WEBVTT - Ep. 193 — The One Field on a Job Application You Should Never Fill Out

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, hey, hey, we're back. We're black, We're brown ambition.

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<v Speaker 1>I wish I could really just see, like how the

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<v Speaker 1>moves did I bring to the table, because I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like it's not fully appreciated without my moves.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm envisioning them. I've seen them. You're a very good dancer.

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<v Speaker 2>I actually when I picture you is wrapped up in

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<v Speaker 2>a comforter in your bed telling Superman to stop walking

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<v Speaker 2>in during our podcast recording.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like every time, and I just can't believe our

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<v Speaker 1>door creaks here too. I'm like, I thought we outgrew

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<v Speaker 1>the creaking door. No other door in the house creaks.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like they know that we do a podcast here.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like just a little creek.

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<v Speaker 2>How are you, mandra I can't complain. I can't complain,

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<v Speaker 2>long day at work, but I am so excited about

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<v Speaker 2>this weekend. I think we both have fun weekends coming

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<v Speaker 2>up here. You're turning feisty forty.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not.

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<v Speaker 2>We're both missing epic milestones in one another's lives.

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<v Speaker 1>I know it makes me sad you're having the baby

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<v Speaker 1>shower and.

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<v Speaker 2>The baby shower, but I'm also I feel like in

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<v Speaker 2>our alternate universes from each other. It's it's fun that

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<v Speaker 2>we're both having these really exciting major yeah, yeah, major weekends.

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<v Speaker 1>Major Yes. How many people are you expecting?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. My sister and my mom have actually

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<v Speaker 2>done a pretty good job managing everything, so probably between

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<v Speaker 2>like forty and fifty. But we're doing, Like did I

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<v Speaker 2>tell you we're doing a party?

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<v Speaker 1>Party?

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<v Speaker 2>We're not doing because listen, I love all my friends.

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<v Speaker 2>They're beautiful, they have had beautiful children. I love all

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<v Speaker 2>their children. But I have been to so many boring

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<v Speaker 2>baby showers I and I can't. I don't even like

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<v Speaker 2>people watching me open Christmas gifts, like to sit there

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<v Speaker 2>in the middle of a room at noon with like

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<v Speaker 2>little sandwiches ammosas and open gifts in front of people

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<v Speaker 2>and pretend like the fifteenth onesie is just cuter than

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<v Speaker 2>the you know, the twentieth onesie. Like, I cannot do that.

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<v Speaker 2>So I told my mom because you know, my husban's

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<v Speaker 2>family's Dominican, and I've been to a couple of Dominican

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<v Speaker 2>baby showers. They are lit lit, so they start in

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<v Speaker 2>the evening, they go all night, and I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>let me embrace my Dominican side, my new Dominican family

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<v Speaker 2>and let's just have a party. So we are having

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<v Speaker 2>the party in Inwood in his family's backyard, not their

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<v Speaker 2>literal backyard, their neighborhood, in the neighborhood at a restaurant.

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<v Speaker 2>And it should be really fun, open bar. I think

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<v Speaker 2>there might be a DJ. I don't know. I've been

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<v Speaker 2>snooping a little bit, but it should be really really fun,

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<v Speaker 2>should be a party.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that sounds awesome and to see and that's why, well,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, we're having the party because it's my forties,

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<v Speaker 1>so we're back to get down with the giddwn So yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it should be a good time. We're expecting about forty

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<v Speaker 1>to fifty people as well, so I'm excited.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, if you guys, you know, want the after party,

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<v Speaker 2>come to Inwood hop over the river and just come

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<v Speaker 2>onto the baby shower after party.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it could be a right. I feel like no

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<v Speaker 1>one's going to leave the house, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>No, those are my favorite, especially when it's your house

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<v Speaker 2>and you don't have to leave, like even to go home.

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<v Speaker 2>That's the best party.

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<v Speaker 1>No, So I you know, honestly, I don't mind the

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<v Speaker 1>one in my house either because it means that like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>when it's all said and done. I mean, yes, there's

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<v Speaker 1>clean up, but there's no driving.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, if we could fit forty people in my house,

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<v Speaker 2>I would one hundred percent be having the party there.

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<v Speaker 2>One hundred percent no, But I'm all. I mean, like,

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<v Speaker 2>when you get past your thirties and for did I

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<v Speaker 2>just burp? Did you hear that it was the baby?

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<v Speaker 2>I can't cantrol it. My organs are shifting anyway, when

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<v Speaker 2>you get past this, like your thirties and forties, like

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<v Speaker 2>these are like you need to celebrate these big moments,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, milestone birthdays and baby showers. Like any time

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<v Speaker 2>I can have a party, I'm like, let's do it.

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<v Speaker 2>Because everyone's got such busy schedules and I and it's

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<v Speaker 2>harder and harder to get together with the people that

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<v Speaker 2>I love, and I will have I will take any

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<v Speaker 2>excuse to plan a big party. So I'm so looking

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<v Speaker 2>forward to it. I see my mom like twice a year,

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<v Speaker 2>so she's coming into town and it should be should

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<v Speaker 2>be fun.

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<v Speaker 1>Tomorrow's my birthday, like my official birthday, so by the

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<v Speaker 1>time this comes out, it'll be today, So I expect

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of ads at the budget LISTA happy birthday. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I want I want you guys to burn through my battery.

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<v Speaker 1>That's just my little request. I want me tag zing

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<v Speaker 1>zing zing happy birthday, have a birthday like I love

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<v Speaker 1>when they folks take like the litse little mini recordings

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<v Speaker 1>and then they play it back and they're like listening

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<v Speaker 1>to Brown Ambition and they tag us. So just make

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<v Speaker 1>sure you do like a happy birthday, tax so I

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<v Speaker 1>can be like, look, how many people? First of all, Mandy,

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<v Speaker 1>eighty people apply to be my admin. I don't even

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<v Speaker 1>know that many of y'all listen eight now amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>That's not even including the people that I haven't sent

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<v Speaker 2>you who have gone to Instagram to ask about the job.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like, didn't follow instructions, so.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my goodness. I was like wow. Like my CEO

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<v Speaker 1>was like, what did you say? I'm like, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>So we shall see. We're still kind of like wading through.

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<v Speaker 2>Isn't it funny that you talked about that epic trip

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<v Speaker 2>that you take your team on every year and you

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<v Speaker 2>got all those applications. It's so crazy why anyone want

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<v Speaker 2>to work for you when you're doing free trips to

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<v Speaker 2>where'd you go? Arizona and Spas and shit, I want

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<v Speaker 2>to work for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Honestly, that is kind of crazy. But you're right though,

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<v Speaker 1>because I definitely there were people who are like saw

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<v Speaker 1>the trip, would love to work for you. And I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>in what capacity exists? You have sent me nothing other

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<v Speaker 1>than can you take me on a trip? Which is crazy,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, okay, what are your skills? But yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>so I think we're finally winding down with the house.

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<v Speaker 1>We I think I brought my last pillow, you know how,

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<v Speaker 1>Like you know, I tell myself all the time, like

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<v Speaker 1>this is the second time I've had like a big move,

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<v Speaker 1>and I told myself last time, Tippy, you don't need

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<v Speaker 1>to get everything right now, and then you start to

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<v Speaker 1>rush to get everything right now. And I guess because

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<v Speaker 1>I'm having a party slash house for me, I want

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<v Speaker 1>everything to be perfect. So we're just winding out. Thanks

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<v Speaker 1>shout out to Rihanna of remain Home. She's been amazing

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<v Speaker 1>to help me, like get the design, the core sattles,

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<v Speaker 1>and so there's just a few curtains to be hung

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<v Speaker 1>up and we are ready to party.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to see it. I have been asking for months,

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<v Speaker 2>even holding out on us.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's now like like the house is complete, I

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<v Speaker 1>mean outside from like you know, some curtains and stuff

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<v Speaker 1>like that. But I left Verizon today for the second time,

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<v Speaker 1>and we're back with Optimum, so I can actually use

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<v Speaker 1>my internet. Sorry rise in no shade, but shird. So

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<v Speaker 1>I feel so happy in this house. It feels like

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<v Speaker 1>a home, it feels pretty, it feels like just it

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<v Speaker 1>feels good.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm happy for you. You rank Yeah, well, we would be remiss.

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<v Speaker 2>I had needed to share. I need to share this

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<v Speaker 2>headline because we talk a lot about emergency savings and

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<v Speaker 2>people get so caught up on the rules of thumb,

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<v Speaker 2>like I need to have six months saved. I just

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<v Speaker 2>had a meeting with my financial planner last week, and

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<v Speaker 2>the numbers she gave me for what I need to

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<v Speaker 2>have saved, I was like, booh, hanging up on you. No,

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<v Speaker 2>but the number gets bigger once you have like a kid,

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<v Speaker 2>or you have you know, like a house and that

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<v Speaker 2>kind of stuff. But and I think when the numbers

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<v Speaker 2>are so huge and you don't break it down or

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<v Speaker 2>even like look at word, like, some people just get

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<v Speaker 2>hung up on the big numbers. If they take their income,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, for six months, and they're like I can

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<v Speaker 2>never save you know, ten thousand, fifteen thousand, however much

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<v Speaker 2>it is. But this recent study came out, they actually

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<v Speaker 2>surveyed like hundreds and hundreds of hundreds of family household

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<v Speaker 2>incomes and determine that really, people who have two thousand,

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<v Speaker 2>this is the exact number, two thousand, four hundred and

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<v Speaker 2>sixty seven dollars stored away, the probability of experiencing financial

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<v Speaker 2>hardship in the next six months is super low. And

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<v Speaker 2>saving every dollar saved over that doesn't really seem to

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<v Speaker 2>help reduce that probability very much. And I like this because,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, two thousand bucks. Yeah, it's a lot of money,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's attainable. And it kind of illustrates the point

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<v Speaker 2>we're always saying, like most people are are not They're

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<v Speaker 2>not dumb, they're not financially you know, they're not getting

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<v Speaker 2>into credit card debt because they're stupid or they're reckless.

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<v Speaker 2>They just don't have that cushion. And it starts with

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<v Speaker 2>that five hundred dollars car repair, or it starts with

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<v Speaker 2>that thousand dollars deductible at your health you know, you're

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<v Speaker 2>the hospital that you weren't expecting and because you don't

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<v Speaker 2>have that in the bank, you end up in that

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<v Speaker 2>debt cycle and it just snowballs and snowballs. And so

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<v Speaker 2>for me, twenty four hundred dollars, it's just kind of

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<v Speaker 2>it's a small, attainable, smallish attainable goal. And sure, it's

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<v Speaker 2>nice if you can save you know, six months worths

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<v Speaker 2>of income whatever that means for you, or even twelve

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<v Speaker 2>months or whatever. But by making that goal a lot smaller,

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<v Speaker 2>it just seems like, Okay, I can wrap my head

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<v Speaker 2>around this, I can save this much money, and you

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<v Speaker 2>can start somewhere.

