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Speaker 1: And we're back. We're back, We're back, We're back. Hey Mandy,

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Speaker 1: how are you?

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Speaker 2: Hey, mis Tiffany.

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Speaker 3: We are doing a very special midweek recording of Brown Ambition.

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Speaker 1: But we both have something in common. We've got something

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Speaker 1: in comment. I heard you won an award. Well, I

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Speaker 1: saw the picture. First of all. Let me say that

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Speaker 1: your hair was everything and that dress was really cute.

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Speaker 2: Oh, thank you very much, Hey TJ Max thirteen.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my good Mandy Snatch.

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Speaker 3: Thank you. You know it's funny, so thank you so much. Yes,

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Speaker 3: I was awarded by the National Association of Black Journalists

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Speaker 3: in New York for Best Online Investigative.

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Speaker 2: Story for a story I wrote last year.

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Speaker 3: About students who were cheated by the Corinthian College Corinthian

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Speaker 3: College for Profit scandal, so really exciting. That story took

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Speaker 3: me like probably two months, and I thought I many

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Speaker 3: times like drank myself into a stupor because I was

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Speaker 3: so stressed at it was a hard story. But it's

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Speaker 3: really nice a year later to get that recognition, especially

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Speaker 3: from NABJ, because they've been my faan for a decade.

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Speaker 3: Ever since I set foot on my college campus. I

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Speaker 3: went straight to NABJ as signed Up.

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Speaker 2: Started out as a treasurer work my way Up.

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Speaker 3: I was president by my junior year, and it's such

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Speaker 3: an amazing professional organization, really supportive of more inclusiveness and

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Speaker 3: media and it couldn't be more important what NABJ does

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Speaker 3: than times like now with what's happening in the news.

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Speaker 3: So it was a really nice night. And thank you

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Speaker 3: for mentioning my hair. Because guess who I ran into.

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Speaker 3: Oh Miss Jesse herself. Well not Miss Jesse herself, the

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Speaker 3: founder of Miss Jesse, Miko Branch was there because she

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Speaker 3: was sponsoring the goodie bag, So you know I had

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Speaker 3: a couple goodie bags with her.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, you know what, these days, I don't

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Speaker 1: know what put on my locks, but that's awfo. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna tell you Miss Jessee story later.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, she handed me.

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Speaker 3: Of course, she's you know, you know, black women, we

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Speaker 3: are all about the branding. She literally pulled a book

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Speaker 3: out of her purse and was like.

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Speaker 2: Here's my latest book.

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Speaker 1: I can't but I can't because that is so me.

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Speaker 1: I'd be like, so you want to buy the bracelet

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Speaker 1: or nah? She was.

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Speaker 2: She was really sweet.

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Speaker 3: I met her through her her one of her sort

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Speaker 3: of publicists. His name is Patrick, and he's just like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I mean, Patrick's one of these characters who you just

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Speaker 3: feel like you want them to tell you stories all

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Speaker 3: day long. He hosts like a karaoke night in Harlem

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Speaker 3: like every weekend. He's just he's just one of those

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Speaker 3: people who knows everybody. So thank you, Patrick, if you're listening,

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Speaker 3: for introducing us to miss Miko Branch and we might

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Speaker 3: try and get her on the show.

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Speaker 2: It may or may not be happening, but yeah, it was.

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Speaker 3: It was lucky that my hair looked okay because there

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Speaker 3: she was in the flesh right.

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Speaker 1: It's like dentists. I'm like, I'm not looking at your teeth,

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Speaker 1: they are looking at your teeth.

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Speaker 2: I have to tell you though.

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Speaker 3: I started reading her book and then I tried her

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Speaker 3: products from the goodie bag last night in my hair.

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Speaker 3: And I have tried every like all of the shelf

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Speaker 3: products except for like miss Jessie' because she tends to

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Speaker 3: be more expensive.

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Speaker 2: So I get the Shay and the Carol's Daughter and

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Speaker 2: what else. Have I tried everything, but I haven't tried

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Speaker 2: miss Jessee stuff. I love it.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what I can't.

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Speaker 2: Tell you what it's called. It's some kind of curling meringue.

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Speaker 3: It all sounds like dessert, but it was, yeah, like

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Speaker 3: I put it in my curls, and you know, I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I'm two years into this transition and I'm struggling to

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Speaker 3: get Some parts of my hair want to be curly

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Speaker 3: and some parts are like you've been beating us with

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Speaker 3: a flat iron for thirty years, so we are gonna

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Speaker 3: stay straight.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, like it really defined all my curls.

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Speaker 3: So here's an unofficial plug for whatever Miss Jelli miss

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Speaker 3: Jessie is selling, because uh, it's good stuff.

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Speaker 1: So I have my own wind. This week, I too,

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Speaker 1: was honored by some brown folks, the National Association of

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Speaker 1: Black Accountants NABA hey neba. So it was really dope

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Speaker 1: because my dad is an accountant, and you know, I

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Speaker 1: teach money stuff. So they gave me the Entrepreneur Award,

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Speaker 1: New Jersey's Finest Entrepreneur. I don't know about all that,

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Speaker 1: but I'll take it.

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Speaker 2: In what context?

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Speaker 1: Do they mean?

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Speaker 2: Fine?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: Just me look like fine?

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Speaker 1: It's such an interesting.

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Speaker 2: Description for an award.

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Speaker 1: It is, and I thought that was weird. I mean, no,

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Speaker 1: no shape, nap I'm totally excited. But I did was like,

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Speaker 1: I mean, al, I'll take it. The got to celebrate themselves.

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Speaker 2: You gotta put that on your brand now in New

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Speaker 2: Jersey's finest I know, no, but.

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Speaker 1: Really the award was for they're looking for small businesses

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Speaker 1: that you know, not only make a profit, but that

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Speaker 1: are shifting and changing the community for better. So I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, that's me, that's me. So it was

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Speaker 1: really great because it was just a room. It was

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Speaker 1: a Newark where I lived, so that was really nice.

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Speaker 1: And my sister came, so that was really nice as well.

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Speaker 1: I invited her because you know, Superman is tired of

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Speaker 1: going to these awards where he just sits and says, oh, hi, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm Superman, so so she came. So honestly, it was

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Speaker 1: a really nice night and she dressed me as per usual.

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Speaker 2: She's like, beautiful, I love that dress.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, JC Panny, Honey. I think it was like

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Speaker 1: twenty bucks who jaz Benny. Yes, I know, and honestly,

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Speaker 1: I was no shade JC Penny, but let's be real,

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Speaker 1: you were not really known for being fashionable. But she

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Speaker 1: took me to buy clothes like earlier in the summer

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Speaker 1: and we saw this dress and she's like, you should

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Speaker 1: get it, and I was like, but I don't have

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Speaker 1: any place to wear it. She said, A place will appear,

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Speaker 1: And so I'm glad I bought it because yesterday I

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Speaker 1: didn't know what I was gonna wear. And I looked

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Speaker 1: into my closet and there was with a tax till

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Speaker 1: on it, and so there I was twenty dollars fly em.

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Speaker 3: That's like, that's the universe at work right there. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: don't don't use that if you're budgeting. Don't use that

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Speaker 3: excuse for everything. If I buy this, buy it, If

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Speaker 3: I buy this boat, the money to pay for it

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Speaker 3: will appear.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, No, it was. It was a really great night.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, so to look at us two awards, nice.

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Speaker 3: To be recognized, and I was, were you did you

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Speaker 3: have to give a little speech when you won?

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Speaker 1: I did, and so like I just I just talked

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Speaker 1: about how an accountain changed my life my father, and

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Speaker 1: how what they're doing matters, and how it changes the

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Speaker 1: lives of people who are around them, and you just

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Speaker 1: never know who you're going to touch and who they're

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Speaker 1: going to touch. As a result, leave.

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Speaker 2: It to you to make accounting and make me want

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Speaker 2: to tear up.

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Speaker 1: You. I was good. I was like, you can't get

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Speaker 1: at this stuff. I was like you.

