Speaker 1: Hi, Can I say something in advance? I'm so sorry
Speaker 1: for my accent if it's hard for listeners to understand
Speaker 1: what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: No, not at all. Where are you calling from.
Speaker 1: I'm calling from London, but I'm originally from Russian as
Speaker 1: you can tell, but I leaks here. I've been living here.
Speaker 2: Why how long have you been living in London for?
Speaker 1: I actually just moved in September, but before that, I've
Speaker 1: been going to American International School in Greece for two years,
Speaker 1: so I've been around Europe.
Speaker 2: Definitely, very nice, very nice. Why did you? Maybe I
Speaker 2: know the answer to this question, but why did you
Speaker 2: leave Russia?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, you know the answer to this question.
Speaker 2: Obviously, there you go.
Speaker 1: It's not good there, and my family is definitely not
Speaker 1: welcome there because of our political views. But anyways, I
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about something else, actually.
Speaker 2: Oh sure, please, Yeah, I was.
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about falling in love for the
Speaker 1: first time, because I'm only nineteen, but I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: that I won't ever love anybody else.
Speaker 3: But my first love.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but if you go ahead.
Speaker 1: What I wanted to say is that I'm the kind
Speaker 1: of person who you know when I'm pretty self aware.
Speaker 1: So if I'm delusional, I know I am, and I
Speaker 1: know i'm young. I know I'm wrong about most things.
Speaker 1: I'm fine with that. And when my parents tell me
Speaker 1: something like, oh, you're too young, it's all going to
Speaker 1: be fine, I believe them. But in this specific case,
Speaker 1: I don't think I'll ever love anybody else, and I'm
Speaker 1: completely serious about that. The most important thing, too, is
Speaker 1: that I'm fine with that, like I'm not. I don't
Speaker 1: feel bad about it. I'm okay with that. I just
Speaker 1: know I'll never of anybody else as much.
Speaker 2: You know, Okay, why tell me? Why don't you tell
Speaker 2: me the story? Who had you meet this person? Who
Speaker 2: are they? What happened?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Well, you see, when I was fifteen, I was
Speaker 1: really into punk rock. I was really I had a short,
Speaker 1: black mullet like haircut. I'm hopefully I'll pronounced that right.
Speaker 1: I was really into all tho punk music. I had
Speaker 1: a really big friend group with people who were into
Speaker 1: the same stuff as I was. And this guy was
Speaker 1: one year younger than me, and we became really good
Speaker 1: friends and we dated for a little bit. He basically
Speaker 1: he stopped liking me in about half a year, but
Speaker 1: then we moved to Greece together, you see what happened.
Speaker 1: And in Greece, like I said, been there for two
Speaker 1: years in an American school and we went together, so
Speaker 1: I knew I know him for four years and the
Speaker 1: entire time. Basically, if the story is not that interesting,
Speaker 1: I'm just deeply, deeply in love with this guy. And
Speaker 1: uh it's I don't really want to talk specifically specifically
Speaker 1: about this story because I've a fact it's not interesting.
Speaker 1: But I was wondering if anybody else is in love
Speaker 1: the same way I am where I don't feel pain
Speaker 1: about it, Like I'm not upset that it's not mutual,
Speaker 1: and it isn't mutual, and I'm not upset at the
Speaker 1: fact that it happened, and I'm totally okay with living
Speaker 1: the rest of my life without this person but loving them.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: Uh oh, I have a lot of questions, so, well,
Speaker 2: what is it? Well, what is it that made you
Speaker 2: so in love with this person in the first place?
Speaker 2: Or or or or or actually what is it that
Speaker 2: can continues to make you in love with this person?
Speaker 1: Well, you know, it's really not as important to have
Speaker 1: similar interests of having similar views on life and most
Speaker 1: people know that if they have some experience in romance
Speaker 1: and everything, and we basically have all the same you know,
Speaker 1: values in life. But we're very different people, so it
Speaker 1: makes it really interesting to be with him and to
Speaker 1: talk with him. We agree on the things that do matter,
Speaker 1: but like small stuff, we're completely different people. He's very
Speaker 1: He's the calmest, kindest, most genuine and honest person I've
Speaker 1: ever met, And in the worst times of my life,
Speaker 1: he would always, you know, save me in a way.
Speaker 1: And I don't like if was the reason I'm in
Speaker 1: love with him. I just don't think there's anybody, anybody
Speaker 1: for me who would just make me so, you know,
Speaker 1: make me respect them as much, you know.
Speaker 2: So you say the way you're talking to me about this,
Speaker 2: you're like, okay, I've I'm completely okay. I have resigned.
Speaker 2: You're not like coming in here, You're not like head
Speaker 2: and hands, Oh no, boo, who I'm not gonna fall
Speaker 2: in love with anyone else. You have calmly, quietly decided
Speaker 2: you will never find love again, and you're not bummed
Speaker 2: out about it. Tell me about that feeling. Why do
Speaker 2: you feel like, why are you not? Why have you
Speaker 2: decided that? And then why are you not bummed out
Speaker 2: about it?
Speaker 1: See, that's exactly what I wanted to talk about, because
Speaker 1: obviously when I tell people that, the reaction, the instant
Speaker 1: reaction is, oh, no, it's gonna be fine, You're gonna
Speaker 1: But I'm fine already. I'm fine with that. And what
Speaker 1: I feel is I'm definitely going to find someone else,
Speaker 1: And I mean, I'm attracted to other men, not going
Speaker 1: to lie. But it's just not the same as with
Speaker 1: that one person. I can't even call him a guy
Speaker 1: because he's a person in my brain, in my heart,
Speaker 1: he's something beyond other people to me, like and I know,
Speaker 1: you know a lot of people tell me that if
Speaker 1: he really was her soulmate, then it would be mutual,
Speaker 1: and I understand where they're coming from, but I just
Speaker 1: don't think. I just don't think that. Because we met
Speaker 1: when we were very young. Maybe if the time and
Speaker 1: place was wrong, maybe there was something wrong in my behavior,
Speaker 1: but I don't really think about that. What I feel
Speaker 1: is that it's always in the back of my mind.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to come back to the main topic because
Speaker 1: I keep for trailing off, but yeah, it's always in
Speaker 1: the back of my mind. I am. I'm I'm a
Speaker 1: happy person. I'm first year in university. I've met so
Speaker 1: many new people here in London. It's amazing. It's very fun.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't think it will ever pass. And
Speaker 1: I haven't been talking to him for half a year now,
Speaker 1: not a single word, And I'm fine with that because
Speaker 1: I'm not even attached to him. You know, I don't
Speaker 1: have any attachments, not emotional, not anything. I just love
Speaker 1: this person and I will forever love him more than
Speaker 1: anybody else.
Speaker 2: That I mean, everything you just described is like a
Speaker 2: that's a very that's like a it's like a very
Speaker 2: mature way to view your relationships and your love life.
Speaker 2: I don't know why, Like that's kind of the ideal
Speaker 2: thing as you you recognize, like when you fall in
Speaker 2: love with someone and when it doesn't work out, you
Speaker 2: kind of reckon. You can still kind of recognize the
Speaker 2: uniqueness of that individual, and and yeah, you can say, oh,
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'll ever meet somebody like them
Speaker 2: for the rest of my life, which is probably true
Speaker 2: when it comes to yeah individuals, but ye uh, and
Speaker 2: then and then just be like I think it's oh yeah,
Speaker 2: to be like I loved them I still love them.
Speaker 2: I have no attachment to them. I'm moving on with
Speaker 2: my life. I wish them well, they're moving on with
Speaker 2: their life. But I still love them, and I carry
Speaker 2: that love with me as I in kind of a
Speaker 2: fucking hippie way. I carry all the love that I've
Speaker 2: ever had for anyone and that anyone's ever had with
Speaker 2: me throughout my whole life. Blah blah blah yah yah yuck.
Speaker 2: But uh, but what I don't understand is you've come
Speaker 2: to this is when you said I'll never love someone
Speaker 2: ever again. That makes no sense to me because being like, sure,
Speaker 2: if you want to be like, I'm not going to
Speaker 2: meet someone like them ever again, and I'm okay with that,
Speaker 2: but you can. But you are you going You're obviously
Speaker 2: going to throughout your life meet especially because you're only nineteen,
Speaker 2: You're gonna meet other people who you'll will unlock new
Speaker 2: things about yourself. You're gonna, you know, develop as a person,
Speaker 2: and you're the kinds of people that you're attracted to develops,
Speaker 2: and the kinds of people who are attracted to you develops,
Speaker 2: and you become a different person. Everyone arounds you becomes
Speaker 2: a different person. So I don't understand. I guess why
Speaker 2: you're saying, Oh, I'm never gonna fall in love with anyone.
