WEBVTT - Shadow Work & The Dark Feminine Feat. The Trap Witch 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.480 I could teach anybody how to embrace their sexuality without 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:07.240 showing my skin or even talking like that. But yes, 0:00:07.280 --> 0:00:09.200 we have to understand that. When we were talking about 0:00:09.200 --> 0:00:12.040 like pop your throat pussy earlier, I was telling you know, 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:15.440 I tell people like your throat resembles the inside of 0:00:15.440 --> 0:00:18.360 our vagina, and so your throat is the second thing 0:00:18.400 --> 0:00:22.320 that gives birth, and you're constantly giving birth. So whenever 0:00:22.360 --> 0:00:26.200 you're casting spells over your life, you're giving birth to 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:29.319 what you want in your world. So that's sexuality. You know, 0:00:29.520 --> 0:00:32.800 Sacral energy is not only just like how you use 0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:36.600 your vagina, it's also how you're able to manifest to create. 0:00:58.960 --> 0:01:02.240 Welcome back to good Night, Bad Choices, America, and I'm Meila. 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:07.039 Happy Wednesday, Happy Hemp Day, bitches. You guys were in 0:01:07.080 --> 0:01:10.160 Atlanta right now. We're at the sci Content House, a 0:01:10.240 --> 0:01:14.200 girl Samaya aka Sexual Essentials aka Boss ass Bitch, who 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:16.920 has a content house in Atlanta. So if you're on 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:19.840 YouTube right now, make sure you go check out the 0:01:19.920 --> 0:01:22.120 STI Content House. If you're on YouTube, make sure you 0:01:22.160 --> 0:01:25.880 subscribe because I always tell y'all, but we always look 0:01:25.920 --> 0:01:28.640 really fine. You put on makeup and today my titties 0:01:28.640 --> 0:01:31.280 are out because I always have the titties out for Samaya, 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:32.080 and she is happy. 0:01:32.080 --> 0:01:32.880 She's here right now. 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:36.240 She's actually sitting behind the cameras looking like she's watching Netflix. 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:37.120 Watching this episode. 0:01:37.160 --> 0:01:39.680 You might be watching porn from this position. She's looking 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:40.720 very comfortable. 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:46.679 She has a dad hat on a blanket, and I 0:01:46.880 --> 0:01:48.080 crust boogers. 0:01:51.760 --> 0:01:52.680 Blast my friend. 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:57.200 But I still bust some cities out for y'all. So 0:01:57.440 --> 0:01:59.680 we're on intube right now. Make sure you go check 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:00.240 us out. 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:03.680 Every time I think of Atlanta, I was thinking, welcome 0:02:03.680 --> 0:02:05.680 to Atlanta, where the play is play. 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:07.720 But I'm just not like a player anymore. 0:02:07.720 --> 0:02:09.440 I got here and I said, let me call my hose, 0:02:09.480 --> 0:02:12.639 and I said, I'm not a player no more. 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:13.840 Because I have some zero hose. 0:02:14.280 --> 0:02:16.000 I barely have any friends. I only have two friends. 0:02:16.000 --> 0:02:17.160 I was like, I'm gonna go spend time with all 0:02:17.160 --> 0:02:19.240 my friends. I'm gonna go early. And then I got here. 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:20.240 I started looking through my phone. 0:02:20.360 --> 0:02:22.639 Then you realized you can't the hold are not your friends. 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:23.680 You can't call them anymore. 0:02:23.720 --> 0:02:25.320 Yeah. I realized that because as soon as I was 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:26.600 like trying to hit up people, he was like, can 0:02:26.600 --> 0:02:27.280 I eat your pussy. 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:30.720 I was like, no, no, I was just trying to 0:02:30.720 --> 0:02:32.960 get a free dinner. But no, now I can't even 0:02:32.960 --> 0:02:36.040 do that. You stupid, but just kidding? 0:02:36.080 --> 0:02:37.560 Are you last to get free dinners? Still? 0:02:37.800 --> 0:02:38.040 Is that? 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:38.200 Like? 0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:40.240 Is that a I didn't learn Orlando have like an 0:02:40.280 --> 0:02:41.960 agreement that both of you guys can get free dinners. 0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:42.760 I didn't ask. 0:02:43.200 --> 0:02:44.200 You usually don't ask. 0:02:44.400 --> 0:02:46.320 You don't ask if you want, if you want it 0:02:46.320 --> 0:02:48.440 to be a yes, you just do it and then 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:50.400 you are you just you just get in trouble later 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:52.120 you don't. I was gonna get trouble because it was 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:53.800 just going to be a free meal. I wasn't going 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:56.920 to be like a head giving session. So that's why 0:02:56.960 --> 0:02:59.600 I couldn't even get the meal, because I cut it. 0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:02.680 Because I'm an adult now, I'm a thirty five year 0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:07.400 old retired semi ho not a full time hume. Just 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:09.280 a hell for your man, just a help for my man, 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:11.000 which is, you know, it's working out very well. I'm 0:03:11.000 --> 0:03:12.480 doing a lot of host shit over there. I might 0:03:12.520 --> 0:03:15.160 be like the biggest hope of my lifetime just in 0:03:15.200 --> 0:03:16.000 my relationship. 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:16.960 I love that for you. 0:03:17.240 --> 0:03:19.800 Thinks doing a lot of host shit at my house 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:21.519 and every crevice. 0:03:23.639 --> 0:03:25.080 I'll make a note of that when I'm sitting on 0:03:25.080 --> 0:03:25.519 the couch. 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:27.920 You already knew that, girl, I know. 0:03:28.000 --> 0:03:30.480 But like people wiping down things. 0:03:31.960 --> 0:03:35.280 First of all, alas have access at their own house 0:03:35.320 --> 0:03:37.440 thinking about like, let me last saw this when my 0:03:37.480 --> 0:03:38.040 guests come over. 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:39.160 I'm just last. 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:41.280 Quarter, so I've been thinking about this. 0:03:41.240 --> 0:03:41.720 Type of shit. 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:43.880 So I do sell your ship. I mean, if I 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:45.640 was squort on some shit, but I actually I'm gonna 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:46.120 clean it up. 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:46.800 I mean too. 0:03:46.840 --> 0:03:48.760 I hope everybody is cleaning up there after that. 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:51.200 I don't think they are. And if you're listening right now, bitch, 0:03:51.240 --> 0:03:52.160 please clean up. 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:54.200 Wash the covers of your couch if you squored it 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:55.640 on your couch because you didn't make it to the bed. 0:03:55.720 --> 0:03:55.960 Bitch. 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:58.440 Well, there's certain things like I'll lay out stuff, and 0:03:58.440 --> 0:04:01.000 there's things that have covers that are removable to be washed. 0:04:01.440 --> 0:04:03.120 Just for this purpose. 0:04:03.200 --> 0:04:05.600 I would hate for everyone to come over and just 0:04:05.640 --> 0:04:06.840 like be laying down and be like. 0:04:07.400 --> 0:04:08.400 Said she, miss Pussy. 0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:12.520 I think I think, I mean, it might make you 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:13.960 come back more, you know what I'm saying. 0:04:14.200 --> 0:04:16.760 We did have that episode with shampoo, drum Pussy perfume. 0:04:17.320 --> 0:04:22.320 Oh yeah, what did she say that, like when you're ovulating, populating. 0:04:22.240 --> 0:04:24.120 You put your finger inside your pussy and then you 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:28.400 put it on like behind your ears, everywhere you put perfume, 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:31.719 like before an important meeting on a date. 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:34.480 This this is a life hat. Not going to use that. 0:04:34.560 --> 0:04:35.960 But you know what, I really did notice. 0:04:36.040 --> 0:04:39.240 I guess maybe because I'm in partnership that when I'm ovulating, 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:41.320 I'm like, you are really going in right now. It's 0:04:41.320 --> 0:04:43.479 like it's like a like a pheromone that you put 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:46.600 out then the niggas can't resist. You're supposed to be 0:04:46.640 --> 0:04:49.280 getting pregnant, well, I mean that's what our bodies are 0:04:49.279 --> 0:04:50.160 meant for a procreation. 0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:53.599 So just on a scientific level, not that anyone's getting pregnant. 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:54.640 Birth control. 0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:57.800 Please clean your pussy juice off your. 0:04:57.640 --> 0:05:01.000 Couch, especially if you're like me, because I'm a wet, 0:05:01.040 --> 0:05:04.760 wet pussy juicer and amic's a squirter. I haven't gotten 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:06.679 my pussy juice is to squirt yet, but it's coming. 0:05:06.720 --> 0:05:09.240 So once, just one time. 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:11.839 What was the what was like the magic thing that 0:05:11.920 --> 0:05:12.440 unlocked it? 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:15.159 Just did you like notice like yourself getting out of 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:16.840 your mind to get out of your way? Was there 0:05:16.880 --> 0:05:21.800 like some sort of sensation. Was it like fingers? Was it? I? 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:24.839 I was like standing on the side of the bathroom counter, 0:05:25.440 --> 0:05:27.000 and yeah, I was out of my mind on my way. 0:05:27.040 --> 0:05:29.040 It was like one of those like staycations we did 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:31.400 with Ashley in one of those mansion houses that we 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:35.839 so often do because we're fucking classy bitches. But yeah, 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:39.400 I was just like, so that was nice. But I 0:05:39.440 --> 0:05:42.119 haven't quite I haven't ever gone back. It's never happened again. 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:45.320 So maybe I'm done with Tantra school. I'll hit another, 0:05:45.400 --> 0:05:50.280 unlock another level. Anything going on, new, anything going to 0:05:50.320 --> 0:05:51.120 share with the people. 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:53.599 It's almost my birthday. 0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:56.520 Hey, it's what is this? 0:05:56.560 --> 0:06:00.360 Witchy magic? Make your magic October? Make your own magic October? 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:02.000 Was that is that it? 0:06:02.120 --> 0:06:02.480 Yeah? 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:04.000 Make your own magic October. 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:08.160 So October's my favorite month of the year for many reasons. Obviously, 0:06:08.200 --> 0:06:12.279 it's because a queen priestess, badass bitch was born Maka Amy, 0:06:13.320 --> 0:06:16.400 and then also because it's Halloween, and that's also my 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:19.240 favorite holiday because me and you and our friends and 0:06:19.279 --> 0:06:20.679 our kids get really crazy. 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:24.320 We've been playing Halloween off its for like ten months. 0:06:24.360 --> 0:06:26.960 Also, I feel like the weather's really good around this time. 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:30.360 It's like getting a little cold, but there's still like 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:33.960 those hot days. Random hot days usually in Halloween is 0:06:34.000 --> 0:06:36.320 like where the weather switches. It's like that day when 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:38.320 all the bitches are dressed like hoo cheese, it's freezing. 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:38.800 It's true. 0:06:38.800 --> 0:06:41.159 In La, it's like it's hot ninety eight degrees. And 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:42.560 then the day of the Halloween when you want to 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:47.240 wear nothing, it's like surprise, bitch, it's snowy. Yeah I know, 0:06:47.279 --> 0:06:49.359 and then you're then I'm really trying to wear like 0:06:49.360 --> 0:06:51.760 my leathers and my plaids and it just doesn't work. 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:56.600 I'm just sweating and looking cute. Also, our live show, 0:06:57.800 --> 0:07:00.680 you guys, if you have not got tickets for a 0:07:00.880 --> 0:07:03.360 live show, it is a very special live show because 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:05.320 A it's in LA and it's kicking off our tour, 0:07:05.440 --> 0:07:07.400 and b it's my wife's motherfucking birthday. 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:10.840 So we're going to be turned turned with the capital T. 0:07:11.480 --> 0:07:16.000 What did the kids saying turn? No, that's not what 0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:18.240 the kids are saying. Whatever, but that's what we're gonna 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:21.440 be doing. Okay, it's gonna be lots of tequila, so 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:26.160 maya shut up. There's gonna be lots of debauchery, lots 0:07:26.600 --> 0:07:30.120 lots of titties, and we really encourage you to come 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:32.160 with your Houcci gearon, because we don't want to be 0:07:32.200 --> 0:07:34.000 the only bitches with Houchi gearon. 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:37.800 Yes, October twenty first, at the Teogram Ballroom, it's Confessions 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:40.200 of a Good Mom and we are still waiting for 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:42.040 more people to call in and leave their confessions on 0:07:42.080 --> 0:07:42.680 our hotline. 0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:45.720 Can we dress like nuns? WHOA is that too much 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:49.000 like Hucci nuns? Because it's confessions? Are only the priests 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:50.559 like the confessions we could? 0:07:50.880 --> 0:07:52.360 Yeah, that's kind of cool, right. 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:54.240 I don't know if the Christians are going to love that, 0:07:54.360 --> 0:07:57.960 but it's Catholic, Okay, same the Christians. 0:07:58.000 --> 0:07:58.320 Catholic. 0:07:58.360 --> 0:08:03.680 The Christians believe in the nuns umbrella. It's a humbreller, you. 0:08:03.640 --> 0:08:07.160 Know what I mean. It's it's a umbrella. 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:10.160 Also, this month, this month of October is also very 0:08:10.160 --> 0:08:11.640 special because there's a Friday. 0:08:11.400 --> 0:08:12.000 The thirteenth. 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:12.720 I love it. 0:08:12.800 --> 0:08:14.200 I love it. I'm like, I can't wait to wear 0:08:14.240 --> 0:08:14.960 black that day. 0:08:15.120 --> 0:08:16.960 It's getting dark, witchy energy. 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:21.040 Yes, which is so appropriate for our guests today because 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:23.280 we have a very special guest today who is very 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:26.120 very focused on the darkness. 0:08:28.320 --> 0:08:30.560 She is she's focused on it. I guess yeah. 0:08:30.960 --> 0:08:35.559 I think people get people get scared of the darkness, 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:39.440 but we're all made up of darkness and light. There's 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:41.880 balance that has to happen. So, you know, Erica and 0:08:41.960 --> 0:08:43.840 I are really with the dark shit, but now everybody is, 0:08:43.960 --> 0:08:46.200 especially black people. I think black people getting really scared 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:49.560 where you'd be talking about with that devil shit, but 0:08:49.600 --> 0:08:51.520 it's not really devil shit. I mean, we all have 0:08:51.520 --> 0:08:58.000 a little devil in us right anyway, Sorry, Christians, come back, 0:08:58.080 --> 0:08:58.800 I'm just kidding. 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:06.480 Don't turn off the radio. Today. 0:09:06.520 --> 0:09:07.640 We have a very special guest. 0:09:07.720 --> 0:09:10.040 We're here in Atlanta, and we've been really wanting this 0:09:10.080 --> 0:09:11.840 person to come on our show for a very long time. 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:17.800 So we're very, very excited to have Tatiana the trap Witch. 0:09:18.080 --> 0:09:20.040 Oh wait, hold on, your mic is so far I 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:20.840 know he put. 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:22.640 It so far away, supposed to be that far. Yeah, 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:25.439 he said I could project my voice. Oh oh okay, 0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:28.320 I could project my voice into it. I could pop 0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:30.000 my throat post to tell you guys. 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:31.440 Pop that throat pussy queen. 0:09:31.600 --> 0:09:35.360 So the feminine Liberator, the trap Witch, the mindset coach. 0:09:35.440 --> 0:09:37.400 I love I would just love all of yours. I 0:09:37.440 --> 0:09:38.320 just love your whole page. 0:09:38.400 --> 0:09:38.839 Thank you. 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:42.720 It's like a walking meme of just like yes, yes, 0:09:42.760 --> 0:09:44.240 I need to reshare this, I need to reshare this. 0:09:44.280 --> 0:09:46.280 It's just like so much duality. I love duality. 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:49.560 I love people who are confident in living in lots 0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:52.240 of spaces at one time, and you like, really really 0:09:52.600 --> 0:09:54.040 hit that shit on the note. 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:56.160 I just did a class on that. I called it 0:09:56.160 --> 0:09:59.839 The Unbound Priestess, and I focused really on a sp 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:04.160 virtual women. We are allowed to be multifaceted, and so 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:07.480 many people don't want us to be multifaceted as women. 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:09.280 They don't want us to be smart, they don't want 0:10:09.320 --> 0:10:11.440 us to be a hoe, they don't want us to 0:10:11.480 --> 0:10:13.840 be confident. You know, it's like we have to pick 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:17.960 one thing. So my spiritual journey has all about being 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:22.160 a multifaceted goddess and encouraging women, especially to be just 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:22.680 that too. 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:26.880 Preach hallelujah. I told you it was church. 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:31.680 Hallelujah. Halla, bag, I'm not bad. 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:32.680 I was gonna say same. 0:10:32.800 --> 0:10:36.000 That's a lot of what our platform was created in, 0:10:36.200 --> 0:10:39.400 like just being able to be a multitude of things 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:42.800 and like be in your face about it and kick 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:44.640 down doors and say here we are. 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:47.400 Bitches and all of our wholeness. 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:50.680 You know, there's so many I don't know why society 0:10:50.720 --> 0:10:52.640 thinks that we have to be one thing, Like if 0:10:52.640 --> 0:10:54.760 you're a writer, you can only write if you're smart. 0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:56.360 You can't be a hope. You can't no such thing 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:57.200 as a smart hope. 0:10:57.400 --> 0:10:59.040 Well, it makes you, Like what I said in my 0:10:59.040 --> 0:11:02.920 class recently, is makes you controllable. People like predictability. They 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:07.040 think that when they can't predict you, that you're a threat. 