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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's teamed up with Oprah to

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Speaker 1: surprise an entire live studio audience with free colonics. Yes,

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Speaker 1: you get a probe, you get a prob, you get

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Speaker 1: three prob Wow, tarn it, I just had one yesterday.

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Speaker 2: Don't worry. She's covering all the taxes for it.

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Speaker 1: During Laser Stories, the second where we reading weird news

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Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except

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Speaker 1: we've got a laser so so the bottombusters just don't.

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Speaker 2: This first laser story is out of Florida, all right.

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Speaker 1: The other night, a thirty nine year old guy named

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Speaker 1: Adam Peacock was pulled over after witnesses called nine one

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Speaker 1: one because he was driving erradically. Peacock, you're not supposed

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Speaker 1: to do that, So deputies had him get out of

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Speaker 1: his car, and at first glance it seemed like he.

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Speaker 2: Was pretty loaded.

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Speaker 1: So they had Peacock to a few field sobriety tests

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Speaker 1: and that's when he said, there's a very good reason

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Speaker 1: why he's not able to complete them.

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Speaker 2: Apparently he had a medical condition.

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Speaker 3: Where he had to drink a bunch.

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Speaker 1: No, not that, okay, an actual medical condition. He even

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Speaker 1: gave the cops an acronym for it, but struggled to

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Speaker 1: pronounce it correctly.

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Speaker 3: I think I've heard of that, I mean, but who

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Speaker 3: can really pronounce their diagnosis?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I have that thing. You guys know what it's called,

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Speaker 2: you know, Yeah, sure. Just listen to the clip from

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Speaker 2: the officer's body cam. Just follow it. Tip my finger

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Speaker 2: with your eyes and your eyes only, don't move your head.

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Speaker 3: That's where I've always had a problem.

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Speaker 1: Which one my.

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Speaker 2: What is your ef D? Oh? Boy?

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Speaker 1: One of those?

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Speaker 3: Alright, you believe you're impaired?

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Speaker 2: Oh so close to passing the test?

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Speaker 3: He did try to go with add is that when

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Speaker 3: he just tried to go, was like, I can't focus

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Speaker 3: on the finger that long.

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Speaker 2: It's too hard for me to follow. I'm distracted.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think he said e f D though, but.

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Speaker 3: I heard hyperactive in there.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. There's there was no H in e

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Speaker 2: f D, So whatever, I don't know what he was saying.

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Speaker 1: Whatever happened afterwards, Peacock was arrested on suspicion of d

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Speaker 1: u I, and he was told to see his doctor

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Speaker 1: to find out what that acronym actually meant.

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Speaker 3: That's good.

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Speaker 2: It's probably a good thing. To match print like a

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Speaker 2: little card for him just to hand of people. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I have this drunk testament. This next Lazer story is

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Speaker 2: out of Holiday Headquarters. This is an exciting surprise.

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Speaker 1: Cinnabon just introduced a holiday wrapping paper that actually smells

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Speaker 1: like cinnamon rolls.

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Speaker 2: This is so smart.

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Speaker 3: Wait is it edible?

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Speaker 2: Wouldn't that be cool?

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Speaker 3: That's true? That's true.

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Speaker 1: Good. Now it comes in a two pas with one

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Speaker 1: teal and one pink roll for just eight ninety nine,

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Speaker 1: and each is decorated with Cinnabon themed icons and even

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Speaker 1: includes twenty percent off coupons that can be cut out

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Speaker 1: of the.

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Speaker 2: Paper right up the people.

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Speaker 1: People who've had a chance to snifft say they absolutely

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Speaker 1: nailed the scent. Wow, it smells just like one of

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Speaker 1: their Ooey Guy classic roles.

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Speaker 2: Nice.

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Speaker 1: So at this point, I can't wait for the news

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Speaker 1: report to come out that people in Florida are being

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Speaker 1: arrested for eating wrapping paper inside CBS.

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Speaker 2: You know what's gonna happen, smoke it? Oh my bad.

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Speaker 1: This next Lazer story is out of Celebrity Corner Woo.

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Speaker 2: Eminem takes his brand very seriously.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so seriously that he's going after an Australian beach

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Speaker 1: company called swim Shady.

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Speaker 3: That is called a ripoff of slim Shady.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, a little too close for his comfort.

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Speaker 1: The wrapper filed the petition with the US pass in

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Speaker 1: Office asking them to cancel swim Shady's US trademark because

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Speaker 1: he thinks the name could lead.

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Speaker 2: The public to believe that he is associated with the company,

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Speaker 2: which he's not.

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Speaker 1: Okay, but in a surprise move, swim Shady isn't rolling over.