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<v Speaker 1>No, that's fine. And then so who did that study? Again?

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<v Speaker 2>It was a federal what is it called, the Federal

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<v Speaker 2>Reserve Bank of Saint Louis, in conjunction with this professor

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<v Speaker 2>at some university that I cannot find right now, but

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<v Speaker 2>I'll post a link. I read this story in market

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<v Speaker 2>Watch today, Oh, University of Colorado and an economist at

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<v Speaker 2>the Federal Reserve Bank of Saint Louis.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I like that because I'm like, you know, it's

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<v Speaker 1>good to know because if that seems very daunting, like

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<v Speaker 1>I've got to say, fifty thousand dollars or twenty thousand dollars,

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<v Speaker 1>like I'm just never going to get there, so to

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<v Speaker 1>say something like that seems just so much more reasonable.

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<v Speaker 1>And you always think to yourself, like, you know, sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>where these rules of thumb come from? First of all,

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<v Speaker 1>where did the rule of thumb? What's the thumb? And

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<v Speaker 1>the rule of thumb? Like why do we even say that?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, sometimes I feel like we're all just regurgitating

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<v Speaker 1>the same thing because someone said it, and very few

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<v Speaker 1>people stop and say, well, why is that really true?

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<v Speaker 2>So I like that picture with like a a Bereton

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<v Speaker 2>in a coffee shop with the latte, like, what is

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<v Speaker 2>the thumb? And why does it have the rule? Fair question?

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<v Speaker 2>Fair question? Obviously, you know, the elephant in the room

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<v Speaker 2>and kind of the cloud that's been hanging over I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know. All the news this week has beene what

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<v Speaker 2>happened to the woman in Fort Worth who was killed

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<v Speaker 2>minding her business playing video games with her son in

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<v Speaker 2>her house? Tatiana Jefferson, Oh, her nephew, her nephew. Sorry,

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<v Speaker 2>So she was killed by a police officer. And I honestly,

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<v Speaker 2>when I read the first inotionial report, you know, you

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<v Speaker 2>wait for more information, but there it was shocking to

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<v Speaker 2>me how careless and senseless this death was. And it

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<v Speaker 2>just to happen so closely to the man who was

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<v Speaker 2>killed inside his own damn apartment by the cop who

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<v Speaker 2>barged in thinking it was her apartment. So in this case,

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<v Speaker 2>of course, immediately there were protests. But today it came

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<v Speaker 2>out earth was it last night? I forget last night?

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<v Speaker 2>Or today it came out that the officer who shot

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<v Speaker 2>this woman, a Tatiana was actually charged with murder.

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<v Speaker 1>Good which I heard that he was, that he was

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<v Speaker 1>he Well, that's what it seems like he was. He

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<v Speaker 1>resigned before he before being fired.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I don't know how you could live after.

0:11:13.200 --> 0:11:16.000
<v Speaker 2>I mean, how could you live with yourself. You'd have

0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:18.439
<v Speaker 2>to be a sociopath to have done something like that

0:11:18.600 --> 0:11:21.400
<v Speaker 2>and to not feel just crushed. I mean, his life

0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:23.960
<v Speaker 2>will be forever changed, as it should be.

0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:27.280
<v Speaker 1>But like, who just shoots through a window, Like, I

0:11:27.600 --> 0:11:28.319
<v Speaker 1>just don't.

0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:32.440
<v Speaker 2>Really poorly trained police officer? I read that, Yeah, he

0:11:32.559 --> 0:11:34.840
<v Speaker 2>was new, like he had just graduated a year before

0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:37.240
<v Speaker 2>from the police academy.

0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:39.640
<v Speaker 1>You're just shooting through a window like literally it could

0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:43.800
<v Speaker 1>have been a kid who's just standing up, or or

0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:45.560
<v Speaker 1>it just could have been It could have been a

0:11:45.559 --> 0:11:46.839
<v Speaker 1>ground like I don't.

0:11:48.679 --> 0:11:53.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I just yeah, So what's the advice? Just if

0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:56.959
<v Speaker 2>you're black in America and don't want to get shot, you.

0:11:56.920 --> 0:11:59.360
<v Speaker 1>Can't even stay home. It's crazy, like he can't even

0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:02.480
<v Speaker 1>stay home. Honestly, here's my advice for folks. Stop calling

0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:03.400
<v Speaker 1>the police off black people.

0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:07.760
<v Speaker 2>Well, I don't know who the neighbor who called the police.

0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:11.000
<v Speaker 2>It sounded in one report it sounded like he was

0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:14.400
<v Speaker 2>potentially like a homeless person. And I don't know what

0:12:14.640 --> 0:12:16.439
<v Speaker 2>his race is or anything like that. I don't think

0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:19.320
<v Speaker 2>any I haven't read an article that identifies him, but

0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:21.719
<v Speaker 2>it seemed like, I mean, he didn't call nine one one.

0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:25.360
<v Speaker 2>He just called like the general hotline saying, Hey, I

0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:27.760
<v Speaker 2>passed by this house. I noticed her. Maybe he like,

0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:29.760
<v Speaker 2>I think he might have known her and her nephew

0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:33.320
<v Speaker 2>and was concerned and thought he would call the cops

0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:37.240
<v Speaker 2>for help. And I mean he must be devastated because

0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:40.200
<v Speaker 2>without that phone call, she could very well still be alive.

0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:43.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but this police officer honestly was likely going to

0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:45.960
<v Speaker 1>because if you react this way, he was going to

0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:46.520
<v Speaker 1>react this way.

0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:50.560
<v Speaker 2>Again, No, that's that's true, And who the hell is

0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:54.839
<v Speaker 2>training these officers, Like that's really yes, of course this

0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:58.959
<v Speaker 2>person holds responsibility, but who are we try, Like, who's

0:12:59.000 --> 0:13:01.040
<v Speaker 2>training these people on how to do these types of

0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:03.280
<v Speaker 2>how to answer these types of calls. I would like

0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:06.000
<v Speaker 2>to believe that a neighbor looking out for my house

0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:08.640
<v Speaker 2>and see something suspicious calling the cops, that it would

0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:10.880
<v Speaker 2>end okay, that they would be a wellness check or

0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:13.319
<v Speaker 2>a welfare check or whatever, and that cops would be

0:13:13.360 --> 0:13:16.160
<v Speaker 2>able to execute those properly. But clearly in Fort Worth

0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:18.720
<v Speaker 2>they are not training their people properly, And I feel

0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:21.240
<v Speaker 2>like this needs to go beyond just the officer getting fired,

0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:25.000
<v Speaker 2>but like turn upside down the entire system that put

0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:29.400
<v Speaker 2>him in that position in the first place. This news

0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:31.400
<v Speaker 2>is always really hard, and I think because it came

0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:33.520
<v Speaker 2>so closely after the death of that man, or the

0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:38.760
<v Speaker 2>trial and the verdict of the policewoman who was sentenced

0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:41.560
<v Speaker 2>to ten years for murdering the man in his apartment,

0:13:42.600 --> 0:13:44.719
<v Speaker 2>just so back to back. I mean, it's just I

0:13:44.760 --> 0:13:51.840
<v Speaker 2>don't know, I read the news, I have my feelings

0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:53.640
<v Speaker 2>about it, but as far as like what can we

0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:56.679
<v Speaker 2>do now, that's the part I always kind of struggle with.

0:13:57.440 --> 0:14:01.200
<v Speaker 2>But I do think talking about it. We're ready. So

0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:02.920
<v Speaker 2>it's been a few days when we're ready to finally

0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:07.240
<v Speaker 2>talk about it, you know, acknowledge that it happened, acknowledge

0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:10.200
<v Speaker 2>their names. That's at least a step in the right direction.

0:14:10.960 --> 0:14:13.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it is. It's just wow.

0:14:14.520 --> 0:14:17.560
<v Speaker 2>Well instead of instead of jumping into questions, you know,

0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:19.680
<v Speaker 2>because I just kind of we ended buzzworthy on it

0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:22.000
<v Speaker 2>on the somber note, why don't we have a bit

0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:23.400
<v Speaker 2>of a pick me up? And I have a perfect

0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:25.600
<v Speaker 2>way to pick us up real quick. So last week

0:14:25.640 --> 0:14:28.240
<v Speaker 2>on our show, we talked about our wildest dreams. I'm

0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:33.320
<v Speaker 2>still sweaty thinking about my wildest dream and like it's it's,

0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:35.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, putting yourself out there saying what you want

0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:36.960
<v Speaker 2>to do with your life or your your wildest dream

0:14:37.320 --> 0:14:39.440
<v Speaker 2>And we asked you guys to share with us your

0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:42.880
<v Speaker 2>wildest dreams. And you know, if if you had no limitations,

0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:45.600
<v Speaker 2>what would you do? And we got dozens of messages

0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:48.600
<v Speaker 2>on Instagram, We got a couple of emails, and I

0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:50.200
<v Speaker 2>thought I could go through real quick and share some

0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:50.560
<v Speaker 2>of them.

0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:53.240
<v Speaker 1>Ooh, I love that. Yeah, let's do that.

0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:56.560
<v Speaker 2>That's okay with you? Okay, So here we go. First,

0:14:56.600 --> 0:15:01.520
<v Speaker 2>one comes from Instagram fan Air Vegan. She says, my

0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:03.680
<v Speaker 2>dream is to no longer work in sales, but work

0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:05.760
<v Speaker 2>for myself and grow a business that gets me out

0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:08.440
<v Speaker 2>of debt and helps grow other businesses.

0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:12.040
<v Speaker 1>Love that, Yes, that is awesome.

0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:15.680
<v Speaker 2>Next one comes from at Neela Mack. Her dream is

0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:18.680
<v Speaker 2>to retire in ten years and she looks pretty young.

0:15:18.800 --> 0:15:21.160
<v Speaker 2>So listen, if you get there, write a book and

0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:21.680
<v Speaker 2>I'll buy it.

0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:25.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's awesome. Okay, okay, keep in comment, and.

0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:27.560
<v Speaker 2>Mela Max says, by the way, Mandy, you're awesome. I

0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:32.280
<v Speaker 2>can't wait to see your play. Oh, sweaty, sweaty okay.

0:15:32.360 --> 0:15:35.200
<v Speaker 2>Next one comes from Instagram user butters one fifty eight.

0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:37.720
<v Speaker 2>My hashtag my wildest dream. I would love to own

0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:40.200
<v Speaker 2>my own professional soccer team in Europe and make them

0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:41.800
<v Speaker 2>a worldwide brand.

0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:43.720
<v Speaker 1>That's awesome.

0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:46.480
<v Speaker 2>That is making my dream look like nothing.

0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:48.920
<v Speaker 1>No, and also I love how specific you are, which

0:15:48.960 --> 0:15:49.640
<v Speaker 1>is always really good.