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:10.240 So one of the points I made in my class 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:12.720 the other day was like, we don't look at the 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:15.280 moon and be like, bitch, you're such a fake bitch 0:11:15.320 --> 0:11:18.320 you show us every face every three four days, because 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:20.920 like we really and truly only see one side of 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:24.480 the moon. Yet we give the moon permission to change 0:11:24.520 --> 0:11:27.840 every few days, and we don't call her fake. But 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:31.000 as like women and as people, as a shape being 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:34.600 shape shifters, people are like, no, but you were this today, 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:37.439 Why are you this tomorrow? When we have so many 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:38.319 layers to us. 0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:40.600 I love that that's so true. 0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:43.880 It's so true that we are often pigeonholed into like 0:11:44.000 --> 0:11:46.240 how we've shown up. And I think even Mila and 0:11:46.280 --> 0:11:50.480 I creating the space of our retreat business. Is one 0:11:50.480 --> 0:11:53.520 of the reasons is because as women like we even 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:57.480 in our own friend circles, people like to pigeonhole you, like, Hey, 0:11:57.600 --> 0:12:00.360 I know you as this person, why are you showing 0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:02.480 up as this person? So when you kind of are 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:04.880 able to kind of isolate yourself and go off as 0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:07.079 kind of a lone wolf, which essentially is what these 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:08.719 women do when they come to our retreats because some 0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:11.199 of them, most of them are coming alone, they're really 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:15.520 able to give themselves permission to shape shift, like they 0:12:15.559 --> 0:12:18.640 finally have the ability to do that in peace without 0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:21.840 judgment because their best friend isn't there who knows them 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:25.160 from what however long, or their partner or their husband. 0:12:25.640 --> 0:12:28.800 And that's really where the transformation comes. That's really where 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:32.280 the magic comes. When you're able to really tap into 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:35.120 all the different sides that of who you are, the 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:37.679 dark the light, and you can't have one without the other. 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:40.400 You literally cannot have the dark without the light, the 0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:44.520 good without the bad. And you know, I think people 0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:47.240 think that the dark we talk about even dark feminine, 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:50.239 which we'll talk about a little bit later in this episode. 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:53.439 But when we think about the dark feminine or the darkness. 0:12:53.480 --> 0:12:56.520 We always think of it as a negative, and really 0:12:56.520 --> 0:12:58.960 there's so much power in the dark. There's so much 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:01.640 birth thing in the dark. I mean, we are created 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:03.800 in the dark, in the dark of our mother's wounds. 0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:08.920 That's really where creation is birthed. And I just fish, 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:10.839 I just if you're listening to this, don't be afraid 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:11.320 of the dark. 0:13:11.360 --> 0:13:11.640 Baby. 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:14.480 It saved my life. I told people all the time 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:18.040 my brand the trap, which was birthed from a time 0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:20.600 where as an mpath I was tired of being a 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:23.880 good girl that got walked on, and so I channeled 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:26.240 these parts of my shadow. I didn't know that's what 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:27.840 it was at the time. I was channeling these parts 0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:30.800 of my shadow to help me. I'm like, please, calling 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:34.920 out to parts of myself to help me gain boundaries 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:38.160 to advocate for myself. And so a lot of my 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:41.440 work now is the balance between teaching people about empathy 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:44.600 but also channeling the healthy parts of your ego. And 0:13:44.640 --> 0:13:48.520 even when we're going back to like being multifaceted, people 0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:51.280 want to pigeonhole you into how you expressed as well, 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:54.720 Like God forbid you're empathetic. They don't want you to 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:58.400 use your ego when it is necessary, or you know, 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:01.280 there's times when I am aggressive, but then there's times 0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:03.880 I'm apathetic and I don't give a fuck. So people 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:07.199 don't even want you to shape shift with how you 0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:09.800 show up and advocate for yourself that you know, like 0:14:09.800 --> 0:14:11.840 with the let's say you're the strong friend, they always 0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:14.400 just want you to be that empathetic, strong friend with 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:17.520 no boundaries. And so a lot of times, even when 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:20.960 we're just looking to channel some of our darkness, most 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:23.400 people's darkness comes from the parts of themselves that they're 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:27.080 afraid to embody, or the parts of themselves that they 0:14:27.160 --> 0:14:30.800 feel like they're going to lose everything if they finally 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:32.760 tap into when most of the times, that's when you 0:14:32.800 --> 0:14:35.280 gain all your wholeness, and then you gain the people 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:36.840 that are aligned for you and the things that are 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:37.480 aligned for you. 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:39.320 Yes, it's so true. 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:42.280 I mean that you can't you can't really access your 0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:46.200 whole self without accessing the darkness. And by ignoring it, 0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:51.280 ignoring it and avoiding it, you are kind of like 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:54.080 you are avoiding the work that needs to be done 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:56.960 to be able to pull up and show yourself and 0:14:57.000 --> 0:15:00.320 make real friends and make real relationships. Because if you're 0:15:00.360 --> 0:15:02.960 only functioning in one side of yourself, then people are 0:15:03.000 --> 0:15:05.560 only knowing one side of you, and so. 0:15:06.000 --> 0:15:08.520 That's a level of spiritual bypassing. You know what I mean? 0:15:08.560 --> 0:15:11.120 And I tell people all the time, all shadow workers 0:15:11.120 --> 0:15:12.960 can be light workers, but not all light workers could 0:15:12.960 --> 0:15:16.840 be shadow workers. So until you tap into that shadow, 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:19.640 there's only so much light that you can attract to you, 0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:22.080 and you're going to continue to repeat the same lessons 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:22.680 over and over. 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:26.200 I think that the word shadow work is obviously something 0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:29.280 that if you're listening, you've seen it on Instagram or 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:32.000 maybe you know what it means. But I'm curious to you, like, 0:15:32.240 --> 0:15:34.720 can you define what you view as shadow work? 0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:38.640 To me, shadow work is all the work that needs. 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:42.080 To be done when it comes to overcoming your own stigmas, 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:46.880 over becoming your own traumas, overcoming the parts of yourself 0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:49.960 that you're afraid to embody to get to your highs again. 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:54.760 It's like, in general, people are very avoidant. People don't 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:58.120 want to do the work. So to get to everything 0:15:58.160 --> 0:15:59.840 that you need to do, you have to be willing 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:02.800 to go to your subconscious layers and to yourself, like 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:04.920 why do I do the things that I do, and 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:06.960 even for good people, like I have good people come 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:08.360 to me all the time. They're like, I'm such a 0:16:08.360 --> 0:16:10.520 good person. Why is it that I attract these things? 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:11.880 That's because you have no boundaries. 0:16:12.360 --> 0:16:12.560 You know. 0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:17.200 Even good people's karma is to at times attract people 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:19.720 that are there to teach them those parts of themselves. 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:21.880 So that would be the shadow work for that type 0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:24.760 of person where it'd be like, Okay, why are you 0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:27.160 afraid to be aggressive? Why are you afraid to advocate 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:29.560 for yourself? Why are you afraid to be to have 0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:31.600 a bit of an ego? You know, because like when 0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:34.000 we talk we get into spiritual talk, lots of people 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:35.880 like kill the ego, kill the ego. I don't believe 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:38.480 in that. I believe in integrating the ego. You know, 0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:42.960 there's parts of the ego that is for your defense 0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:46.640 and for your confidence, but there's parts that are very 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:50.000 self centered. But again, we are the center, right, we 0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:52.080 are the center of our story, so we have to 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:54.360 know how to tap into when that should be the 0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:56.360 highest value to protect ourselves. 0:16:56.400 --> 0:16:59.440 So a lot of for me shadow work is really. 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:01.320 For you. 0:17:01.960 --> 0:17:05.480 That's something that's a stigma for you, that's avoiding you 0:17:05.680 --> 0:17:09.560 from evolving from your highest self and all the abundance 0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:12.119 that's for you, and that can vary from person to person. 0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:17.320 I love that, and I think like everybody has everybody's 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:20.280 soul comes here with the purpose, and we're here to 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:22.160 learn a lesson and you know, and like if you're 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:25.479 avoiding the lesson, then you'll have to redo it in 0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:26.360 the next lifetime. 0:17:26.480 --> 0:17:28.359 Like that's one of my beliefs. 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:31.440 And so I think sometimes by avoiding the shadow work, 0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:35.120 you bound yourself to like be doing the same shit 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:38.439 over and over again. And I think also people people 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:44.919 are so reluctant to say, like what is my contribution 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:48.760 to this cycle? So like if I'm attracting a certain 0:17:48.760 --> 0:17:51.960 type of guy or certain types of friends, and it's like, but. 0:17:51.960 --> 0:17:52.960 I'm such a good person. 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:54.320 It's like, yeah, you might be a good person, But 0:17:54.440 --> 0:17:56.280 like you said, it's like there is some things that 0:17:56.320 --> 0:17:58.720 you need to dig deeper in to figure out why 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:01.520 it is that this is something that you are continuously 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:04.800 finding yourself in, especially because I think all relationships are 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:06.240 reflections of ourselves. 0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:09.400 You know, it's about it's about cultivating you know, spiritual 0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:11.560 discernment and protection. And again I tell people all the 0:18:11.560 --> 0:18:14.879 time because you know, as times as women especially like 0:18:15.520 --> 0:18:18.640 we don't want to take accountability too. Like there's tons 0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:20.919 of times where I hold men account I just hold 0:18:20.960 --> 0:18:24.080 people accountable. And there's been times I've talked about things 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:26.560 and women are like deflecting and blaming, and I'm like, 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:30.399 what it sounds like is by all means, you've gone 0:18:30.400 --> 0:18:34.200 through things, but until you take accountability for the parts 0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:36.399 that you do play in certain cycles, you're forever going 0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:38.440 to be a victim. And so I said, I don't 0:18:38.440 --> 0:18:40.879 believe in like the bootstrapping method where it's like just 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:44.280 resilience and stop being a victim. No, like the armor 0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:46.840 of God and spiritual discernment. And this is the way 0:18:46.880 --> 0:18:48.600 I describe it, is like, Yeah, you went through a 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:51.680 scenario where you're walking through a minefield barefooted, you get 0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:54.640 your left foot blown off. Let's not make that happen again. 0:18:54.760 --> 0:18:56.720 Let me teach you how to put on some shoes, 0:18:56.960 --> 0:18:59.119 how to navigate a mind feel so you can keep 0:18:59.160 --> 0:19:01.240 you all the foot. So a lot of times people 0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:03.840 want to deflect and they want to blame and take 0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:07.240 no responsibility for hell, they have to show up because 0:19:07.240 --> 0:19:10.040 again there's parts of people that they think that like 0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:12.439 they're weak like I used to be that bitch, Like 0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:16.320 I used to be so in victim. It's everybody's fault 0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:20.119 and take no accountability. And now I can come to 0:19:20.280 --> 0:19:24.080 myself and to my spirit guides daily and be like, Okay, 0:19:24.119 --> 0:19:27.000 this happened. What part do I play in it? What 0:19:27.080 --> 0:19:28.600 part do they play on it? And what do I 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:31.680 do now? A lot of people are just walking around 0:19:31.760 --> 0:19:34.840 with so much repressed shit, so by the time it 0:19:34.880 --> 0:19:38.399 gets really bad, it's usually spirit bringing everything to the 0:19:38.440 --> 0:19:42.080 service to be like, bitch, playtime is over. And I 0:19:42.119 --> 0:19:44.360 had to go through that point in my life where 0:19:44.400 --> 0:19:46.200 spirit was like, bitch, place time is over. 0:19:48.040 --> 0:19:48.240 Yeah. 0:19:48.320 --> 0:19:49.960 That discriminative awareness. 0:19:50.760 --> 0:19:54.320 I learned this word recently, discriminative awareness from Tantra, and 0:19:54.359 --> 0:19:56.560 it's literally like it took me a life. They kept 0:19:56.560 --> 0:19:57.679 saying it, and I know what the fuck they were 0:19:57.680 --> 0:20:00.360 talking about, until finally I realized. It's like I think 0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:05.040 sometimes we're taught that, you know, like you're not above anyone. 0:20:05.200 --> 0:20:07.080 You know, we're all human and we're all equal, and 0:20:07.119 --> 0:20:10.919 this is true, but like everyone does not deserve to 0:20:10.960 --> 0:20:13.600 be in your energy field all the time. And like 0:20:13.760 --> 0:20:15.720 some people would say, like oh, that's ego, but it's like, no, 0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:18.119 it's just truth. You know, everyone's at a different level 0:20:18.119 --> 0:20:21.640 of lessons and sometimes if you poured you deeply into 0:20:21.680 --> 0:20:23.639 someone who's not where you're at, you are going to 0:20:24.040 --> 0:20:26.879 inevitably drain yourself of the energy that is supposed to 0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:30.520 be yours. And so like the part about like the 0:20:30.560 --> 0:20:34.240 fire element is like discriminative awareness, is that, like, everybody's 0:20:34.280 --> 0:20:37.720 not where I'm at, and because I'm protective of my energy, 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:40.600 I'm going to discriminate against some motherfucker is because you 0:20:40.640 --> 0:20:42.880 are not on my level, nigga, you know what I mean? 0:20:42.960 --> 0:20:44.000 And that is okay. 0:20:44.119 --> 0:20:46.119 In fact, that is my right in this and and 0:20:47.000 --> 0:20:49.760 my right and my purpose in this realm to be 0:20:50.359 --> 0:20:54.680 aware and also discriminate against some people because I recognize 0:20:54.760 --> 0:20:57.400 that you still have some lessons to go and it's 0:20:57.440 --> 0:21:00.600 not my responsibility to bring you up here, and you know, 0:21:00.640 --> 0:21:03.600 and sometimes it's hurts. And that's another thing about like 0:21:03.640 --> 0:21:08.320 your fire element. It's like attachment obviously, like we're humans 0:21:08.359 --> 0:21:11.800 and we're supposed to be connected, and you know, inevitably 0:21:11.840 --> 0:21:14.399 we come into the world with other people. You know, 0:21:14.440 --> 0:21:17.760 you're birth through a womb, but you know, and there's 0:21:17.800 --> 0:21:21.520 also healthy attachment, but there's a lot of negative and 0:21:21.640 --> 0:21:26.639 unhealthy attachment, and we are bound by it, especially women, 0:21:26.880 --> 0:21:29.560 because we are nurturers and because we want to love, 0:21:29.640 --> 0:21:32.280 we want to pour into and then we get clouded 0:21:32.359 --> 0:21:35.320 about who we need to be attached to and when 0:21:35.359 --> 0:21:38.439 it's time to cut those attachments off and so like that. 0:21:38.480 --> 0:21:40.080 You know, I'm not one of those people. For sure, 0:21:40.119 --> 0:21:41.000 I've been one of those people. 0:21:41.000 --> 0:21:44.000 And so I'm just really like, I'm grateful for this 0:21:44.080 --> 0:21:46.159 conversation because I think that is something a lot of 0:21:46.160 --> 0:21:48.639 women struggle with, is like I love this person, I 0:21:48.680 --> 0:21:52.359 care about this person, even in family situations. But you know, 0:21:52.480 --> 0:21:54.639 it's like if someone is drowning you or hurting you 0:21:54.720 --> 0:21:57.280 and the attachment is no longer healthy, you have to 0:21:57.320 --> 0:22:00.280 have discriminative awareness and cut that shit off. 0:22:00.560 --> 0:22:01.679 Do you know what limerence is? 0:22:02.000 --> 0:22:02.080 No? 0:22:02.640 --> 0:22:06.320 Okay? So I learned this term on TikTok that limerens, 0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:08.679 like a lot of women right now are suffering from 0:22:08.720 --> 0:22:14.359 limerens like limerence, like love obsession, and there's a lot 0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:18.040 of predatory content. In the past six seven years, it's 0:22:18.040 --> 0:22:21.360 been put on the internet between tarot readings, twin flames 0:22:21.440 --> 0:22:27.320 soulmate karme and women are literally becoming even more obsessive 0:22:27.440 --> 0:22:30.760 because now we have, you know, these things coming out. 0:22:31.119 --> 0:22:34.920 We have the capability to watch people that were obsessed 0:22:34.920 --> 0:22:35.800 with through the internet. 