Speaker 2: What I meant that's the thing that I don't understand.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what I meant by that, it's I'm sorry. I'm
Speaker 1: also stuttering because I'm so nervous, but yeah, what I
Speaker 1: meant by that if it's not going to be the same,
Speaker 1: which is obviously true. And also, you know, you have
Speaker 1: you seen on TikTok like videos of older people who
Speaker 1: are like, I still think about my first girlfriend or
Speaker 1: my first boyfriend, and people in the comments are like,
Speaker 1: I'm so scared, but I don't. I don't understand. Why
Speaker 1: would you be scared of that? Because I don't think
Speaker 1: I will be unhappy in my life. Feel like, I
Speaker 1: think I will love somebody else, but it won't be
Speaker 1: ever the same. And I'm not trying to compare love
Speaker 1: because it's a very unhealthy thing to do, but I
Speaker 1: don't think it will ever be the same. And I
Speaker 1: also think that I will forever remember him. It doesn't
Speaker 1: mean I won't be happy, but I will forever have
Speaker 1: a you know, a part of my heart given to
Speaker 1: that specific person, even though I will probably meet a
Speaker 1: lot of different people, and I will love again, but
Speaker 1: it won't be the same. And I'm convinced I will
Speaker 1: never forget him because what people think about Let me
Speaker 1: stop for a second. When you are in a new relationship,
Speaker 1: it's almost like you should forget about your previous ones
Speaker 1: and like fall in love and it's the one, and
Speaker 1: you're saying, no, the person who was for me is
Speaker 1: in my past, And why is that not the scenarios
Speaker 1: that people talk about? Why is it always the one
Speaker 1: for me? We're together?
Speaker 2: Hold on, hold on? What is the one for you?
Speaker 3: Man?
Speaker 1: The person that, in my humble opinion, is perfect for me,
Speaker 1: somebody that will never be replaced by anybody else in
Speaker 1: any way, shape or form emotionally. Uh cannot create the
Speaker 1: same connection as the person. Nobody can create this connection.
Speaker 2: Well, sure, you know, yes, you're never gonna have the
Speaker 2: same connection with somebody that you had with somebody else,
Speaker 2: because those connections are all unique. But this kind of
Speaker 2: like it's the word monolithic applicable here. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know if that means like God, but it's
Speaker 2: kind of like thing of there is one finite connection
Speaker 2: for me, and it has passed and it's gone, and
Speaker 2: I'll have other connections, sure, but the one that was
Speaker 2: really meant for me is in the past. That I
Speaker 2: don't agree with everything else that you've said. I think
Speaker 2: is very explain why actually a pretty a pretty mature
Speaker 2: way to kind of move through your romantic life and
Speaker 2: a healthy way to do it. But explain why, well,
Speaker 2: because you have no fucking idea, because you're only also
Speaker 2: also the you're gonna like you at nineteen and you
Speaker 2: at thirty are going to be two completely different people.
Speaker 2: And the your eighteen year old boyfriend who was perfect
Speaker 2: for you at that time is not going to be
Speaker 2: the same. It's not going to be perfect for you
Speaker 2: at another time in your life. So that the idea
Speaker 2: that doesn't add up to me, This idea that there
Speaker 2: was one perfect person for you for all of the
Speaker 2: time that you will ever be alive and they're gone,
Speaker 2: that doesn't add up to me.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but you know what you said before, where you
Speaker 5: were like that, I really appreciated what that person did
Speaker 5: for me at the time that they were in my life,
Speaker 5: and I have a deep love for them, and I
Speaker 5: have a deep appreciation for the connection that we shared,
Speaker 5: and blah blah, blah yah, yak yak, that all made sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, it's just that, you know, it's when
Speaker 1: you're so in love. Honestly, it's I understand because obviously
Speaker 1: I hope, I really hope I won't be the same
Speaker 1: as I am now when I'm thirty. But yeah, it's
Speaker 1: just the thought that I would spend the rest of
Speaker 1: my life with him, you know, Happily, I'm okay with
Speaker 1: not spending the rest of my life with him, but
Speaker 1: I would just spend the rest of my life with
Speaker 1: this one person because you know, we grew up together too,
Speaker 1: and I know that in a healthy relationship you change
Speaker 1: and grow together. And because after we broke up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm I'm sorry to interrupt you, but but
Speaker 2: you're yeah, but you're gonna you're you you You literally
Speaker 2: can't see it because you haven't experienced it. But you'll
Speaker 2: develop and change and meet new people and all this stuff.
Speaker 2: But I'm not worried about you because you seem like
Speaker 2: you have a pretty healthy perspective on it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you. Have you ever been in love yourself?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Sure, Yeah, I've been in love myself, and I I
Speaker 2: kind of take a similar approach to it. As as
Speaker 2: you do. That's like, oh, you know, I really really
Speaker 2: loved this person and I really uh was was fond
Speaker 2: of the connection that I shared with them, and I
Speaker 2: I feel really positively about them and I have I'm
Speaker 2: really hopeful for them in their in their life, but
Speaker 2: I understand at the same time why things didn't work out,
Speaker 2: and I have faith that I will, you know, continue
Speaker 2: to love again.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So do you think you'll ever experience the same,
Speaker 1: like the same I would say, a feeling as strong
Speaker 1: as that one ever again? Do you think it will happen?
Speaker 2: Uh? Yeah, I have faith that I will find someone
Speaker 2: that you know well, because when I think about those feelings,
Speaker 2: I think about like, you know, trust and comfortability and
Speaker 2: connection and all those things, and I'm like, yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: I'm I'm about to turn twenty seven, but I still
Speaker 2: have a strong faith that I'll find all those things
Speaker 2: in my life. I mean, my parents are in there.
Speaker 2: My parents are divorced and they both got re married,
Speaker 2: and they both the people that they got both of
Speaker 2: their remarriages are are going really well. I think they're
Speaker 2: both both of the relationships that my parents are in
Speaker 2: now are way better than the relationship that they had
Speaker 2: with each other, and both of them they met their
Speaker 2: spouses on fucking jay date in when they were both
Speaker 2: in their like late forties or something like that. So
Speaker 2: it took both of my parents until they're late forties
Speaker 2: to find the person that they're with now that they're
Speaker 2: they're really happy with. And I think I think about
Speaker 2: that a lot, and I think that's that's really nice.
Speaker 2: And so yeah and so and so my dad, I think,
Speaker 2: started dating his current wife and my mom started they
Speaker 2: started dating her current husband. I want to say, around
Speaker 2: like fucking forty nine years old maybe, so that's about
Speaker 2: thirty years older than you are, and that's three years
Speaker 2: longer than I have been alive. So that's kind of
Speaker 2: the perspective that I have on it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Why I said I can relate to that is that, see,
Speaker 1: I'm not stubborn. You're actually changing my perspective. Maybe just
Speaker 1: this one talk is what I needed, because obviously I
Speaker 1: can talk about my healthy perspective all I want, but
Speaker 1: I do have feelings and I am like not going
Speaker 1: out and seeing other people, other men, specifically romantically too much.
Speaker 1: What I wanted to say is my parents are getting
Speaker 1: the right now, because what happened was my mom is
Speaker 1: forty two and she's suddenly, at forty two, just fell
Speaker 1: in love with this one guy from her her work,
Speaker 1: and it's like they're so perfect for each other. I've
Speaker 1: met this person and my my dad is the complete
Speaker 1: opposite of my mother. She's very she's a very happy, outgoing,
Speaker 1: like active person, and he's like grumpy, horrible, scary Russian man,
Speaker 1: you know. And and she just and she just met
Speaker 1: this one guy who is, you know, seems perfect for her.
Speaker 1: Maybe he's not, but she did kind of fall in
Speaker 1: love with him, and you can see her blooming at
Speaker 1: this age. So maybe you're right. Maybe it's not that.
Speaker 1: Maybe you can't even you can't predict anything.
Speaker 2: I guess, Yeah, what so what's that? What's up with
Speaker 2: your dad? Is he is he like are you do
Speaker 2: you have a good relationship with him? Or is he
Speaker 2: kind of wild?
Speaker 1: He's he's not too wild, but uh, he's basically this
Speaker 1: guy that I felt fell in love with. He's like
Speaker 1: a carbon copy emotionally as my dad, and like he.
Speaker 2: Has this the guy, the guy that this guy who's
Speaker 2: this guy who you are talking about that you were
Speaker 2: in love with is a carbon copy of your father.
Speaker 1: Not physically, but I mean like he reminds everyone of
Speaker 1: my dad, and everyone has been saying that he's like
Speaker 1: a little little Dmitri, you know, which is weird a
Speaker 1: little bit. It weirds me out, but it is true.
