1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:05,120 Speaker 1: Ben Higgins and Ashley I bring you Infamous. Sometimes roses 2 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:06,320 Speaker 1: are red flags. 3 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 2: Welcome to Infamous, because sometimes roses are red flags. This 4 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,000 Speaker 2: is Bob Guiney and I am taken over for Ben 5 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,520 Speaker 2: and Ashley today as our story continues with Chad Johnson. 6 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 2: Now you know him from JoJo's season and Chad, I'm excited. 7 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,759 Speaker 1: This off to you. Man, Welcome to the podcast. Thanks 8 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: for joining us. 9 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:23,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks for having me. Bob. 10 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: Of course, where are you at right now? Where you live? 11 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 4: So I'm actually in Oklahoma at the moment, kind of 12 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:31,760 Speaker 4: in a middle ground. I just moved out of Huntington Beach. 13 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 4: I've been there a couple of years, and then I'm 14 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 4: moving to Florida. But once I got here over Christmas break, 15 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 4: I saw a family and I was like, all right, 16 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:40,959 Speaker 4: I'll stay for a little bit. 17 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,640 Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, I get it, man, I get it. 18 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,480 Speaker 2: You're home and hard to leave once you start seeing 19 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:47,839 Speaker 2: everybody that you know and love, you know. 20 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, I know. So kind of in that middle grad. 21 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I got you. 22 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 2: So, hey, tell me about your So how did you 23 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 2: end up on the show in the first place, because 24 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:59,600 Speaker 2: you were obviously from JoJo's season and was it one 25 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 2: of those things where like you knew she was going 26 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 2: to be on the show, and you're like, I got 27 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 2: a meet her, or and if you've talked about this 28 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:06,760 Speaker 2: in the past, I apologize, but I just want to 29 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 2: give context. 30 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 3: Honestly. 31 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:11,959 Speaker 4: You know, I had done some acting and modeling and 32 00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 4: stuff in the past years before, and so people knew 33 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 4: that friends around me, and I had a friend just 34 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:21,279 Speaker 4: send me a link to it on Facebook. Yeah, and 35 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 4: they were like, you know, you should go try this, 36 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,559 Speaker 4: And I didn't even consider it. I had no idea 37 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 4: what I was doing in life. You know, I wasn't 38 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 4: really looking to get married or anything. I never even 39 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:33,119 Speaker 4: I had no idea who Jojo or any of these 40 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:37,320 Speaker 4: people were, right. So I just signed up or I 41 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 4: didn't sign up. I actually just drove out to an audition. 42 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 4: There was a couple hours from me, and turns out 43 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 4: I actually went to the one that was the girls casting. 44 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 3: I didn't even know, and so you. 45 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 4: Know, they went ahead and did my interview and we're like, 46 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 4: you know, we'll call you in six months, and I 47 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 4: was like, yeah, right, you know, so yeah, six months 48 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 4: rolled around though, and they actually called me, and you know, 49 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 4: then I had to figure out, Wait, what the hell 50 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:01,040 Speaker 4: am I doing? 51 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I hear well. 52 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,440 Speaker 2: I mean I remember I remember you from that season, 53 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 2: like episode one, because you you were jacked. 54 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure you're still in great shakes. I 55 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:10,920 Speaker 1: know fitness has always. 56 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 2: Been a big part of your life, but I remember 57 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 2: you coming on that show and it was just like, 58 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 2: you know, you were like the bizarro world me like 59 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:18,640 Speaker 2: what I thought I looked like in the mirror. 60 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,960 Speaker 4: You know, it was actually one hundred pounds and six 61 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:24,640 Speaker 4: foot two. People don't realize it's a camera trick. Like 62 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 4: I literally did research before coming on the show. Should 63 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 4: I come, Like is it better to be thinner on 64 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 4: camera or bigger? 