Speaker 1: I'm here with Julia Haett and I am doing something
Speaker 1: I told her I have never done before. I literally
Speaker 1: she slid into my d M s or my my
Speaker 1: email and I was like, hey, let's collaborate. Let's podcast
Speaker 1: and I checked her out. I went over to her site,
Speaker 1: it's Fancy Free podcast dot com, and I was like,
Speaker 1: let's freaking do it. You seem like someone who is awesome.
Speaker 1: You have a really cool podcast vibe. I checked it out.
Speaker 1: I love it because tell me about why you started
Speaker 1: the Fancy Free Podcast. I think it is such a
Speaker 1: great such a great motto, and such a great model
Speaker 1: for life and for moms and for women like to
Speaker 1: just go for life and don't worry about it. So
Speaker 1: tell me about the origination of Fancy Free Podcast. Yes, okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I have a blog and one day I got stuck
Speaker 1: in address at Dillard's and I wrote a story, a
Speaker 1: funny story about having gotten stuck in this dress at Dillards.
Speaker 1: When it happened, I had to have the sales girl
Speaker 1: come in and help me get out of this dress.
Speaker 1: It's not it's not like the zipper was stuck. I
Speaker 1: was like, I wedged myself into a dress that was
Speaker 1: so much too small for me that I literally just
Speaker 1: could not get it off. And it was very humbling experience,
Speaker 1: because the whole reason I went down to Dillards is
Speaker 1: because I gained a little way and my mom had
Speaker 1: come and said, oh, they're having a sale. So I
Speaker 1: was searching through these racks and I was just leaving
Speaker 1: this one rack of clothes and I was searching through
Speaker 1: and I found this top that I really liked. And
Speaker 1: then I was like, oh my god, there's the top
Speaker 1: my mom was wearing. Like somehow I must have gotten
Speaker 1: into the wrong department, Like my mom's super cuman stuff,
Speaker 1: but she's in her seventies. I don't want to dress
Speaker 1: like her. So so I hung a really hard right
Speaker 1: back into the department that I thought I was supposed
Speaker 1: to be in, like you know, the department you look
Speaker 1: longingly at when you walk by and go to the
Speaker 1: junior section with your kids. But it's not the old
Speaker 1: Lady department either. So and then before as soon as
Speaker 1: I was like, oh crap, I just almost tried on
Speaker 1: an old Lady shirt, then um, I saw this dress.
Speaker 1: It was so beautiful. It was this chif funny kind
Speaker 1: of ivory, deep v with some black embroidery sort of short.
Speaker 1: I knew it was nothing my mom would ever try,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yes, sister, you are my dress. So
Speaker 1: I take it in. I tried a whole bunch of
Speaker 1: stuffs go and find. Then I put on the dress
Speaker 1: and it's a size large and it's um, it was
Speaker 1: kind of snug, and you know how you just kind
Speaker 1: of like try to shift it around and make it
Speaker 1: look a little more flattering than it naturally looks. And
Speaker 1: you're like, yeah, no, this is not working. It's just
Speaker 1: not going to make it. So I try to get
Speaker 1: it off. I can't get off. That's totally duck. And
Speaker 1: then I realized, oh, there's a zipper. So I lowered
Speaker 1: the zipper and still stuck. So then the sales lady
Speaker 1: comes and she's like, you do it okay, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I put the dress back down and I pop my
Speaker 1: head out him deep, this is a size large? Could
Speaker 1: she can see if you have that's an extra large.
Speaker 1: I'm like trying to buy myself some time. When she
Speaker 1: comes back, I'm still stuck and I open. She's like, no,
Speaker 1: that's as big as the dress. Come. This is a
Speaker 1: wonderful day for myself to speak, Like, the biggest dress
Speaker 1: they make is too small for me for the warm step.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, can you please come in there? Were
Speaker 1: like I need help, and she comes in, shut the door,
Speaker 1: starts trying to help me get out of this dress. Well,
Speaker 1: it gets bench, it's starting to slide. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: thank god. I'm I'm squatting like a like an obedient
Speaker 1: toddler right with my hands panicking. Yeah, like I can
Speaker 1: feel the heat rising. I have to keep telling myself like,
Speaker 1: don't panic, this is okay, surely. I mean, I was like,
Speaker 1: I guess, worst case scenario, we tear the seams and
Speaker 1: then I have to buy it. I could take it
Speaker 1: home and fix it. But anyway, So she starts getting
Speaker 1: the dress off of me and it and then she
Speaker 1: stops and I'm like, oh my god, what's the matter.
Speaker 1: And She's like, well, I have an injured shoulder. This
Speaker 1: is as high as I can go. So now I'm
Speaker 1: in a deep deep knee band trying to get help
Speaker 1: this lady get the dress off me. Finally she gets
Speaker 1: it off and I'm like, oh my god, I'm like,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Meanwhile, I can see feet in
Speaker 1: the in the in the trying you know, the room
Speaker 1: next to me. I'm like, we're and we're not alone.
Speaker 1: But so I thought about asking her if I was
Speaker 1: her first, because she seemed like a really experienced sales lady,
Speaker 1: been there while. And then I was like, no, I
Speaker 1: just can't. I can't even handle it. I don't even
Speaker 1: want to know. So the next thing I know, I'm
Speaker 1: in my car and I'm like, Okay, I bought the
Speaker 1: top that I liked. I know I didn't steal it
Speaker 1: because I hear I have the receipt, like I got
Speaker 1: out of there. I don't think I you know anyway.
Speaker 1: So but by the time I'm driving home, I've picked
Speaker 1: my daughter up from gymnastics, we are howling with laughter
Speaker 1: about this story, and it's just it's like, first I
Speaker 1: was embarrassed, then I was just amused. I was like,
Speaker 1: that's hilarious. So then by the time when we get home,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm gonna just make sure they don't have
Speaker 1: that dress in extra large because I'm somehow obsessed about
Speaker 1: that dress. Well they didn't. They only had it in
Speaker 1: a large. I bought that thing hanging in my closet
Speaker 1: still doesn't fit but anyway, but some day it will.
Speaker 1: I then I wrote a story about it on my blog.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh, you guys have to
Speaker 1: hear funny thing that happened to me. And then I
Speaker 1: got so much feedback on Facebook, and oh, yeah, that
Speaker 1: happened to me. This happened to me. That happened to me.
Speaker 1: And I was like, wait, why aren't we telling each
Speaker 1: other these stories? Why? I know that we tend to
Speaker 1: want to try to put our best foot forward, but
Speaker 1: wouldn't it be such a gift to each other if
Speaker 1: we could show the flip side of the coin every
Speaker 1: now and then and show each other our underbellies And
Speaker 1: and then I was thinking back, So so the story
Speaker 1: got published, and then it got published in this well
Speaker 1: on my blog and then in red Tricycle and which
Speaker 1: they do. What's your blogs? What's your blog so people
Speaker 1: can try? Your blog is Cozy Cozy Clothes blog dot com.
Speaker 1: So it's because I designed a line of um women's
Speaker 1: lounge where that has a little soft shelf front. It's
Speaker 1: actually in manufacturing right now. The factories closed at the moment,
Speaker 1: but yeah, yeah, so it'll be it'll be for stale
Speaker 1: pretty soon. But so I I started the blog to
Speaker 1: to sort of chronicle that experience because a physician designing clothes,
Speaker 1: it's like, how's this happening? So I thought people might
Speaker 1: be curious about the process. So that's why I blog.