Speaker 1: And my father is very emotionally absent. He isn't I
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 3: I hope.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying. He lost his parents when he was
Speaker 1: a child, so he's obviously very emotionally damaged. But he's
Speaker 1: one of those people who say, ah, let me put
Speaker 1: on a really really hard rational therapy. Is not true
Speaker 1: it it doesn't help, or I have to go to
Speaker 1: work and then it will be okay. This is what
Speaker 1: it tells all the time. And basically, yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: really have a good relationship with him. I would say
Speaker 1: I don't have a relationship with him at all because
Speaker 1: there's just nothing very emotionally. Obviously, he sent me to London.
Speaker 1: I'm very grateful he gave me a lot of money,
Speaker 1: but money doesn't buy an emotional bones, I guess. And
Speaker 1: he's the same way with my mother and everybody else
Speaker 1: because obviously he had a really rough childhood. And I
Speaker 1: don't blame him. I love him still, but I guess
Speaker 1: I don't really have a healthy really show with him.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna play utter armchair therapist, which I guess is
Speaker 2: kind of my job. You should This is, by the way,
Speaker 2: something to talk to a real therapist about it, but
Speaker 2: like anecdotally as a as a outside observer, as or
Speaker 2: just a random guy, not a real therapist, not a
Speaker 2: real psychologist. But are you like do you are you
Speaker 2: like looking like are you trying to like get what
Speaker 2: you couldn't get from your dad from this guy because
Speaker 2: he reminds you of your dad?
Speaker 1: Well, it's you know, it's very in a way. In
Speaker 1: a way, yes, but what I think of it myself
Speaker 1: because obviously I've thought about that, just so you know,
Speaker 1: I am. I was in therapy and like I know
Speaker 1: a thing or two. So it's fine, there's nothing wrong
Speaker 1: you can say to me. But yeah, because you know,
Speaker 1: I couldn't ever get my dad to have something emotional
Speaker 1: with me like to He doesn't show emotions in general,
Speaker 1: and he's never It's very funny. Me and my sister
Speaker 1: are always like we you know, sitting there together and like,
Speaker 1: have have our dad ever hugged us? And she's like, no,
Speaker 1: has he ever told you he loved you. I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: but yeah, but he clearly does. He just doesn't say that.
Speaker 1: And I guess when a person is similar to my dad,
Speaker 1: like this guy, and he how some emotion, it's almost like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's weird. I'm sorry for the sounds.
Speaker 1: Let me close the window. But yeah, there is some connection,
Speaker 1: I guess. But it weird me out to think about that,
Speaker 1: because what does my dad have to do with my
Speaker 1: romantic life?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 2: Hmmm, yeah, yeah, what's your When you said you were
Speaker 2: seeing a therapist, what they say about all this?
Speaker 1: Uh? You know, I'm That's why I have a really
Speaker 1: healthy perspective because I know what is writes, what's the
Speaker 1: right way of thinking. But I don't really talk about
Speaker 1: that because it doesn't make me feel better. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of different things in my life that I need
Speaker 1: therapy for, but this in particular, I don't really care about.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to talk about that because I think
Speaker 1: I was wondering if people in general experience the same
Speaker 1: amount of not caring that seemingly a lot of you
Speaker 1: life will ever be with you, And I guess, well,
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm scared to open the well hold on, hold hold on,
Speaker 2: I mean the this let me understand what you just said.
Speaker 2: Do other people similarly not care that they will never
Speaker 2: find love again? But there's there's but there's like no fallacy,
Speaker 2: but there's at is that? What is that what you're saying.
Speaker 1: I'm saying, are there other people who are in love
Speaker 1: but they also don't care about the feelings, so they
Speaker 1: continue on with their life, they don't talk to the person.
Speaker 2: Well, hold on, there's a lot of there's a lot
Speaker 2: of fallacies. I think of what you said, because you
Speaker 2: don't I don't you don't not care, do I? I
Speaker 2: don't From from Mianda, from talking to you, don't seem
Speaker 2: like you don't care. You clear, you've stated that you
Speaker 2: care about this person. You've stated that you love them,
Speaker 2: You've stated a lot of things that show that you care.
Speaker 2: You're just not as you're saying, like are You're just
Speaker 2: saying you're not emotionally attached or invested, which is not
Speaker 2: the same as not caring. It's just you're like, from
Speaker 2: my understanding, it sounds like a healthy way of moving
Speaker 2: on from a relationship and continuing on with your life.
Speaker 2: That's not the same as like not caring.
Speaker 1: I guess you're right. I've never thought of it like that,
Speaker 1: but I guess you are right. I just because when
Speaker 1: people are in love and it's not mutual, I they
Speaker 1: seem to you know, they seem to be crying.
Speaker 2: Every day, like, yeah, they.
Speaker 1: Seem insane, but I'm not insane.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they good. Good. You shouldn't be insane. You should
Speaker 2: you're You're shouldn't be insane. I think you should absolutely
Speaker 2: not be going insane that your high school boyfriend doesn't
Speaker 2: like you back. I think that's that's a good thing
Speaker 2: to not be going insane over. I don't think that.
Speaker 2: I don't think that you should be going insane over
Speaker 2: the fact that you're not going insane either, So you don't.
Speaker 2: I'm not concerned in this scenario. What do you what
Speaker 2: do you so? What are you in school? Are you
Speaker 2: like in college now? Or what do you what are
Speaker 2: you in school for?
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm I am in a business school, which
Speaker 1: is embarrassing to say. I see Instagram reels all the
Speaker 1: time about computer science majors and people attending business school
Speaker 1: not having a job in ten years, and I partially agree,
Speaker 1: but partially I will have a job.
Speaker 2: Hopefully it's okay. Nobody's going to have a job in
Speaker 2: ten years, so we can yeah the tunnels together.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, it's really fund out here.
Speaker 2: What's your name again?
Speaker 1: Oh? My name is Sasha.
Speaker 2: Sasha, Sasha is well. I guess I can take a
Speaker 2: couple of questions from the chat. If they have any,
Speaker 2: let me. I'll read them out to you. You don't have
Speaker 2: to read the chat. If the chat has any questions,
Speaker 2: I will I will give I got to give them
Speaker 2: a second.
Speaker 3: Two.
Speaker 2: Someone said, is borts going? Who the hell is that?
Speaker 1: It's like it's a Russian. It's not a Russian soup.
Speaker 1: It's a Ukrainian So I just want people to know that.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's I couldn't hear the question. But the
Speaker 1: soup is amazing. You should definitely do it to try
Speaker 1: to brew it at home. It's very easy thing to cook.
Speaker 2: Someone said, what's your favorite pizza topping? I don't know
Speaker 2: if that's that's not? Yeah, go ahead, you can answer that.
Speaker 1: Do you think it's a both question or a real person? Uh?
Speaker 1: My favorite. I might get hate for that, but I
Speaker 1: don't like any topics.
Speaker 6: I just love Margarita that it's like Oh, sorry, go ahead, well,
Speaker 6: someone said, someone said, did she just called borch Ukrainian?
Speaker 2: Is it Ukrainian or is it Russian?
Speaker 1: It's it's a Ukrainian soup, and I'm Russian. I'm as
Speaker 1: a Russian. I would love to claim Borsche, but it's not.
Speaker 1: It's not Russian, it's she's Ukrainian.
Speaker 2: Someone said, is your dad, how's your dad doing with
Speaker 2: the divorce?
Speaker 1: Oh, he's uh, he's going insane. He's uh, he started drinking.
Speaker 1: He's he's pretty much. Yeah, he's going insane, completely insane.
Speaker 1: He's been ignoring my mom for the past twenty years
Speaker 1: of their marriage, and now when she's finally free, obviously
Speaker 1: he remembered that he had a wife and now she's gone.
Speaker 1: So he's gone insane, and I do feel bad for him,
Speaker 1: but yeah, he's been neglecting this marriage this entire time.
Speaker 2: Someone said, how's your relationship with your mom?
Speaker 1: With my mom, it's good. I mean, it's very trusting.
Speaker 1: I trust her a lot. My mom is you know,
Speaker 1: she's a very loving person. But I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't think I have a strong emotional, necessarily emotional bond
Speaker 1: with both my parents.
Speaker 2: But yeah, Someone asked, what do you do for fun?
Speaker 1: For fun? I like that light hearted questions. Well, for fun,
Speaker 1: I draw a lot. I'm an artist. And I also
Speaker 1: I am trying to learn Python and like coating, any
Speaker 1: type of coating, honestly, because I think it's very It's
Speaker 1: a thing that everybody has to know how to do
Speaker 1: who wants to get a good job. So I'm trying
Speaker 1: to learn code, and it's it's very bad. It's very bad.
Speaker 2: Well, what's your what's your name again?
Speaker 1: My name is Sasha.
Speaker 2: Sasha, Well, Sasha, good luck to you. I think I
Speaker 2: think you're gonna be fine, but I I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know if any I don't know if anything
Speaker 2: will ever be fine, or if I'm gonna be fine,
Speaker 2: or if you're gonna be I don't know anything, but
Speaker 2: I have I don't know anything, but I'm optimistic. I'm
Speaker 2: optimistic that you and I will both be doing and
Speaker 2: so everything. The sun will rise again, and yeah, whatever
Speaker 2: all that stuff. Is there anything else you want to
Speaker 2: say to the pe the computer before we go?