0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:55.640
<v Speaker 2>Let's see on Instagram too. Christy Dno says, listening to

0:15:55.680 --> 0:15:57.800
<v Speaker 2>the podcast this morning, and I can one hundred percent

0:15:57.800 --> 0:16:00.880
<v Speaker 2>see Mandy writing a play. You know how much you

0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:05.280
<v Speaker 2>love Broadway. Please use your maternity leave to get it going. Okay,

0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:06.640
<v Speaker 2>that's a lot of pressure.

0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:08.600
<v Speaker 1>It is because you know this is going to be

0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:10.160
<v Speaker 1>a baby involved during maternity lead.

0:16:11.480 --> 0:16:14.440
<v Speaker 2>But like they sleep sometimes, right, I could write a play.

0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:17.280
<v Speaker 1>Well, you never know, honestly. I've heard some moms say,

0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:19.840
<v Speaker 1>oh my gosh, girl twenty four hours, and some moms

0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:21.760
<v Speaker 1>say there's a lot of downtime. So you just never

0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:22.560
<v Speaker 1>know how it's going to go.

0:16:24.000 --> 0:16:27.200
<v Speaker 2>We'll see, we'll see. All right, Let's take one from email.

0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:30.280
<v Speaker 2>So this is from a listener named Joy who emailed

0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:32.560
<v Speaker 2>us and says she's twenty three, a single mom of

0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:35.720
<v Speaker 2>a five year old girl who has severe cerebral palsy

0:16:35.720 --> 0:16:39.920
<v Speaker 2>and epilepsy. Her daughter's nonverbal, wheelchair bound, has a feeding tube,

0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:43.000
<v Speaker 2>and she honestly had to step up and learned at

0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:44.760
<v Speaker 2>twenty three years old how to take care of a

0:16:44.800 --> 0:16:48.360
<v Speaker 2>daughter with special needs, didn't find any really good resources,

0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:51.520
<v Speaker 2>got a ton of misinformation, and says that her biggest, craziest,

0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:53.840
<v Speaker 2>wildest dream is to be a life coach or even

0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:55.960
<v Speaker 2>start a boot camp for parents who have no idea

0:16:55.960 --> 0:16:58.720
<v Speaker 2>what they're doing but have no other choice but to learn.

0:16:59.320 --> 0:17:04.000
<v Speaker 1>Ah, honestly would be amazing, especially if you honed in

0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:07.960
<v Speaker 1>on parents new parents with special needs children. I don't

0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:10.360
<v Speaker 1>think you really like I literally have never heard of

0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:13.919
<v Speaker 1>like some sort of you know, like resource or tool.

0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:18.480
<v Speaker 1>I just think that parents, you know, parents who just

0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:21.080
<v Speaker 1>find out their kids are on the spectrum for autism,

0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:26.359
<v Speaker 1>parents whose children you know, might have down syndrome, parents

0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:29.639
<v Speaker 1>who I think that parenting to a special needs child

0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:33.360
<v Speaker 1>takes another layer of love that I think most people

0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:35.879
<v Speaker 1>can never even imagine. And I think if you started

0:17:36.040 --> 0:17:38.200
<v Speaker 1>it could be just starting as simple as a Facebook

0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:40.600
<v Speaker 1>group and started from there, you'd be surprised. I say,

0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:41.280
<v Speaker 1>go for it.

0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:45.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, a thousand percent. I mean one of the one

0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:47.679
<v Speaker 2>of the commonalities with successful businesses is that you have

0:17:47.720 --> 0:17:49.720
<v Speaker 2>a problem yourself that is a pain point for you,

0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:52.080
<v Speaker 2>and you help solve that pain point for other people.

0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:55.000
<v Speaker 2>But honestly, even if you just give advice to one

0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:57.439
<v Speaker 2>person who's gone through what you went through, that is

0:17:58.119 --> 0:18:01.560
<v Speaker 2>just a huge contribution and of itself. So that's beautiful.

0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:04.320
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, Joy, Thank you guys for sharing your wildest dreams.

0:18:04.720 --> 0:18:06.679
<v Speaker 2>Send me more messages. We can read some on you know,

0:18:06.680 --> 0:18:08.680
<v Speaker 2>I won't read them all, but we can on Today

0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:10.600
<v Speaker 2>Show anyway, but we can read them next week and

0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:13.119
<v Speaker 2>the week after that, hit us up at Brand Ambition

0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:16.720
<v Speaker 2>Podcast on Instagram, email us at Brand Ambition Podcast at

0:18:16.720 --> 0:18:19.280
<v Speaker 2>gmail dot com, or you can tweet us at the

0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:21.119
<v Speaker 2>BA podcast on Twitter.

0:18:53.680 --> 0:18:55.320
<v Speaker 1>Now it's time for questions.

0:18:56.600 --> 0:19:00.600
<v Speaker 2>Let's do it. Hmm, so many good questions week. Honestly,

0:19:00.640 --> 0:19:02.440
<v Speaker 2>you guys were on fire. I loves it. We're gonna

0:19:02.480 --> 0:19:05.720
<v Speaker 2>save some. But let's take a question from the gram

0:19:06.600 --> 0:19:09.160
<v Speaker 2>Let's see. Oh, this one's good. Okay, let's leave her anonymous.

0:19:09.200 --> 0:19:11.280
<v Speaker 2>She says, Hey, Mandy and Tiffany, I'm searching for a

0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:13.960
<v Speaker 2>new job and many of the posts ask about my

0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:17.000
<v Speaker 2>salary expectation. I want to make more than I make

0:19:17.000 --> 0:19:19.520
<v Speaker 2>in my current position. So should I ask for ten

0:19:19.640 --> 0:19:22.120
<v Speaker 2>percent more across the board? Or is there a website

0:19:22.119 --> 0:19:24.200
<v Speaker 2>I should use to determine the salary range for each

0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:27.000
<v Speaker 2>position that I'm applying for. Thank you, and I love

0:19:27.040 --> 0:19:27.359
<v Speaker 2>the show.

0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:30.480
<v Speaker 1>Feel like this is your thing? Mandy. What do you say?

0:19:31.000 --> 0:19:33.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so I think the idea. So it sounds like

0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:35.880
<v Speaker 2>she's gonna be searching for jobs that are not all

0:19:35.880 --> 0:19:38.080
<v Speaker 2>the same. So I do think it's smart for you

0:19:38.119 --> 0:19:40.480
<v Speaker 2>to check out some sites like payscale dot com or

0:19:40.560 --> 0:19:44.359
<v Speaker 2>glassdoor dot com and be location specific to whatever city

0:19:44.359 --> 0:19:47.000
<v Speaker 2>you're applying for, because city does matter, and kind of

0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:50.440
<v Speaker 2>get a sense of what salary ranges are. If you're

0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:52.919
<v Speaker 2>working in a field right now that's not similar to

0:19:52.920 --> 0:19:55.400
<v Speaker 2>what you're applying for, it's more difficult for you to judge.

0:19:56.000 --> 0:19:57.600
<v Speaker 2>You know, you can't just slap ten percent on your

0:19:57.640 --> 0:20:00.480
<v Speaker 2>current pay and say, Okay, I'm gonna be made a

0:20:00.520 --> 0:20:03.040
<v Speaker 2>reasonable salary. You know what if the job that you're

0:20:03.080 --> 0:20:07.080
<v Speaker 2>going into has a whole different salary range for the

0:20:07.119 --> 0:20:09.840
<v Speaker 2>area that you're in. So it sounds like research is

0:20:09.840 --> 0:20:13.920
<v Speaker 2>definitely good. Would I would not advise anyone to put

0:20:13.920 --> 0:20:15.639
<v Speaker 2>their expected salary on an application.

0:20:15.760 --> 0:20:16.199
<v Speaker 1>Skip it.

0:20:16.520 --> 0:20:18.959
<v Speaker 2>They they should not make it mandatory. I don't think

0:20:19.000 --> 0:20:21.639
<v Speaker 2>any application can make it mandatory to answer that question.

0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:24.080
<v Speaker 2>Skip it, because you know what happens. You know, I've

0:20:24.119 --> 0:20:26.280
<v Speaker 2>hired a lot of people. When you put that number down,

0:20:26.320 --> 0:20:28.359
<v Speaker 2>it gives us a starting place, and we may have

0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:30.600
<v Speaker 2>a big budget, and if you're at the bottom end

0:20:30.600 --> 0:20:34.400
<v Speaker 2>of that budget, we'll start negotiating from there. Like if

0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:37.960
<v Speaker 2>you say, I'm I expect sixty five and the role

0:20:38.280 --> 0:20:41.040
<v Speaker 2>you know is seventy five to eighty five range, we

0:20:41.119 --> 0:20:44.800
<v Speaker 2>might just say okay, sixty eight. You're excited, Yay, sixty eight.

0:20:44.840 --> 0:20:47.880
<v Speaker 2>I got more than I asked for. But it's good

0:20:47.880 --> 0:20:50.440
<v Speaker 2>for us because it's underneath our budget, under our budget,

0:20:51.400 --> 0:20:54.320
<v Speaker 2>but bad for you. So I would I would put

0:20:54.320 --> 0:20:56.280
<v Speaker 2>the ball as much as you can in the hiring

0:20:56.359 --> 0:20:59.720
<v Speaker 2>manager or the hr REPS court, dance around it. If

0:20:59.720 --> 0:21:02.840
<v Speaker 2>you can't skirt the issue, try and make them give

0:21:02.880 --> 0:21:06.239
<v Speaker 2>you a number for what they think the expectation is

0:21:06.280 --> 0:21:07.800
<v Speaker 2>for the salary for that role, what they think the

0:21:08.280 --> 0:21:11.080
<v Speaker 2>role is worth, and see what they come back with.

0:21:11.280 --> 0:21:15.400
<v Speaker 2>But don't give them the benefit of firing. I can't

0:21:15.440 --> 0:21:18.040
<v Speaker 2>think of the right analogy. I don't know, shooting the

0:21:18.040 --> 0:21:21.040
<v Speaker 2>first hoop, I'm bad at this today, whatever, making the

0:21:21.040 --> 0:21:23.360
<v Speaker 2>first move. As far as naming a number.

0:21:24.680 --> 0:21:26.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, no, I think that that's good advice on this

0:21:26.440 --> 0:21:28.080
<v Speaker 1>because you just never know. I think even what i'm

0:21:28.119 --> 0:21:33.240
<v Speaker 1>negotiating with, like people who want a sponsor or whatever

0:21:33.280 --> 0:21:35.440
<v Speaker 1>something that I'm doing, I try to put the ball

0:21:35.480 --> 0:21:37.080
<v Speaker 1>on their court to see like kind of like what

0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:39.360
<v Speaker 1>number they give, and then then I push up from

0:21:39.359 --> 0:21:42.280
<v Speaker 1>there because you'd be surprised. There's been times when I'm like, wait,

0:21:42.280 --> 0:21:45.480
<v Speaker 1>what how much? I was gonna say half.

0:21:45.280 --> 0:21:48.120
<v Speaker 2>That, but okay, you know so, no exactly.