0:22:35.840 --> 0:22:38.280 Like I don't know about you guys, but like when. 0:22:38.119 --> 0:22:41.000 You came out, I was like, man, I see a 0:22:41.000 --> 0:22:42.960 little bit of Joe and myself and how I used 0:22:43.000 --> 0:22:44.840 to be. Because this is how it is women. We 0:22:44.960 --> 0:22:48.080 operate now at times where women get so obsessed and 0:22:48.119 --> 0:22:51.600 hyper fixated and attached that they're you know, stalking. And 0:22:51.880 --> 0:22:53.639 I always tell people all the time I made a 0:22:53.720 --> 0:22:55.800 pay with post probably like three years ago, and women 0:22:55.840 --> 0:22:57.239 came for me. I was like, bitch, I don't give 0:22:57.280 --> 0:23:00.240 a fuck. I said, women can be predators too, too, 0:23:00.920 --> 0:23:02.520 And I was like, y'all, bitches gotta. 0:23:02.280 --> 0:23:06.439 Take accountability that when your dark feminine energy is not 0:23:06.600 --> 0:23:12.199 integrated at high levels, you can become the most succubius, manipulative, 0:23:12.720 --> 0:23:13.840 stalking ass bitch. 0:23:13.880 --> 0:23:16.399 And I know that because I've been there before, you 0:23:16.480 --> 0:23:18.119 know what I mean, I've been there before. Like I 0:23:18.240 --> 0:23:20.000 take care of both my shit, you know. I like 0:23:21.280 --> 0:23:24.800 ran through an apartment gate and left the letter under 0:23:24.840 --> 0:23:27.600 his door because he wasn't answered about his message and 0:23:27.600 --> 0:23:29.320 he's like, you don't think that's a big much. I 0:23:29.359 --> 0:23:32.680 was like, no, you weren't answering, you know, And it's 0:23:32.720 --> 0:23:37.080 the truth. So yeah, people have to have that spiritual discernment. 0:23:37.440 --> 0:23:39.200 And a lot of the women that I work with, again, 0:23:39.280 --> 0:23:41.760 we are in the lack, we are in the scarcity, 0:23:41.800 --> 0:23:45.440 so that attachment is hard to cut because they don't 0:23:45.440 --> 0:23:47.959 they're not aware of how infinite they are because of 0:23:48.000 --> 0:23:51.840 self worth issues. And to even what you were saying 0:23:51.880 --> 0:23:57.080 about moving purposefully, Yes, the more I feel spiritual you get, 0:23:57.640 --> 0:24:01.439 the more funny moving bitch you gotta be. I admitted 0:24:01.440 --> 0:24:02.800 this the other day. I was like, I am a 0:24:02.840 --> 0:24:07.159 funny moving bitch and that really pisses people off sometimes 0:24:07.160 --> 0:24:09.399 because they're like, she's so calculated. I have to be. 0:24:10.200 --> 0:24:14.440 When you get really aware of your energy, most successful 0:24:14.440 --> 0:24:18.480 people are strategic with their energy. So I can't afford 0:24:18.720 --> 0:24:21.960 to waste time to be in cycles long or whatever. 0:24:22.000 --> 0:24:24.280 So yeah, you can afford to be a funny moving 0:24:24.320 --> 0:24:27.240 bitch because so many women are not cognizant at times 0:24:27.280 --> 0:24:29.760 of what they're giving access to their energy, and so 0:24:30.560 --> 0:24:35.359 I really advocate for women being more mindful, not creating 0:24:35.359 --> 0:24:39.439 these attachments and knowing that you have to take accountability 0:24:39.560 --> 0:24:42.280 for your part. And a lot of women don't for that, 0:24:42.320 --> 0:24:44.520 limeer and shit, They'll be like, what do you mean, Like. 0:24:45.480 --> 0:24:49.120 Well, the deliberance, let me learn a newer deliberate shit, 0:24:50.640 --> 0:24:54.960 limerent shit is it's it's fucked up because we are 0:24:55.000 --> 0:25:01.480 born into a society that places that places our value 0:25:01.640 --> 0:25:05.600 and our worth in like very in like entanglement with 0:25:05.920 --> 0:25:07.560 our relationship status. 0:25:08.600 --> 0:25:10.200 I'm about to go in on that in a second. 0:25:10.359 --> 0:25:13.560 So we're born into this society where if you come out, 0:25:13.640 --> 0:25:15.480 you know, you come out, you turn three, and they 0:25:15.480 --> 0:25:17.359 turn on the fucking Disney movies and there's a Prince 0:25:17.440 --> 0:25:19.120 Charming and this bitch is running off into the sun 0:25:19.160 --> 0:25:21.280 on a fucking fucking chariot, you know. 0:25:21.359 --> 0:25:23.080 And then you're like, oh, that's what I'm supposed to do. 0:25:23.080 --> 0:25:24.600 I'm supposed to have a man check, I'm supposed to 0:25:24.640 --> 0:25:27.600 get a finished school check the house, picket fence, and 0:25:27.640 --> 0:25:30.080 have babies boom, you know, and like if it doesn't 0:25:30.080 --> 0:25:33.520 go in that order, then you're like you're steady examining, 0:25:33.600 --> 0:25:36.080 like what's wrong with me? Instead of being like, oh, 0:25:36.119 --> 0:25:38.080 I'm fine, I'm perfectly good. But these you know, a 0:25:38.080 --> 0:25:40.960 lot of these men have some vibration reasing to do. 0:25:41.240 --> 0:25:43.639 And until you do that, I'm not going to lower mind, 0:25:43.760 --> 0:25:46.439 you know. And it's so our worth is so tied 0:25:46.600 --> 0:25:50.720 into our relationship status and our marital status. Is that 0:25:50.880 --> 0:25:55.920 like our self worth is frankly confused, and so we 0:25:56.040 --> 0:26:01.879 become obsessed with companionship and relationship status and even become 0:26:02.080 --> 0:26:04.480 you know, like your online looking at relationships like I 0:26:04.560 --> 0:26:07.680 was Miella's and I'm like obsessed, you know, like, oh 0:26:07.720 --> 0:26:08.720 like that looks I want that. 0:26:08.800 --> 0:26:10.800 I want that because it looks a certain way. 0:26:11.440 --> 0:26:13.560 But the truth is is like as I think, as 0:26:13.600 --> 0:26:18.600 we become spiritually sharper, those the tests will come at 0:26:18.600 --> 0:26:21.280 a higher rate and it will become harder to like 0:26:22.680 --> 0:26:24.040 just like I'm back in like when I ued to 0:26:24.040 --> 0:26:26.840 be a Christian and there was a part they were 0:26:26.880 --> 0:26:28.560 like God will test you. 0:26:28.760 --> 0:26:30.280 Now that you're Jesus's child. 0:26:30.640 --> 0:26:32.400 The devil will test you to see if you're really 0:26:32.680 --> 0:26:36.280 like okay, this is like, but in reality, as you 0:26:36.359 --> 0:26:40.840 become spiritually sharper, there will be tests because it's testing 0:26:41.320 --> 0:26:44.879 your understanding of your self worth. It's testing if you 0:26:44.960 --> 0:26:48.920 really are devotion to your devotion to yourself, to your faith, 0:26:49.080 --> 0:26:52.119 you know, and your alignment with yourself and your self worth. 0:26:52.400 --> 0:26:55.479 And so sometimes it will be a fine ass, smooth 0:26:55.520 --> 0:26:58.360 talking kind of seems smart, but maybe you're not that smart. 0:26:58.480 --> 0:27:01.800 Man that will dig you down and bring you in 0:27:01.880 --> 0:27:04.199 because everybody knows the womb is the easy way, and 0:27:04.240 --> 0:27:07.119 you like fucking raw, and then you're confused, and then 0:27:07.160 --> 0:27:09.800 you're like, oh, actually, actually no, I can't help him. 0:27:09.840 --> 0:27:12.280 I can't save him. No, bitch, you cannot. You have 0:27:12.359 --> 0:27:15.760 to only save yourself. But a part of our nature 0:27:15.840 --> 0:27:18.600 and a part of our socialization is that we are 0:27:18.600 --> 0:27:20.439 supposed to be coupled or we are supposed to be, 0:27:20.600 --> 0:27:25.080 you know, saved in ways by this like divine masculine. 0:27:25.119 --> 0:27:28.560 And sometimes the test is in sharpening your skills, and 0:27:28.560 --> 0:27:32.240 the sharpening of your skills is like do you love yourself. 0:27:31.800 --> 0:27:34.600 Enough to have discriminative awareness? 0:27:35.000 --> 0:27:37.919 And so I just I feel like, the higher you 0:27:37.960 --> 0:27:40.440 get in your spiritual practice and your self worth, because 0:27:40.440 --> 0:27:42.680 I think those are one and the same, you will 0:27:42.720 --> 0:27:44.400 have tests, and a lot of times I do come 0:27:44.440 --> 0:27:47.520 in the forms of love, because that is something that 0:27:47.960 --> 0:27:50.639 for women is easy to tempt us with because of 0:27:50.640 --> 0:27:53.560 how we're socialized. And I also believe the more you're 0:27:53.560 --> 0:27:56.760 in alignment with yourself and the more you are practicing 0:27:56.800 --> 0:28:00.439 discriminative awareness and you're cutting off people and being a 0:28:00.480 --> 0:28:02.680 funny acting bitch, but not really a funny acting bitch. 0:28:03.400 --> 0:28:07.760 It's like you are going to be constantly tested with 0:28:07.880 --> 0:28:10.760 your alignment to see if you're ready to go to 0:28:10.760 --> 0:28:13.120 the next level. And I think sometimes it's like it's 0:28:13.160 --> 0:28:15.680 in cutting off the fat that you get to graduate 0:28:15.720 --> 0:28:18.240 to the next level because you're showing the universe, you're 0:28:18.240 --> 0:28:20.920 showing spirit that oh no, I really know my worth, 0:28:20.960 --> 0:28:22.400 I really know who the fuck I am, and it's 0:28:22.440 --> 0:28:26.280 not depending on a relationship or a person, and it's 0:28:26.320 --> 0:28:28.240 not like and it's about me. It's not about me 0:28:29.040 --> 0:28:31.760 saving somebody else, you know. And I think that's difficult too, 0:28:31.800 --> 0:28:35.520 because again we're teachers and we're mothers, and that's what 0:28:35.520 --> 0:28:37.280 we do. We teach and we love and we pour 0:28:37.400 --> 0:28:40.920 into But it's like you have to know when when 0:28:41.040 --> 0:28:43.280 it's the right person or people to do that for. 0:28:46.040 --> 0:28:49.240 I agree, I agree on everything is said, but I 0:28:49.280 --> 0:28:51.920 also I also am thinking about Limerens in yours. I 0:28:51.920 --> 0:28:53.800 think what you said about that too, is that like 0:28:53.840 --> 0:28:56.200 in the age of social media, like we are looking 0:28:56.200 --> 0:29:01.320 on Instagram and like ingesting all these different and pictures 0:29:01.360 --> 0:29:03.080 of what love is supposed to look like, and even 0:29:03.400 --> 0:29:05.720 even memes. I think about some of the like the 0:29:06.400 --> 0:29:08.760 things that I come across on my algorithm, and I'm like, 0:29:09.120 --> 0:29:12.360 why are you attacking me? Or like and like but 0:29:12.440 --> 0:29:16.200 also knowing like it's either they're speaking to exactly how 0:29:16.240 --> 0:29:18.360 I feel and then I want to reshare that, or 0:29:18.400 --> 0:29:20.920 they're attacking me, and then I'm like, I feel insecure 0:29:20.960 --> 0:29:24.200 about this. This is how I feel. Should I leave him? 0:29:24.520 --> 0:29:25.600 Should I you know what I mean? 0:29:25.640 --> 0:29:27.920 And then or like, oh, yes, this is what love 0:29:27.960 --> 0:29:28.760 is supposed to be like? 0:29:28.800 --> 0:29:33.360 And just how the internet really, I think makes it 0:29:33.440 --> 0:29:38.920 such a tricky place to feel secure in your spiritual spirituality, 0:29:39.000 --> 0:29:40.800 especially if you don't have like a foundation and a 0:29:40.840 --> 0:29:44.160 grounding in it, and especially if you don't have a 0:29:44.800 --> 0:29:48.440 grounding in your self love and self awareness. You can 0:29:48.760 --> 0:29:51.719 see these memes and start to dictate your life based 0:29:51.760 --> 0:29:54.680 on what these things are, what these like, what's being 0:29:54.760 --> 0:29:58.480 fed to you. I've literally seen things that have pissed me, 0:29:58.760 --> 0:30:01.440 like I'm triggered now and now I'm mad at you 0:30:01.640 --> 0:30:04.320 because I saw this shit. This I wasn't even mad 0:30:04.320 --> 0:30:06.400 at you ten minutes ago, but now I'm reminded of 0:30:06.440 --> 0:30:08.400 some dumb ass shit that you did, and now I'm 0:30:08.480 --> 0:30:11.760 questioning my self worth and whether I should be with 0:30:11.800 --> 0:30:14.200 you and like and then like, so, I don't know 0:30:14.240 --> 0:30:16.880 if that's how Limerens also works. 0:30:17.520 --> 0:30:20.360 It does work like that too, And you know, I 0:30:20.440 --> 0:30:22.920 think we have to be so careful because like again, 0:30:22.960 --> 0:30:25.479 I think that there's so much predatory content out there 0:30:25.560 --> 0:30:29.760 right now, even down to like relationship podcasts and people 0:30:29.840 --> 0:30:33.800 who are positioning themselves as relationship gurus like I'm gonna 0:30:33.800 --> 0:30:36.680 be transparent, Like do I think every woman should listen 0:30:36.720 --> 0:30:39.480 to Shira seven? No, some of the advice that she 0:30:39.600 --> 0:30:42.280 gives is kind of like sex work advice, and I'd 0:30:42.280 --> 0:30:45.240 be telling people like not every bitch is built for that. 0:30:45.720 --> 0:30:48.560 So we have to have as individuals or really strong 0:30:48.640 --> 0:30:53.120 internal compass. Even for me, there are certain femininity coaches 0:30:53.120 --> 0:30:55.120 that are on the internet and what they would position 0:30:55.200 --> 0:30:59.120 as femininity. I could never follow that advice because I'm 0:30:59.320 --> 0:31:02.360 very in tune with what my not only who I 0:31:02.360 --> 0:31:05.440 am as an individual and my my makeup, but also 0:31:05.480 --> 0:31:07.960 what my mission is like for me, I'm not a 0:31:08.040 --> 0:31:13.960 traditionally feminine woman, according to certain femininity coaches, because I 0:31:14.080 --> 0:31:16.320 have to be very masculine in nature, not only to 0:31:16.360 --> 0:31:19.360 protect myself, but to protect my community and my women 0:31:19.400 --> 0:31:22.640 and my army coming behind me. So I think it's 0:31:22.680 --> 0:31:25.080 really important for people when they're on the internet and 0:31:25.120 --> 0:31:29.360 they're taking advice or they're taking things in firstly acts 0:31:29.360 --> 0:31:31.600 like does this really apply to me? Like what's my 0:31:31.680 --> 0:31:33.880 internal compass set up? Like does this applied to me? 0:31:33.920 --> 0:31:36.920 Should I take this advice? Because again, this is how 0:31:36.960 --> 0:31:39.280 cults get started, you know, Like it's not fucking cults 0:31:39.280 --> 0:31:40.320 get started. 0:31:40.200 --> 0:31:44.160 You know, cults and people going off their path. 0:31:44.720 --> 0:31:47.600 You know, I when I did my Unbound preesess class 0:31:47.640 --> 0:31:50.520 the other day, I was like, quite honestly, I don't 0:31:50.520 --> 0:31:52.800 listen to a lot of male spiritual leaders in the 0:31:52.800 --> 0:31:55.760 black community because if I'm gonna listen to these men, 0:31:55.840 --> 0:31:57.920 they gonna leave me to fucking help because what they 0:31:57.960 --> 0:32:02.640 would say is a respectable way. I'm not that bitch, 0:32:03.400 --> 0:32:05.080 you know, I'm not going to be a bitch that's 0:32:05.160 --> 0:32:08.400 position next to a doctor umar or a nineteen key. 0:32:09.000 --> 0:32:10.760 I'll be you know what I'm saying, I'll be well 0:32:10.840 --> 0:32:13.080 like Yousha kai War and was like, you know what 0:32:13.160 --> 0:32:16.200 I'm saying, like wop. So again, I think when we're 0:32:16.240 --> 0:32:20.120 taking in things, do not take everything as doctrine. You 0:32:20.160 --> 0:32:21.800 have to learn how to take the meat and throw 0:32:21.840 --> 0:32:23.800 away to bones. But a lot of people don't know 0:32:23.800 --> 0:32:26.320 how to fucking think for themselves. And that's true. 0:32:26.440 --> 0:32:29.320 Like that you're speaking of something so like hitting it 0:32:29.360 --> 0:32:31.240 on the nose about like what is your position in 0:32:31.280 --> 0:32:33.800 this field here? And it's like, yay, yes, you have 0:32:33.880 --> 0:32:36.240 to know yourself. But like like you said, yeah, there's 0:32:36.280 --> 0:32:40.400 a lot of motherfuckers, a lot of black male leaders. 0:32:40.280 --> 0:32:42.080 That yeah, we're not you're we're not going to get along. 0:32:42.080 --> 0:32:42.840 And We've had some of. 0:32:42.840 --> 0:32:44.600 Those people on our show and I'm like, I can 0:32:44.680 --> 0:32:46.479 listen to it with a grain of salt, but I 0:32:46.520 --> 0:32:49.240 also know a lot of those I don't want to 0:32:49.320 --> 0:32:51.480 like generalize, but a lot of these male leaders do 0:32:51.600 --> 0:32:56.480 not respect the female spiritualists and leaders in the same right. 0:32:56.520 --> 0:32:58.719 Especially if they look like us. And you said this 0:32:58.720 --> 0:33:00.600 the other day, you know why this is gonna blow 0:33:00.640 --> 0:33:02.920 your mind. It came to me the other day the 0:33:03.040 --> 0:33:05.600 same shit that they've done to women, where they're like, 0:33:05.720 --> 0:33:10.000 you're misrepresenting God, you're a spiritual woman, you're mis Like 0:33:10.000 --> 0:33:12.920 when Kiki Palmer came out with this stuff recently and 0:33:12.920 --> 0:33:16.280 they're like, she's misrepresenting him. I was like, why is 0:33:16.280 --> 0:33:18.320 there always so much pressure put on women or how 0:33:18.320 --> 0:33:20.680 we represent men? Why aren't we having this conversation about 0:33:20.680 --> 0:33:24.280 how they fucking represent us. We're not having as many conversations. 0:33:24.600 --> 0:33:28.440 And some of this indoctrination comes from what we've put 0:33:28.480 --> 0:33:30.800 on women and what a spiritual woman should be, how 0:33:30.840 --> 0:33:33.200 you represent God, and then we put it in the 0:33:33.520 --> 0:33:36.240 spiritual community with these men. You guys aren't worthy to 0:33:36.360 --> 0:33:38.720 be represented those next to us. And I was just like, 0:33:39.640 --> 0:33:41.240 but who says I even want to sit next to 0:33:41.240 --> 0:33:44.240 that type of men? But again, certain women are literally 0:33:44.360 --> 0:33:46.840 changing who they are so they could take a seat 0:33:46.920 --> 0:33:48.920 next to these men. And that's not even who's formally 0:33:48.920 --> 0:33:50.600 for them sometimes. 0:33:50.320 --> 0:33:52.200 Right, Yeah, Like, just because I'm not wearing a head 0:33:52.240 --> 0:33:55.040 wrap and I'm not buttoned up to the fucking top 0:33:55.080 --> 0:33:57.680 button and I'm wearing a kitten fucking heel, does it 0:33:57.840 --> 0:34:03.520 mean that I'm not I hate I fucking hate them. 0:34:03.520 --> 0:34:05.600 Well, you know, one thing I came to the realization 0:34:05.920 --> 0:34:08.160 and I said this the other day because you know, 0:34:08.280 --> 0:34:10.600 I get I'm gonna say I get tested. I'm not 0:34:10.600 --> 0:34:12.879 gonna say I get attacked. I get tested from many 0:34:12.920 --> 0:34:17.839 different sides because I'm truly an intersectionalist, Like I'm biracial, 0:34:18.320 --> 0:34:21.200 I'm a witch, I'm a former sex worker. Like when 0:34:21.280 --> 0:34:22.839 you put all that in the pot, it's like, why 0:34:22.880 --> 0:34:25.600 wouldn't you get attacked, bitch, because you represent so many 0:34:25.640 --> 0:34:28.719 intersections that are taboo for people to talk about. But 0:34:28.800 --> 0:34:31.879 what I said the other day was and I listened, 0:34:31.880 --> 0:34:34.040 had a brain fart, but what we were saying about 0:34:34.040 --> 0:34:36.560 the kitten heel, okay, dark feminine, I'm not like I 0:34:36.560 --> 0:34:38.360 went to make DHD thing for a minute. 0:34:38.520 --> 0:34:40.000 So what I. 0:34:40.120 --> 0:34:44.080 Realize is for me, sometimes I get attacked because I'm 0:34:44.120 --> 0:34:46.839 too much of a feminist for men that don't want 0:34:46.840 --> 0:34:48.000 me to be in power. And I'm too much of 0:34:48.040 --> 0:34:51.239 a misogynist for certain women because I'm too sexual. And 0:34:51.760 --> 0:34:54.000 so what I realized recently is that there's so many 0:34:54.040 --> 0:34:58.000 women that do identify with this like overtly sexual, dark 0:34:58.040 --> 0:35:01.319 feminine energy, and we do get jealousy, we do get 0:35:01.320 --> 0:35:04.440 attacked by women because it looks to them what the 0:35:04.480 --> 0:35:07.680 male gaze is about. Well, it's truly just who you are, right, 0:35:08.080 --> 0:35:11.759 But I realized the reason why that gets mistaken is 0:35:11.800 --> 0:35:14.920 we also don't talk about goddess veneration. We don't talk 0:35:14.920 --> 0:35:18.120 about goddess worship like we are very fluid women where 0:35:18.120 --> 0:35:20.800 we're like vigial titties look good in that pope amount. 0:35:21.000 --> 0:35:23.920 But people assume that that's just for the male gains, 0:35:24.239 --> 0:35:25.920 when this is who the fuck you are, bitch. I 0:35:26.000 --> 0:35:28.640 like my titties out, I like a seven inch heeld, 0:35:29.400 --> 0:35:31.839 my life, my toes out. It's like, it's not all 0:35:31.880 --> 0:35:34.400 for men, and we love it. Away from the conversation, 0:35:35.400 --> 0:35:37.960 it's all for the male gaze. Well it's not. 0:35:38.160 --> 0:35:41.680 And that's really hard for a lot of women curious 0:35:41.680 --> 0:35:43.640 and men, yes, men, but. 0:35:43.800 --> 0:35:48.320 For women to really download and understand. 0:35:48.560 --> 0:35:51.200 Yeah, well, because they've been shamed and so they've suppressed 0:35:51.239 --> 0:35:54.200 that part of thomselves because for acceptance, because they've been 0:35:54.480 --> 0:35:56.960 it's been fucking shoved down their throat that if you 0:35:57.000 --> 0:35:59.319 do this or that it's for attention. And so when 0:35:59.320 --> 0:36:01.520 you when you take that in and then you see 0:36:01.520 --> 0:36:04.240 a woman who's embodying her full self, whatever that looks, 0:36:04.400 --> 0:36:06.800 your first impression is that a you're going to project 0:36:06.840 --> 0:36:08.520 because I've never been allowed to do that and so 0:36:08.560 --> 0:36:11.479 I can't understand it. And b you must be doing 0:36:11.480 --> 0:36:13.600 this because you're trying to take my nigga and because 0:36:13.640 --> 0:36:15.200 you want a lot of attention in your home. 0:36:15.280 --> 0:36:18.239 Well, I think, yes, that's one layer, but I think 0:36:18.280 --> 0:36:20.680 the other layer is that is that also women have 0:36:20.800 --> 0:36:24.600 experienced the trope, like they have experienced a man choosing 0:36:24.680 --> 0:36:30.080 the other woman based on her comfortability in her divine 0:36:30.160 --> 0:36:31.799 or dark feminine. 