Speaker 1: But anyway, so I wrote this article about getting stuck
Speaker 1: in its dress and it got picked up by Red
Speaker 1: Tricycle and they changed the name to we should be
Speaker 1: lowering the bar for each other. And this gal commented
Speaker 1: on that story saying, oh, you know, that title I
Speaker 1: thought was super misleading because I didn't think I was
Speaker 1: going to find a silly story about some girl getting
Speaker 1: stuck in the dress. And it really got me to thinking, yeah,
Speaker 1: that is actually the main point of this story is
Speaker 1: that we need to be showing each other these things
Speaker 1: that happen are not so fancy moments, and we not
Speaker 1: just so that we all feel ss alone in our imperfection,
Speaker 1: but as a means towards connection, and as a mean
Speaker 1: towards shamelessness, and as as an avenue towards a ripple
Speaker 1: effective joy. Because so it reminded me of a Christmas
Speaker 1: party i'd gone to a few years before. My girlfriend
Speaker 1: Karen had this party. She invited all of her girlfriends
Speaker 1: from different walks of life. So we were there. We
Speaker 1: all knew Karen, but a lot of us didn't know
Speaker 1: each other. We'd seen each other around kind of in
Speaker 1: the same general circles. But so it was one of
Speaker 1: those those parties where you steal a gift, so you
Speaker 1: get a number and then you open the gift. So
Speaker 1: much fun. So but she added something to it. She
Speaker 1: had when your number comes up to tell the most
Speaker 1: embarrassing story, Oh, isn't that great? And that was befo
Speaker 1: way before I got stuck in the dress. But getting
Speaker 1: stuck in addressed kind of reminded me back to this story.
Speaker 1: This party. It's the hardest I've ever laughed at a
Speaker 1: party in all my life. It was like forty women
Speaker 1: telling their most embarrassing stories and you could see, you know,
Speaker 1: they're all there, so you can see their mannerisms in
Speaker 1: their body language. Is just like, oh my gosh. It
Speaker 1: was the best ab workout. Like if you want to
Speaker 1: get together with your girlfriends and work out your abs
Speaker 1: without actually putting on your workout clothes to tell each
Speaker 1: other you're embarrassing stories. But I tell you, not only
Speaker 1: did it give me nuggets of things to go back
Speaker 1: and laugh about at random times later in the future.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is years ago. I'm still laughing about
Speaker 1: these stories. But but the more importantly it it forged
Speaker 1: such a such a sense of connection with these other women.
Speaker 1: Like I would see the woman who told about her
Speaker 1: she was commando in soccer shorts and home depot and
Speaker 1: and her her kid pulled her shorts all the way
Speaker 1: down to the floor. She she she had to bend
Speaker 1: all the way down and get the pants and pull
Speaker 1: them up, you know, like so he bear bear booty
Speaker 1: is sticking straight up in the air at the home depot.
Speaker 1: She pulls her she pulls her pants back up, and
Speaker 1: then she's like, maybe nobody saw it, And she looks
Speaker 1: behind her. There's a home depot guy standing right behind.
Speaker 1: So okay. Not only do I still laugh my face
Speaker 1: off about that story years and years later, but when
Speaker 1: I would see her in the school pickup line, I'd
Speaker 1: be like, there's my girl. You know, I love her,
Speaker 1: you know, and I just felt this connection. And um,
Speaker 1: I could just go on and on about how many
Speaker 1: connections I forged that day. It isn't that I had
Speaker 1: person to person interaction with everyone of those women at
Speaker 1: the party, and had I I wouldn't have forged such
Speaker 1: good connections. But it's because as we sat there and
Speaker 1: we showed each other our underbellies, we showed each other
Speaker 1: our imperfections in our foibles. There was another great one.
Speaker 1: And I'm hoping to get this gal on the podcast.
Speaker 1: She's just so busy. She was on honeymoon at in
Speaker 1: some place I've never been, some proper paradise, and her
Speaker 1: bungalow was over the water and they had this glass
Speaker 1: coffee table that you could see the fish through the
Speaker 1: coffee table. And she says she was getting ready for
Speaker 1: dinner and she had just got on the shower and
Speaker 1: she was naked, and she's like some for some reason,
Speaker 1: she's like kind of sitting on the coffee table and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden it breaks and she's like she's
Speaker 1: naked on this broken glass coffee table, like if she
Speaker 1: falls through, she will be an ocean naked. And her
Speaker 1: husband didn't know what to do, and she's hurt, you know,
Speaker 1: So it's calling, like he calls hotel employees in, and
Speaker 1: so the hotel employees are marching in, one afternother. They
Speaker 1: get her under the bed and She's like, all I
Speaker 1: can think is suck it in, suck it in. You
Speaker 1: gotta pose with? Are all these strangers naked? So you know,
Speaker 1: it's just like and I love that woman to this day,
Speaker 1: and and it's not just that I love her for
Speaker 1: that story, but when things have happened in life, she's
Speaker 1: come to mind, and she and I have been able
Speaker 1: to be there for each other in ways that it
Speaker 1: would never have occurred to us to be before we
Speaker 1: knew those stories about each other. So it's almost just
Speaker 1: like this fast forward to intimacy, Yes, but it isn't.
Speaker 1: It's not the false intimacy that we sometimes try to
Speaker 1: put on when we meet someone that we think we
Speaker 1: would really get along with, so we just kind of
Speaker 1: start acting like we know I'm better than we do.
Speaker 1: It's not like that. It's like, I've seen the inside
Speaker 1: of your messy self, sister, and I know that you
Speaker 1: and I are similar in that way. Not only are
Speaker 1: we similar, we're willing to share it and so therefore
Speaker 1: we're connected on a deeper level. So I started my
Speaker 1: podcast because I thought, I want everybody to have a
Speaker 1: place to share these stories, and I want to have
Speaker 1: a place where people can listen to these stories so
Speaker 1: that when they're having a bad day they can get
Speaker 1: a belly laugh. When they leave their kid somewhere and
Speaker 1: show up to the school event with out the kid,
Speaker 1: they can realize they're not the only one with the
Speaker 1: mom fail, you know. So, And it has just been
Speaker 1: so so much fun. It's just it's just a blast.
Speaker 1: But it's been I've been talking to people all around
Speaker 1: the world, and I've just I just feel so much
Speaker 1: more connected and I've just heard something. So the other
Speaker 1: thing I do is so every time I get a
Speaker 1: woman on the phone, not only do I hear about
Speaker 1: or not so fancy stories, but then I talk about
Speaker 1: what is your life about, what are your passions, what
Speaker 1: are you what's the message you're trying to get out
Speaker 1: into the world. And so I've just had some really deep, interesting,
Speaker 1: awesome conversations with women. I think this is such a
Speaker 1: great podcast because I am for my podcast too. I
Speaker 1: am all about women and sharing our journeys and our
Speaker 1: truth and the vulnerable stuff underbelly. I love how you
Speaker 1: say the underbelly. But don't we need to laugh in
Speaker 1: this world? Like I feel man humor will change someone's
Speaker 1: entire perspective that day on a situation like you could
Speaker 1: have left your Dillard's experience where your dress was too small,
Speaker 1: and you could have kept that to yourself. You could
Speaker 1: have even felt shame about it, you know, you could
Speaker 1: have like internalized it as for what the laundry list
Speaker 1: of things that we all can be insecure about, you
Speaker 1: could have come up with one that resonated with you,
Speaker 1: and that could have been that, and then you would
Speaker 1: have moved on and carried that little secret shame around you.
