WEBVTT - We Don’t Knows

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<v Speaker 1>I got to say hello and welcome to the NOS Parenting.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Peter McNerney and I'm Beth Newell. You oh boy,

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<v Speaker 1>oh my friends, oh boy, we have some news for you.

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<v Speaker 1>We have some news for you. How do we tell

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<v Speaker 1>them the news? Well, we're just gonna have to rip

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<v Speaker 1>it off like a band aid. We are going to

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<v Speaker 1>put this podcast on pause, um, put it on ice.

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<v Speaker 1>I was a debated, I was wondered. I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder if she's going to say, this is our

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<v Speaker 1>last episode. This is our last episode for a while.

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<v Speaker 1>We don't know what the future brings, but it's for

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<v Speaker 1>a variety of reasons. It felt like a good stopping

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<v Speaker 1>point for us. And are what are the good reasons

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<v Speaker 1>for for you? The good reasons? Well, I just I

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<v Speaker 1>think it's funny. So like quarantine happened, and in some ways,

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<v Speaker 1>like everyone's saying, oh, now we have all this time

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<v Speaker 1>at home, but we haven't really gained time. You're still

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<v Speaker 1>teaching remotely, I've lost time. Yeah, it's it's not. We

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<v Speaker 1>we just don't have as much time as you would think,

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<v Speaker 1>and we're trading parenting duties and it's just it was

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<v Speaker 1>always exhausting to do this podcast at the end of

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<v Speaker 1>the day. Um, even though we do enjoy doing it.

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<v Speaker 1>But now it's just I feel like we're transitioning into

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<v Speaker 1>like a slower time and we're trying to be precious

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<v Speaker 1>with our moments and and I'm and I'm struggling to

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<v Speaker 1>be present. Yeah, I just don't. It's weird because as

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<v Speaker 1>much as I was like probably getting a little burnt

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<v Speaker 1>out before quarantine happened, I was more in a mode

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<v Speaker 1>of like doing and going, and it was like it's

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<v Speaker 1>just easier to sort of squeeze things in when you're

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<v Speaker 1>in that mode. And now it's like we spend house

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<v Speaker 1>the day with the kids and we're cooking dinner, and

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<v Speaker 1>it's like you're not. You just can't like pull yourself

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<v Speaker 1>back into this like go go go lifestyle. Like it's like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>now we have to record a podcast. It's nine pm.

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<v Speaker 1>It's that it's just I've somehow in this time, I

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<v Speaker 1>have fewer nights free than occupied, which is insane. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>doing two shows that I'm teaching another night, and then

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<v Speaker 1>I'm producing a podcast another night. Uh. And during the

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<v Speaker 1>week I'm full time school, not full time, I'm a

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<v Speaker 1>part time school. Teacher and and then the other part

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<v Speaker 1>time is all of my other jobs right anyway, But

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<v Speaker 1>and then it kind of obviously creates tension between the

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<v Speaker 1>two of us because when we're like busy and tired,

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<v Speaker 1>it feels it feels like the other person is making

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<v Speaker 1>us do the podcast, which is not really the case,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's psychologically we are to resent each other weirdly,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I think our our biggest historically over this podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>And we've talked about this a bunch, where like historically

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<v Speaker 1>our tensions arise in the recording, and at least in

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<v Speaker 1>the last year, we've used the podcast to become better

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<v Speaker 1>communicators and partners and we get along on the podcast

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<v Speaker 1>way more. And it's it's before and after the recording

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<v Speaker 1>better stressful Now sometimes it's during the recording, but not

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<v Speaker 1>in a while, we've gotten past a lot of that.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like it's thought us to set some good boundaries,

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<v Speaker 1>I think, and communicate our true needs. Um, it's so funny,

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<v Speaker 1>like I have learned really in the last couple of

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<v Speaker 1>weeks how much you're not always articulating how you actually

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<v Speaker 1>feel about things, and so like last like this has

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<v Speaker 1>happened before last night, I can't. I got home late,

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<v Speaker 1>We're going to record, and you and um, I was

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<v Speaker 1>driving with my sister to run an errand um and

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<v Speaker 1>we uh sorry. I looked at you. You're so clearly