0:21:48.480 --> 0:21:50.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's good advice.

0:21:50.600 --> 0:21:53.000
<v Speaker 2>And I've seen too many people take the first offer

0:21:53.080 --> 0:21:57.680
<v Speaker 2>too quickly, too quickly. I mean good again, good for us.

0:21:57.800 --> 0:21:59.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm like playing two roles here. I love as a

0:21:59.800 --> 0:22:01.959
<v Speaker 2>high are your manager. You want it to be an

0:22:01.960 --> 0:22:06.680
<v Speaker 2>easy negotiation because it makes things move faster. There's less paperwork,

0:22:06.720 --> 0:22:08.439
<v Speaker 2>there's less back and forth, you don't have to get

0:22:08.480 --> 0:22:12.280
<v Speaker 2>special approvals. But at the same time, I will never

0:22:12.400 --> 0:22:16.639
<v Speaker 2>not negotiate myself, knowing what I know now being on

0:22:16.680 --> 0:22:19.480
<v Speaker 2>this side of things, and I wish I could reach

0:22:19.520 --> 0:22:22.960
<v Speaker 2>across the table to people, although I want in my position,

0:22:23.000 --> 0:22:24.479
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't do that if I were the one hiring

0:22:24.920 --> 0:22:27.680
<v Speaker 2>and just say, please ask for more, just ask.

0:22:27.480 --> 0:22:28.960
<v Speaker 1>For more, just do it.

0:22:28.960 --> 0:22:30.639
<v Speaker 2>Make me work for it, make me work for it,

0:22:30.680 --> 0:22:30.960
<v Speaker 2>you know.

0:22:32.640 --> 0:22:32.720
<v Speaker 1>So.

0:22:33.720 --> 0:22:36.080
<v Speaker 2>But excellent question, and good luck with the job search.

0:22:37.320 --> 0:22:39.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so it's a good times the job search too.

0:22:39.640 --> 0:22:41.480
<v Speaker 1>Because I didn't you say it's a good market. I'm

0:22:41.480 --> 0:22:43.280
<v Speaker 1>not sure, like, because I know I'm hiring and we're

0:22:43.280 --> 0:22:45.679
<v Speaker 1>always hired for something I feel like, But I feel like,

0:22:46.280 --> 0:22:48.520
<v Speaker 1>is how is it out there in the general market,

0:22:49.160 --> 0:22:49.920
<v Speaker 1>in the real world.

0:22:49.920 --> 0:22:52.119
<v Speaker 2>What are you trying to say with the with the

0:22:52.160 --> 0:22:56.560
<v Speaker 2>commonas no, well, definitely, I mean, unemployment is still at

0:22:56.640 --> 0:22:58.760
<v Speaker 2>record lows. But what's happening is you know, you know

0:22:58.800 --> 0:23:00.719
<v Speaker 2>all that talk a couple of months ago was it

0:23:01.080 --> 0:23:03.880
<v Speaker 2>of like the next recession. It feels like every two

0:23:03.920 --> 0:23:07.000
<v Speaker 2>months as someone's like, this is it, guys, the recession's coming.

0:23:07.520 --> 0:23:07.680
<v Speaker 1>Well.

0:23:07.720 --> 0:23:10.240
<v Speaker 2>The reason that talk of one of the biggest reasons

0:23:10.240 --> 0:23:12.840
<v Speaker 2>we were starting to have that fear crop up this

0:23:12.880 --> 0:23:16.960
<v Speaker 2>past summer was because in a lot of public company reports,

0:23:16.960 --> 0:23:18.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, they have to come out every quarter and

0:23:18.800 --> 0:23:21.760
<v Speaker 2>say here's how we're doing, here's where we spent our money,

0:23:21.760 --> 0:23:24.320
<v Speaker 2>here's how much debt we have, et cetera. The message

0:23:24.359 --> 0:23:26.080
<v Speaker 2>that we were getting from a lot of big companies

0:23:26.200 --> 0:23:29.080
<v Speaker 2>was they were pulling back their investment in labor, which

0:23:29.080 --> 0:23:33.560
<v Speaker 2>means they're pulling back new hires. You know, they see

0:23:33.720 --> 0:23:36.560
<v Speaker 2>that they've been on like something of a hiring spree

0:23:36.600 --> 0:23:39.040
<v Speaker 2>for the past year whatever, the past few years, and

0:23:39.080 --> 0:23:41.280
<v Speaker 2>they're like, Okay, we're going to scale things back, and

0:23:41.320 --> 0:23:43.600
<v Speaker 2>now is a signal that the labor market could be softening,

0:23:44.240 --> 0:23:46.080
<v Speaker 2>that there aren't that many there won't be that there

0:23:46.080 --> 0:23:48.080
<v Speaker 2>won't be that much investment in people in the future,

0:23:48.119 --> 0:23:50.960
<v Speaker 2>and that kind of cost them of the worry. That

0:23:51.080 --> 0:23:53.240
<v Speaker 2>being said, though, there's still tons of jobs out there,

0:23:53.800 --> 0:23:56.159
<v Speaker 2>Like there's some industries that are begging for people to

0:23:56.200 --> 0:23:59.960
<v Speaker 2>apply because they can't find and I know, as it's

0:24:00.200 --> 0:24:03.000
<v Speaker 2>anytime someone quits on my team, I'm just like, oh god,

0:24:03.160 --> 0:24:04.480
<v Speaker 2>here it goes a two month process.

0:24:04.520 --> 0:24:04.639
<v Speaker 1>You know.

0:24:04.720 --> 0:24:07.840
<v Speaker 2>It's it's hard because a lot of people have jobs

0:24:07.880 --> 0:24:10.480
<v Speaker 2>and it takes more time and longer to find them

0:24:10.480 --> 0:24:14.560
<v Speaker 2>and poach them. Yep, but it does happen shockingly when

0:24:14.560 --> 0:24:16.440
<v Speaker 2>they are unemployed and they're just you know, out there

0:24:16.720 --> 0:24:20.000
<v Speaker 2>waiting for you to pluck them up. So yeah, I

0:24:20.040 --> 0:24:21.879
<v Speaker 2>still think it's a good market if you're employed, but

0:24:21.960 --> 0:24:25.399
<v Speaker 2>just keep that in mind, Like companies are beginning to

0:24:25.440 --> 0:24:28.239
<v Speaker 2>be a little bit more conservative, so you may not

0:24:28.280 --> 0:24:30.760
<v Speaker 2>be getting you may not have quite as much leverage

0:24:30.760 --> 0:24:33.760
<v Speaker 2>as you did, you know, even six months ago, a

0:24:33.840 --> 0:24:37.080
<v Speaker 2>year ago when it comes to negotiating, if those companies

0:24:37.080 --> 0:24:38.720
<v Speaker 2>are tightening up their purse strengths when it comes to

0:24:38.800 --> 0:24:39.520
<v Speaker 2>the cost of labor.

0:24:39.640 --> 0:24:41.200
<v Speaker 1>But it's always good to like, I mean, you're out

0:24:41.240 --> 0:24:44.520
<v Speaker 1>there getting looking for a job, Mandy's giving you good advice.

0:24:45.440 --> 0:24:48.240
<v Speaker 1>Try to walk in confidence. Be really clear to me.

0:24:48.560 --> 0:24:51.840
<v Speaker 1>You should be clear about what your strengths are, because

0:24:52.080 --> 0:24:53.639
<v Speaker 1>that's what I look for, Like, you know, like what

0:24:53.680 --> 0:24:55.320
<v Speaker 1>do you feel your strengths are. I mean, we're all

0:24:55.320 --> 0:24:57.920
<v Speaker 1>NERVERU storing an interview, but I'm looking to see if

0:24:57.960 --> 0:25:01.120
<v Speaker 1>you know what your strengths are and like you're clear

0:25:01.119 --> 0:25:03.280
<v Speaker 1>about what you can bring to the table, because yes,

0:25:03.359 --> 0:25:05.520
<v Speaker 1>I know that there's something that I'm wanting, but I'm

0:25:05.520 --> 0:25:07.919
<v Speaker 1>always looking for someone who's like, yes, I can do

0:25:07.960 --> 0:25:10.119
<v Speaker 1>the one thing that you're hiring for, but do you

0:25:10.160 --> 0:25:12.600
<v Speaker 1>know I also dot dot di And I'm like, really,

0:25:13.000 --> 0:25:16.000
<v Speaker 1>I would honestly say most people that I've hired, they've

0:25:16.040 --> 0:25:18.280
<v Speaker 1>come with this extra set of skills and I'm like, oh,

0:25:18.320 --> 0:25:21.080
<v Speaker 1>that's awesome, And in my mind, I'm thinking, you know,

0:25:21.119 --> 0:25:22.840
<v Speaker 1>we could tap into that later, although I need you

0:25:22.920 --> 0:25:23.560
<v Speaker 1>for this one thing.

0:25:25.640 --> 0:25:28.040
<v Speaker 2>No, exactly one hundred percent agree.

0:25:29.160 --> 0:25:30.439
<v Speaker 1>Okay, more question.

0:25:31.119 --> 0:25:34.280
<v Speaker 2>All right, let's take another career question. Also, this person

0:25:34.359 --> 0:25:36.359
<v Speaker 2>hit hates on Atlanta, so we need to we need

0:25:36.400 --> 0:25:40.200
<v Speaker 2>to have beef, all right. So Instagram user says, call

0:25:40.240 --> 0:25:43.720
<v Speaker 2>me Nakia from Black Panther. Okay, got it, Nakia, I

0:25:43.760 --> 0:25:46.080
<v Speaker 2>am seeking some career Advice. I'm twenty five years old

0:25:46.119 --> 0:25:48.840
<v Speaker 2>and I live in Charlotte, North Carolina. Previously, I was

0:25:48.840 --> 0:25:51.879
<v Speaker 2>a mortgage loan officer making almost six figures. However, I

0:25:51.920 --> 0:25:54.800
<v Speaker 2>wanted to get out of mortgage sales, so I transition

0:25:54.920 --> 0:25:58.360
<v Speaker 2>into commercial lending and now have an analytical role where

0:25:58.400 --> 0:26:01.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm actually making less. The money isn't the issue though.

0:26:01.480 --> 0:26:03.840
<v Speaker 2>With the new job, I had to relocate to atl

0:26:04.200 --> 0:26:07.200
<v Speaker 2>which was originally supposed to be temporary, but now it's

0:26:07.240 --> 0:26:10.359
<v Speaker 2>looking like it may be permanent. I really enjoy my job,

0:26:10.480 --> 0:26:14.040
<v Speaker 2>but the thing is I hate Atlanta. Sorry, Mandy, It's okay.