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Speaker 2: Oh really.

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Speaker 1: The company says, quote, we are a grassroots Australian company

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Speaker 1: that was born to protect people from the harsh outback sun.

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Speaker 1: We will defend our valuable intellectual property.

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Speaker 3: Okay, that's why they're protecting from the sun. Because they're shady,

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Speaker 3: is that what may that's.

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Speaker 2: Why very very clever.

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Speaker 1: In other celebrity news, soon Dolly Partner won't be one

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Speaker 1: of the only celebrities with their own theme park, because

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Speaker 1: stand up comedian Nate Bargatzi is set to open his

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Speaker 1: very own way, yes way, called nate Land as well.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and this isn't a joke. I can't believe that Nate.

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Speaker 1: Has partnered with the people behind Legoland and notts very

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Speaker 1: farm to make this happen in Nashville.

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Speaker 3: A roller coaster and then a punchline hits you in

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Speaker 3: the face.

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Speaker 1: He has the funniest joke about taking your kids to

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Speaker 1: Disneyland too young, and now he's gonna have to live

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Speaker 1: his own theme park jokes. What exactly is the theme

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Speaker 1: of Nate Land. Yeah, well, it's hard to describe. They

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Speaker 1: say that the entire park will reflect the unique humor

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Speaker 1: and heart of the comedian behind it.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I mean it sounds I mean it's pretty vain

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Speaker 3: to name a whole theme park after come on, she's

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Speaker 3: an icon, so I don't know that he's on the same.

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Speaker 1: Level as It's probably going to be a theme park

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Speaker 1: with no swearing aloud because he's a clean comedian. He

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Speaker 1: never says cursed words on stage.

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Speaker 3: Popular, so you get on the oh Gosh ride.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Also, alongside the rides, there will be retail dining

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Speaker 1: and even a possible Nate hotel.

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Speaker 2: Not a comedy club.

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Speaker 3: It would be so awesome if they hired all of

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Speaker 3: the people that work there were struggling comedians.

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Speaker 1: The weekend the ries, So once that opens, make sure

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Speaker 1: to book your tickets to Nate land. Let's go to

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Speaker 1: your final laser story out of the pet Palace. I

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Speaker 1: am not joking when I say this, but researchers believe

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Speaker 1: raccoons may be inching closer to becoming pets.

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Speaker 2: Some people keep the.

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Speaker 3: Pet skunk for gosh sakes.

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Speaker 2: Really yeah, if you want to say.

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Speaker 3: You could take the sack out, you can have it removed.

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Speaker 3: Anything could be a pet.

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Speaker 2: Guess that's true.

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Speaker 1: But a study from the University of Arkansas, of course

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Speaker 1: it's from the university. They found raccoons are physically changing

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Speaker 1: in response to their interactions with humans. And by physically changing,

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Speaker 1: they mean their faces are evolving to look cuter.

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Speaker 2: A baby raccoon.

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Speaker 3: Job, raccoons, you're so just warm your way into our

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Speaker 3: lives so you can eat the scraps right off the table.

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Speaker 2: Instead of in the garbage king.

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Speaker 1: Plus, they're dumpster diving less and becoming less disease written. Job.

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Speaker 2: That's a big sound for them.

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Speaker 3: I think they's part of the human population that could probably.

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Speaker 1: One researcher says, once wild animals start spending time in

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Speaker 1: the proximity of people, they become a little less afraid

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Speaker 1: and perhaps even start showing physical signs of domestication, and

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Speaker 1: raccoons aren't the only animals that this is happening to.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, say please say please say.

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Speaker 1: Foxes and mice that live in urban areas also are

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Speaker 1: having softer facial features. But let's not make this a

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Speaker 1: new TikTok trend. These animals do not Let's be clear,

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Speaker 1: they do not make great pets, and it's even illegal

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Speaker 1: to own them in some areas.

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Speaker 3: So there's the buzzkill of the room.

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Speaker 2: It's already on TikTok.

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Speaker 1: If you're still stuck taking care of that turtle that

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Speaker 1: your kid desperately needed fifteen years ago, it's.

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Speaker 2: Still alive and now it's your problem. Just know there's

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Speaker 2: a worst pet that kids could demand in the future.

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Speaker 1: It's gotten okay, Yeah, well no, hey, and if that's happening,

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Speaker 1: just imagine what a pet raccoon would try to.

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Speaker 2: Do to your leg. Oh, it would not be pretty.

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Speaker 3: You never thought of that.

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Speaker 1: You know, this guy's a dream And that sound means

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Speaker 1: Laser Stories has come to an end of the day.

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Speaker 1: We'll do it again, same time on Mondays.

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Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning