Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio Podcast. Hi, Tricia, how
Speaker 1: are you?
Speaker 2: I'm great? How are you doing?
Speaker 3: That? Is nice to meet you.
Speaker 2: Nice to meet you virtually. I know. I was trying
Speaker 2: to think if we've ever met.
Speaker 3: I don't think we have. I don't think we've ever
Speaker 3: worked together.
Speaker 2: Our past happened crossed?
Speaker 3: I think I would remember. No, I don't think. So
Speaker 3: it's nice to meet you again.
Speaker 1: Nice to me.
Speaker 2: I love your glasses.
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you. I have a very important question before
Speaker 3: we get started.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, please anything and everything.
Speaker 3: Then I swear please to really okay, not that I'm planning.
Speaker 3: I love you that I'm planning on it, but it
Speaker 3: tends to fly out of my mouth. So I just
Speaker 3: want to make sure that that's okay, and hold on.
Speaker 3: I want to make sure they seem that I can
Speaker 3: see you better.
Speaker 2: You don't want to do that.
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 3: There you are, Hi. Hi, So do you want to
Speaker 3: start by telling me what you're struggling with or do
Speaker 3: you I know you've met with some other organizers.
Speaker 1: So yeah, my biggest thing at the moment is I
Speaker 1: have five kids.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know you're a busy mom. You're working.
Speaker 1: I have five kids, I have pets, I have a
Speaker 1: life that keeps on going whether you know stuff's here
Speaker 1: or not. So I tend to put that on the
Speaker 1: back burner, like, Okay, stuff comes in, we'll put it
Speaker 1: over there. This kid needs this, this business needs this.
Speaker 1: I gotta go work today, I gotta go film. And
Speaker 1: then that stuff never gets put away. But in the
Speaker 1: long run, we are a very close, big family in
Speaker 1: a house that I would say at this point it's
Speaker 1: less about organizing and more about deciding to remove it,
Speaker 1: let go of things, let go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's definitely.
Speaker 1: I know in the past my friends have said like, oh,
Speaker 1: are you okay to let things go?
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 1: When I was younger, I put emotional attachment on things
Speaker 1: that came in or that I had, I acquired, I
Speaker 1: recently got divorced.
Speaker 2: In the last two years.
Speaker 1: It's been a lot of change for my family and
Speaker 1: I and I definitely that is not something like I
Speaker 1: call it doing a gut check. Now when I do
Speaker 1: a gut check, I'm like, do I care about any
Speaker 1: of those stuff? I'm like, no, I just want I
Speaker 1: just need physical hands on your halfway. No one's ever
Speaker 1: told me that great I'll take it.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's half the struggle right there, the single mom thing,
Speaker 3: single working mom thing, five children part of it. That's
Speaker 3: the other part of it. But if you're already at
Speaker 3: the point where you're like, I've been holding onto this
Speaker 3: stuff and I don't know why, or I'm ready to
Speaker 3: let it go, or I only want to keep things
Speaker 3: in the house that I love, use need, you know,
Speaker 3: those three things. Everything else, it's like it's just taking
Speaker 3: up valuable real estate in your home, and it's taken
Speaker 3: away from like I mean, you know, I mean, it's
Speaker 3: like fishot butter adds to anxiety. It prevents our kids
Speaker 3: from focusing the way that they could or should be focusing.
Speaker 3: You know, it just it's a distraction. It's a visual distraction.
Speaker 3: And then plus the overwhelm and the and the how
Speaker 3: daunting it is to have to tackle that mess or
Speaker 3: that that closet or that area, it's also adds to
Speaker 3: stress and anxiety and all that stuff. So that stuff,
Speaker 3: you know, if you're already at the point where you're like,
Speaker 3: I only want to keep things in here that serve
Speaker 3: me and serve my kids, that make me happy. I
Speaker 3: don't want to say bring me joy because that's not
Speaker 3: my thing, Like that's.
Speaker 1: Something else is say.
Speaker 3: But I've always said, like, if I had to get
Speaker 3: rid of everything in my house that didn't spark joy,
Speaker 3: I'd be left with my kids in a bottle of vodka.
Speaker 3: That's it. That's all that I would have to do
Speaker 3: in my house, do you know what I mean? So
Speaker 3: it's not necessarily about sparking joy, but if you raise
Speaker 3: it and you don't love it, yeah, and you don't
Speaker 3: need it, like it's just taking up space.
Speaker 1: You know for sure?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I definitely was at the point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I said recently, like I'm fine, everything can go
Speaker 1: except anything breathing in the house.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, because exactly the thing. You know, clothes they
Speaker 3: need to wear, and food that they need to eat,
Speaker 3: and things that when you look at it, you get
Speaker 3: all happy and you know, like there's obviously other stuff
Speaker 3: besides just our kids, but most of it, I would say,
Speaker 3: most are things that they're just taking up real.
Speaker 1: Estate, you know, for sure? And for sure yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So you're at that point now where you want
Speaker 3: to and what is stopping you from aside from the
Speaker 3: time because you have five kids, I have two and
Speaker 3: I'm a single mom and I have a hard time.
Speaker 1: Finding time, whether it's five or one.
Speaker 2: It's hard.
Speaker 4: Mom wins is hard, but I would say exponentially harder
Speaker 4: the more children. Okay, give yourself, you should, absolutely, because
Speaker 4: that's a huge part of it. Like give yourself a
Speaker 4: little pat on the back because you're already you're managing
Speaker 4: so much. Already, you know, but you're already managing so much,
Speaker 4: I guess, is what I'm saying, you know, And so
Speaker 4: it's hard to find the time, just even five minutes
Speaker 4: of your own much less time to sit down and
Speaker 4: tackle a closet or an area or a room or whatever.