Speaker 1: But instead you are taking a funny experience that just
Speaker 1: isn't defining you at all. It's just an experience in
Speaker 1: your life that didn't go perfectly, and you're finding a
Speaker 1: humor in it. You're willing to share about it, and
Speaker 1: then other people can step up and be like, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, yes that is that isn't exactly what happened
Speaker 1: to me, but this happened to me, And then you
Speaker 1: don't all of a sudden, this like fake layer of
Speaker 1: shame or like embarrassment or insecurity that we would have
Speaker 1: lived with. Now a sudden, it's completely lifted. We realized
Speaker 1: everybody has ship that they're dealing with. Everybody has dresses
Speaker 1: it don't fit everybody move somebody in the in the departments.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just like, but it is so important
Speaker 1: to share those messages just to take away that pressure
Speaker 1: of having to be perfect. And I just think this
Speaker 1: is such a great platform that you're creating. Oh thank you.
Speaker 1: I'm just having so much fun with it. It is
Speaker 1: it's it's just m yeah. I feel like it's very
Speaker 1: devetailed with your mission, which is just to get real,
Speaker 1: because it's not just it's like it takes a bad
Speaker 1: situation and it flips it on its head. You know,
Speaker 1: it's not just it's not just that I can be
Speaker 1: okay with it. It's that I can I can send
Speaker 1: out this this um, this love and this message of
Speaker 1: connectedness and just bring about some shameless Yeah. I think
Speaker 1: shame is a really really important topic. And I feel
Speaker 1: like you kind of hit it on the head with
Speaker 1: that because we can take an experience like that and
Speaker 1: we can internalize that to well, I must be bad.
Speaker 1: But so just not doing that. It's like I saw
Speaker 1: mean the other day that said if you find if
Speaker 1: you can find the humor in a situation, you're there,
Speaker 1: And I didn't. I wasn't always like that because you
Speaker 1: take myself too seriously. Really, It's like, yeah, well, I
Speaker 1: have another story about how I was at a swim
Speaker 1: meet and I got a piece of toilet paper stuck
Speaker 1: to the back of my black pants. But I didn't
Speaker 1: know it for like three hours, and I was timing
Speaker 1: at the swim meat. So when you're timing, you lean
Speaker 1: over the edge of the pool like every you know, minute,
Speaker 1: thirty seconds with your stop watch. And finally one of
Speaker 1: the swimmers was brave enough to tell me about those
Speaker 1: toilet paper and I was like, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 1: not embarrassed, Like I finally have either given up online,
Speaker 1: which I do not think I have, or I've finally
Speaker 1: grown into myself to the point where little embarrassing things
Speaker 1: like that do not shake the foundation of who I
Speaker 1: know I am. And furthermore, you know, we can turn
Speaker 1: it around, as you know, and make it a gift
Speaker 1: to other people. So if you've had a toilet paper tail,
Speaker 1: you probably yeah, it's just it's just so much gosh,
Speaker 1: what finally turned for you? Because I always like to
Speaker 1: know those moments in people's life. What was the moment
Speaker 1: when you're like, I'm not going to feel embarrassed about
Speaker 1: imperfections that happened in life to everybody, like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: learn to laugh at it, Like when did that which
Speaker 1: happened for you? You know, I think it might have
Speaker 1: happened around a MOPS table. Are you familiar with mops?
Speaker 1: It's mothers of preschoolers and it's kind of this international
Speaker 1: nondenominational Christian thing. Will you get together twice a month,
Speaker 1: you have a speaker, You're at the same table every time,
Speaker 1: so you get to know the ten women at your table.
Speaker 1: There's usually a leader, and then there are a bunch
Speaker 1: of moms with preschool kids, you know, babies up to three,
Speaker 1: and then there's a mental mom at each table. Well,
Speaker 1: I was a practicing family physician before I have my kids,
Speaker 1: and I was always took myself sup seriously, own worst critic,
Speaker 1: everything's life and death, which a lot of it was.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like you just can't can't screw up.
Speaker 1: And all of a sudden, I and I'd waited six
Speaker 1: years to have my first baby because Scott and I
Speaker 1: had been in education forever and the only thing I
Speaker 1: ever wanted was to be a wife and a mom.
Speaker 1: But here I was thirty years old with no baby.
Speaker 1: So finally I had my first baby. I thought, listen,
Speaker 1: I'm a trained physician, I've been married six years. I've
Speaker 1: wanted a baby all my life. And suddenly I'm realizing, like, uh,
Speaker 1: this is hard, Like this is not as easy as
Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna be. I don't feel as
Speaker 1: happy as I thought I was going to. So I
Speaker 1: really needed that relationship with other women. And and a
Speaker 1: lot of my friends had already had their kids, are
Speaker 1: already you know, older, or they hadn't had any. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So but I got to this this meeting with these
Speaker 1: other moms of babies, and I sort of started to
Speaker 1: since that they were maybe impressed by the fact that
Speaker 1: I was a physician, and I was like, oh, uh,
Speaker 1: don't you dare be impressed by me? I am a
Speaker 1: freaking mess right now, Like yes, like school did things,
Speaker 1: I do well. We all have our thing. That's how
Speaker 1: it defines me, and my roles don't define me. And
Speaker 1: and so I really got I think it was there
Speaker 1: that I started like going, I'm going to tell you
Speaker 1: all these crazy, funny things because I'm so desperate to
Speaker 1: hear that note that other people are struggling to for
Speaker 1: them more. I want to show you that I'm not
Speaker 1: who you think I am. As far as just because
Speaker 1: I have this title behind my name, I deserve some
Speaker 1: kind of respect from somebody I don't. So I think
Speaker 1: it was then, and I was I was thirty, and
Speaker 1: it was about thirty thirty one when that happened. And
Speaker 1: and and you know what, the world did not explode.
Speaker 1: I wasn't perfect. It wasn't what I thought it was
Speaker 1: going to be. These women still liked me. We we
Speaker 1: we're I'm still friends with those women. So and I'm
Speaker 1: a lot older now, my kids are teenagers now. I
Speaker 1: totally agree. I think that when I feel like I
Speaker 1: finally had that turning point, also probably around thirty where
Speaker 1: it's like my whole twenties, I was so concerned with
Speaker 1: body image and like I struggled like eating disorders, and
Speaker 1: I wanted to be accepted and wanted to be liked
Speaker 1: and wanted to be validated. And you're on stage, so
Speaker 1: that's your that's even like way more amplified because you
Speaker 1: are in the public eye. Oh yeah, and you want
Speaker 1: everyone to think that you're good enough and all this stuff.
Speaker 1: But like secretly inside I was like Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: if they actually find out who I really am, no
Speaker 1: one's gonna like me at all. So let me put
Speaker 1: up this big front. And then finally you get to
Speaker 1: this place where you're like, I am so tired of this,
Speaker 1: and I think that I slowly let myself get to
Speaker 1: know women and realize that everyone was going through journeys
Speaker 1: to the point where now I'm like you. With my platform,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I am singing it loud and proud, swinging
Speaker 1: it from the rafters, telling everyone my flaws to give
Speaker 1: people also the freedom which I feel like you are
Speaker 1: doing two to just be okay with being a hot mess,
Speaker 1: because we're all hot mess. Like it's not a big deal,
Speaker 1: and it's funny. If you're perfect, nobody will like you
Speaker 1: because they won't be able to relate to you, and
Speaker 1: I think they're not going to get anywhere in life,
Speaker 1: and you're lying, and I don't want to hang out
Speaker 1: with the wire exactly that nobody will believe you. If
Speaker 1: they do believe you, they won't like you. It's no
Speaker 1: good either way. I am now to the point where
Speaker 1: if I'm around someone and they are so closed off
Speaker 1: with me that they don't they're not willing to share.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't continue. I can like be around
Speaker 1: you and like be nice to you in social settings,
Speaker 1: so like I cannot pursue deep relationships and invest times
Speaker 1: people if they aren't willing to share. Also because I'm like,
Speaker 1: what are we doing here? Like, what is the point
Speaker 1: of this if we're not going to share and help
Speaker 1: each other? To me, it's to help you, Yes, whether
Speaker 1: it does and if you forge that connection, That's what
Speaker 1: I'm after. I'm after heart to heart connection. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm all done acting like you know, I've got it all,
Speaker 1: you know, put together, and I'm just this perfect like
Speaker 1: sorority girl with all the tin outfits for the ten
Speaker 1: different parties. You know. I was. Do you know that
Speaker 1: movie Steal Magnolias where with the gal says laughter through
Speaker 1: tears is my favorite emotion. Well, I feel like depth
Speaker 1: through humor is my favorite conversation, and so I want
Speaker 1: to be deep. I want to go deep with someone,
Speaker 1: but we have to laugh about it, Like I laugh.
