I was like, I
Speaker 1: gotta take it, said Bandy. So yeah, it was just
Speaker 1: it was good in that way, and that there were
Speaker 1: way more people like you know, so more way more
Speaker 1: people of color. But it was also I felt like
Speaker 1: I lost touch with some of my old FINCN family. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like I said, I all all fin Con was fun.
Speaker 1: They're having it in Dallas twenty seventeen, which is Pet's hometown. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I've heard a little whisperings that there might be
Speaker 1: some shifting in finn Con. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, like,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm sure he's tired. I don't know. Let
Speaker 1: me not even say, let me not even say.
Speaker 2: Okay, are we breaking news or are we breaking night?
Speaker 2: What's happening here?
Speaker 3: Because you know, brendan ambition and listeners come to hear
Speaker 3: about the latest in Finncon drama. That was exactly what
Speaker 3: they're here for.
Speaker 1: I know, you're like, who what, Let's move on, Okay,
Speaker 1: So yeah that's Fencon news.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, congrats to all them, the powerful pos representing
Speaker 3: fin Cone.
Speaker 1: The browns, and yeah, that part was really great to
Speaker 1: really see, like, wow, so many great brown people here
Speaker 1: doing their dang.
Speaker 2: And we both so you're so today. It's been a September.
Speaker 3: I feel like I don't even know where it went
Speaker 3: or like what all happened. Just so much happened in September.
Speaker 3: But the highlight was that wedding last weekend. These were
Speaker 3: my best friends. And I'll tell you the quick story
Speaker 3: of us. It's a romantic story. So I've never been
Speaker 3: in a I've never I've been in my sister's wedding,
Speaker 3: but it was a very small, intimate wedding. I was
Speaker 3: the only one standing up with her. This was the
Speaker 3: first time I was like a bridesmaid in my best
Speaker 3: friend's wedding. And this is my friend Brian.
Speaker 2: He and I met.
Speaker 3: So to flashback two thousand and five, Hurricane Katrina hit
Speaker 3: the Gulf Coast. I was a freshman in college. I
Speaker 3: was home in my dorm with a nasty cold, and
Speaker 3: I was like flipping through MTV and I saw an
Speaker 3: ad looking for volunteers. They were going to send to
Speaker 3: the Golf Coast to like help rebuild after and they
Speaker 3: were accepting one hundred kids from across the country, two
Speaker 3: from each state, and they were going to go to
Speaker 3: the Gulf Coast Mississippi, Louisiana and help them rebuild.
Speaker 2: And I entered. I don't know what possessed me.
Speaker 3: I entered this contest and they picked me and another
Speaker 3: and like a hundred other kids from around the country
Speaker 3: and we all went. We were all just like babies.
Speaker 3: It was my first time flying on a plane by myself.
Speaker 3: I had never really traveled alone before. I had never
Speaker 3: even gone to like summer camp. I mean I didn't,
Speaker 3: and I was going to spend a week with all
Speaker 3: these strangers, and it ended up being like the single
Speaker 3: most important week of my life, if I can, if
Speaker 3: I'm not even being that dramatic about it, because the
Speaker 3: friends I made there were still friends.
Speaker 2: To this day.
Speaker 3: And Brian was one of the very first people that
Speaker 3: I met in We were in Biloxi, Mississippi, during that week,
Speaker 3: and it was just that week is the reason why
Speaker 3: I became brave enough to travel and travel by myself
Speaker 3: and do more volunteering, and it taught me how to
Speaker 3: be a leader. I kept going back every year and
Speaker 3: came a team leader. I mean, just so impactful, and
Speaker 3: not least of which was because of the friendship. So
Speaker 3: Brian and I met, of course during that trip, and
Speaker 3: then all my other best friends that are now all
Speaker 3: over the country, we all met and now that we're
Speaker 3: all older, it's just it's been ten years and I
Speaker 3: was at the I was, you know, part of Brian's wedding,
Speaker 3: and it just it like hit me when I was
Speaker 3: standing there watching him get married to his wife, Diana,
Speaker 3: who's also become a really good friend of mine, and.
Speaker 2: I was like the biggest baby. It was real embarrassing.
Speaker 3: I was like doing not even a cute cry, like
Speaker 3: the ugly cry, like I had to hide, I had
Speaker 3: to hide behind my bouquet. But it was just, you know,
Speaker 3: it's such a I don't know, I've never been in
Speaker 3: a wedding like that before. It really felt like damn,
Speaker 3: like full circle. Yes, seeing people you love love each
Speaker 3: other and get married, and like all my other friends
Speaker 3: from that trip were there, and I don't know, it
Speaker 3: was it's just it's amazing that we all came this
Speaker 3: far and we could all be together. It was just beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 1: Oh that's really because you're like, you know, it's like
Speaker 1: I was talking to my best friend the other day.
Speaker 1: I saw her like downtown and she had her son,
Speaker 1: and you know, Meanwhile, I've known Drena since middle school
Speaker 1: and so it still has not hit me that she
Speaker 1: has a child, because it's like, you're making that transition
Speaker 1: in your mind that like people that are no longer
Speaker 1: ten can now have kids, like you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like and so like whenever I see her with her son,
Speaker 1: like my mind categorizes it is, Oh, there's Drena with
Speaker 1: this kid, like like not her kid. When then she
Speaker 1: said something like I don't know, like you know, like
Speaker 1: tickle him or whatever. And then it hit me. I'm like, wait, meanwhile,
Speaker 1: the baby is one years old and it's my godson.