0:26:15.200 --> 0:26:18.840
<v Speaker 2>I mean Charlotte ain't that great, but whatever. My company

0:26:18.880 --> 0:26:20.960
<v Speaker 2>is going through a merger and will now be offering

0:26:21.080 --> 0:26:23.760
<v Speaker 2>a pension. If you were me, would you stick it

0:26:23.800 --> 0:26:25.639
<v Speaker 2>out to get the pension in the city you hate,

0:26:26.040 --> 0:26:27.960
<v Speaker 2>or would you accept an offer to go back into

0:26:28.000 --> 0:26:31.720
<v Speaker 2>mortgage sales just to get back to Charlotte. For more context,

0:26:31.800 --> 0:26:34.480
<v Speaker 2>I own a home in Charlotte. Plus my longtime boyfriend

0:26:34.600 --> 0:26:40.359
<v Speaker 2>of three years is still in Charlotte. Uh, I feel

0:26:40.359 --> 0:26:43.280
<v Speaker 2>like go to Charlotte. I'm going to say that, like,

0:26:43.760 --> 0:26:46.040
<v Speaker 2>I mean, a pension's nice, but it has you need

0:26:46.080 --> 0:26:47.840
<v Speaker 2>to like work there for a long time to qualify

0:26:47.920 --> 0:26:51.480
<v Speaker 2>for it. Probably, you know, they could, I don't know.

0:26:51.760 --> 0:26:53.159
<v Speaker 2>It just seems like you have so much of a

0:26:53.240 --> 0:26:54.200
<v Speaker 2>life in Charlotte.

0:26:54.400 --> 0:26:56.159
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and also too, I mean this is I mean

0:26:56.160 --> 0:26:58.679
<v Speaker 1>it's not common, but I definitely have heard of like

0:26:58.760 --> 0:27:01.600
<v Speaker 1>cases where you know, a company has run out of money,

0:27:01.680 --> 0:27:03.840
<v Speaker 1>so their pension has bank was bankrupt so they weren't

0:27:03.840 --> 0:27:05.959
<v Speaker 1>able to pay out anymore. I would hate for you

0:27:06.040 --> 0:27:11.200
<v Speaker 1>to wrap your whole life in choices around this pension

0:27:11.880 --> 0:27:15.280
<v Speaker 1>when there's nothing that's guaranteed. And I just think you

0:27:15.320 --> 0:27:17.280
<v Speaker 1>should just go for the life that you want now,

0:27:17.840 --> 0:27:22.320
<v Speaker 1>not necessarily like hopefully somehow maybe especially since you can

0:27:22.400 --> 0:27:25.159
<v Speaker 1>just kind of create your own pension by having a

0:27:25.200 --> 0:27:28.680
<v Speaker 1>retirement account that you put money into. Yeah.

0:27:28.720 --> 0:27:33.560
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, And you know, a pension it almost for it's

0:27:33.560 --> 0:27:35.719
<v Speaker 2>so old school. I'm surprised or even adding a pension now,

0:27:35.760 --> 0:27:38.080
<v Speaker 2>it's very surprising to me. But it also I think

0:27:38.080 --> 0:27:40.919
<v Speaker 2>it creates a sense of, oh, I'm loyal to the company,

0:27:40.920 --> 0:27:43.159
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna stay here because I have this pension, and

0:27:43.200 --> 0:27:45.119
<v Speaker 2>you're kind of and TIFFs right, you can create your

0:27:45.119 --> 0:27:48.359
<v Speaker 2>own pension easily by investing your own and you're on

0:27:48.760 --> 0:27:50.720
<v Speaker 2>You're only twenty five, so.

0:27:50.840 --> 0:27:52.719
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, girl, you do not want that pension by

0:27:52.760 --> 0:27:54.840
<v Speaker 1>the time, it's usually like twenty five years, So you're

0:27:54.840 --> 0:27:58.359
<v Speaker 1>gonna stay in Atlanta for twenty five years. So you

0:27:58.359 --> 0:28:03.720
<v Speaker 1>could be like, I've got a pench No boom right,

0:28:04.000 --> 0:28:06.520
<v Speaker 1>you got should boo your house, your life. You don't

0:28:06.560 --> 0:28:10.040
<v Speaker 1>like Atlanta. So you're super young. I don't want you

0:28:10.080 --> 0:28:14.600
<v Speaker 1>to like make choices, especially when you're really young. You know,

0:28:14.800 --> 0:28:16.840
<v Speaker 1>now is the time to make choices that are really

0:28:16.880 --> 0:28:18.919
<v Speaker 1>in alignment with how you want to live your life.

0:28:19.040 --> 0:28:20.560
<v Speaker 1>As you get a little bit older and you have

0:28:20.960 --> 0:28:24.000
<v Speaker 1>other responsibilities you have to take into account kids and

0:28:24.080 --> 0:28:27.040
<v Speaker 1>maybe you know your your significant other as far as

0:28:27.040 --> 0:28:29.679
<v Speaker 1>like marriage concerned and some other things. But when you're

0:28:29.720 --> 0:28:32.440
<v Speaker 1>super young, you really have more flexibility to just be like,

0:28:32.480 --> 0:28:33.600
<v Speaker 1>I just want to do it because that's what I

0:28:33.600 --> 0:28:36.160
<v Speaker 1>feel like, like, take advantage of that, lean into that.

0:28:36.640 --> 0:28:38.920
<v Speaker 2>And I would just congratulate you on doing what you

0:28:38.920 --> 0:28:40.920
<v Speaker 2>should do in your twenties, which is making a career

0:28:40.960 --> 0:28:43.440
<v Speaker 2>pivot because you have such like you don't have strings

0:28:43.440 --> 0:28:45.040
<v Speaker 2>attached right now, you don't have a family that you're

0:28:45.120 --> 0:28:47.840
<v Speaker 2>dragging around with you you have the opportunity to shift

0:28:47.840 --> 0:28:50.600
<v Speaker 2>and pivot, try something different because you realize, oh, this

0:28:50.640 --> 0:28:52.760
<v Speaker 2>first job that I have I'm not happy with. So

0:28:52.840 --> 0:28:55.600
<v Speaker 2>you're really brave to take this new opportunity and try

0:28:55.600 --> 0:28:57.880
<v Speaker 2>something different. And what if you learned you love your

0:28:57.920 --> 0:28:59.680
<v Speaker 2>new job, you just don't love where you are. So

0:28:59.760 --> 0:29:02.240
<v Speaker 2>let's pivot to a different location and see if you

0:29:02.240 --> 0:29:04.880
<v Speaker 2>can get a job in Charlotte. I know you probably can.

0:29:05.040 --> 0:29:07.800
<v Speaker 2>Like Charlotte's popping right now, there's the banking industry is

0:29:07.880 --> 0:29:10.680
<v Speaker 2>huge in Charlotte. Actually, my company is based in Charlotte.

0:29:10.840 --> 0:29:14.480
<v Speaker 2>There's so many financial institutions, Bank of America, allies in Charlotte.

0:29:14.520 --> 0:29:16.360
<v Speaker 2>I mean, and they all got you know, I got

0:29:16.360 --> 0:29:18.920
<v Speaker 2>my mortgage through Ally. I know they offer mortgages. So

0:29:19.000 --> 0:29:22.000
<v Speaker 2>maybe there is a job waiting for you in Charlotte

0:29:22.040 --> 0:29:24.560
<v Speaker 2>that now that you know what you love doing, you

0:29:24.600 --> 0:29:26.800
<v Speaker 2>can get everything you know, or at least a few

0:29:26.800 --> 0:29:29.960
<v Speaker 2>things that you want. Get your booth, an, get your house,

0:29:30.200 --> 0:29:31.920
<v Speaker 2>and get the job that you're really happy with in

0:29:31.960 --> 0:29:33.160
<v Speaker 2>the place where your happiest.

0:29:33.920 --> 0:29:35.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, go back to Charlotte.

0:29:35.840 --> 0:29:37.160
<v Speaker 2>Go back to Charlotte.

0:29:37.600 --> 0:29:40.880
<v Speaker 1>So those are great questions. Honestly, I love when you

0:29:40.920 --> 0:29:47.240
<v Speaker 1>guys ask us questions about career, about your home, about finances. Honestly,

0:29:47.280 --> 0:29:49.400
<v Speaker 1>me and Mandy love answering all of them, so keep

0:29:49.440 --> 0:30:08.400
<v Speaker 1>them coming. And now it's time boys and girls, well

0:30:08.400 --> 0:30:11.880
<v Speaker 1>mostly girls, for that part of our segment where it's

0:30:11.920 --> 0:30:14.479
<v Speaker 1>time to boost to break. Maybe are you going to

0:30:14.480 --> 0:30:16.280
<v Speaker 1>boost or are you going to break?

0:30:16.720 --> 0:30:18.800
<v Speaker 2>There were so many personalities you just shifted through it.

0:30:18.880 --> 0:30:20.120
<v Speaker 2>I did.

0:30:19.880 --> 0:30:22.000
<v Speaker 1>I was trying to decide if I was gonna break

0:30:22.000 --> 0:30:22.680
<v Speaker 1>out the song.

0:30:22.520 --> 0:30:24.520
<v Speaker 2>And then I was like, you know what, No, I'm

0:30:24.520 --> 0:30:28.040
<v Speaker 2>not gonna You went with like game show hosts, Okay,

0:30:28.680 --> 0:30:30.520
<v Speaker 2>I want to do a boost. I want to do

0:30:30.520 --> 0:30:32.480
<v Speaker 2>a boost real quick. Well a boost and a break again.

0:30:32.520 --> 0:30:35.000
<v Speaker 2>I just am so conflicted. So the boost is I

0:30:35.080 --> 0:30:38.000
<v Speaker 2>discovered through my insurance plan because I was poking around

0:30:38.080 --> 0:30:41.560
<v Speaker 2>the website for my insurance and looking really hard for

0:30:41.640 --> 0:30:46.920
<v Speaker 2>like benefits for prenatal care or new parent care or

0:30:46.960 --> 0:30:49.520
<v Speaker 2>anything like that, and I found out I could get

0:30:49.520 --> 0:30:53.400
<v Speaker 2>a free two hundred dollars breast pump with a huge

0:30:53.440 --> 0:30:56.280
<v Speaker 2>supply of bags, which I have heard from moms are

0:30:56.400 --> 0:30:58.160
<v Speaker 2>very important. It's very important to have the bags. I

0:30:58.160 --> 0:31:00.080
<v Speaker 2>don't know what they're for. I'm assuming to catch the

0:31:00.160 --> 0:31:03.360
<v Speaker 2>receptacle for the milk. But whatever, I'm learning, I just

0:31:03.360 --> 0:31:06.800
<v Speaker 2>save two hundred dollars by getting this from through my insurance.

0:31:06.880 --> 0:31:09.880
<v Speaker 2>And that's true, right, And I literally just call the number.