Speaker 1: I mean, things are serious and I'm not trying to
Speaker 1: negate the fact that sometimes things are not laugh worthy.
Speaker 1: And so I always tell my guests, I don't want
Speaker 1: you telling a story you're not ready to laugh about,
Speaker 1: because it is the process. When something happens that you
Speaker 1: that really hurts you, it's okay to let it hurt
Speaker 1: you for a while. I'm not seeing to completely ignore
Speaker 1: those feelings. I had all the feelings when I got
Speaker 1: stuck in the dress. I was just over it by
Speaker 1: the time my daughter got in the car, you know,
Speaker 1: but I was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe
Speaker 1: I've let myself get this heavy where you know this
Speaker 1: and that and oh, I just I used to love clothes.
Speaker 1: It used to be one of my favorite things. And
Speaker 1: now like, I'm really struggling there. Of course you're gonna
Speaker 1: fill all those things. But as soon as you're ready
Speaker 1: to share, and even maybe right before you're ready to
Speaker 1: laugh at it, if you talk to somebody you really trust,
Speaker 1: she'll show you how to laugh about it. And so
Speaker 1: I think having those those girlfriends who can easily see
Speaker 1: the humor and things, but you know they love you,
Speaker 1: so they're not laughing at you. They're just helping you
Speaker 1: laugh along with them about the situation. It's cool and
Speaker 1: it's just so it's just it's great. And you know,
Speaker 1: when I had a thing happened to me when I
Speaker 1: was a little girl. I haven't really thought about you're
Speaker 1: bringing this out. I went to a slumber party once
Speaker 1: when I was like seven years old, and I told
Speaker 1: a story and these were girls I didn't know very well.
Speaker 1: We just moved and I told a little story that
Speaker 1: I thought was funny crickets, And in that moment I thought,
Speaker 1: I'm not I guess I'm not funny. And I grew
Speaker 1: my whole life. I grew up saying I love to laugh,
Speaker 1: but I'm not funny. That I say that all the time.
Speaker 1: I always say I love to other people, but I'm
Speaker 1: not funny. Yeah, ridiculous. I've listened to you. But see,
Speaker 1: we we we sell our We sell ourselves as you know,
Speaker 1: this bill of goods that isn't maybe even necessarily true,
Speaker 1: but we internalize. It's like, if you can see the
Speaker 1: humor in a situation, you are funny. You don't have
Speaker 1: to come up with the material. Life gives you the material,
Speaker 1: you know. And that's what I finally, I finally realized,
Speaker 1: is that if I can just see the humor in
Speaker 1: something and try to share that genuinely with someone else,
Speaker 1: to to do, like I have a mutual laugh. That's
Speaker 1: what being funny is. It's but it's a vulnerable thing.
Speaker 1: And I don't try to be funny. I just love
Speaker 1: to laugh. So right, yeah, I think I think maybe
Speaker 1: what you're saying is you're not aiming to be funny,
Speaker 1: but you you're easy to laughter because you do love
Speaker 1: to see the humor in life. And that took me
Speaker 1: a while to figure out. So when you are seeing
Speaker 1: the humor in life, are you now trying to just
Speaker 1: catch funny moments and point them out? That how you
Speaker 1: do humor? Yeah, so this is this is my challenge
Speaker 1: to the listeners is start going through your day searching
Speaker 1: for nuggets that you can save to tell someone later
Speaker 1: to make themselves feel better about themselves. Okay, give me
Speaker 1: an example of day. Yeah, okay, so one day I
Speaker 1: was going into the UPS store. I like to do
Speaker 1: a lot of shopping online, especially now that we are
Speaker 1: living in nowhere and so there therefore you're at the
Speaker 1: UPS store a lot returning stuff, right because I had
Speaker 1: a stylists tell me once, if you're not returning the
Speaker 1: stuff you're buying and you're keeping stuff that doesn't fit.
Speaker 1: So anyway, at the UPS store, and I drive this
Speaker 1: silver suv. It's like this generic momobile, right. So I
Speaker 1: come out of the store. I opened the door in
Speaker 1: my car and I cheek in to go sit in,
Speaker 1: and I suddenly realized I'm sitting on a man's lap,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm so sorry. That's gonna hurt ears.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry you might have to, but I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, I'm so sorry. I'm saw look my cars are,
Speaker 1: and I'm like trying to make him turn your head
Speaker 1: and look, I swear to you my car is right there,
Speaker 1: and it's the same kind of car, same color, sing everything. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I file that away. Then, uh, several months later,
Speaker 1: my daughter is in a musical theater production. I'm we
Speaker 1: here in Missola. We have this outdoor ice cream place
Speaker 1: called the Big Dipper, and it's close to the theater.
Speaker 1: So a lot of times after they do their show,
Speaker 1: they'll the cast I want to go get ice cream
Speaker 1: and sort of sit outside and mill around. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: an introvert and I'm done for the day. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: that's fine, honey, you just do that and I'll sit
Speaker 1: in the car and wait, which I'm perfectly happy with.
Speaker 1: I'm listening to podcasts. I'm having a ball, and um,
Speaker 1: I see a couple of the cast members kind of
Speaker 1: walk by, and these are like anywhere from teenagers to
Speaker 1: adults and everything in between. This group was the young
Speaker 1: adult and this I see him walking by, and then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, my passenger seat my door opens
Speaker 1: over here, but I can see my daughter over there,
Speaker 1: so I know she's I know she's not ready. And
Speaker 1: this kid starts climbing in my car and we make
Speaker 1: eye contact with each other, and he's like oh, and
Speaker 1: he shuts the door and he starts running, and I'm like, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna let him ashamed of this or feel
Speaker 1: bad anyway. So I burst open the door and I'm
Speaker 1: like wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, it's not as bad
Speaker 1: as the time I sat and the guy slapped outside
Speaker 1: of the ups store. So they came back and we're
Speaker 1: like laughing about this and where I could just see
Speaker 1: the tension drain from his body and yeah, and later
Speaker 1: my daughter's And at the time I didn't even tell
Speaker 1: my daughter because I thought I'm not gonna that kid
Speaker 1: was obviously very embarrassed, you know, if that wouldn't even
Speaker 1: embarrass some people, but that kid I could tell was
Speaker 1: kind of anxious and upset, kind of a kid and just, um,
Speaker 1: not super comfortable in his own skin. Oh what like
Speaker 1: I was that that you know totally maybe that old,
Speaker 1: but yeah, So anyway, I was like, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: tell Bailey because um, it's not her business honestly to
Speaker 1: know to know this. I trust my daughter, but I
Speaker 1: tried to model not gossiping to my kids. So anyway,
Speaker 1: I hadn't told her. Well anyway, several weeks later, they
Speaker 1: got into this conversation and he realized that she was
Speaker 1: my daughter, and he goes, your mom is one of
Speaker 1: the coolest people I've ever met. That was so sweet
Speaker 1: of her. She leapt out of her car, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I just didn't want I'm feeling bad. I'm like the
Speaker 1: mama bear kicked in and I was like, I'm not
Speaker 1: letting that boy walk away feeling bad about this, you know.
