WEBVTT - Ignite Asian Power (Constance Wu recap) 0:00:00.640 --> 0:00:03.200 Hey, y'all, Hey, what's up, and welcome to let's Red 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:06.960 Table bat. I'm Tracy t from and I'm Carl Pressley 0:00:07.120 --> 0:00:10.360 over here feeling successful. How are you feeling today about 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:14.080 today's episode, Tracy love you know what, let me say 0:00:14.080 --> 0:00:20.319 something to you. Today's episode. Okay, today's episode kind I 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:23.599 dare say it was beyond every day amazing. Today's episode 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:29.600 was phenomenal because we were able to learn so much. 0:00:30.000 --> 0:00:34.640 First of all, Constance Woo is a g she is 0:00:35.000 --> 0:00:40.680 super strong. She is is I mean, she's a trailblazer. 0:00:41.120 --> 0:00:45.199 She has taken the weight of the world and her 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:50.440 culture on her shoulders. Hello. And I just watching that episode, 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:54.800 I was a full spectrum of emotion. I was sad, 0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:59.240 I was angry, I was exhausted. I mean, you think 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:01.640 about it, it was all of that. It really was, 0:01:02.080 --> 0:01:05.440 because here's this woman who is just wanting to be 0:01:05.520 --> 0:01:09.679 an actor, she just wants to share her skill with 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:13.360 the world, and she has the burden of her whole 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:18.280 culture and community and they have no dang on idea 0:01:18.520 --> 0:01:23.200 what she was enduring silently, privately, painfully, and I just 0:01:23.560 --> 0:01:28.440 hearing it and seeing her, I mean virtually in tears. Yeah, 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:31.160 before she could get. I mean, it was like immediate. 0:01:31.840 --> 0:01:33.920 I just felt for her. This is why people don't 0:01:33.920 --> 0:01:36.240 explain what they're going through though, because they feel like 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:40.160 they have to to be understood or heard or listen to. 0:01:40.440 --> 0:01:43.000 And I mean, at the end of the day, I 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:46.000 appreciate her for sharing her story. I appreciate this episode. 0:01:46.120 --> 0:01:49.720 Like we definitely in society focus on like falling in 0:01:49.800 --> 0:01:52.280 love and having everything go your way and I be 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:56.200 ideal and baby. This season the Red Table Talk, we 0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:58.560 are talking about falling off, falling to the side. We 0:01:58.640 --> 0:02:03.920 are using new languages of alienation, estrangement, isolation. People are 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:07.240 going through things, and we've got to share these stories 0:02:07.280 --> 0:02:09.799 because and that's the real talk of it, right, No 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:13.280 one's real talk. Real talk. People need to see this, 0:02:13.520 --> 0:02:15.600 you know, the whole idea of suffering and silence needs 0:02:15.639 --> 0:02:17.840 to be over because if you can be a keyboard 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:22.560 cowboy and you know wrangeling people and you haven't even 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:25.360 seen them, you don't know them from Adam, you should 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:27.520 be able to watch a show like Red Tape Talk 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:30.960 and understand these are people. You're dealing with humans and 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:34.320 emotions and you don't know what that person is. Stop 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:37.080 stop it. If you can't say something positive, then you know, 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:38.960 maybe you don't need to say because you don't know. 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:41.679 You truly do not know what people are going through 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:44.600 out here. We are at the very beginning of fall, 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:46.520 headed into winter, and I don't know if you've heard 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:48.920 about it. People go through seasonal depression all the time, 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:52.000 and things like this are because why because they feel 0:02:52.040 --> 0:02:54.840 like they can't speak their truth. So I'm happy that 0:02:54.880 --> 0:02:57.320 she's speaking her truth and we are speaking ours, and 0:02:57.360 --> 0:02:59.760 we are gonna table all of this in this episode 0:02:59.800 --> 0:03:01.840 you on. One of the things I also love about 0:03:01.840 --> 0:03:04.800 this episode is that not only are we connected because 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:07.360 it's red table talking and let's red table there, but 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:10.919 you have a connection with Constance. Who do you listen? 0:03:11.520 --> 0:03:15.280 She is from Richmond, Virginia, I mean right here, in 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:18.400 the same city and state. We didn't go to the 0:03:18.400 --> 0:03:20.880 same high school, but we were in the same district. 