Speaker 3: You know. So I get it.
Speaker 1: Some slack there, need I need human hands. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: also like our brains, Like we're both creative brains, but
Speaker 1: probably our brains work slightly different because I am not
Speaker 1: an organized person by nature.
Speaker 3: Do you get your kids to school a lot of time?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Do you remember their events? Do you remember when they
Speaker 3: had an assignment to everything? So you're an organized person in.
Speaker 1: My brain, but not physically. Okay, does that make sense?
Speaker 3: Yes, I guess it does make sense. Like spatially organized,
Speaker 3: I guess there is a difference between that. But you're
Speaker 3: able to stay organized when it comes to other people,
Speaker 3: your schedule, your work schedule, You're able to be organized
Speaker 3: with your planner and all that correct. So it's really
Speaker 3: just a matter of instinctively knowing where to put something
Speaker 3: away or where something goes, or how to clean this up.
Speaker 3: Is that the distinction?
Speaker 1: I guess, So, like I wouldn't typically look at a
Speaker 1: space and be like, oh, the dishes should go in
Speaker 1: this cabinet, Like that's but I'm a super creative like
Speaker 1: design person. Yeah, but I lack that like instinct, and
Speaker 1: I don't know if that plays a role in going
Speaker 1: further where things just sometimes don't get put away.
Speaker 3: Probably because my main thaying when I'm working with clients
Speaker 3: is to put things away or to organize in such
Speaker 3: a way that it makes sense for the space. So
Speaker 3: everything in this office, stuff that I need or use
Speaker 3: in my office other than like a place to sit
Speaker 3: and something pretty to look at, Everything in here belongs
Speaker 3: in here because this is where I use it.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: If you're in the kitchen and you have it, do
Speaker 3: you have a dishwasher at your house? Okay, and you're
Speaker 3: the dishwasher, your plate, your everyday plates, your everyday glasses,
Speaker 3: your everyday utensils should be as close to the dishwasher
Speaker 3: as possible. That makes sense. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Your laundry thre thing should be close to the laundry
Speaker 3: room your Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Tricia? Yes, I just realized I have good instincts. Then, see,
Speaker 1: so I don't know what the problem is here.
Speaker 3: Well, it may be just a matter of the you're
Speaker 3: putting things away, or you unpacked things when you moved
Speaker 3: in in a way that made sense for the space.
Speaker 3: But perhaps you have too many things, some things that
Speaker 3: you don't necessarily need. Yes, and those spaces, even though
Speaker 3: it makes sense these belong here, it's too much for
Speaker 3: what the space that you have been given. Do you
Speaker 3: know what I mean? Yes, Like take a closet, sorry,
Speaker 3: go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 1: No, no, no no. For instance, it's just like kitchen every
Speaker 1: day plates, you know, cutlery, dishes, all of that, yeah, glasses, everything.
Speaker 1: This particular kitchen wasn't designed to house all of.
Speaker 2: That pretty much.
Speaker 3: Not good storage, face, not good cabinets.
Speaker 1: And so now we're leasing. But it's beautiful. So when I,
Speaker 1: when the kids and I walked in, we're like.
Speaker 2: Oh, this beautiful open kitchen.
Speaker 1: Look at the outdoors, beautiful view, open space. They can
Speaker 1: be on the couch and I was like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: put a sectional here TV. You guys can be, you know,
Speaker 1: together while I'm cooking off the kitchen. Love fell in
Speaker 1: love with it, right, And I know better at this point,
Speaker 1: Like I think I've lived in seventeen houses over the
Speaker 1: last yeah, throughout those years, so I knew that. I
Speaker 1: wasn't thinking it was like a new life for us.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't until we moved in putting stuff away,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, shoot, there's only two cabinets and they're
Speaker 1: over here. Wait where do we put the bread? There's
Speaker 1: no It was like yeah, yes, okay. So if you
Speaker 1: don't have enough storage, what do you do when you
Speaker 1: have a big family.
Speaker 3: Well, you have to rethink the storage that you've been given,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. I'm always adding shelves to
Speaker 3: existing pantries. Sometimes the pantries are built out. If you
Speaker 3: have a pantry, do.
Speaker 1: You have a pantry, It doesn't have a pantry.
Speaker 3: You don't have a fucking pantry. That's my first bomb.
Speaker 3: That's my first staff bomb, because.
Speaker 1: Do I drop it? Because I say, oh, fuck, every
Speaker 1: day there's no pantry, and then I feel guilty, like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, well I should expect a pantry, but
Speaker 1: I do have five kids. Some sort of pantry would
Speaker 1: have been great in this house.
Speaker 3: Is there a cabinet that's supposed to be used as
Speaker 3: a pantry or a weird closet of the kitchen that
Speaker 3: you don't know?
Speaker 1: Nothing, there's not, there's really not. I would say the
Speaker 1: closest thing to that would be a corner cabinet that
Speaker 1: when you open it it has like the spin around inside.
Speaker 3: I hate those, the little lazy Susan corner.
Speaker 1: Yes, that, from what I can see, is the only
Speaker 1: pantry ish And then under the counter, but the kitchen
Speaker 1: stools are there. There's a few short with.
Speaker 3: Shelves, okay, so not easy to access under the not
Speaker 3: practical okay, so those.
Speaker 1: Really counter the bread the cereal okay?