Speaker 1: So that's that's a perfect concrete example of how you know,
Speaker 1: I could have just died. I practically sat on a
Speaker 1: man's lap straight and he wasn't even that nice about it.
Speaker 1: I think he was just shocked. I don't blame him. Right.
Speaker 1: I could have just been like, I hate myself, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go and bury myself in a hole. But it's
Speaker 1: you know, I did feel a little bad about it
Speaker 1: for all my hearts pounding, whatever, But later I was
Speaker 1: able to use that nugget as a gift to the
Speaker 1: boy who almost climbed in the back of my car. So,
Speaker 1: you know, not only do do do I love to
Speaker 1: reach back in my memory banks and laugh about my
Speaker 1: stories and your stories and anybody's stories who anybody who
Speaker 1: will share their stories with me. That's a really wonderful gift.
Speaker 1: But the deeper gift is that I can then use
Speaker 1: that to make someone else feel not so alone. And wow,
Speaker 1: I just I just love it. It's just so much fun.
Speaker 1: So my challenge to your listeners is to go about
Speaker 1: your life noticing your foibles and as soon as you're
Speaker 1: ready to laugh about it. Foibles f o I b
Speaker 1: l S. I think it's an old lady word. I
Speaker 1: think what is it mean? When I was watching, it
Speaker 1: just means like you're foibles is like mistakes, you're not
Speaker 1: so fancy moments. Basically, I think I might be using
Speaker 1: it wrong. I don't know, but anyway, notice notice the
Speaker 1: things that you do that you're not that are not
Speaker 1: so fancy in the moment, and as soon as you're
Speaker 1: ready to laugh about it, tell someone about it, and
Speaker 1: I bet you anything, it will remind them of something
Speaker 1: that they did and it just creates this ripple effect
Speaker 1: of joy and you don't have to I mean, you
Speaker 1: can save it, like I didn't necessarily save this sitting
Speaker 1: on the guy's lap in the ups store for that
Speaker 1: particular moment. But it's just I think because I was
Speaker 1: in the mindset of noticing these funny things and then
Speaker 1: being ready to whip them out when I need to,
Speaker 1: that I had that ready to go. So and you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know anything about Angiograham the number,
Speaker 1: So I'm a two taker, Yeah, exactly. So I feel
Speaker 1: like maybe that's why this has resonated so strongly with me,
Speaker 1: because it's like, even as an introvert, I like, I know,
Speaker 1: people don't really think I come off that way, but
Speaker 1: I am. But it's the helper in me to want
Speaker 1: so badly to create comfort and to make everybody feel
Speaker 1: comfortable in a situation, and to help anybody who might
Speaker 1: be sort of on the fringe, to to pull him
Speaker 1: into into relation that that I that I just love
Speaker 1: this so that yeah, I I just feel like it's
Speaker 1: a it's the caretaking part of me that has latched
Speaker 1: onto this um concept and it's just so much fun. Well,
Speaker 1: you really actually totally opened my mind up to to
Speaker 1: a new concept, to this concept which I hadn't even
Speaker 1: thought about as humor as like therapy. Like I knew
Speaker 1: humor made you feel so good and I love to laugh,
Speaker 1: but like I hadn't really thought of it so intentionally
Speaker 1: like you are thinking of it. You know. It's like
Speaker 1: I always thought, oh, yeah, humor is so fun, but
Speaker 1: I kind of take it lightly. But actually humor is
Speaker 1: a saving grace. It really can really help people, Like
Speaker 1: like with that boy that got in your car, he
Speaker 1: could have been so embarrassed and that could have been
Speaker 1: something that he carried around him like you did when
Speaker 1: you were seven, that you're not funny. What if that
Speaker 1: was a moment that he would have carried around with
Speaker 1: him forever of embarrassment that he shamed himself over when
Speaker 1: really giving him some humor allowed him to release it.
Speaker 1: And I mean, I'm not saying it changes the whole
Speaker 1: course of someone's life. But it actually really can be
Speaker 1: a medicine and a cure and would be yeah, it
Speaker 1: can be a lifeline. You never you're walking around this
Speaker 1: world you have there's no way we can tell who
Speaker 1: needs a lifeline. Some people can be right on the edge,
Speaker 1: and you just never know when you might toss out
Speaker 1: a little lifeline that they might grab onto you and
Speaker 1: you'll just go about your day. You won't know. But
Speaker 1: a little kindness, a little humor, a little yeah, me too,
Speaker 1: a little eye contact, Hey, how you doing. It's things
Speaker 1: like that that I think can push someone just ever
Speaker 1: so slightly into the moving in the other direction to
Speaker 1: where it could have a ripple of like the butterfly effect,
Speaker 1: it could have a big impact in their life. So
Speaker 1: you just never know, And I think that is an
Speaker 1: easy gift to give each other. I love that brain chemistry.
Speaker 1: I mean, think about brain chemistry. When we laugh with
Speaker 1: each other, we are producing brain chemicals that are like
Speaker 1: the same chemicals that we produced when we're bonding with
Speaker 1: our baby or you know what I mean. So it's
Speaker 1: and I don't know all the biochemistry behind it, which
Speaker 1: actually I should look into because I would find that
Speaker 1: very fascinating. But I haven't yet, but yeah, so man,
Speaker 1: you're you're giving me out, You're bringing out all this stuff.
Speaker 1: This is really interesting. You're good at this. What's your
Speaker 1: Instagram number? I'm I'm a four, So I am like
Speaker 1: a romantic and individualist, like I'm a creator, cre native
Speaker 1: and so like I lov being it four because I'm
Speaker 1: always thinking creatively and um but gosh, the depth that
Speaker 1: I feel, it's you think deeply. Authenticity is so important
Speaker 1: to you, yeah, I hear, yeah, yeah. The way I
Speaker 1: exhausted myself as a two. Yeah, well, and you have
Speaker 1: sometimes you just have to go wack your wounds and
Speaker 1: be by yourself and not worry about things for a
Speaker 1: couple of days. But the way I exhaust myself is
Speaker 1: I feel everyone's feelings so hard. Like the other day,
Speaker 1: I walked into the garage and my husband was like,
Speaker 1: o hey, and I was like, are we mad at me?
Speaker 1: I mean, like, that's how hard I feel other people's feelings.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, good lord, Joe, And that's ridiculous, you know.
Speaker 1: But there are I mean, there are pluses and minuses
Speaker 1: to each personality type. And I can see how being
Speaker 1: a four would be so exhausting because you are just
Speaker 1: deep into it, for you're deep into and wanting to
Speaker 1: make meaning out of it and wanting to be athic
Speaker 1: but also the visual and wanting to make sure you
Speaker 1: will allow space for everyone else to do that as well.
Speaker 1: And yeah, well, and sometimes I'll just go down a
Speaker 1: rabbit hole and I'll just spiral so deeply that I
Speaker 1: feel like I feel the weight of the whole world.
Speaker 1: I'll create whole situations for people, and I'll like create
Speaker 1: the pain they're going through, and then I'll sit in
Speaker 1: their story that I make up in my mind based
Speaker 1: on like pieces that I've put together from seeing them
Speaker 1: and whatever some social media platform or TV or news
Speaker 1: or whatever, or briefly hearing their story. I'll create a
Speaker 1: whole scenario of their life and I will just feel
Speaker 1: the pain all the way to the when they were
Speaker 1: born as a child, walk through it, when they were
Speaker 1: growing up, with where they weren't nurtured, where they were
Speaker 1: like like all the things that I'm like, I am
Speaker 1: making this up. I don't know what they are going through,
Speaker 1: and I am absolutely crushing my own spirit because I
Speaker 1: am so worried that this person isn't fulfilling their destiny
Speaker 1: and being loved and being seen for who they are,
Speaker 1: and I need to help them be seen so they
Speaker 1: can flourish and find their purpose. And then I'm like, Caroline,
Speaker 1: it is not my job to save the whole world.