0:03:21.280 --> 0:03:24.440 I mean, you guys literally were literally the same time. 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:26.800 She was born in eighty two, so was I. I 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:29.560 read and saw that her father taught at VCU, a 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:32.919 local college. That's why she was here. But she went 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:35.320 to Freeman. I went to Verona High School. Did you 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:38.080 guys ever compete? I do know for sure our football 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:41.800 team definitely beat hers. That's what I do know. You know, 0:03:42.280 --> 0:03:44.520 constant trying to talk about it. Let me know, but 0:03:44.840 --> 0:03:46.960 okay constantly. I don't think you need to let her 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:49.760 have that. We need some listen. I know, I know 0:03:49.880 --> 0:03:52.320 Varona High School definitely beat your tip. I'm gonna have 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:54.160 to look up the school. I'm gonna finding Constant. You 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:57.160 come out here and get cars. Listen, we have love 0:03:57.240 --> 0:03:59.960 for you. That was a yons ago, many many men 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:04.320 years ago. Now it's time to share what our online 0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:08.000 Red Table Talk community has to say about this episode. Carl, 0:04:08.040 --> 0:04:10.400 we had so many fantastic comments. You want to read 0:04:10.440 --> 0:04:14.600 the person I will. Michelle Miranda st. Clair said, I 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:17.600 come from the Asian community, and the community's response does 0:04:17.680 --> 0:04:20.279 not surprise me. So much is wrong with how we 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:25.280 blame the victim. Constance, Good for you for speaking about this. Yes, 0:04:25.320 --> 0:04:28.839 I appreciate that as well. I'm glad Constance decided to say, 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:32.599 let me just tell my story. Super important. That is 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:36.279 so important. And you know, we got another fantastic response 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:41.200 from Rocio Salazar and Roto. You said, I did not 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:45.080 know she went through so much pain and hurt. I 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:48.240 loved crazy rich Asians and fresh off the boat. I 0:04:48.279 --> 0:04:50.680 hope she continues to grow and I wish nothing but 0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:53.359 the best for her. Thank you so much for those 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:56.400 wonderfully loving comments. We need that, we need to send 0:04:56.400 --> 0:05:00.640 her light and love. Yes, we definitely agree. Another comment, Wow, 0:05:00.839 --> 0:05:04.159 she's a warrior. Thank you for sharing constance. It must 0:05:04.200 --> 0:05:07.240 have been terrifying facing so much hate and dealing with 0:05:07.279 --> 0:05:11.599 so much internal suffering. Protect your peace against all odds. 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:14.279 And the praying hands emoji and this is from Nikki 0:05:14.360 --> 0:05:18.800 Elizabeth Hobbs. Yes, Nick elizabeths Hodds, I am with you 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:21.600 with the praying hands. We also know that those hands 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:26.200 were supposed five. Yeah, we've just taken over. I thought 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:28.920 about that for we just made them praying hands, praying hands, 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:31.520 and high five all in that same comment. So fantastic. 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:35.200 We appreciate that comment too. And Melissa dar Pino says 0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:38.440 she kept apologizing for crying when there was no need to. 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:44.360 I'm over here balling for her all. Sometimes tears are necessary. 0:05:44.440 --> 0:05:48.400 I understand that the cathartic there's they're so you get 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:51.800 released from that purge of crying. So I get it. 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:54.000 I was crying with her, Melissa, you and me both 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:56.279 We're going to take a quick break, but when we 0:05:56.320 --> 0:05:59.679 get back, we will be joined by two incredible guests 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:10.040 from our Red Table Talk community, and today we're bringing 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:15.120 to fellow URTT community members to the virtual Red Table Listen. 0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:18.760 Alice Soy is a music teacher and social activists in 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:21.720 New York City who's in passion speech at a New 0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:25.520 York City Stop Asian hate rally went viral last year. 