65 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:31,080 Speaker 3: Yeah? 66 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,440 Speaker 4: So I shed like thirty pounds and just half the 67 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 4: size of the other guys. But it was an optical 68 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 4: illusion just by being so ripped, and it made me 69 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 4: look like look like, yeah. 70 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:42,280 Speaker 1: No, you were definitely jack. 71 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:44,680 Speaker 2: Part of me sometimes wonders too, you know, I mean 72 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 2: you come onto the show and I mean, obviously in 73 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 2: hot with hindsight being what it is, right, you have 74 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 2: a chance to look back and see how you were 75 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 2: portrayed on the show. But you know, it was almost 76 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,840 Speaker 2: like from the very beginning that you were kind of 77 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,160 Speaker 2: came in and you were like the villain or the 78 00:02:58,200 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 2: antagonist of the season. 79 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,919 Speaker 1: And I mean, did you think that that was. 80 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,959 Speaker 2: Something that you know that the producers created or is 81 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 2: that something that like, did you really feel like you 82 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 2: just didn't wait vibe with these guys at all? 83 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 4: Honestly that I tried to be myself at first, but like, 84 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,359 Speaker 4: so here's the thing, I'm very hard on myself. Like 85 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 4: anything that any of the bad jokes you've heard me 86 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,240 Speaker 4: tell on TV, I say on a daily basis a 87 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 4: thousand times worse to myself. Right, I came in trying 88 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 4: to be actually myself, and I made like one of 89 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 4: these bad jokes, and then it turned into where now 90 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:34,160 Speaker 4: I'm being attacked. 91 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 3: And so what I. 92 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 4: Did was I had throughout the years of my life 93 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 4: I'm kind of I'm not like super confident when I 94 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 4: got on and talked to people, I'm kind of shy. 95 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 4: So I created this alternate persona of this like asshole, cocky. 96 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 3: Kind of guy. Yeah, And when. 97 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:54,440 Speaker 4: I started getting attacked, I just pulled out my safety mechanism, 98 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 4: which was that cocky, confident, like asshole, joking guy. And 99 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 4: that's where and you know, everybody just kept playing into 100 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 4: it and I didn't. It was at a certain point 101 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 4: where I was playing the character so much that I 102 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 4: was like, I didn't know when to stop it, right, yeah. 103 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 2: Yeah. 104 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 4: And once you're locked into that, you know, the producers 105 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 4: wanted more of that, and they you know, they thought 106 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,240 Speaker 4: that's who I was, and I'm like, no, I kind 107 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 4: of want I want to go. 108 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 3: Back to like the real me. 109 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, but now all these situations are happening because 110 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 4: I used my like safety mechanism character that I built 111 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 4: and so hard to explain, like you know, you would 112 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,479 Speaker 4: probably like a ten minute explanation on camera for me 113 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 4: to be like, hold on, everyone, sit down. 114 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,159 Speaker 3: I got to explain it. Well. 115 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 2: Plus I'm sure too, you know, you get to a 116 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 2: point too in those moments, not to justify anything, but 117 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 2: I do understand that because I mean, I have a 118 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,839 Speaker 2: buddy of mine who was actually on my season with Trista, 119 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 2: who you know, he suffered from anxiety so bad that 120 00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 2: he kind of put up a lot of walls too 121 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 2: to protect himself, and you know, he went to a 122 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,160 Speaker 2: little more of a like a more of a quieter 123 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 2: place when he's actually more out there and and the 124 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,479 Speaker 2: reaction can be whatever it is, but it's like, you know, 125 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 2: in that moment, but now you're kind of bought into it, 126 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,279 Speaker 2: and like you said, the producers are like, no, no, 127 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 2: you're doing great, keep it up. 128 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:04,640 Speaker 1: You know. 129 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 2: So were they encouraging you to kind of be confrontational 130 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:08,240 Speaker 2: with people? 131 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,480 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, well, I mean they would set the things 132 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,599 Speaker 4: up where it was like, you know, hey, this guy's 133 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 4: saying something and I'm like, I know, but I'm really 134 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 4: here to just like I want to go back to 135 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,680 Speaker 4: be me. Can I just like talk to me? And 136 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:23,720 Speaker 4: they were like you need to confront him, and I'm like, man, 137 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 4: and then I'm you know, I'm because I'm super shy. 138 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,680 Speaker 4: So I'd be back there like sweating, like I don't 139 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,040 Speaker 4: want to do this. I don't want to do this, 140 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 4: like all right, and I'd be like okay, and I 141 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 4: turn it on and be like all right, let's go 142 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 4: and then just go play that character again. And honestly, 143 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,840 Speaker 4: it screwed me up for a lot of years because 144 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 4: once I started playing it, that was my weekend fun 145 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:46,120 Speaker 4: character for going out with my friends occasionally and make 146 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 4: a joke so or like you know, again protecting myself 147 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 4: and sure by playing it on the show and that happening, 148 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 4: I got stuck in that loop for like nearly a decade. 