Speaker 1: Yeah, guys, all of you will be fine, me Lyle
Speaker 1: and everybody else, we all will be fine and loved.
Speaker 2: Here's hoping.
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2: Here's hoping. All right, take care, Sasha, thanks for calling.
Speaker 2: Bye bye, m I gotta try me some of this
Speaker 2: porch Porsche Bork. What's in it? I should have asked
Speaker 2: her what was in it? I really like soup. Soup's good.
Speaker 2: It's a hearty meal. I'm gonna do an advertisement for
Speaker 2: soup right now. Not not. This is a free advertisement
Speaker 2: for soup. Right before we get into the real advertisements.
Speaker 2: This is this is just a general advertisement for soup.
Speaker 2: I think soup is really good. That's my ad for soup. Hello, Hey,
Speaker 2: what's up?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 2: What's your name?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 4: Walker or Jesse Walker?
Speaker 2: What's up? Walker? What do you have to What are
Speaker 2: you doing?
Speaker 3: Just got off work?
Speaker 4: Man? Yeah?
Speaker 2: What what do you do for work?
Speaker 4: I'm in the military.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, what what branch of the military?
Speaker 3: Army?
Speaker 2: So how's that going for you? Because on this show,
Speaker 2: I don't know if you listened to the show, but
Speaker 2: I've had a lot of people call in who are like,
Speaker 2: they're like debating if they should join the military, and like,
Speaker 2: I've talked to people who have and they they enjoyed
Speaker 2: the results of their decision. And I've talked to people
Speaker 2: who are not enjoying the results of their decision. So
Speaker 2: I'm curious where where you're at with that.
Speaker 3: Oh, I mean I've been in for like, uh, it's
Speaker 3: like a year and a half now, roughly. I think
Speaker 3: I texted you about it, like just being like a
Speaker 3: new new like private, new soldier in the army. I
Speaker 3: think it's a great vision. The military is probably better
Speaker 3: decision that I made compared to you know, how I
Speaker 3: was living my life prior.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, what tell me about that?
Speaker 3: I lived on my own. You know, I moved out
Speaker 3: of my folks house when I was like twenty and
Speaker 3: my mom didn't really want me to leave, you know,
Speaker 3: she was. She was super worried, super worried about me
Speaker 3: wanting to move out. I'm sorry, dude, I'm like, I'm
Speaker 3: really excited. My roommates like try to look at look
Speaker 3: up your screen because we didn't think we would make
Speaker 3: it on But oh yeah, I lived on my own
Speaker 3: for a little bit at twenty years old, by myself,
Speaker 3: no roommates. It was great. I was a supervisor at
Speaker 3: an arcade like prior to joining the military, and that
Speaker 3: was really fun. But people at arcades are kind of, uh,
Speaker 3: they're not the best people to work around all the time.
Speaker 2: So what you said that this was better than the
Speaker 2: life you were living before. So why was the life
Speaker 2: you were living before, Uh not satisfactory to you?
Speaker 3: Well, I felt like I didn't have like I didn't
Speaker 3: have any roommates, right, So, like I just I was
Speaker 3: by myself. Man, I have like a girlfriend or anything.
Speaker 3: And I spent a lot of time alone. Like I
Speaker 3: come home from work.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 3: And I loved my job. I loved interacting with people arcades.
Speaker 3: I like to think I was pretty good at what
Speaker 3: I do since I made it up the supervisor. But
Speaker 3: I love my job. But I'd come home and I'd
Speaker 3: be around all these people and customers and and I
Speaker 3: come home and I'd just be upset, you know that
Speaker 3: I'm alone. And I would have on like online friends
Speaker 3: to play games with us, but like they wouldn't you know,
Speaker 3: they wouldn't always be on. So I'd just be sitting
Speaker 3: there by myself and and god, god, I'll say, don't
Speaker 3: see this, but like, dude, like I got into like edibles,
Speaker 3: and I like start make edibles. Just like I could
Speaker 3: feel something, you know, when I was there by myself,
Speaker 3: and I was really lonely, I quit, you know, since
Speaker 3: I joined the military because I can't do that in
Speaker 3: the military.
Speaker 2: Interesting. Interesting, yeah, I I I. I it's funny listening
Speaker 2: to uh you say this because I'm I'm not exactly uh,
Speaker 2: I don't exactly find the concept of getting high alone
Speaker 2: in your apartment to feel something to be foreign. So
Speaker 2: I get what you're saying. And then so how long
Speaker 2: when did you join the military, and then what made
Speaker 2: you ultimately decide that you wanted.
Speaker 7: To do that?
Speaker 3: Oh, like I joined, like said man, I joined like
Speaker 3: twenty twenty three, Like I'm brand new, dude.
Speaker 2: Like, so, so why why the military? What made you
Speaker 2: want to join?
Speaker 3: Dude? Because I feel it there was like no other
Speaker 3: options I did, like, like I quit my job, and like,
Speaker 3: you probably shouldn't cut your job before you move out
Speaker 3: of your apartment because I didn't know I had to
Speaker 3: pay for rent, so after work it is like moving place.
Speaker 3: And I thought other jobs could feel the spot. But
Speaker 3: I was really out of shape at the time too,
Speaker 3: and I was just really just upset on my life.
Speaker 3: I was happy that I had moved out, but like,
Speaker 3: I don't know, man, I guess I just didn't feel
Speaker 3: like I had achieved enough, and bro, I was not
Speaker 3: going back to school, Like I went to school for
Speaker 3: two years. I basically have an associate's degree. I'm not
Speaker 3: going back. So I thought it'd be a great choice.
Speaker 3: It can get me in shape, get me some discipline.
Speaker 3: You know, it was worth it, you know, basically can
Speaker 3: ai t weren't fun. Don't let don't believe what people
Speaker 3: tell you when they say, oh, these new soldiers don't
Speaker 3: have a hard time. Basically, no, they kicked They kick
Speaker 3: our ass.
Speaker 2: I have I have never ever ever heard somebody say
Speaker 2: that basic training for the army is not that hard.
Speaker 3: Oh dude, No, it's the old it's the older guys.
Speaker 3: This is the guys that like already been in for
Speaker 3: like ten twelve years. They're like, yeah, they don't, they
Speaker 3: don't beat the shit out of you guys like they should.
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, because for them, for them, but they
Speaker 2: actually got the They literally the guy would beat the
Speaker 2: ship out of them. You know, they weren't just making
Speaker 2: you do push ups and stuff back then.
Speaker 3: I mean that's fair, but I have seen some people
Speaker 3: get like tossed and thrown around to the ground, and
Speaker 3: I thought it was pretty funny. I mean, I ended
Speaker 3: up being on. I ended up getting my collar choked
Speaker 3: to the wall. And you know, people don't believe that
Speaker 3: this happens because.
Speaker 2: Wait, wait wait wait, wait wait wait somebody somebody choked
Speaker 2: you out.
Speaker 3: No they didn't. So they grabbed me by the collar.
Speaker 3: They like pushed me up against a locker because like
Speaker 3: there was like a case going on in our Basic
Speaker 3: and I wasn't I had some information and I wasn't
Speaker 3: gonna reveal uh, and my Jill surn just had enough
Speaker 3: and he grabbed me about a collar and he just
Speaker 3: took me to my locker and he's just like, what
Speaker 3: do you fucking know? And I'm like, I don't know
Speaker 3: any take please unhand me.
Speaker 2: So so there was a case going on and you
Speaker 2: were like, I'm not, but did you know? Like did
Speaker 2: you did you have this information? But you just didn't
Speaker 2: want to snitch?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Like do you snitch? Yeah? It's kind of like, Jill,
Speaker 3: do you snitch in there?
Speaker 4: Dude?
Speaker 3: You snitching Basic or something? Your your your rep is gone? Man,
Speaker 3: Like no one, no one's gonna tell you ever, damn.
Speaker 2: So what can I ask what the case was? Or
Speaker 2: or is the statue of limitations up on that or
Speaker 2: are you gonna get I don't want you to get
Speaker 2: beaten up for uh snitching to the gecko. But I
Speaker 2: don't know if I don't know if this is old news.
Speaker 3: It's pretty old. It was probably some petty stuff, you know. Uh,
Speaker 3: I don't know if you know what SHARP is. But
Speaker 3: it's like our program to prevent like sexual assault and stuff.
Speaker 3: I think it's pretty effective, but it's not as effective
Speaker 3: as it should be because it still goes. The stuff
Speaker 3: still happens in the military, sadly. But it was a
Speaker 3: SHARP case, like a sexual harassment case. Yeah, not assault,
Speaker 3: of course, but like one there was a girl there
Speaker 3: that felt like uncomfortable with one of the guys and
Speaker 3: our platoon and apparently he had stole some of her
Speaker 3: clothes or something, and it was like stashing them in
Speaker 3: his locker.