0:36:31.239 --> 0:36:32.480 Which you know which will happen. 0:36:32.480 --> 0:36:34.719 Because if I'm comfortable in all parts of myself, I'm 0:36:34.760 --> 0:36:38.440 automatically going to be attractive to people males, and like 0:36:38.480 --> 0:36:40.960 that is another thing about like even this conversation is 0:36:41.000 --> 0:36:44.400 about suppressing the darkness or suppressing sides of yourself for acceptance, 0:36:44.480 --> 0:36:46.840 is actually going to do the opposite, because until you 0:36:46.920 --> 0:36:50.120 accept all parts of yourself, no one else will. And 0:36:50.160 --> 0:36:52.440 it's like when I show up and like maybe my 0:36:52.520 --> 0:36:55.239 titties are out, and maybe you're confused by it and 0:36:55.360 --> 0:36:57.040 like you don't like it, but you're also like kind 0:36:57.080 --> 0:37:01.399 of intrigued and gravitate towards it's because you are seeing 0:37:01.440 --> 0:37:03.319 an example of someone who is showing up in their 0:37:03.360 --> 0:37:07.560 full self and so automatically it's it's it's appealing. 0:37:07.600 --> 0:37:09.080 But even if you can't understand it. 0:37:09.320 --> 0:37:11.680 But I think that like women are so have been 0:37:11.719 --> 0:37:15.560 so used to suppressing the natural parts of themselves because 0:37:15.640 --> 0:37:17.680 let's face it, you cannot take the sex away from 0:37:17.719 --> 0:37:20.680 the woman. It is all encompassing. And so if you're 0:37:20.680 --> 0:37:23.480 trying to avoid your sex, you're trying to avoid your sexiness, 0:37:23.480 --> 0:37:27.120 your sexuality, you are going to be partitioned, you know, 0:37:27.200 --> 0:37:28.440 like I don't know if that's the right word, but 0:37:28.840 --> 0:37:31.360 you're going to be you know, you're segregating yourself. 0:37:31.880 --> 0:37:33.240 It's part to mentalizing yourself. 0:37:33.239 --> 0:37:35.960 And so, you know, even for me, even growing up, 0:37:36.000 --> 0:37:39.279 I've always been like very in tune with my sexuality, 0:37:39.360 --> 0:37:40.480 very in tune with my body. 0:37:40.520 --> 0:37:42.360 I do not like clothes. 0:37:42.400 --> 0:37:45.080 If we could have a topless podcast, I fucking would, 0:37:45.560 --> 0:37:48.440 but you know then that would we be on only fans. 0:37:48.880 --> 0:37:50.719 But can you bring up a good point? This is 0:37:50.760 --> 0:37:52.600 the point I've brought up to my audience a lot, 0:37:52.760 --> 0:37:55.400 is because sometimes people will want to say that you 0:37:55.440 --> 0:37:58.920 were indoctrinated through like the hyper sexualization of MTV. I 0:37:59.000 --> 0:38:01.600 was like, no, when when I was four years old, 0:38:01.719 --> 0:38:04.719 I was watching Pamela Anderson. I was watching pretty well. 0:38:04.760 --> 0:38:08.440 I remember watching Roger Rabbit solely to watch Jessica. I 0:38:08.480 --> 0:38:09.239 was like, put the. 0:38:09.239 --> 0:38:12.640 Bitch on with the big literally like I like her. 0:38:12.800 --> 0:38:13.719 I do like her. 0:38:13.800 --> 0:38:15.960 And when you think think about this, think about when 0:38:16.000 --> 0:38:18.640 you look at her message, she goes, I'm not bad. 0:38:18.680 --> 0:38:19.759 I was just drawn this way. 0:38:20.080 --> 0:38:22.960 And for a lot of us as dark femininess, who 0:38:23.000 --> 0:38:26.239 are going to be overtly presenting that, because it's one 0:38:26.280 --> 0:38:29.239 thing to be dark femine, but then to present in 0:38:29.280 --> 0:38:32.440 that way too, You're gonna get those taboos and you're 0:38:32.640 --> 0:38:35.239 gonna get this stigmas because you're literally a representation of 0:38:35.320 --> 0:38:37.200 a lot of feminine rebellion. 0:38:37.719 --> 0:38:38.719 And so I did. 0:38:39.960 --> 0:38:42.400 I did like a poll one time on my page 0:38:42.400 --> 0:38:45.479 and I said, as a woman, did you have any 0:38:45.680 --> 0:38:48.680 archetypes or you know, women in movies or whatever that 0:38:48.719 --> 0:38:51.720 you really loved that were aged inappropriate for your age? 0:38:52.040 --> 0:38:55.560 And have you found yourself coming to embody that energy 0:38:55.960 --> 0:38:58.600 or are you still ashamed because you want to? And 0:38:58.680 --> 0:39:03.439 it was so wild how many women were like, Wow, yes, 0:39:03.520 --> 0:39:05.919 I was drawn to this. And you know, I didn't 0:39:05.960 --> 0:39:07.880 want to play with Barbie's I wanted to watch dance 0:39:07.880 --> 0:39:10.640 all queen. You know, I wanted to watch Zena. I 0:39:10.680 --> 0:39:12.759 wanted to watch Pam out with her today, you know. 0:39:13.080 --> 0:39:15.640 So I truly believe that a lot of us do 0:39:15.760 --> 0:39:21.160 come knowing our archetypes, but we're not allowed the space 0:39:21.200 --> 0:39:23.360 to explore them, and we just don't have the parents 0:39:23.400 --> 0:39:26.319 that can guide us, you know, because I do think, yes, 0:39:26.360 --> 0:39:29.520 there are things that are age appropriate, but having the 0:39:29.640 --> 0:39:33.120 right parent to guide you and be like, okay, well 0:39:33.120 --> 0:39:35.400 this is your expression, like I'm gonna let you do it. 0:39:35.520 --> 0:39:37.839 My mom was always open with me with like letting 0:39:37.880 --> 0:39:40.080 me dye my hair and makeup and stuff like that. 0:39:40.520 --> 0:39:42.840 But for the most part, you know, like I've always 0:39:42.840 --> 0:39:45.520 been who I've been, and when I look back, I 0:39:45.560 --> 0:39:47.880 was like, that's vision who the fuck she was. And 0:39:47.920 --> 0:39:50.840 so really, when I went through my spiritual awakening, it 0:39:50.920 --> 0:39:53.799 was really just a return to who she always knew 0:39:53.960 --> 0:39:56.799 she was. And for a lot of people, it's like that. 0:39:57.200 --> 0:39:58.560 But a lot of people were just like, oh, no, 0:39:58.640 --> 0:40:00.640 you do this for the male gaze, Sorry, are you 0:40:00.719 --> 0:40:02.520 do this? It's like, no, bitch, I wanted to be 0:40:02.600 --> 0:40:05.040 Jessica Rabbit from the Towels for honestly, god, I. 0:40:05.040 --> 0:40:07.320 Think that's really I think that's a really good question 0:40:07.440 --> 0:40:10.080 to ask yourself, is like what were the archetypes that 0:40:10.160 --> 0:40:10.840 you were drawn to? 0:40:11.760 --> 0:40:15.520 Were you just a child to thee? Yeah, because again like 0:40:15.560 --> 0:40:17.279 when you think about like did you have anyone in 0:40:17.320 --> 0:40:20.360 your like no, be that It's like no, like that's 0:40:20.440 --> 0:40:22.360 that's just what my spirit. 0:40:22.040 --> 0:40:23.319 Wanted, which you were attracted to. 0:40:23.400 --> 0:40:25.680 Because I was always drawn to the dark, like the 0:40:25.760 --> 0:40:29.279 dark witchy, like saying kind of like evil person, not 0:40:29.320 --> 0:40:31.080 even and like because I just feel like she was 0:40:31.080 --> 0:40:34.040 powerful and she was mysterious, and there was always like 0:40:34.040 --> 0:40:36.520 an element of sexuality attached to it. 0:40:36.680 --> 0:40:39.719 Always I would tell people all the time, like I 0:40:39.800 --> 0:40:44.160 remember watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer when I was really young, 0:40:44.200 --> 0:40:46.719 and not just not the series, but the movie and 0:40:46.800 --> 0:40:50.040 being enamored with it. And then I remember, I literally 0:40:50.080 --> 0:40:53.200 remember to this day when the series came out and 0:40:53.239 --> 0:40:54.560 I was like standing in the living room and I 0:40:54.560 --> 0:40:56.640 heard the music. I was like, what's that? Or when 0:40:56.640 --> 0:40:59.520 the Craft came out? Craft the Craft. 0:40:59.520 --> 0:41:01.040 I always say about that, and I was like I 0:41:01.080 --> 0:41:04.680 wanted to be Who's the darkest one? Miranda the crazy 0:41:05.160 --> 0:41:07.480 love Nancy and then she went a little off the 0:41:07.520 --> 0:41:09.920 deep in the end, but in the beginning, I was like, 0:41:09.960 --> 0:41:12.480 I fucking love her. I love her, And they were like, 0:41:12.480 --> 0:41:14.160 you don't like the like the light skinned black girl, 0:41:14.239 --> 0:41:14.960 that's more your vibe. 0:41:15.080 --> 0:41:17.600 Like, no, bitch, I'm Nancy dark one. 0:41:18.239 --> 0:41:19.799 But you know what that That's another thing I was 0:41:19.800 --> 0:41:21.879 just thinking about this conversation before I even got here, 0:41:21.960 --> 0:41:25.520 is that, like the beauty of childhood and of children 0:41:26.040 --> 0:41:29.399 is that they're just blindly attracted to what they're they're 0:41:29.440 --> 0:41:32.279 attracted to and without question and same like as a child, 0:41:32.440 --> 0:41:34.319 we were fucking in the valley, watching the craft light 0:41:34.360 --> 0:41:36.680 as a featherfucking stuff as a board, doing the Ouiji 0:41:36.719 --> 0:41:38.359 board and shit, and you know, as we get older, 0:41:38.360 --> 0:41:39.239 I'm like, is that some white people? 0:41:39.239 --> 0:41:41.000 Shit, No bitch, you're just a witch from birth. 0:41:41.440 --> 0:41:43.960 And same Jessica Rabbits and like even like me saying 0:41:44.000 --> 0:41:46.000 I saw Daphne and the whole foods and she didn't 0:41:46.000 --> 0:41:48.279 have braun. And I remember as a child thinking I 0:41:48.320 --> 0:41:50.520 want to be that type of mom. Like these are 0:41:50.560 --> 0:41:53.319 the things that I was automatically just drawn to not 0:41:53.480 --> 0:41:56.080 and then later in my life I question why I 0:41:56.200 --> 0:41:58.160 was this way or if something was wrong with me. 0:41:58.760 --> 0:42:00.960 But like there's this like in a sense and freedom 0:42:01.000 --> 0:42:03.640 that children come into the come and come into the 0:42:03.800 --> 0:42:06.960 earth with that we take away from them and even us, 0:42:07.000 --> 0:42:10.319 like we both have daughters, and my daughter is like, 0:42:10.360 --> 0:42:12.440 you know, even they're they're young, they're eight and they're you. 0:42:12.440 --> 0:42:13.239 Know, almost nine. 0:42:13.560 --> 0:42:16.000 But I see her like dancing to certain music certain 0:42:16.040 --> 0:42:18.840 ways like like me, and I'm like, oh, that's dope, 0:42:18.960 --> 0:42:21.240 you know, like you were in tune with your sensuality 0:42:21.280 --> 0:42:23.239 and it does not scare me. But when I was 0:42:23.280 --> 0:42:25.319 a kid and I wanted to fucking work glitter, my 0:42:25.400 --> 0:42:27.279 mom was like, you're being crown you know. 0:42:27.360 --> 0:42:29.719 Oh my god. One of my best core memories. Let 0:42:29.719 --> 0:42:33.160 me tell you. There was a point in time we 0:42:33.200 --> 0:42:35.680 lived in Pennsylvania in the nineties, just for a little bit, 0:42:36.200 --> 0:42:38.240 and I would go to the mall and we walked 0:42:38.280 --> 0:42:41.080 past Baker's and I'd be like, Mom, can I get 0:42:41.080 --> 0:42:43.200 the thigh high boots? Like I would beg her, I 0:42:43.200 --> 0:42:46.760 would scream. I was like, I want white thigh high boots. 0:42:47.080 --> 0:42:50.040 I was obsessed with And eventually my mom was like, okay, 0:42:50.080 --> 0:42:52.200 they were flat. She got me them. But I'm like, 0:42:52.239 --> 0:42:54.480 why was I always obsessed with the hooker boots of 0:42:54.560 --> 0:42:57.360 the time I was a kid, I love them, you 0:42:57.360 --> 0:42:59.920 know what I mean? And my like my best haul 0:43:00.120 --> 0:43:02.880 we ever as a child, my mom made me a 0:43:02.960 --> 0:43:04.440 zena warrior princess outfit. 0:43:05.239 --> 0:43:07.439 She like took one of her bootyas me too. 0:43:07.880 --> 0:43:10.480 She took one of her boosier's and she like bedazzled 0:43:10.520 --> 0:43:12.960 it with like things for me, and then she like 0:43:13.000 --> 0:43:14.680 made a little leather skirt. She like cut it and 0:43:14.719 --> 0:43:18.000 made the pleats and I like had no titties of course, right, 0:43:18.239 --> 0:43:19.960 but like it was this booty. I was like, I'm 0:43:20.040 --> 0:43:23.080 seen again. Like a lot of us knew our archetypes, 0:43:23.239 --> 0:43:26.600 and I've always identified with the healer, the warrior, and 0:43:26.640 --> 0:43:28.880 the whore. Those are those are my archetypes. 0:43:28.920 --> 0:43:30.160 How many archetypes are there? 0:43:30.560 --> 0:43:30.960 Do we know? 0:43:31.400 --> 0:43:31.560 No? 0:43:31.600 --> 0:43:34.239 I mean I think it's different, yeah, but I just 0:43:34.280 --> 0:43:37.200 I've come to realize, like and again, like there people 0:43:37.239 --> 0:43:39.080 are gonna tell you, like you can't be all of them? 0:43:39.120 --> 0:43:42.520 Why not, like you jam at different layers. 0:43:42.880 --> 0:43:45.359 And then that goes back to the conversation about like 0:43:45.440 --> 0:43:48.360 this this idea of how we're supposed to show up 0:43:48.400 --> 0:43:50.600 as healers or in the spiritual world or if you're 0:43:50.600 --> 0:43:52.080 a whore, just a whore and that's all you ever 0:43:52.160 --> 0:43:54.120 be and all the and like even the spiritual men 0:43:54.239 --> 0:43:56.160 and how they're like really. 0:43:57.520 --> 0:44:00.239 Perpetuating a lot of the Like I. 0:44:00.320 --> 0:44:02.600 Feel like it's like deepening the patriarchy in some way. 0:44:02.640 --> 0:44:04.120 This is c it's. 0:44:03.880 --> 0:44:07.359 Creating and even more divide of like Okay, well now 0:44:07.480 --> 0:44:10.000 if you don't look like this as the healer, then 0:44:10.040 --> 0:44:11.040 you're still a whore. 0:44:11.160 --> 0:44:12.280 Actually you're a bigger horror. 0:44:13.080 --> 0:44:17.160 But it really is understanding that as a healer and 0:44:17.200 --> 0:44:19.200 when you have a community and you have a tribe, 0:44:19.200 --> 0:44:22.280 like you said, it's like, yeah, I'm feminine and I'm soft, 0:44:22.480 --> 0:44:25.279 but I also have to know that there's going to 0:44:25.320 --> 0:44:27.279 be a part of me because this is true, like 0:44:27.520 --> 0:44:30.799 that have a masculine energy because bitch, who the fuck 0:44:30.840 --> 0:44:31.600 are you talking to? 0:44:32.000 --> 0:44:32.480 You know what I mean? 0:44:32.640 --> 0:44:34.400 Because there are going to be men and people who 0:44:34.440 --> 0:44:37.040 are going to challenge us in our in our power 0:44:37.160 --> 0:44:40.080 and in our purpose, and we have to kind of 0:44:40.080 --> 0:44:43.160 have some of that energy to kind of deflect and 0:44:43.160 --> 0:44:45.200 and stand up for what we believe in because we 0:44:45.280 --> 0:44:48.440 live in a society that's so heavily one way and that, 0:44:48.640 --> 0:44:51.600 and we are like literally the pieces of the puzzle 0:44:51.640 --> 0:44:54.280 in this time that are breaking women out of that place, 0:44:54.600 --> 0:44:56.360 and so in order to do that, we can't be 0:44:56.400 --> 0:44:57.719 easily fucking confused. 0:44:57.800 --> 0:45:00.400 I've had I've had a woman tell me that she 0:45:00.520 --> 0:45:03.600 thought my femininity was too aggressive, and I was like, well, 0:45:03.640 --> 0:45:04.920 I'm going to be that bitch to tell you that 0:45:04.960 --> 0:45:08.120 feminine leadership is not easy. One of the things that 0:45:08.200 --> 0:45:09.880 I think a lot of women, especially coming into the 0:45:09.880 --> 0:45:11.560 spiritual leadership space, is. 0:45:11.520 --> 0:45:13.640 Like, this is gonna be easy for me as women. 0:45:13.880 --> 0:45:16.359 No it's not, And you're going to have to have 0:45:16.440 --> 0:45:21.480 a level of aggression and boundaries and really show up 0:45:21.600 --> 0:45:24.960 because there are literally women watching you waiting for you 0:45:25.000 --> 0:45:26.960 to stand up for yourself so that they can feel 0:45:27.000 --> 0:45:27.680 confident too. 0:45:28.120 --> 0:45:28.319 You know. 0:45:28.360 --> 0:45:31.319 I went on a podcast recently that really wasn't necessarily 0:45:31.360 --> 0:45:33.880 something I had done before. I was very used to 0:45:33.920 --> 0:45:36.160 being on podcasts with like, like minded individuals, and I 0:45:36.239 --> 0:45:40.160 got thrown into like a Man of Spet podcast. It's 0:45:40.200 --> 0:45:44.239 called Anxiety Issues podcast one that we got thrown like 0:45:44.640 --> 0:45:46.799 the guy, the guy that I went head to head with. 0:45:46.880 --> 0:45:49.000 It was a good exercise for me because I was like, Wow, 0:45:49.040 --> 0:45:52.239 this is like what we're really dealing with, And a 0:45:52.239 --> 0:45:53.880 lot of my following was like that was just a 0:45:53.920 --> 0:45:56.160 waste of your time. And you know, I said it 0:45:56.239 --> 0:45:59.279 wasn't because even if what you guys got for it 0:45:59.360 --> 0:46:01.880 was seeing me advocate for myself and stand on my 0:46:02.000 --> 0:46:04.840 square and no matter what the fuck he said, I 0:46:04.920 --> 0:46:05.839 wasn't backing down. 0:46:05.880 --> 0:46:07.880 That's what y'all needed to see, and I said, and 0:46:07.920 --> 0:46:08.560 I didn't. 0:46:08.280 --> 0:46:10.120 Have to fight him. I was in my femine energy. 0:46:10.120 --> 0:46:12.879 I was like, okay, bro, all right, right, Like that's 0:46:12.880 --> 0:46:14.759 what y'all needed to see, because you also give too 0:46:14.760 --> 0:46:18.319 many these men your energy. Some of these podcasts like 0:46:18.520 --> 0:46:21.399 women being angry in the comments like please, bitch, take 0:46:21.440 --> 0:46:24.400 back your energy because a lot of that's energy harvesting. 0:46:24.920 --> 0:46:26.879 You know, they're just using this shit to get rich 0:46:26.960 --> 0:46:29.680 off of women who are angry. Yeah, And I also 0:46:29.760 --> 0:46:32.839 held women accountable in my following because I said, I've 0:46:32.880 --> 0:46:36.560 done so many great podcasts with men who are healing, 0:46:37.080 --> 0:46:39.799 who are doing the work, that are beautiful, and y'all, 0:46:39.800 --> 0:46:41.759 bitches be crickets on this ship and you went in 0:46:41.800 --> 0:46:43.520 for this man. So you're also a part of the 0:46:43.560 --> 0:46:45.120 problem what you give your energy to. 0:46:47.400 --> 0:46:50.200 I mean, I mean that's true. And the energy, the 0:46:50.400 --> 0:46:54.000 energy harvesting is a real, a real thing. And I think, 0:46:54.320 --> 0:46:57.160 you know, for you talk going back to like being 0:46:57.239 --> 0:47:00.920 aggressive or whatever I think, and talking about the light 0:47:00.920 --> 0:47:03.719 in the dark, like I think the light feminine that 0:47:03.800 --> 0:47:06.840 like we hear on the internet, the soft woman, which obviously, 0:47:06.880 --> 0:47:09.040 like I think women we all want to be able 0:47:09.040 --> 0:47:12.080 to encompass that as well, is more like the nurturer. 0:47:12.400 --> 0:47:14.960 It's like the one the woman that walks with compassion, 0:47:15.640 --> 0:47:16.560 who is kind. 0:47:17.200 --> 0:47:20.320 And then the dark feminine is the one that's ready 0:47:20.320 --> 0:47:24.719 to transform, the one that's in her sacral energy that's 0:47:24.880 --> 0:47:29.080 you know, is the more aggressor. And I think you can't. 0:47:29.160 --> 0:47:31.959 You have to have both. You do even as a mother, 0:47:32.480 --> 0:47:35.720 like you have to have both. You can't be walking 0:47:35.760 --> 0:47:39.880 in your soft feminine when when a danger comes towards 0:47:39.880 --> 0:47:42.879 your child, no, bit, that's when that dark feminine comes through. 0:47:42.920 --> 0:47:46.600 And it's not necessarily a negative, it is just protection necessary. 0:47:46.880 --> 0:47:49.160 Yeah, I tell people all the time, soft life has 0:47:49.200 --> 0:47:51.800 to be maintained. If you just think you're gonna get. 0:47:51.680 --> 0:47:53.520 You can't light you have because you have to have 0:47:53.560 --> 0:47:55.440 hard life in order to know what soft life is. 0:47:56.040 --> 0:47:59.560 You have to do. There's the duality that has to either. 0:48:00.040 --> 0:48:03.040 Self life is not linear, like I always even though 0:48:03.040 --> 0:48:05.399 I tell women like you can be yeah, you would 0:48:05.440 --> 0:48:07.279 want to align yourself, but maybe let's say with a 0:48:07.320 --> 0:48:09.960 consistent partner that allows you the most self life as possible. 0:48:10.120 --> 0:48:15.000 But as women, you're often attracting the masculine that's at 0:48:15.000 --> 0:48:18.160 the level that your masculine energy's at. So I always 0:48:18.200 --> 0:48:20.840 when I coach my women, I'm like, your masculine energy 0:48:20.880 --> 0:48:22.480 kind of has to be like your lawyer, like, what's 0:48:22.480 --> 0:48:24.400 your agreement? So when a man's coming to the table 0:48:24.440 --> 0:48:26.720 with you, it's like, hey, this is my good sess, 0:48:26.760 --> 0:48:30.640 this is her contract, like these particulations to her agreements. 0:48:30.680 --> 0:48:32.520 Can you meet that? Yes or no? And if the 0:48:32.560 --> 0:48:35.359 answer is no, it's like, okay, well nice meeting with you. 0:48:35.680 --> 0:48:37.799 We're not coming into contract. But a lot of women 0:48:37.800 --> 0:48:39.560 are like, I don't understand why he can't show up 0:48:39.600 --> 0:48:42.560 as the man that I was like, because your inner masculine, 0:48:42.560 --> 0:48:46.040 your inner lawyer, has not presented a contract. 0:48:45.520 --> 0:48:47.279 An agreement that you're happy with. 0:48:47.360 --> 0:48:50.080 But again going back to Limericks, going back to lack, 0:48:50.400 --> 0:48:54.520 a lot of people just settle. People settle and they. 0:48:54.400 --> 0:48:58.000 Don't advocate for themselves, and they just assume like this 0:48:58.040 --> 0:48:59.000 is as good as it's going to get. 0:48:59.000 --> 0:49:01.160 And there's no other guys that you know as good 0:49:01.239 --> 0:49:01.680 or whatever. 