Speaker 3: And is there are there like small appliances or tupperware
Speaker 3: or things like that that are taking up prime cabinets
Speaker 3: in your kitchen? No? No, how many cabinets do we
Speaker 3: can wish? I wish you were in there right now,
Speaker 3: because those cabinets that are hard to access, like under
Speaker 3: stools under like on the kitchen island, you know, behind
Speaker 3: the stools, that's for stuff like the waffle makers and
Speaker 3: the lenders. Are the things that you don't use that often,
Speaker 3: Like that's out of the way, not easy to access,
Speaker 3: don't need it every day, maybe don't even need it
Speaker 3: every week. You know, those corner cabinets the same type
Speaker 3: of thing, like, yeah, smaller appliances, things like that.
Speaker 2: And then do you feel like it's best to start?
Speaker 1: This is I mean, this is overwhelming for anyone that,
Speaker 1: like I always said, when we move, we'll do it
Speaker 1: before we put stuff away. Yeah, But then the kids
Speaker 1: and I were moving, you know, getting a divorce. I
Speaker 1: was alone and it was like my friend Ruth Anne,
Speaker 1: who's on here, she was the only one helping me.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, So again I moved to
Speaker 1: a house that I didn't sort things out.
Speaker 2: Before we put it away.
Speaker 1: So here we are again. Do you believe now in
Speaker 1: order to start sorting through what to give away you
Speaker 1: should take everything out and see what you have?
Speaker 2: Or how does that work?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: Not all at once? No, not all one?
Speaker 1: Right I start.
Speaker 3: I literally like to start corner by corner because otherwise
Speaker 3: it's way too daunting to think about like I have
Speaker 3: to do a page one rewrite on my entire house,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. I love to I love
Speaker 3: when I get hired by somebody for an unpack and
Speaker 3: org because like it is so important before you even
Speaker 3: like settle in that first night, just knowing that everything
Speaker 3: is in a place that makes sense for that thing.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but if you didn't do that, like most people don't,
Speaker 3: that's okay, but don't think of it in terms of like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, I have to rearrange everything in one day,
Speaker 3: starting like your most problematic area of the area that
Speaker 3: every time you walk into this corner let's just call
Speaker 3: it a corner, it's like immediately you tends up, Immediately,
Speaker 3: you feel overwhelmed, Immediately you want it.
Speaker 1: It's just wonder it's where I am right now. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's I hate seeing this phrasing. It's the formal living room,
Speaker 1: which like the parlor, yeah, which takes up kind of
Speaker 1: a good chunk of the house, which moving into it,
Speaker 1: I was like two houses ago. I'm like, I'm never
Speaker 1: doing a formal living room because the kids don't use it,
Speaker 1: because the fireplace is there, the TV's not there, They're
Speaker 1: not going in there. Let's be realistic. They're all like
Speaker 1: crouched in the den that's connected to the kitchen because
Speaker 1: there's a big, big as TV. So it's this room.
Speaker 1: I'm in the corner for my podcast. I'm looking at
Speaker 1: the room.
Speaker 2: It's an open space.
Speaker 1: I can see straight on one side through to the
Speaker 1: foyer to the front door. I can see the staircase
Speaker 1: leading upstairs, and then to the right, I could see
Speaker 1: straight through to the kitchen and then a window here
Speaker 1: to the backyard.
Speaker 3: Okay, it sounds gorgeous.
Speaker 1: By the way, it's beautiful. My family doesn't use it,
Speaker 1: and now they can't use it because what happened right
Speaker 1: I got I was sick around the holidays, had like
Speaker 1: nothing major, just sinus infect number. It was ridiculous, got
Speaker 1: vertigo from it and I'm still getting over it. It was like,
Speaker 1: and you know, it's true, when mom goes down, it's like,
Speaker 1: no shit, yeah, no great, not great, but.
Speaker 2: Things.
Speaker 1: A lot of things come in for us during the holidays,
Speaker 1: which I'm grateful for, but it was kind of like, oh, Mom,
Speaker 1: can you open this box? I'm like, I can't just
Speaker 1: put in the living room. Well, now the living room
Speaker 1: has a bunch of stuff that it's like, okay, I
Speaker 1: think we got to start with this room, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so there's donations here, there's things to put away.
Speaker 3: What happened with that room is it was never assigned
Speaker 3: a purpose because you knew that the kids weren't going
Speaker 3: to be there or whatever, and so that it became
Speaker 3: like a little dumping ground thing.
Speaker 1: I love that you you could show you pictures of
Speaker 1: this room. Yeah, it was really the only one that
Speaker 1: I really decorated.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh yeah, so you decorated it.
Speaker 1: Oh, I decorated it. I didn't.
Speaker 2: I didn't do the shelves.
Speaker 1: The shelves I'm looking at them right now and there's
Speaker 1: only two sets have all of my like antiques and pieces,
Speaker 1: but it's not staged. Okay there, okay, but I did.
Speaker 1: I did put painting and I put side tables, chairs,
Speaker 1: coffee table, lamps. Yeah, it was really pretty.
Speaker 3: And the couple months to entertain in there or to
Speaker 3: do your podcast, like what what instead of they gave
Speaker 3: it as a formal living m h, you're using it
Speaker 3: for your podcast? What would you call it? Let's take away? Well,
Speaker 3: I was going to say take away the formal living room.
Speaker 3: Idear wait, what did you say? Did I message out?
Speaker 2: I said it was a joke, shittle, I did need
Speaker 2: a joke.
Speaker 3: It's I guess, a huge space.
Speaker 1: I'm assuming when we were moving and it happened fast,
Speaker 1: and I had it was it was a lot of
Speaker 1: pressure and chaos, and I had one night where I
Speaker 1: was laying in bed. I was like, okay, before we moved.