0:31:10.080 --> 0:31:12.560
<v Speaker 2>It was through CBS care Mark. I was like, hello,

0:31:12.880 --> 0:31:14.600
<v Speaker 2>I heard I could get a free breast pump. They

0:31:14.600 --> 0:31:17.720
<v Speaker 2>were like, yes, you can, ma'am right, and they shipped

0:31:17.760 --> 0:31:20.680
<v Speaker 2>it to me in less than a week. And I

0:31:20.680 --> 0:31:23.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, do more people like if you are a

0:31:23.560 --> 0:31:26.440
<v Speaker 2>new parent or I don't know, if you just look

0:31:26.440 --> 0:31:28.520
<v Speaker 2>at your insurance and see what freebies you have. I

0:31:28.520 --> 0:31:30.800
<v Speaker 2>found out I can, I could. I could have gotten

0:31:30.840 --> 0:31:34.000
<v Speaker 2>reimbursed for some of the prenatal yoga classes that I've done.

0:31:34.560 --> 0:31:37.520
<v Speaker 2>So I'm trying to get that, uh, get that, get

0:31:37.520 --> 0:31:40.400
<v Speaker 2>those wheels into motion. And then I found out that

0:31:40.400 --> 0:31:41.800
<v Speaker 2>I can. I was about to sign up for a

0:31:41.840 --> 0:31:45.240
<v Speaker 2>breastfeeding and lactation class. I can get I can get

0:31:45.240 --> 0:31:47.360
<v Speaker 2>that reimbursed if I if I use the right kind

0:31:47.360 --> 0:31:50.120
<v Speaker 2>of consultant or whatever. Just like they don't send you

0:31:50.160 --> 0:31:52.120
<v Speaker 2>a packet in the mail when you become pregnant with

0:31:52.120 --> 0:31:54.640
<v Speaker 2>all this information. You have to really go digging for it.

0:31:54.680 --> 0:31:57.720
<v Speaker 2>So the boost is for the freebies. The break is

0:31:57.760 --> 0:32:00.360
<v Speaker 2>for they don't make it easy for you to find them.

0:32:00.760 --> 0:32:03.480
<v Speaker 2>But as someone who has been paying for insurance for

0:32:04.000 --> 0:32:06.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, over a decade now on my own

0:32:06.600 --> 0:32:08.800
<v Speaker 2>and never like I never really use insurance, I don't

0:32:08.800 --> 0:32:11.120
<v Speaker 2>really just stick that off and knock on wood. You know,

0:32:11.160 --> 0:32:12.840
<v Speaker 2>I don't go to the doctor that much. I just

0:32:12.880 --> 0:32:15.440
<v Speaker 2>pay because it's smart to have it. And I'm like, Okay,

0:32:15.480 --> 0:32:18.360
<v Speaker 2>finally I have reason to take advantage of full advantage

0:32:18.400 --> 0:32:21.640
<v Speaker 2>of my benefits. And I'm just finding out that they

0:32:21.680 --> 0:32:23.680
<v Speaker 2>don't always make it super easy for you to find that.

0:32:23.840 --> 0:32:26.120
<v Speaker 2>But I encourage all of you guys to read that

0:32:26.200 --> 0:32:27.360
<v Speaker 2>fine print and see what kind of.

0:32:27.360 --> 0:32:30.160
<v Speaker 1>Freebies you could have super smart. I knew about the

0:32:30.160 --> 0:32:32.160
<v Speaker 1>breast pumpt is because my sister, I think, got one

0:32:33.440 --> 0:32:35.040
<v Speaker 1>because she found out. Yeah, she found out through a

0:32:35.040 --> 0:32:37.080
<v Speaker 1>friend of hers, and I was like, oh, that's really good.

0:32:37.400 --> 0:32:40.440
<v Speaker 1>But you're right. There are a ton of resources that

0:32:40.520 --> 0:32:44.880
<v Speaker 1>you can get if you would only know and lean in. Honestly,

0:32:44.920 --> 0:32:48.080
<v Speaker 1>it's one of the things. I'm my best friend Linda.

0:32:48.640 --> 0:32:52.840
<v Speaker 1>She is a social worker, and when I tell you,

0:32:52.920 --> 0:32:56.479
<v Speaker 1>so many people reach out to her because you know,

0:32:56.640 --> 0:32:59.320
<v Speaker 1>maybe they've been told one thing or another, like she's

0:32:59.360 --> 0:33:03.680
<v Speaker 1>had so many people get the resources that they're entitled

0:33:03.720 --> 0:33:06.840
<v Speaker 1>through their insurance, I mean everything from I knew a

0:33:06.920 --> 0:33:10.680
<v Speaker 1>woman who had steps, but she had she's had really

0:33:10.720 --> 0:33:13.760
<v Speaker 1>bad diabetes, so she was in a wheelchair and literally

0:33:13.800 --> 0:33:15.520
<v Speaker 1>her neighbors every time she wanted to leave the house,

0:33:15.600 --> 0:33:18.040
<v Speaker 1>her neighbors, who were young guys, would have to carry

0:33:18.080 --> 0:33:20.720
<v Speaker 1>her down the steps for her to get to where

0:33:20.760 --> 0:33:24.120
<v Speaker 1>she's going. She Linda was like, no, you get a ramp,

0:33:24.240 --> 0:33:28.720
<v Speaker 1>got her a ramp, got her home, aid to take

0:33:28.760 --> 0:33:32.840
<v Speaker 1>her food shopping, and got like some other resources that

0:33:32.840 --> 0:33:35.080
<v Speaker 1>she was like, no, it comes along with your insurance,

0:33:35.640 --> 0:33:37.440
<v Speaker 1>and so you just would be surprised. I wish And

0:33:37.480 --> 0:33:38.680
<v Speaker 1>I told Helyn that one of the things I want

0:33:38.680 --> 0:33:41.760
<v Speaker 1>to do is to like do some lives with her

0:33:41.840 --> 0:33:44.960
<v Speaker 1>so she can share some of the things that you

0:33:45.080 --> 0:33:48.320
<v Speaker 1>might qualify for that you don't even know because people

0:33:48.360 --> 0:33:51.280
<v Speaker 1>don't know to ask. And because she's, like I said,

0:33:51.280 --> 0:33:53.120
<v Speaker 1>a social worker and she's worked in that environment for

0:33:53.120 --> 0:33:55.640
<v Speaker 1>so long, she knows how to advocate on folks behind.

0:33:55.680 --> 0:33:59.000
<v Speaker 1>But sometimes it's just it's just asking like hey, is

0:33:59.040 --> 0:34:04.040
<v Speaker 1>there like is there a resource available? Oh? Sure, Like like,

0:34:04.080 --> 0:34:07.400
<v Speaker 1>there's a resource my nephew. My sister uses a program

0:34:07.400 --> 0:34:12.160
<v Speaker 1>for parents and it greatly reduced how much her how

0:34:12.239 --> 0:34:15.640
<v Speaker 1>much she paid for your childcare, like significantly, almost in half,

0:34:16.760 --> 0:34:19.640
<v Speaker 1>And I didn't know. I was like, oh, wow, that's awesome.

0:34:19.719 --> 0:34:22.680
<v Speaker 1>So there's just honestly, there's just so many awesome resources

0:34:22.680 --> 0:34:24.360
<v Speaker 1>out there that you have available to you that you

0:34:24.440 --> 0:34:26.680
<v Speaker 1>might not know. So typically, I just hit up Linda.

0:34:26.960 --> 0:34:28.320
<v Speaker 1>I told her she needs to start a company and

0:34:28.360 --> 0:34:31.200
<v Speaker 1>I already named it the on call Advocate. But Linda

0:34:31.239 --> 0:34:33.360
<v Speaker 1>is so like, no, No'm I just helping. I'm like, Linda,

0:34:34.120 --> 0:34:36.560
<v Speaker 1>start a company. People can call you and you can

0:34:36.560 --> 0:34:38.560
<v Speaker 1>help walk them through the resources that they have available

0:34:38.560 --> 0:34:39.719
<v Speaker 1>to them. People would pay for that.

0:34:40.320 --> 0:34:42.960
<v Speaker 2>Find your Linda, people, find your Linda in your task

0:34:43.560 --> 0:34:45.440
<v Speaker 2>in your town or city or state where you have

0:34:45.480 --> 0:34:47.879
<v Speaker 2>state specific benefits. I found out stuff about New York

0:34:47.920 --> 0:34:51.120
<v Speaker 2>City New York state disability benefits like might be more

0:34:51.160 --> 0:34:54.480
<v Speaker 2>generous than I thought as far as covering my parental leave.

0:34:54.520 --> 0:34:56.359
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, I'm figuring all that out. They

0:34:56.360 --> 0:34:59.040
<v Speaker 2>don't make it easy. I'm in Like I had to

0:34:59.040 --> 0:35:00.719
<v Speaker 2>tell the person I talked from the phone about my

0:35:01.360 --> 0:35:02.759
<v Speaker 2>I was trying to sign up for my short term

0:35:02.800 --> 0:35:05.200
<v Speaker 2>disability benefits, you know, for when I'm on leave, and

0:35:05.239 --> 0:35:07.600
<v Speaker 2>I got super confused, but she was like, we're gonna figure.

0:35:07.640 --> 0:35:09.719
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna I have another call with her. I have

0:35:09.719 --> 0:35:11.680
<v Speaker 2>a call with my HR department to fix because I'm

0:35:11.680 --> 0:35:15.439
<v Speaker 2>gonna get every penny I possibly possibly can. And I'll

0:35:15.440 --> 0:35:17.160
<v Speaker 2>tell you, guys, how I make that happen.

0:35:17.719 --> 0:35:18.959
<v Speaker 1>Good.

0:35:19.360 --> 0:35:21.759
<v Speaker 2>We all need a Linda, Yeah, we do.

0:35:21.960 --> 0:35:24.080
<v Speaker 1>We do in so many ways. This is a good

0:35:24.080 --> 0:35:24.840
<v Speaker 1>person in general.

0:35:24.920 --> 0:35:25.680
<v Speaker 2>I just have Google.

0:35:26.600 --> 0:35:31.640
<v Speaker 1>Yah, So I am actually gotta do a little bit

0:35:31.640 --> 0:35:34.480
<v Speaker 1>about Booz. I'm trying to see if I can find the post.

0:35:34.480 --> 0:35:37.879
<v Speaker 1>So I don't know if you saw this post circulating love.

0:35:37.920 --> 0:35:40.160
<v Speaker 1>He actually had it in her in her stories, but

0:35:40.200 --> 0:35:43.399
<v Speaker 1>it's like circulating everywhere. Okay, here it is. Snoop Dogg

0:35:43.600 --> 0:35:48.520
<v Speaker 1>posted a picture of Gucci Man, who is a famous

0:35:48.800 --> 0:35:52.120
<v Speaker 1>rapper if you're not aware, in his wife, who he

0:35:52.160 --> 0:35:54.439
<v Speaker 1>married a year or so ago, a couple of years ago.