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Speaker 3: Now, yeah, I didn't realize I wasn't have to give

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Speaker 3: a speech and they were honoring so many amazing journalists.

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Speaker 3: Raheema Ellis from NBC won the Lifetime Achievement Award that night.

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Speaker 3: She's one of those reporters and anchors who you see

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Speaker 3: all the time, but she's like the like the backbone

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Speaker 3: of some of those NBC News reports and like on her.

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Speaker 3: They did a really nice package for her and NBC

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Speaker 3: produced and they had Lester Hold Tom Brokaw talking about

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Speaker 3: Raheema Ellison.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: What was crazy though?

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Speaker 3: When when she got up to the stage she was

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Speaker 3: accepting a Lifetime Achievement of ward. This woman looks like

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Speaker 3: she is thirty two maybe maybe thirty two, maybe thirty five,

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Speaker 3: like a very wise thirty five. It's just so she

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Speaker 3: looks so beautiful, so young, and she was like, just

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Speaker 3: so you know, I'm not done yet.

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Speaker 2: It was it was a really nice speech. It was

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Speaker 2: hard to follow.

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Speaker 1: It was so there was a woman there who was

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Speaker 1: being honored. I said, only black women. Her name is Natasha.

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Speaker 1: Was it Rogers, so her bio read like one. Natasha

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Speaker 1: Rogers is a engineer, lawyer, has her NBA worked at

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Speaker 1: Goldman's Facts. Mandy, I was like, it's almost like four

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Speaker 1: people in one and she's thirty five years old, and

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at her like, how houseway? How do you

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Speaker 1: MEI was born and raised in the projects of Newark,

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Speaker 1: and I was and I asked her how she was like, honestly,

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Speaker 1: I was singularly focused on not being broken.

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Speaker 2: Hmm.

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Speaker 1: The first the first in her in her family to

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Speaker 1: go to college. And she just said, growing up the

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Speaker 1: way group was so traumatizing that I honestly was like,

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Speaker 1: I will not come back. I will not I will

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Speaker 1: not come back here. That I have to do better.

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Speaker 1: So she said it just motivated her and that she

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Speaker 1: wasn't like like collecting degrees for the sake of collecting them.

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Speaker 1: She said that when she wanted to achieve a different goal,

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Speaker 1: they would tell her where you need that, and she

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Speaker 1: would just go get it.

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Speaker 3: I feel like you just describe what brown ambition is

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Speaker 3: all about for real. Honestly, that's a band ambition moment

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Speaker 3: right there.

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Speaker 1: Yes, she and when you meet her, Manny just so like, oh, Hey,

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Speaker 1: what's up? Like just you you clearly she's brilliant. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you don't have an engineering law and an MBA from

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Speaker 1: like some of the top schools and just be like

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Speaker 1: some like regular everyday thinking person. She's clearly brilliant, but

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Speaker 1: so down to earth. It's so nice. And she was

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Speaker 1: honestly like, I'm not gonna lie. At thirty five, I'm

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Speaker 1: finally coming up for air. So like, what's going on, Like,

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Speaker 1: what's happening on here in the world?

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Speaker 2: Brandolina still together.

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Speaker 1: She was like, Kylee, She's like, Jackson is pregnant.

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Speaker 2: We may be going to Mars.

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Speaker 3: Did you see the pleasures of Janet with their baby?

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Speaker 1: And so I told her, I was like, I took

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Speaker 1: her number. I was like, don't worry, girl, We're gonna

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Speaker 1: get you. We're gonna get you socialized. But we had

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Speaker 1: such a great conversation about like you know, like just

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Speaker 1: about life and relationships and just like you know, achievement,

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Speaker 1: and it was just such a really good conversation. And

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Speaker 1: I just thought to myself, this is what I wish

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Speaker 1: more people could see. It's just women like her who

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Speaker 1: don't necessarily you're not going to see her in the

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Speaker 1: news or whatever necessarily, but she's amazing, you know, go ahead,

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Speaker 1: what was her name and was you know, I'm like

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Speaker 1: the worst like me find.

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Speaker 2: Her miss gold Go ahead and miss Golden Golden sex.

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Speaker 1: I remember her. Her first name was the Pasha and

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Speaker 1: her Yeah.

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Speaker 2: That's okay, I need to put her on blast like that.

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Speaker 2: I just want to say, hi, miss.

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Speaker 3: Natasha, thank you for carrying the Brown Ambition flag.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and being for being amazing and for she said

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Speaker 1: no matter where she goes, she represents for new work

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Speaker 1: and she wants to show that they're you know, there

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Speaker 1: is good here, you know, because you know how people

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Speaker 1: are out a certain cities.

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Speaker 2: You know, we should share more.

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Speaker 3: We have some amazing listeners out there, don't I don't

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Speaker 3: know if missus Natasha is a listener, but if you

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Speaker 3: guys have little inspirational stories, I mean, feel free to

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Speaker 3: go to Brian Ambition dot com Brianambition podcast dot com

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Speaker 3: and you can just send us your story through to

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Speaker 3: ask us anything for It's super easy.

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Speaker 2: Just fill out your question.

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Speaker 3: And put your email and by being by the boom,

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Speaker 3: you were in our inbox.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because we'd love to hear about like people that

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Speaker 1: represent Brown Ambition to you just because it's it's always

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Speaker 1: good to see that, you know, outside of the celebrity

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Speaker 1: they are amazing people that you know that we know.

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Speaker 1: We'd love to honor them, yes, ma'am.

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Speaker 3: And today's show is basically all about you, guys. We

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Speaker 3: are finally getting to the questions that we've been putting off,

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Speaker 3: so we have a handful of questions today.

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Speaker 2: So this show is going.

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Speaker 3: To be all about you, your money and career questions,

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Speaker 3: and we'd love for you guys to continue sending us

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Speaker 3: to those again. You can go to brand Ambition podcast

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Speaker 3: dot com, the brand new, fresh looking website that we

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Speaker 3: just redesigned. There is a super easy way to send

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Speaker 3: us questions. It's called to Ask Us Anything Form. Just

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Speaker 3: go there, submit your question and you might hear it

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Speaker 3: on the show. But before we get to questions, I

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Speaker 3: got to hear about fin Con.

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Speaker 1: So finn Con was it was all different in this way,

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Speaker 1: so you know how usually fincn's like four or five

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Speaker 1: hundred of your closest financial friends.

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Speaker 3: Right for people who don't know, describe the FINCN is

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Speaker 3: important to me and Tiff because it's where we met

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Speaker 3: in person.

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Speaker 1: Ye fIF God is a finance It started off as

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Speaker 1: a financial bloggers conference, but it's since grown to a

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Speaker 1: financial content conference. So you get bloggers, writers, speakers, educators,

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Speaker 1: all things money and finance. They kind of gather here

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Speaker 1: once a year and it's all around the country. Pet

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Speaker 1: who is the founder of finn Con, Philip Taylor, he

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Speaker 1: decided this year year he wanted it to be the

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Speaker 1: biggest year yet. So typically fin Con is between three

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Speaker 1: and five hundred folks, and this year it was almost

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Speaker 1: thirteen hundred or about thirty Mandy honestly, So it was like,

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Speaker 1: that's exactly how the old folks felt. We were all like, oh,

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Speaker 1: because you know, I'm used to going to finn Con

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Speaker 1: and knowing not all the faces, but like a good

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Speaker 1: chunk of them. Yeah, So you know, this time I

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Speaker 1: went and I was like, I don't know you. I

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Speaker 1: don't know you. I don't know you. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: don't know you or you oh u either. So it

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Speaker 1: was I mean, San Diego was beautiful, the location that

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Speaker 1: he chose was beautiful. Everything looked great. So it was that,

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Speaker 1: I mean I felt both good and not good about

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Speaker 1: the amount of people because one there were so many

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Speaker 1: more brown people. Oh my gosh, Mandy, it was like

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Speaker 1: a plethora of beautiful brown people.