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:29.040 Alice started seeing her mental health as a priority only recently, 0:06:29.120 --> 0:06:31.599 in part because of the pandemic. I think like a 0:06:31.600 --> 0:06:34.560 lot of us, And she's here today to share about 0:06:34.560 --> 0:06:38.000 her mental health journey and the difference therapy has made 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:41.440 in her life. Thank you Alice for joining us today 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:45.880 or less Red Table that's yes, Thank you, Alice, Thank you. 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:50.839 Dr Jenny Wang is an author and licensed psychologists specialized 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:54.679 in helping her clients understand the impact of racial trauma 0:06:54.800 --> 0:06:58.919 and racial identity on their mental health. Her new book, 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:02.760 Permission to Come Home is a guide for Asian Americans 0:07:02.800 --> 0:07:06.520 as well as other marginalized people for prioritizing their mental 0:07:06.520 --> 0:07:10.240 health while understanding and honoring the richness of their heritage 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:14.760 and embodying a new, complete and whole identity. Welcome to 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:17.720 the virtual Red Table. Dr Jenny. I love that the 0:07:17.760 --> 0:07:21.120 whole identity. We need to make sure we have whole identities. 0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:23.200 Thank you for being here with us today, and thank 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:26.120 you both for having this time and sharing the space 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:30.160 with us. Yeah, We're gonna get into some conversations. I'm 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:39.600 excited about it. So let's get into it. It is 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:41.840 time for the part of the show where we reveal 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:45.440 which moments made us pause. I mean really rewind, stop 0:07:45.520 --> 0:07:48.840 and listen again and say, wait, what now? What was 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:53.240 that exactly? So let's talk about it. So Constance revealing 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:56.920 that she kept her on set harassment of secret because 0:07:56.920 --> 0:08:00.280 she didn't want to sully the reputation of Fresh off 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:04.040 the Boat or Asian Americans attached to the show. And 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:07.320 the thing that was most painful was he was so 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:13.320 derogatory and harassing towards me. But because this show was 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:16.000 sort of a beacon of representation for Asian Americans and 0:08:16.240 --> 0:08:20.600 I sort of became a symbol of representation, I didn't 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:23.760 want to sully the one show with sexual harassment claims 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:27.800 against the one Asian American Nair who was doing all 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:31.560 this better work for the community. Have you ever been 0:08:31.560 --> 0:08:33.839 in a situation like this where you felt like you 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:37.320 couldn't speak up because you valued the reputation of another 0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:40.400 person or a company over your pain. You know, I 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:45.560 think as women we are protectors. We are people who 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:50.480 want to shield others from pain, from harm, from a 0:08:50.600 --> 0:08:56.240 sully reputation. And I think that as Asian Americans, we 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:59.400 have watched our parents do that for us, right, They've 0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:03.520 protected at us, They've kept their mouth shut because it 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:07.520 could cost them a lot, could cost their livelihoods. And 0:09:07.559 --> 0:09:10.440 so I think that in many ways I was modeled 0:09:10.480 --> 0:09:14.000 that as a child, in being a child of immigrants, 0:09:14.120 --> 0:09:18.040 being Asian American, and being a daughter, I was taught 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:24.119 that you actually shouldn't speak up, you should actually swallow 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:29.480 the suffering because that actually was seen as a strength 0:09:30.000 --> 0:09:34.960 in our culture sometimes and being the strong person was 0:09:35.000 --> 0:09:39.360 at times more important than being the honest person. Oh 0:09:39.440 --> 0:09:42.000 that's powerful, Dr Jenny, Thank you for that too, because 0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:46.360 I'm as I'm like rethinking about it. It's like we 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:49.640 protect others, and then who protects us? Right? So, like 0:09:50.160 --> 0:09:52.760 where is the handoff? And then how can we both 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:57.080 be protected in this and honor our culture and honor 0:09:57.200 --> 0:09:59.880 how hard it was to get to this point Alice, 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:02.600 have you experienced anything like that at all? Yeah? I 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:06.320 actually was gonna see something very similar to Dr Jenny, 0:10:06.440 --> 0:10:12.319 because that idea of in Chinese culture swallowing bitterness should cool. 