149 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you know it's funny. 150 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:00,200 Speaker 2: I mean, you kind of came on the show that 151 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 2: was really when social media really started to blow up, right, 152 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 2: So it was kind of like and I can see that, 153 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 2: you know, I could see that being something that you know, 154 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:09,839 Speaker 2: you're you're kind of protecting yourself to a certain degree. 155 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:11,280 Speaker 2: I'm sure a couple of the guys jumped on the 156 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 2: bandwagon pretty quickly, which fires you up even more because 157 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 2: now you're. 158 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,160 Speaker 1: Like, Okay, well, if we're doing this, I guess we're 159 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 1: doing this right. 160 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,800 Speaker 2: Because I've I'm sure I've been in those in those 161 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 2: moods of those moments myself, you know. 162 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:22,920 Speaker 1: And then you got to start wandering back. 163 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 2: Like when you look back, I bet you were probably 164 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,359 Speaker 2: feeling kind of a little bit manipulated by the producers 165 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,280 Speaker 2: because they were they were pushing your buttons to get 166 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 2: you ramped up to that point and all you're doing 167 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 2: is just delivering, right, and you you don't even know, Hey, 168 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 2: maybe this is gonna be good TV. Maybe I'm gonna 169 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 2: be you know, they're gonna think it's funny, you know, 170 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,160 Speaker 2: I'm sure to a certain degree, especially in the beginning. 171 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, you know, once once you start playing 172 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 4: the character and kind of given what they want and 173 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,479 Speaker 4: they're pushing for more of it, you just kind of 174 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:48,919 Speaker 4: keep giving it to them, and it gets to a 175 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 4: certain point. 176 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 3: Where you really don't know, you know. 177 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 4: I mean for me, I almost thought of it as 178 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,960 Speaker 4: I was like method acting, you know, and I got 179 00:06:55,960 --> 00:07:00,240 Speaker 4: caught into it for years because yeah, they you know, 180 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 4: they wanted it, that's what was working, that's what people 181 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:06,240 Speaker 4: seem to like. And so especially with social media and 182 00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:09,160 Speaker 4: all that stuff. Now I'm playing the character offscreen. Now 183 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:12,960 Speaker 4: I'm being my own friends and family, and you it 184 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 4: really I'll be honest, like it kind of screwed me 185 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 4: up for a while. 186 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 2: Now, That's how I was going to say, you know, 187 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,640 Speaker 2: I mean, social media really kind of creates that thing 188 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,760 Speaker 2: that's bigger than life, right, and it keeps going. 189 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 1: So I could see I'm sure, you know, I could see. 190 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 2: You coming off of that show, especially if what you 191 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 2: were doing was more, you know, a defense mechanism, and 192 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 2: you come off that show and you're probably having a 193 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 2: rough time figuring out where your head's at and then 194 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 2: all of a sudden, everyone starts piling on and here again, 195 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 2: you got you got a choice, right, either you you 196 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 2: curl up or. 197 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 4: You know, I was even mean to Ben, And I 198 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:45,680 Speaker 4: don't think I really was Ashley, but you know, I 199 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,240 Speaker 4: had talked to him on tweets and stuff, but it 200 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,240 Speaker 4: was a certain point, Like so I went on the 201 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 4: show originally, like, you know, the reason I went and 202 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 4: did the audition and stuff was because my mom had 203 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 4: just passed and I'd always told my mom was going 204 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 4: to be successful. So it was real a way for 205 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,680 Speaker 4: me to just to make something of myself to show 206 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 4: my mom. So in a way, when when they're attacking me, 207 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:10,119 Speaker 4: they're attacking my character, but they're also attacking my goal 208 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 4: to show my mom. So it's like you're you're stopping 209 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 4: me from doing something that I'm here to do. 210 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 3: For my mom. 211 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. 