Speaker 1: We were in an airbnb before and I was like,
Speaker 1: when we move into this house, and I had pictures
Speaker 1: of all the empty rooms, I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: I was like, I know, a formal living room, it's
Speaker 1: not going to matter. So I did think shed turned
Speaker 1: it into like a playroom for the kids, like a
Speaker 1: gaming room. Okay, I wasn't sure, but it's such a
Speaker 1: huge room. But it's an open room, so you hear everything.
Speaker 3: Okay, can I ask a cup two questions? How, of course?
Speaker 3: Is how old are they?
Speaker 1: Eighteen seventeen, fourteen, thirteen and eight?
Speaker 3: Okay, so playround probably, I mean maybe the eight year old,
Speaker 3: but I mean I'm assuming that she he.
Speaker 1: But when I say playroom, I don't mean like a
Speaker 1: kid's playroom, something that's functional. They could play board games,
Speaker 1: they could we were going to put a table, a
Speaker 1: gaming table so they could play like you know, backham
Speaker 1: and chests and not be like over there. And then
Speaker 1: I was gonna put maybe a TV and they could
Speaker 1: do their gaming here. Do you didn't I changed into
Speaker 1: a formal living room that no one will ever see.
Speaker 1: And I don't know why.
Speaker 3: The badass boss lady like, why if you do your
Speaker 3: podcast in there? My guess is that your kids have
Speaker 3: a ton of space that is their own. And no,
Speaker 3: they have their bedroom off of the kitchen, the.
Speaker 2: Little Yeah, it's like a corner connected to the kitchen.
Speaker 1: It's one room.
Speaker 3: Do you have a space that's just your own?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, And it's not ideal, Like right now doing this podcast,
Speaker 1: I'm in the corner of this open space, first floor
Speaker 1: formal living room.
Speaker 2: Like I said, I could see every into the house.
Speaker 1: So it's non ideal, like a home office would be
Speaker 1: great because anyone comes to the door, you know, yes,
Speaker 1: deliver's a package. The dog barks, the door unlock, someone
Speaker 1: opens it. My kids are going in and out upstairs, downstairs,
Speaker 1: they want to go get some to eat. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm doing a podcast, but it's like that's not fair.
Speaker 3: No, But but you like doing your podcast in there,
Speaker 3: even if you do not like doing.
Speaker 1: I do not like doing it here, and they're now
Speaker 1: working to the bar.
Speaker 3: I hate doing this podcast.
Speaker 1: I love doing this podcast. I do not like this corner.
Speaker 3: Would you use the room if you weren't stuck in
Speaker 3: the corner, Would you use it as a podcast as
Speaker 3: a podcast room if you weren't stuck in the corner.
Speaker 1: No, because it's an open stated like it's wide open,
Speaker 1: and I don't think it's fair to a family as
Speaker 1: big as ours that. And also there's times when I
Speaker 1: want to be talking about stuff freely, and I still
Speaker 1: do because I'm me, But I don't want every all
Speaker 1: my kids to hear.
Speaker 3: You know it's like yeah, I got it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But with a family of five, it's really to me,
Speaker 1: I feel like kind of unrealistic to we were I
Speaker 1: felt we were lucky to five find a five bedroom
Speaker 1: to lease in La in our in our school district,
Speaker 1: right for the price we pay, that's amazing, it's affordable.
Speaker 1: And but to find a six bedroom house like that's
Speaker 1: never going to happen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So it's challenging.
Speaker 3: Specially so that might be some an issue or a
Speaker 3: problem that you want to address a year from now
Speaker 3: or what. Let's just focus on the now part, which
Speaker 3: is this corner in this room that you're sitting in
Speaker 3: right now, which has become kind of like the dumping ground.
Speaker 3: To do with it whatever?
Speaker 1: Right? Yeah.
Speaker 3: So one of the things I like to tell my clients,
Speaker 3: which is, like, things come into our house all the time,
Speaker 3: all day, every day, whether it's an Amazon package, whether
Speaker 3: it's gifts, whether it's purchases, whatever, anythink that's not food related, right, Gifts, purchases, packages.
Speaker 3: Kind of a rule of thumb here is that if
Speaker 3: if it's something, if it's not something that you're so
Speaker 3: excited about, so excited to use, so excited to wear
Speaker 3: that you immediately unpack it and put it on, or
Speaker 3: immediately unpack it and display it, or immediately unpack it
Speaker 3: and put away because you.
Speaker 5: Know you're gonna need it tomorrow or something you probably
Speaker 5: will never use it. So so I like to tell
Speaker 5: people the second you bring something in, and that could
Speaker 5: be junk mail, it could be every day mail, it
Speaker 5: could be a package, whatever, immediately open, throw away, or
Speaker 5: recycle the end of lopes, throw recycle.
Speaker 3: The boxes, and then what do I do with this thing?
Speaker 3: Do I love it? Am I keeping it?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: No, I love it. I'm totally keeping right. Where does
Speaker 3: it go? It's a specially, it's going in the kitchen. Okay,
Speaker 3: it's a pair of jeans is going in my closet.
Speaker 1: So okay, this is all my theory BECs. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to wrap my head around this. So if you bring
Speaker 1: in something new, But what if you bring in something new.
Speaker 2: I know what you're gonna say, but you don't have
Speaker 2: space for it.
Speaker 1: But you love that piece and you want to keep it,
Speaker 1: then you're going to say you need to make take
Speaker 1: things out.
Speaker 2: What if you don't have time.