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait, Drena, this is your baby. She looked
Speaker 1: at me like what is wrong with you? I was like,
Speaker 1: now it just hit me, like how is this happening?
Speaker 1: How are we appropriating? Because it just seems weird when
Speaker 1: people get married have kids, people that you've known, like
Speaker 1: you know, when you were too young to do those
Speaker 1: things and when it had happens making that transition. It's
Speaker 1: like both emotional, it's cool, it's fun, but yeah it's
Speaker 1: a lot. But so I could totally you.
Speaker 3: Know, it's wild, and Brian was like, yeah, this is
Speaker 3: no secret if you know Brian, I love you, Brian.
Speaker 2: He listens to the show. He was one of our
Speaker 2: early fans.
Speaker 1: He was.
Speaker 2: He was a little bit of a player back in
Speaker 2: the day. It's, you know, in a.
Speaker 3: Little bit of a I'm gonna use a d word,
Speaker 3: a little bit of a douche in some ways, A
Speaker 3: lovable douche, but a douche nonetheless.
Speaker 2: And we had our moments.
Speaker 3: But when I moved to New York City in twenty ten,
Speaker 3: he was one of my first first people I called,
Speaker 3: and he and his cousin Tran God Tran Like they
Speaker 3: lived in the teeny tiniest I mean, they called it
Speaker 3: a two bedroom, but it was like two closets in
Speaker 3: a hallway. And they lived in that teeny tiny apartment.
Speaker 3: And Brian still was like, you can come stay with us.
Speaker 3: We have a little Ikia cot.
Speaker 2: We'll make it work.
Speaker 3: And I stayed there for two weeks, and you know,
Speaker 3: he would That's how that's the asb like, the love
Speaker 3: that we had, and that's our friendship. And I'm just
Speaker 3: really I'm just so happy for them, and.
Speaker 2: It's just and I'm next.
Speaker 3: And that was also tripping me out because now that
Speaker 3: they're done out. It feels like, oh shit, I gotta
Speaker 3: put on a show now, because they did.
Speaker 2: They did it.
Speaker 1: Like it was really pretty. Like there was one picture
Speaker 1: that I thought that you posted. It was like she
Speaker 1: was kind of like far away and I don't know.
Speaker 1: It was just so beautiful. It didn't even look like
Speaker 1: a real person or wedding. It was just beautiful.
Speaker 3: She was a human precious moments all that's what, Yes,
Speaker 3: that is what. Diana was, this goddess who could not
Speaker 3: think she was less of a goddess. I mean she
Speaker 3: she's like so humble, and I'm like, Diana, can you just.
Speaker 2: Stop for a second.
Speaker 3: And just like accept that you are the beauty goddess
Speaker 3: queen that you are right now because literally two hours
Speaker 3: before her wedding she was ziplining and doing kickball and
Speaker 3: playing long games and having a cookout like that was
Speaker 3: the whole weekend was like at camp. They had archery
Speaker 3: and canoeing and all this stuff.
Speaker 2: It was like so of them and just so beautiful. So,
Speaker 2: without further ado.
Speaker 3: I cleaned out the inbox. You guys send them excellent questions.
Speaker 3: I picked out a handful of some of my favorite questions,
Speaker 3: and again, please do not be shy. I send us
Speaker 3: your questions. Go to Brown Ambition Podcast dot com. There's
Speaker 3: a super easy form you can fill out there. We
Speaker 3: love to hear from you guys. And while you're at it,
Speaker 3: like the page, leave us a review on iTunes, you know,
Speaker 3: just say hey, tell a friend, do whatever you gotta do.
Speaker 3: It's it's it helps us so much when you share
Speaker 3: and spread the word about Brown Ambition.
Speaker 2: Anything you want to add.
Speaker 1: To No, I'm just listening because you don't be up.
Speaker 1: Like when it comes to the communication piece, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't remember that the email. But if you go
Speaker 1: to broad Ambition podcast dot.
Speaker 3: Com, that's what we're ever gonna start doing. Just send
Speaker 3: them directly to our Our website is so nice now. It
Speaker 3: has all the information, our social media, our bios, photos.
Speaker 2: Latest episodes.
Speaker 3: It is your go to destination for Brown Ambition news.
Speaker 1: Yeah, everything's right there so that I can remember.
Speaker 2: Yes, good, got it only took us a year.
Speaker 1: But okay, no judgment, no judgment.
Speaker 3: Okay, So here are some questions. Here's our first question.
Speaker 3: Nobody told me not to use their names. I'm using
Speaker 3: the names. I'm sorry, you know, call my lawyer if
Speaker 3: you're upset. So our first name, our first questions from
Speaker 3: someone named Kimoi. I hope I'm pronouncing that right.
Speaker 2: She says, I would really love.
Speaker 3: If you guys can expand on something Tiffany mentioned once
Speaker 3: about how she did a visualization process to make room
Speaker 3: for the men, the man in her life. I'd love
Speaker 3: if you could expand on this and share more tips
Speaker 3: on how I can prepare for the man in my life.