Speaker 1: Like I can't. It's too exhausting. I don't know everyone needs.
Speaker 1: Like it's a very Egoyes told me to think that
Speaker 1: I know what everyone needs. That is so interesting. Susanne
Speaker 1: Stabield as aniagram teaching and she's a too as well.
Speaker 1: But I think this thing she says to herself might
Speaker 1: be helpful for you because she's a helper and a
Speaker 1: fix her and she she says, She'll and I do
Speaker 1: the same thing. She'll sit in restaurants and she'll hear
Speaker 1: snippets of stories, and all of a sudden she's like,
Speaker 1: I gotta help these people. But what she says to
Speaker 1: herself is, Suzanne, is this yours to do? And you
Speaker 1: might even you might even say to yourself, Caroline, is
Speaker 1: this year's to know? Is this? Is this your your
Speaker 1: mystery to solve? Because we I do the same thing.
Speaker 1: I make stories up about people, I fill in the blanks.
Speaker 1: I I go worst case scenario, which maybe is partly
Speaker 1: my medical training and I think, oh my gosh, I
Speaker 1: need to help this person or that person, or I
Speaker 1: need to like involve myself in the situation. And I've
Speaker 1: had to really step back, especially being a mom of teenagers,
Speaker 1: because it's not mine to do. They have to figure
Speaker 1: these things out for themselves. And the pain that I
Speaker 1: perceive some of my kid's friends to be in hurts
Speaker 1: me so deeply. But unless I have something specific on
Speaker 1: which I should intervene, it just doesn't mind to do.
Speaker 1: I'm like, honey, if that kid needs some mom and
Speaker 1: you bring him right over and I'll take him to
Speaker 1: you know, take him to my bosom. But but you know,
Speaker 1: if they don't open themselves up to that, then it
Speaker 1: is not mine to do. But so you really have
Speaker 1: to catch yourself. Yeah, it's but it's hard because we
Speaker 1: we feel man. Man, I know it's a blessing and
Speaker 1: its occurs, and but you know what, just like you
Speaker 1: are saying, you have to create boundaries with it. And
Speaker 1: that is what I'm really realizing my life. And I'm
Speaker 1: so glad that you have flowed into my life because
Speaker 1: truly you are giving me a perspective right now of humor.
Speaker 1: It's such an important thing. Tell me what you said again.
Speaker 1: And you want depth with humor? What is your your
Speaker 1: your your tagline about Yeah, so, um, humor through depth
Speaker 1: or depth through humor, I say it back and forth
Speaker 1: is my favorite conversation. So laughter through tears was her
Speaker 1: favorite emotion. Depth through humor is my favorite conversation. So
Speaker 1: that is I love. I'm really inspired by you. I'm
Speaker 1: going to try to start incorporating some more humor into
Speaker 1: my conversations because that is a healing gift. Like you said,
Speaker 1: it's a gift to to find some humor in that way.
Speaker 1: And it doesn't have to nervous, it doesn't see I
Speaker 1: think we assume if we're laughing, we're not going deep
Speaker 1: or that we're like regarding their pain or something. Yes, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: and and so, but it does and have to be
Speaker 1: that way. We can have these deep conversations, we can
Speaker 1: see the humor in them and we can connect that way.
Speaker 1: And um, yeah, it's just you can ask. It's such
Speaker 1: a good icebreaker. You can ask somebody and and you
Speaker 1: you might want to give them heads up. And it's
Speaker 1: not something that's very easy to answer off the cuff,
Speaker 1: like what is your most embarrassing moment? Because I swear
Speaker 1: to you, every time I have a guest, they tell
Speaker 1: me a story I think about that I've forgotten all about.
Speaker 1: Like just earlier today, I remembered about the time that
Speaker 1: I was in a ben breakfast with my husband and I,
Speaker 1: you know, we're getting all romantic, and I reached my
Speaker 1: foot down and I feel something and I pull out
Speaker 1: these dirty, tidy whities that I'm just like. Um. That
Speaker 1: was only embarrassing because then it caused a fight with
Speaker 1: my husband and I called the proprietor of the place
Speaker 1: and complained and everything. So anyway, that's not my fineness hour.
Speaker 1: But I had not thought about that story in so long,
Speaker 1: and so I talked to my niece. I interviewed her
Speaker 1: early on the podcast, and she goes, she was a visiting.
Speaker 1: She goes, I don't know aunt too, and she's in
Speaker 1: early twenties. I don't know if I have any stories. Well,
Speaker 1: she had some time she sat down in an airport.
Speaker 1: Her list was two pages long in her phone by
Speaker 1: the time we did the interview. So these things don't
Speaker 1: come up easily because our defense mechanism is to forget
Speaker 1: them and smush them down. But if we can kind
Speaker 1: of bring them out. It's it's not only a gift
Speaker 1: to ourselves because that's funny. I mean, those things are funny.
Speaker 1: We laugh about him brings joy, but then it just
Speaker 1: brings so much joy to each other. And such a
Speaker 1: good ice speaker. So yeah, if you ever, if you
Speaker 1: ever give like preparatory questions for interviews, that would be one.
Speaker 1: I think for somebody to bring you a nugget like
Speaker 1: that and you could you know, if you start off
Speaker 1: talking like that, it just the conversation just flows and
Speaker 1: you just realize you're connecting on a deeper level, even
Speaker 1: with with laughter. So yeah, I love that. Okay, So
Speaker 1: I want to briefly talk to you since you are
Speaker 1: a physician. We are in this really weird time, like
Speaker 1: the coronavirus is hitting the entire world and everyone has
Speaker 1: a lot of fear. There's a lot of confusion. So
Speaker 1: much of our economy is shut down right out. Parents
Speaker 1: are worried about their kids, even though kids aren't supposedly
Speaker 1: contracting it easily at all. Um, what is give us
Speaker 1: some physicians advice on how to walk through this, especially
Speaker 1: as parents with children, Like how how do you do? What? Does?
Speaker 1: Some just give us some advice. Yeah, I was born
Speaker 1: a germaphobe. When my kids were young and we'd go
Speaker 1: into public restrooms, I'd be like, heyn did the air
Speaker 1: head there. Um, So I think it's really important to
Speaker 1: teach your kids where the dirty places are in public
Speaker 1: places without killing their joy. And I've had to really
Speaker 1: find that balance as a physician and mom. We the
Speaker 1: very first time we went to Disneyland. I ruined the
Speaker 1: first day because every time one of my kids touched
Speaker 1: a hand rall, I was like, So I realized that,
Speaker 1: you know, we can strike more fear than as healthy kids.
Speaker 1: And so I think teaching just general good basic personal
Speaker 1: hygiene is very important. Um. The whole not touch in
Speaker 1: your face thing is pretty new and it is brilliant.