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Speaker 2: That's a huge change from last year.

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Speaker 1: What we took over, what so many of us went

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Speaker 1: Plutus Awards. So Plutus Awards for those of you who

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Speaker 1: didn't know, are like the Emmys for financial educators, writers

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Speaker 1: and stuff like that. And so I think, like Tanya

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Speaker 1: one from my Fat Finance tie in talent from His

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Speaker 1: and Her Money. Some other browns one me and Patrise

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Speaker 1: hit the main stage. So right before the keynote, they

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Speaker 1: had something called the Big Ideas and it was like

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Speaker 1: a Tedex style talk. So I went on Friday, Patrice

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Speaker 1: went on Saturday. I don't think any brown person has

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Speaker 1: ever hit the stage, so they have two. This year

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Speaker 1: was like amazing. We were thanks, we were and honestly

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Speaker 1: it was so in that respect. They clearly heard our

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Speaker 1: grumblings from last year about there being a lack of diversity,

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Speaker 1: and this year they really surged forward and had so

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Speaker 1: many speakers, so many podcasters, so many people there. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I have a picture for you from the podcast movement

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Speaker 1: of like they have our picture brighton center and one

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Speaker 1: of their on one of their band o word cool.

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Speaker 1: I've a picture said to you. I was like, I

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Speaker 1: gotta take it, said Bandy. So yeah, it was just

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Speaker 1: it was good in that way, and that there were

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Speaker 1: way more people like you know, so more way more

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Speaker 1: people of color. But it was also I felt like

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Speaker 1: I lost touch with some of my old FINCN family. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but like I said, I all all fin Con was fun.

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Speaker 1: They're having it in Dallas twenty seventeen, which is Pet's hometown. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I've heard a little whisperings that there might be

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Speaker 1: some shifting in finn Con. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm sure he's tired. I don't know. Let

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Speaker 1: me not even say, let me not even say.

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Speaker 2: Okay, are we breaking news or are we breaking night?

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Speaker 2: What's happening here?

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Speaker 3: Because you know, brendan ambition and listeners come to hear

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Speaker 3: about the latest in Finncon drama. That was exactly what

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Speaker 3: they're here for.

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Speaker 1: I know, you're like, who what, Let's move on, Okay,

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Speaker 1: So yeah that's Fencon news.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Well, congrats to all them, the powerful pos representing

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Speaker 3: fin Cone.

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Speaker 1: The browns, and yeah, that part was really great to

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Speaker 1: really see, like, wow, so many great brown people here

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Speaker 1: doing their dang.

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Speaker 2: And we both so you're so today. It's been a September.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I don't even know where it went

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Speaker 3: or like what all happened. Just so much happened in September.

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Speaker 3: But the highlight was that wedding last weekend. These were

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Speaker 3: my best friends. And I'll tell you the quick story

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Speaker 3: of us. It's a romantic story. So I've never been

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Speaker 3: in a I've never I've been in my sister's wedding,

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Speaker 3: but it was a very small, intimate wedding. I was

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Speaker 3: the only one standing up with her. This was the

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Speaker 3: first time I was like a bridesmaid in my best

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Speaker 3: friend's wedding. And this is my friend Brian.

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Speaker 2: He and I met.

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Speaker 3: So to flashback two thousand and five, Hurricane Katrina hit

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Speaker 3: the Gulf Coast. I was a freshman in college. I

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Speaker 3: was home in my dorm with a nasty cold, and

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Speaker 3: I was like flipping through MTV and I saw an

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Speaker 3: ad looking for volunteers. They were going to send to

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Speaker 3: the Golf Coast to like help rebuild after and they

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Speaker 3: were accepting one hundred kids from across the country, two

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Speaker 3: from each state, and they were going to go to

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Speaker 3: the Gulf Coast Mississippi, Louisiana and help them rebuild.

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Speaker 2: And I entered. I don't know what possessed me.

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Speaker 3: I entered this contest and they picked me and another

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Speaker 3: and like a hundred other kids from around the country

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Speaker 3: and we all went. We were all just like babies.

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Speaker 3: It was my first time flying on a plane by myself.

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Speaker 3: I had never really traveled alone before. I had never

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Speaker 3: even gone to like summer camp. I mean I didn't,

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Speaker 3: and I was going to spend a week with all

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Speaker 3: these strangers, and it ended up being like the single

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Speaker 3: most important week of my life, if I can, if

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Speaker 3: I'm not even being that dramatic about it, because the

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Speaker 3: friends I made there were still friends.

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Speaker 2: To this day.

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Speaker 3: And Brian was one of the very first people that

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Speaker 3: I met in We were in Biloxi, Mississippi, during that week,

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Speaker 3: and it was just that week is the reason why

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Speaker 3: I became brave enough to travel and travel by myself

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Speaker 3: and do more volunteering, and it taught me how to

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Speaker 3: be a leader. I kept going back every year and

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Speaker 3: came a team leader. I mean, just so impactful, and

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Speaker 3: not least of which was because of the friendship. So

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Speaker 3: Brian and I met, of course during that trip, and

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Speaker 3: then all my other best friends that are now all

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Speaker 3: over the country, we all met and now that we're

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Speaker 3: all older, it's just it's been ten years and I

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Speaker 3: was at the I was, you know, part of Brian's wedding,

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Speaker 3: and it just it like hit me when I was

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Speaker 3: standing there watching him get married to his wife, Diana,

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Speaker 3: who's also become a really good friend of mine, and.

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Speaker 2: I was like the biggest baby. It was real embarrassing.

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Speaker 3: I was like doing not even a cute cry, like

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Speaker 3: the ugly cry, like I had to hide, I had

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Speaker 3: to hide behind my bouquet. But it was just, you know,

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Speaker 3: it's such a I don't know, I've never been in

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Speaker 3: a wedding like that before. It really felt like damn,

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Speaker 3: like full circle. Yes, seeing people you love love each

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Speaker 3: other and get married, and like all my other friends

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Speaker 3: from that trip were there, and I don't know, it

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Speaker 3: was it's just it's amazing that we all came this

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Speaker 3: far and we could all be together. It was just beautiful, beautiful.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's really because you're like, you know, it's like

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Speaker 1: I was talking to my best friend the other day.

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Speaker 1: I saw her like downtown and she had her son,

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Speaker 1: and you know, Meanwhile, I've known Drena since middle school

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Speaker 1: and so it still has not hit me that she

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Speaker 1: has a child, because it's like, you're making that transition

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Speaker 1: in your mind that like people that are no longer

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Speaker 1: ten can now have kids, like you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Like and so like whenever I see her with her son,

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Speaker 1: like my mind categorizes it is, Oh, there's Drena with

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Speaker 1: this kid, like like not her kid. When then she

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Speaker 1: said something like I don't know, like you know, like

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Speaker 1: tickle him or whatever. And then it hit me. I'm like, wait, meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: the baby is one years old and it's my godson.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, wait, Drena, this is your baby. She looked

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Speaker 1: at me like what is wrong with you? I was like,

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Speaker 1: now it just hit me, like how is this happening?

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Speaker 1: How are we appropriating? Because it just seems weird when

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Speaker 1: people get married have kids, people that you've known, like

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Speaker 1: you know, when you were too young to do those

405
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Speaker 1: things and when it had happens making that transition. It's

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Speaker 1: like both emotional, it's cool, it's fun, but yeah it's

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Speaker 1: a lot. But so I could totally you.

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Speaker 3: Know, it's wild, and Brian was like, yeah, this is

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Speaker 3: no secret if you know Brian, I love you, Brian.

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Speaker 2: He listens to the show. He was one of our

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Speaker 2: early fans.

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Speaker 1: He was.

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Speaker 2: He was a little bit of a player back in

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Speaker 2: the day. It's, you know, in a.

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Speaker 3: Little bit of a I'm gonna use a d word,

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Speaker 3: a little bit of a douche in some ways, A

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Speaker 3: lovable douche, but a douche nonetheless.