Speaker 3: Well, I think you don't have time. If you think
Speaker 3: of it like we said said before, if you're thinking
Speaker 3: about the terms of like every room needs to be
Speaker 3: cleared of stuff that I don't use or don't want
Speaker 3: or don't need. Right, if you're thinking about like as
Speaker 3: a whole house project, it's way too overwhelming, especially for
Speaker 3: a working single mother of fun that you can't you
Speaker 3: have to be like, okay today and I'm going to
Speaker 3: make space in this corner of the parlor and I'm
Speaker 3: going to spend two hours doing it. Tops like literally
Speaker 3: just make quick decisions and have somebody helping you. That's
Speaker 3: what I do, or a friend or whoever, quick decisions
Speaker 3: about it everything. Do you love it, do you use it?
Speaker 3: Do you need it? The answer is no. Where's it
Speaker 3: going to go? Is it going? Is it leaving the
Speaker 3: house with your friend or your organizer to be domained?
Speaker 3: Is it going into your car in a bag for
Speaker 3: a friend because you know they're gonna love it, But
Speaker 3: you've got to get it out of that room and
Speaker 3: just think of it in terms of little projects. Start
Speaker 3: where you are, you know what I mean, it's just
Speaker 3: two hours do that, and then I'm telling you that's momentum,
Speaker 3: like just clearing that one space that I'm pointing over
Speaker 3: here because you said it's this eyeline, it's this corner, right,
Speaker 3: m hm right, Because so just clearing that is going
Speaker 3: to You're going to feel lighter, and it's going to
Speaker 3: motivate you to tackle the next corner, or the next cabinet,
Speaker 3: or the next closet, little baby sets. So don't think
Speaker 3: i've in terms of the whole house page one rewrite.
Speaker 3: That's you'll never do it.
Speaker 1: It's too much, right and predominantly right now, it is
Speaker 1: this one room. Yeah, it's become a catch all for everything.
Speaker 3: Right, So, so, yeah, do you have people offering help
Speaker 3: right now? Do you want me to come over? Yeah,
Speaker 3: with a bottle of wine.
Speaker 1: I feel bad asking my friends because I feel like
Speaker 1: they have their own lives, they have kids, they have animals,
Speaker 1: and it's like or they they'll say like, great, I'll
Speaker 1: come over, but then life happens. It's like, oh my god, no,
Speaker 1: I have to take this kid to the doctor, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, this work thing came up. Let's do it
Speaker 1: next week. And they're like, okay, let me know, and
Speaker 1: then just you.
Speaker 3: Know, right, And that, quite honestly, is that's why. That's
Speaker 3: why professional organizers exist.
Speaker 1: It's better, like that's why.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And it's also easier set a date and just
Speaker 3: do it for us to keep you on tasks. It's
Speaker 3: easier to get distracted when you're when you're doing it
Speaker 3: with a friend. And I agree, you don't want to
Speaker 3: take away from their lives.
Speaker 1: But what if we become friends, then what happens? I
Speaker 1: promise to keep me on tasks?
Speaker 3: Yes, and as your new best friend, I know how
Speaker 3: good it's going to be for you to clear this space. Definitely,
Speaker 3: well good, It's going to be for you mentally, physically,
Speaker 3: all of that. It just it just is. It's you know,
Speaker 3: how old are your kids. They're seventeen and fifteen and
Speaker 3: most certainly drunk, most certainly what trying to kill me?
Speaker 2: Oh, trying to kill you?
Speaker 1: You're right now, but yeah, yeah, they tend to do that.
Speaker 3: Like it changes, not just dayly, like on a moment
Speaker 3: by moment basis when you're within them. So yes, it's hard,
Speaker 3: and you have five of that.
Speaker 1: It's interesting because people say they understand, but I don't
Speaker 1: know if they really do understand unless you're in it,
Speaker 1: and I don't. I don't know, And so I'm very
Speaker 1: like when people are like, oh, come on, you can
Speaker 1: do this for one hour, you can make this plan.
Speaker 1: You can, I want to say, like, you know, they
Speaker 1: just don't. They're not in my life. Yeah, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: second by second, so they don't quite understand. So I
Speaker 1: try to give that grace. But it really is a
Speaker 1: moving piece my life. It's never a still standstill like it's.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and I think only single mind. There are
Speaker 3: single dads too, and I want to give them a
Speaker 3: shad out because it's just hard when you're a single
Speaker 3: parent period, yes, but I think it's just different for moms,
Speaker 3: Like there's just something like we can't like they have
Speaker 3: a bad morning, we hold on to that all day.
Speaker 3: It affects everything for the rest of the day, even
Speaker 3: if they forget it, like the second they get to school.
Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean? Like, there's just an emotional.
Speaker 1: I know exactly what you mean. And I suffer from that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: We take on their energy and then they'll be over it.
Speaker 1: My daughter will confide in me in something, and then
Speaker 1: it'll be in the morning and that night I'll talk
Speaker 1: to and he's like, are you okay?
Speaker 2: What's wrong?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, shoot, I can't sleep at night.
Speaker 1: I'll be sitting there just like not only thinking about
Speaker 1: what do the kids have coming up? What am I
Speaker 1: you know, did I forget anything, but also their emotions
Speaker 1: that whole day, what they're navigating, their relationships, their friends,
Speaker 1: their you know, boyfriend or girlfriend. It's like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: now taking on more two of my oldest kids, my
Speaker 1: son has a girlfriend and my daughter has a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: And so I feel like, now, you know, those are
Speaker 1: like my extended family. Yes, I love them, love them
Speaker 1: so grateful, but it's like, Okay, so now I have
Speaker 1: seven kids, you know, it's like.
Speaker 3: At your house all the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Also if you are, I.
Speaker 1: Take on everyone's emotions and then I can't shake it off.
Speaker 1: And I don't know why.
Speaker 3: I don't know why we do this to ourselves. Like
Speaker 3: I'm still on the fence about having kids, and I
Speaker 3: have them and I don't. It's the hardest thing in.