Speaker 1: It.
Speaker 3: Man, you'll do You'll meet the weirdest people and basically changed,
Speaker 3: I mean, the most immature, like dumbest idiots ever. And
Speaker 3: then you'll meet like these pep performing officer ready guys
Speaker 3: that come in like as a specialist and they're just
Speaker 3: like the best of the best. And then he just
Speaker 3: got like the dumbit there's dude, it's anyone can join,
Speaker 3: Like there's no range, like you can all ranges of people.
Speaker 3: You'll me.
Speaker 2: So where So after a year and a half. After
Speaker 2: a year and a half, how has it been for you?
Speaker 2: Are you still enjoying it? Was it a good decision?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I I you know, I'm an older guy. Most
Speaker 3: of the guys joined like right out of high school,
Speaker 3: so they're like eighteen nineteen. I'm twenty two, but they
Speaker 3: like joined right out of high school. But I joined
Speaker 3: when I was like twenty one, so I was a
Speaker 3: fairly older guy. I was older than all the new guys.
Speaker 3: So it sucks being like, I guess, treated like I'm
Speaker 3: a kid again, even though like you know, I lived,
Speaker 3: you know, on my own, I took care of myself.
Speaker 3: I'm not a kid. But I understand they do it
Speaker 3: for discipline. I understood why they do it. It's for respect,
Speaker 3: because discipline will either be demise of you or it'll
Speaker 3: save your life. You know, I understand that now. But
Speaker 3: you know, when I first got in, I didn't understand.
Speaker 3: I didn't like being taught down to like I was
Speaker 3: some kid, because you know, I'm a pretty functioning adult.
Speaker 3: You know, for the most part.
Speaker 2: Did you sign a contract where you have to like
Speaker 2: be there for a certain amount of years.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, man, I'm in for six years.
Speaker 2: Yeah? Or how do you feel about that?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Because that's because that's the main thing, right, Like when
Speaker 2: people we had another caller very recently, it might have
Speaker 2: even been on the most recent episode or or two
Speaker 2: episodes ago or whatever, who called in to debate whether
Speaker 2: he wanted to join the military, and he was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, it's a six year contract. And that was
Speaker 2: the thing. That's the thing that I think am like
Speaker 2: the most hung up on is like pledging so much
Speaker 2: of your life to this thing at a young age,
Speaker 2: is it's kind of crazy to me, Like, how do
Speaker 2: you feel about the fact that you have all this
Speaker 2: uh time that you have to be a military guy
Speaker 2: or else? I guess they do they do they kill
Speaker 2: you if you leave.
Speaker 3: No, if you don't serve your time, you'll just go
Speaker 3: to jail. But like guaranteed, yeah if you don't, if
Speaker 3: you don't serve your time, you're going to jail.
Speaker 2: Jesus, they will find you.
Speaker 7: How do you how do you feel about that? I,
Speaker 7: you know, keep my head down and I served my time,
Speaker 7: and I it's it's not hard, like you literally have
Speaker 7: to go a wall, like you have to just be
Speaker 7: lose contact with anyone you knew in the military, uh,
Speaker 7: with your leadership, with your n c O.
Speaker 3: Like you gotta lose you gotta go a wall. Like
Speaker 3: it's really hard to just not do your service. All
Speaker 3: yeaha do show up. That that's like the main if
Speaker 3: you're lower enlisted, like for me, I don't.
Speaker 2: Know, well oh yeah, but but like what if you
Speaker 2: what if you decide you want to do something else?
Speaker 3: Uh you can, oh god, I hope I don't get
Speaker 3: in told you can hurt yourself.
Speaker 4: You can.
Speaker 3: Uh, that's another thing you can if you have like
Speaker 3: a case, like a sharp case against you, you can easily
Speaker 3: get kicked out. You can just like not participate in
Speaker 3: work and just be a horrible soldier. And you know
Speaker 3: that can get your article to a team. You can
Speaker 3: get kicked out.
Speaker 2: Really wait, so you can you well so like if
Speaker 2: so like if you if you decide you don't want to,
Speaker 2: you can just like do it. Like what if you
Speaker 2: just you show up or you just do a shitty
Speaker 2: job and you don't do what you're told and you
Speaker 2: fuck off and like private pile from fucking that fucking movie,
Speaker 2: you know, like like if you just do that, well
Speaker 2: they just kick you out.
Speaker 3: Well, that's that's going against like the code, right, Like
Speaker 3: that's going against the discipline like they try to install. Right,
Speaker 3: So you're gonna catch hell, like one hundred percent, you're
Speaker 3: gonna catch the most hell you ever caught. But if
Speaker 3: you're willing to go through all that just to get
Speaker 3: out of the military, by all means, I wouldn't recommend it.
Speaker 3: I just do the time, and you know, not be
Speaker 3: a bitch, you know, Uh, just do the time. You know, Oh,
Speaker 3: I'm wasting all my years of youth. Like most people
Speaker 3: that say that, they don't they don't know what they
Speaker 3: want to do anyway, and they think they're just gonna
Speaker 3: magically far figure it out. And I'm like, if military
Speaker 3: is already on your mind, you might as well just join.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 3: I wish I joined earlier when I was younger, but
Speaker 3: most most young guys, young females, young guys, young.
Speaker 4: Everyone doesn't know what they're doing.
Speaker 3: I think military is great. Like not all moses have
Speaker 3: to do six years either, Like you can do like
Speaker 3: three four years, Like it's not that bad. Just don't
Speaker 3: do infantry.
Speaker 2: Well, so tell me about So that's it, because look,
Speaker 2: here's the thing from my brain, because this is clearly
Speaker 2: this is a one shoe does not fit all sizes
Speaker 2: situation because I look at your I look at what
Speaker 2: you've everything you've told me, and I'm like, well, that
Speaker 2: sounds like it fucking sucks. But again, I mean that's
Speaker 2: because I don't know. I can't see like pledging like
Speaker 2: six years of my life to the military. But I definitely, definitely,
Speaker 2: definitely can see how for a certain kind of person
Speaker 2: who likes that rigid kind of structure and who likes
Speaker 2: the things that the military does provide, I can see
Speaker 2: how that can be beneficial. But tell me more, Like
Speaker 2: you said that, the people who say, like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: wasting my youth, you push back against that, Tell me
Speaker 2: more why you push back against that.
Speaker 3: I think people that say the wasting the use just
Speaker 3: because like you're preparing yourself for like the real role,
Speaker 3: Like you don't have to stay in like ten twelve
Speaker 3: years at least from my respect this, you know, I
Speaker 3: haven't been in that long. You know, it's like a
Speaker 3: year and a half. And I'm pretty sure any any
Speaker 3: military guy out there can figure out what my rank is.
Speaker 3: I'm not even gonna say what my rank is, but
Speaker 3: just by saying how long I've been it, they probably
Speaker 3: already know what my rank is.
Speaker 4: So I'm not even gonna say it.
Speaker 3: But uh, from my current experience, I don't think it
Speaker 3: was that bad. I think you need to get something
Speaker 3: out of it, you know, Like there's so many things
Speaker 3: that the military offers. Like my goal is to like
Speaker 3: get the military to pay for my school, Like that's
Speaker 3: the main thing most people doing for Like, most people
Speaker 3: aren't fortunate, man, and if you're not, you're not fortunate.
Speaker 3: Your parents aren't rich or anything like that. Like join
Speaker 3: the military, bro, Like free it basic sucks a t guarantee,
Speaker 3: it's gonna suck. It's gonna suck at first, but once
Speaker 3: you once you embrace enjoying the suck, it's really not
Speaker 3: that bad. You get free room and board, a place
Speaker 3: where you can go eat, like any time that's usually
Speaker 3: you know, certain times of the day morning like Grex
Speaker 3: with lunch and dinner for a young person that doesn't
Speaker 3: have ship. Dude, that's like, dude, that's you got a meal. Yes,
Speaker 3: I want to live, you got work, choose an mos
Speaker 3: that like you want to you want to do something
Speaker 3: maybe that you want to do in the future or
Speaker 3: something you just like in the you know, don't be
Speaker 3: a bitch, you know, and you'll be fine.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I uh.
Speaker 2: Well, uh should I was gonna ask you so oh yeah.
Speaker 2: So so you were saying that you want the military
Speaker 2: to pay for school. What do you want to go
Speaker 2: to school for, like.
Speaker 3: For flight school? I want to be a politile.
Speaker 2: That's cool. Well, I don't know, I don't know, man,
Speaker 2: I feel like again, I just can't get over the
Speaker 2: fact of like signing such a well here, you know
Speaker 2: what sucks about being like eighteen is that like all
Speaker 2: these people are trying to get you to sign your
Speaker 2: life away, like because the military, right, They're like, Okay,
Speaker 2: if you give us six years of your life, we'll
Speaker 2: give you this stuff. And if you say I don't
Speaker 2: really want to do that, yeah you can go to college.