Speaker 3: And then my early thirties and while I don't feel
Speaker 3: the pressure to have kids and I'm not sure if
Speaker 3: I want any, I still want to be married and
Speaker 3: be with the man of my dreams. Thanks in advance, Kimoi.
Speaker 1: So kimeoy. So this is what I did well want.
Speaker 1: I was in my early thirties when I started this.
Speaker 1: I had reached out to a friend of mine, like
Speaker 1: the budgetiesta was starting to take off. But every time
Speaker 1: I came home home to an empty house, I was like, Ugh,
Speaker 1: this sucks. Like I wasn't really dating. I mean, I
Speaker 1: was dating, but he wasn't really a great fit. And
Speaker 1: you know how you date some guys that you know,
Speaker 1: this is not anyone who I'm going to be spending
Speaker 1: the rest of my life with. This is just for now.
Speaker 1: And I was tired of for now because when you
Speaker 1: go home, it's you're still by yourself. And I was
Speaker 1: finally ready because I had not seriously dated anyone since
Speaker 1: my late twenties, and on purpose, because I was building myself.
Speaker 1: So I reached out to a friend who was successful.
Speaker 1: She's married with a child, and I said to her,
Speaker 1: she's an entrepreneur, like how how did you do it?
Speaker 1: Or you know, like, what can I do? Because I
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, everything's going great except for my
Speaker 1: personal life, my love life because family's good, friends were good,
Speaker 1: but my love life was not. And she said, Tiffany,
Speaker 1: how many hours a day do you work on a budgeanisa?
Speaker 1: I said, I don't know, girl, like all hours? And
Speaker 1: she said, how many hours a day do you work
Speaker 1: on your relationship? I'm like, well, there is no relationship.
Speaker 1: What's to work on? She was like, but work on
Speaker 1: like securing like love. I'm like, well, that's not how
Speaker 1: it works. She said, it is in your thirties. She said,
Speaker 1: in your twenties, you know, things can happen a little
Speaker 1: bit more organically. You don't have to necessarily be as intentional,
Speaker 1: you know, because I don't know why. I guess you're
Speaker 1: just like free and open. But she's like, you know,
Speaker 1: if you're at an age where you're wanting someone in
Speaker 1: your life and it's not happening as organically as you'd like,
Speaker 1: you have to put work. If you put a quarter
Speaker 1: of the work toward your love life that you did
Speaker 1: toward the Budgeanisa, you'd have someone. And I was like,
Speaker 1: at first, it felt unnatural, like I'm not trying to
Speaker 1: put work toward it. I want to, you know, walk
Speaker 1: down the street and bump into someone and I dropped
Speaker 1: my pen and he looks into my eyes and we
Speaker 1: fall madly in love. But she was just like, good
Speaker 1: luck with that, and so I thought about it and
Speaker 1: I said okay. So one I realized she said, even
Speaker 1: if if a man were to come into your life now,
Speaker 1: is there even space for him? And that resonated with me.
Speaker 1: I said, you know what, No, there isn't. So first
Speaker 1: thing I did was something it seems like weird and corny,
Speaker 1: but I started creating physical space in my life just
Speaker 1: to be symbolic. So I started like, like I usually
Speaker 1: sleep like wild all over the bed, and I started
Speaker 1: sleeping on one side of the bed because Boo was
Speaker 1: gonna sleep on the other. I actually like pushed like
Speaker 1: some like I opened up some closet space in my closet,
Speaker 1: you know, I opened up some space on my dresser
Speaker 1: just for a simple like just the symbolism for me
Speaker 1: was I'm creating physical space in my space for someone. Usually,
Speaker 1: like anybody who knows me knows I'm kind of like
Speaker 1: a tomboy at heart. I mean, I get dressed up
Speaker 1: to speak, but that is not me. So I usually
Speaker 1: will leave the house looking like who shot Bob and why?
Speaker 1: So I stopped doing that. I was like, no, at
Speaker 1: least you don't have to get dressed up, but at
Speaker 1: least look decent, like if you see someone, you're not
Speaker 1: gonna like avert your eyes because you know you look crazy.
Speaker 1: So and then too leave the house. I am such
Speaker 1: a homebody. And I'm like, she's ativity the man that
Speaker 1: you're gonna marry is not gonna knock on your door,
Speaker 1: you know, likely anyway, not likely. So I like actually
Speaker 1: started like leaving because I never if I wasn't doing
Speaker 1: budget theese stuff, I would never leave the house. And
Speaker 1: she was like, no, make it a point, like instead
Speaker 1: of doing work, at home, walk to the cafe in
Speaker 1: a cute dress and do something there. So I started
Speaker 1: doing those things, and I also started doing what I
Speaker 1: call mirror work, where I used to look in the
Speaker 1: mirror every day and tell myself that I was beautiful, amazing, smart,
Speaker 1: Like before I left the house, there's a mirror right
Speaker 1: by the door, and I would stop in it and say, hey, beautiful,
Speaker 1: You're amazing, You're Smarty're this year. That just to pump
Speaker 1: myself up. And then I was open to dating non
Speaker 1: traditional like my type, and so well that's what it
Speaker 1: like it all came down to. And then I also
Speaker 1: started looking like, you know, I started I'm like so
Speaker 1: strategic about everything. I really started looking back through my
Speaker 1: old relationships mentally of like which ones, like, you know,
Speaker 1: we're really great, which ones weren't really great? And why
Speaker 1: how you know, who did I feel my best with?