Speaker 1: The world, and their most rewarding things and the most
Speaker 1: rewarding It's hard. It's a hard thing to juggle. There's
Speaker 1: no manuals. I feel like it gets harder as they
Speaker 1: get older, not easier.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it does. It's it's in a totally different way
Speaker 3: because at least when they were little, we could like
Speaker 3: we had some control over you know, their hygiene and
Speaker 3: what they ate, how they fed themselves, how they took
Speaker 3: care of themselves, did they get enough sleep, their screen time,
Speaker 3: all of that stuff. And then they're older. God, if
Speaker 3: only I could you know, take control of that, which
Speaker 3: can't anyway, you know.
Speaker 1: Right, we had like physical control, and we don't have
Speaker 1: that as they get older. So we're trying to like
Speaker 1: do the emotional control and make sure everything's okay and
Speaker 1: it's just, yeah, it's challenging.
Speaker 2: Yeah, going back to my living room.
Speaker 3: I'm really liking this tangent. But I do want to
Speaker 3: say one more thing about that, though, because I do
Speaker 3: think that being a single mom of five is a
Speaker 3: huge piece of this, and as a single mom, I
Speaker 3: can speak from experience that, like, if you're not figuring
Speaker 3: out and your extremely busy schedule life, figuring out a
Speaker 3: small teeny tiny space that is just your own and
Speaker 3: a small teeny tiny chunk of time that is just
Speaker 3: for you. So but it's so important, honest to God,
Speaker 3: for our mental health, it's so important. And that also,
Speaker 3: like freeing that up and giving yourself just those two
Speaker 3: tiny little gifts helps with the space and helps with
Speaker 3: the stuff and all of that because you're taking care
Speaker 3: of yourself first in a small way, and then it
Speaker 3: trickles over, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: And I do.
Speaker 3: When my kids were younger, I decided to start waking
Speaker 3: up thirty minutes before the I woke up or before
Speaker 3: I had less you, Yeah, and just to have my
Speaker 3: coffee in peace and like read the news or I
Speaker 3: don't do a couple sit ups. I don't know something
Speaker 3: anything that was just for me before they woke up.
Speaker 3: But my point is I've never regretted doing that, taking
Speaker 3: that half hour in the morning and then a space
Speaker 3: that's just my own. And like, even if it's just
Speaker 3: those little things, I want you to try and do that,
Speaker 3: it's so you're taking care of so many other people
Speaker 3: and so many other things that it's just.
Speaker 2: I'm currently my space. My space is my car right now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, just sit on your.
Speaker 2: But it's more it's like my office too.
Speaker 1: Like I will pick up a child, bring the child home,
Speaker 1: get them inside, sit in my driveway and I can
Speaker 1: see in here, so I know, you know, he go
Speaker 1: upstairs to other siblings or home, and then my oldest
Speaker 1: daughter will come out. She's like, they're always worried.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, she's okay, Mammy.
Speaker 1: She's like, mom everything because she knows anything could happen
Speaker 1: in my life. You know, everything blows. Yeah, Mom, everything okay.
Speaker 1: And I said, oh yeah, it's just it's quiet in here.
Speaker 1: There's no kids, you know, talking, screaming, walking dogs, barking, cats,
Speaker 1: me owing. I'm getting emails and I'm like, I'm being
Speaker 1: really productive, but I'm literally in my car, in my
Speaker 1: own driveway.
Speaker 3: That's okay, whatever works. Whatever works.
Speaker 1: I always say I should set up a ring light
Speaker 1: in there, I should set up a station. Like I'm
Speaker 1: not doing this while I'm driving people. I'm literally parked
Speaker 1: in my driveway, but I'll be in there for like
Speaker 1: thirty minutes taking care of work.
Speaker 3: It's like that is That's exactly what I'm talking about though.
Speaker 3: If that's the only space that you can find that,
Speaker 3: it is just great.
Speaker 1: But it's not me time, like I'm well, not exactly,
Speaker 1: like I'm not listening to music, I'm not meditating.
Speaker 2: I'm like getting shit done. I'm doing work.
Speaker 3: That's okay because that's quiet load of it. Still, that's
Speaker 3: still lightning a load which has a business and mental
Speaker 3: positive physical and mental effect. Right, getting stuff done is
Speaker 3: self care.
Speaker 2: Okay, I like that, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah, back to the living room. Yes, no, So anyway,
Speaker 3: that's what I think you set aside too.
Speaker 1: We always know a good callback back to living.
Speaker 3: But it's all doable. I just you know, you understand
Speaker 3: why you're in this position. It's normal. You're a mom
Speaker 3: and you know like it happens. So you just got
Speaker 3: to make a commitment to start set aside two hours
Speaker 3: and have somebody come and help you. And if you
Speaker 3: want it to be me, I will do it happily.
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: Oh can I go back really quick? When you said,
Speaker 1: like put a bag and put in your car, Yeah,
Speaker 1: have stuff. So there's two giant bags that about six
Speaker 1: months ago, I would say. I went through my closet,
Speaker 1: which is just like one of those movable doors fighting thing.
Speaker 1: It's not a bit.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Another thing.
Speaker 1: When I came and looked at the house, I was like,
Speaker 1: it's perfect, it's beautiful. My bedroom's cool. Didn't look good
Speaker 1: at the closets, the closet space all around, like my kids,
Speaker 1: I think have a bigger closet than I know, which
Speaker 1: is crazy literally, but I was like, okay, here's clothes
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna wear. But there were you know, I've
Speaker 1: worn them before sometimes, as you know as an actress,
Speaker 1: like you wear someone to an event, there's a photograph,
Speaker 1: you can't not you can't wear it again, but not
Speaker 1: for a while. And so I'm like, oh, let me
Speaker 1: share with my friends.