Speaker 2: But then college is like, hey, if you give us
Speaker 2: one hundred thousand fucking dollars and take out this huge loan,
Speaker 2: then you know, we'll give you this stuff. And so
Speaker 2: it's pretty easy as an eighteen year old, especially if
Speaker 2: you don't have a lot, to just get like sign
Speaker 2: there's all like as soon as you graduate college, there's
Speaker 2: all these deals with the devil that you can sign.
Speaker 2: And you know what, God bless the people for whom
Speaker 2: it's worked out. But it is a little spooky to
Speaker 2: me that all these really fucking young people are they're
Speaker 2: just they're being offered all these kind of intense options
Speaker 2: straight out the gate.
Speaker 3: I mean, I can't understand that, you know, I can't
Speaker 3: understand that, like being eighteen, like, you know, that's why
Speaker 3: I'm kind of glad, you know, I got a chance.
Speaker 3: You know, when I turned eighteen, I was still working
Speaker 3: at the same job. I worked at that arcade for
Speaker 3: six years since I was fifteen. That's a they hired
Speaker 3: me when I was really young. They did not know
Speaker 3: how old I was. That's sorry, sidetrack, But I was
Speaker 3: working there when I turned eighteen, and I was thinking
Speaker 3: about joining the military, and you know, I just canted it,
Speaker 3: you know, and I lived my life a little bit
Speaker 3: up until the age of twenty where I was like,
Speaker 3: you know, okay, I need to do something in my life,
Speaker 3: so I can understand like joining like right at eighteen
Speaker 3: can be kind of scary, and I you know, I'm
Speaker 3: kind of glad. I say, I wish I would have
Speaker 3: joined earlier, But I'm kind of glad I lived a
Speaker 3: little bit of my own life before I joined, right,
Speaker 3: And I don't think it's like signing a contract with
Speaker 3: the devil. You know, I won't say that that's a
Speaker 3: that's the league street, but well.
Speaker 2: I well, I don't know, I don't know. But let
Speaker 2: me look look, well, let me say this. When you
Speaker 2: say you wanted to uh uh by the way, I'm
Speaker 2: I'm a I'm a crazy person at Gecko Suit. So
Speaker 2: I'm not here to have a hell dude, I'm not
Speaker 2: here to have a discussion about the military industrial complex
Speaker 2: with you. I'm curious when you when you say, when
Speaker 2: you say I wish I'd lived my life a little
Speaker 2: bit more before joining, what is that?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 2: What is you living your life a little bit more?
Speaker 3: Look like, Well, for me, like I said, I already did,
Speaker 3: like I accomplished. I had a job, I was paying
Speaker 3: on the car, and I moved out successfully on my own.
Speaker 3: Those are goals that I just had, like get out
Speaker 3: of my parents' house, you know, continue to pay on
Speaker 3: my car, see you pay on assurance? See how I
Speaker 3: handle living life on my own, no roommates, no nothing.
Speaker 3: It was rough sometimes, but I liked the challe and
Speaker 3: just like figuring out how to take care of myself,
Speaker 3: you know, I thought it was great, especially having your
Speaker 3: own peace of mind. Like, man, my mom, dude, she
Speaker 3: had me right. I love my mom, don't get twisted.
Speaker 3: I do anything my moms need to do. But man,
Speaker 3: she had me running all over the place like I
Speaker 3: had all the time in the world, and I just
Speaker 3: kind of wanted a little piece of my mind. You know.
Speaker 3: It was but that was That's what I mean by
Speaker 3: living my life. You know, I lived a little bit
Speaker 3: of life. You know. I moved out, got what the experience.
Speaker 3: I worked at a job, I went places around Texas.
Speaker 3: I'm from Texas. I went places all around Texas. Uh. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I just think you need to like accomplish something before
Speaker 3: you join a military, because if you consider joining the
Speaker 3: military your only accomplishment, I can see how that can
Speaker 3: be a little that can you know, make you feel like, well,
Speaker 3: I didn't I didn't do ship with my life other
Speaker 3: than joint.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean you were like, well, I mean, how
Speaker 2: much how accomplished are you supposed to be?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 2: At twenty you know, hey.
Speaker 3: Man, in this economy, dude, twenty twenty three, living on
Speaker 3: my own twenty as a as a twenty year old,
Speaker 3: I think that's a great accomplishment. I hold that up
Speaker 3: to myself.
Speaker 4: To this day.
Speaker 3: I don't know how I managed to make it, as Like, dude,
Speaker 3: my rent was like twelve Like, no, it wasn't that day.
Speaker 3: It was like twelve hundred for everything, thirteen hundred roughly
Speaker 3: for everything. Then I had, like my car. No, dude,
Speaker 3: I don't know how I made it. Sometimes God is God.
Speaker 3: God helped me.
Speaker 4: Bro.
Speaker 2: Well, look I'm gonna I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: take a call if I don't know if the chat
Speaker 2: has any twitch chat that I'm recording these on, I
Speaker 2: don't know if they have any questions. You don't have
Speaker 2: to look at the chat. I'll read the questions for you.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I know somebody's gonna do.
Speaker 2: What do you think someone's gonna be.
Speaker 3: Like, uh, someone's definitely gonna ask some crazy questions. I
Speaker 3: was also gonna say, like, my experience in military is
Speaker 3: like not done. So my perspective may change, but thus
Speaker 3: far is not that bag of a gig. I've heard
Speaker 3: some people experience as bad. Some people do the full
Speaker 3: twenty you know, I don't know. Somebody said, we're going
Speaker 3: to take any questions.
Speaker 2: This was the question I was gonna ask. Somebody said,
Speaker 2: what are your plans after you get out?
Speaker 3: Oh dude, That's why I'm like trying to get my
Speaker 3: pilot flight, my commercial and my private spiler's license. While
Speaker 3: I'm in they give me like kind of like I
Speaker 3: think I have to use leave time, but I had
Speaker 3: to use like leave time and stuff to work on
Speaker 3: that stuff. I'm gonna try to do all that and
Speaker 3: get the military to say for that so I can
Speaker 3: be a pilot when I get out of the military.
Speaker 2: Hopefully Ryan's rewind asks are you afraid of war?
Speaker 3: It's a scary thought, you know. But when they asked
Speaker 3: me if I want to be like reserve or National
Speaker 3: Guard or no, those are like the part time people.
Speaker 3: I'm I'm active duty. Those are like I'm not gonna say,
Speaker 3: those are bitch made people. They probably have like their
Speaker 3: own life. They have like kids and stuff. They got
Speaker 3: college and stuff going on. I don't have anything going on.
Speaker 3: That's why I chose actives. But am I afraid of war? Nah?
Speaker 3: But I know I'm not gonna be the same after it.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie to you. It's I would not
Speaker 3: be the same after.
Speaker 2: It's Someone said, I don't know what this means. But
Speaker 2: someone said, what what was your ASVAB score? What does
Speaker 2: that mean?
Speaker 4: As that?
Speaker 3: Oh, it was a sixty eight?
Speaker 4: What is my GT? The as that?
Speaker 3: I just like the test you take before you join
Speaker 3: the military is like you go to a military recruiting office,
Speaker 3: they'll have you at you take this test so you
Speaker 3: can determine what job you are. You don't have to
Speaker 3: study for it, especially if you're like you just got
Speaker 3: out of high school, you definitely don't have to study
Speaker 3: for it, or you're like in college like me. I
Speaker 3: had just quit community college and I took the test.
Speaker 3: It's basically like math, science, English, technical mechanics. I think
Speaker 3: there's some other stuff. It's really easy. In my opinion,
Speaker 3: I didn't think it was that hard. But some people
Speaker 3: don't think it's that easy, and they have to go
Speaker 3: to programs to help them be able to take it
Speaker 3: and pass, and then they'll join the military. That's fun. Fact,
Speaker 3: I was too fat to join the military, so I
Speaker 3: had to send me to fat camp and that was horrible. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that was that was not fun.
Speaker 2: Someone asked, do you think the American Army is on
Speaker 2: the right side of history.
Speaker 3: Uh, that's a great question. That's a great question. It depends, man,
Speaker 3: because like the American military and army specifically has done
Speaker 3: some pretty heinous stuff. Like they tell us about the history,
Speaker 3: like they encourage us to look up the history. Uh,
Speaker 3: and they use like previous military accidents and things that
Speaker 3: we did as like examples of what not to do,
Speaker 3: uh with our current military. But yeah, I don't think
Speaker 3: the military was the best back in the day. Like
Speaker 3: the reasoning sort of military's use, even in peace times
Speaker 3: weren't the best, especially in like when when the military
Speaker 3: was like first made round like eighteen O god, I'm
Speaker 3: supposed to notice eighteen shit what seventeen seventy six? Holy shit,
Speaker 3: seventy seventy five. Oh my god, I almost forgot that
Speaker 3: I was what kind of fucking soldier in mind?