0:49:01.800 --> 0:49:03.879 So I'm just gonna like hope and pray and pour 0:49:04.040 --> 0:49:05.560 and hope that you get to where I want you 0:49:05.600 --> 0:49:06.000 to be at. 0:49:06.160 --> 0:49:08.080 And even back to what you said earlier, like I 0:49:08.239 --> 0:49:10.640 found I've been on two podcasts spaces in the past 0:49:11.040 --> 0:49:13.560 months and this has happened for men and women alike, 0:49:13.600 --> 0:49:16.520 where people want to weaponize singleness right where you're like, well, 0:49:16.600 --> 0:49:19.279 you're such a bad spiritual bitch and you're so this, 0:49:19.480 --> 0:49:22.239 if you're such a catch, why are you single? We 0:49:22.360 --> 0:49:26.560 don't talk about enough that the higher ranking you are 0:49:26.600 --> 0:49:29.319 as a spiritual woman, the harder it is in the 0:49:29.400 --> 0:49:32.799 dating pool. And you know, going back to to like 0:49:33.120 --> 0:49:35.359 some of the tests that we get is having an 0:49:35.480 --> 0:49:38.480 enemy in our fucking bed. You know. Like one of 0:49:38.480 --> 0:49:41.720 the best movies I've watched recently to understand spiritual attack 0:49:41.920 --> 0:49:43.279 was The Pope's Exorcist. 0:49:43.880 --> 0:49:44.560 I just saw that. 0:49:44.960 --> 0:49:46.839 You know what I loved about it so much was 0:49:47.440 --> 0:49:52.200 that demon like literally, you know, like resurrected itself. 0:49:51.920 --> 0:49:54.840 And was like, I'm going for the top dog, right 0:49:55.120 --> 0:49:57.160 He's like, I want the top dog because if I 0:49:57.200 --> 0:49:59.640 get to the top dog, there's so much damage. 0:49:59.320 --> 0:50:02.160 I can do right right, right again. 0:50:02.239 --> 0:50:05.800 Whether it's spiritual women in leadership or just powerful women. 0:50:06.000 --> 0:50:10.000 Men have been used a lot because we have human 0:50:10.840 --> 0:50:14.120 female hearts and we want love. But you have to 0:50:14.160 --> 0:50:17.360 ask yourself what are you willing to do to have it? 0:50:19.200 --> 0:50:22.920 And there's times where like, yeah, spirit sends these tests 0:50:22.960 --> 0:50:25.640 where the fucking enemy sleeping in the bed, these spiritually 0:50:25.800 --> 0:50:26.279 just be real. 0:50:27.480 --> 0:50:29.799 And that's why I even made the comparison of like 0:50:29.880 --> 0:50:31.920 what this is how I learned about this, like when 0:50:31.960 --> 0:50:35.480 I was like in church, when in eighth grade like that, 0:50:35.480 --> 0:50:37.520 that that was the only way I could put it, 0:50:37.560 --> 0:50:38.120 like the test. 0:50:38.280 --> 0:50:39.200 But that's the thing. 0:50:39.200 --> 0:50:41.200 It's like, no matter what you title it or whatever 0:50:41.400 --> 0:50:43.760 like package you put it in it, whether it's Christianity 0:50:43.840 --> 0:50:47.280 or Catholicism or Judaism and whatever the fuck, there's always 0:50:47.360 --> 0:50:50.160 going to be test. And so like, the spiritual realm 0:50:50.200 --> 0:50:52.600 is a spiritual realm. And when you're a spiritualist and 0:50:52.600 --> 0:50:55.279 you're a spiritual warrior and a spiritual person and a 0:50:55.320 --> 0:50:58.040 spiritual leader, it doesn't matter what the title is or 0:50:58.040 --> 0:51:00.880 the label is, or what religion you are practicing. The 0:51:01.320 --> 0:51:03.800 further you get in your practice, there will be tests. 0:51:04.239 --> 0:51:06.319 And I like that you use the exorcis of the 0:51:06.320 --> 0:51:09.319 Pope as an example because it's true. There was like 0:51:09.520 --> 0:51:15.520 the the demon, the devil had strategy. My nickig let 0:51:15.560 --> 0:51:15.879 me tell. 0:51:15.800 --> 0:51:17.640 You something I tell people all the time. I was like, 0:51:17.800 --> 0:51:22.040 I fucking give dark energy so much of their due 0:51:22.040 --> 0:51:23.920 because the motherfuckers work over time. Have you ever heard 0:51:23.920 --> 0:51:25.960 this pot It's like Chris Janner works hard, the devil 0:51:26.239 --> 0:51:29.399 works harder. But I was like, no, Like I meet 0:51:29.520 --> 0:51:32.960 so many mpaths and light workers that are scary. They're like, 0:51:33.120 --> 0:51:35.759 I'm so tired, I want to give up. And I 0:51:35.800 --> 0:51:39.200 was like, that's why that energy whooput you'll ask because 0:51:39.200 --> 0:51:41.560 your work ethic. Like I was talking with my friend 0:51:41.560 --> 0:51:43.319 the other day about like you know what, Kim got 0:51:43.400 --> 0:51:45.920 dragged for saying, you bet just don't want to work. 0:51:46.000 --> 0:51:48.120 It's like it's the truth, Like you need to fucking 0:51:48.160 --> 0:51:50.960 work your ass off. Will be doing your work because 0:51:51.280 --> 0:51:54.160 the work ethic of dark energy. And there's people who 0:51:54.160 --> 0:51:55.799 want to avoid it. They're like, oh, if I don't 0:51:55.800 --> 0:51:58.359 go outside, then I will or if I don't do this. 0:51:58.440 --> 0:52:00.520 So many people avoid their calling and their purpose because 0:52:00.520 --> 0:52:03.759 they're scary of this energy. When especially light workers and 0:52:03.760 --> 0:52:07.359 empaths were built for this shit. Uh, Harry Potter didn't 0:52:07.360 --> 0:52:09.200 go to the school fucking love and light. He was 0:52:09.239 --> 0:52:11.320 in the school gets the defense, agains the dark arts. 0:52:11.600 --> 0:52:15.799 So again, people don't want the spiritual discernment. It's like, 0:52:15.800 --> 0:52:18.720 why wouldn't you want the spiritual discernment? But it comes 0:52:18.840 --> 0:52:24.320 more responsibility, more responsibility. But yeah, the dark the dark energy, 0:52:24.480 --> 0:52:25.839 like their work ethic. 0:52:25.640 --> 0:52:29.520 Is impeccable because they're constantly walking through it. Yeah, you 0:52:29.600 --> 0:52:32.160 have to walk through like like you said, I'm listening 0:52:32.200 --> 0:52:34.800 to you talk about just like the the light and 0:52:34.960 --> 0:52:37.000 energy workers that want to live in just the light 0:52:37.120 --> 0:52:40.240 and light energy. It's like, well, yeah, bitch, it's easy 0:52:40.239 --> 0:52:42.960 over there, isn't it. So when something does come your way, 0:52:43.600 --> 0:52:46.160 you're exhausted and you haven't really put in the work 0:52:46.520 --> 0:52:49.600 spiritually to arm yourself for and do the work for 0:52:49.640 --> 0:52:51.520 these type of moments, for these types of this, for 0:52:51.560 --> 0:52:52.920 the work that you're actually being called to do. 0:52:53.200 --> 0:52:55.399 Their spectrums you're about. So again, when you think about 0:52:55.440 --> 0:52:58.040 we have people who are unawakened, who are living in 0:52:58.040 --> 0:53:01.520 complete utter ignorance that doesn't want to take accountability, and 0:53:01.560 --> 0:53:03.520 then you have people who do awaken they're like. 0:53:03.520 --> 0:53:07.000 It's all love and light and they're still in spiritual bypassing. 0:53:06.719 --> 0:53:10.200 And wanting to live in that ignorance and avoidance is like, no, 0:53:10.320 --> 0:53:11.719 you have to kind of be right there in the 0:53:11.719 --> 0:53:15.160 middle and you have to you have to want to 0:53:15.200 --> 0:53:16.360 face the darkness head on. 0:53:20.400 --> 0:53:23.360 Well, I have a question for you. We usually have 0:53:23.400 --> 0:53:24.920 to ask our guests to share an affirmation. 0:53:24.960 --> 0:53:26.560 I feel like right now is a good time as 0:53:26.560 --> 0:53:29.960 we're trying to figure out what it is that drives 0:53:30.000 --> 0:53:31.960 us empowers us to kind of walk through these tind 0:53:32.000 --> 0:53:35.400 of these type of journeys, in these paths, do you 0:53:35.440 --> 0:53:38.399 have an affirmation that maybe you that you live by 0:53:38.480 --> 0:53:39.239 that it helps you. 0:53:40.880 --> 0:53:41.759 I feel empowered. 0:53:43.160 --> 0:53:43.360 You know. 0:53:43.400 --> 0:53:46.640 It sounds so simple, but it's funny. My mom always 0:53:46.840 --> 0:53:48.640 my mom always says that I said this, and I 0:53:48.680 --> 0:53:50.719 wasn't cognizant of saying it's just like I'm gonna figure 0:53:50.719 --> 0:53:53.400 it out. That sounds so simple, But it's just like 0:53:53.480 --> 0:53:56.240 I think that so many people feel so like I said, 0:53:56.560 --> 0:54:00.520 deepen their victim and that they're not capable and something 0:54:00.600 --> 0:54:03.040 is like I always like pull myself together, like, but 0:54:03.120 --> 0:54:04.680 you we gonna figure this out. 0:54:05.640 --> 0:54:06.120 I love that. 0:54:06.480 --> 0:54:08.520 It's just you know, that's what just Kane is like, 0:54:08.520 --> 0:54:09.640 I'm gonna figure this out. 0:54:09.680 --> 0:54:11.560 I'm going to figure this out, figure this out. 0:54:11.600 --> 0:54:13.359 I'm figure I'm gonna figure this ship out. 0:54:13.560 --> 0:54:14.239 And we always do. 0:54:15.320 --> 0:54:22.359 We always do, not always not that we don't. 0:54:22.680 --> 0:54:26.360 The people that stay in those in victimhood and stay 0:54:26.480 --> 0:54:29.160 in certain situations because they're like I don't want to 0:54:29.200 --> 0:54:29.719 figure it out. 0:54:29.719 --> 0:54:31.040 I'm gonna just I'm good right here. 0:54:31.360 --> 0:54:32.160 Yeah. 0:54:32.200 --> 0:54:35.160 So if you if you feel that way, just listen, 0:54:35.440 --> 0:54:37.359 put write that on the mirror in the morning. I'm 0:54:37.400 --> 0:54:39.879 gonna figure this ship out because you can. 0:54:40.160 --> 0:54:42.600 You can, but I will say I feel like a 0:54:42.600 --> 0:54:44.319 lot of women don't and men don't too. 0:54:44.480 --> 0:54:46.080 You can figure it out if you wish figure it out. 0:54:46.160 --> 0:54:48.239 Yeah, if you have the desire to figure it out 0:54:48.239 --> 0:54:50.879 and you know that you have the wherewithal, then it will. 0:54:50.960 --> 0:54:55.359 Like life is a balance of surrender and action. You 0:54:55.440 --> 0:54:57.319 just have to know the moments when you have to 0:54:57.360 --> 0:55:00.160 surrender and the moments where it's you have to be 0:55:00.160 --> 0:55:01.240 accountable to take action. 0:55:02.120 --> 0:55:04.719 And that's the that's the hard part people. That's where 0:55:04.760 --> 0:55:08.160 people struggle, you know, like when like how many biplaques? 0:55:08.239 --> 0:55:09.719 Is it time? Should I chill out? 0:55:09.800 --> 0:55:12.040 Maybe it'll change, you know what I mean, It's like 0:55:12.040 --> 0:55:15.000 a constant like you know, but I think that's where 0:55:15.040 --> 0:55:17.719 like the intuition comes in in that inner voice and 0:55:17.760 --> 0:55:20.880 whether or not you can honor it or not. I know, 0:55:20.920 --> 0:55:24.640 we like jumped right in, but I'm curious. We know 0:55:24.920 --> 0:55:26.440 we talked a little bit before we started, but like, 0:55:26.520 --> 0:55:28.480 what has your journey been into this work? 0:55:29.320 --> 0:55:32.960 Well, going back to Buffy the Vampires, Like people laugh 0:55:32.960 --> 0:55:36.040 when I say this, So, like, I first of all 0:55:36.200 --> 0:55:37.880 went to I went to college. You know, I was 0:55:37.920 --> 0:55:40.399 a very I was a chronic overplanner. I started college 0:55:40.400 --> 0:55:43.680 when I was sixteen. I was done by like almost nineteen. 0:55:43.719 --> 0:55:45.480 I was gonna have my master's by twenty one, and 0:55:45.480 --> 0:55:47.080 I had planned. I was like and then I was like, 0:55:47.120 --> 0:55:48.640 I'm gonna, you know, get married, and I'm gonna do 0:55:48.760 --> 0:55:51.840 this spare life. Fuck your plans, Fuck your plans. So 0:55:53.719 --> 0:55:56.759 I went to art school and I was on path 0:55:56.800 --> 0:56:00.359 to be a celebrity photographer. And when I started free say, 0:56:00.400 --> 0:56:04.080 I just wasn't enjoying it. And I remember going to 0:56:04.080 --> 0:56:06.480 see the movie Eat, Pray Love in two thousand and 0:56:06.600 --> 0:56:09.719 nine and I left the theater being like, I need 0:56:09.719 --> 0:56:11.560 one of those moments it's like, but you're like twenty one, 0:56:11.600 --> 0:56:13.840 whych fuck you need one of those moms. So I said, 0:56:13.880 --> 0:56:15.760 like I felt like I was going through a beginning 0:56:15.800 --> 0:56:20.200 life crisis, and so I like wish to the universe, 0:56:20.360 --> 0:56:23.000 like give me one of those moments, like I need 0:56:23.040 --> 0:56:23.960 to figure it out. 0:56:23.840 --> 0:56:25.839 Like I'm doing what I thought I wanted to do, 0:56:25.920 --> 0:56:26.960 but it's just not working. 0:56:28.320 --> 0:56:32.160 And so in twenty twelve, So the last real job 0:56:32.200 --> 0:56:34.640 I had was in two thousand and nine, and so 0:56:34.760 --> 0:56:38.080 in twenty twelve, I actually met a woman through one 0:56:38.080 --> 0:56:42.960 of my photographer friends, and she Ronnie Players clubbed me. 0:56:43.640 --> 0:56:47.160 She's Ronnie, but she's like, she's like, bitch, you need 0:56:47.200 --> 0:56:52.200 some money, you want a job? Like okay, She's like, 0:56:52.280 --> 0:56:55.640 show up where this come this place on this day? 0:56:56.480 --> 0:56:59.640 And so I went on the north side of Atlanta 0:56:59.719 --> 0:57:01.960 and lady was like, you got a car. How many 0:57:02.000 --> 0:57:04.560 days a week can you work? Can you start right now? 0:57:04.600 --> 0:57:10.040 And I'm like okay. And my homegirl took me into 0:57:10.040 --> 0:57:16.080 a fucking room and it walks a white business professional man. 0:57:16.040 --> 0:57:18.600 And he takes off his clothes and he lays on 0:57:18.640 --> 0:57:19.000 the table. 0:57:19.080 --> 0:57:20.800 My friend said, sit in the corner and watch me. 0:57:21.560 --> 0:57:24.520 And I was like okay, and then this bitch is 0:57:24.600 --> 0:57:27.960 up there swag surfing on this motherfucker, you know. So 0:57:28.000 --> 0:57:31.320 she introduced me to the underbelly of the sex world 0:57:31.360 --> 0:57:35.440 here in Atlanta, and I became a sensual and tantric 0:57:35.560 --> 0:57:39.480 masseuse for five years. So I always tell people that 0:57:40.520 --> 0:57:43.160 it's you know, we can't judge how spirit works, but 0:57:44.000 --> 0:57:47.640 God gave me my eat pray love moment for five 0:57:47.760 --> 0:57:53.800 years to figure out myself and sustain myself being in 0:57:53.840 --> 0:57:58.000 the adult industry. And that is where Spirit began to 0:57:58.040 --> 0:58:01.000 communicate with me. And I always tell people we cannot 0:58:01.120 --> 0:58:03.520 judge people, because yes, God sometimes comes to people in 0:58:03.600 --> 0:58:05.800 the trap, comes into the strip club. 0:58:05.880 --> 0:58:06.760 And so. 0:58:08.280 --> 0:58:11.120 For whilst doing that, because I had been a woman, 0:58:11.200 --> 0:58:13.480 you know, like many women like, didn't know my worth 0:58:13.760 --> 0:58:16.959 was in these streets anyway, fucking up with dumb people. 0:58:17.000 --> 0:58:19.200 And it was like, I was so grateful because the 0:58:19.240 --> 0:58:21.160 women that actually got me into they taught me to 0:58:21.160 --> 0:58:23.680 do it from a very professional standpoint, business. 0:58:23.320 --> 0:58:26.880 Standpoint, and just you know, advocating for myself in boundaries. 0:58:26.920 --> 0:58:31.400 And so I slowly started spiritually awakening and I actually 0:58:31.440 --> 0:58:33.360 got married in that time too. I got married. I 0:58:33.400 --> 0:58:36.360 did like a ninety day fiance type situation. He was Nigerian. 0:58:36.840 --> 0:58:38.840 You know, he was a scammer. I was like, wait, 0:58:38.840 --> 0:58:40.880 a Nigerian man was a cool with your career? 0:58:40.920 --> 0:58:41.400 Because I was. 0:58:41.760 --> 0:58:45.000 He was actually you know, so he was a scammerka. 0:58:46.000 --> 0:58:46.720 He was so sinning. 0:58:47.480 --> 0:58:49.800 We were very transparent with each other. He's like, I'm 0:58:49.800 --> 0:58:51.920 in this point of life and I'm scamming. I'm like, well, 0:58:51.920 --> 0:58:53.920 I'm in this point of life and I'm scheming. So 0:58:53.960 --> 0:58:57.560 then do some scheme, baby, So do the scheme and 0:58:57.640 --> 0:58:59.520 so our you know, our plan was to do what 0:58:59.560 --> 0:59:02.640 we need. I get him over here, we start our life. 0:59:02.720 --> 0:59:04.320 And well, you literally met him while he was still 0:59:04.320 --> 0:59:05.040 in Nigeria. 0:59:05.080 --> 0:59:07.880 So my homegirl that Ronnie Players club me was talking 0:59:07.920 --> 0:59:10.480 to his homeboy. He was like, oh he got a friend, 0:59:11.000 --> 0:59:14.240 and then yeah, OK. So then I was. I was 0:59:14.240 --> 0:59:17.280 in Nigeria and married him, came back and we were 0:59:17.320 --> 0:59:19.880 like working on getting him over here. And he was 0:59:19.920 --> 0:59:23.240 actually very spiritual. So I can admit. I tell people 0:59:23.280 --> 0:59:25.480 I was a toxic one in the relationship. So I 0:59:25.600 --> 0:59:27.720 was toxic. He helped spiritually awaken me. 0:59:28.600 --> 0:59:32.720 A long story short. 0:59:31.440 --> 0:59:35.560 During that time, I did something that I never thought 0:59:35.560 --> 0:59:38.280 I would do. But I cheated on him. I never 0:59:38.520 --> 0:59:40.880 I've never cheated in my life until I got married, 0:59:41.720 --> 0:59:47.720 and it was with a client and I snubbed my 0:59:47.880 --> 0:59:50.440 nose at bitches that we like, would fuck client. I 0:59:50.520 --> 0:59:53.080 was like, yeah, my life, would I do that? And 0:59:53.920 --> 0:59:57.960 I tell people it was spiritual. I met a guy 0:59:59.000 --> 1:00:01.880 in there and I was like, if he comes back, 1:00:01.920 --> 1:00:06.840 I'm a fucking like not my type. And what it 1:00:06.920 --> 1:00:09.760 was was it was this really sexual affair that reminded 1:00:09.840 --> 1:00:12.280 me of the parts of myself that I had been repressing. 1:00:12.280 --> 1:00:14.040 Although I was a sex worker, there was parts of 1:00:14.080 --> 1:00:16.640 myself that wanted to be the track, which I tell 1:00:16.680 --> 1:00:19.960 people all the time that guy ignited the track, which 1:00:20.040 --> 1:00:22.800 that affair ignited the track, which because I was still 1:00:22.800 --> 1:00:25.240 settling in that relationship with my husband, because there were 1:00:25.280 --> 1:00:27.280 so many parts of myself that he was not going 1:00:27.360 --> 1:00:30.200 to be able to tolerate as my husband, the person 1:00:30.200 --> 1:00:34.160 that I'm sitting here right now being vocal out front, 1:00:34.240 --> 1:00:37.000 like he would not be able to hang as my husband. 1:00:37.720 --> 1:00:41.280 And so I had that affair and we just started 1:00:41.280 --> 1:00:43.720 falling apart. I remember one day I like messaged him, 1:00:43.760 --> 1:00:45.520 I was like, you think you a good husband? He's 1:00:45.520 --> 1:00:46.960 like you think you a good wife, and I'm like, 1:00:47.240 --> 1:00:51.560 fuck you, You're done, And he ghosted me right before 1:00:51.600 --> 1:00:54.000 we got like the visa interview. I was like, you 1:00:54.120 --> 1:00:58.200 finna go. He's like crickets. So in that time where 1:00:58.200 --> 1:01:00.680 I was like, God, like, if this is my husband, 1:01:00.800 --> 1:01:03.520 let me know, They're like, it's not your husband. And 1:01:03.600 --> 1:01:08.960 so during that time, Spirits starts sending not only him 1:01:09.000 --> 1:01:12.520 as a messenger to activate me, Spirits starts sending people 1:01:12.560 --> 1:01:16.200 in Santaia. I'm actually a practitioner practitioner Santoria. I'm initiated 1:01:16.800 --> 1:01:19.640 sending all these spiritual people to like activate me. But 1:01:19.760 --> 1:01:22.560 the problem was for me, and going back to Buffy 1:01:22.560 --> 1:01:24.880 if you're familiar with the story of Buffy, like I 1:01:25.040 --> 1:01:28.080 was really out here and trying just my best city 1:01:28.080 --> 1:01:30.720 girl life. I was like, I want to go shopping, 1:01:31.000 --> 1:01:32.760 I want to do basic bit shit, I want to 1:01:32.760 --> 1:01:35.440 go to club, and they kept sending these spiritual people 1:01:35.520 --> 1:01:38.240 like I'm like, I don't want to do that. So 1:01:38.520 --> 1:01:41.040 for you know, when they say people are like truly called, 1:01:41.280 --> 1:01:43.880 like when you talk about the like people that are 1:01:43.880 --> 1:01:45.640 in the Bible, that is like they was out here 1:01:45.760 --> 1:01:48.080 murdering folks and God's like, come let me use you. 1:01:48.680 --> 1:01:51.480 And it was wild to me because I started getting 1:01:51.520 --> 1:01:54.280 these downloads like you need to start going to talk 1:01:54.320 --> 1:01:58.360 to people and empowering that I thought I was going crazy. 1:01:58.440 --> 1:02:02.080 And so during the sex work. During the sex work, 1:02:02.760 --> 1:02:03.560 the best. 1:02:03.280 --> 1:02:06.000 Part that kept me in for the longest time was 1:02:06.080 --> 1:02:10.120 the psychology aspect of it. I really treated these men 1:02:10.160 --> 1:02:12.520 like they were human beings, you know, like they weren't 1:02:12.560 --> 1:02:15.280 cash cows. And I was like, you know, what are 1:02:15.320 --> 1:02:18.120 you here for. You're either here because you're lonely neglected 1:02:18.240 --> 1:02:19.880 or you want to have your cake and eat it too. 1:02:20.520 --> 1:02:24.000 And I was able to maintain this business because I 1:02:24.120 --> 1:02:27.480 was really personal with them. But I really liked the 1:02:27.480 --> 1:02:32.600 psychological aspect. So when I knew I was going to 1:02:32.640 --> 1:02:34.919 get out, I knew I was going to get into 1:02:34.920 --> 1:02:37.040 this work. I knew that I was going to be 1:02:38.800 --> 1:02:41.280 vocal about being a sex worker because I was either 1:02:41.280 --> 1:02:43.600 going to help people that were in it were trying 1:02:43.600 --> 1:02:48.040 to leave, or bridging the intersectionality of spirituality and sex work. 1:02:48.120 --> 1:02:50.320 So that's how I got into it. 1:02:50.920 --> 1:02:52.600 I have a question because I think a lot of 1:02:52.840 --> 1:02:56.360 listeners and you know, don't necessarily always know what the 1:02:57.520 --> 1:03:00.439 I guess the nuances of sex work is yeah, and 1:03:00.520 --> 1:03:03.040 what that always means like because. 1:03:02.760 --> 1:03:04.880 You know, I don't think you so pussy. 1:03:04.960 --> 1:03:07.760 Yes, they think like, okay, so you are giving massages, 1:03:07.800 --> 1:03:09.680 are you actually having sex with your clients? Like some 1:03:10.240 --> 1:03:13.160 people like, for example, like we have a friend, mistress Marley, like, 1:03:13.200 --> 1:03:15.120 she doesn't have sex with her clients. She's a sex worker, 1:03:15.120 --> 1:03:16.640 she's dominator service. 1:03:16.360 --> 1:03:20.480 Girl, and you cheated with your husband. 1:03:20.560 --> 1:03:22.720 And I was like, I know what it is, but 1:03:23.120 --> 1:03:24.840 and that was just something I wanted. 1:03:24.520 --> 1:03:28.520 To do, right, But I wanted you to explain that 1:03:28.520 --> 1:03:30.040 to because I think a lot of people have that 1:03:30.080 --> 1:03:33.040 assumption like, oh, well, you say your friend was going crazy, 1:03:33.200 --> 1:03:35.520 what would you say serving the client? 