Speaker 2: They would love it.
Speaker 1: So I put like two huge bags together and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to my friend's house. When I see
Speaker 1: her and I put it in my car. I was
Speaker 1: six months ago. Those two bags are still in my car.
Speaker 3: Have you seen your friends?
Speaker 1: No, I've not seen her, but I'm like, I still
Speaker 1: have this bag for her, and I'm like, what am
Speaker 1: I doing?
Speaker 3: You just do it? I mean, if if I were you,
Speaker 3: I would say, hey, I've had these two bags in
Speaker 3: my car.
Speaker 1: She didn't ask me for it, though, I'm just something
Speaker 1: I am doing, Yeah, I would. I drive my Goodwill
Speaker 1: multiple times a week, and in the back of my head,
Speaker 1: I'm like rushing somewhere. I'm like, I should just take
Speaker 1: those two bags there, Like was it a nice thought
Speaker 1: to give it to my friend?
Speaker 2: Yes, but it's not happening in six months.
Speaker 3: Just give it to good Will?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, So I just it's things like that that
Speaker 1: I just need to just do.
Speaker 3: So piggyback it onto another errand do you know what
Speaker 3: I mean? Like if there's a there's another spot nearby
Speaker 3: that you know you have to go to next week,
Speaker 3: put in your calendar, drop stuff like right before that appointment,
Speaker 3: you know, I drop a Goodwill you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Like sort of tack it on to another. I'm constantly
Speaker 3: making donations for clients, So I'm always having to do
Speaker 3: that and I literally think in terms of, oh shit,
Speaker 3: well I have to go to the ups, so I'm
Speaker 3: also going to go to you know, and that kind
Speaker 3: of helps. But yes, I agree with you, like if
Speaker 3: you've been holding onto it because it's it's stuff that
Speaker 3: she may or may not like, but it's been six months,
Speaker 3: I've just been get rid of it. Yeah, and you're
Speaker 3: going to make somebody super happy once you find it.
Speaker 3: I could, will you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: What other things are you going on to?
Speaker 2: That's it? Everything else?
Speaker 1: I just and that one I'm only holding on too
Speaker 1: because I put in the car and just haven't gone
Speaker 1: to her house.
Speaker 3: But when you had the right idea, you really have
Speaker 3: needed to. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. So now I just need someone that's gonna
Speaker 1: have the time and just be like help me focus
Speaker 1: and be like, okay, right now I'm going to do this,
Speaker 1: keep donate gift like yep, yep, and then move it out.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And I'm telling you, I think I know that
Speaker 3: you're leasing it so in your mind that that space
Speaker 3: might be temporary, that's a good.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: And at that part of it where you kind of
Speaker 3: don't want to get rid of consciously.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not that I don't want to get rid of it, No,
Speaker 1: you know what, You're right. Like, for instance, there's a
Speaker 1: chair that doesn't really fit in this living room. But
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, we don't own this house. I don't
Speaker 1: know how long we're staying in this house. Is it
Speaker 1: a year, is it two years?
Speaker 2: Is it five years? I'm not sure. But that's a
Speaker 2: really great chair. What if the next house I need
Speaker 2: it in?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right. There are a few pieces like that.
Speaker 1: Like I'm looking at one chair right now, but it
Speaker 1: shouldn't be in here. But I'm like, oh, I really
Speaker 1: love that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you just said the magic words. I mean,
Speaker 3: if it's one or two pieces that you really love,
Speaker 3: keep it, then keep it kind of place for it,
Speaker 3: find a room for it, whatever, there's no is it
Speaker 3: taking up space or does it just not look right
Speaker 3: in that room both? Is it just sort of like
Speaker 3: haphazardly kind of sitting around before? Hi?
Speaker 1: I'm looking at her right now, all right, But there's
Speaker 1: just a lovely antique leather chair though that I love.
Speaker 1: But she just doesn't go in this room.
Speaker 3: And there's no space for her in this anywhere else? Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't know. I mean, I'm not going to tell
Speaker 3: you to get rid of a fabulous chair that you've
Speaker 3: had for years that you are madly in love with.
Speaker 3: I just won't. I'd rather have you turned that corner
Speaker 3: into a cute little reading nook that serves the chair. Honestly, Like,
Speaker 3: but I think right now, are you putting stuff on it?
Speaker 1: Is that part of the yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right. So you clear the space of everything
Speaker 3: that is never not going to be used in that
Speaker 3: room or enjoyed in that room by looking at it
Speaker 3: or right, and that chair becomes its own little nook
Speaker 3: reading nook. That's where you have to love your coffee
Speaker 3: in the morning, you know, like put it a nice
Speaker 3: throw over it and a reading lamp or something and
Speaker 3: just have your coffee there. I don't know, give it
Speaker 3: a honor it, you love it so much, Honor it.
Speaker 3: Make it work in that space, you know, But first
Speaker 3: you get it, get rid of the stuff that's covering it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I agree, that makes sense.
Speaker 3: It does, and then just kind of go room by
Speaker 3: room in that way, like Okay, this weekend it's the space,
Speaker 3: and then next weekend it's the space, or you know,
Speaker 3: and I also really like to do kind of like
Speaker 3: an end of day sweep, so that wherever your special
Speaker 3: space is, wherever you have your coffee in the morning,
Speaker 3: if you decide to do that before the kids wake up,
Speaker 3: you want to make sure that whole space is clear,
Speaker 3: kitchen counters are clear, there's no dishes in the sink,
Speaker 3: even if it takes ten minutes, just like end of
Speaker 3: day sweeps, and when you're walking, you're starting your day
Speaker 3: in the space.