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<v Speaker 1>so tired out of it, had been like slumped on

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<v Speaker 1>the couch, and I was like, do you want to

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<v Speaker 1>record in the morning? And you were like shocked by

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<v Speaker 1>this information and you were like, um, the morning and

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<v Speaker 1>then you're like, uh, yeah, I can't. But it like

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<v Speaker 1>hadn't occurred to you that, like you're like, are not

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<v Speaker 1>you were not in a good state to record a podcast? Yeah? Yeah, um,

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<v Speaker 1>but boy, you know what, I have a I have

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of guilt about this. Yeah, you have, like

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, we both have clearly some um we both

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<v Speaker 1>have some like workaholic tendencies. And I think, well, there's

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<v Speaker 1>this like an imaginary person who mad at us if

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<v Speaker 1>we don't do everything we set out to do. And

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<v Speaker 1>so I think in the last couple of weeks of

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<v Speaker 1>talking this out, we've revealed some of your demons around

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<v Speaker 1>not being able to let go because I think you

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<v Speaker 1>right now, I think you are more exhausted by this

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<v Speaker 1>podcast than I am, even though historically I have been

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<v Speaker 1>the more exhausted one, and I can just feel like

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<v Speaker 1>you're not You're ready to take a break. It's fifty

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<v Speaker 1>minutes of your week and it's more of mine. Right.

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<v Speaker 1>But I hate I have. I hate quitting. No, I

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<v Speaker 1>hate quitting too. I hate It's like, but I've I've

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<v Speaker 1>gotten better, I think at quitting. But every time I

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<v Speaker 1>quit something, it's like it's a miracle. Yeah, usually feels

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<v Speaker 1>so good, getting to that point where I realized that

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<v Speaker 1>this is actually I know. If I'm quitting something, it's

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<v Speaker 1>for the right reason, it's freeing me up, it's whatever,

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<v Speaker 1>and I have so much guilt building up to it,

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<v Speaker 1>and then when it's over, I'm like, oh, this was

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<v Speaker 1>this was right. Yeah, And it's it's like a trust

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<v Speaker 1>the universe thing, which you don't like, Like I don't

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<v Speaker 1>trust the universe. There's all when you quit something that's

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<v Speaker 1>like weighing on you, there's always something that comes in

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<v Speaker 1>that's better. The way I have operated since as long

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<v Speaker 1>as I can remember having any sort of agency, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>of like deciding what activities I was gonna do. Whenever

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<v Speaker 1>that happens, like you know, probably around the middle school,

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<v Speaker 1>where like I'm really have strong opinions about what I'm

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<v Speaker 1>gonna how I'm gonna spend my time, Like extracurriculars. I've

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<v Speaker 1>filled up my time. I fill it up whatever. Whenever

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<v Speaker 1>I'm available, I fill it up with something exciting, and

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<v Speaker 1>until I hit a breaking point and I'm like, why

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<v Speaker 1>am I? Am I sad? Why am I sad? And

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<v Speaker 1>then I realized I'm doing something, uh that I don't

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<v Speaker 1>need to be doing. Remember, well, we both, like, I think,

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<v Speaker 1>we both have a ton and say to just spread

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<v Speaker 1>ourselves tooth in because you're like, well, I have to,

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<v Speaker 1>like I think, especially because of the nature of our careers.

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<v Speaker 1>You're auditioning, I'm pitching things and whatever, and it's like

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<v Speaker 1>just constantly feeling like, Okay, if I don't jump when

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<v Speaker 1>people say jump, I'm never going to have a career,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. And to bring it back to parenting, uh,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, and again all but these things that I

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<v Speaker 1>quit aren't things I don't love, Like I love this

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<v Speaker 1>and the yeah, I think, like we we don't hate

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<v Speaker 1>doing this podcast. It's more like if this, it's like

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<v Speaker 1>our lives are just a jumble of these little things.