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Speaker 2: And we had our moments.

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Speaker 3: But when I moved to New York City in twenty ten,

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Speaker 3: he was one of my first first people I called,

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Speaker 3: and he and his cousin Tran God Tran Like they

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Speaker 3: lived in the teeny tiniest I mean, they called it

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Speaker 3: a two bedroom, but it was like two closets in

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Speaker 3: a hallway. And they lived in that teeny tiny apartment.

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Speaker 3: And Brian still was like, you can come stay with us.

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Speaker 3: We have a little Ikia cot.

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Speaker 2: We'll make it work.

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Speaker 3: And I stayed there for two weeks, and you know,

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Speaker 3: he would That's how that's the asb like, the love

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Speaker 3: that we had, and that's our friendship. And I'm just

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Speaker 3: really I'm just so happy for them, and.

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Speaker 2: It's just and I'm next.

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Speaker 3: And that was also tripping me out because now that

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Speaker 3: they're done out. It feels like, oh shit, I gotta

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Speaker 3: put on a show now, because they did.

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Speaker 2: They did it.

437
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,879
Speaker 1: Like it was really pretty. Like there was one picture

438
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 1: that I thought that you posted. It was like she

439
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 1: was kind of like far away and I don't know.

440
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 1: It was just so beautiful. It didn't even look like

441
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,960
Speaker 1: a real person or wedding. It was just beautiful.

442
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,879
Speaker 3: She was a human precious moments all that's what, Yes,

443
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,280
Speaker 3: that is what. Diana was, this goddess who could not

444
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,520
Speaker 3: think she was less of a goddess. I mean she

445
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,520
Speaker 3: she's like so humble, and I'm like, Diana, can you just.

446
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 2: Stop for a second.

447
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:42,160
Speaker 3: And just like accept that you are the beauty goddess

448
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:44,680
Speaker 3: queen that you are right now because literally two hours

449
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:48,120
Speaker 3: before her wedding she was ziplining and doing kickball and

450
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,199
Speaker 3: playing long games and having a cookout like that was

451
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,440
Speaker 3: the whole weekend was like at camp. They had archery

452
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 3: and canoeing and all this stuff.

453
00:20:55,359 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 2: It was like so of them and just so beautiful. So,

454
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:07,360
Speaker 2: without further ado.

455
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,360
Speaker 3: I cleaned out the inbox. You guys send them excellent questions.

456
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,280
Speaker 3: I picked out a handful of some of my favorite questions,

457
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,959
Speaker 3: and again, please do not be shy. I send us

458
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,880
Speaker 3: your questions. Go to Brown Ambition Podcast dot com. There's

459
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:21,720
Speaker 3: a super easy form you can fill out there. We

460
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,239
Speaker 3: love to hear from you guys. And while you're at it,

461
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,639
Speaker 3: like the page, leave us a review on iTunes, you know,

462
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 3: just say hey, tell a friend, do whatever you gotta do.

463
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,480
Speaker 3: It's it's it helps us so much when you share

464
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 3: and spread the word about Brown Ambition.

465
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:39,920
Speaker 2: Anything you want to add.

466
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:43,439
Speaker 1: To No, I'm just listening because you don't be up.

467
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,199
Speaker 1: Like when it comes to the communication piece, I'm like,

468
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,080
Speaker 1: I don't remember that the email. But if you go

469
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,680
Speaker 1: to broad Ambition podcast dot.

470
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 3: Com, that's what we're ever gonna start doing. Just send

471
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,760
Speaker 3: them directly to our Our website is so nice now. It

472
00:21:54,800 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 3: has all the information, our social media, our bios, photos.

473
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 2: Latest episodes.

474
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,440
Speaker 3: It is your go to destination for Brown Ambition news.

475
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, everything's right there so that I can remember.

476
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,680
Speaker 2: Yes, good, got it only took us a year.

477
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:13,080
Speaker 1: But okay, no judgment, no judgment.

478
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 3: Okay, So here are some questions. Here's our first question.

479
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,640
Speaker 3: Nobody told me not to use their names. I'm using

480
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,440
Speaker 3: the names. I'm sorry, you know, call my lawyer if

481
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,399
Speaker 3: you're upset. So our first name, our first questions from

482
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,920
Speaker 3: someone named Kimoi. I hope I'm pronouncing that right.

483
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:31,880
Speaker 2: She says, I would really love.

484
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 3: If you guys can expand on something Tiffany mentioned once

485
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 3: about how she did a visualization process to make room

486
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:42,239
Speaker 3: for the men, the man in her life. I'd love

487
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 3: if you could expand on this and share more tips

488
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 3: on how I can prepare for the man in my life.

489
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 3: And then my early thirties and while I don't feel

490
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,200
Speaker 3: the pressure to have kids and I'm not sure if

491
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,679
Speaker 3: I want any, I still want to be married and

492
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:57,520
Speaker 3: be with the man of my dreams. Thanks in advance, Kimoi.

493
00:22:57,880 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 1: So kimeoy. So this is what I did well want.

494
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 1: I was in my early thirties when I started this.

495
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,439
Speaker 1: I had reached out to a friend of mine, like

496
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,960
Speaker 1: the budgetiesta was starting to take off. But every time

497
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 1: I came home home to an empty house, I was like, Ugh,

498
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:13,679
Speaker 1: this sucks. Like I wasn't really dating. I mean, I

499
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:16,679
Speaker 1: was dating, but he wasn't really a great fit. And

500
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 1: you know how you date some guys that you know,

501
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:22,240
Speaker 1: this is not anyone who I'm going to be spending

502
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,399
Speaker 1: the rest of my life with. This is just for now.

503
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,919
Speaker 1: And I was tired of for now because when you

504
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 1: go home, it's you're still by yourself. And I was

505
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,960
Speaker 1: finally ready because I had not seriously dated anyone since

506
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,640
Speaker 1: my late twenties, and on purpose, because I was building myself.

507
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,399
Speaker 1: So I reached out to a friend who was successful.

508
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 1: She's married with a child, and I said to her,

509
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 1: she's an entrepreneur, like how how did you do it?

510
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 1: Or you know, like, what can I do? Because I

511
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, everything's going great except for my

512
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 1: personal life, my love life because family's good, friends were good,

513
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 1: but my love life was not. And she said, Tiffany,

514
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 1: how many hours a day do you work on a budgeanisa?

515
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,480
Speaker 1: I said, I don't know, girl, like all hours? And

516
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,240
Speaker 1: she said, how many hours a day do you work

517
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 1: on your relationship? I'm like, well, there is no relationship.

518
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 1: What's to work on? She was like, but work on

519
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:15,440
Speaker 1: like securing like love. I'm like, well, that's not how

520
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,400
Speaker 1: it works. She said, it is in your thirties. She said,

521
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 1: in your twenties, you know, things can happen a little

522
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 1: bit more organically. You don't have to necessarily be as intentional,

523
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 1: you know, because I don't know why. I guess you're

524
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 1: just like free and open. But she's like, you know,

525
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:33,399
Speaker 1: if you're at an age where you're wanting someone in

526
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,879
Speaker 1: your life and it's not happening as organically as you'd like,

527
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 1: you have to put work. If you put a quarter

528
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 1: of the work toward your love life that you did

529
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 1: toward the Budgeanisa, you'd have someone. And I was like,

530
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 1: at first, it felt unnatural, like I'm not trying to

531
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 1: put work toward it. I want to, you know, walk

532
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:49,920
Speaker 1: down the street and bump into someone and I dropped

533
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:51,480
Speaker 1: my pen and he looks into my eyes and we

534
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 1: fall madly in love. But she was just like, good

535
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:56,399
Speaker 1: luck with that, and so I thought about it and

536
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 1: I said okay. So one I realized she said, even

537
00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 1: if if a man were to come into your life now,

538
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,399
Speaker 1: is there even space for him? And that resonated with me.