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:16.720 It means literally that you just take the pain and 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:20.319 you silence yourself. So even if I did want to 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:24.320 speak up for or to help my parents in moments 0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:27.240 where I felt that they were discriminated against, I didn't 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:31.680 know that I could just in my own parents eyes. 0:10:32.080 --> 0:10:36.120 And so with that being so pervasive in Asian American culture, 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:39.920 even though I am the oldest sibling, there's so much 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:44.120 that we are burdened with in a way that I 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:47.559 think can make that difficult. And having internalized that for 0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:50.520 so long, how can we then speak up? Right? Who 0:10:50.520 --> 0:10:53.560 are we speaking up for? If that is against everything 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:58.360 that we've learned? Right? The oxymoronic position of being in 0:10:58.400 --> 0:11:00.960 a land where you're taught to stand up for your 0:11:01.120 --> 0:11:05.560 rights and fight, and then culturally being taught not to 0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:12.439 do that is unbelievably complicated. Yeah. Willow pointed out that 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:17.040 the reaction to Constance's tweets wouldn't have been so visceral 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:21.480 if there were more sources of Asian American representation in 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:26.079 mainstream media. I feel like the reaction wouldn't have been 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:34.600 as visceral if there were more representation beforehand. I think 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:36.760 you hit it on the nose. I think it's because 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:41.119 it's because of the laugh there of people are like, oh, 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:48.280 this is all had. I personally would agree that it 0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:50.920 is really hard to be in such a position. I 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:54.240 can only imagine that Constance was in where there were 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:59.080 so many harsh reactions and actual named also within the 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:02.439 Asian American community. I feel that in my own experience 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:05.720 when I have spoken out personally, I received the most 0:12:06.360 --> 0:12:11.439 backlash from Asian American people and also to be specific, 0:12:11.559 --> 0:12:15.200 Asian American men who really really had a tough time 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:18.760 just with an Asian American woman speaking out. It's very 0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:22.640 much against what we in society have internalized about Asian 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:28.960 womain being obedient or soft spoken. These tropes and unfortunate norms, 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:34.400 I suppose that have continued over time. So I also 0:12:34.520 --> 0:12:39.840 wonder than what additional burdens that she had to carry 0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:42.960 that even though she was able to have this discourse 0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:46.440 with everyone, that we still are unaware of, and what 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:49.040 does she continue to carry and what is swallowed? What 0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:51.040 else is swallowed. What was the word that you used 0:12:51.080 --> 0:12:56.360 for swallow bitterness in Chinese? It's cool cool m h. 0:12:56.960 --> 0:13:01.400 You just silence yourself and you take it. Dr Jenny, 0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:05.559 we need to get a professional medical How does this 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:09.720 impact your medical health and well being? Absolutely when we 0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:15.160 think about the importance of voice in psychology, the importance 0:13:15.360 --> 0:13:18.800 of being able to self advocate, to even just speak 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:24.000 honestly about our experiences, and in many shapes and forms, 0:13:24.080 --> 0:13:29.400 that being prohibited because that might bring shame upon your culture, 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:32.920 your community, your family. And so that idea of too 0:13:33.040 --> 0:13:39.160 cool it comes from generational trauma because Asians in their 0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:45.920 homelands were subjected to colonialism, were subjected to occupation. Coming 0:13:45.920 --> 0:13:49.920 from Taiwan, my parents lived under martial law where if 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:52.640 