212 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:22,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, just I guess after everything, you know, it just 213 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 4: it just seemed like. 214 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 3: I don't know, I kind of lost that thing of 215 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 3: the mom things for a second. 216 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:27,240 Speaker 2: Nah. 217 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 1: No, I get you, dude, I might believe me. I 218 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 1: lost my dad a few years ago, and I understand it. 219 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 4: But but I guess my point was social media you know, 220 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:36,560 Speaker 4: I was trying to do that goal for my mom, 221 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 4: and when it came to social media after the show, 222 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 4: I continue to play the character because what it's what 223 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,520 Speaker 4: I knew was seemingly going to get me to the 224 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 4: point because I'm now I'm locked into that character and 225 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:48,680 Speaker 4: the only thing that's going to get me to the 226 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 4: goal of success. But it seems like whether that shows 227 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 4: or anything, you know, just buying able to buy a 228 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 4: house for myself for my dog was going to be 229 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,439 Speaker 4: to continue playing that character, and so I had to 230 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,640 Speaker 4: keep doing it because it's the only thing that I 231 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:05,440 Speaker 4: knew that was benefiting my life. And anytime I started 232 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 4: being good and being quiet and being regular talking about 233 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 4: normal things or God or being good or doing nice things, 234 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 4: no one cared at all. I'd get like three likes 235 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,680 Speaker 4: on Twitter. So I was like, okay, so being me 236 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:19,679 Speaker 4: isn't what is going to get me to my goal. Ultimately, 237 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,560 Speaker 4: this is an end to mean to an ends. 238 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, okay, I have to put you on to 239 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 5: these leggings I've been obsessed with lately. 240 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 6: They're from this brand called Tona and get this. The 241 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 6: designer behind them also created Lulu Lemon, so they know 242 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:47,080 Speaker 6: what they're doing. These leggings are next level. I think, 243 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 6: buttery soft, super flattering and very comfortable, but they're also 244 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 6: very supportive in the right places. So I started wearing 245 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,400 Speaker 6: them when the kids and I go out to play, 246 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:02,200 Speaker 6: and now I'm basically in them twenty four seven. 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So head to tonaactive 254 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 6: dot com that is t NA active dot com and 255 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 6: use code iHeart for twenty percent off in free shipping. 256 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 2: You know what, I'm sure when you say stuff like that, 257 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:42,680 Speaker 2: you probably got people going, hey, man, that's a cop out, 258 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:44,720 Speaker 2: you know you, that's not what you were really going 259 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,840 Speaker 2: through because they think they know you for how you 260 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 2: were portrayed on television, you know, when in fact, you're 261 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 2: trying to be real with somebody and say this is 262 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,000 Speaker 2: how I was really feeling at that time. Now I 263 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,679 Speaker 2: know too, Like a lot of the situations on the 264 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:59,000 Speaker 2: show too. You know, it is a television show, it 265 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 2: is produced. We all know that, right. So one of 266 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,679 Speaker 2: the scenes I remember on the show that set out 267 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:04,760 Speaker 2: was they brought security in. 268 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,760 Speaker 1: Right because they were saying they were really worried, worried 269 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,320 Speaker 1: about everyone's well being. Did you think that was warranted? 270 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 2: Was it something that was set up ahead of time 271 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 2: or was it one of those things where you know. 272 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,080 Speaker 4: That that to me, I mean they came in and 273 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,079 Speaker 4: told me, you know, they're like, hey, we're going to 274 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 4: give you the security guard, like you know, and and 275 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:22,760 Speaker 4: and the thing is, every time there was almost a 276 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 4: like they thought there was going to be a confrontation. 