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<v Speaker 1>And if you don't have proper time carved out in

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<v Speaker 1>the day that's like your work time, so you can

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<v Speaker 1>like devote yourself properly to what you're doing. Everything just

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<v Speaker 1>starts to feel insane. Yeah. Uh. I But the idea

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<v Speaker 1>that there's even one listener who's going to hear this

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<v Speaker 1>episode and be like, this is my this is my

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<v Speaker 1>Tuesday jam, my Tuesday routine is gone. I think they'll

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<v Speaker 1>be okay. I mean, you'll be okay. But just know

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<v Speaker 1>that I have an insane amount of guilt for making

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<v Speaker 1>anyone feel bad about anything ever. But also on top

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<v Speaker 1>of that, I I have I am incredibly critical of

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<v Speaker 1>myself for being so presumptuous as to think that somebody

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<v Speaker 1>needs me. You know, that's something that helped me years

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<v Speaker 1>ago get better at quitting things, because like when I

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<v Speaker 1>was straight out of college and having like just odd jobs,

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<v Speaker 1>I always felt so bad about quitting. And then I realized,

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<v Speaker 1>like I had to tell myself, like, this is like

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<v Speaker 1>a form of narcissism that you think you quitting this

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<v Speaker 1>like baby sitting job, is that you're so irreplaceable that

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<v Speaker 1>the world won't go on, And I, like I sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>remind myself, like you could get struck by lightning tomorrow

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<v Speaker 1>and everyone else would pick up the pieces and move on.

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<v Speaker 1>Like everyone, I oscillate between those two things. So it's

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<v Speaker 1>the intense I have a complicated relationship with humility, um

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<v Speaker 1>in that I've realized as I get older that it's

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<v Speaker 1>incredibly I important to me. I like, is is I

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<v Speaker 1>want people to think that I'm humble, and so if

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<v Speaker 1>I appear selfish, it's like the biggest freak out. And

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<v Speaker 1>this is my big Midwest thing. So it is that, like,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm still so bad that somebody is going to miss us,

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<v Speaker 1>and I feel worse that I think someone would miss me. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>what are these people doing for us? You know, what

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<v Speaker 1>have they ever done for us? Besides? No, I'm just

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<v Speaker 1>ding know. We appreciate you guys downloading the incredible because

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<v Speaker 1>besides the incredible amount of validation and advice were able

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<v Speaker 1>amount of validation? Oh yeah, I mean honestly, the only

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<v Speaker 1>reason we have continuing to do this is because of

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<v Speaker 1>all of you. It's been fun. We might, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>we might come back and drop an episode here and there.

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<v Speaker 1>Who's who knows. So yeah, that was the So we

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<v Speaker 1>told Chuck Bryant, who's been our our point man at

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<v Speaker 1>the network, and the person who point man on the scene.

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<v Speaker 1>That's right, who's who made the show possible. And we

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<v Speaker 1>were here's the first present. We told that we're gonna stop,

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<v Speaker 1>and he was like, well, let's leave it up. I

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<v Speaker 1>know that, you know he listens to the show, which

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<v Speaker 1>is incredibly flattering and uh um, and he's like, people

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<v Speaker 1>want to know what's up with you, So we're going

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<v Speaker 1>to leave the feed up, so stay stay subscribed. Um

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<v Speaker 1>and if you yeah, you guys can always go back

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<v Speaker 1>and re listen to us arguing with each Yeah. It's

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<v Speaker 1>somewhere around episode I don't know, zero idea. We pushed.

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<v Speaker 1>We pushed through a wall of fighting. Yeah, we really did.

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<v Speaker 1>We learned about ourselves and each other in front of

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<v Speaker 1>all of you. We yeah, we really I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>if we said this yet, but we really are grateful

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<v Speaker 1>for how much this podcast has forced us to communicate

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<v Speaker 1>with one another with an audience of you. You guys

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<v Speaker 1>have been ours are silent therapists, um couples therapists, and

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<v Speaker 1>we're we've really I feel like this in a way,

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<v Speaker 1>It just feels like this podcast has like served its

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<v Speaker 1>purpose for us, which was largely to force us to

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<v Speaker 1>figure out how to communicate with each other about parenting. YEA, Honestly,

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<v Speaker 1>that was the biggest concern in stopping besides the guilt

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<v Speaker 1>and all of that was the Yeah, you were like,

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<v Speaker 1>how are we going to talk to each other? And

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, didn't we learn the lesson? Can we

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<v Speaker 1>not just turn to one another? Well? I do think,

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<v Speaker 1>and this was part of the deals, Like I do

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<v Speaker 1>think we need to have mandatory time and it's like

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<v Speaker 1>a date night. Yeah, but I think what is incredibly

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<v Speaker 1>unique about this and you know, and it's it may

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<v Speaker 1>even says it seems cliche to say it, but it's

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<v Speaker 1>totally true. Is it's not just a date night. It's

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<v Speaker 1>fifty minutes of talking where neither one of us looks

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<v Speaker 1>at a screen. Uh, and we're on topic, right. But

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<v Speaker 1>it also has its limits where like there's a variety

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<v Speaker 1>of subjects in our personal lives that are not appropriate

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<v Speaker 1>to discuss publicly, that are just between us as a

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<v Speaker 1>family or whatever. And sometimes on the podcast you have

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<v Speaker 1>like veered into those areas in a way that's like

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<v Speaker 1>completely undiscussed, and like it'll be I think sometimes it's

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<v Speaker 1>nice to like be like, oh, we can have a

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<v Speaker 1>cavers where we don't have to worry about how it

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<v Speaker 1>this sounds to a consumer. Yeah, uh yeah, that's yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>So what I think we should do and uh, let's

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<v Speaker 1>commit to something in front of our audience. Um is

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<v Speaker 1>even if it's I mean, this is the advice I've

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<v Speaker 1>started to give people. You know, I jokingly say, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>advice about a relationship is start a podcast about yourselves,

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<v Speaker 1>because that's what we did. But I mean that's you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I'm sure there's many examples of one that

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<v Speaker 1>has gone wrong, right, but set a half an hour

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<v Speaker 1>a week where you literally set a time or put

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<v Speaker 1>down your phones and talk about your week together. Because

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<v Speaker 1>I learned about your week hearing you tell the audience

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<v Speaker 1>like we talked about it. I learned so many things

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<v Speaker 1>about you in this conversation that maybe we would talk

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<v Speaker 1>about otherwise, but we have just like, hey, how is

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<v Speaker 1>your week? Let's talk about the week? Yeah you want

0:14:06.400 --> 0:14:09.480
<v Speaker 1>to do that? You talk about our week? Um? Going

0:14:09.520 --> 0:14:13.440
<v Speaker 1>forward when there's no podcast, sure, all right, you heard

0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:17.079
<v Speaker 1>it here, folks. If we check back in and however long,

0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:19.840
<v Speaker 1>we'll let you know if that happened, or we'll forget

0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:21.240
<v Speaker 1>that we said that. I mean, we can also just

0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:23.080
<v Speaker 1>talk to each other throughout the week, and then I

0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:27.840
<v Speaker 1>don't have to like mentally catalog what happened during the week. Well,

0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:30.480
<v Speaker 1>because it's not I feel like it's less loaded because

0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:35.560
<v Speaker 1>we're not like creating content. I think if we tried

0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:37.520
<v Speaker 1>to go like, oh, we'll do out throughout the week,

0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:44.200
<v Speaker 1>it won't be the same. Um, So I think we

0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:49.760
<v Speaker 1>have to do a Monday night half an hour talk. Okay, well,

0:14:49.760 --> 0:14:53.960
<v Speaker 1>we'll see what happens. I have found because we we

0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:57.760
<v Speaker 1>decompress and we have our alone time and we recharge

0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:02.040
<v Speaker 1>in very different ways. And because they're both staring at

0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:06.960
<v Speaker 1>TV screens in different rooms, different TV shows. I mean,

0:15:07.000 --> 0:15:08.720
<v Speaker 1>if it was up to me, I would be around

0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:12.560
<v Speaker 1>you every second, just talking NonStop. Yeah, that's true. This

0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:19.360
<v Speaker 1>podcast has allowed me. I mean when we don't have

0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:21.560
<v Speaker 1>this podcast and we go like a week and a

0:15:21.560 --> 0:15:25.040
<v Speaker 1>half of date nightly routines where we're in different rooms,

0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:28.160
<v Speaker 1>I get paranoid and sad, and I think the worst

0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:32.280
<v Speaker 1>we sometimes are in the same rooms. I know, but

0:15:32.360 --> 0:15:35.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying part this podcast has made it easier for

0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:38.040
<v Speaker 1>me to ignore you, to be like I'm gonna leave

0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:42.400
<v Speaker 1>Beth alone. Because we have a we have check in points, yeah,

0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:45.160
<v Speaker 1>and if we're saying we'll just do it throughout the week,

0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:49.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm more likely to just like start hounding you. Well,

0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:51.720
<v Speaker 1>I for me, I feel like this is going to

0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:54.440
<v Speaker 1>free up our time so we can do it more organically,

0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:59.000
<v Speaker 1>because I think part of why I'm like when you're

0:15:59.040 --> 0:16:00.840
<v Speaker 1>walking in the room and I'm kind of decompress and

0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:03.280
<v Speaker 1>watch TV and I'm like, can I just be left alone,

0:16:03.400 --> 0:16:06.440
<v Speaker 1>It's because all of these nights of the week are

0:16:06.480 --> 0:16:10.520
<v Speaker 1>blocked off already where I don't have decompression time, So

0:16:10.640 --> 0:16:14.360
<v Speaker 1>like this, having this podcast in the way makes me

0:16:14.800 --> 0:16:17.440
<v Speaker 1>more likely on other nights to be like I just

0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:20.160
<v Speaker 1>need to zone out and listen to a spiritual podcast

0:16:20.160 --> 0:16:22.960
<v Speaker 1>and no one should talk to me. But that's the

0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:24.880
<v Speaker 1>best way to keep me away from you is to

0:16:24.880 --> 0:16:27.800
<v Speaker 1>start playing a spiritual podcast out loud. I know, I

0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:29.400
<v Speaker 1>can't find my headphones, and I'm like, I guess I

0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:33.040
<v Speaker 1>gotta play my weird shit out loud for everybody. Well, no,

0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:35.800
<v Speaker 1>it just really keeps me awake. I know it's so

0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:38.800
<v Speaker 1>upsetting to you that people would believe in afterlife and

0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:42.640
<v Speaker 1>positive energy. Well, I don't want to anger you, and

0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:46.160
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be irrationally defensive, and so I

0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:48.520
<v Speaker 1>leave the room and everyone is happy. It's like a

0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:58.680
<v Speaker 1>Peter repellent. It really really am Yeah. Um, I love you, Beth,

0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:02.320
<v Speaker 1>I really I love you. To really love you in

0:17:02.360 --> 0:17:09.840
<v Speaker 1>this podcast helped me understand what that meant. Um, I

0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:13.000
<v Speaker 1>have an idea for the listeners. Yeah, I feel bad.

0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:17.320
<v Speaker 1>I didn't true to form. I didn't prepare anything for

0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:20.920
<v Speaker 1>this this episode. We have not prepared for this episode

0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:23.399
<v Speaker 1>in any year and a half. Yeah, I just I don't.

0:17:24.080 --> 0:17:26.399
<v Speaker 1>I really thought I would think of something for this

0:17:26.480 --> 0:17:30.680
<v Speaker 1>last episode, and then I didn't. You've described every week.

0:17:30.960 --> 0:17:33.840
<v Speaker 1>I know. I just it is what it is, guys,

0:17:34.640 --> 0:17:41.560
<v Speaker 1>it is what it is. Um. Is this interesting? Um?

0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:46.320
<v Speaker 1>I had an idea, though, and this is on This

0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:50.119
<v Speaker 1>is on the listeners, and this, I feel, this is

0:17:50.320 --> 0:17:52.520
<v Speaker 1>speaks exactly to what I was talking about before, that

0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:55.200
<v Speaker 1>this is the only this is the only idea I had,

0:17:55.240 --> 0:18:02.719
<v Speaker 1>and I feel incredibly guilty even thinking it's a good idea,

0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:08.880
<v Speaker 1>which is such a classic Peter idea. Listeners, I want

0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:12.960
<v Speaker 1>to hear I'm toying with the idea of putting out

0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:18.639
<v Speaker 1>one last little episode after this, UM that's built entirely

0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:26.520
<v Speaker 1>around listener voicemails and emails about what you've gotten out

0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:29.560
<v Speaker 1>of this podcast. We have gotten out a lot. We've

0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:33.840
<v Speaker 1>learned a lot from you from talking and people right

0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:36.080
<v Speaker 1>in and say really nice things about this podcast. And

0:18:36.400 --> 0:18:41.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm wondering how it has helped you as a parent

0:18:41.400 --> 0:18:45.920
<v Speaker 1>or in a relationship. Um, and I'd love to end

0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:49.000
<v Speaker 1>the podcast with an episode that just shares all those

0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:53.480
<v Speaker 1>things remind us of your favorite which you knows, kid

0:18:53.520 --> 0:18:56.840
<v Speaker 1>pooping in a store scenarios. Well, it's more of that.

0:18:56.920 --> 0:18:59.479
<v Speaker 1>If somebody discovers this podcast when we're not making it,

0:18:59.600 --> 0:19:03.680
<v Speaker 1>then the first episode they find is the summation of

0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:08.400
<v Speaker 1>all the helpful things that our listeners have pulled from

0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:15.120
<v Speaker 1>two years parent ramblings. Yeah, I mean, I don't some

0:19:15.160 --> 0:19:17.400
<v Speaker 1>people might have found some helpful things. Some people might

0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:20.960
<v Speaker 1>have just laughed at us, and that's fine too. That's

0:19:20.960 --> 0:19:25.200
<v Speaker 1>also helpful in its own way. Sure. I think most

0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:29.640
<v Speaker 1>people just enjoy feeling not alone. Yeah, Like, I think

0:19:29.680 --> 0:19:31.879
<v Speaker 1>at the end of the day, this podcast is just

0:19:31.960 --> 0:19:35.639
<v Speaker 1>sort of like showing us as a visible mess and

0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:38.880
<v Speaker 1>saying like that's okay, that's what parenthood looks like all

0:19:38.880 --> 0:19:42.920
<v Speaker 1>the time for everybody. Yeah, and if we just get

0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:47.240
<v Speaker 1>forty emails that all say that yeah, or you can

0:19:47.280 --> 0:19:50.840
<v Speaker 1>send us like a little voice memo we can play.

0:19:50.880 --> 0:19:53.720
<v Speaker 1>We're happy to just hear any little snippets of what

0:19:53.840 --> 0:20:02.000
<v Speaker 1>you found fund and four lessons from me. See couple four.

0:20:02.600 --> 0:20:08.040
<v Speaker 1>That's how many episodes we have done. Episode Um, so

0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:11.160
<v Speaker 1>no joke. It would mean a lot to us if

0:20:11.200 --> 0:20:13.840
<v Speaker 1>you took a second to really thing about what is

0:20:13.880 --> 0:20:16.960
<v Speaker 1>something concrete? Um, how a my different now as a

0:20:17.040 --> 0:20:20.720
<v Speaker 1>parent because of different now for better or for worse,

0:20:21.400 --> 0:20:24.840
<v Speaker 1>as a partner, as a parent, as a person. Um.

0:20:24.840 --> 0:20:28.840
<v Speaker 1>From going on this journey with us, What do you

0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:32.120
<v Speaker 1>think is like the most important message of this podcast?

0:20:32.119 --> 0:20:41.480
<v Speaker 1>Do you think communicating for me? Yes, a dent is

0:20:41.640 --> 0:20:50.720
<v Speaker 1>learning learning how to listen. Learning how to listen is

0:20:50.760 --> 0:20:56.680
<v Speaker 1>really big for you. Yeah. Um, I like probably anyone

0:20:56.720 --> 0:20:58.840
<v Speaker 1>who's listened to this has heard this before, but like

0:20:58.920 --> 0:21:01.120
<v Speaker 1>I on the opposite end of the spectrum, I'm always

0:21:01.160 --> 0:21:05.400
<v Speaker 1>trying to stop being so tuned into everyone and take

0:21:05.440 --> 0:21:07.640
<v Speaker 1>care of myself. And I feel like that is like

0:21:07.960 --> 0:21:12.280
<v Speaker 1>one of my biggest messages to moms out there. You know,

0:21:12.359 --> 0:21:18.080
<v Speaker 1>people who have experienced especially pregnancy and breastfeeding and any

0:21:18.080 --> 0:21:22.520
<v Speaker 1>of that any of the emotional labor that gets lumped

0:21:22.520 --> 0:21:26.159
<v Speaker 1>on women most of the time. And I my my

0:21:26.280 --> 0:21:30.639
<v Speaker 1>big takeaway thing I try to impart to other moms

0:21:30.760 --> 0:21:33.920
<v Speaker 1>is just like, it's not a bad thing to take

0:21:34.000 --> 0:21:38.440
<v Speaker 1>care of yourself. It's it's actually incredibly important that you

0:21:38.520 --> 0:21:40.919
<v Speaker 1>take care of yourself and get rest and food and

0:21:40.920 --> 0:21:45.159
<v Speaker 1>whatever you need. Um, an hour of alone time a

0:21:45.240 --> 0:21:48.600
<v Speaker 1>day to stay sane. It's it makes you a better mom,

0:21:48.840 --> 0:21:53.240
<v Speaker 1>and it makes you a better person to be around. Um.

0:21:53.280 --> 0:21:57.480
<v Speaker 1>And that's my big thing. I have one other thing, well,

0:21:57.920 --> 0:21:59.960
<v Speaker 1>that was I think the big lesson for me per

0:22:00.600 --> 0:22:02.439
<v Speaker 1>and I know, I know that doesn't necessarily apply to

0:22:02.480 --> 0:22:06.320
<v Speaker 1>like all moms and marriages and partnerships, but that's just

0:22:06.440 --> 0:22:10.800
<v Speaker 1>my yeah thing. Anyway, I think the big lesson of

0:22:10.880 --> 0:22:17.040
<v Speaker 1>this podcast as a whole is, as parents, do the

0:22:17.040 --> 0:22:22.919
<v Speaker 1>best you can, stay positive and forgive yourself. Yeah. And

0:22:22.960 --> 0:22:27.280
<v Speaker 1>I think, especially like in this coronavirus era, it's almost

0:22:27.280 --> 0:22:30.679
<v Speaker 1>it's it's obviously harder in a million ways, but also

0:22:30.800 --> 0:22:35.520
<v Speaker 1>I think there's something easier about like being like, oh, okay,

0:22:35.560 --> 0:22:38.000
<v Speaker 1>someone pete on the floor. It was maybe a dog

0:22:38.080 --> 0:22:40.600
<v Speaker 1>or a kid, but there's like a bigger fish to

0:22:40.640 --> 0:22:45.359
<v Speaker 1>fry and it's like it's in some ways easier to

0:22:45.520 --> 0:22:48.359
<v Speaker 1>roll with that of like, like since we've been on

0:22:48.520 --> 0:22:51.720
<v Speaker 1>quarantine and we're with our kids seven it's like they're

0:22:51.760 --> 0:22:55.920
<v Speaker 1>always running up to me with jam all over their

0:22:55.960 --> 0:22:58.160
<v Speaker 1>faces and like hugging me and wiping it all over

0:22:58.240 --> 0:23:02.040
<v Speaker 1>my shirt, and like these days that kind of stuff,

0:23:02.080 --> 0:23:07.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm sort of like, okay, Like I just like we've

0:23:07.080 --> 0:23:12.199
<v Speaker 1>pushed past a lot of jam based a lot of

0:23:12.240 --> 0:23:15.280
<v Speaker 1>p in this house lately and we've got through it.

0:23:16.359 --> 0:23:20.600
<v Speaker 1>Mavens um sort of resistance being as as we've said

0:23:20.960 --> 0:23:29.520
<v Speaker 1>on this podcast. So, UM, here's where we are in

0:23:29.560 --> 0:23:33.200
<v Speaker 1>our life. UM, maybe we'll leave you with this. We're

0:23:33.200 --> 0:23:36.600
<v Speaker 1>in quarantine, We're in a house that's not ours. We're

0:23:36.640 --> 0:23:41.320
<v Speaker 1>we have like very questionable um future in terms of

0:23:41.400 --> 0:23:44.160
<v Speaker 1>where we're living, and we're sorting that out, and we're

0:23:44.320 --> 0:23:47.560
<v Speaker 1>um still haven't closed on our new house in Brooklyn.

