1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:03,680 Speaker 1: All right, guys, it's time now for the Strawberry Letter. 2 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:06,040 Speaker 1: But before we get into the letter, we got to 3 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:12,600 Speaker 1: say something about Genius Arethah. It premiered last night. Cynthia 4 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 1: Arrivo starred as Aretha. She's excellent. I must say she can, 5 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 1: and yes she can, and she nailed it, she really did. 6 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:27,960 Speaker 1: I can't wait to see the upcoming um episodes. Courtney 7 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: b Vans of course, played her dad, Reverend Seal Franklin. 8 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:35,320 Speaker 1: So I mean it's good, it's really good. It's eight 9 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:37,960 Speaker 1: I think it's eight episodes, surely, so they're gonna do 10 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:42,880 Speaker 1: it over for nights spans, so it's a multi part series. 11 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:45,560 Speaker 1: Like Shirley was saying earlier. It's good. Though. I watched 12 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 1: her last night. Go sit the favorite singer Aretha. Yes, remember, yeah, 13 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: we were all in Paris when we found out that 14 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:56,000 Speaker 1: she had passed away and they were celebrating her in 15 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 1: Paris all over the world. Aretha the Queen, the Queen. 16 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:05,360 Speaker 1: So yeah, all right, we'll be watching, Yeah, we definitely will. 17 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 1: Genius Aretha. Eight episodes, m yeah, eight episodes. Time. All right, 18 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: so it is time now as we switch gears. Time 19 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:22,039 Speaker 1: now for today's Strawberry letter, and if you need advice 20 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:26,400 Speaker 1: on relationships, on dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 21 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:30,200 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 22 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:34,000 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 23 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,400 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this one. 24 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 1: See it right here, right now, all right, buckle up 25 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 1: and hold on tight. We got it for you here. 26 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 1: It is the Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subject am 27 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 1: I in an open relationship? Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a 28 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 1: thirty six year old married woman and my husband just 29 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 1: turned forty, So we went on a weekend getaway to 30 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: Las Vegas with another married couple that we have known 31 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 1: for years. We got to our hotel suite and we 32 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 1: were drinking and eating and having a good time, just 33 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 1: the four of us. The guys went down to the 34 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,640 Speaker 1: bar around eleven PM for a nightcap. I was so 35 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 1: tipsy and tired that I decided to lie across my 36 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 1: bed until my husband came back. I woke up around 37 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 1: three am and my husband was not in the bed. 38 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:26,080 Speaker 1: I found him asleep on the couch and a girl 39 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 1: was lying under him, almost hidden by his body. I 40 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: shook her first and then him. They both had on 41 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,680 Speaker 1: their clothes, but I demanded some answers. He said she 42 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 1: followed him upstairs because he wanted her to have a 43 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 1: threesome with us, but I was passed out drunk. I 44 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:48,360 Speaker 1: started screaming so loudly I woke up the other couple. 45 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 1: They came running out, and a woman came out of 46 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,079 Speaker 1: the room with them. My husband took me into our 47 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,360 Speaker 1: room and he told me that they all had a 48 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:59,320 Speaker 1: sex party, and he tried to wake me up, but 49 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,320 Speaker 1: I was out of it. He said he enjoyed himself, 50 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,440 Speaker 1: but he didn't go all the way with any of 51 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,359 Speaker 1: the women. He said he fooled around with the other 52 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 1: wife that came with us, and her husband didn't care 53 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 1: because they've always had an open marriage. Before we got married, 54 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,799 Speaker 1: my husband and I had a manage twap, but that 55 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,520 Speaker 1: was eight years ago. Now I feel guilty since I 56 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 1: allowed this to happen before. I don't talk to the 57 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,840 Speaker 1: couple we went to Vegas with anymore, but my husband 58 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:32,680 Speaker 1: is still friendly with them. Am I in an open marriage? 59 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 1: Please help? Well, honestly, no, you're not in an open marriage. 60 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 1: I don't think you're in an open relationship. I think 61 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: your husband thinks he's in an open relationship and he 62 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: can't say it's because of what happened eight years ago. 63 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 1: Don't even let him try that one, because things change, 64 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 1: people change, And if you guys, you know, I haven't 65 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: had any kind of sex with other people since then, 66 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 1: I would say that that part of the marriage is over, 67 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 1: or the relationship is over. But maybe it's not with him. 68 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 1: Obviously it's not with him. Maybe it was always in 69 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: the back of his mind. He just needed the proper setting, 70 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 1: you know, to make that happen. I don't think this 71 