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Speaker 1: Two hopeless daters, one dating app that dares you to

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Speaker 1: swipe right.

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Speaker 2: The question is whose love life is more tragic? Battle

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Speaker 2: of the Tender Dates.

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Speaker 1: It is the dating game show that reminds every hopeful

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Speaker 1: lover you can't spell.

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Speaker 2: Marriage without eye rage.

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Speaker 1: Oh it's Battle of the Tender Days, where two of

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Speaker 1: our listeners go ahead to head to figure out whose

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Speaker 1: love life is the most tragic. Load over the rules

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Speaker 1: in just a second, but first let's meet today's contestants.

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Speaker 1: In this corner, he likes to hook up in his car,

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Speaker 1: but insists you both keep your seat belts on.

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Speaker 2: The entire time. Say hello to back seat Pete. Yoh,

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Speaker 2: no whiplash for you, Pete.

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Speaker 1: And in the other corner, his perfect date involves going

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Speaker 1: to a seven to eleven, splitting a slurpy, then going

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Speaker 1: lady in the tramp on an extra large beefstick. That's

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Speaker 1: why they call him slim Jim Tim.

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Speaker 2: Hey, what's that guy that sounds that bad? Just describe

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Speaker 2: Brooks dream days. But here's how the game works.

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Speaker 1: One contestant we'll start by telling one of their worst

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Speaker 1: date stories. The other will try and counter with a

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Speaker 1: nightmare story of their own, Going back and forth for

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Speaker 1: three rounds until we declaire winner.

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Speaker 2: Let's start it off with backseat Pete, go for it.

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Speaker 3: Okay. So I took my date to one of those

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Speaker 3: like old drive in movie theaters. We agreed ahead of

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Speaker 3: time that she had the better car for the movie.

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Speaker 2: Okay, But when.

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Speaker 3: We got there, somehow, while trying to park, she hit

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Speaker 3: three different vehicles.

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Speaker 4: Alexis is being mighty quiet right now, that's it.

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Speaker 2: I like that she hit two, and you were like,

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Speaker 2: you know what, keep going? Yeah, you got this.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, finally we did the leave.

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Speaker 2: I drove.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I only hit one car, that's all right, slim

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Speaker 1: Jim tim Well.

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Speaker 4: I went out with a girl who insisted that we

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Speaker 4: meet at home depot for our first date. I like

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Speaker 4: a date with an activity. Sure, I get there and

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Speaker 4: she texts me to meet her in the lumber area.

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Speaker 2: That's so forward.

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Speaker 4: Down. So I managed to find her and she's in

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Speaker 4: a very revealing outfit and a number of guys are

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Speaker 4: hitting on her trying to pick her up, and she

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Speaker 4: walks over to me with this big smile, and she says,

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Speaker 4: are you jealous yet? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Did you see all the suburban dads who want this?

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Speaker 2: All right? That means, Pete, you got to step it up.

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Speaker 2: We're back to you.

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Speaker 3: So halfway through dinner, I was telling the story to

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Speaker 3: my date when she said, wait, my therapist is gonna

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Speaker 3: love this. Oh and then she started voice recording.

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Speaker 2: Mid date.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, I mean she's trying to get you a

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Speaker 1: free therapy.

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Speaker 3: So she like turns the phone towards me and goes, wait,

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Speaker 3: can you just repeat what you just said?

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Speaker 2: She wants her therapist to know about you. That must

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Speaker 2: mean she's into you. Broken one, Yeah, all right, him,

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Speaker 2: time to punch back.

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Speaker 4: I met up with this really cute girl at a bar,

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Speaker 4: and a few minutes in she tells me that she

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Speaker 4: only dates men who are taller than her ex. Oh okay,

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Speaker 4: all right, I'm like, how tall is he? Right? That's

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Speaker 4: when she takes me by the arm over to the

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Speaker 4: bartender and says, this is him.

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Speaker 2: She still hangs out there.

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Speaker 4: He had me, no joke, stand back.

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Speaker 2: To back, cringe and who was taller?

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Speaker 3: It's taller.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like she's totally over him.

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Speaker 3: Though, yeah, yeah, clearly not.

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Speaker 4: And then the barts like dude, I'm so sorry, and

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Speaker 4: he ended up giving me a free drink.

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Speaker 2: Actually, yeah, he's a cool guy.

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Speaker 4: I think he knew what.

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Speaker 2: Was up clearly.

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Speaker 1: All Right, we're on to the third and final round,

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Speaker 1: so we need your best stories here, gentlemen.

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Speaker 2: So backseat, Pete hit us with it. Okay.

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Speaker 3: So a girl invited me over to her house to

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Speaker 3: watch a movie and get takeout. Asked if I could

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Speaker 3: grab in and out on the way over.

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Speaker 2: Oh style, let's go.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So I did, and I went into a really

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Speaker 3: long drive through line like hey, sorry, it's taken forever.

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Speaker 3: I finally get to her place. I ring the doorbell,

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Speaker 3: nothing what. Then she texts me She's like, hey, I

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Speaker 3: want to play a game. So I'm like okay, and

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Speaker 3: she instructs me to leave the food by the front door. Okay,

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Speaker 3: and then she tells me to go stand by my car,

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Speaker 3: so I do. Then I see her open the door,

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Speaker 3: take the food, shut up the porch light, and then

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Speaker 3: she blocks me on text.

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Speaker 1: Oh you figure out a delivery driver house.

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Speaker 2: So do you win the game or does she win

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Speaker 2: the game? I can't tell.

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Speaker 1: I think he's the loser.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well I will say.

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Speaker 3: She did leave me a five dollars tip and her

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Speaker 3: welcome you win.

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Speaker 2: That's pretty nice if you don't get the in and out.

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Speaker 2: All right, sling, Jim, Tim, this is your last shot.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. So I met this girl on Tinder and in

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Speaker 4: her bio she said one of her favorite things to

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Speaker 4: do is go shopping. So I took her to a

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Speaker 4: farmer's market.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's a classic for a.

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Speaker 4: Day, because when girls say shopping they mean for vegetables.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta be specific.

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Speaker 4: So we met up and she doesn't look like she's

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Speaker 4: having fun. So I asked her. I was like, what's up?

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Speaker 4: And then she tells me she's sorry, but she doesn't

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Speaker 4: support local businesses. What she says, it's against her beliefs,

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Speaker 4: and she only shops at Amazon and Timu.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, all those mom and pop shops cutting in on

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Speaker 1: Amazon's profits.

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Speaker 2: It's not okay, I support billionaires. We heard the final

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Speaker 2: bell there.

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Speaker 1: That means the match is over, So judges, let's score

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Speaker 1: at Alexis.

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Speaker 2: Who are you giving it to?

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Speaker 1: I went Tim, because you were just too short compared

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Speaker 1: to the ax.

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Speaker 2: What you? I gotta say, Pete for the Uber driver.

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Speaker 2: We're all locked up here, so Jose, final choice is yours.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I think the therapist date was so cringe.

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Speaker 2: I gotta go with Pete.

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Speaker 1: I mean congratulations back seat, Pete, you are our screwed

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Speaker 1: dude of the wee.

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Speaker 2: How does it feel?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I doesn't get lower than them.

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Speaker 2: Who's sadly? I think it may Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, why did we get to the Championship Series? I

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Speaker 1: know we're having you back for another round soon, but

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Speaker 1: text in seven, eight, five, nine too if you want

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Speaker 1: to up here on the next edition of Battle of

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Speaker 1: the Tender dates we got your phones have coming up

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Speaker 1: right after this