0:35:54.880 --> 0:35:58.120
<v Speaker 1>So anyway, he posted a picture of them, I guess

0:35:58.120 --> 0:36:01.200
<v Speaker 1>at their wedding, and he wrote, he wrote, everyone wants this,

0:36:01.560 --> 0:36:04.760
<v Speaker 1>but what y'all forget is she was with Wild Gucci

0:36:05.239 --> 0:36:09.239
<v Speaker 1>on drugs, Gucci cheating, Gucci in jail, Gucci publicly with

0:36:09.320 --> 0:36:14.160
<v Speaker 1>other women, Gucci. This is Gucci after therapy, rehabilitation, this

0:36:14.280 --> 0:36:18.560
<v Speaker 1>is This is a street man, groomed in his thirties

0:36:18.600 --> 0:36:22.440
<v Speaker 1>after he's been at his lowest point. The point is,

0:36:22.960 --> 0:36:25.239
<v Speaker 1>she's a writer who knew what she signed up for.

0:36:25.560 --> 0:36:29.359
<v Speaker 1>Some of you women is with the next dude after

0:36:29.360 --> 0:36:32.680
<v Speaker 1>a couple of fights, and I'm like, who wants drug

0:36:32.719 --> 0:36:36.000
<v Speaker 1>Gucci cheating Gucci, jail, Gucci publicly with Gucci.

0:36:39.000 --> 0:36:43.520
<v Speaker 2>If I were this woman, I'd be like, uh, thank.

0:36:43.440 --> 0:36:47.800
<v Speaker 1>You, because you know what, it's so crazy how women

0:36:47.960 --> 0:36:50.120
<v Speaker 1>it's like that that theory that women should ride or die?

0:36:50.280 --> 0:36:53.799
<v Speaker 1>Why I got to die? Like why is that even

0:36:53.840 --> 0:36:58.000
<v Speaker 1>on the table? That I just want that people stop

0:36:58.080 --> 0:37:00.719
<v Speaker 1>telling women that they should and not just women, but

0:37:00.760 --> 0:37:03.400
<v Speaker 1>I guess meant too that somehow you should put up

0:37:03.440 --> 0:37:08.160
<v Speaker 1>with all of this toxic energy and the hopes that

0:37:08.200 --> 0:37:10.799
<v Speaker 1>this person turns around, because that makes you a writer.

0:37:11.200 --> 0:37:13.640
<v Speaker 1>So what if Gucci never got into jail? What if

0:37:13.680 --> 0:37:16.080
<v Speaker 1>Gucci died from drugs? What if? So, then what would

0:37:16.120 --> 0:37:20.640
<v Speaker 1>have life have been? Yes, he turned it around, but honestly,

0:37:21.000 --> 0:37:23.319
<v Speaker 1>the likely it wasn't in his favor. Let's be real,

0:37:23.840 --> 0:37:26.879
<v Speaker 1>like to me, she put up with too much. That's

0:37:26.920 --> 0:37:30.279
<v Speaker 1>too much. Like I just don't understand, and I don't

0:37:30.320 --> 0:37:33.759
<v Speaker 1>understand how a man with daughters, because Snoop Dogg I

0:37:33.800 --> 0:37:36.200
<v Speaker 1>believe has at least one daughter could share that. Is

0:37:36.200 --> 0:37:37.879
<v Speaker 1>that what you want for your daughter to be with

0:37:38.560 --> 0:37:43.440
<v Speaker 1>someone who is cheating, drug addicted goes to jail because

0:37:43.480 --> 0:37:45.480
<v Speaker 1>of poor choice? Is that what you're wanting for your daughter?

0:37:45.520 --> 0:37:47.879
<v Speaker 1>Are you going to tell her? Hey, stick it out?

0:37:48.239 --> 0:37:52.000
<v Speaker 1>The Snoop Dogg right like writes underneath it that something

0:37:52.040 --> 0:37:54.359
<v Speaker 1>to the effect that, like, you know, I basically put

0:37:54.360 --> 0:37:57.520
<v Speaker 1>my wife through something similar. She's my secret weapon because

0:37:57.560 --> 0:38:04.920
<v Speaker 1>I remember, like I remember seeing how that that swoop

0:38:05.000 --> 0:38:06.840
<v Speaker 1>dog like you know, he is like a whole separate

0:38:06.880 --> 0:38:09.520
<v Speaker 1>house where he can keep his concubines, and that he

0:38:09.560 --> 0:38:11.719
<v Speaker 1>cheats on his wife left and right. But what is

0:38:13.280 --> 0:38:16.520
<v Speaker 1>what is that? I just don't understand. Yeah, so that

0:38:16.640 --> 0:38:19.040
<v Speaker 1>is my brown break. Sometime women to settle for the

0:38:19.080 --> 0:38:21.120
<v Speaker 1>worst of the worst of the worst in hopes that

0:38:21.200 --> 0:38:23.480
<v Speaker 1>maybe one day this man turns it around. Because guess what,

0:38:23.520 --> 0:38:25.399
<v Speaker 1>there are men out there who don't cheat, who don't

0:38:25.400 --> 0:38:29.120
<v Speaker 1>mistreat their wives, who don't who are not on drugs,

0:38:29.160 --> 0:38:31.600
<v Speaker 1>who are who are not making choices that would place

0:38:31.640 --> 0:38:34.319
<v Speaker 1>them in jail, who are not making choices that would

0:38:34.440 --> 0:38:37.640
<v Speaker 1>place their wife or their significant other in harm's way.

0:38:38.120 --> 0:38:40.360
<v Speaker 1>You don't have to that's you don't have to settle

0:38:40.400 --> 0:38:43.440
<v Speaker 1>for that, Like why because Gucci man has money? What

0:38:43.480 --> 0:38:46.160
<v Speaker 1>does that even mean? So? Yeah, it's just I'm so

0:38:46.239 --> 0:38:49.080
<v Speaker 1>tired of that, of that that somehow, because especially geared

0:38:49.080 --> 0:38:52.640
<v Speaker 1>toward women of color, especially black women, that narrative and

0:38:52.680 --> 0:38:55.640
<v Speaker 1>as if somehow we don't support our men enough, if

0:38:55.719 --> 0:38:58.799
<v Speaker 1>we don't put up with and it's one thing like

0:38:58.840 --> 0:39:02.359
<v Speaker 1>you know, I believe it, you know, working it out

0:39:02.400 --> 0:39:04.800
<v Speaker 1>with your significant other through like oh you maybe therapy,

0:39:04.920 --> 0:39:08.280
<v Speaker 1>this is that, but not when it's like dangerous toxic behavior.

0:39:08.440 --> 0:39:11.239
<v Speaker 2>Since right, I will say, I mean, and how many

0:39:11.280 --> 0:39:12.879
<v Speaker 2>of us are the friends of people that you've seen?

0:39:12.960 --> 0:39:16.200
<v Speaker 2>Do you know, stay with people who treat them badly

0:39:16.400 --> 0:39:20.640
<v Speaker 2>or you know, stay with people who are not ultimately

0:39:20.920 --> 0:39:23.319
<v Speaker 2>good for them or contributing to their life. And it's

0:39:23.320 --> 0:39:25.200
<v Speaker 2>really hard to be that friend, right, It's really hard

0:39:25.200 --> 0:39:28.840
<v Speaker 2>to be that sister or that cousin because you're always

0:39:28.880 --> 0:39:29.840
<v Speaker 2>in that awkward position.

0:39:30.440 --> 0:39:32.200
<v Speaker 1>Yes, And sometimes you just want to be like because

0:39:32.200 --> 0:39:33.719
<v Speaker 1>you want to say like it's not good for you

0:39:33.840 --> 0:39:37.359
<v Speaker 1>or this is not healthy, and it's hard when someone's like,

0:39:37.400 --> 0:39:39.120
<v Speaker 1>you know, vacillating or they're just like, no, this is

0:39:39.120 --> 0:39:41.399
<v Speaker 1>where I want to be. I just I just want

0:39:41.400 --> 0:39:43.520
<v Speaker 1>that that's not what we teach our young women, our

0:39:43.600 --> 0:39:47.120
<v Speaker 1>older women, our girls. I just want that, you know

0:39:47.239 --> 0:39:50.600
<v Speaker 1>that you don't there really is. To me, there's a

0:39:50.719 --> 0:39:53.960
<v Speaker 1>narrative out there that men are bad and then you

0:39:54.040 --> 0:39:57.279
<v Speaker 1>just have to choose the lesser of the evils when

0:39:57.320 --> 0:39:59.520
<v Speaker 1>it comes to men. And I'm like, that's just not true.

0:39:59.560 --> 0:40:03.000
<v Speaker 1>I know so many good men, you know. Yeah, Like

0:40:03.320 --> 0:40:05.279
<v Speaker 1>I know so many good men, and I wish that

0:40:05.280 --> 0:40:08.279
<v Speaker 1>that wasn't that wasn't the story that people put out

0:40:08.280 --> 0:40:11.680
<v Speaker 1>there that Oh I was watching something like like you see,

0:40:11.680 --> 0:40:15.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm so totally into like random pop culture. Recently, I

0:40:15.239 --> 0:40:17.719
<v Speaker 1>was watching some interview with Kate Michelle and basically that's

0:40:17.719 --> 0:40:19.799
<v Speaker 1>what she said, like, you know, men are bad. Men

0:40:19.840 --> 0:40:21.799
<v Speaker 1>are bad people. They cheat. You just gotta find one

0:40:21.800 --> 0:40:23.720
<v Speaker 1>that doesn't cheat as much or that's not as obvious.

0:40:23.760 --> 0:40:28.840
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, that's not true. That's just not true. Yeah, yeah,

0:40:28.880 --> 0:40:30.719
<v Speaker 1>it is, said I do. I honestly, I'm sad for

0:40:30.719 --> 0:40:33.680
<v Speaker 1>people who feel that way, because you know, somebody might

0:40:33.680 --> 0:40:36.280
<v Speaker 1>be like, well, girl, you wouldn't know Superman might cheat,

0:40:36.800 --> 0:40:38.520
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, and he'll be by himself. He knows

0:40:38.640 --> 0:40:40.600
<v Speaker 1>very quickly. Girl, I could do bad, but my bad.

0:40:40.760 --> 0:40:44.200
<v Speaker 1>That my damn self. But honestly, I don't. I don't, Like,

0:40:44.239 --> 0:40:46.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, I'm not someone who checks through phones or

0:40:46.120 --> 0:40:48.480
<v Speaker 1>anything like that. But like you know, I think women

0:40:48.520 --> 0:40:51.160
<v Speaker 1>have intuition. I don't. That is not that is not

0:40:51.200 --> 0:40:54.600
<v Speaker 1>the experience I've experienced. I've seen Superman has a twin brother.