Speaker 1: So I could just be clear about what I was,
Speaker 1: what I was looking for, what I was open to find,
Speaker 1: not like he had to be a doctor, lawyer, but
Speaker 1: like he had to be open to the fact that
Speaker 1: I work for myself and what that looks like. You know,
Speaker 1: I wanted someone who was a giver because I was
Speaker 1: always dating takers because I'm an overgiver. So I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm tired of always feeling depleted. So I knew I
Speaker 1: wanted someone who was a giver. And I took the
Speaker 1: other things off, like he has to be African American,
Speaker 1: he has to look a certain type of way. I
Speaker 1: took those things off, and I said, what's really really important,
Speaker 1: Him being a giver, him being him being naturally kind.
Speaker 1: I was looking for someone who wasn't just nice to me,
Speaker 1: but just nice in general. So those are the things
Speaker 1: I started looking for. And oddly enough, the man I
Speaker 1: ended up being with was someone who I had known
Speaker 1: from in my twenties and we were friends and he'd
Speaker 1: randomly hit me up after I started creating all the space,
Speaker 1: and we went out for like an ice cream kind
Speaker 1: of like a date, and I was like, wow, this
Speaker 1: seems like what it just it just started to like
Speaker 1: tumble for before I knew it. You know, here we are,
Speaker 1: and I think I'm pretty sure I'm getting my ring
Speaker 1: on my birthday.
Speaker 2: Oh man, this ring saga.
Speaker 1: I know, I don't y'all don't even know. I can't
Speaker 1: wait to share it all once I get it. I
Speaker 1: can't wait to share all the shenanigans. I'm not fully
Speaker 1: proud of myself, but I don't care. Y'all know I
Speaker 1: tell the truth. But yeah, so you know so I did. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say that. That's what I would just
Speaker 1: suggest is creating mental, physical, and like spiritual space in
Speaker 1: your life and being open and honestly staying ready.
Speaker 2: I think the key is being open.
Speaker 3: I think all the things you did probably I mean,
Speaker 3: I don't think like I didn't do any of that stuff,
Speaker 3: but I think that the being open to it. I
Speaker 3: think a lot of people get like start to feel like, oh,
Speaker 3: it's never gonna happen for me, I'm never going to
Speaker 3: find them that didn't work out with the last person.
Speaker 2: I'm you know, I'm not this.
Speaker 3: I'm not that men are dog like and you wrap
Speaker 3: yourself in that negative energy and then you don't attract
Speaker 3: anyone because you're repelling them with that negative energy. So
Speaker 3: I think for me it was I don't know, I
Speaker 3: was a little bit different, and I'm also kind of
Speaker 3: uncomfortable assuming the role of like.
Speaker 2: I've made it.
Speaker 3: I found a man, you know, like, I have so
Speaker 3: much wisdom to impart I was a hot mess for
Speaker 3: a long time. I dated and slept with all the
Speaker 3: wrong people. Well, I mean some right people, but made
Speaker 3: mistakes for sure. Moved to New York, had my fun
Speaker 3: and I like, you know, had my fun or whatever,
Speaker 3: and I was it was around twenty twelve ish, it was,
Speaker 3: I'll tell you when. It was the fall of twenty twelve,
Speaker 3: and I was like, you know what, that was cool.
Speaker 2: I think I've done.
Speaker 3: I kind of want a more something serious. I'm ready
Speaker 3: for what I deserve, which is, you know, someone who
Speaker 3: respects and loves me and like wants to be there
Speaker 3: all the time, and you know, more of like a
Speaker 3: traditional relationship. And I just became really intentional. And I'm
Speaker 3: not going to say that even worked out it well
Speaker 3: because the first way I became intentional was to start
Speaker 3: professing my love for guys I was close with already.
Speaker 3: It was kind of like the let's just throw something
Speaker 3: at the wall and websticks.
Speaker 1: Hey, you love, You're pretty cute, love, we're.
Speaker 2: Really good friends. We should probably date each other.
Speaker 1: And I'm not gonna lie I did that too ready.
Speaker 2: I mean, you got to work your way through your
Speaker 2: guy friends, right.
Speaker 3: You gotta just go from one to one, Oh, that
Speaker 3: one's taking Okay, fine, on to the next one. Oh,
Speaker 3: we've been friends for what I mean, he's cute enough,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So to the to the male friends who had to
Speaker 3: endure that for me, I apologize I was going through something,
Speaker 3: but it was necessary, Like it was almost my you know,
Speaker 3: when I was fourteen years or how old was I
Speaker 3: fifteen years old? I don't know what it is in
Speaker 3: my brain. I like dare myself to do things. When
Speaker 3: I was fifteen years old, there was a cute boy
Speaker 3: in school and I was a new girl in school, okay,
Speaker 3: brand new to the school, didn't really have any friends,
Speaker 3: super hocky, and but at this cute boy and I
Speaker 3: rode the bus together.
Speaker 2: I don't even mimber his name.
Speaker 3: And it was around Valentine's Day and I was like,
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna ask him out. I'm just gonna ask
Speaker 3: him out from Valentine's Day and I just psyched myself up.