277 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,839 Speaker 4: They'd be like, hey, you're not going to actually hit anyone, right, 278 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,080 Speaker 4: And I'm like, no, you think I want to hit 279 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,800 Speaker 4: any one? I literally would happen like I'd literally be like, 280 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 4: I'll give you, and then I'd walk into the like 281 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 4: closed door behind the talk with him and I'm like, 282 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 4: oh my god, dude, like you know, and they're like like, 283 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 4: you're you're gonna hit him. I'm like no, no, God, 284 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:43,679 Speaker 4: Like I don't want to. I don't even want to 285 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:46,240 Speaker 4: be involved in that, I'm like I can yeah. Stop, 286 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 4: I'm like, but now I'm in it. And if I 287 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 4: walk out the door and I'm like, hey sorry, man, 288 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:56,120 Speaker 4: it's going to be very confusing for everyone. So yeah, 289 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,160 Speaker 4: so I think you know, they they in a way 290 00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 4: like they were like, are you going to hit him? 291 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,080 Speaker 4: But I told him a million times I was like, no, 292 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,160 Speaker 4: you know, I'm not going to hit anybody, Like, yeah, 293 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,439 Speaker 4: hit somebody, I'm going to go home from the show, 294 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,679 Speaker 4: and that would run like everything. So you know, if 295 00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 4: they hit me, fantastic, then they go home. That eliminates one. 296 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:12,040 Speaker 4: And I'm closer to. 297 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:15,520 Speaker 2: The end right right, So you were thinking about the 298 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:16,960 Speaker 2: games and the ship was still at play. 299 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:17,640 Speaker 3: I get it. 300 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean that was my ultimate go I would 301 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:20,680 Speaker 4: have don anything. I would have let ten guys start 302 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,199 Speaker 4: punching me in the face if that's what I meant 303 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 4: in order to get to where I needed to be 304 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 4: in order to achieve my goal. 305 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,800 Speaker 2: Well, and I mean you kept getting a rose right 306 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 2: for a few weeks there, you got roses and you 307 00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:31,560 Speaker 2: stuck around, and so you know the behavior, I guess 308 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 2: to a certain degree probably with the headspace you were 309 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,080 Speaker 2: in in that moment was was being rewarded, right, So 310 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,080 Speaker 2: you're thinking, Okay. 311 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:39,640 Speaker 4: What I did do was when any time I was 312 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:41,920 Speaker 4: with her, I completely shut that all off and went 313 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,079 Speaker 4: back to being myself. Yeah, that's why there were interviews 314 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 4: of her where she was like, I'm super confused because like, right, 315 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,000 Speaker 4: he's like this, but he's seeming like he's like this. 316 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,200 Speaker 4: It's because when I talk to her, I just one 317 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 4: percent cut out the character of the bull crap and 318 00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 4: tried to talk to her. But you know, unfortunately they 319 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 4: didn't even really the character took over and they didn't 320 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,959 Speaker 4: even give me any time to really talk to her. 321 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:07,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, because I mean, yeah, there was talks about, 322 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 2: you know, you being aggressive with the other guys. I 323 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 2: think Evan shirt got ripped, you know, stuff like that, 324 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:16,120 Speaker 2: I mean, punching the door. 325 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: You know, it's like that. 326 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 2: I'm sure that a lot of those emotions probably are 327 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 2: you know, maybe were how you were feeling in the moment. 328 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,720 Speaker 2: But you know, if you weren't kind of all jacked 329 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 2: up to be this agro character on TV, you probably 330 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 2: wouldn't have reacted in the same way. 331 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:31,040 Speaker 3: Right. 332 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,840 Speaker 4: No, not in real life, man. You know, people try 333 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:37,280 Speaker 4: to start stuff. I could care less like, yeah, but 334 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 4: once once you realize that, you know, the cameras are 335 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:46,120 Speaker 4: now portraying you as this, it wouldn't like correlate. 336 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 3: You know what I mean? 337 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 4: Like you know, like if you if you see someone 338 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:53,000 Speaker 4: I don't know, if you see some guy driving a 339 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:56,520 Speaker 4: rolls Royce, but then he gets out he's wearing like 340 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:59,640 Speaker 4: clothes with clothes with like holes in him, Like. 341 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 3: It doesn't make sense, you know what I mean? 342 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,360 Speaker 1: So yeah, it makes. 