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 1: was premeditated. I'll say that maybe the excessive alcohol is 72 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: to blame. But either way, he and your friends have 73 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 1: some explaining to do. They really do. Because you feel betrayed, 74 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 1: you're mad, you're upset, you feel disrespected, and by all means, 75 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 1: if you're against open marriages and swinging and nagtois now 76 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: and all that stuff, well you gotta let your husband know. 77 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,839 Speaker 1: He just can't assume, you know, just because you all 78 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 1: go to Vegas together and get drunk, you know that 79 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: you could just bring a woman into the room. You 80 00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:53,480 Speaker 1: can't do that in a marriage. He should know you 81 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 1: better than that, and that's where I falled him. I 82 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,720 Speaker 1: followed him, of course for doing it, but just assuming 83 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 1: that you'd be okay with said, um, yeah, he should 84 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,960 Speaker 1: know you better than that. And you're definitely not in 85 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 1: an open marriage. And I think if he wants to 86 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 1: continue being married to you, he's got to make that 87 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 1: clear that you're not in an open marriage. And I 88 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:18,159 Speaker 1: don't blame me for not speaking to the other couple. Steve, 89 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: I don't know what letter you read. The question is 90 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 1: am I in an open relationship? The answer is your 91 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:33,320 Speaker 1: ass is in a wide open ass relationship in it 92 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:37,720 Speaker 1: just ain't no marriage. Am I in an open relationship? No, ma'am, 93 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 1: you in a wide open, wide open relationship. Everything in him, 94 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:47,719 Speaker 1: your thirty six year you and your husband. He turned forty, 95 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 1: y'all with to Vegas with another married couple that y'all 96 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 1: have known for years. Ye don't know him that good. 97 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 1: We got that hotel room, were drinking and eating, having 98 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,800 Speaker 1: a good time, just a four us. The guys went 99 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: down to the body eleven for nightcap. Who lead a 100 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:09,000 Speaker 1: room at eleven in Vegas? When you leave your room, 101 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:12,919 Speaker 1: I'm Vegas man. I've been going to Vegas. One of 102 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: my favorite places. When I was running and I left 103 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 1: my hotel room at eleven it was to partake in 104 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:38,280 Speaker 1: the nightlife that is Vegas, cigars, drinking and women. Well 105 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 1: at first two of Steve's response coming up in twenty 106 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:44,160 Speaker 1: three minutes after the hour, Am I in an open relationship? 107 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 1: Is the subject of today's Strawberry letter. Will get back 108 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:51,839 Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening Stry Morning Show. 109 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, Let's recap today's Strawberry letter 110 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:59,480 Speaker 1: question and subject. Am I in and open relationship? Am 111 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:03,279 Speaker 1: I in a open relationship? Lady? You in a wide 112 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 1: open relationship? You and your marriage is so open it 113 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 1: won't even have a dough on it. Normal This thing 114 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,520 Speaker 1: you just you in a cave. You with a cave 115 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,160 Speaker 1: with an opening, matter of fact, is really just a 116 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 1: tunnel because it's an opening at the back too, because 117 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 1: you can come and go as you please. Yes, you 118 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: went one you forty thirty six forty y'all went on 119 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,680 Speaker 1: Vegas weekend with another man couple known for years. We 120 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 1: got our hotels, were drinking and even having a good time. 121 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 1: Just the four of us guys went down to the 122 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 1: Body eleven PM for a nightcap just the dudes went 123 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: downstairs for a nightcap. Didn't y'all say y'all was upstairs drinking. 124 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 1: Y'all was just upstairs drinking. We're going downstairs for a nightcap. 125 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:48,480 Speaker 1: Ain't saying nothing about gamblet, which is the main attraction 126 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 1: of Vegas. No, they told you we're gonna get a nightcap. 127 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 1: I was so tipsy and tired that I decided to 128 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 1: lie across from my bed until my husband came back. Now, 129 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 1: sure said in her response, which could it be true 130 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 1: that you could blame the alcohol for some of this? Well, 131 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 1: but let's really think about the power of alcohol, because 132 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,200 Speaker 1: I'm gonna show you some things that alcohol can't do. 133 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:21,880 Speaker 1: First of all, I wroke up around three am and 134 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 1: my husband was not in the bed. Alcohol can do that. 135 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 1: You ain't in the bed At three o'clock. I found 136 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:34,719 Speaker 1: him asleep on the couch. Alcohol can do that. But 137 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 1: here's why alcohol can't do And a girl was lying 138 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 1: under him. What see to get the girl under you, 139 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:51,560 Speaker 1: you can't be drunk. You have to talk her into 140 00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:59,319 Speaker 1: coming upstairs. Alcohol don't do that. Suave pump player lines. 