1:03:35.840 --> 1:03:39.240 She was giving what we call a body to body massage, 1:03:39.360 --> 1:03:43.400 So what is that? So she's oiled herself up and essentially, 1:03:43.440 --> 1:03:45.320 you know, get on top of the person he was 1:03:45.360 --> 1:03:48.080 face down, you know, use her breast. 1:03:47.880 --> 1:03:50.080 And use her legs and use her body just to 1:03:50.120 --> 1:03:51.000 stimulate him. 1:03:51.480 --> 1:03:54.280 So but I just remember the first time I saw her, dude, 1:03:54.280 --> 1:03:56.000 I was like, you look like such a fucking goddess 1:03:56.080 --> 1:03:59.240 up there, Like it was just so powerful to witness her. So, yeah, 1:03:59.560 --> 1:04:04.320 I did did massages. I was not full service. Yes 1:04:04.360 --> 1:04:06.480 they did get happy endings, but I did not have 1:04:06.520 --> 1:04:08.760 sex with them in order to give them that. But yes, 1:04:08.800 --> 1:04:10.959 you're correct, Like so many people don't realize that sex 1:04:11.000 --> 1:04:14.320 work is, you know, from yes, escorting to dancing to 1:04:14.480 --> 1:04:18.480 cam work to BDSM all these things. So there's there's different. 1:04:18.200 --> 1:04:23.920 Types of hoes that all don't require actual like penetration, yeah, penetration. 1:04:24.040 --> 1:04:25.040 Yeah. 1:04:25.720 --> 1:04:28.760 So then going back to how spirituality and your sex 1:04:28.800 --> 1:04:33.240 work started to intersect, like and we were talking off 1:04:33.280 --> 1:04:36.080 camera and I heard you saying basically that you've kind 1:04:36.120 --> 1:04:39.760 of not been dissuayed from spirituality or like the hoop 1:04:39.840 --> 1:04:42.840 lo of what it is to be a spiritual healer, 1:04:43.280 --> 1:04:44.560 because it is a bit. 1:04:45.920 --> 1:04:47.440 Vanilla, It is a bit u. 1:04:48.360 --> 1:04:50.560 A little a little too woo woo, a little maybe 1:04:50.600 --> 1:04:54.360 like not sex positive, yes, in spaces because of you know, 1:04:54.920 --> 1:04:56.360 I think some of that has to do with the 1:04:56.400 --> 1:04:59.760 perpetuation of like the patriarchy in our healing space and 1:04:59.880 --> 1:05:03.280 I as a spiritual woman, and that you cannot be 1:05:03.360 --> 1:05:05.960 a sex worker and also be healing people like you 1:05:06.040 --> 1:05:09.720 must be unhealed if you are capable of working in 1:05:09.760 --> 1:05:13.800 that space is usually the I think the perception. So 1:05:13.840 --> 1:05:17.240 how do you how has like bridging these two things? 1:05:18.880 --> 1:05:21.040 What have been the challenges and like what is I 1:05:21.080 --> 1:05:23.080 guess the ultimate goal when it comes to bridging these 1:05:23.080 --> 1:05:23.600 two things. 1:05:24.120 --> 1:05:27.200 One of the biggest challenges I had off the rip. 1:05:27.320 --> 1:05:30.040 So in twenty seventeen, when I left sex work and 1:05:30.080 --> 1:05:33.560 got into this work, it was a lot more taboo 1:05:33.720 --> 1:05:36.440 for women like me to be in the spiritual arena 1:05:36.560 --> 1:05:40.080 and saying I was a sex worker and be validated 1:05:40.120 --> 1:05:43.240 to be worthy to be in this work. So now 1:05:43.320 --> 1:05:47.000 we've had an explosion of sexuality coaches and sexuality coaches, 1:05:47.000 --> 1:05:50.160 but like when I broke in, that was just not 1:05:50.240 --> 1:05:53.040 as popular still, and so I had to really prove 1:05:53.160 --> 1:05:56.760 myself as a worthy candidate to be in leadership. So 1:05:56.800 --> 1:05:58.440 I had to kind of like shut my hoe down 1:05:58.480 --> 1:06:00.640 a little bit. So I told people like there was 1:06:00.720 --> 1:06:02.360 levels where it was like the hole, the matter, and 1:06:02.400 --> 1:06:06.240 the high process. So I had to really really push 1:06:06.360 --> 1:06:09.120 to prove to my audience to the community that like, 1:06:09.240 --> 1:06:12.760 I'm the fucking high precess bitch. And now as I've 1:06:12.800 --> 1:06:15.600 reintegrated that I've been allowed to bring my home back 1:06:15.640 --> 1:06:18.920 out a bit more, you know, like bring my maiden energy. 1:06:19.600 --> 1:06:22.840 My issue is and I think a lot of people's 1:06:22.880 --> 1:06:24.440 issue is is, like you said, with so much of 1:06:24.440 --> 1:06:26.560 the woogle, Like I tell people like I'm not really woogle, 1:06:26.560 --> 1:06:29.280 but I'm Wu Tang clan, like if I want to 1:06:29.320 --> 1:06:32.000 start a spiritual like like yeah, we the Wu Tang clan, 1:06:32.200 --> 1:06:34.320 like like I'm the healer with the tims on. 1:06:34.320 --> 1:06:36.800 It like like it. 1:06:36.840 --> 1:06:42.120 And because representation matters, you know, I don't really believe 1:06:42.200 --> 1:06:44.840 in having to code switch all the time to prove 1:06:44.920 --> 1:06:49.120 my fucking intelligence. It's like I don't want to call 1:06:49.160 --> 1:06:51.480 my shit a yoni Like I cringe. I was like, 1:06:51.520 --> 1:06:54.360 this is my fucking pussy, Like why can't just say pussy? 1:06:54.400 --> 1:06:57.160 And you take me seriously And that's why I feel 1:06:57.200 --> 1:07:00.520 like people like me and other people like you guys, 1:07:00.520 --> 1:07:03.400 like we are bringing this intersexuality of being Like I 1:07:03.440 --> 1:07:06.600 don't have to vanilla myself. I don't have to code switch. 1:07:06.640 --> 1:07:08.920 This is my authenticity. And I realize, like I'm a 1:07:09.000 --> 1:07:12.680 very hedonistic person. I'm very much in my human and 1:07:12.720 --> 1:07:16.320 I think when people get on their spiritual journey, they 1:07:16.320 --> 1:07:19.160 think that they have to prove to people that they're 1:07:19.200 --> 1:07:23.000 spiritual by like repressing that energy. What is really who 1:07:23.040 --> 1:07:25.640 you are? I'm like, I'm a bit of a hedonistic 1:07:25.680 --> 1:07:29.920 ass bitch, like I don't want to have to sacrifice 1:07:30.000 --> 1:07:32.840 certain parts of myself and my duality in order to 1:07:32.880 --> 1:07:35.360 prove that I'm spiritual. So I think with again the 1:07:35.400 --> 1:07:40.520 sexuality as aspect part, Like, there's so much people want 1:07:40.600 --> 1:07:46.720 to mask, mask it, like I said, with more socially 1:07:46.800 --> 1:07:51.200 presentable language or whatever. And I know how to do that, 1:07:51.280 --> 1:07:54.440 Like I could teach anybody how to embrace their sexuality 1:07:54.520 --> 1:07:58.600 without showing my skin or even talking like that. But yes, 1:07:58.640 --> 1:08:00.560 we have to understand. So when we were talking about 1:08:00.560 --> 1:08:03.400 like pop your throat plusy earlier, I was telling you know, 1:08:03.400 --> 1:08:06.800 I tell people like your throat resembles the inside of 1:08:06.800 --> 1:08:09.720 our vagina, and so your throat is the second thing 1:08:09.720 --> 1:08:13.680 that gives birth, and you're constantly giving birth. So whenever 1:08:13.720 --> 1:08:17.559 you're casting spells over your life, you're giving birth to 1:08:17.600 --> 1:08:20.680 what you want in your world. So that's sexuality. You know, 1:08:20.880 --> 1:08:24.160 Sacral energy is not only just like how you use 1:08:24.200 --> 1:08:28.000 your vagina, it's also how you're able to manifest create, 1:08:28.439 --> 1:08:30.680 You create, you know, solar plex and shock with the 1:08:30.720 --> 1:08:33.680 relationship with yourself and your power in this world. So 1:08:33.760 --> 1:08:37.640 I can teach everybody on those levels but again I 1:08:37.680 --> 1:08:39.559 tell people like, if you could sell sex, you could 1:08:39.560 --> 1:08:42.040 sell anything. You sell drugs, you sell anything. There's a 1:08:42.040 --> 1:08:46.200 lot of women that are in the sex industry that 1:08:46.240 --> 1:08:49.080 could teach bitches about manifestation. This is why I advocate 1:08:49.120 --> 1:08:50.720 for Cardi B. I was like, you want to talk 1:08:50.760 --> 1:08:52.800 about a bitch that can teach you about manifestation? Is 1:08:52.840 --> 1:08:53.200 Cardi B? 1:08:53.360 --> 1:08:55.160 Well you know what I was watching one of a 1:08:55.160 --> 1:08:57.840 clip that you had, and you're saying, Cardi B is 1:08:57.840 --> 1:08:58.799 your spiritual gurgul? 1:08:59.040 --> 1:08:59.240 Yeah? 1:08:59.479 --> 1:09:02.240 Well, you know why I tell people she was when 1:09:02.320 --> 1:09:04.840 I was wanting to leave sex work. Was when she 1:09:05.080 --> 1:09:07.840 was leaving, I would be sitting there and I would 1:09:07.840 --> 1:09:10.920 watch her just talk over her life about what she 1:09:11.080 --> 1:09:12.920 was gonna do and how she was gonna do it. 1:09:13.160 --> 1:09:17.800 And I also really admired her throat piece and her authenticity. 1:09:17.840 --> 1:09:19.719 And she just was like, I don't have to prove 1:09:19.760 --> 1:09:22.360 to y'all that it has to look this way for 1:09:22.439 --> 1:09:25.280 me to be intelligent a sport. So I started doing 1:09:25.280 --> 1:09:28.519 the same thing. I started uploading my videos from you know, 1:09:28.640 --> 1:09:30.720 I'm doing my work, and then I'm like, Okay, we're 1:09:30.720 --> 1:09:33.880 gonna teach people about empowerment in between seeing tricks and Johns, 1:09:35.320 --> 1:09:37.519 and that's what I started building the track, which while 1:09:37.560 --> 1:09:40.120 I was still a sex worker. But yeah, Cardibi could 1:09:40.120 --> 1:09:43.160 teach you a lot about manifestation. What I mean, some 1:09:43.240 --> 1:09:47.000 people prefer Joe Despenza because it's just what's socially acceptable 1:09:47.000 --> 1:09:50.559 to them, But the same shit that Carti B does 1:09:50.720 --> 1:09:55.600 Joe spends us two. At times. People are often comfortable 1:09:55.600 --> 1:09:57.920 with the representations that they're comfortable with, but they could 1:09:57.920 --> 1:10:01.120 also learn something from a bit that's different thing in them. 1:10:01.520 --> 1:10:02.040 I agree. 1:10:02.080 --> 1:10:03.800 I never really looked at it like that, and I 1:10:03.840 --> 1:10:07.000 think Cardi B Is actually a really good example. 1:10:06.720 --> 1:10:07.719 That bitch can masage. 1:10:08.920 --> 1:10:11.200 Obviously, shit, yeah she's killing it. 1:10:11.400 --> 1:10:12.599 Yeah it's true. 1:10:12.640 --> 1:10:15.240 And she didn't have no problem saying exactly what the 1:10:15.280 --> 1:10:16.760 fuck she was about to do and who she was 1:10:16.800 --> 1:10:18.679 gonna be. And I'm gonna be a rapper bitch. Yeah 1:10:18.680 --> 1:10:20.040 I was a stripper. I was popping pussy, but I 1:10:20.080 --> 1:10:21.760 don't give a fuck and this is who I am now. 1:10:21.920 --> 1:10:26.840 And in healing and spirituality, representation matters because a lot 1:10:27.560 --> 1:10:30.240 of what we've been presented is not helping people. 1:10:31.360 --> 1:10:31.559 You know. 1:10:31.800 --> 1:10:34.559 I watched her Breakfast Club interview the other day and 1:10:34.720 --> 1:10:38.120 they asked her. They said, you know, female wrap has 1:10:38.120 --> 1:10:41.519 become oversaturated right now, Like, first of all, how do 1:10:41.560 --> 1:10:43.880 you feel about that? And does it threaten you? 1:10:43.920 --> 1:10:46.000 She said no, because I knew it was gonna happen 1:10:46.040 --> 1:10:46.760 after I got in. 1:10:46.920 --> 1:10:49.160 She goes, when I got in, I proved that if 1:10:49.200 --> 1:10:51.160 I could do it, someone else could do it. So 1:10:51.280 --> 1:10:53.600 I opened the door and she goes, no, I'm not 1:10:53.640 --> 1:10:55.719 threaten because I know my lane, I know my space, 1:10:56.479 --> 1:10:59.799 I know my authenticity. So I mean that in itself, 1:11:00.240 --> 1:11:05.400 literally a five minute sermon that she could teach somebody with. 1:11:05.479 --> 1:11:08.160 But again, people look for spirituality just to be presented 1:11:08.160 --> 1:11:10.080 in a certain way when people are giving you the lesson. 1:11:10.439 --> 1:11:12.640 Well, I think it's so funny when people say that, 1:11:12.840 --> 1:11:16.679 like industries are oversaturated, especially if it's like an industry 1:11:16.760 --> 1:11:21.439 that is been there's been I guess, a decline on 1:11:21.479 --> 1:11:24.120 how many women have been involved. How could it be oversacked? 1:11:24.120 --> 1:11:25.479 First of all, there used to be like, no, not 1:11:25.520 --> 1:11:27.880 a lot of female rappers. Now there's too many. Now 1:11:27.880 --> 1:11:29.960 they're all talking about pop pussy and now everyone's mad, 1:11:30.360 --> 1:11:33.760 and now it's oversaturated, And I'm like, how can there 1:11:33.800 --> 1:11:38.040 be an oversaturation of the industry? It's just women are 1:11:38.080 --> 1:11:40.240 stepping into the space, and she's right, she did open 1:11:40.240 --> 1:11:40.639 the door. 1:11:40.920 --> 1:11:41.960 Now is the quality of music. 1:11:42.000 --> 1:11:43.960 I mean, we can argue, we can argue the ethos 1:11:43.960 --> 1:11:45.840 of what people are talking about all day long, whether 1:11:45.880 --> 1:11:50.439 it's perpetuating patriarchy or advancing you know, allowing women to 1:11:50.479 --> 1:11:52.360 move forward. But at the end of the day, I 1:11:52.400 --> 1:11:56.080 feel like that's not a conversation we hear men have like, oh, 1:11:56.080 --> 1:12:01.320 it's oversaturated. With saturated always a space that's that's been 1:12:01.360 --> 1:12:05.240 generally like you know, there's been like a minority of 1:12:05.880 --> 1:12:09.280 really femininity in it, and then there's too much femininity 1:12:09.320 --> 1:12:10.520 and now it's oversaturated. 1:12:10.520 --> 1:12:14.639 We're doing too much. It's so interesting, So. 1:12:15.479 --> 1:12:21.600 Just curious too, like how has your journey into the 1:12:21.640 --> 1:12:26.120 spiritual space and now kind of transitioning more into the 1:12:26.200 --> 1:12:32.720 mindset coaching and just allowing I guess giving women the 1:12:32.760 --> 1:12:37.080 ability to tap into their throat chakra and all these things. 1:12:36.800 --> 1:12:40.439 I was reading an article that you were being interviewed 1:12:40.439 --> 1:12:42.400 and it's as a kid you were called like. 1:12:42.880 --> 1:12:44.400 Was it called the mouth champion or something? 1:12:44.800 --> 1:12:50.559 Yes, So like you've never really had a you've never 1:12:50.600 --> 1:12:52.960 really had a problem really exercising your. 1:12:53.040 --> 1:12:56.360 Your throats or you kind of were shamed by it 1:12:56.400 --> 1:13:00.240 and kind of like so up until about six, they 1:13:00.240 --> 1:13:03.639 would call me mouth champion because I was very vocal 1:13:03.880 --> 1:13:07.120 and I was always intuitive. I knew how to intuit 1:13:07.280 --> 1:13:10.880 energy because I could recognize when adults were talking to 1:13:10.920 --> 1:13:14.200 me crazy, and so I would advocate for myself, and 1:13:14.240 --> 1:13:17.280 then I got called disrespectful, and then I got shut down, 1:13:17.320 --> 1:13:19.439 and then it became this game for like my uncle 1:13:19.479 --> 1:13:21.519 and my grandfather to like pay me to shut up. 1:13:22.280 --> 1:13:24.559 So they'd played this game where they'd be like, oh, 1:13:24.640 --> 1:13:26.799 you get fifty dollars if you starved for four hours. 1:13:26.800 --> 1:13:29.320 He was like, well, shit, I want fifty dollars. It 1:13:29.400 --> 1:13:32.320 became this game to shut down my gifts. And then 1:13:32.400 --> 1:13:36.000 the board that I read the room or I read 1:13:36.000 --> 1:13:38.879 the energy, I would get in trouble. And that's always 1:13:38.920 --> 1:13:42.559 been an issue even up until my awakening, where like 1:13:42.600 --> 1:13:44.519 even in my friendships, like if I could read the 1:13:44.640 --> 1:13:47.800 energy and I could call it out, I would get 1:13:47.840 --> 1:13:51.120 in trouble as you know, disrespectful whatever. So so yeah, 1:13:51.560 --> 1:13:54.960 it wasn't really until I got into sex work where 1:13:54.960 --> 1:13:57.800 I had to learn to be more personable because a 1:13:57.800 --> 1:13:59.479 lot of times when I did work with other girls 1:13:59.520 --> 1:14:01.160 they'd be like, man, how do you make the time 1:14:01.240 --> 1:14:03.519 go so quick? Like it's tortuous for me to be 1:14:03.600 --> 1:14:05.040 in there with them for an hour? I was like, 1:14:05.160 --> 1:14:07.840 I talked to them. 1:14:06.840 --> 1:14:10.120 So that really helped me reactivate my throat chakra. 1:14:10.760 --> 1:14:13.160 And then when I decided that I was really gonna 1:14:13.200 --> 1:14:16.559 take this to the next level, I like started going 1:14:16.640 --> 1:14:19.040 to like a bar and like, oh, you have to 1:14:19.040 --> 1:14:20.600 talk to the stranger if they sit next to you, 1:14:20.720 --> 1:14:22.840 or or you need to post a video and just 1:14:22.880 --> 1:14:25.920 get really comfortable. So I did not get this comfortable 1:14:26.040 --> 1:14:28.599 being this vocal really until twenty sixteen. 1:14:28.720 --> 1:14:33.720 Again hmm, yeah, but luckily you recognize that and you 1:14:33.760 --> 1:14:37.280 shifted and you like gave yourself homework in order to 1:14:37.360 --> 1:14:38.639 like undo that. 1:14:38.800 --> 1:14:42.040 And for a while, like I couldn't even do public 1:14:42.080 --> 1:14:45.040 speaking without crying, like the first five minutes because I 1:14:45.080 --> 1:14:47.559 told people like my heart in my throat was like 1:14:47.600 --> 1:14:49.559 coming back online, and I think it was like in 1:14:49.600 --> 1:14:52.160 such chakas like bitch you how you're fucking talking your shit? 1:14:52.840 --> 1:14:54.680 It was like yeah, So it had to even go 1:14:54.720 --> 1:14:56.479 through that clearing to get. 1:14:56.280 --> 1:15:02.000 To that point where like I was just really firm, and. 1:15:00.600 --> 1:15:02.640 That clearing that's like energetically. 1:15:02.680 --> 1:15:05.519 We forget that they're like our heart and our throat 1:15:05.560 --> 1:15:07.479 and our wounds and our throat and are like these 1:15:07.479 --> 1:15:09.320 things were all connected, and a lot of times if 1:15:09.320 --> 1:15:12.599 one is shut down, there requires like a realignment and. 1:15:12.560 --> 1:15:13.960 That causes a lot of disease. 1:15:14.120 --> 1:15:17.200 Yeah, physical We just talked about like energetic body governing 1:15:17.240 --> 1:15:20.280 the physical body, and it's true. And I remember like 1:15:20.320 --> 1:15:23.000 being a kid too, and I've always been very vocal 1:15:23.080 --> 1:15:25.320 and like being around other like my cousins and my 1:15:25.400 --> 1:15:27.240 parents would do some wild shit and I'd be like, 1:15:27.280 --> 1:15:29.640 what the fuck did you guys leave us here for 1:15:29.720 --> 1:15:32.240 three hours in the car, And then my cousins wouldn't 1:15:32.240 --> 1:15:33.680 say shit, And then my uncle would be like, you 1:15:33.720 --> 1:15:35.920 better shut her up, and he's like, she's right, we 1:15:35.960 --> 1:15:37.880 didn't leave them, you know what I mean. And I 1:15:37.920 --> 1:15:40.080 never understood why everyone else was shutting the fuck up, 1:15:40.080 --> 1:15:41.840 Like I don't care that I'm nine, What the fuck 1:15:41.920 --> 1:15:42.519 is your problem? 1:15:42.520 --> 1:15:44.040 Like I wasn't saying what the fuck is your problem? 1:15:44.040 --> 1:15:46.240 But I was like, yo, you know what I mean. 1:15:46.400 --> 1:15:48.439 But it's like, as children, we have to be careful too, 1:15:48.479 --> 1:15:51.080 even as moms, you know, as parents that are listening, 1:15:51.680 --> 1:15:53.800 you know, obviously kids get slick with their mouth, but 1:15:53.920 --> 1:15:56.000 not like doing the things our parents did to us, 1:15:56.040 --> 1:15:58.760 which is like shut up mind, grown folks. Business be 1:15:58.880 --> 1:16:00.479 you know what I mean, be quiet going. It's like 1:16:00.520 --> 1:16:02.400 sometimes even I have to remind myself like this is 1:16:02.439 --> 1:16:05.040 a kid. She's expressing herself, and if I shut her 1:16:05.120 --> 1:16:07.400 up too much or too soon, like this could damage 1:16:07.400 --> 1:16:09.280 her long term, especially as a little girl. 1:16:09.680 --> 1:16:10.840 But like, yeah, it's like to. 1:16:10.840 --> 1:16:14.960 Really like just being so aware of you know, where 1:16:14.960 --> 1:16:18.280 you're where you're not comfortable speaking your truth or you know, 1:16:18.360 --> 1:16:22.799 being vocal or you know, is can can definitely like uh, 1:16:23.280 --> 1:16:26.400 fuck up your creativity and you're like your sex, you know, 1:16:26.479 --> 1:16:29.760 like the the manifestation piece of like the alignment of 1:16:29.800 --> 1:16:31.439 all of yourself is super important. 1:16:31.680 --> 1:16:34.000 You would be so surprised, like how many women I 1:16:34.120 --> 1:16:36.280 meet where it's like you can fuck a man, but 1:16:36.360 --> 1:16:38.880 you can't talk to him. You shouldn't be fucking him 1:16:38.880 --> 1:16:39.840 and you can't talk to him. 1:16:40.120 --> 1:16:40.639 That was me. 1:16:41.040 --> 1:16:45.519 So many women have, you know, repressed voices, you know, 1:16:45.640 --> 1:16:47.400 and even going back to the limber and shit where 1:16:47.560 --> 1:16:49.600 you get a bitch coming and reading where she's like, 1:16:49.880 --> 1:16:52.160 oh my god, I'm so obsessed with him. Oh my God, Like, 1:16:52.360 --> 1:16:54.559 you know, he's been ghost for six months, is he 1:16:54.560 --> 1:16:55.840 still loved me? I was like, well, bitch, if you 1:16:55.840 --> 1:16:57.640 couldn't text him and asked him what the fuck was up, 1:16:57.640 --> 1:16:59.960 then you shouldn't have been with him anyway, you know. Again, 1:17:00.200 --> 1:17:03.400 Like so there's so much repressed repression or like. 1:17:03.400 --> 1:17:05.600 So much fear around being judged, and like, I have 1:17:05.640 --> 1:17:07.479 a friend like that, I'm like, bitch, you're fucking him, 1:17:07.560 --> 1:17:09.680 why can't you tell him how you feel? Isn't that 1:17:09.720 --> 1:17:11.360 weird to you that you're fucking someone and you can't 1:17:11.360 --> 1:17:12.040 express like that. 1:17:12.000 --> 1:17:12.759 You like them? 1:17:13.280 --> 1:17:15.040 There's that and also you don't want you don't want 1:17:15.040 --> 1:17:18.120 the answer. Yeah, there's a lot of just avoidance because 1:17:18.160 --> 1:17:19.280 you know you already. 1:17:18.920 --> 1:17:19.559 Know the answer. 