343 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,880 Speaker 4: Sense is the tough guy to then let these other 344 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 4: people push him around. And so then I'm all twisted 345 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,720 Speaker 4: in the head because I'm half in character on half me, 346 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,520 Speaker 4: and I'm like, I don't know if one time they 347 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 4: could come up to me and they're like, are you 348 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,560 Speaker 4: are you okay? Are you mad at this? Like you know, 349 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 4: and I was like, I don't know if I'm mad 350 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,320 Speaker 4: or if I'm supposed to be mad, but I think 351 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,640 Speaker 4: the best move is to just be mad, like I'm 352 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 4: gonna do angry things right now. 353 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:28,080 Speaker 3: Yeah. 354 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,680 Speaker 2: I mean, I could get it too it because it 355 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,520 Speaker 2: was a you know, you were still it was still 356 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,320 Speaker 2: earlier on in the reality TV. 357 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 1: I mean, how many years ago was that for you? 358 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,880 Speaker 3: Oh man? Nine years? 359 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:40,480 Speaker 2: So almost Yeah, so so nine years ago, so it 360 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:44,840 Speaker 2: was still kind of early enough on the reality TV zeitgeist. 361 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:47,160 Speaker 2: I guess that, you know, you you could be kind 362 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,640 Speaker 2: of part of you at that time, I'm sure was 363 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,720 Speaker 2: playing into the the villain part of it too, right, 364 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 2: Like you're you know, you're leaning into that because you're like, okay, well, hey, 365 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,920 Speaker 2: at least I'm at least I've got my own identity 366 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 2: on this show. I'm this guy, right, And so you know, 367 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,800 Speaker 2: at that point in time, you don't know, you know, 368 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,200 Speaker 2: you don't know what's going to get you to your 369 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 2: end game if you're you know, like if you weren't 370 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 2: going on there specifically to find love, you were just 371 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:10,840 Speaker 2: going on there to you know, have some fun and 372 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,040 Speaker 2: show you show your mom that hey I can I 373 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,359 Speaker 2: can do this, you know, and doing it for her posterously. 374 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 4: I could see I had the goal, but then I 375 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,840 Speaker 4: was over, like, you know, dating the girl and finding love. 376 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,520 Speaker 3: So I tried to open. 377 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 4: On one side, but I also didn't want to let that. 378 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,680 Speaker 4: I didn't want to let one stop, you know, me 379 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 4: from the other. 380 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:29,080 Speaker 2: That makes right and which goal was more important? You 381 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:30,960 Speaker 2: probably didn't know the answer to that either, right. 382 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,400 Speaker 4: Right, honestly, Yeah, that's why I was, like I was trying, 383 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,240 Speaker 4: like hoping, like give me time with her, like let 384 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:37,120 Speaker 4: me drop this goal for that goal, you know. 385 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean when you look back on it now, 386 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 2: I mean obviously almost ten years ago now, when you 387 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:45,440 Speaker 2: look back on it, are there just you know a 388 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,880 Speaker 2: million things you wish you'd done differently, or do you 389 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,400 Speaker 2: kind of own it? And you know, I mean, I 390 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:52,120 Speaker 2: like with what you're saying right now, with it being 391 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,160 Speaker 2: a character and with your feeling like you were sort 392 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:56,160 Speaker 2: of just sort of playing into it. You know, if 393 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,680 Speaker 2: you ever had a chance to go back and see 394 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,920 Speaker 2: any of those guys and be like, hey man, I'm sorry, 395 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,800 Speaker 2: or talk to Jojo or anybody from that season producers 396 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 2: or anything like that, where you've had a chance to 397 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,760 Speaker 2: actually say what you're saying now, I. 398 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,320 Speaker 3: Mean, I did the whole thing wrong, you know. 399 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,120 Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, sure, the camera's looked at me, But 400 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,360 Speaker 4: to be honest, it's it's super hard for me to 401 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,880 Speaker 4: look back because I'm not even that person at all anymore. 402 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 4: I mean, you know, ten years ago, I can't even 403 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,400 Speaker 4: relate to that guy. So it's kind of almost even 404 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 4: hard to like explain for him like the stuff that 405 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 4: I did. But but but I do know that I 406 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:33,080 Speaker 4: would one hundred percent do it completely different. And you know, 407 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 4: I hold no grudges towards anybody or any producers or anything, 408 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,880 Speaker 4: because everybody was just doing, you know, what they thought 409 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:43,120 Speaker 4: was right, you know at the time, Like I said, 410 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,520 Speaker 4: like myself, you know, I thought what I was doing. 