Speaker 2: Do you feel like, yeah, yeah, well, I guess it's
Speaker 2: good that they're like, it's good that they're like, Yo,
Speaker 2: we did all this fucked up crazy stuff in the past,
Speaker 2: so here like learn about it so that we don't
Speaker 2: do it again. Do you feel like, uh, do you
Speaker 2: feel like the military is on a better track now?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think it is. Yeah, I sound
Speaker 3: like I'm a recruiter. That's what I sound like, trying
Speaker 3: to tell people to join. And I don't want to
Speaker 3: sound like I'm atruder. I just I'm having a good time.
Speaker 3: I'm traveling. I'm getting free travel, free room and board.
Speaker 3: All I gotta do is go to work, do my job,
Speaker 3: which sucks. Sometimes go to stupid formations, which also sucks.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I get smoked sometimes too. Any Getting smoked means
Speaker 3: like you get punished usually push ups one just it sucks.
Speaker 3: But other than that, man like, I don't know. I'm
Speaker 3: just I think it's great. I don't think everybody's gonna
Speaker 3: have the same experience.
Speaker 2: What's your name again, Sir, H Walk Walker?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Right right, Well thanks for chatting with me.
Speaker 4: Walker.
Speaker 2: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 2: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 3: Even though I cursed during this, you know, during this call,
Speaker 3: I love I love God, I love to use I
Speaker 3: love your shown. I listened to it.
Speaker 4: All the time.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Walker, But yeah, I want to waste your time.
Speaker 2: Oh you're all good?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: Take care Walker, good luck you too. You know that
Speaker 2: was that was an interesting call. I like, I truly
Speaker 2: I really enjoy uh listening to like alternative perspectives on
Speaker 2: things because it's like, uh, I don't know if you
Speaker 2: guys remember that phone call that we had on the show,
Speaker 2: like however many podcasts ago. It was where there was
Speaker 2: a guy who was like debating whether or not to
Speaker 2: join the military, and I was like, I've had conversations
Speaker 2: like this on the show with people like the guy
Speaker 2: we just talked to a bunch of times, and it's like,
Speaker 2: not everything's gonna work for every person, because there's some
Speaker 2: people we've talked to who have been like, oh, I
Speaker 2: signed away six years of my life and I'm fucking terrified.
Speaker 2: But I don't know, it just goes I think it
Speaker 2: goes to show in general, in general, that there's a
Speaker 2: wide range of lives available two people, and some are
Speaker 2: gonna be a better fit for others than others. It
Speaker 2: just it sucks that like when you're again, like I
Speaker 2: just when when you're eighteen, it's like, well, you can
Speaker 2: join the military and sign away six years of your life,
Speaker 2: or you can take out a gigantic fucking loan or
Speaker 2: you know who I liked is On a previous podcast,
Speaker 2: we talked to this guy who fucking like he was
Speaker 2: graduated from high school and he went and went to
Speaker 2: Yellowstone and just started working there and he had a
Speaker 2: pretty he's been having a pretty good time with that.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you folks remember that guy, but
Speaker 2: I really like that, So I don't know. I guess
Speaker 2: I would say, if you're eighteen and you're just now
Speaker 2: graduating and stuff, there's there's a wide there seems to
Speaker 2: be a wide breadth of options of things to do.
Speaker 2: You can go to fucking volunteer somewhere, take a gap year,
Speaker 2: do something I didn't know. I didn't know. There seems
Speaker 2: to be a wide breadth of options if maybe, if
Speaker 2: you're gung ho on joining the military, it could work
Speaker 2: out for you like it did for this guy. But
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm weary about signing away that much
Speaker 2: time of yourself. But I don't know. I don't know anything.
Speaker 2: I'm a crazy gecko guy. I'm glad it worked out
Speaker 2: for Walker.
Speaker 4: And h.
Speaker 2: Tits. Hello. Hello, what's your name? My name's Jacob, Jacob,
Speaker 2: what's going on with you? Has life How's how's everything?
Speaker 4: It's all right. I'm nineteen and a little lost in life.
Speaker 4: I guess, like a lot of your listeners, sounds.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, well it's funny. If I'm just gonna level
Speaker 2: with you real quick, Jacob is it's it's been I
Speaker 2: think over the years, it's, uh, well, I'm just whatever.
Speaker 2: I don't think I ever set out to. I guess
Speaker 2: start like an advice podcast because I'm almost twenty seven
Speaker 2: and and I've been able to be lucky enough to
Speaker 2: do a lot of stuff. And I'm also actually feeling
Speaker 2: pretty lost in life, eight years older, older than you.
Speaker 2: So it's it's it's, uh, it's tough. It's why are
Speaker 2: you feeling life?
Speaker 4: Uh? Dropped out of college, just stalking shells, not really
Speaker 4: knowing what I want to do. I'll work overnight. It's
Speaker 4: been tiresome.
Speaker 2: Uh, you don't know, do you have inklings of an
Speaker 2: idea of anything you'd want to do?
Speaker 4: No? I just want to like live and try to
Speaker 4: have hobbies and ship.
Speaker 2: Hobbies.
Speaker 4: I don't know. I just smoke weed and collect records.
Speaker 2: I don't know if smoking weed is a hobby.
Speaker 4: If you do as much as I do, I think
Speaker 4: it is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well what how often you smoking weed? I'm also
Speaker 2: a daily weed guy.
Speaker 4: I've been trying to slow down for a while, but
Speaker 4: I felt a joint in day.
Speaker 2: All right, well, so tell you want to have hobbies
Speaker 2: and live like okay, Well, tell me more about why
Speaker 2: you're feeling lost, like what, like, where's your What do
Speaker 2: you long for?
Speaker 4: I long for motivation. That's that's what's been my struggle. Motivation.
Speaker 4: I have goals. I know what I want to do
Speaker 4: kind of not really, but like I want to do it.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: Wait a minute, so you what you said? You have
Speaker 2: your goals and you know what you want to do.
Speaker 2: What do you want to do? Uh?
Speaker 4: Ship? Like?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 4: Fuck? I want to make money and save money and
Speaker 4: be an adult and mostly relationships in life. I want
Speaker 4: to have good relationships and ship.
Speaker 2: Those are good goals. Yeah, man, do you have do
Speaker 2: your friends?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I have a good few good friends. You know,
Speaker 4: high school ended last year. You lose a lot of
Speaker 4: friends after that, the various social persons, so that sucked.
Speaker 4: But I got my good ones and I think that's
Speaker 4: what matters.
Speaker 2: Let's see, you want to make money. How do you
Speaker 2: want to make money?
Speaker 4: I don't know. I've been stocking shelves and that kind
Speaker 4: of makes money. I really have no plan on it.
Speaker 4: I just kind of want to like figure out life.
Speaker 4: I don't know. This shit's all confusing, you know.
Speaker 2: Interesting? Have you like have you tried to like okay,
Speaker 2: so you're like sitting here like, Okay, I know what
Speaker 2: I want to do, I just have to do it.
Speaker 2: So what would what would you what would you just
Speaker 2: doing it look like? Even because you can't just do
Speaker 2: a thing that you don't even know what the thing
Speaker 2: is that you're doing. That's impossible.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I think too, Like sitting at the end
Speaker 4: of every day, satisfied that I actually try.
Speaker 2: That's that's That's not a thing though, Okay, sitting at
Speaker 2: the end, that's a feeling. I'm like you I'm talking
Speaker 2: about Like, huh, that's not it. You didn't describe an action,
Speaker 2: Just now describe it, Okay. What is when you say
Speaker 2: I know what I want to do, I just have
Speaker 2: to do it. What is doing it look like?
Speaker 4: Well, for example, I used to love biking a lot,
Speaker 4: and that's something that made me really happy. I have
Speaker 4: a bike. I just don't get on it anymore. And
Speaker 4: simple stuff, I think, Okay, what's stopping anymore?
Speaker 2: What's stopping you from riding your bike?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 4: Myself? I just lay in bed. I don't know. I
Speaker 4: just I don't have the motivation to really go out
Speaker 4: and do it. I could be I don't know.
Speaker 2: Have you ever talked to a real therapist about any
Speaker 2: of this stuff.
Speaker 4: It's been something that's been on my list. I just
Speaker 4: only have online therapy that's free to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, scary.
Speaker 4: I haven't touched it yet. I'm scared to touch it.
Speaker 3: You have?
Speaker 2: You have free online therapy? Who through what?
Speaker 4: Through? Uh my mom's insurance.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, so you're through your mom's insurance. You get
Speaker 2: free online therapy?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I just I have the app. I just have
Speaker 4: to press the button and then the conversation starts.