Speaker 1: But again, this sounds good in theory, I know, well,
Speaker 1: it's just it's hard. It's almost like, you know, at times,
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm running a restaurant, you know, like yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm the cook, I'm cleaning up it's.
Speaker 3: And then you're exhausted at the end of the night,
Speaker 3: and so that's the last thing that you want to do, right,
Speaker 3: But yeah, there's some things that only we can do.
Speaker 3: We're the mom. And I think part of your problem,
Speaker 3: like what you were talking about with your kitchen is
Speaker 3: part of the problem is your that space is not
Speaker 3: working for you because you don't have the cabinet space
Speaker 3: or whatever. So I think after that corner, the kitchen
Speaker 3: is super important. That's the hub of the home, right
Speaker 3: the heart of that home. So I think creating that
Speaker 3: space in the kitchen, figuring out how to maximize the story.
Speaker 2: To one whole side of the kitchen.
Speaker 1: They did open windows instead of cats so that you
Speaker 1: could see the beautiful view.
Speaker 3: Which probably adds to how pretty the kitchen is, but that.
Speaker 1: It does, but it literally took off one whole side
Speaker 1: of the kitchen.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, this is a really dumb question. But you
Speaker 3: have five kits. You probably have a ton of like
Speaker 3: plates and a ton of mugs and a ton of
Speaker 3: glasses because you need them. I'm a family of free
Speaker 3: so I don't need more than like six, you know,
Speaker 3: But is there a way to purge in your kitchen
Speaker 3: as well?
Speaker 1: Definitely I have done. Okay that I have done, but
Speaker 1: still just housing. Yeah, plates, glasses, bowls, cutlery, everything, you know, spices,
Speaker 1: everything for so I can cook as we cook a
Speaker 1: lot for five children and their friends. It's more than
Speaker 1: the space we have to put stuff. Yeah, and that's
Speaker 1: never going to change like again momentarily.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well I was just gonna say, if you want to,
Speaker 3: like send me a video or a picture and I
Speaker 3: can you know of just the space that you do
Speaker 3: have you know, I'd love to give you some thoughts
Speaker 3: or some suggestions of ways to maximize it. I mean,
Speaker 3: like it's it's not an uncommon problem, you know, but
Speaker 3: i'd have to just see it to to give you
Speaker 3: some advice. But that is a that is a problem,
Speaker 3: that's just not an uncommon one. And they're interested, you know.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I know my marching orders now.
Speaker 3: Yes, which are repeat that place.
Speaker 1: I'm going to start with a corner. I'm going to
Speaker 1: set two hours aside. I'm going to do I can't
Speaker 1: rewrite the whole story, especially since I don't even know
Speaker 1: the ending yet. And it can that was good any
Speaker 1: it can go on anywhere which way I wanted to.
Speaker 1: But at this point in the storyline, I can start
Speaker 1: to make slow changes.
Speaker 2: I do need people to help me.
Speaker 1: To organize and then to remove. Yeah, and I'm going
Speaker 1: to start with this living room.
Speaker 3: Okay, and I do you did great? And also I
Speaker 3: just want you to repeat this. It's okay to ask
Speaker 3: for help.
Speaker 2: You lost me there.
Speaker 1: No, I'm just kidding. I'm learning. I'm trying. I'm trying
Speaker 1: so hard. It's just going to be the year of
Speaker 1: me asking for help because you know, just doing it
Speaker 1: all on my own. You know when they say it
Speaker 1: takes the village, it takes a village, and once in
Speaker 1: a while, we can't do it all on our own.
Speaker 3: And I at this point there's also part of it,
Speaker 3: and I know you probably have to go, but like
Speaker 3: there's part of it. Where as single moms, I'm going
Speaker 3: to pull that card again. As single moms, it's there's
Speaker 3: almost like we have to prove to our children. We
Speaker 3: want them to see us doing it all by ourselves.
Speaker 3: Like I don't need no stigma. I'm like, I, whatever
Speaker 3: it is, whatever, I want them to see me killing
Speaker 3: the spiders, me taking the or you know, saving that
Speaker 3: from spiders, me taking the bins out, me fixing you know,
Speaker 3: using my drill and fixing something like yeah. So we
Speaker 3: get so into this pattern of like I want to
Speaker 3: prove to them we can do anything right, you know
Speaker 3: that we and that filters into our like I'm not
Speaker 3: going to ask adults for help. I'm not going to
Speaker 3: ask anybody for help. I want to prove to everybody,
Speaker 3: including myself, that I can do everything by myself. But
Speaker 3: like at some point it's at the expense of like
Speaker 3: our own sanity, and mental health and so we can.
Speaker 3: And the people in your life want to help you,
Speaker 3: and that's something I'm trying to get better at. You know,
Speaker 3: the people who love us want to help us, but
Speaker 3: they can't unless we.
Speaker 2: Ask ye angry, Yeah, Tricia, thank you.
Speaker 3: Thank you Annie. If you have any questions, please call
Speaker 3: me or text me or whatever.
Speaker 2: I would love to Yeah, I would love to stay
Speaker 2: in contact.
Speaker 3: I would love to too. This was a pleasure, and
Speaker 3: you're going to be okay, I'll.
Speaker 1: Go for sure, of course, I always am.
Speaker 3: Yes, got to get this stuff at the house, all right,
Speaker 3: make the date, okay, mon as soon as we hang up,
Speaker 3: make the date. Okay, Thank you, Janks Tooring, bye bye. Mmmmmmm.