you said anything, you could be taken away and you 0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:55.079 would disappear in the middle of the night. So think 0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:58.320 about what that means in terms of the psychology of 0:13:58.360 --> 0:14:03.240 people who live under a Russian for decades, and often 0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:07.000 as immigrants. We then come to a new country and 0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:10.319 it's still terrifying. You know, when my mother came here, 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:13.160 she couldn't speak English. So the thought of answering the 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:16.800 phone and having to say hello and then not knowing 0:14:16.840 --> 0:14:21.240 what that person was saying, not knowing if potentially our 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:25.000 visa was up, not knowing if your electricity was going 0:14:25.040 --> 0:14:27.720 to be cut off. Those were things where you're under 0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:30.880 a state of constant fear. And so I think that 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:37.640 fear also grips us as a community, a fear of invisibility. 0:14:37.680 --> 0:14:41.120 This was our chance, right and they said that in 0:14:41.160 --> 0:14:44.400 the in the interview, this was our one chance to 0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:49.360 really have some sort of representation and to not be grateful, 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:55.480 to not be willing to suck it up for our community. 0:14:56.080 --> 0:14:59.280 And that's the heartbreaking part of this is nobody knew 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:04.880 what she was going through. That part it's hard to 0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:08.840 put together the fact that this isn't just like people 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:12.040 minimizing what she's going through and ignoring her, like in 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:14.800 her circle of entertainment, or as people say, like being 0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:19.160 black bobbed, like the entire culture altogether just we're done 0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:21.360 with it. Bless her heart. Yeah, I wanted to know. 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:24.640 How do you think people would have reacted if they 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:27.360 had known what she was going through? I think the 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:31.040 optimistic side of me would have hoped that people could 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:35.560 offer her compassion and empathy and rallied behind her and said, 0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:39.840 my goodness, what you've had to subject yourself to in 0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:44.280 order to carry our community forward. But to be honest, 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:47.800 I think some people would have still criticized her, would 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:52.000 have still found ways to pull her down, And that 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:55.680 I think is the most heartbreaking part of all this. Right, Alice, 0:15:55.720 --> 0:15:57.960 you shared about how when you spoke up, people from 0:15:58.000 --> 0:16:01.520 our own community spoke out again to you. Right, and 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:04.800 I just I agree with you, and I think that 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:10.480 when we whenever we are a first in anything, first 0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:14.880 to be a representative, even if we don't necessarily see 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:20.040 ourselves in that light, they will inevitably be pressure that 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:23.960 is placed on us, pressure that we didn't call for ourselves. 0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:27.760 I even think back to moments of the rally when 0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:31.240 I was the first Asian American woman to speak at 0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:34.320 that event, when you looked at my face and shot 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:38.240 away from my games. People were terrified of my nesk 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:41.880 and two eyes used to regard me by my Asian persuasion. 0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:44.240 I reminded us that we're all part of one nation. 