Speaker 1: I think that's really gonna if we can ingrind that
Speaker 1: in our case, it's really gonna change things. Um. But too,
Speaker 1: I feel like we need to put care in front
Speaker 1: of fear, and we need to put faith in front
Speaker 1: of fear. So that's not as much coming from the
Speaker 1: doctor part of me as the faithful part of spiritual
Speaker 1: part of me. But I feel like, of course we
Speaker 1: need to be careful, and of course we need to
Speaker 1: follow guidelines, but sitting inside your home reading every single
Speaker 1: negative story you can get your hands on and letting
Speaker 1: your anxiety spiral out of controls helping no one. So
Speaker 1: if you're somebody who loves all the information and needs
Speaker 1: that to feel okay, that's okay. If you're somebody who
Speaker 1: spirals with anxiety, give yourself a time limit. You will
Speaker 1: look at news for five minutes a day. You want
Speaker 1: to stay informed, but you do not want to wallow.
Speaker 1: Stay home when you can. If you have to go
Speaker 1: to the market, just stay away from people. Don't touch
Speaker 1: your face as soon as you can. Wash your hands
Speaker 1: with warm water if you when you get my husband
Speaker 1: and I even will just take a um. We take
Speaker 1: a disinfectant wipe in the store with us. We use
Speaker 1: it to open the door, we use it to wipe
Speaker 1: down the car, and then we have it so we
Speaker 1: can clean our hands, and then when we get back
Speaker 1: to the car do hand sanitizer. When we get home,
Speaker 1: we wash with hot, hot water and soap. So I
Speaker 1: feel like you know, there are always people on either
Speaker 1: end of the spectrum. There are the cavalier cowboys think
Speaker 1: nothing's gonna hurt me, and then there are the people
Speaker 1: who are so wallowed down in their fear that they're crippled.
Speaker 1: Neither neither extreme is good. So keep you know, bess,
Speaker 1: be careful and be safe and follow guidelines, but don't
Speaker 1: let yourself spiral into fear. And help your neighbor. I
Speaker 1: think that we can all like, I know one of
Speaker 1: your neighbors has toilet paper. I know one of your
Speaker 1: neighbors has eggs. You know, I know you probably have
Speaker 1: a neighborhood needs to be checked on. We um we
Speaker 1: live out in the country, so we only can see
Speaker 1: two houses from where we live. But one of our
Speaker 1: neighbors is a widow and he or a widower. And
Speaker 1: my husband called them before we went to the grocery
Speaker 1: store last time, and he's he's totally functional and independent.
Speaker 1: He's a great guy, and he needn't he didn't need anything.
Speaker 1: He said, he was good. But then his granddaughter friended
Speaker 1: me on Facebook just so she could send me a
Speaker 1: thank you message, thank you for checking on my grandpa.
Speaker 1: So I feel like this is a very unifying time
Speaker 1: for us. If we can some of us will fall ill. Yes,
Speaker 1: there's nothing we can do to prevent. There's nothing we
Speaker 1: can do to prevent further people from falling ill. It's
Speaker 1: gonna happen. The ball is already rolling in our country.
Speaker 1: We can help each other, we can bond together, we
Speaker 1: can be careful, we can be cautious, and we cannot
Speaker 1: let ourselves spiral into fear. That is really great advice.
Speaker 1: That's really great advice. That's really great advice because it
Speaker 1: is like I was not expecting. I wasn't expecting you
Speaker 1: to ask medical advice. So I'm like, oh, here's the thing.
Speaker 1: It's so funny though. I recorded a podcast episode about
Speaker 1: the coronavirus and COVID nineteen and I totally did it
Speaker 1: from my faith perspective, and um, you know, being able
Speaker 1: to put faith in front of fear as I'm a
Speaker 1: very very anxious person by nature, and I just think
Speaker 1: it's a miracle that I can even function right now,
Speaker 1: and it's because of my faith. But but I told
Speaker 1: my mom, oh, yeah, I recorded a special episode about
Speaker 1: the coronavirus, and she says, yeah, because you you know,
Speaker 1: you actually are an authority on medical things. And I go,
Speaker 1: you know what, mom, The thing is, this is new
Speaker 1: to all of us. I'm not an authority. There aren't
Speaker 1: authorities right now, we're learning as we go, so it's
Speaker 1: really hard to say medically exactly what's going to happen.
Speaker 1: What did you What were some of the highlights of
Speaker 1: the podcast that you did on the coronavirus? Well, my
Speaker 1: I read the lyrics from a song called what If
Speaker 1: by Nicole Noordaman, and she basically wrote it as an
Speaker 1: apology to a friend in college that she always argued
Speaker 1: with about is there a God? Because she was coming
Speaker 1: from a biblical worldview and he was coming from an
Speaker 1: atheist worldview, and her song was basically an apology saying,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm so sorry. I tried to cramp
Speaker 1: that down your throat. I can see things from your perspective,
Speaker 1: but can you just consider what if? So what I
Speaker 1: really said in my podcast For the people who think
Speaker 1: that I'm completely bonkers to think there's a God and
Speaker 1: I'm going to heaven when I die, That's okay. I
Speaker 1: get that I'm a very intellectual person sometimes, um, but
Speaker 1: what if you're wrong? What if there is a God?
Speaker 1: What if you were made with a purpose and on
Speaker 1: purpose and with love and painstakingly by a creator who
Speaker 1: loves you and can't wait to be in relationship with
Speaker 1: you once your time on this earth is done, and
Speaker 1: even you know from now on if you if you
Speaker 1: allow it. And so basically I just said, here are
Speaker 1: some resources if you want to start thinking about this
Speaker 1: in your life. Here are some places to start, because
Speaker 1: I have people in my life that are on all
Speaker 1: ends of the spectrum. My dad was basically agnostic slash
Speaker 1: atheist the whole time I was growing up. My mom
Speaker 1: was Christian. My sister and I were raised Christian, but
Speaker 1: we we were raised just basically to love and respect
Speaker 1: people no matter where they're coming from. I can't judge
Speaker 1: your compass. You can't judge my compass. My compass is
Speaker 1: the Bible. I don't know what your compass is. Sometimes
Speaker 1: I don't read my compass very well. Sometimes I lose it,
Speaker 1: I drop it, I let it break, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. And so we're all just doing the best
Speaker 1: we can. But I am convinced that the Biblical worldview
Speaker 1: is the right world view, and there's so much hope
Speaker 1: in that. So I just wanted to give that to people,
Speaker 1: even though it's very outside of my comfort zone. I
Speaker 1: like to just I like to go deep and I
Speaker 1: like to laugh, but I don't we don't tend to
Speaker 1: usually talk about faith on my podcast. We talk about
Speaker 1: things that are sort of affecting us day to day
Speaker 1: on in emotional intellectual ways. But faith is a hard
Speaker 1: one because people really feel strongly about it, and you
Speaker 1: kind of if you don't know where someone's coming from.
Speaker 1: I don't want to offend and I don't want to
Speaker 1: turn someone off because if you just think I'm bonkers
Speaker 1: and and I completely convince you that you're right, that
Speaker 1: this is, you know, fruitless, then that's a disservice and
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that. So how did you
Speaker 1: tie that into the virus situation? Okay, because um, I
Speaker 1: met a young man who was going through some depression
Speaker 1: a couple of days ago, and we did not get
Speaker 1: to talk very long. We're talking briefly, and he told
Speaker 1: me I am terrified to die. And that's what he's
Speaker 1: taking away from this situation right now with this virus.
Speaker 1: He's in his thirties, he's a you know, a healthy guy,
Speaker 1: and he is shaking in his boots terrified. And that
Speaker 1: I can't tell you is you're not going to die
Speaker 1: of COVID n T. You probably won't. Like statistics are
Speaker 1: basically I mean, you guys, this is it's scary, and
Speaker 1: it's new every and everything. But if we you know,
Speaker 1: perspective wise and numbers wise, we're none of us are
Speaker 1: at very high risk. Um. But what I what I
Speaker 1: saw was the desperation in him that he doesn't know
Speaker 1: what happens after he dies. Therefore he's terrified. And I thought,
Speaker 1: I want people to know that I have for me,
Speaker 1: I haven't figured out, and I just wanted to give
Speaker 1: people resources to start looking into it themselves. Right now,
Speaker 1: while we all have more time at home, we have
Speaker 1: time to reflect. It's a really good time to look
Speaker 1: into it. You know, what do you think about eternity?
Speaker 1: What do you think about life after death? What do
Speaker 1: you think about God? Where do you think we came from?
Speaker 1: And there are resources and and we can start to
Speaker 1: kind of look into that and start to kind of
Speaker 1: educate ourselves and start to really kind of look into
Speaker 1: what we think. Because I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: will say, yeah, I believe there's a God between they
Speaker 1: never really look into it more deeply than that. And
Speaker 1: it's time now to look into it more deeply, I feel,
Speaker 1: because I feel like the more sure we are about
Speaker 1: our our life after death that more abundantly we can
Speaker 1: live our life here on earth because it frees us
Speaker 1: from so much anxiety. So that's how I into and
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that you started off by saying, like,
Speaker 1: I can totally see your perspective, but maybe there's another perspective,
Speaker 1: and I I walk that same line, like I will
Speaker 1: not the same one as you. We all have our
Speaker 1: own personal faith, but like I'm very spiritual, I'm very
Speaker 1: connected to God, but I also love to have my
Speaker 1: hands held open for everyone. I think it's just so
Speaker 1: important that you find your own way with God. And like,
Speaker 1: however you find that connection for me, I'm like, just
Speaker 1: for your own set self and your own peace of mind.
Speaker 1: Like you say, if you can find the connection with
Speaker 1: this higher power, this bigger source of love, it really
Speaker 1: does free you up from so much anxiety and fear
Speaker 1: on this earth. And I'm also like you, I have
Speaker 1: a ton of anxiety. The only way I get rid
Speaker 1: of my anxiety is when I am in constant prayer
Speaker 1: and walking with God and like feeling feeling that presence
Speaker 1: that there's something so much bigger happening here and God
Speaker 1: will use all of this for something good. Ultimately, and
Speaker 1: I have to believe that or else, especially now being
Speaker 1: a new mom, I it just I fall apart daily.
Speaker 1: If I don't keep God at the forefront of my mind.
Speaker 1: It's just too many things to worry about. Yeah. It's
Speaker 1: like when I was in residency, I thought, I freaking
Speaker 1: love my job. It's so fascinating. I get to help people,
Speaker 1: like get figure things out them. If you're on thirty medications, great,
Speaker 1: I'm so fascinating. I'm gonna figure it all out. And
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, when I was done with
Speaker 1: residency and I didn't have attending physicians in the buck
Speaker 1: stopped with me. I can't real scary, real fast for me.
Speaker 1: And I feel like that that's you're You're deciding what
Speaker 1: people's fate is in their health. Yeah, to check with Yeah,
Speaker 1: to prescribe on what to diagnose them would wow, that's
Speaker 1: a big responsibility. What to downplay and what to look into.
Speaker 1: And I would sit straight up in the middle of
Speaker 1: the night and think, oh my gosh, I didn't check
Speaker 1: this on that, this, that about this patient or whatever,
Speaker 1: and I'd freak out, you know, And I remember, um,
Speaker 1: right around nine eleven, that's how old I am. I
Speaker 1: was in the shower when I learned about the twin
Speaker 1: towers going down, and I was on my way to work,
Speaker 1: and I remember I had I had my little flip
Speaker 1: cell phone in my bathroom, and I was real worried
Speaker 1: about patient of mine and I I just looked up
Speaker 1: her phone number in the computer system and called her
Speaker 1: at home. Right then, I was like, that's it. I can't.
Speaker 1: I just can't handle all this worry and all this
Speaker 1: everything go not at once, and so I am. I
Speaker 1: feel like, if you think the buck stops with you
Speaker 1: on this earth, that's a lot of pressure. But knowing
Speaker 1: that the buck act actually doesn't stop with us, and
Speaker 1: that there is a bigger plan and that there is
Speaker 1: a you know, a God, and that there is a
Speaker 1: a loving God who's who's who's looking out for us
Speaker 1: and has a plan to me, that just alleviate's a
Speaker 1: lot of that buck stops with me anxiety. And I
Speaker 1: think that, um, yeah, we just we need that, we
Speaker 1: need that more than ever in this in this life.
Speaker 1: And like you said, it's going to look different for everyone.
Speaker 1: And I definitely don't want to be pushy, but um,
Speaker 1: what I really think people need to say is at
Speaker 1: least this, Hey, God, are you there? Like, if you're there,
Speaker 1: will you show me in a way that resonates with me.
Speaker 1: There's no harm in that, I swear, even if you're
Speaker 1: an atheist, even if you're dyeing in the wool atheist,
Speaker 1: there's no harm in saying that in your head to God.
Speaker 1: You know, there's just there's no downside to it. My
Speaker 1: my husband is now. Look, he's knocking on the window
Speaker 1: with my baby. He's sitting there knocking on the window
Speaker 1: with my baby saying mom, Mom, need milk, need milk. Okay,
Speaker 1: Joe and I have love chatting with you. I want
Speaker 1: you to quickly tell us where everyone can find you
Speaker 1: and tell me all of your links, your social media's,
Speaker 1: your new clothing line coming out. Tell me all that
Speaker 1: really fast, and to ask you one more question to
Speaker 1: wrap it up, Wrap it up, okay. You can find
Speaker 1: my podcast at Fancy Free Podcast dot com. My blog
Speaker 1: blog is Cozy Clothes Blog dot com, and my shop
Speaker 1: is Shelfy Shop s H E L f I E
Speaker 1: s H O P p E. We're still in production.
Speaker 1: You can see what my products are there, but you
Speaker 1: can't order yet, or if you do, it'll be back ordered. Um.
Speaker 1: On Instagram, I'm I've got dishues because I've always got
Speaker 1: a you know, stack of dishes in the sink. That's
Speaker 1: that's my personal Instagram. Then I also have a Fancy
Speaker 1: Free Podcast Instagram and a Shelfy shop. Cozy Clothes is
Speaker 1: my other Instagram. On Facebook, I have Fancy Free Podcast Facebook,
Speaker 1: a Shelfy Shop Facebook, and then I have a Facebook
Speaker 1: group called the Fancy Free Group where we can tell
Speaker 1: each other our embarrassing stories in the privacy of this
Speaker 1: little group. Um that those are the most the main
Speaker 1: places where you can find me. You've got a lot
Speaker 1: of outlets. Uh, it's I was just talking to somebody
Speaker 1: earlier today, like help me streamline this? This too much?
Speaker 1: I mean that's a lot. I like it all though. Okay,
Speaker 1: So the podcast is Fancy Free Podcast dot com. It is,
Speaker 1: and you can find that wherever podcasts are. Okay, So
Speaker 1: I wrap up with every person. UM, My final question
Speaker 1: is leave your light. What do you want people to know?
Speaker 1: I want people to know that you don't have to
Speaker 1: take life so seriously, that you can find humor in
Speaker 1: most things. That it is not trivial, but it can
Speaker 1: be life changing to just show your underbelly and share
Speaker 1: your humor with the world. I love that, Joanne, thank
Speaker 1: you for joining me. Fancy free podcast. Um, and this
Speaker 1: is airing tomorrow. Who awesome? Now you're so efficient? Well, Caroline,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for having me. This has been
Speaker 1: a joy. I feel like I could talk to you
Speaker 1: all day. I know me too. Okay, don't hang up.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna end this recording, but then, um, don't hang
Speaker 1: up yet. Okay, bye, Okay By