539
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 1: I said, you know what, No, there isn't. So first

540
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:10,159
Speaker 1: thing I did was something it seems like weird and corny,

541
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 1: but I started creating physical space in my life just

542
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:17,159
Speaker 1: to be symbolic. So I started like, like I usually

543
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 1: sleep like wild all over the bed, and I started

544
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:21,159
Speaker 1: sleeping on one side of the bed because Boo was

545
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:24,159
Speaker 1: gonna sleep on the other. I actually like pushed like

546
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 1: some like I opened up some closet space in my closet,

547
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 1: you know, I opened up some space on my dresser

548
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,439
Speaker 1: just for a simple like just the symbolism for me

549
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:38,200
Speaker 1: was I'm creating physical space in my space for someone. Usually,

550
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 1: like anybody who knows me knows I'm kind of like

551
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 1: a tomboy at heart. I mean, I get dressed up

552
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 1: to speak, but that is not me. So I usually

553
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 1: will leave the house looking like who shot Bob and why?

554
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,919
Speaker 1: So I stopped doing that. I was like, no, at

555
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 1: least you don't have to get dressed up, but at

556
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 1: least look decent, like if you see someone, you're not

557
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,479
Speaker 1: gonna like avert your eyes because you know you look crazy.

558
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,120
Speaker 1: So and then too leave the house. I am such

559
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 1: a homebody. And I'm like, she's ativity the man that

560
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:03,800
Speaker 1: you're gonna marry is not gonna knock on your door,

561
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:08,679
Speaker 1: you know, likely anyway, not likely. So I like actually

562
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: started like leaving because I never if I wasn't doing

563
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 1: budget theese stuff, I would never leave the house. And

564
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 1: she was like, no, make it a point, like instead

565
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 1: of doing work, at home, walk to the cafe in

566
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:22,399
Speaker 1: a cute dress and do something there. So I started

567
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 1: doing those things, and I also started doing what I

568
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 1: call mirror work, where I used to look in the

569
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 1: mirror every day and tell myself that I was beautiful, amazing, smart,

570
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:31,399
Speaker 1: Like before I left the house, there's a mirror right

571
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 1: by the door, and I would stop in it and say, hey, beautiful,

572
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 1: You're amazing, You're Smarty're this year. That just to pump

573
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 1: myself up. And then I was open to dating non

574
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:47,359
Speaker 1: traditional like my type, and so well that's what it

575
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 1: like it all came down to. And then I also

576
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 1: started looking like, you know, I started I'm like so

577
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:54,199
Speaker 1: strategic about everything. I really started looking back through my

578
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 1: old relationships mentally of like which ones, like, you know,

579
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,120
Speaker 1: we're really great, which ones weren't really great? And why

580
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:02,920
Speaker 1: how you know, who did I feel my best with?

581
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,119
Speaker 1: So I could just be clear about what I was,

582
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 1: what I was looking for, what I was open to find,

583
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 1: not like he had to be a doctor, lawyer, but

584
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 1: like he had to be open to the fact that

585
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 1: I work for myself and what that looks like. You know,

586
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,639
Speaker 1: I wanted someone who was a giver because I was

587
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 1: always dating takers because I'm an overgiver. So I was like,

588
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 1: I'm tired of always feeling depleted. So I knew I

589
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,480
Speaker 1: wanted someone who was a giver. And I took the

590
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 1: other things off, like he has to be African American,

591
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 1: he has to look a certain type of way. I

592
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 1: took those things off, and I said, what's really really important,

593
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 1: Him being a giver, him being him being naturally kind.

594
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 1: I was looking for someone who wasn't just nice to me,

595
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,640
Speaker 1: but just nice in general. So those are the things

596
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 1: I started looking for. And oddly enough, the man I

597
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 1: ended up being with was someone who I had known

598
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 1: from in my twenties and we were friends and he'd

599
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,119
Speaker 1: randomly hit me up after I started creating all the space,

600
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,439
Speaker 1: and we went out for like an ice cream kind

601
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,879
Speaker 1: of like a date, and I was like, wow, this

602
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,359
Speaker 1: seems like what it just it just started to like

603
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:06,360
Speaker 1: tumble for before I knew it. You know, here we are,

604
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,919
Speaker 1: and I think I'm pretty sure I'm getting my ring

605
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 1: on my birthday.

606
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 2: Oh man, this ring saga.

607
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:16,120
Speaker 1: I know, I don't y'all don't even know. I can't

608
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 1: wait to share it all once I get it. I

609
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,640
Speaker 1: can't wait to share all the shenanigans. I'm not fully

610
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,199
Speaker 1: proud of myself, but I don't care. Y'all know I

611
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 1: tell the truth. But yeah, so you know so I did. Yeah. No,

612
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say that. That's what I would just

613
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:33,680
Speaker 1: suggest is creating mental, physical, and like spiritual space in

614
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 1: your life and being open and honestly staying ready.

615
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 2: I think the key is being open.

616
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 3: I think all the things you did probably I mean,

617
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 3: I don't think like I didn't do any of that stuff,

618
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 3: but I think that the being open to it. I

619
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 3: think a lot of people get like start to feel like, oh,

620
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 3: it's never gonna happen for me, I'm never going to

621
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 3: find them that didn't work out with the last person.

622
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 2: I'm you know, I'm not this.

623
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 3: I'm not that men are dog like and you wrap

624
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 3: yourself in that negative energy and then you don't attract

625
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 3: anyone because you're repelling them with that negative energy. So

626
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 3: I think for me it was I don't know, I

627
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 3: was a little bit different, and I'm also kind of

628
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,280
Speaker 3: uncomfortable assuming the role of like.

629
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 2: I've made it.

630
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 3: I found a man, you know, like, I have so

631
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,880
Speaker 3: much wisdom to impart I was a hot mess for

632
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 3: a long time. I dated and slept with all the

633
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 3: wrong people. Well, I mean some right people, but made

634
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 3: mistakes for sure. Moved to New York, had my fun

635
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 3: and I like, you know, had my fun or whatever,

636
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 3: and I was it was around twenty twelve ish, it was,

637
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 3: I'll tell you when. It was the fall of twenty twelve,

638
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 3: and I was like, you know what, that was cool.

639
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 2: I think I've done.

640
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 3: I kind of want a more something serious. I'm ready

641
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 3: for what I deserve, which is, you know, someone who

642
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 3: respects and loves me and like wants to be there

643
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 3: all the time, and you know, more of like a

644
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:58,760
Speaker 3: traditional relationship. And I just became really intentional. And I'm

645
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 3: not going to say that even worked out it well

646
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 3: because the first way I became intentional was to start

647
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 3: professing my love for guys I was close with already.

648
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 3: It was kind of like the let's just throw something

649
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 3: at the wall and websticks.

650
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 1: Hey, you love, You're pretty cute, love, we're.

651
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 2: Really good friends. We should probably date each other.

652
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 1: And I'm not gonna lie I did that too ready.

653
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:23,719
Speaker 2: I mean, you got to work your way through your

654
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 2: guy friends, right.

655
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 3: You gotta just go from one to one, Oh, that

656
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 3: one's taking Okay, fine, on to the next one. Oh,

657
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 3: we've been friends for what I mean, he's cute enough,

658
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 3: you know.

659
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

660
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 3: So to the to the male friends who had to

661
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 3: endure that for me, I apologize I was going through something,

662
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 3: but it was necessary, Like it was almost my you know,

663
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 3: when I was fourteen years or how old was I

664
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 3: fifteen years old? I don't know what it is in

665
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 3: my brain. I like dare myself to do things. When

666
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 3: I was fifteen years old, there was a cute boy

667
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 3: in school and I was a new girl in school, okay,

668
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,760
Speaker 3: brand new to the school, didn't really have any friends,

669
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 3: super hocky, and but at this cute boy and I

670
00:30:58,480 --> 00:30:59,280
Speaker 3: rode the bus together.

671
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 2: I don't even mimber his name.