1:17:20.080 --> 1:17:21.800 Most of the time, we know the answers. It's just 1:17:22.000 --> 1:17:24.280 we don't want the confirmation. We don't want to ask 1:17:24.360 --> 1:17:28.200 the question. And then you know, there also is just 1:17:28.439 --> 1:17:31.000 not being able to express. I mean there's been times 1:17:31.040 --> 1:17:33.480 too where I'm like, I know that I have questions, 1:17:33.520 --> 1:17:36.800 but I'll just wait and I'll wait, and. 1:17:36.800 --> 1:17:39.280 I'm like spirit will give me the answer. Like, no, bitch, 1:17:39.280 --> 1:17:41.439 if you would have just asked the question, you would 1:17:41.439 --> 1:17:42.280 have got the answer. 1:17:42.320 --> 1:17:42.880 A lot faster. 1:17:43.000 --> 1:17:44.960 Instead, you're still here six months later, and Spirit finally 1:17:45.000 --> 1:17:45.439 said something. 1:17:45.600 --> 1:17:46.800 If you just you don't want to feel like you're 1:17:47.000 --> 1:17:49.439 being too much, you're being too naggy. You're like, if 1:17:49.479 --> 1:17:50.960 I do this, he's gonna think I like him too much. 1:17:51.000 --> 1:17:51.920 Like bitch, you do well. 1:17:51.920 --> 1:17:54.080 Like even it's even like when you're when you're first 1:17:54.120 --> 1:17:56.200 starting to dating, you don't want to tell the person 1:17:56.240 --> 1:17:58.400 you're dating what your intentions are. You don't want to 1:17:58.400 --> 1:18:00.400 be too much, Hey, I'm not really here to just 1:18:00.439 --> 1:18:02.759 casually date. Be like, well, don't say that on the first. 1:18:02.680 --> 1:18:04.040 Day because you're scared away. 1:18:04.760 --> 1:18:08.559 And it's like, well, if you're not exercising that that 1:18:08.640 --> 1:18:11.040 throat pussy your need that, you're just gonna be throwing 1:18:11.080 --> 1:18:12.800 pussy and then you're gonna be mad. 1:18:14.160 --> 1:18:16.720 Speaking of exercising your throat pussy and not throwing the 1:18:16.720 --> 1:18:21.200 throat the regular pussy, I think for Patreon we should 1:18:22.080 --> 1:18:27.120 do an exclusive three Reasons three Ways to Free your 1:18:27.160 --> 1:18:30.240 throat pussy. So if you guys are Patreon members, you 1:18:30.280 --> 1:18:34.880 should go over there and see the three tips Tatiana 1:18:34.960 --> 1:18:36.640 is going to give us, because bitch just need to 1:18:36.640 --> 1:18:38.320 know how to exercise that throat pussy. 1:18:40.680 --> 1:18:45.320 Or in the vein of is you know Warrior Princess. 1:18:46.120 --> 1:18:49.080 Do you know it's funny recently? You know, there was 1:18:49.080 --> 1:18:51.600 that chick Callisto on there you move the blonde like 1:18:51.640 --> 1:18:54.240 a friend. I was like, what is she doing right now? 1:18:54.320 --> 1:18:57.160 You still love her? She's actually a spiritual teacher now 1:18:58.800 --> 1:19:01.879 in the Ashroms world. Yo, So I was like, see, 1:19:02.000 --> 1:19:04.600 we are totally aligned. I knew who the fuck I was. 1:19:04.640 --> 1:19:09.639 Where's sucking Zina? Lucy Lawless? Where is Lucy's chilling? Yeah, 1:19:09.680 --> 1:19:12.320 Pealisa's over there like in the Allstroan somewhere teaching people 1:19:12.320 --> 1:19:13.160 could leave yoga. 1:19:13.800 --> 1:19:16.240 I thought I was the only person who thinks randomly 1:19:16.600 --> 1:19:18.920 three o'clock in the afternoon, what the fuck happened to 1:19:18.920 --> 1:19:20.559 that bitch? I like twenty years ago? That was on 1:19:20.600 --> 1:19:22.599 TV and like they go that I'm quick to google. 1:19:22.680 --> 1:19:24.280 Oh my, I just looked at This is such a 1:19:24.360 --> 1:19:26.559 side note, but not really because we're talking about the darkness. 1:19:26.640 --> 1:19:28.799 But did you guys see that like super Famous wife 1:19:28.800 --> 1:19:31.880 swap where they like it's like a very hippie family 1:19:31.920 --> 1:19:33.160 and they go with like they switch with like a 1:19:33.240 --> 1:19:37.280 Christian family, and she's like, it's the darkness it's dark sooted, 1:19:37.800 --> 1:19:41.719 tarot cards and moons and stars, it's dark sooted. I've 1:19:41.720 --> 1:19:44.200 been made Shannie watch it recently because it was like 1:19:44.240 --> 1:19:46.160 the best fucking white swap they've ever had. 1:19:46.160 --> 1:19:46.960 Please go look it up. 1:19:47.600 --> 1:19:51.040 And she was like super anti anything not Christian, and 1:19:51.080 --> 1:19:53.360 now she's like huge with the gays. 1:19:55.000 --> 1:19:55.599 That's what I found. 1:19:56.080 --> 1:19:57.320 She looked it up and I was like, where is 1:19:57.360 --> 1:19:59.439 this woman now? And like the great the gates have 1:19:59.520 --> 1:20:01.880 embraced or so I'm like, see, like what happened? TV 1:20:01.960 --> 1:20:04.040 brought her back down? Okay, so the Christian woman who 1:20:04.120 --> 1:20:06.599 was talking about the darkness is now a huge icon 1:20:06.680 --> 1:20:09.519 with the gays. Have you seen that? 1:20:09.720 --> 1:20:12.040 No, I'm literally showing you in the ft. 1:20:12.080 --> 1:20:13.519 Well, maybe we'll add a link to the to the 1:20:13.520 --> 1:20:15.000 episode you can watch. 1:20:15.800 --> 1:20:20.840 It's literally it's necessary. It's so good. Oh you know 1:20:20.920 --> 1:20:21.360 what else? 1:20:21.400 --> 1:20:22.959 I don't know if you want to say this for Patreon, 1:20:23.240 --> 1:20:27.040 but you asked me to ask you a question, not 1:20:27.120 --> 1:20:31.679 like a reading, but like a message. So I asked 1:20:31.720 --> 1:20:35.200 her about our relationship and our business in the next year. 1:20:35.479 --> 1:20:38.240 Yes I did. Yeah, you guys have a lot of 1:20:38.280 --> 1:20:41.639 beautiful opportunities and doors opening for you, and you should 1:20:41.640 --> 1:20:43.839 definitely take them, especially the ones that are in alignment 1:20:43.880 --> 1:20:47.479 with your gifts. I think with all women that I 1:20:47.520 --> 1:20:51.160 tell they have gifts, you want to be really conscious 1:20:51.320 --> 1:20:53.800 of what you want to put into the world, you know. 1:20:53.880 --> 1:20:56.200 I think when we talk about like solar plexus energy, 1:20:56.200 --> 1:20:58.040 it's like, how do you want to execute your power 1:20:58.080 --> 1:21:00.519 in the world. It's like the footprint that you're leaving 1:21:00.520 --> 1:21:02.400 in the world. Like I think the best way to 1:21:02.439 --> 1:21:04.360 look at it is like if you had if you 1:21:04.400 --> 1:21:07.400 died tomorrow and your obituary came out, like what would 1:21:07.400 --> 1:21:07.800 it say? 1:21:07.840 --> 1:21:10.040 Like your what would your program say? 1:21:10.080 --> 1:21:14.600 And I think that the next year for you guys individually, 1:21:14.800 --> 1:21:17.760 you should get really adamant about what you're putting out 1:21:17.760 --> 1:21:19.400 there and who you want to be and how you 1:21:19.400 --> 1:21:22.840 want to be remembered, but also together as well. So 1:21:23.360 --> 1:21:25.439 it really it was interesting because what I got was like, 1:21:25.479 --> 1:21:27.160 but some door I was about to fuck it open. 1:21:27.520 --> 1:21:29.639 Y'all need to walk through them. But just get really 1:21:29.680 --> 1:21:33.240 adamant about what's in alignment for what's important for you. 1:21:33.800 --> 1:21:36.160 Because I tell there's so many women right. 1:21:36.000 --> 1:21:39.320 Now coming into their positions of leadership and adding like 1:21:39.520 --> 1:21:43.080 their good juju and their glitter of magic into the world. 1:21:43.720 --> 1:21:47.040 And that's a beautiful thing because for a lot of us, 1:21:47.880 --> 1:21:50.960 our grandmas, our aunties, our moms didn't get to do that. 1:21:51.400 --> 1:21:53.439 You know, a lot of them activated us to be 1:21:53.439 --> 1:21:55.120 able to do this. We have never been in a 1:21:55.240 --> 1:21:58.120 time whereas women we've had so much privilege, especially as 1:21:58.160 --> 1:21:59.800 women in the West. And I always tell people this too, 1:21:59.800 --> 1:22:02.920 it's as women in the West, we can't downplay what 1:22:02.960 --> 1:22:05.080 we're doing because there's our sisters, like on the other 1:22:05.120 --> 1:22:06.439 side of the world that still don't have some of 1:22:06.520 --> 1:22:09.559 these privileges. So we don't know what we're doing that's 1:22:09.640 --> 1:22:12.679 potentially helping them and then helping you know, your daughters 1:22:12.760 --> 1:22:16.360 and the women coming behind us. So with the Internet, 1:22:16.560 --> 1:22:19.880 like life happens like this. You guys started this podcast 1:22:20.000 --> 1:22:22.719 five years ago, and I'm sure it's like I tell people, 1:22:23.000 --> 1:22:25.559 it's not just the fucking Internet. The Internet is what 1:22:25.640 --> 1:22:30.280 you make it and tomorrow, like literally, you have access 1:22:30.320 --> 1:22:32.160 to the world. The world has access to you. You 1:22:32.160 --> 1:22:34.200 can hop on a plane and get to these places. 1:22:34.240 --> 1:22:36.479 So ask yourself, really, what you guys are doing with 1:22:36.560 --> 1:22:39.479 people having accessibility to you and what you want to 1:22:39.520 --> 1:22:42.880 do in reverse as well. So, yeah, it wasn't really 1:22:42.920 --> 1:22:45.559 anything beside this, Walk through them doors and just get 1:22:45.600 --> 1:22:48.040 really fine tuned about what you guys are putting out 1:22:48.240 --> 1:22:51.760 and how you really want to change the environment and 1:22:51.800 --> 1:22:54.760 the climate for especially women. You know, all of us 1:22:54.840 --> 1:22:57.920 are feminine liberators. I just identify as a feminine liberator, 1:22:57.920 --> 1:23:01.400 but all of us are feminine liberators and what I love. 1:23:02.560 --> 1:23:04.160 And I feel like this was so aligned at this 1:23:04.240 --> 1:23:07.040 time because although I don't have biological children, bitch, I'm 1:23:07.040 --> 1:23:10.240 a mother. I'm a mother, and I've been a matriarchal 1:23:10.280 --> 1:23:12.599 figure now for seven years in this community. It's like 1:23:12.960 --> 1:23:15.920 we're mothering other people's children. You don't know how many 1:23:15.960 --> 1:23:19.840 women are watching this that weren't given these lessons by 1:23:19.920 --> 1:23:24.720 their moms, And we are like mothering the children of 1:23:24.760 --> 1:23:28.000 other women. And so we're helping women develop into who 1:23:28.040 --> 1:23:30.200 they were always meant to be. And so that's just 1:23:30.280 --> 1:23:33.680 a powerful thing right now in that sisterhood in the 1:23:33.680 --> 1:23:36.599 community of women. So pretty much is just like keep 1:23:36.680 --> 1:23:37.760 doing what you're doing. 1:23:38.439 --> 1:23:39.360 Walk through the doors. 1:23:39.479 --> 1:23:42.240 I think also the message I'm hearing from you too 1:23:42.360 --> 1:23:45.559 is just really be get clear, get clearer, get clearer 1:23:45.600 --> 1:23:47.880 on what is the what is going to be on 1:23:47.880 --> 1:23:48.960 that obituary. 1:23:49.320 --> 1:23:51.400 Yeah, what is the message? What are you leaving here? 1:23:52.120 --> 1:23:52.639 What is it? 1:23:53.040 --> 1:23:55.080 I think that's in alignment. We've been talking about that 1:23:55.120 --> 1:23:57.080 a lot lately. You know, like five years goes by 1:23:57.200 --> 1:23:59.360 like pretty quickly. I mean it's been a long like 1:23:59.439 --> 1:24:02.559 you know, long working season. But I think we've also 1:24:02.680 --> 1:24:05.120 been like, what the fuck is our goal? You know, 1:24:05.200 --> 1:24:07.040 what is it that. I think when we started, we 1:24:07.040 --> 1:24:09.840 weren't this. It wasn't I mean, it wasn't really all 1:24:09.920 --> 1:24:12.439 we thought through. We just needed a friend, and then 1:24:12.439 --> 1:24:14.600 it kind of began to develop and evolve and we 1:24:14.680 --> 1:24:15.920 realized how important it was. 1:24:16.400 --> 1:24:18.439 You you guys needed a friend. Yeah, that's how my 1:24:18.479 --> 1:24:21.559 business started to where it was like who do I 1:24:21.680 --> 1:24:24.599 talk to about this? And then just using the internet 1:24:24.600 --> 1:24:26.800 as like your diary to be like listen, I got 1:24:26.840 --> 1:24:30.679 fucking like, hell. 1:24:31.160 --> 1:24:32.480 I to tell you something? 1:24:33.200 --> 1:24:40.320 Yes, yeah, I'm confused, bitches, you know, perfect, come over, 1:24:41.040 --> 1:24:41.599 come over here. 1:24:41.680 --> 1:24:43.439 We can all be confused and figure it out together. 1:24:43.600 --> 1:24:44.200 Absolutely. 1:24:44.680 --> 1:24:46.479 But yeah, I think we've been like just trying to 1:24:46.479 --> 1:24:49.719 be really clear or get clearer about our goals and 1:24:49.760 --> 1:24:52.200 like what our purposes. And I think it's it's developed 1:24:52.240 --> 1:24:55.439 and evolved as we get to meet amazing humans like you. 1:24:55.560 --> 1:24:58.240 We get like, I feel so blessed honestly to just 1:24:58.320 --> 1:25:01.440 like the mentors and the peace people, like the conversations 1:25:01.560 --> 1:25:03.479 we get to have because we are we're in the 1:25:03.520 --> 1:25:05.559 school of life, like we're in the which school that 1:25:05.600 --> 1:25:08.200 we've fucking created the curriculum we. 1:25:09.120 --> 1:25:10.000 Were at Hogwarts. 1:25:10.240 --> 1:25:12.240 And I get to get lectures by the people that 1:25:12.280 --> 1:25:14.720 I admire and that I see messages that resonate with me, 1:25:14.760 --> 1:25:15.200 and I get. 1:25:15.120 --> 1:25:16.640 To literally like, hey, girl, can you come up? 1:25:17.120 --> 1:25:19.360 You know what I mean without really having to have 1:25:19.479 --> 1:25:22.639 a like a relationship with them except from the Internet. 1:25:22.720 --> 1:25:23.639 It's not weird at all. 1:25:23.680 --> 1:25:28.799 And so I'm I'm super grateful again, like for this, 1:25:28.800 --> 1:25:32.720 this the University of good moms being able to I've 1:25:32.760 --> 1:25:35.439 been like, it's developed me so much, like my character, 1:25:35.520 --> 1:25:39.920 my personality, my once, my my abilities, my healing abilities, 1:25:39.920 --> 1:25:42.639 my leadership skills. And I probably wouldn't have been able 1:25:42.680 --> 1:25:45.600 to discover this without my friend, without women like you 1:25:45.680 --> 1:25:47.760 and friends that we've gotten to, like, you know, make 1:25:47.800 --> 1:25:50.479 on this journey. And so you know, for anyone listening 1:25:50.560 --> 1:25:52.720 who's just joining the show, or maybe you've listened to 1:25:52.720 --> 1:25:57.640 a bunch of episodes, it's just like women, the community 1:25:57.680 --> 1:26:00.360 that we're you know, we create and the friendships we create. 1:26:00.479 --> 1:26:03.080 Like we've been given such bullshit to say that we 1:26:03.120 --> 1:26:05.559 are not here for each other, because the only way 1:26:05.600 --> 1:26:08.920 we evolve is through each other, is through conversation, is 1:26:09.000 --> 1:26:11.599 through like oh, bitch, you too, Like you got fucked 1:26:11.640 --> 1:26:13.960 up me too, Like oh you didn't you dine some 1:26:13.960 --> 1:26:16.519 something strains for some change, me too, you know, And 1:26:16.560 --> 1:26:18.960 there's no judgment and there this is like the space 1:26:19.080 --> 1:26:22.200 for that. And so I'm just every time I sit down, 1:26:22.200 --> 1:26:27.160 I'm continuously just like so grateful for the opportunity to 1:26:27.160 --> 1:26:28.160 have these conversations. 1:26:28.200 --> 1:26:30.120 And just like you, we look at your page, I'm like. 1:26:30.040 --> 1:26:30.719 Oh you know this person? 1:26:30.720 --> 1:26:31.479 You know, how do you know me? 1:26:31.520 --> 1:26:33.640 Alla, I'm like yeah, because I've been just talking all 1:26:33.680 --> 1:26:36.240 your friends online and now we're here. So it's like 1:26:36.640 --> 1:26:40.040 a sisterhood is some real shit, and like we are 1:26:40.080 --> 1:26:42.880 each other's teachers and we are each other's students, and 1:26:42.880 --> 1:26:46.920 and like this part of evolving and resurrecting the free woman, 1:26:47.160 --> 1:26:48.880 this is the part. This is how we do it. 1:26:48.920 --> 1:26:53.879 And so it's spiritual. It's the spiritual sorority. If you're listening, 1:26:54.000 --> 1:26:58.160 and you know, you've been your inside has been telling 1:26:58.200 --> 1:26:59.679 you that you have a gift, or that there's something 1:26:59.720 --> 1:27:02.200 that you to learn, or that you know that parts 1:27:02.200 --> 1:27:04.680 of you that you need to let like unfold, do 1:27:04.800 --> 1:27:06.479 that shit. You know, if you're not, if you're listening, 1:27:06.479 --> 1:27:08.800 it's not by coincidence that we're having this conversation. I 1:27:08.800 --> 1:27:12.400 always say this, so like, follow the synchronicities, follow the 1:27:12.439 --> 1:27:14.759 alignment because it could lead you to your best friend 1:27:14.760 --> 1:27:16.960 and your next best friend, and your next business partner, 1:27:17.320 --> 1:27:19.960 and to your tribe and to your people, and ultimately 1:27:19.960 --> 1:27:23.680 to your healing. And you're evolving to like priestess. 1:27:24.840 --> 1:27:25.200 Amen. 1:27:25.600 --> 1:27:30.360 Amen, Amen, Speaking of priestess and evolving, we pulled a card. 1:27:30.600 --> 1:27:31.280 Is it Tarot time? 1:27:31.400 --> 1:27:32.200 It's Tarot time? 1:27:32.320 --> 1:27:32.679 Bitches? 1:27:32.840 --> 1:27:34.479 Is it Tarot time? Or is it horry time? 1:27:34.960 --> 1:27:35.280 Mm? 1:27:35.479 --> 1:27:36.080 I think Tarot? 1:27:36.160 --> 1:27:38.880 And then we'll go into the horr Yeah, okay, you 1:27:38.920 --> 1:27:41.799 know you know the dark witches love some horries. 1:27:42.400 --> 1:27:42.800 We do. 1:27:44.120 --> 1:27:46.880 Even that, like, even when we started our show not 1:27:46.920 --> 1:27:48.960 really knowing the direction it was going in. It's so 1:27:49.200 --> 1:27:51.960 interesting that no matter what we had aspects of sex, 1:27:52.120 --> 1:27:54.320 because that's who we are, and you're gonna like it, 1:27:54.400 --> 1:27:54.920 gonna take it. 1:27:56.479 --> 1:27:58.919 Tatiana pulled the Six of Cups. 1:27:59.800 --> 1:28:07.719 This Six of Cups revisiting the past, childhood memories. Okay, Vampire, 1:28:07.760 --> 1:28:20.360 the Buffer, Xena and Roger Rabbit, innocence enjoy hmm. Our 1:28:20.479 --> 1:28:24.000 tarot cards are always on point. Okay, because we're super witches. 1:28:26.120 --> 1:28:27.200 Okay. 1:28:28.400 --> 1:28:30.479 The Six of Cups is a card that takes you 1:28:30.560 --> 1:28:33.640 back to the happy memories from your past, whether as 1:28:33.680 --> 1:28:36.559 a child, teenager, or young adult. You may simply be 1:28:36.600 --> 1:28:39.719 revisiting those memories in your mind, or may you travel back. 1:28:41.960 --> 1:28:44.759 Oh my god, this is so crazy. You may simply 1:28:44.800 --> 1:28:47.360 be revisiting those memories in your mind, or you may 1:28:47.439 --> 1:28:50.760 travel back to your childhood home or reconnect with your 1:28:50.840 --> 1:28:51.679 childhood friends. 1:28:52.320 --> 1:28:53.680 You could go to a you can go to. 1:28:53.600 --> 1:28:55.839 A high school reunion, or reconnect with an old buddy. 1:28:56.160 --> 1:28:59.439 A teenage sweetheart or past lever may turn up again. 1:29:00.080 --> 1:29:02.639 These connections bring you a sense of joy and happiness 1:29:02.640 --> 1:29:05.599 as you reminisce over all the fun times you had together. 1:29:06.240 --> 1:29:08.920 Take this occasion to explore whether you still have a 1:29:08.920 --> 1:29:10.960 lot in common and if you wish to continue the 1:29:10.960 --> 1:29:14.080 relationship now it's like with yourself. 1:29:14.200 --> 1:29:14.759 The archetype. 1:29:14.800 --> 1:29:18.120 The archetypes, right, The Six of Cups often shows an 1:29:18.120 --> 1:29:22.320 increased level of harmony and cooperation in your relationships. You 1:29:22.360 --> 1:29:25.840 are ready to give and receive without expectation. You're also 1:29:25.880 --> 1:29:27.960 willing to give each other the benefit of the doubt. 1:29:28.360 --> 1:29:30.880 Having moved on from the challenging emotions of the Five 1:29:30.920 --> 1:29:33.040 of Cups, it's time to turn over a new leaf 1:29:33.080 --> 1:29:36.200 and start afresh from a more positive place. The Six 1:29:36.200 --> 1:29:38.000 of Cups invites you to get in touch with your 1:29:38.000 --> 1:29:42.240 inner child and experiences. Experience the fun, freedom, and innocence 1:29:42.320 --> 1:29:45.200 that comes with being a young child again being all 1:29:45.240 --> 1:29:48.599 of you, You might you might like to sit down 1:29:48.720 --> 1:29:51.040 with an adult coloring book, dance like no one is 1:29:51.080 --> 1:29:54.040 watching you, play your favorite childhood games, or watch Sena 1:29:54.720 --> 1:29:59.320 Zeena for your princess, or spend more time around happy children. 1:29:59.640 --> 1:30:03.439 Wh you give yourself permission to be playful, spontaneous, and creative. 1:30:03.520 --> 1:30:06.200 You connect more with your authentic self and your intuition. 1:30:08.680 --> 1:30:10.680 Wow, is that not on point? At one point? I 1:30:10.720 --> 1:30:11.120 love that? 1:30:11.800 --> 1:30:12.519 So you hear that. 1:30:12.680 --> 1:30:15.839 Go back, think about the archetypes that we were attracted 1:30:15.840 --> 1:30:19.679 to as a child, Tap into that. Revisit if that's 1:30:19.880 --> 1:30:22.080 the part of you that you you've maybe let die 1:30:22.120 --> 1:30:24.640 in adulthood and how you can get back to that 1:30:24.640 --> 1:30:27.280 that that joy and how you identified or what you 1:30:27.320 --> 1:30:31.240 were drawn to during that time. Do some motherfucking cartwheels 1:30:31.600 --> 1:30:32.800 come to the good Faber tree. 1:30:32.960 --> 1:30:35.479 We do a lot of cartwheels, a lot of skinny dipping, 1:30:36.120 --> 1:30:38.000 a lot of dancings happening over there, a lot of 1:30:38.000 --> 1:30:38.479 fun shit. 1:30:39.479 --> 1:30:39.960 It's crazy. 1:30:40.000 --> 1:30:42.200 This card said go back to your like visualized going 1:30:42.200 --> 1:30:44.880 back into your childhood home. Because I did that once, 1:30:44.960 --> 1:30:46.320 like a couple of years ago, and I didn't know. 1:30:46.640 --> 1:30:48.719 I didn't know what like pushed me into that place. 