141 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 1: Get girl to come upstairs and I'll go a little 142 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,959 Speaker 1: further that and was laying almost hidden by his body. 143 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:14,959 Speaker 1: I shook her first and then him what I no, no, no, no, no, 144 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,719 Speaker 1: no no no. I don't see how you got to 145 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 1: wake up first. But anyway, that shit. Uh. They both 146 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: had their clothes on. But I demanded some answers. What see, 147 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 1: you're in an open marriage. You find your husband in 148 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:34,199 Speaker 1: your hotel room, laying on top of a woman on 149 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,400 Speaker 1: a couch, and you upstairs, and you demanded some answers. 150 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:41,839 Speaker 1: What answer you looking for? He laying on top of 151 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:45,719 Speaker 1: a woman's sleep. What answer could he have given you 152 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:50,679 Speaker 1: to fix it? Let's see, he said she followed him 153 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:53,679 Speaker 1: upstairs because he wanted her to have a threesome with us. 154 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:57,400 Speaker 1: You know why, because he thanked y'all in an open marriage. 155 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,440 Speaker 1: But he talked a woman into this. She came upstairs. 156 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 1: But I, but you was passed out drunk. Now this 157 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:09,480 Speaker 1: is where the confusion starts. I started screaming so loudly 158 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:14,440 Speaker 1: that I woke up to other couple. Now, alcohol don't 159 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:18,800 Speaker 1: wake you up. Alcohol make you fall asleep, But you 160 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 1: to screamed so loud that you woked other couple up. 161 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 1: They came running out and a woman came out the 162 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:29,760 Speaker 1: room with him. It's sixty y'all in there now, it's 163 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 1: six people in the same hotel suite. Where an alcohol 164 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 1: that in this hill? My husband took me into our 165 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,680 Speaker 1: room and told me that they all had a sex party. 166 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 1: What they all had a sex party? And he tried 167 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 1: to wake me up, but I was out of it. 168 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,320 Speaker 1: He said he enjoyed himself. You know why he said 169 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 1: that because he in an open marriage. So whilst was 170 00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:00,439 Speaker 1: that we had a sex party, I would never hold that. 171 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 1: I have left for that. I bought it up here 172 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,679 Speaker 1: for the threesome. You fell asleep. I fell asleep on 173 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 1: top of her. End of it? What am I telling 174 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 1: you we had a sex party for? Unless I'm thinking 175 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:18,240 Speaker 1: we in an open marriage. He said he enjoyed himself, 176 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,000 Speaker 1: but he didn't go all the way with any of 177 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 1: the women. What he said, he fooled around with the 178 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 1: other wife that came with us, and a husband didn't 179 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 1: care because they've always had an open marriage. What stop 180 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:42,280 Speaker 1: blaming this on alcohol. These are conscious, consensual decisions that's 181 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:46,560 Speaker 1: made by six adults. Before we got married. My husband, 182 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,719 Speaker 1: I had a manage a tire or you ain't had 183 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 1: just one see this is what this is what she 184 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: ain't telling the truth? You ain't had just one, but 185 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,679 Speaker 1: that was eight years ago. Now I feel guilty because 186 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 1: I allowed this to happen before. Don't talk to the 187 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,520 Speaker 1: couple with the Vegas with anymore? I guess not. But 188 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,080 Speaker 1: my husband is still friendly with him. Hell, you ain't 189 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:10,319 Speaker 1: friendly with him? Fool around with the man's wife. Am 190 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:13,160 Speaker 1: I in an open relationship? Please help? Yes, you are 191 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 1: in an open relationship, and you want me to tell 192 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 1: you why you're in an old relationship because this is 193 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,959 Speaker 1: your reaction. Your reaction to this whole thing is to 194 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 1: write a letter. You're in an open relationship because you're 195 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:27,680 Speaker 1: still married to him. You're in an open relationship because 196 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,840 Speaker 1: you bought into the whole idea, and you're now even 197 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 1: blaming yourself for this to even happen. How did this 198 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:38,719 Speaker 1: become any of your fault if y'all had more than one? 199 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,320 Speaker 1: Manage atoire? So he thinking it's just part for the course. 200 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,960 Speaker 1: He knows what the other couple was because he didn't 201 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,800 Speaker 1: talk to his dude about it. That's why the four 202 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:51,199 Speaker 1: of them came together. He went downstairs because he know 203 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 1: that what the dude do. Yes, lady, you in an 204 00:12:54,960 --> 00:13:00,960 Speaker 1: open marriage all day long? All right? Thanks Steve. Post 205 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,800 Speaker 1: your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey and Ella, 206 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:07,679 Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on 207 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 1: the Man Please coming up at forty six minutes after 208 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 1: the hour, Sports Talk with Junior. Right after this, you're 209 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 1: listening to The Stave Harvey Morning Show