Speaker 3: I had literally no girlfriends there to like witness or
Speaker 3: help me or whatever. And I just like went to
Speaker 3: his locker and I was like, Hey, so and so,
Speaker 3: do you want to go out sometime.
Speaker 2: He's like, oh, I'm sorry, my.
Speaker 3: Girlfriend's over there, and it was like my first I
Speaker 3: guess that was my first rejection and ever since then
Speaker 3: I was like, well, okay, I had I experienced that
Speaker 3: I can do anything now. So for me, it was
Speaker 3: more about like it was, I just was tired of waiting.
Speaker 3: I always I always hate waiting for things to come
Speaker 3: to me in a way, and I just like rather
Speaker 3: go out there and get the answer right away, like
Speaker 3: are you into me? Do you want to date me?
Speaker 3: But I'm making myself sound crazy.
Speaker 2: I'm really no.
Speaker 1: I inmire, You're way more bold than I am. I'm
Speaker 1: always like really scared. So it's dead. I mean, like
Speaker 1: Mandy said, it's not like the things I did weren't
Speaker 1: for the magic of like you know how people tell
Speaker 1: you like manifestation, and I mean, to a certain degree,
Speaker 1: I agree, But I'll say this that it was more
Speaker 1: so to get myself in the mindset to be ready
Speaker 1: to have what it is that I wanted. So I
Speaker 1: did all those things really not because like I thought
Speaker 1: to myself, oh, if I magically sleep on one side
Speaker 1: of the bed, he's gonna come. No. But it was
Speaker 1: really like a daily reminder of you know, Tiffany, you
Speaker 1: said you want this, so you have to make space,
Speaker 1: you know, and so it was more symbolic than anything else.
Speaker 1: So honestly, I mean, if you're not leaving the house,
Speaker 1: you know you need to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all about the energy you put out, you know, yes,
Speaker 3: And anyway to finish my story after making those wrong
Speaker 3: proposition sounds also like a terrible I'm my worst advocate,
Speaker 3: but yeah, like hitting striking out and then I ended up.
Speaker 2: I had been.
Speaker 3: All my friends were like, get online, going Okay Cupid.
Speaker 3: It's the shit, Like you're gonna find somebody on okaycupd
Speaker 3: excuse me. I was like, online dating is lame, it's
Speaker 3: for old people. My mom met my stepdad in like
Speaker 3: match dot com when it first came.
Speaker 2: Out in two thousand and two or whatever.
Speaker 3: But I got on there and I tried, and it
Speaker 3: was almost like the list you made because I'm on
Speaker 3: Okay Cupid, which I realize now is not the cool
Speaker 3: website anymore because that's, you know, I feel really old now.
Speaker 3: All the young kids are on Tender and stuff. But anyway,
Speaker 3: you put down like you basically put a list of
Speaker 3: what you want, and you put what you're interested in,
Speaker 3: and they find you. People who have that in common already.
Speaker 3: One thing I will say about okay See is that
Speaker 3: when I finally met fiance bou there, I messaged him.
Speaker 3: I never went on any dates. He was my very
Speaker 3: first Oka Cupid date, and I was on there for
Speaker 3: a couple a couple of months, and I found out
Speaker 3: only the creepers would message you, Like it'd be like
Speaker 3: so and so from New Jersey who has like a
Speaker 3: twenty percent match with you, and like whatever I was wearing,
Speaker 3: like sweatpants and his boxers hanging out in his photo.
Speaker 3: Those guys would message me. But I was like, I
Speaker 3: just I can't wait for someone to message me. I
Speaker 3: have to message the guys I'm interested in. And yeah,
Speaker 3: I saw his I saw his page, and I pinged them,
Speaker 3: and we want on a date, like I guess. A
Speaker 3: few weeks later and the rest is history. And I
Speaker 3: know everyone who's online dating probably hates that story because
Speaker 3: it's not a reflection of how it usually is.
Speaker 2: Like your first days.
Speaker 3: I'm actually like sometimes I'm like, well, damn, I thought
Speaker 3: I was going to have my whole you know, sex
Speaker 3: and the city online dating. I was going to write
Speaker 3: a blog about it, and then instantly just like found
Speaker 3: mister man, and uh, I mean took me a while
Speaker 3: to realize it was mister the man because I was
Speaker 3: still in like my little you know, kind of want
Speaker 3: something serious, kind of not sure face. But yeah, I
Speaker 3: think it was all about just me intentionally looking for
Speaker 3: people who were interested in a relationship and stop fooling
Speaker 3: around with the guys who I knew, you know, were
Speaker 3: just you know, out for having fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that I think, honestly, to me, now that I
Speaker 1: really think about it, that last piece that you just
Speaker 1: said made the most difference. I stopped dating the guy
Speaker 1: I that was not really like a mad remember I said,
Speaker 1: I was like dating I'm like, eh, he was kind
Speaker 1: of I used to call my fake boyfriend, and it
Speaker 1: was like, oh, somebody to hang out with and to like,
Speaker 1: you know, deal with, because like in the meantime I
Speaker 1: actually had to doad that because I'm like Tiffany, like,
Speaker 1: you're not leaving any room for the right guy when
Speaker 1: you have in the meantime hanging around, So let him go.
Speaker 1: And even though it was so comfortable, so when I
Speaker 1: finally let him go, I was able to like, Okay,
Speaker 1: have space and room really for who apparently for coffee
Speaker 1: that came out of nowhere. I know. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, honestly, there's no one way. I
Speaker 1: just you know, open intention and getting out there.
Speaker 3: Yes, ma'am, okay, you owe us one thousand dollars now, no,
Speaker 3: I'm kidding. Next question is from Erica. She asks, can
Speaker 3: you talk about writing goodwill letters to companies to have
Speaker 3: negative marks removed from your credit report? Have you all
Speaker 3: done this or know someone you have has? I love
Speaker 3: the show. Your website looks great too, thanks, miss Erica.
Speaker 3: I will pass that on to our web developer, Miss Terry. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: good will letters to companies to have negative marks removed
Speaker 3: from credit reports. You must have dealt with this at
Speaker 3: some point, I know I have.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, I'll say this that you have to
Speaker 1: remember when you write a good will letter that companies
Speaker 1: are under no obligation to comply, because that's really the
Speaker 1: purpose of the good will letters. That you're just asking, like, hey,
Speaker 1: because people think this about their credit report. That people
Speaker 1: will tell me this all the time, Hey, Tiffany had
Speaker 1: this negative mark. I was late, but I'm on time
Speaker 1: now and I'm fully paid up. Why is it still there?
Speaker 1: I'm like girl, because it happened. Your credit report is
Speaker 1: supposed to be a report of what has happened, just
Speaker 1: because you've made better decisions, so that better decision will
Speaker 1: be reflected along with the fact that at one point
Speaker 1: you didn't make good decisions right, so you know, so
Speaker 1: you have to keep that in mind. So the company's
Speaker 1: not doing anything wrong by keeping your poor decisions on
Speaker 1: your credit report. You know, after a while they fall off,
Speaker 1: but if it was just like a few months ago
Speaker 1: or a couple of years ago, they're likely still going
Speaker 1: to be there now. You can write a letter asking
Speaker 1: that they remove them, especially if you've been on time.
Speaker 1: This is what I suggest to people is that if
Speaker 1: you're making like a lump some payment or paying most
Speaker 1: of it off, like before you make that payment, making
Speaker 1: that request like, Hey, I'm about to send my lump
Speaker 1: some payment and know I'm late. Can I ask that
Speaker 1: you do this after I submit this payment? And sometimes
Speaker 1: you can get them to agree, and then if they
Speaker 1: agree on paper like via email or be a letter
Speaker 1: or whatever, and they don't take it off, you can
Speaker 1: send that to the credit bureaus to say, hey, they
Speaker 1: agree to take it off and they have not.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you should always get a letter, some sort
Speaker 3: of letter with the agreement. But what you were talking
Speaker 3: about making a lump some payment, is that like a
Speaker 3: form of settling the debt, Like do you mean paying
Speaker 3: the entire thing off?
Speaker 1: Well, either way, So I find that this that that
Speaker 1: cause I A couple of my friends, so they're, much
Speaker 1: to their shame, were actually work for like credit collection agencies,
Speaker 1: and they told me that if you're either you know,
Speaker 1: gonna pay, Like, let's just say, you know, you owe
Speaker 1: thirty bucks and for whatever reason, you forgot to pay it.
Speaker 1: So now it's on your credit report and you're just
Speaker 1: gonna go ahead and pay the thirty bucks, So before
Speaker 1: doing so, working out some sort of deal, because ultimately
Speaker 1: the credit credit people that you owe, they don't care
Speaker 1: about your credit report and score. They just want their money.
Speaker 1: So if you're kind of like, you know, not that
Speaker 1: you're dangling the carrot, but basically you are like, hey,
Speaker 1: I've got your thirty bucks, could you guys take this
Speaker 1: off completely once I give it to you? Like I said,
Speaker 1: they don't have to, but that's something you could definitely ask.
Speaker 1: But let's just say you are gonna settle because you
Speaker 1: owe ten thousand and you're like, I don't have it,
Speaker 1: and they've agreed to settle for three thousand. So typically
Speaker 1: if they're gonna settle for three thousand, they're gonna want
Speaker 1: a lump some Like, no one's trying to settle for
Speaker 1: three thousand. Twenty bucks a months is what you're paying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you know, if you're going to settle and you're
Speaker 1: gonna get them that lump some ask. Now, the more
Speaker 1: that you're settling for, the more that you're getting off,
Speaker 1: the less likely they're going to be accommodating. So you know,
Speaker 1: if you're if you owe ten and you're gonna be
Speaker 1: paying fifteen hundred, they're probably gonna be like, girl, you're
Speaker 1: lucky that you don't have to pay this eighty five hundred,
Speaker 1: you know. But so the more that you're kind of giving,
Speaker 1: the more leeway you have to say, I'm about to
Speaker 1: set this payment, but I would love in writing for
Speaker 1: you to say that you'll take this off my credit
Speaker 1: report as a result, Like I said, you just it's
Speaker 1: just lump sum just gives you more leeway because there
Speaker 1: is if I'm paying you month a month, then there's
Speaker 1: no guarantee that I'm going to finish paying you. So
Speaker 1: it's like, so why should I take this off? And
Speaker 1: you're it's we have three years until you finish paying
Speaker 1: this off. No, so I would, I would, you know,
Speaker 1: I would negotiate with a lump sum payment.
Speaker 3: And it usually works best if you've already missed a
Speaker 3: bunch of payments, like when you're in delinquency, because what
Speaker 3: leaders will do anyway is they're eventually going to sell
Speaker 3: your dut to a dut collector, and they're going to
Speaker 3: sell it to them for pennies on the dollar.
Speaker 2: For whatever it's actually worth. So they could this.
Speaker 3: Sometimes they accept settlements or accept lump some payments from
Speaker 3: you because they're probably going to make more money off
Speaker 3: that lump some than if they were to sell it
Speaker 3: to a debt collectorate.
Speaker 2: And they know that. But one thing exactly it can
Speaker 2: be done.
Speaker 3: What I will say is if it's over a certain amount,
Speaker 3: I believe you have to that forgiven debt. The amount
Speaker 3: that they forgive is treated as taxable income. So you
Speaker 3: may receive a tax from the lender saying we forgave
Speaker 3: you for ten thousand dollars. Now you have to report
Speaker 3: this on your taxes, and you may actually have to
Speaker 3: pay taxes on that money, so it may not be
Speaker 3: a completely clean break from the debt.
Speaker 1: So typically it's like anything over like six hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: But my account did tell me if your net worth
Speaker 1: is zero or negative, then you won't have to and
Speaker 1: most people's networth, like if you're if you're owing that
Speaker 1: much money, you probably don't have a network that's going
Speaker 1: to force you to pay taxes on it. But still
Speaker 1: you just never know. That's definitely a possibility.
Speaker 3: Yes, ma'am. So let's do one more question. Let's see,
Speaker 3: so this was a super long question. Okay, all right,
Speaker 3: so let's do one more question. This was a super
Speaker 3: long question. I'm just going to get to that what
Speaker 3: I think is the real crux of her question, and
Speaker 3: it's from someone named Sonny. So Sonny says she's trying
Speaker 3: to get an apartment. She says her credit My credit
Speaker 3: score has remained around six fifty five for quite some time.
Speaker 3: I pay all my bills before their due. I earn
Speaker 3: over twenty five hundred dollars per month. Recently, I applied
Speaker 3: for a studio apartment where the rent was just seven
Speaker 3: hundred and seventy five dollars a month with everything included
Speaker 3: minus electricity. Sonny, where do you live? Because I am
Speaker 3: moving there because that is so cheap, She says. However,
Speaker 3: the rental company came back to me and declined me.
Speaker 3: They said because my credit line was so small and
Speaker 3: I never expanded it over the course of you know,
Speaker 3: using credit, and that I would require a co signer.
Speaker 3: I don't know what to do, Please help me. So basically,
Speaker 3: she has a short credit history because she waited so
Speaker 3: long to get her first card and then when she
Speaker 3: got it, she ran into some issues paying the bills
Speaker 3: and her score is now around six fifty five.
Speaker 2: Yeah, being similar.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's like that because she's like at that
Speaker 1: place where it's like it's not terrible, but it's not
Speaker 1: that good.
Speaker 2: It sucks, you know.
Speaker 3: So part of the question I didn't read. She says,
Speaker 3: I've never bothered getting more credit because I'm in the
Speaker 3: habit of couponing, saving and just buying stuff with cash.
Speaker 3: And it's almost like in the in the world we
Speaker 3: live in today, you're almost punished if you don't use
Speaker 3: credit because you need credit to get good credit. And
Speaker 3: although using cash can definitely key and it's good to
Speaker 3: use cash because you're staying out of debt. When it
Speaker 3: comes time to apply for things like apartments, get a
Speaker 3: car loan, mortgage loan, they want to see a long
Speaker 3: sort of credit history.
Speaker 2: So I feel for her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it is sucky. This is why I kind
Speaker 1: of like, I didn't understand where my dad had me
Speaker 1: get like a credit card when I was eighteen in
Speaker 1: college and he was like, but you're not allowed to
Speaker 1: use it for anything but books, But it was because
Speaker 1: and I still have that same credit card, and honestly,
Speaker 1: the credit limit now is thirty thousand dollars and I
Speaker 1: don't even I mean for me to swipe over a
Speaker 1: thousand is a lot. And I use it for business
Speaker 1: and paid off in full. But I allowed it to
Speaker 1: expand like that because for that reason. It's because I knew, well, one,
Speaker 1: you have to have the discipline, because you don't want
Speaker 1: to have a limit of thirty thousand and not have
Speaker 1: the discipline not to spend thirty thousand. But two, I
Speaker 1: use it because I wanted to show that, like, look,
Speaker 1: I can manage this level of credit available to me,
Speaker 1: So that part sucks. I would just say that, I mean,
Speaker 1: you can call your the person that you have the
Speaker 1: credit card with and see if you can get an expansion.
Speaker 1: But know this that asking for them to increase your
Speaker 1: credit limit that might result in a harder in career.
Speaker 1: So ask that because sometimes they have to look into
Speaker 1: your credit to see if they're going to allot you
Speaker 1: more credit. And a hard incree, a hard inquiry well
Speaker 1: temporarily lower your score. It's not for a super long time.
Speaker 3: I don't have a trade off because you do like
Speaker 3: it's helping your score by having a larger line of
Speaker 3: credit available to you, But then you get that little ping,
Speaker 3: the little ding on your score from asking for more money.
Speaker 1: Exactly, I feel.
Speaker 3: Like my advice would be okay, So you need to
Speaker 3: I understand why they're asking you for a co signer.
Speaker 3: Rental apart rental companies sometimes a lot of times do
Speaker 3: do credit background checks and may ask for a co signer.
Speaker 3: If no one's willing to be a co signer, you
Speaker 3: might just need to find another.
Speaker 2: Place to go.
Speaker 3: Well, you can write them a letter, you know. I
Speaker 3: did this when I first moved to New York. I
Speaker 3: had to put in an application with my landlord and
Speaker 3: her lawyer, you know, did the credit background check, and
Speaker 3: I didn't realize I'd never checked my credit before, and
Speaker 3: my credit score was terrible because when I was in college,
Speaker 3: someone opened up a Chase credit card under my name,
Speaker 3: racked up twelve thousand dollars and never paid it. I
Speaker 3: never heard about it, never knew about it because I
Speaker 3: never checked my credit and that's how I found out.
Speaker 3: He was like, I can't approve you because this happened.
Speaker 3: So I had to file disputes with the credit bureaus,
Speaker 3: and I wrote the landlord a very long letter explaining
Speaker 3: what happened, showing proof that I filed a dispute, and
Speaker 3: based on their own you know, they were just being basically,
Speaker 3: it was up to them and they were nice and
Speaker 3: they decided to take a risk on me. I also
Speaker 3: sent a letter of referral from a previous landlord who
Speaker 3: said I'd always paid the rent on time and then
Speaker 3: I was a good tenant, and I think that a
Speaker 3: long way toward convincing them to accept my application despite
Speaker 3: the what my credit history showed. So that's one thing
Speaker 3: you could try. Either, you know, get some letters recommendation,
Speaker 3: write a letter to them explaining what you know, what
Speaker 3: your situation is, or try and find someone you know
Speaker 3: who you trust and who trust you to be a
Speaker 3: co signer or you know, unfortunately you may have to
Speaker 3: find somewhere else.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then letters do really work because I remember
Speaker 1: when I went to buy my house, I was like
Speaker 1: twenty five, and I didn't have like a whole bunch
Speaker 1: of like debt and credit and stuff, and so oh,
Speaker 1: I actually had to get my landlord to write a letter.
Speaker 1: I had to get a notarized, and I had to
Speaker 1: show like bank statements showing that like, yes, on the
Speaker 1: first of every month, I made my my rent payment
Speaker 1: for like the last two years, So that helped. That
Speaker 1: went a long way, because ultimately, what they're really doing
Speaker 1: is trying to figure out are you the type to
Speaker 1: pay mm hm. So if you can show them that exactly,
Speaker 1: if you could show that that to them through alternative means,
Speaker 1: then that should be helpful.
Speaker 2: Yes, miss Sonny, good luck to you.
Speaker 1: I like your name too, Sunny miss Sonny.
Speaker 2: I think it was was a pseudonym, but I like
Speaker 2: it too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're just gonna call you that anyway.
Speaker 3: All right, our lovely listeners. So we have some sort
Speaker 3: of sad news. I guess we're gonna have one we're
Speaker 3: gonna be one podcast short for October. I believe Tiffany
Speaker 3: for exciting reasons. I'm heading to London with my little Hermannito,
Speaker 3: my little brother today for a brother or sister trip
Speaker 3: to London, and Miss Tiffany is going through.
Speaker 1: Heavy yes, and I'm going to Paris and my mom
Speaker 1: prag which I'm super excited about. I leave on next
Speaker 1: week and I'm like, yes, I've never been to Paris,
Speaker 1: although I've been to France and so yeah, So we
Speaker 1: will be gallivanting and we won't be able to tape,
Speaker 1: but we will think of you as we enjoy Europe,
Speaker 1: and we'll come back with some great stories and maybe
Speaker 1: some croissants. Yeah, well, we won't be able to share
Speaker 1: them with each other. Maybe with each other.
Speaker 3: You'll be there in spirit, listeners, So in the meantime,
Speaker 3: please go to Brunambition podcast dot com send us your
Speaker 3: questions comments. We've gotten a lot of lovely emails from
Speaker 3: people lately about the show and what it means to them.
Speaker 3: Love the emails, but we love even more when you
Speaker 3: take the time and leave us reviews on iTunes or
Speaker 3: wherever you listen, stitch your SoundCloud, leave us a kind
Speaker 3: note there. It lets other people find the show and
Speaker 3: lets everyone know what you already know, which is.
Speaker 1: That we yeah, awesome, you'll already know.
Speaker 2: No, no, you know you know listeners.
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, I.
Speaker 2: For all that. Nope, you're not gonna get me. All right, well,
Speaker 2: bom voyage. Yeah, I wish to be luck. It's my
Speaker 2: I haven't been to London before. I'm excited.
Speaker 1: Okay, I think you'll enjoy. I've been twice and it's
Speaker 1: not my face.
Speaker 2: Yeah okay, never mind, talk to you about it.
Speaker 1: You have a good trip, all right, girl,