1:30:48.760 --> 1:30:50.280 I do know it was an argument with this fucking 1:30:50.360 --> 1:30:52.400 fuck boy I was dating. But I had never like 1:30:52.479 --> 1:30:55.439 thought about visiting my childhood home. But sitting here in 1:30:55.479 --> 1:30:57.879 this house right now, like something fell and it like echoed, 1:30:57.920 --> 1:30:59.840 and it brought me back to this house I lived 1:30:59.840 --> 1:31:01.560 in briefly in Atlanta, and it was not in a 1:31:01.600 --> 1:31:04.560 good place. But it's just so crazy that we underestimate 1:31:05.240 --> 1:31:09.880 the exercise of visualization and how you can like spiritually 1:31:10.400 --> 1:31:13.240 time travel and go back to places and like visit 1:31:13.280 --> 1:31:16.759 those versions of yourself. And just being here in Atlanta 1:31:16.840 --> 1:31:19.160 and like kind of thinking I'm going to come and 1:31:19.200 --> 1:31:20.720 have a lot of friends and do like, you know, 1:31:20.800 --> 1:31:24.160 go on a lot of free dates that didn't happen. Bitch, 1:31:24.200 --> 1:31:26.479 you need to maybe go dig deep into like the 1:31:26.479 --> 1:31:28.880 places you were in your life then that have been 1:31:29.640 --> 1:31:31.680 dormant and like the things that were coming up that 1:31:31.720 --> 1:31:34.599 I wasn't like skilled enough to to like kind of 1:31:34.720 --> 1:31:35.400 understand that. 1:31:36.520 --> 1:31:37.800 So I'm grateful for that card. 1:31:37.840 --> 1:31:40.799 Thank you for pulling that, and also just encouraging everyone 1:31:40.840 --> 1:31:43.160 listening to do some you know, time travel in your 1:31:43.160 --> 1:31:44.280 brain and see what comes up. 1:31:47.600 --> 1:31:49.400 Thank you so much. This has been great. 1:31:49.560 --> 1:31:50.000 Thank you. 1:31:50.600 --> 1:31:52.799 Do you want to share a hory with our peoples? 1:31:53.560 --> 1:32:00.839 There's so many, So I have a you that always 1:32:00.840 --> 1:32:03.120 stand out to me, but the one that really changed 1:32:03.120 --> 1:32:04.920 my life, that put me on this path. And I 1:32:04.960 --> 1:32:08.599 actually have an ebook that I that I titled this, 1:32:08.760 --> 1:32:12.280 but the e book was called for every man that 1:32:12.320 --> 1:32:14.479 doesn't treat you right, there's one that's gonna eat a 1:32:14.479 --> 1:32:18.360 cupcake out of your ass. You hear that? So I 1:32:18.479 --> 1:32:23.320 like that. The very sexual affair that I had whilst 1:32:23.400 --> 1:32:25.439 cheating on my ex husband, I remember the real turning 1:32:25.479 --> 1:32:29.160 point was like this man brought cupcakes and champagne and 1:32:29.200 --> 1:32:31.200 we had like a floor picnic, and he was like 1:32:31.280 --> 1:32:32.920 I'm gonna eat this cupcake out, y'all. 1:32:32.920 --> 1:32:33.120 Ass. 1:32:33.280 --> 1:32:35.920 That just shifted something in me for life where I 1:32:36.000 --> 1:32:38.719 was like, bitch, for every man that does not treat 1:32:38.760 --> 1:32:41.320 me right, there's a man who's gonna have a picnic 1:32:41.439 --> 1:32:46.479 in my ass. So that would definitely be one that 1:32:46.600 --> 1:32:48.400 just shifted my whole perspective. 1:32:48.439 --> 1:32:49.960 I did have a memory the other day. We're talking 1:32:49.960 --> 1:32:50.880 about childhood memories. 1:32:50.920 --> 1:32:53.759 Just sounds so bad, but like, you know, I started 1:32:53.800 --> 1:32:56.040 having sex fairly early, but I remember like on a 1:32:56.080 --> 1:32:57.720 school night, I think I was like fifteen. Do you 1:32:57.760 --> 1:33:02.720 guys remember those like green inflatable chairs? Even lunch The 1:33:02.760 --> 1:33:04.439 other day, I was just doing something random. I was like, 1:33:04.479 --> 1:33:06.800 why did this flash back? But I remember sneaking a 1:33:06.800 --> 1:33:09.840 boy in my room and like I tied him and 1:33:10.600 --> 1:33:13.880 blindfolded him to that chair with like the black lights on, 1:33:13.920 --> 1:33:15.599 and shit. I was like, was that baby dungeon? 1:33:15.880 --> 1:33:16.120 Yeah? 1:33:16.680 --> 1:33:18.920 Yeah, I was like really into that shit. Like I 1:33:18.960 --> 1:33:21.719 was like, who taught me that? And I was like, oh, 1:33:22.680 --> 1:33:24.200 so that would probably be another one. 1:33:24.360 --> 1:33:25.679 Not the inflatable share bitch. 1:33:26.040 --> 1:33:27.720 I mean, if you have questions, like again, like I 1:33:27.720 --> 1:33:29.600 have so many just like memories. 1:33:30.400 --> 1:33:31.000 I love that. 1:33:31.120 --> 1:33:33.360 I love that I'm not a baby dungeon. 1:33:33.560 --> 1:33:35.600 That's a baby dungeon. It was like, you know, it 1:33:35.680 --> 1:33:38.720 was like the soft inflatable furniture. And I used to 1:33:38.760 --> 1:33:41.679 like like stalk their m message You remember MSN messenger. 1:33:41.880 --> 1:33:44.000 Yes, I'm like they even tell you, like what. 1:33:44.040 --> 1:33:45.920 Music they were playing. So I would like create a 1:33:45.960 --> 1:33:47.840 playlist and they'd be like, oh my god, how did 1:33:47.880 --> 1:33:49.080 you know that I love the song? I was like 1:33:49.120 --> 1:33:52.240 I don't know, you know, so I was like, oh, 1:33:52.240 --> 1:33:54.439 I was really like kind of in that like dark 1:33:54.479 --> 1:33:58.680 feminine energy from them. So yeah, that was fun. I 1:33:58.720 --> 1:33:59.080 love that. 1:33:59.280 --> 1:34:00.920 Do you have any I'm just curious, do you have 1:34:00.920 --> 1:34:03.240 any stories about during your time and sex work, like 1:34:03.280 --> 1:34:05.960 any sort of interesting or like creepy. 1:34:06.200 --> 1:34:08.519 Yeah, it could be crappy or it could be creepy 1:34:08.600 --> 1:34:09.960 or kinky requests that. 1:34:10.280 --> 1:34:10.479 Yeah. 1:34:10.560 --> 1:34:15.759 I I I so again for psychological reasons, like I 1:34:15.800 --> 1:34:18.000 was very I had boundaries around what types of fetishes 1:34:18.080 --> 1:34:20.479 that I did. I had a man that used to 1:34:20.520 --> 1:34:23.640 pay me to blow up balloons topless. Oh so like 1:34:23.720 --> 1:34:25.639 you just like call me and be like what color 1:34:25.680 --> 1:34:28.920 balloons do you want? And I'm like pink and black and. 1:34:28.840 --> 1:34:31.120 He would just pay me to blow them up and 1:34:31.200 --> 1:34:31.800 I would like. 1:34:31.760 --> 1:34:35.040 Pop them under his ass, or like he brought birthday 1:34:35.080 --> 1:34:37.800 candles and like I would like the birthday candles and 1:34:37.840 --> 1:34:41.200 like burden them on his nipples. I've had a man 1:34:41.280 --> 1:34:42.840 ask me to shove a heel up his ass. 1:34:42.840 --> 1:34:43.639 He's so festive. 1:34:43.960 --> 1:34:47.400 Oh, I wouldn't have a heel held as Yeah, he 1:34:47.560 --> 1:34:50.360 bought me something was there, lube involved. He didn't even 1:34:50.360 --> 1:34:53.920 want that. He bought me pink latex heels and he 1:34:54.000 --> 1:34:55.920 wanted me to shove them up his ass, but for 1:34:56.080 --> 1:34:58.400 just safety reasons. I'm like, I'm not comfortable doing that. 1:34:58.880 --> 1:35:01.000 So he like licked the He would just like lick 1:35:01.080 --> 1:35:05.240 them and worship my feet. I had, you know, people 1:35:05.240 --> 1:35:08.160 who liked tickling, so they like hold you down and 1:35:08.200 --> 1:35:08.840 tickle you. 1:35:10.160 --> 1:35:11.200 They would tickle you. 1:35:11.520 --> 1:35:13.519 Yeah, I had a few times, and that was actually 1:35:13.600 --> 1:35:15.880 really good for me. Like you know how like I said, 1:35:15.960 --> 1:35:18.160 laughter is just so healthy. At first, I'd be like 1:35:18.720 --> 1:35:21.200 that took a lot of trust for me. I wouldn't 1:35:21.200 --> 1:35:23.559 necessarily do it like the first time, like we'd have 1:35:23.640 --> 1:35:25.760 to build trust. But I was like, that's just so 1:35:25.880 --> 1:35:28.519 much fun because you don't realize how much you need them. 1:35:28.640 --> 1:35:30.280 Oh my god, that sounds traumatic for me. 1:35:31.000 --> 1:35:35.200 It was hard. Hate guy was strong. I hate hate. 1:35:35.640 --> 1:35:37.280 That might be like my biggest hate of all time. 1:35:38.000 --> 1:35:40.480 You get defeat. I hate. 1:35:40.600 --> 1:35:42.040 I totally like it. But it was fun. 1:35:42.120 --> 1:35:45.040 Like I get irate, like great too much? 1:35:45.680 --> 1:35:47.400 Did you get too tickled as a child? 1:35:47.479 --> 1:35:49.599 I don't know what it is, but whatever Nigga thinks 1:35:49.600 --> 1:35:50.120 it's cute. 1:35:50.240 --> 1:35:54.759 I get mad, like very angry quickly. So remember we 1:35:54.479 --> 1:35:55.640 had who did we have on that was? 1:35:55.800 --> 1:35:56.719 Who liked to be tickled? 1:35:57.160 --> 1:35:57.719 Come curious? 1:35:57.760 --> 1:35:58.519 Yeah I'm curious. 1:35:58.600 --> 1:36:01.000 Yeah. I was like, bitch, this sounds good traumatic? But 1:36:01.120 --> 1:36:04.080 did mommy play one time? And I was actually kind 1:36:04.080 --> 1:36:06.439 of proud of myself. Do they have a diaper and things? No? 1:36:06.600 --> 1:36:09.439 So like he asks for mommy play and I was like, 1:36:09.439 --> 1:36:10.800 how is he going to do? Like how am I 1:36:10.800 --> 1:36:12.200 going to do this? Like he acts for it like 1:36:12.280 --> 1:36:15.439 on the whim, and I was like fuck because he's 1:36:15.479 --> 1:36:19.160 a regular and so like he showed up late. He 1:36:19.280 --> 1:36:22.160 was like thirty minutes late, and like as soon as 1:36:22.240 --> 1:36:24.160 I came through the door, I got in character. I 1:36:24.240 --> 1:36:26.599 was like, who do you think you are coming in. 1:36:26.600 --> 1:36:29.120 This house this time of day and wasting you? 1:36:29.600 --> 1:36:32.920 So like I had some textbooks at the at the 1:36:32.920 --> 1:36:34.960 place I worked out because someone wanted like, you know, 1:36:35.080 --> 1:36:38.639 like schoolgirl shit. So I was like, fold your clothes 1:36:38.720 --> 1:36:40.800 up on this chair, put them over there, and I 1:36:40.880 --> 1:36:44.400 was like, go stand in that corner for fifteen minutes. 1:36:44.560 --> 1:36:46.360 And so he's fifteen minutes. Like I made him stand 1:36:46.360 --> 1:36:48.000 in the corner holding the books up like this for 1:36:48.040 --> 1:36:49.200 fifteen minutes of the corner. 1:36:49.760 --> 1:36:50.240 He loved it. 1:36:50.360 --> 1:36:51.120 He loved it. 1:36:51.160 --> 1:36:53.320 I was like yes, and you're like, damn, the time 1:36:53.360 --> 1:36:54.519 is up now bye bye. 1:36:55.120 --> 1:36:59.240 Yeah. So I didn't have anything like exceptionally crazy. I 1:36:59.360 --> 1:37:03.160 really filtered because you know, fetish work gets complicated, Like 1:37:03.320 --> 1:37:05.040 I didn't go full fetish because you have people, a 1:37:05.040 --> 1:37:06.640 lot of people like waste your time and just like 1:37:07.000 --> 1:37:09.760 email you and play games. I kind of kept it 1:37:09.800 --> 1:37:12.719 like in light in the fetish. I loved ball torture, 1:37:13.640 --> 1:37:15.559 so like I had certain men that like paid me 1:37:15.600 --> 1:37:17.800 to slap them in the balls, and I'm like this 1:37:17.920 --> 1:37:20.320 is like for every woman that's ever been done wrong, 1:37:21.040 --> 1:37:25.479 you know. So that was fun. I can't really think 1:37:25.520 --> 1:37:27.960 of anything else that's too crazy. I mean I had 1:37:28.000 --> 1:37:30.640 a few cross dressers, like I remember, it was it 1:37:30.680 --> 1:37:33.160 was wild because he didn't tell me. So, Like he 1:37:33.320 --> 1:37:36.120 was like probably like in his fifties, like from up north, 1:37:36.240 --> 1:37:38.920 like real thick accent, older white man pulled up in 1:37:38.960 --> 1:37:41.560 a red corvette. He's like, can I use the bathroom? 1:37:41.880 --> 1:37:44.720 And I'm like, yeah, go ahead, and he comes out 1:37:44.800 --> 1:37:47.920 in like a purple corset o panty hose in a wig. 1:37:47.960 --> 1:37:51.320 He's like, do you think I'm pretty? And I'm like yes, 1:37:51.560 --> 1:37:53.840 and I'm like, damn, I spent sixty RECs to go 1:37:53.880 --> 1:37:55.120 to college and I'm here like. 1:37:56.400 --> 1:37:59.000 Girling ass man, like he looked pretty and he's like, 1:38:00.000 --> 1:38:01.000 her name is Barbara. 1:38:02.439 --> 1:38:06.280 Yeah, her name was Barbara. So that was interesting. It 1:38:06.320 --> 1:38:09.800 was just like but again, like that space prepared me 1:38:09.920 --> 1:38:13.240 so much for just being accepting of human beings and 1:38:13.320 --> 1:38:15.840 like where they're at. Because the scariest thing to me 1:38:16.560 --> 1:38:19.240 was that I had men that had wives that didn't 1:38:19.280 --> 1:38:22.439 know them right. So I had some people that were honest. 1:38:22.479 --> 1:38:23.920 I was like does your wife know this about you? 1:38:23.960 --> 1:38:25.519 And they're like no, and I'm like, how can you 1:38:25.600 --> 1:38:27.320 sleep next to someone that doesn't know you? 1:38:27.400 --> 1:38:31.599 Wow? That fear of like just judged, yeah, yeah, that's 1:38:31.920 --> 1:38:33.719 again not being able to be your full self. 1:38:33.880 --> 1:38:35.799 And then one time I had a this is not fetished. 1:38:35.800 --> 1:38:38.200 But one time I had a man that had elephant titus, 1:38:38.800 --> 1:38:42.920 like yeah, like and he didn't tell me, so like 1:38:42.960 --> 1:38:46.880 when I flipped him over, like it was just like 1:38:46.880 --> 1:38:50.439 a giant humor and it was literally like the elephant 1:38:50.479 --> 1:38:52.960 in the room. It really was. And he just talked 1:38:52.960 --> 1:38:55.280 around and he was like, do you think I'm a 1:38:55.320 --> 1:38:57.439 trust But I'm like, I have to hold space for 1:38:57.520 --> 1:38:59.720 this man because I'm sure he can't date regularly. 1:39:00.120 --> 1:39:03.280 So I realized that he was using the service. 1:39:02.960 --> 1:39:04.960 As a way to get the affection that he needed 1:39:04.960 --> 1:39:07.200 because he wasn't able to date regularly. So that's where 1:39:07.240 --> 1:39:09.479 I really began to have a lot of empathy for 1:39:09.560 --> 1:39:14.840 sex workers. And there's a really great movie called The 1:39:14.920 --> 1:39:17.679 Sessions with Helen Hunt, which is about being a sex 1:39:17.680 --> 1:39:19.400 surrogate where she worked with a man who was a 1:39:19.439 --> 1:39:22.080 paraplegic and he was a virgin and he wanted to 1:39:22.080 --> 1:39:24.720 explore his sexuality and try to get into dating and 1:39:24.760 --> 1:39:27.080 she would facilitate that space. So I don't know if 1:39:27.120 --> 1:39:28.640 you know that, like there's such thing as like a 1:39:28.720 --> 1:39:32.640 sex surrogate certification. And I had a client of in 1:39:32.680 --> 1:39:35.479 the United States in a few states. Okay, we actually 1:39:35.520 --> 1:39:38.640 only have like one or two here in Georgia. But 1:39:38.720 --> 1:39:40.920 I had a client who told me about that because 1:39:40.960 --> 1:39:42.960 he was like, I'm concerned for your safety. He was like, 1:39:43.000 --> 1:39:45.520 you should try and do this legally, and I'm like, okay. 1:39:45.880 --> 1:39:47.960 But when I looked back at our email, because he 1:39:47.960 --> 1:39:50.559 has sent me all these references, I was so grateful 1:39:50.600 --> 1:39:53.120 because what he saw in me was now the business 1:39:53.120 --> 1:39:56.000 that I have now, I just didn't see it yet. 1:39:56.800 --> 1:40:00.799 So yeah, but nothing too wild and and crazy. 1:40:01.120 --> 1:40:03.720 Oh this interesting stories that I'm sure many people have 1:40:03.760 --> 1:40:07.719 never experienced and would be considered wild and crazy. Yeah, 1:40:07.760 --> 1:40:10.160 but I think it's really cool how the work that 1:40:10.200 --> 1:40:12.600 you've done in that space really did prepare you to 1:40:13.160 --> 1:40:17.440 humanize people and to really understand you know that ultimately, 1:40:18.320 --> 1:40:22.679 at our core, we just want love, whether that's from ourselves, 1:40:22.840 --> 1:40:23.639 whether that's from other. 1:40:23.560 --> 1:40:24.280 People in safety. 1:40:24.560 --> 1:40:27.800 Yeah, So being able to provide spaces for people and 1:40:27.840 --> 1:40:29.959 women like that is really important. 1:40:30.040 --> 1:40:32.120 So I'm really grateful for the work that you do. 1:40:32.200 --> 1:40:34.240 Yeah. I told peop all the time like that, that's 1:40:34.360 --> 1:40:36.960 where I learned how to be a safe space. You know. 1:40:37.880 --> 1:40:41.760 And sometimes sex work sex workers are the closest things 1:40:41.760 --> 1:40:44.160 that men are going to get to therapy. And I 1:40:44.200 --> 1:40:46.360 told you all the time, like, you know what if 1:40:46.439 --> 1:40:49.040 a lot of these things were legal and we could 1:40:49.280 --> 1:40:52.719 create in a way that it did help people, because 1:40:52.760 --> 1:40:55.800 sometimes people need that form of therapy. But I was like, 1:40:55.840 --> 1:40:58.200 do you know how many marriages sometimes we say by 1:40:58.280 --> 1:41:01.000 dealer with your husband's darkness and sending them back to you. 1:41:01.280 --> 1:41:04.280 So I always encourage people because I think that people 1:41:04.320 --> 1:41:08.680 think that sex workers are just like desperate addicts and 1:41:08.720 --> 1:41:10.840 stuff like that. And I've you know, I've seen a 1:41:10.880 --> 1:41:13.120 lot of people be judgmental where I've worked with a 1:41:13.120 --> 1:41:15.640 lot of educated women and sex work, and I'm like 1:41:15.720 --> 1:41:18.519 a lot of us have happy endings. We have happy endings, 1:41:18.560 --> 1:41:22.840 and we have empowerment stories, and we are multifaceted, and 1:41:22.880 --> 1:41:25.280 all of us don't necessarily get into this just on 1:41:25.360 --> 1:41:29.400 pure survival. I was definitely spiritually aligned to go through 1:41:29.479 --> 1:41:32.000 that world by spirit in order to hold the type 1:41:32.000 --> 1:41:34.040 of space that I do now for darkness. And so 1:41:34.400 --> 1:41:37.559 I'm really grateful too, because more people need that acceptance, 1:41:37.640 --> 1:41:39.040 like you said, need that love in the world. 1:41:39.360 --> 1:41:41.200 Absolutely, that tantric speech. 1:41:41.520 --> 1:41:43.599 You know, that love like no matter what, I don't 1:41:43.600 --> 1:41:45.240 care what if you want to put on those pantyhose. 1:41:45.280 --> 1:41:47.400 I love you, Bob or whatever the fuck your name is. Yes, 1:41:47.560 --> 1:41:50.160 you know, and like the fear too, like the fear 1:41:50.200 --> 1:41:53.240 that that breeds. Like imagine laying down with someone every 1:41:53.320 --> 1:41:55.360 night and they like, there's just one thing that you love, 1:41:55.400 --> 1:41:57.040 but you can't you don't feel like you can tell them. 1:41:57.360 --> 1:41:58.680 That is a scary place to be. 1:41:58.840 --> 1:42:01.519 Or imagine you're the wife and you open the door 1:42:01.560 --> 1:42:04.960 and your husband's in full yeah, and you're like, hey, what. 1:42:04.960 --> 1:42:06.679 The fuck, I think we've got some shit to talk about. 1:42:06.720 --> 1:42:08.920 But it's the same thing as just like laying down 1:42:08.960 --> 1:42:11.080 with someone and not knowing who they are, and like, 1:42:11.120 --> 1:42:14.720 that's why accepting yourself is so important and showing up 1:42:14.720 --> 1:42:17.280 in your darkness and your light so that you can, 1:42:17.400 --> 1:42:20.200 you know, find partnership and friendship and tribe in that 1:42:20.240 --> 1:42:24.160 same space and you're not cloaked and trying to navigate 1:42:24.200 --> 1:42:26.599 all these different spaces in different rooms because you don't 1:42:26.600 --> 1:42:31.760 feel comfortable enough to do that. Well, thank you so 1:42:31.880 --> 1:42:35.360 much for coming to join us today, having me. It's 1:42:35.400 --> 1:42:37.880 so grateful. We're gonna stock your friends now. I know. 1:42:38.960 --> 1:42:41.080 Yeah, I'm like I had your numbers. 1:42:40.520 --> 1:42:41.200 On my algorithm. 1:42:41.640 --> 1:42:43.320 I follow her at all your posts are always God, 1:42:43.320 --> 1:42:45.200 I'm my guess this morning with the trap Witch. 1:42:45.640 --> 1:42:48.400 Can you tell people where they can find you on Instagram? 1:42:48.560 --> 1:42:50.720 The trap Witch, the trap Witch. 1:42:50.800 --> 1:42:52.559 Make sure you go check out some of your courses. 1:42:52.560 --> 1:42:53.599 You still have the right. 1:42:53.640 --> 1:42:56.360 I'm doing classes, master classes. I just did my Unbound 1:42:56.400 --> 1:43:02.600 Priestess masterclass. It was about you know, beauty, magic, adornment, duality, 1:43:02.840 --> 1:43:05.559 all of these things. But yeah, I do courses. I'm 1:43:05.560 --> 1:43:07.920 gonna be doing a lot more podcasts and getting on 1:43:07.920 --> 1:43:10.080 the road and doing in personal events and hopefully some 1:43:10.120 --> 1:43:11.200 retreats as well soon. 1:43:12.840 --> 1:43:15.240 And you guys, if you are not on Patreon, make 1:43:15.240 --> 1:43:17.599 sure you go check out Patreon. We have a bonus 1:43:17.640 --> 1:43:22.120 episode with Tatiana where we're talking about that throat pussy. 1:43:23.200 --> 1:43:25.960 So click the link in this episode description to check 1:43:25.960 --> 1:43:29.320 out this bonus episode and extension of this episode on Patreon, 1:43:29.360 --> 1:43:32.280 plus a lot of other bonus content. Bimila have our 1:43:32.320 --> 1:43:35.360 personal blogs there. I share a lot more personal shit 1:43:35.400 --> 1:43:37.040 than I do on social media's. 1:43:38.200 --> 1:43:43.040 We have other bonus videos and what else. 1:43:45.680 --> 1:43:48.840 We have a retreat coming up in August of twenty 1:43:48.880 --> 1:43:51.960 twenty four and it's almost sold out, so if you 1:43:52.040 --> 1:43:53.400 bitches are being last minute. 1:43:53.720 --> 1:43:56.200 Stop. You have almost a year to pay that shit off. 1:43:56.800 --> 1:43:57.759 Come for your. 1:43:57.640 --> 1:44:00.519 Titties, do some cartwheels, hang out with us good, don't 1:44:00.560 --> 1:44:04.280 worry about anything, make new friends, and get in touch 1:44:04.320 --> 1:44:06.120 with your dark feminine And if. 1:44:06.080 --> 1:44:08.880 You're in La on October twenty first come check us out. 1:44:09.320 --> 1:44:12.760 The tickets are in this episode description. Come hang out with. 1:44:12.640 --> 1:44:14.479 Me on my birthday. 1:44:14.760 --> 1:44:17.760 Make sure you subscribe to this channel on YouTube. Go 1:44:17.840 --> 1:44:20.679 leave a review on Apple Podcast if you haven't yet, 1:44:21.280 --> 1:44:23.080 and we'll see you next week. 1:44:23.479 --> 1:44:26.080 In where to find us, Good Mom's Underscore, Bad Choices, 1:44:26.200 --> 1:44:28.680 or our beautiful website, Good Momsbad Choices dot com, go 1:44:28.720 --> 1:44:29.160 look at it. 1:44:30.040 --> 1:45:00.280 Bye bye, as 1:45:04.560 --> 1:45:04.760 Yeah