411 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 4: Everyone's just making what the decisions that they think are 412 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,720 Speaker 4: the best for them at that point in time. 413 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, have you ever but have you ever 414 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:53,880 Speaker 2: had a chance to talk to any of those guys 415 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:54,800 Speaker 2: or now, have you ever had. 416 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:57,480 Speaker 4: A chance to Yeah, quite a few of them, quite 417 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 4: a few of the guys, you know, and they're always 418 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:00,320 Speaker 4: super cool now, you know. 419 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, even like right after the show. 420 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,680 Speaker 4: Aired, everybody was super cool to me, which was really 421 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,800 Speaker 4: weird because I'm like, why were you fighting? Like why 422 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,159 Speaker 4: were you starting stuff with me on camera? 423 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 2: Yeah? 424 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:12,240 Speaker 3: You could have done this on. 425 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,400 Speaker 4: Like you joined in everyone else, man, Like why didn't 426 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:17,360 Speaker 4: you just talk like this? So it was really kind 427 00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:19,600 Speaker 4: of because then I'm like, wait, was I acting or 428 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:20,320 Speaker 4: were you acting? 429 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 3: You know what I mean? 430 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,520 Speaker 1: How about Jojo? Did you ever have a chance to 431 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:25,880 Speaker 1: talk to her at all? After the show. 432 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:30,239 Speaker 4: No, never, after the show, she kind of got sucked in. 433 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,199 Speaker 4: And I think, you know, I only got to have 434 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,720 Speaker 4: like one or two real conversations with her before she 435 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:39,919 Speaker 4: came across really scripted. Yeah, just like I I just 436 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,919 Speaker 4: having a regular conversation. I was like this, this is 437 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,479 Speaker 4: just a scene now, like we're just shooting a scene. 438 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,880 Speaker 4: So yeah, we kind of you know, and after the show, 439 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,919 Speaker 4: I was, you know, I didn't know what else to do. 440 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,240 Speaker 4: So obviously I was mean to them and attacking everybody 441 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,160 Speaker 4: and stuff, and I had no idea what I was doing. 442 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 3: You know. 443 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,439 Speaker 2: It's interesting, I feel like, so, I mean, you know, 444 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,600 Speaker 2: I think we kind of had opposite experiences on the show. 445 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:04,439 Speaker 1: I was like the I was lucky to get a 446 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:05,320 Speaker 1: real good at it, I. 447 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,919 Speaker 2: Guess in that regard, and you know, and I and 448 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,680 Speaker 2: there was a different, obviously experience for you. And it's 449 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,560 Speaker 2: it's I wonder like a few years later, like when 450 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,159 Speaker 2: did it When did it hit you? When was it 451 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,400 Speaker 2: the moment where you were kind of like you woke 452 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,960 Speaker 2: up one day and you're just like, as I got 453 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,639 Speaker 2: to stop this thing, you know, or when did you 454 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 2: see that you had. 455 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 1: A way out? 456 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:26,520 Speaker 4: Honestly, like it was probably within the last year say 457 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,720 Speaker 4: I'd say, you know, I've you know, one of the 458 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:30,040 Speaker 4: things that you know, having been on the show and 459 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,399 Speaker 4: all has afforded me is the ability of time, so 460 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,680 Speaker 4: you know, not having to like go to work and stuff. 461 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,560 Speaker 4: So I've spent a lot of time soul searching, searching 462 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,879 Speaker 4: for God, going to church, doing all types of different things, meditation, 463 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,719 Speaker 4: and just literally changing who I am as a person. 464 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:49,359 Speaker 4: And you know, looking back on everything that I'd done 465 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 4: and having to forgive myself for all the crazy, crazy 466 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,359 Speaker 4: different you know, not even just the things that I 467 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:57,920 Speaker 4: had done for my own you know, like reputation and 468 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:01,240 Speaker 4: things like that, but like the different ways I hurt 469 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,919 Speaker 4: people for no reason, just like through Twitter, and I 470 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,359 Speaker 4: used to just trash people for like to hope that 471 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,399 Speaker 4: maybe someone would write in an article about it, just 472 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,800 Speaker 4: because hopefully that would lead to something else, because I 473 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,240 Speaker 4: guess I was desperate at the time. 474 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,119 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I look back. 475 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 4: Now and I'm just like, man, that was sad. Like 476 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,240 Speaker 4: you know, everyone else thinks it's like, oh, he's being 477 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,800 Speaker 4: a dick. Really it was just this like kind of 478 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:23,840 Speaker 