672
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 3: And it was around Valentine's Day and I was like,

673
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:05,479
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna ask him out. I'm just gonna ask

674
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 3: him out from Valentine's Day and I just psyched myself up.

675
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 3: I had literally no girlfriends there to like witness or

676
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 3: help me or whatever. And I just like went to

677
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 3: his locker and I was like, Hey, so and so,

678
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 3: do you want to go out sometime.

679
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 2: He's like, oh, I'm sorry, my.

680
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 3: Girlfriend's over there, and it was like my first I

681
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 3: guess that was my first rejection and ever since then

682
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:27,240
Speaker 3: I was like, well, okay, I had I experienced that

683
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 3: I can do anything now. So for me, it was

684
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 3: more about like it was, I just was tired of waiting.

685
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 3: I always I always hate waiting for things to come

686
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 3: to me in a way, and I just like rather

687
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 3: go out there and get the answer right away, like

688
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 3: are you into me? Do you want to date me?

689
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 3: But I'm making myself sound crazy.

690
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 2: I'm really no.

691
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 1: I inmire, You're way more bold than I am. I'm

692
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:51,400
Speaker 1: always like really scared. So it's dead. I mean, like

693
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,760
Speaker 1: Mandy said, it's not like the things I did weren't

694
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 1: for the magic of like you know how people tell

695
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 1: you like manifestation, and I mean, to a certain degree,

696
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 1: I agree, But I'll say this that it was more

697
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 1: so to get myself in the mindset to be ready

698
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,239
Speaker 1: to have what it is that I wanted. So I

699
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 1: did all those things really not because like I thought

700
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 1: to myself, oh, if I magically sleep on one side

701
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:15,240
Speaker 1: of the bed, he's gonna come. No. But it was

702
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 1: really like a daily reminder of you know, Tiffany, you

703
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:21,959
Speaker 1: said you want this, so you have to make space,

704
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 1: you know, and so it was more symbolic than anything else.

705
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 1: So honestly, I mean, if you're not leaving the house,

706
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 1: you know you need to.

707
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, all about the energy you put out, you know, yes,

708
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 3: And anyway to finish my story after making those wrong

709
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 3: proposition sounds also like a terrible I'm my worst advocate,

710
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 3: but yeah, like hitting striking out and then I ended up.

711
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:49,680
Speaker 2: I had been.

712
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 3: All my friends were like, get online, going Okay Cupid.

713
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:54,959
Speaker 3: It's the shit, Like you're gonna find somebody on okaycupd

714
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 3: excuse me. I was like, online dating is lame, it's

715
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 3: for old people. My mom met my stepdad in like

716
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 3: match dot com when it first came.

717
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 2: Out in two thousand and two or whatever.

718
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 3: But I got on there and I tried, and it

719
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 3: was almost like the list you made because I'm on

720
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 3: Okay Cupid, which I realize now is not the cool

721
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 3: website anymore because that's, you know, I feel really old now.

722
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,720
Speaker 3: All the young kids are on Tender and stuff. But anyway,

723
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,120
Speaker 3: you put down like you basically put a list of

724
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 3: what you want, and you put what you're interested in,

725
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 3: and they find you. People who have that in common already.

726
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:26,800
Speaker 3: One thing I will say about okay See is that

727
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 3: when I finally met fiance bou there, I messaged him.

728
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 3: I never went on any dates. He was my very

729
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:34,480
Speaker 3: first Oka Cupid date, and I was on there for

730
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 3: a couple a couple of months, and I found out

731
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 3: only the creepers would message you, Like it'd be like

732
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 3: so and so from New Jersey who has like a

733
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 3: twenty percent match with you, and like whatever I was wearing,

734
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 3: like sweatpants and his boxers hanging out in his photo.

735
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 3: Those guys would message me. But I was like, I

736
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 3: just I can't wait for someone to message me. I

737
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 3: have to message the guys I'm interested in. And yeah,

738
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 3: I saw his I saw his page, and I pinged them,

739
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 3: and we want on a date, like I guess. A

740
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 3: few weeks later and the rest is history. And I

741
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 3: know everyone who's online dating probably hates that story because

742
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:09,839
Speaker 3: it's not a reflection of how it usually is.

743
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 2: Like your first days.

744
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 3: I'm actually like sometimes I'm like, well, damn, I thought

745
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 3: I was going to have my whole you know, sex

746
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:19,799
Speaker 3: and the city online dating. I was going to write

747
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 3: a blog about it, and then instantly just like found

748
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,879
Speaker 3: mister man, and uh, I mean took me a while

749
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 3: to realize it was mister the man because I was

750
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,919
Speaker 3: still in like my little you know, kind of want

751
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:38,320
Speaker 3: something serious, kind of not sure face. But yeah, I

752
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 3: think it was all about just me intentionally looking for

753
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 3: people who were interested in a relationship and stop fooling

754
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,319
Speaker 3: around with the guys who I knew, you know, were

755
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,120
Speaker 3: just you know, out for having fun.

756
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, that I think, honestly, to me, now that I

757
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 1: really think about it, that last piece that you just

758
00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 1: said made the most difference. I stopped dating the guy

759
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,359
Speaker 1: I that was not really like a mad remember I said,

760
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:03,839
Speaker 1: I was like dating I'm like, eh, he was kind

761
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 1: of I used to call my fake boyfriend, and it

762
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:07,440
Speaker 1: was like, oh, somebody to hang out with and to like,

763
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 1: you know, deal with, because like in the meantime I

764
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 1: actually had to doad that because I'm like Tiffany, like,

765
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:15,879
Speaker 1: you're not leaving any room for the right guy when

766
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 1: you have in the meantime hanging around, So let him go.

767
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 1: And even though it was so comfortable, so when I

768
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 1: finally let him go, I was able to like, Okay,

769
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 1: have space and room really for who apparently for coffee

770
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: that came out of nowhere. I know. So yeah, I

771
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, honestly, there's no one way. I

772
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:41,080
Speaker 1: just you know, open intention and getting out there.

773
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:45,360
Speaker 3: Yes, ma'am, okay, you owe us one thousand dollars now, no,

774
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 3: I'm kidding. Next question is from Erica. She asks, can

775
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:54,920
Speaker 3: you talk about writing goodwill letters to companies to have

776
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 3: negative marks removed from your credit report? Have you all

777
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 3: done this or know someone you have has? I love

778
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,720
Speaker 3: the show. Your website looks great too, thanks, miss Erica.

779
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 3: I will pass that on to our web developer, Miss Terry. Okay, yeah,

780
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 3: good will letters to companies to have negative marks removed

781
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 3: from credit reports. You must have dealt with this at

782
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 3: some point, I know I have.

783
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, I'll say this that you have to

784
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 1: remember when you write a good will letter that companies

785
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:26,840
Speaker 1: are under no obligation to comply, because that's really the

786
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,279
Speaker 1: purpose of the good will letters. That you're just asking, like, hey,

787
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:33,919
Speaker 1: because people think this about their credit report. That people

788
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 1: will tell me this all the time, Hey, Tiffany had

789
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,600
Speaker 1: this negative mark. I was late, but I'm on time

790
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 1: now and I'm fully paid up. Why is it still there?

791
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:46,440
Speaker 1: I'm like girl, because it happened. Your credit report is

792
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 1: supposed to be a report of what has happened, just

793
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 1: because you've made better decisions, so that better decision will

794
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:55,319
Speaker 1: be reflected along with the fact that at one point

795
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 1: you didn't make good decisions right, so you know, so

796
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:00,760
Speaker 1: you have to keep that in mind. So the company's

797
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,279
Speaker 1: not doing anything wrong by keeping your poor decisions on

798
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,399
Speaker 1: your credit report. You know, after a while they fall off,

799
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 1: but if it was just like a few months ago

800
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:10,400
Speaker 1: or a couple of years ago, they're likely still going

801
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,240
Speaker 1: to be there now. You can write a letter asking

802
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,239
Speaker 1: that they remove them, especially if you've been on time.