0:40:54.760 --> 0:40:56.840
<v Speaker 1>When I tell you he's been with the same woman

0:40:57.120 --> 0:41:02.280
<v Speaker 1>since he was fifteen and been so overhead and heels

0:41:02.280 --> 0:41:04.560
<v Speaker 1>in love, I mean that's all I mean. Like even

0:41:04.600 --> 0:41:07.080
<v Speaker 1>here at the house, I'm like, are you hungry? His

0:41:07.200 --> 0:41:10.400
<v Speaker 1>nickname is Nobby, Superman's twin, identical twin, You're hungry? No,

0:41:11.640 --> 0:41:13.560
<v Speaker 1>my girl made food like you won't even eat no

0:41:13.640 --> 0:41:17.160
<v Speaker 1>place else, Like just such a good dude and like

0:41:17.400 --> 0:41:20.600
<v Speaker 1>so in love with her still to this day. They're

0:41:20.640 --> 0:41:23.200
<v Speaker 1>nearly forty. So I just it just goes to show that,

0:41:23.320 --> 0:41:25.080
<v Speaker 1>like that's just not true. That don't let that be

0:41:25.160 --> 0:41:27.040
<v Speaker 1>your narrative. You don't have to settle for less. There

0:41:27.600 --> 0:41:29.759
<v Speaker 1>are men who are good out there. There's a lot

0:41:29.800 --> 0:41:31.560
<v Speaker 1>of men working out there, just like there's a lot

0:41:31.600 --> 0:41:33.399
<v Speaker 1>of women who are good out there, and that they

0:41:33.480 --> 0:41:35.560
<v Speaker 1>don't have to settle for that. And you can draw

0:41:35.560 --> 0:41:37.800
<v Speaker 1>a line in the sand and say no, I'm worthy

0:41:38.000 --> 0:41:41.680
<v Speaker 1>of more. So. Yeah, So don't you know, I'm glad

0:41:41.680 --> 0:41:43.160
<v Speaker 1>the Gucci man is in a good place. I might

0:41:43.200 --> 0:41:47.000
<v Speaker 1>here to hate on Gucci, but child cheese, I am

0:41:47.040 --> 0:41:49.839
<v Speaker 1>not riding and dying. Ride or die. I mean, we'll

0:41:49.920 --> 0:41:51.960
<v Speaker 1>ride as long as there's no danger involved.

0:41:53.360 --> 0:41:55.399
<v Speaker 2>But you can let me out of this stop if

0:41:55.400 --> 0:41:58.560
<v Speaker 2>we're approaching Cheatingville for drugs City.

0:41:59.320 --> 0:42:00.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:42:01.320 --> 0:42:03.279
<v Speaker 2>But for all the women who are in those relationships,

0:42:03.640 --> 0:42:05.600
<v Speaker 2>you know, I've known you, I've known people like you.

0:42:05.680 --> 0:42:06.960
<v Speaker 2>I know how hard it is to get out. So

0:42:08.360 --> 0:42:11.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I respect for It's just so difficult

0:42:11.600 --> 0:42:13.960
<v Speaker 2>because you can't judge people who are in those relationships.

0:42:13.960 --> 0:42:16.279
<v Speaker 2>I'm all shut up after this, but it's hard to

0:42:16.320 --> 0:42:18.600
<v Speaker 2>judge them because they're so in it, and it's hard

0:42:18.640 --> 0:42:20.480
<v Speaker 2>to convince them that's not right for them, and you

0:42:20.560 --> 0:42:21.960
<v Speaker 2>just hope that they come out on the other side

0:42:21.960 --> 0:42:24.160
<v Speaker 2>and they see the light and find something that is

0:42:24.200 --> 0:42:28.920
<v Speaker 2>worthy of your time. So that was it a good break.

0:42:29.000 --> 0:42:30.560
<v Speaker 2>I mean, maybe you don't go to Snoop Dogg to

0:42:30.640 --> 0:42:33.120
<v Speaker 2>raise your to to you know, share lessons for your

0:42:33.160 --> 0:42:35.640
<v Speaker 2>daughter future daughters out there, but it.

0:42:35.560 --> 0:42:37.080
<v Speaker 1>Was all over the social and I just I just

0:42:37.239 --> 0:42:39.799
<v Speaker 1>got that. I love the stories, and I thought, how

0:42:39.800 --> 0:42:42.040
<v Speaker 1>many young men and young women are going to look

0:42:42.080 --> 0:42:44.680
<v Speaker 1>at this and say, yes, yes, agreed? You know?

0:42:45.280 --> 0:42:47.480
<v Speaker 2>And who's ky Michelle?

0:42:48.239 --> 0:42:50.399
<v Speaker 1>She just wanted like the Housewives. She's a signer too,

0:42:50.400 --> 0:42:52.480
<v Speaker 1>but she's one of like is it the Housewives? No?

0:42:52.480 --> 0:42:53.560
<v Speaker 1>No Love and hip hop?

0:42:53.920 --> 0:42:56.560
<v Speaker 2>Oh see now I don't have cable and I don't

0:42:56.600 --> 0:42:59.560
<v Speaker 2>know whatever. Yeah, ky Michelle got it, got it. Got

0:42:59.600 --> 0:43:01.440
<v Speaker 2>ITT's the way I can't listen to the read because

0:43:01.560 --> 0:43:03.839
<v Speaker 2>the first thirty minutes of their show, I just am like, what.

0:43:05.400 --> 0:43:08.040
<v Speaker 1>That's I'm not gonna I love to read. That's one

0:43:08.040 --> 0:43:10.040
<v Speaker 1>of my favorite shout out to read forgetting your own show.

0:43:10.080 --> 0:43:14.279
<v Speaker 1>And yes, that's amazing. I see. I used to watch

0:43:14.360 --> 0:43:17.520
<v Speaker 1>Kid Theory on on YouTube when he was in front

0:43:17.520 --> 0:43:20.480
<v Speaker 1>of that salmon colored wall and he was hilarious then.

0:43:20.920 --> 0:43:24.520
<v Speaker 1>So to see how far they've come honestly like, yeah,

0:43:24.680 --> 0:43:27.000
<v Speaker 1>they are inspo for real, for real.

0:43:27.239 --> 0:43:29.759
<v Speaker 2>I love it except for what I have no idea

0:43:29.800 --> 0:43:32.040
<v Speaker 2>what they're talking about. But you're right, I ain't to

0:43:32.080 --> 0:43:32.600
<v Speaker 2>get with it.

0:43:34.120 --> 0:43:36.239
<v Speaker 1>That's why I get my stuff. I'm like, oh, what's

0:43:36.239 --> 0:43:40.840
<v Speaker 1>happening in the world of ratchetness? Okay, thank you. Between

0:43:41.360 --> 0:43:43.120
<v Speaker 1>and a little bit of Instagram here and there with

0:43:43.200 --> 0:43:45.200
<v Speaker 1>something pops up with my tima, I'm like, oh, okay,

0:43:45.440 --> 0:43:46.160
<v Speaker 1>dually noted.

0:43:46.480 --> 0:43:48.560
<v Speaker 2>I think our shows are the perfect, like you know,

0:43:48.719 --> 0:43:51.120
<v Speaker 2>side by side, dual pack. You get your you know,

0:43:51.160 --> 0:43:53.200
<v Speaker 2>you don't get your ratchetness from us, I mean not

0:43:53.320 --> 0:43:57.640
<v Speaker 2>for me like for serve like please, but you know

0:43:57.680 --> 0:43:59.560
<v Speaker 2>you get your financial advice and you've listened to the

0:43:59.600 --> 0:44:01.640
<v Speaker 2>read like that's a good combo platter.

0:44:02.480 --> 0:44:17.919
<v Speaker 1>It is, it is. It's been an awesome show, as

0:44:17.960 --> 0:44:22.520
<v Speaker 1>pretty used in sidebar shout out to Michelle from Home

0:44:22.560 --> 0:44:24.960
<v Speaker 1>Depot and I don't even know what was that like,

0:44:25.360 --> 0:44:28.000
<v Speaker 1>because she ran up to me and was like, I

0:44:28.040 --> 0:44:30.120
<v Speaker 1>love your podcast. Tell Mandy. I said, Hi, I'm not

0:44:30.160 --> 0:44:31.600
<v Speaker 1>gonna hug you, but I was like, go ahead, girls,

0:44:31.640 --> 0:44:34.680
<v Speaker 1>just go ahead on. So she did, and so I'm

0:44:34.719 --> 0:44:36.719
<v Speaker 1>just like, it's so I just love that I'm out

0:44:36.719 --> 0:44:38.520
<v Speaker 1>in about and how you guys are shouting out the podcast.

0:44:38.600 --> 0:44:40.439
<v Speaker 1>So I meant to just shout out Michelle from home

0:44:40.440 --> 0:44:44.520
<v Speaker 1>depot and in like Westfield or Summit. I don't know

0:44:44.520 --> 0:44:47.440
<v Speaker 1>where that was, but yeah, just I was like, oh,

0:44:47.600 --> 0:44:49.880
<v Speaker 1>that was nice, and she was just super excited. But

0:44:49.920 --> 0:44:51.200
<v Speaker 1>I thought it was cute because as soon as she

0:44:51.239 --> 0:44:53.120
<v Speaker 1>said I'm not gonna hug you, I mean, I'm like,

0:44:53.120 --> 0:44:56.759
<v Speaker 1>you're listened to the podcast. She's like, I do it.

0:44:57.520 --> 0:44:59.800
<v Speaker 1>But I took the hug anyway, and she was really nice.

0:45:00.040 --> 0:45:05.959
<v Speaker 2>Her husu Well, Happy fortieth birthday, everybody tweet Graham, text

0:45:05.960 --> 0:45:08.520
<v Speaker 2>if you got her number Facebook, if you don't say

0:45:08.520 --> 0:45:12.480
<v Speaker 2>happy birthday to Tip tomorrow, Happy fortieth, feisty forty. It's

0:45:12.480 --> 0:45:13.080
<v Speaker 2>gonna be the year.

0:45:13.880 --> 0:45:15.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, this is gonna be the year.

0:45:15.080 --> 0:45:16.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't know how the hell you're gonna top the

0:45:16.360 --> 0:45:20.040
<v Speaker 2>last decade, but good luck. And you set the bar

0:45:20.360 --> 0:45:21.440
<v Speaker 2>very high.

0:45:21.480 --> 0:45:23.880
<v Speaker 1>So I'm okay with's slowing down. If I don't do

0:45:23.920 --> 0:45:25.600
<v Speaker 1>nothing else, I feel like I'm good for life.

0:45:26.560 --> 0:45:28.279
<v Speaker 2>That's a beautiful place to be at forty. Let me

0:45:28.320 --> 0:45:30.759
<v Speaker 2>just say that's my goal for forty. I'm gonna be

0:45:30.800 --> 0:45:34.480
<v Speaker 2>okay with where I'm at? Yes, yes, all right, Well,

0:45:34.600 --> 0:45:38.080
<v Speaker 2>enjoy and I will text you some baby shower pictures

0:45:38.080 --> 0:45:40.319
<v Speaker 2>if you text me some party pictures, and I will

0:45:40.360 --> 0:45:42.920
<v Speaker 2>be celebrating. I'll be celebrating you and my heart and

0:45:43.000 --> 0:45:45.120
<v Speaker 2>my mind this weekend talk as well.