0:23:47.560 --> 0:23:49.920
<v Speaker 1>It's a nightmare. I won't get into it. But it's

0:23:49.960 --> 0:23:53.240
<v Speaker 1>also okay because we don't need to be in Brooklyn

0:23:53.280 --> 0:23:55.199
<v Speaker 1>in the middle of a pandemic and it's all going

0:23:55.240 --> 0:23:59.359
<v Speaker 1>to be fine. So if you hear from us uh again,

0:23:59.480 --> 0:24:02.040
<v Speaker 1>we'll probably be in a very different place, or we

0:24:02.080 --> 0:24:07.520
<v Speaker 1>won't um, but yeah, you guys are the best. Thank you,

0:24:07.720 --> 0:24:11.480
<v Speaker 1>thank you. This has been the final episode of We

0:24:11.600 --> 0:24:14.439
<v Speaker 1>Knows Parenting. If you would like to write in to

0:24:14.600 --> 0:24:19.159
<v Speaker 1>tell us the big thing or many things that you

0:24:19.240 --> 0:24:24.359
<v Speaker 1>have pulled from this experience, please email us and we

0:24:24.520 --> 0:24:27.960
<v Speaker 1>knows pot at gmail dot com. Yeah, send us a

0:24:28.040 --> 0:24:30.879
<v Speaker 1>voice moment there if you want to talk out loud

0:24:30.920 --> 0:24:32.719
<v Speaker 1>to us, or you can leave us a voicemail at

0:24:32.760 --> 0:24:36.320
<v Speaker 1>three four seven three eight four seven three nine six

0:24:37.040 --> 0:24:40.359
<v Speaker 1>um social media if who cares? You don't need to

0:24:40.359 --> 0:24:43.679
<v Speaker 1>follow us anymore. You know rate and reviews, Fine, it

0:24:43.680 --> 0:24:46.359
<v Speaker 1>doesn't matter. If nothing matters anymore, write it's an email.

0:24:46.400 --> 0:24:47.600
<v Speaker 1>We want to hear from you. We don't need the

0:24:47.640 --> 0:24:50.200
<v Speaker 1>rest of that stuff any Do you recommend my book

0:24:50.200 --> 0:24:53.399
<v Speaker 1>to your pregnant friends. There's no manual, honest and gory

0:24:53.440 --> 0:24:57.560
<v Speaker 1>wisdom about having a baby. You can find Peter on

0:24:57.600 --> 0:25:04.359
<v Speaker 1>All Things Story Pirates, Story Pirates come uh Saturday nights,

0:25:04.800 --> 0:25:08.760
<v Speaker 1>Trike the Magnet Theater dot com, reductress dot com. We

0:25:08.840 --> 0:25:13.120
<v Speaker 1>have a live show once a month. Yeah, I'm even

0:25:13.160 --> 0:25:15.879
<v Speaker 1>watch on Zoom doing live shows. Every Friday night was

0:25:15.880 --> 0:25:20.439
<v Speaker 1>strit and every Saturday Night with Trike, UM Giant. Thanks

0:25:21.200 --> 0:25:23.639
<v Speaker 1>to Chuck Bryant, nicest man in the world. And to

0:25:23.760 --> 0:25:25.679
<v Speaker 1>Mates of State for doing our theme song and we

0:25:25.720 --> 0:25:28.600
<v Speaker 1>never thank you. Mates of State also for just being

0:25:28.680 --> 0:25:34.600
<v Speaker 1>good parenting examples and UM Sherry, our producer. I'm definitely

0:25:34.600 --> 0:25:37.520
<v Speaker 1>forgetting other people, UM Trevor and Miranda for putting these

0:25:37.520 --> 0:25:44.640
<v Speaker 1>episodes up and together, the listeners and most of all

0:25:44.720 --> 0:25:50.119
<v Speaker 1>you thank you all right until next time later dudes. Bye,