803
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 1: This is what I suggest to people is that if

804
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:22,399
Speaker 1: you're making like a lump some payment or paying most

805
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,400
Speaker 1: of it off, like before you make that payment, making

806
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,120
Speaker 1: that request like, Hey, I'm about to send my lump

807
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 1: some payment and know I'm late. Can I ask that

808
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:34,200
Speaker 1: you do this after I submit this payment? And sometimes

809
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 1: you can get them to agree, and then if they

810
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,479
Speaker 1: agree on paper like via email or be a letter

811
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 1: or whatever, and they don't take it off, you can

812
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:44,279
Speaker 1: send that to the credit bureaus to say, hey, they

813
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:45,680
Speaker 1: agree to take it off and they have not.

814
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:49,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you should always get a letter, some sort

815
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:52,320
Speaker 3: of letter with the agreement. But what you were talking

816
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 3: about making a lump some payment, is that like a

817
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 3: form of settling the debt, Like do you mean paying

818
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:57,960
Speaker 3: the entire thing off?

819
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 1: Well, either way, So I find that this that that

820
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,279
Speaker 1: cause I A couple of my friends, so they're, much

821
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:07,920
Speaker 1: to their shame, were actually work for like credit collection agencies,

822
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:12,080
Speaker 1: and they told me that if you're either you know,

823
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:13,800
Speaker 1: gonna pay, Like, let's just say, you know, you owe

824
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 1: thirty bucks and for whatever reason, you forgot to pay it.

825
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: So now it's on your credit report and you're just

826
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 1: gonna go ahead and pay the thirty bucks, So before

827
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:23,720
Speaker 1: doing so, working out some sort of deal, because ultimately

828
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:26,680
Speaker 1: the credit credit people that you owe, they don't care

829
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:28,920
Speaker 1: about your credit report and score. They just want their money.

830
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 1: So if you're kind of like, you know, not that

831
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:33,239
Speaker 1: you're dangling the carrot, but basically you are like, hey,

832
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 1: I've got your thirty bucks, could you guys take this

833
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:38,719
Speaker 1: off completely once I give it to you? Like I said,

834
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:40,839
Speaker 1: they don't have to, but that's something you could definitely ask.

835
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 1: But let's just say you are gonna settle because you

836
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 1: owe ten thousand and you're like, I don't have it,

837
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 1: and they've agreed to settle for three thousand. So typically

838
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 1: if they're gonna settle for three thousand, they're gonna want

839
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,759
Speaker 1: a lump some Like, no one's trying to settle for

840
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:55,359
Speaker 1: three thousand. Twenty bucks a months is what you're paying. Yeah,

841
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 1: so you know, if you're going to settle and you're

842
00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 1: gonna get them that lump some ask. Now, the more

843
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:03,880
Speaker 1: that you're settling for, the more that you're getting off,

844
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:07,399
Speaker 1: the less likely they're going to be accommodating. So you know,

845
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:09,320
Speaker 1: if you're if you owe ten and you're gonna be

846
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 1: paying fifteen hundred, they're probably gonna be like, girl, you're

847
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:13,800
Speaker 1: lucky that you don't have to pay this eighty five hundred,

848
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 1: you know. But so the more that you're kind of giving,

849
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 1: the more leeway you have to say, I'm about to

850
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 1: set this payment, but I would love in writing for

851
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:23,320
Speaker 1: you to say that you'll take this off my credit

852
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 1: report as a result, Like I said, you just it's

853
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 1: just lump sum just gives you more leeway because there

854
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:33,280
Speaker 1: is if I'm paying you month a month, then there's

855
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 1: no guarantee that I'm going to finish paying you. So

856
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 1: it's like, so why should I take this off? And

857
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 1: you're it's we have three years until you finish paying

858
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 1: this off. No, so I would, I would, you know,

859
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,920
Speaker 1: I would negotiate with a lump sum payment.

860
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 3: And it usually works best if you've already missed a

861
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:50,359
Speaker 3: bunch of payments, like when you're in delinquency, because what

862
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,839
Speaker 3: leaders will do anyway is they're eventually going to sell

863
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 3: your dut to a dut collector, and they're going to

864
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,279
Speaker 3: sell it to them for pennies on the dollar.

865
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,360
Speaker 2: For whatever it's actually worth. So they could this.

866
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 3: Sometimes they accept settlements or accept lump some payments from

867
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 3: you because they're probably going to make more money off

868
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 3: that lump some than if they were to sell it

869
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 3: to a debt collectorate.

870
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,839
Speaker 2: And they know that. But one thing exactly it can

871
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:12,279
Speaker 2: be done.

872
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 3: What I will say is if it's over a certain amount,

873
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:18,280
Speaker 3: I believe you have to that forgiven debt. The amount

874
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 3: that they forgive is treated as taxable income. So you

875
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 3: may receive a tax from the lender saying we forgave

876
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 3: you for ten thousand dollars. Now you have to report

877
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 3: this on your taxes, and you may actually have to

878
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:35,400
Speaker 3: pay taxes on that money, so it may not be

879
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 3: a completely clean break from the debt.

880
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 1: So typically it's like anything over like six hundred dollars.

881
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,720
Speaker 1: But my account did tell me if your net worth

882
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 1: is zero or negative, then you won't have to and

883
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:49,880
Speaker 1: most people's networth, like if you're if you're owing that

884
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:53,280
Speaker 1: much money, you probably don't have a network that's going

885
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 1: to force you to pay taxes on it. But still

886
00:40:56,160 --> 00:41:00,239
Speaker 1: you just never know. That's definitely a possibility.

887
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 3: Yes, ma'am. So let's do one more question. Let's see,

888
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 3: so this was a super long question. Okay, all right,

889
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,720
Speaker 3: so let's do one more question. This was a super

890
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:13,799
Speaker 3: long question. I'm just going to get to that what

891
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 3: I think is the real crux of her question, and

892
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:21,400
Speaker 3: it's from someone named Sonny. So Sonny says she's trying

893
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,600
Speaker 3: to get an apartment. She says her credit My credit

894
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 3: score has remained around six fifty five for quite some time.

895
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:29,839
Speaker 3: I pay all my bills before their due. I earn

896
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 3: over twenty five hundred dollars per month. Recently, I applied

897
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,879
Speaker 3: for a studio apartment where the rent was just seven

898
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 3: hundred and seventy five dollars a month with everything included

899
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:41,319
Speaker 3: minus electricity. Sonny, where do you live? Because I am

900
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 3: moving there because that is so cheap, She says. However,

901
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 3: the rental company came back to me and declined me.

902
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 3: They said because my credit line was so small and

903
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,840
Speaker 3: I never expanded it over the course of you know,

904
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,880
Speaker 3: using credit, and that I would require a co signer.

905
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 3: I don't know what to do, Please help me. So basically,

906
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:05,560
Speaker 3: she has a short credit history because she waited so

907
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 3: long to get her first card and then when she

908
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:10,720
Speaker 3: got it, she ran into some issues paying the bills

909
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 3: and her score is now around six fifty five.

910
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, being similar.

911
00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:20,719
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's like that because she's like at that

912
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 1: place where it's like it's not terrible, but it's not

913
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 1: that good.

914
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 2: It sucks, you know.

915
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,280
Speaker 3: So part of the question I didn't read. She says,

916
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 3: I've never bothered getting more credit because I'm in the

917
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 3: habit of couponing, saving and just buying stuff with cash.

918
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 3: And it's almost like in the in the world we

919
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,359
Speaker 3: live in today, you're almost punished if you don't use

920
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:40,240
Speaker 3: credit because you need credit to get good credit. And

921
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 3: although using cash can definitely key and it's good to

922
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 3: use cash because you're staying out of debt. When it

923
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 3: comes time to apply for things like apartments, get a

924
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:51,720
Speaker 3: car loan, mortgage loan, they want to see a long

925
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 3: sort of credit history.

926
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 2: So I feel for her.