0:16:45.640 --> 0:16:48.520 We're sprunting animositys and the black eyed peace. Can I 0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:54.400 have some peace with my black eyes? Please? I think 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:59.160 about forty plus minutes had passed by with no female speaker, 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:02.040 to a point where the people at the front started 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:05.800 to get very I would describe anxious, starting to ask, 0:17:05.960 --> 0:17:08.879 when will we hear a female voice? When we really 0:17:08.960 --> 0:17:12.000 hear a female Asian American voice. It almost gave me 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:15.320 additional pressure that, oh, I must honor this moment in 0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:19.080 a way that is beyond me, and that's really hard 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:24.920 for anyone to shoulder. How did you manage it? I 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:29.120 I knew that my voice is important, and even though 0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:32.880 it wasn't something that I always was taught or internalized 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:36.440 as a kid, through my work as an educator, through 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:40.800 my work and being with students with youth and hearing 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:45.200 how students can share not only that their voice is important, 0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:48.359 that their voice can bring them joy, can bring them hope, 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:51.880 can bring them justice. That has really personally inspired me 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:55.679 to share my voice. More so, I credit that really 0:17:55.720 --> 0:17:58.880 to thinking about my students and why it is important 0:17:58.920 --> 0:18:01.720 for us to continue to share our stories, our joy, 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:05.160 our resilience, our arts, our music, and so much more 0:18:05.160 --> 0:18:09.439 of our humanity. Mm hmmm mm hmmmm. I love that 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:12.920 for you, Alice, because how many people just haven't found 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:15.920 their voice yet, you know, or still are holding onto 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:20.280 that just that I hate to say, burden. You do 0:18:20.320 --> 0:18:22.840 want to honor your culture, but what will they think 0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:26.480 of me still considering other people's opinions and emotions and 0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:30.000 considerations outside of what you truly need as well to 0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:32.439 honor your own self and your own culture, Like what 0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:34.840 can I do to add my piece to it? And 0:18:34.920 --> 0:18:36.640 you did it and you're doing it so I love 0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:39.159 that for both of you. As much as it is 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:42.439 terrible and horrible for us as women of color to 0:18:42.600 --> 0:18:45.639 know what it's like to be silenced and unseen, it 0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:48.880 is also that much more riveting to be here with 0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:52.880 you too today to see that, in spite of all 0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:54.840 the things that could have stacked against you and kept 0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:57.520 you silent, you prevailed. Well. I was in tears watching 0:18:57.520 --> 0:19:00.280 the constants because to be able to sit at that 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:05.359 table and share her absolute truth and whoever wants to 0:19:05.400 --> 0:19:09.840 talk about a suicide attempt that is probably one of 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:14.160 the most private, painful personal things anyone can ever consider, 0:19:14.640 --> 0:19:17.439 and for her to share that, knowing all that you 0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:20.880 have shared about how important it is to honor the culture, 0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:24.800 I cannot imagine the pressure that she must have felt 0:19:24.920 --> 0:19:28.120 and still feels now to have been in a position 0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:32.240 where she openly shared that I felt like nothing I 0:19:32.280 --> 0:19:37.399 could ever do would be enough. I felt like the 0:19:37.440 --> 0:19:40.480 only thing that would prove to her that I felt 0:19:40.520 --> 0:19:43.760 as bad as she thought I deserved to feel, would 0:19:43.880 --> 0:19:47.360 would be if I died. What do you think does 0:19:47.440 --> 0:19:49.840 that add to the shame for her, that she shared 0:19:49.920 --> 0:19:53.840 that she attempted suicide. How does it not add to 0:19:53.960 --> 0:19:57.680 the shame? Right? And I think in a culture where 0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:03.080 mental health is seen as a disability, in a culture 0:20:03.080 --> 0:20:06.520 where mental health is seen as you no longer are 0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:09.480 able to care for your loved ones, it's seen as 0:20:09.560 --> 0:20:14.199 something that takes away from one's life, right, and is 0:20:14.240 --> 0:20:18.679 so stigmatized. The shame of even saying I feel sad 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:23.000 sometimes is already really intense. And so I think for 0:20:23.040 --> 0:20:25.960 her to come out and actually say I was no 0:20:26.040 --> 0:20:29.919 longer safe, I was not in a place where I 0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:34.840 could keep myself safe, that takes such a huge step 0:20:34.880 --> 0:20:39.080 of courage for many communities of color, because the stigma 0:20:39.160 --> 0:20:43.640 is great. And so I think that when we get 0:20:43.680 --> 