WEBVTT - Second Cup: Don't play ping pong with plans

0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:09.480
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:16.320
<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:21.800
<v Speaker 1>tip is to stop playing ping pong with plans. When

0:00:21.800 --> 0:00:25.200
<v Speaker 1>you are making plans with people, aim to figure out

0:00:25.239 --> 0:00:29.200
<v Speaker 1>what you are doing in the fewest number of messages possible.

0:00:30.440 --> 0:00:36.559
<v Speaker 1>Save your effort for interacting live rather than figuring out logistics.

0:00:38.360 --> 0:00:42.480
<v Speaker 1>In professional and personal contexts, it is easy to find

0:00:42.479 --> 0:00:47.479
<v Speaker 1>ourselves spending way too much time scheduling things. A colleague

0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:52.880
<v Speaker 1>sends a group email asking about availability next week. People

0:00:52.960 --> 0:00:58.440
<v Speaker 1>respond with paragraphs about their schedules, recounting vacations, dentist appointments,

0:00:58.480 --> 0:01:02.600
<v Speaker 1>big deadlines, and more hours or even days pass by

0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:06.360
<v Speaker 1>the time every one has responded, and the organizer suggests

0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:09.320
<v Speaker 1>the time that seems to work, But by that time

0:01:09.640 --> 0:01:14.800
<v Speaker 1>people's availability has changed and the process begins again. This

0:01:14.920 --> 0:01:18.959
<v Speaker 1>happens in our personal lives too. A friend suggests lunch

0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:24.080
<v Speaker 1>your game and ask when is good. She says any time,

0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:30.160
<v Speaker 1>so you suggest Tuesday at noon. Somehow any time doesn't

0:01:30.160 --> 0:01:33.920
<v Speaker 1>include Tuesday at noon, so eventually you land on Monday.

0:01:34.760 --> 0:01:37.959
<v Speaker 1>You start discussing where to go, and multiple messages later,

0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:41.319
<v Speaker 1>you've decided on a restaurant, only to realize it is

0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:46.399
<v Speaker 1>closed on Mondays, and so the ping pong continues. But

0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:49.840
<v Speaker 1>our planning procedures don't have to be quite so time consuming.

0:01:50.760 --> 0:01:55.400
<v Speaker 1>There are lots of ways to plan more efficiently. I

0:01:55.480 --> 0:01:59.480
<v Speaker 1>know some people use software like Calendly for scheduling meetings.

0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:03.000
<v Speaker 1>This can certainly be helpful if you need to schedule

0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:06.520
<v Speaker 1>a lot of one on one type calls, and you

0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:10.160
<v Speaker 1>don't want to offer three people Monday morning and then

0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:13.640
<v Speaker 1>need to circle back with each of them as times disappear.

0:02:14.840 --> 0:02:17.560
<v Speaker 1>You also don't need to hear every one's life story

0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:21.280
<v Speaker 1>as you are scheduling them. Each person can just choose

0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:24.040
<v Speaker 1>a time that you've made available that works for them.

0:02:25.400 --> 0:02:28.160
<v Speaker 1>I know some folks also use doodle polls and the

0:02:28.200 --> 0:02:32.760
<v Speaker 1>equivalent for group get togethers. These have the advantage of

0:02:32.800 --> 0:02:36.000
<v Speaker 1>allowing you to quickly see which is the most popular option,

0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:39.920
<v Speaker 1>and allowing people to specify that they are available at

0:02:39.919 --> 0:02:43.840
<v Speaker 1>a certain point but not particularly happy about it. You

0:02:43.880 --> 0:02:47.920
<v Speaker 1>can meet if need be, but the organizer knows it

0:02:47.960 --> 0:02:51.120
<v Speaker 1>is not your first choice. I love that little tweak.