927
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it is sucky. This is why I kind

928
00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 1: of like, I didn't understand where my dad had me

929
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 1: get like a credit card when I was eighteen in

930
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 1: college and he was like, but you're not allowed to

931
00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 1: use it for anything but books, But it was because

932
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:07,920
Speaker 1: and I still have that same credit card, and honestly,

933
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,560
Speaker 1: the credit limit now is thirty thousand dollars and I

934
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:14,440
Speaker 1: don't even I mean for me to swipe over a

935
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 1: thousand is a lot. And I use it for business

936
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:19,000
Speaker 1: and paid off in full. But I allowed it to

937
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:23,399
Speaker 1: expand like that because for that reason. It's because I knew, well, one,

938
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 1: you have to have the discipline, because you don't want

939
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 1: to have a limit of thirty thousand and not have

940
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:30,920
Speaker 1: the discipline not to spend thirty thousand. But two, I

941
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:32,839
Speaker 1: use it because I wanted to show that, like, look,

942
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 1: I can manage this level of credit available to me,

943
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:40,399
Speaker 1: So that part sucks. I would just say that, I mean,

944
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:43,960
Speaker 1: you can call your the person that you have the

945
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 1: credit card with and see if you can get an expansion.

946
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 1: But know this that asking for them to increase your

947
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 1: credit limit that might result in a harder in career.

948
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 1: So ask that because sometimes they have to look into

949
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 1: your credit to see if they're going to allot you

950
00:43:56,719 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 1: more credit. And a hard incree, a hard inquiry well

951
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:06,719
Speaker 1: temporarily lower your score. It's not for a super long time.

952
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:08,799
Speaker 3: I don't have a trade off because you do like

953
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:11,239
Speaker 3: it's helping your score by having a larger line of

954
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 3: credit available to you, But then you get that little ping,

955
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 3: the little ding on your score from asking for more money.

956
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:19,320
Speaker 1: Exactly, I feel.

957
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 3: Like my advice would be okay, So you need to

958
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,360
Speaker 3: I understand why they're asking you for a co signer.

959
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:27,799
Speaker 3: Rental apart rental companies sometimes a lot of times do

960
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 3: do credit background checks and may ask for a co signer.

961
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:33,440
Speaker 3: If no one's willing to be a co signer, you

962
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 3: might just need to find another.

963
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 2: Place to go.

964
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:37,239
Speaker 3: Well, you can write them a letter, you know. I

965
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 3: did this when I first moved to New York. I

966
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 3: had to put in an application with my landlord and

967
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 3: her lawyer, you know, did the credit background check, and

968
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 3: I didn't realize I'd never checked my credit before, and

969
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 3: my credit score was terrible because when I was in college,

970
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:53,759
Speaker 3: someone opened up a Chase credit card under my name,

971
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:56,799
Speaker 3: racked up twelve thousand dollars and never paid it. I

972
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 3: never heard about it, never knew about it because I

973
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:01,000
Speaker 3: never checked my credit and that's how I found out.

974
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:03,240
Speaker 3: He was like, I can't approve you because this happened.

975
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 3: So I had to file disputes with the credit bureaus,

976
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,880
Speaker 3: and I wrote the landlord a very long letter explaining

977
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,440
Speaker 3: what happened, showing proof that I filed a dispute, and

978
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 3: based on their own you know, they were just being basically,

979
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:15,920
Speaker 3: it was up to them and they were nice and

980
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,840
Speaker 3: they decided to take a risk on me. I also

981
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:21,759
Speaker 3: sent a letter of referral from a previous landlord who

982
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 3: said I'd always paid the rent on time and then

983
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 3: I was a good tenant, and I think that a

984
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:30,840
Speaker 3: long way toward convincing them to accept my application despite

985
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:34,399
Speaker 3: the what my credit history showed. So that's one thing

986
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 3: you could try. Either, you know, get some letters recommendation,

987
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:39,880
Speaker 3: write a letter to them explaining what you know, what

988
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:43,279
Speaker 3: your situation is, or try and find someone you know

989
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 3: who you trust and who trust you to be a

990
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:49,160
Speaker 3: co signer or you know, unfortunately you may have to

991
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 3: find somewhere else.

992
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:52,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then letters do really work because I remember

993
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:54,640
Speaker 1: when I went to buy my house, I was like

994
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:57,239
Speaker 1: twenty five, and I didn't have like a whole bunch

995
00:45:57,280 --> 00:46:00,120
Speaker 1: of like debt and credit and stuff, and so oh,

996
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:02,560
Speaker 1: I actually had to get my landlord to write a letter.

997
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 1: I had to get a notarized, and I had to

998
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,239
Speaker 1: show like bank statements showing that like, yes, on the

999
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:10,320
Speaker 1: first of every month, I made my my rent payment

1000
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:12,560
Speaker 1: for like the last two years, So that helped. That

1001
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:15,799
Speaker 1: went a long way, because ultimately, what they're really doing

1002
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:17,880
Speaker 1: is trying to figure out are you the type to

1003
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:21,760
Speaker 1: pay mm hm. So if you can show them that exactly,

1004
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 1: if you could show that that to them through alternative means,

1005
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:25,719
Speaker 1: then that should be helpful.

1006
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 2: Yes, miss Sonny, good luck to you.

1007
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 1: I like your name too, Sunny miss Sonny.

1008
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:33,200
Speaker 2: I think it was was a pseudonym, but I like

1009
00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:33,480
Speaker 2: it too.

1010
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:37,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're just gonna call you that anyway.

1011
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:42,359
Speaker 3: All right, our lovely listeners. So we have some sort

1012
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:44,560
Speaker 3: of sad news. I guess we're gonna have one we're

1013
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:48,960
Speaker 3: gonna be one podcast short for October. I believe Tiffany

1014
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:53,160
Speaker 3: for exciting reasons. I'm heading to London with my little Hermannito,

1015
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 3: my little brother today for a brother or sister trip

1016
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:58,440
Speaker 3: to London, and Miss Tiffany is going through.

1017
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:02,480
Speaker 1: Heavy yes, and I'm going to Paris and my mom

1018
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:06,879
Speaker 1: prag which I'm super excited about. I leave on next

1019
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 1: week and I'm like, yes, I've never been to Paris,

1020
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 1: although I've been to France and so yeah, So we

1021
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:15,400
Speaker 1: will be gallivanting and we won't be able to tape,

1022
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 1: but we will think of you as we enjoy Europe,

1023
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:23,319
Speaker 1: and we'll come back with some great stories and maybe

1024
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 1: some croissants. Yeah, well, we won't be able to share

1025
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:27,799
Speaker 1: them with each other. Maybe with each other.

1026
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:31,839
Speaker 3: You'll be there in spirit, listeners, So in the meantime,

1027
00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:35,239
Speaker 3: please go to Brunambition podcast dot com send us your

1028
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 3: questions comments. We've gotten a lot of lovely emails from

1029
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:39,960
Speaker 3: people lately about the show and what it means to them.

1030
00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:43,080
Speaker 3: Love the emails, but we love even more when you

1031
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:46,200
Speaker 3: take the time and leave us reviews on iTunes or

1032
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 3: wherever you listen, stitch your SoundCloud, leave us a kind

1033
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:51,239
Speaker 3: note there. It lets other people find the show and

1034
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 3: lets everyone know what you already know, which is.

1035
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:58,000
Speaker 1: That we yeah, awesome, you'll already know.

1036
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:02,520
Speaker 2: No, no, you know you know listeners.

1037
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:04,080
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, I.

1038
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:13,719
Speaker 2: For all that. Nope, you're not gonna get me. All right, well,

1039
00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:16,600
Speaker 2: bom voyage. Yeah, I wish to be luck. It's my

1040
00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 2: I haven't been to London before. I'm excited.

1041
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:21,160
Speaker 1: Okay, I think you'll enjoy. I've been twice and it's

1042
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 1: not my face.

1043
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:25,239
Speaker 2: Yeah okay, never mind, talk to you about it.

1044
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:28,879
Speaker 1: You have a good trip, all right, girl,