0:20:48.160 to a point of that type of despair, we realize 0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:55.800 that shame in silence and isolation breeds. And when she 0:20:55.920 --> 0:20:59.399 was able to have her friend help her go to 0:20:59.480 --> 0:21:03.000 the yaw are go to the hospital when she was 0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:08.480 able to speak her pain, the pain no longer wrapped 0:21:08.640 --> 0:21:12.919 the shame in a way that kept her trapped. And 0:21:12.960 --> 0:21:15.919 I think that's really powerful. That is powerful. That is 0:21:15.960 --> 0:21:18.760 really powerful. If you have not included something like that 0:21:18.800 --> 0:21:22.000 in your book yet, Dr Jenny, just go back and 0:21:22.000 --> 0:21:24.800 and incorporate that for the follow up, okay, because that 0:21:24.800 --> 0:21:28.199 that is so impactful, it really is. I'm just my 0:21:28.240 --> 0:21:30.719 mind is blowd I'm telling y'all, I literally have all 0:21:30.760 --> 0:21:34.159 these questions and things I want to keep asking because 0:21:34.480 --> 0:21:37.040 we rarely get to see behind the velvet rope of 0:21:37.080 --> 0:21:40.119 the Asian American community. Let me preface that by saying, 0:21:40.400 --> 0:21:42.320 I know neither of you are in a position where 0:21:42.320 --> 0:21:44.800 you can be the voice for the entire culture right 0:21:45.240 --> 0:21:47.320 that you can speak from your own lens and your 0:21:47.359 --> 0:21:50.280 own perspective, just like I can't say for all black 0:21:50.320 --> 0:21:52.760 women in the world. It's this. I just want to 0:21:52.800 --> 0:21:56.040 hear from you from your own perspective for what's happened 0:21:56.040 --> 0:22:00.760 since to date? How are you doing? I have so 0:22:00.800 --> 0:22:03.760 many thoughts and feelings in response to that, But Tracy, 0:22:03.800 --> 0:22:06.760 I just wanted to say, first, thank you for naming 0:22:06.840 --> 0:22:10.399 that that we are not the voice for the Asian 0:22:10.400 --> 0:22:15.280 American community, because that is exactly what Constance found herself 0:22:15.320 --> 0:22:18.400 in in that position. And so I hope that as 0:22:18.440 --> 0:22:22.000 we continue to share our voices and listen to different perspectives, 0:22:22.040 --> 0:22:26.119 that we hold space for a nuance in each other's 0:22:26.160 --> 0:22:30.800 lives within our culture. And one thing in terms of 0:22:31.119 --> 0:22:36.919 thinking about stigmas to break and to just address is 0:22:36.960 --> 0:22:40.240 when she said that she felt selfish for thinking of 0:22:40.280 --> 0:22:42.520 herself first. And I feel like that's something that is 0:22:42.560 --> 0:22:45.720 so cultural as well, that we're taught not to think 0:22:45.760 --> 0:22:49.119 of ourselves first, whether it is thinking about for our 0:22:49.160 --> 0:22:53.239 family or at all. Right, absolutely that if I am 0:22:53.280 --> 0:22:56.840 thinking about myself, then I'm really not showing deference or 0:22:57.040 --> 0:23:01.399 filial piety or reverence really at that point to those 0:23:01.440 --> 0:23:05.320 who are older, the elders in my family, my lineage, 0:23:05.359 --> 0:23:09.159 my community, whoever they may be. And so how am 0:23:09.200 --> 0:23:11.560 I doing? I guess I'm trying to really disrupt all 0:23:11.600 --> 0:23:19.200 of that personally, yes, because it's it's a mix of, Yes, 0:23:19.280 --> 0:23:23.760 we still want to honor our ancestors, the things that 0:23:23.960 --> 0:23:28.760 have been passed down, things values, etcetera. But we can 0:23:28.800 --> 0:23:32.679 still also be our whole selves. And so where do 0:23:32.720 --> 0:23:35.879 we strike that balance? And I think that so often 0:23:35.880 --> 0:23:39.040 we're looking for a very cookie cutter way or a 0:23:39.080 --> 0:23:42.000 specific framework. But the truth is that it's different for 0:23:42.040 --> 0:23:44.199 all of us, and it shouldn't be the same. We 0:23:44.240 --> 0:23:47.480 really shouldn't be looking for a specific framework. And the 0:23:47.560 --> 0:23:50.199 more that we talk about ourselves and more that we 0:23:50.240 --> 0:23:53.680 have conversations and across communities, for you as black women 0:23:53.680 --> 0:23:56.760 and then ourselves as Asian women, that is in itself 0:23:56.840 --> 0:24:01.400 so important for us to just disrust up whatever status 0:24:01.440 --> 0:24:06.000 quo it currently is. I love that, Dr Jenny, how 0:24:06.040 --> 0:24:10.359 are you? Oh it has been a couple of years, 0:24:11.119 --> 0:24:15.359 It is my response. I think being a mental health 0:24:15.600 --> 0:24:19.760 kind of practitioner, we almost got like an intimate lens 0:24:19.960 --> 0:24:24.760 into how people were coping not just pandemic, but you know, 0:24:24.840 --> 0:24:29.119 seeing many Asian American clients, it was pandemic plus anti 0:24:29.200 --> 0:24:33.879 Asian hate plus really that was all alongside Black Lives Matter. 0:24:34.000 --> 0:24:38.960 It was alongside so many social issues. And here in Texas, 0:24:39.200 --> 0:24:44.520 right school shootings, there were so many things that we're 0:24:44.600 --> 0:24:51.960 activating our nervous systems, having ways to cope with that 0:24:51.960 --> 0:24:56.280 that were helpful, that were small enough that I didn't 0:24:56.359 --> 0:25:00.239 have to feel exhausted to take care of myself. Right, 0:25:00.440 --> 0:25:02.840 It wasn't that I had two or three hours in 0:25:02.840 --> 0:25:04.600 a day to take care of myself. I had to 0:25:04.640 --> 0:25:08.040 find moments to do it. Maybe it was two minutes 0:25:08.800 --> 0:25:12.240 to do it because we were I mean, we were 0:25:12.280 --> 0:25:17.840