0:02:52.440 --> 0:02:56.120
<v Speaker 1>But these tools don't necessarily solve all the logistical problems

0:02:56.120 --> 0:02:58.320
<v Speaker 1>such as where are your meeting or what you're doing

0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:01.960
<v Speaker 1>if those are relevant questions, and plenty of offices have

0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:06.280
<v Speaker 1>meetings go through their own scheduling software, which often suffers

0:03:06.320 --> 0:03:09.440
<v Speaker 1>from the problem of not really allowing people to state

0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:15.079
<v Speaker 1>their preferences. So before someone issues a calendar invite, they

0:03:15.120 --> 0:03:20.600
<v Speaker 1>are generally still emailing around about availability. This is definitely

0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:22.840
<v Speaker 1>going to be the case for someone you haven't met

0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:27.280
<v Speaker 1>with before, as an unsolicited calendar invite can feel a

0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:32.520
<v Speaker 1>little well aggressive, so if you are emailing, you should

0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:36.800
<v Speaker 1>have a strategy. One option is to suggest three options

0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:39.920
<v Speaker 1>and ask the other person to choose what sounds good

0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:44.160
<v Speaker 1>to them. For instance, if someone suggests lunch next week,

0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:48.520
<v Speaker 1>you could reply with, how about Monday eleven forty five

0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:52.720
<v Speaker 1>a m at the Bluebird Cafe, Chopped or India Palace.

0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:56.880
<v Speaker 1>That time might not work for the other person, but

0:03:57.000 --> 0:03:59.600
<v Speaker 1>he or she is likely to follow your lead on

0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:03.800
<v Speaker 1>specif and in the best case, is going to respond

0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:07.080
<v Speaker 1>with could you do Tuesday or Wednesday at that time

0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:11.280
<v Speaker 1>at any of those places? At that point you respond

0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:14.600
<v Speaker 1>with your favorite and your first choice of Tuesday or Wednesday,

0:04:15.200 --> 0:04:20.680
<v Speaker 1>and you're all good. The ping pong game stops if

0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:24.560
<v Speaker 1>proposing just one time feels wrong to you, feel free

0:04:24.560 --> 0:04:27.720
<v Speaker 1>to propose two to three times or small windows, but

0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:32.400
<v Speaker 1>no more. People get overwhelmed by too much choice. If

0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:34.760
<v Speaker 1>you know the other person has a bad habit of

0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:39.400
<v Speaker 1>not responding with specifics, feel free to add the helpful nudge.

0:04:39.960 --> 0:04:43.400
<v Speaker 1>If these times don't work for you, please suggest a

0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:48.400
<v Speaker 1>few that do. Ideally, this prompts the other person to

0:04:48.480 --> 0:04:52.080
<v Speaker 1>respond with two to three options that you can pick from.

0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:56.760
<v Speaker 1>If you are coordinating with more than one person and

0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:59.560
<v Speaker 1>you're not doing a poll, or you have multiple questions,

0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:04.279
<v Speaker 1>the approach of suggesting a few specific options can still work.

0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:08.920
<v Speaker 1>Ask people to reply by a specific time with all

0:05:09.000 --> 0:05:12.240
<v Speaker 1>the options that work for them. Then you can choose

0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:15.200
<v Speaker 1>the one that's the best fit and communicate the plan.

0:05:16.400 --> 0:05:19.520
<v Speaker 1>For instance, you might write by the end of the

0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:24.599
<v Speaker 1>day to day please reply just to me to let

0:05:24.600 --> 0:05:27.279
<v Speaker 1>me know whether you are available for a zoom meeting

0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:33.200
<v Speaker 1>Monday at ten, Tuesday at one, and or Thursday at nine.

0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:36.360
<v Speaker 1>Please let me know all the times that are possible

0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:39.200
<v Speaker 1>for you. Then I will see what works for everyone

0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:43.719
<v Speaker 1>and communicate the plan tomorrow morning. I have taken this

0:05:43.800 --> 0:05:47.400
<v Speaker 1>approach to scheduling a virtual meeting I do regularly with

0:05:47.560 --> 0:05:52.080
<v Speaker 1>four other people who have busy schedules. Now, I know

0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:55.279
<v Speaker 1>some people like to come across as flexible, and if

0:05:55.279 --> 0:06:00.479
<v Speaker 1>you are truly open, that's great. But often so when

0:06:00.480 --> 0:06:04.839
<v Speaker 1>people claim to be flexible, they aren't. So be kind

0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:08.760
<v Speaker 1>and cut down on the ping pong by giving some parameters.

0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:12.520
<v Speaker 1>If a friend asks where you'd like to go to lunch,

0:06:13.200 --> 0:06:17.359
<v Speaker 1>you can say I'm game for anywhere you choose, But

0:06:17.480 --> 0:06:21.520
<v Speaker 1>then you truly have to let them choose, and it

0:06:21.600 --> 0:06:25.719
<v Speaker 1>might be a restaurant in their office lobby forty five

0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:29.480
<v Speaker 1>minutes from your place of work. If you have any

0:06:29.520 --> 0:06:34.039
<v Speaker 1>sort of place preference or dietaria requirements, it truly is

0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:38.000
<v Speaker 1>nicer to just list three places that will appeal and

0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:41.560
<v Speaker 1>are reasonably priced, I mean, unless you're paying for it.

0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:45.920
<v Speaker 1>If you tell someone how about an Italian place in midtown,

0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:51.240
<v Speaker 1>this requires them to do some research. If you suggest

0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:54.960
<v Speaker 1>an Italian place, you are giving them the easy option

0:06:55.560 --> 0:07:00.880
<v Speaker 1>of just saying yes. A similar approach can work for

0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:05.599
<v Speaker 1>professional meetings too. I am currently available anytime Monday morning.

0:07:06.240 --> 0:07:10.720
<v Speaker 1>Please propose a time. Then this works. No one is

0:07:10.800 --> 0:07:13.240
<v Speaker 1>going to believe that you are free for the entirety

0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:16.640
<v Speaker 1>of the next week, so don't say it. Plus, it's

0:07:16.640 --> 0:07:20.560
<v Speaker 1>a bit overwhelming for someone trying to schedule something. I mean, really,

0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:25.840
<v Speaker 1>anywhere in the hours you might conceivably be working. If

0:07:25.840 --> 0:07:29.120
<v Speaker 1>someone gives you a range, feel free to be decisive.

0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:33.640
<v Speaker 1>It is more efficient for everyone. When a colleague says,

0:07:33.720 --> 0:07:36.280
<v Speaker 1>I am free for a zoom call anytime Wednesday or

0:07:36.320 --> 0:07:41.520
<v Speaker 1>Thursday after two, simply choose a time within that window. Great,

0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:45.800
<v Speaker 1>let's do Wednesday at two thirty. Here's a link. Now

0:07:45.840 --> 0:07:49.920
<v Speaker 1>your scheduling is done, no more ping pong. You may

0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:53.200
<v Speaker 1>think that being flexible is desirable, like, oh, yeah, Wednesday

0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:55.160
<v Speaker 1>after two works for me too, When would you like

0:07:55.200 --> 0:07:58.040
<v Speaker 1>to meet? But you are putting work back on the

0:07:58.080 --> 0:08:04.600
<v Speaker 1>other person and delaying the resolution. More ping pong. One

0:08:04.640 --> 0:08:07.520
<v Speaker 1>side note, if the person you are making plans with

0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:11.560
<v Speaker 1>sometimes takes a while to get back to you, specify

0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:14.600
<v Speaker 1>that you are currently available at the times you are offering.

0:08:15.560 --> 0:08:18.800
<v Speaker 1>That way, they won't be disappointed if several days later

0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:22.960
<v Speaker 1>your availability has changed. Of course, if we are talking

0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:25.800
<v Speaker 1>about meeting with a new potential client that you have

0:08:25.880 --> 0:08:29.400
<v Speaker 1>been pursuing for months, you may want to put calendar

0:08:29.440 --> 0:08:32.720
<v Speaker 1>holds on all the times you offer so that you

0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:35.640
<v Speaker 1>know your schedule won't have changed by the time of

0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:42.040
<v Speaker 1>the reply. By communicating clearly and acting decisively, we can

0:08:42.080 --> 0:08:46.680
<v Speaker 1>avoid sinking lots of time into plan ping pong, so

0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:49.400
<v Speaker 1>we can get on with our lives and enjoy the

0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:55.040
<v Speaker 1>plans that we have made in the meantime. This is Laura.

0:08:55.800 --> 0:09:00.120
<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of

0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:09.240
<v Speaker 1>our tak Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.

0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:12.120
<v Speaker 1>You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.

0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:16.480
<v Speaker 1>Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at

0:09:16.480 --> 0:09:21.360
<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast Pod. That's b E the number four then

0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:25.360
<v Speaker 1>Breakfast pod. You can also shoot me an email at

0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:30.040
<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast Podcasts at iHeartMedia dot com. That before Breakfast

0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:32.760
<v Speaker 1>is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much.

0:09:32.800 --> 0:09:40.920
<v Speaker 1>Should I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast

0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:45.360
<v Speaker 1>is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,

0:09:45.600 --> 0:09:49.559
<v Speaker 1>visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen

0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:54.520
<v Speaker 1>to your favorite shows.