4: like cry for help, looking for meaning in life. I 479 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 4: had no meaning in life and I had no god, 480 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:31,040 Speaker 4: I had no nothing, and you know, eventually just kind 481 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,040 Speaker 4: of had to grow out of it and you know, 482 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 4: find my own God. And it's not getting the press 483 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:37,520 Speaker 4: article or finding in this. 484 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 2: Now, you know, there is a little vacuum that comes 485 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:43,280 Speaker 2: from that experience, you know, from being well to be, 486 00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,399 Speaker 2: from being infamous in that moment, right, Like you know, 487 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,359 Speaker 2: for a period of time there you were this guy 488 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,160 Speaker 2: that was you know, he didn't care what anybody thought 489 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 2: about him, right, and he's that guy. 490 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,000 Speaker 1: But you know, my mom has always had this thing 491 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:54,800 Speaker 1: that she said to me. 492 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,679 Speaker 2: For years, you know, and it was always like, you know, 493 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,560 Speaker 2: the guys who are making the most noise and pound 494 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:00,879 Speaker 2: of their chest most those are the ones that you 495 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,760 Speaker 2: gotta wonder. You know, that dude needs a hug, you know, 496 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 2: And it's one of those moments. It's like, you know, 497 00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:09,240 Speaker 2: I think of that situation a lot, like you know, 498 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 2: when I think about the stuff you were probably going through, 499 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 2: because I could see that, I could see the. 500 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,520 Speaker 1: Chicken or the egg happening like what happened first. 501 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,719 Speaker 2: And now you're almost like trying to keep up with 502 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:23,960 Speaker 2: what expectations are because the fame is better than the anonymity, 503 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:25,040 Speaker 2: I guess, then. 504 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,800 Speaker 4: Sitting in a quiet room in Oklahoma with no money 505 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 4: and doing nothing with my life like I was doing 506 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,840 Speaker 4: you know years, right, you know, And yeah, that's a 507 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 4: lot of the things too, not just getting just a 508 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,359 Speaker 4: bachelor of a bachelor in Paradise and all that stuff. 509 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:37,560 Speaker 3: You know. 510 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,480 Speaker 4: I I caused a lot of my problems with alcohol, 511 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,480 Speaker 4: like you know I was, and it wasn't an alcoholic 512 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,879 Speaker 4: I guess. There's different ways to explain it. But I 513 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:49,159 Speaker 4: would go on these vendors for ten years. 514 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 3: You know what I mean. 515 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,600 Speaker 4: And I just recently got out of that and fully 516 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:53,280 Speaker 4: quit drinking. 517 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:56,000 Speaker 1: But yeah, well good for you. That's not an easy 518 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:56,399 Speaker 1: thing to do. 519 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:57,840 Speaker 3: I know that. Yeah it was. 520 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,600 Speaker 4: It's been very difficult off and on. And you think 521 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,840 Speaker 4: you're having fun and you think you're you know, when 522 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:06,320 Speaker 4: you're on TV you're making good TV or whatever, or 523 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,160 Speaker 4: you know, I'm on Twitter making some stupid Instagram story. 524 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,520 Speaker 4: It's just like you're just making an idiot of yourself. 525 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,199 Speaker 4: And yeah, you having fun at the time, you just 526 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,719 Speaker 4: have these three day long panic attacks afterwards, and then 527 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,879 Speaker 4: the minute you get better, you do it all over again. 528 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,959 Speaker 3: And I went in that cycle for now. 529 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 4: I mean I was probably going through that, you know, 530 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:25,840 Speaker 4: for another ten years before the show, so it's really 531 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,040 Speaker 4: been about twenty yearsuntil I finally got out of it. 532 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:30,960 Speaker 1: Wow, that's that's a tough pattern to break. 533 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,359 Speaker 3: Man, it's a bad cycle. 534 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,800 Speaker 4: And while in the middle of yah, I'll tell you that, 535 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:35,200 Speaker 4: you know. 536 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:38,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, Chad, I'm gonna stop you right there. 537 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:39,639 Speaker 1: We're gonna take a break. 538 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 2: This has been part one of Infamous Sometimes Roses are 539 00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:48,160 Speaker 2: Red Flags with Chad Johnson, and we will come back 540 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,520 Speaker 2: and get a little bit more into detail with part 541 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,920 Speaker 2: two in just a few days. Follow the Ben and 542 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:58,200 Speaker 2: Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever 543 00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,399 Speaker 2: you listen to podcasts.