Speaker 2: Ah, man, you should do that.
Speaker 4: Ship I've been able to do it for like two
Speaker 4: months and I haven't touched it.
Speaker 2: Ah, you should do it.
Speaker 4: Okay, you're telling me I'll do it.
Speaker 2: There we go, Okay, there we go. We got a thing,
Speaker 2: perfect day done.
Speaker 4: See.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing, right, is like, because I guess what
Speaker 2: I said, like just now when you were like I
Speaker 2: want to be satisfied, and I was like, that's not
Speaker 2: an action. It's like, we got to think of like
Speaker 2: some actual action thing to fucking do make and that's
Speaker 2: I think that's a great that's a great that's a
Speaker 2: great first action to start fucking Oh my god, especially
Speaker 2: if it's free.
Speaker 4: Yeah, dude, this ship's crazy. I've been listening to you
Speaker 4: since COVID.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what's when I started doing this.
Speaker 4: Yeah, man, the big.
Speaker 2: The big. So what are you going to talk to
Speaker 2: your online therapist about.
Speaker 4: All the motivation? Yeah, it's just been motivation. I haven't
Speaker 4: had the motivation in so long. I didn't have the
Speaker 4: motivation my senior year of high school.
Speaker 2: You've seen year of high school. Wasn't that far away,
Speaker 2: was it?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: No, it's twenty twenty two to twenty twenty three.
Speaker 3: Mm.
Speaker 4: That's what's U.
Speaker 3: M hmm.
Speaker 2: What would a real therapist say, I don't know.
Speaker 4: Well, you're not one.
Speaker 2: I know, I'm yeah, well, I I uh well, I
Speaker 2: guess it's so hard because sometimes you know, like you know,
Speaker 2: the Nike just do it thing. Yeah, it's so funny
Speaker 2: because you can I think there's a lot of things
Speaker 2: where you can kind of get into thought loops about
Speaker 2: and go over and over and over about the motivation
Speaker 2: and so that, and like, I think some of this
Speaker 2: ship is chemical, right, and sometimes your brain chemistry is
Speaker 2: just fucked. But other times I am kind of like,
Speaker 2: I think there is a little bit of Nike just
Speaker 2: do it in there of like you just gotta just
Speaker 2: do something, but don't don't overload yourself. I mean, I
Speaker 2: don't know. These are like topics that people have studied
Speaker 2: and written extensively about and come to some forms of conclusion,
Speaker 2: and hopefully, hopefully your online therapist has good conclusions for you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but that's a good place to start, I mean, especially
Speaker 2: especially especially if it's free and you have the opportunity
Speaker 2: to do it without spending a bunch of money.
Speaker 4: So just do it.
Speaker 2: Just do it.
Speaker 4: That's the advice I'm getting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Sorry, it's shitty, but I think it's it's uh,
Speaker 2: that's that's that's all. I that's all. I it's the
Speaker 2: only conclusion I think I have in this moment.
Speaker 4: Well, that probably helps. I'll press the button on.
Speaker 2: My phone and good, please dear God, do that. Oh will,
Speaker 2: what kind of bike do you have?
Speaker 4: Ah? Fuck? I don't know. Uh, Older, that might be
Speaker 4: please really me making it up. It's a cool bike. Fuck,
Speaker 4: I don't even know. I got it from the bike
Speaker 4: shop they sold it to me because.
Speaker 2: My last sounds that sounds like a place where people
Speaker 2: get bikes from.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, it was a vintage bike from the eighties
Speaker 4: or something.
Speaker 2: Really that sounds kind of cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah. It has two wheels and it goes.
Speaker 2: Ride your ride your fucking bike. Man, that sounds fun.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'll ride my bike just so you know.
Speaker 2: When you just so you know, when you're riding your bike,
Speaker 2: where what state do you live in?
Speaker 4: Texas?
Speaker 2: Okay? So is it is it cold?
Speaker 4: It's forty degrees right.
Speaker 2: Now celsius or fahrenheit. That's the dumbest thing I've ever
Speaker 2: asked anyone in my.
Speaker 1: Entire last.
Speaker 2: So it's cold. Yeah, yeah, all right, Well ride your bike.
Speaker 4: I'm still gonna do.
Speaker 2: No, go ride your bike. And I just just so
Speaker 2: you know. I when you're riding your bike in the
Speaker 2: coals and you're outside and you're looking at stuff and people,
Speaker 2: and you're you're out and you're moving your body through space,
Speaker 2: you're really living the height of human experience. I mean
Speaker 2: that you're really doing the most anyone's ever done. When
Speaker 2: you're doing that, it's like that's everything. There's every everything
Speaker 2: is in that you're you're living. I just really understand
Speaker 2: how intensely psychedelic and amazing of an experience that is.
Speaker 2: The just ride your bike down the street. Really like
Speaker 2: soak up all there is to soak in that when
Speaker 2: you're doing it, and you'll be like, huh my life's
Speaker 2: pretty crazy right now.
Speaker 4: Have you riden your electric bike much? I remember you
Speaker 4: talking about that.
Speaker 2: I did. I there was a period. I had a
Speaker 2: period of time where I was obsessed with the idea
Speaker 2: of getting an electric bike and being like an electric
Speaker 2: bike guy. Now, I I don't like I used to
Speaker 2: ride the city bike, but I don't like every every
Speaker 2: single time. It's probably different for you because you're in Texas,
Speaker 2: but in New York City, every single time I try
Speaker 2: to ride a bike, I almost die. I almost get
Speaker 2: hit by a car. Are you in a big city
Speaker 2: or are you in like a like.
Speaker 4: A I'm in like a suburb next to Dallas.
Speaker 2: So okay, perfect, okay, perfect, perfect, So you won't almost die?
Speaker 2: But yeah I didn't. I didn't end up buying the
Speaker 2: e bike because I I just like walking. Okay, walker,
Speaker 2: like that guy, Walker?
Speaker 4: Yeah, Walker, This is cool, Jacob.
Speaker 2: Jacob, Jacob, is there any well before we go? Is
Speaker 2: there anything else that you wanted out of this experience
Speaker 2: that I could provide for you, or any other questions
Speaker 2: for you before we go?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Please?
Speaker 4: Do you know what a fantasia is?
Speaker 2: Say that again?
Speaker 4: A fantasia?
Speaker 2: A santasia?
Speaker 4: Yeah, like p h fan A fantasia?
Speaker 2: Is that? That's that Disney movie?
Speaker 4: No, it sounds like it's the inability to picture things
Speaker 4: in your head.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, I actually have Okay, I actually do kind
Speaker 2: of know. Yeah, okay, I actually do know what this is.
Speaker 3: I do know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I got that. Yeah, oh you do. Yeah, I
Speaker 4: can't picture huh.
Speaker 2: Okay. So I guess everything I say to you about
Speaker 2: picturing yourself. Yeah, I guess that meant nothing to you.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well I don't know.
Speaker 4: I'll go do it and I'll and I'll write it down.
Speaker 2: So I remember, Okay, good, good, yeah good. I'm honestly
Speaker 2: I'm picturing you doing it, and I'm like that nice.
Speaker 2: I'm picturing you. I'm literally picturing you right now riding
Speaker 2: your bike through a suburb of Dallas, looking breathing fresh air,
Speaker 2: and I'm like that sounds really nice. So it's I'm
Speaker 2: doing I'll do it for you right now in this moment.
Speaker 4: Wow, I appreciate that.
Speaker 2: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 2: people of the computer before we go.
Speaker 4: Jacob, other than just do it? I guess that'd be it.
Speaker 2: They have a good one.
Speaker 4: Get bless you.
Speaker 2: I go enjoy your bike ride. Man, I'm living vicariously
Speaker 2: through you on your back. Well, I guess I don't
Speaker 2: have to. I'm gonna after this, I'm gonna probably I'm
Speaker 2: gonna walk outside of my apartments and I'm gonna walk
Speaker 2: around and I'm gonna do the thing that I just
Speaker 2: told you to do, because I just told you to
Speaker 2: do a very hippie bullshit thing. And so I'm gonna
Speaker 2: when I'm walking outside of my apartment today, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: be I'm gonna be like, Okay, i gotta do the
Speaker 2: hippi bullshit thing that I just told that guy on
Speaker 2: the phone to do, where I'm gonna be like soaking
Speaker 2: up the psychedelic experience of walking outside. So I'm gonna
Speaker 2: do this. You've inspired me today, Jacob.
Speaker 4: Great sounds like a plan. We both got something to
Speaker 4: do today.
Speaker 2: I liked it all right, I'll talk. I'll talk to you, uh,
Speaker 2: maybe never again, and maybe in the astral realm.
Speaker 4: If you come back to Dallas, I'll talk to you.
Speaker 4: Have a good one, Jacob, all right bye, thank you.
Speaker 2: I'm doing it. I'm taking a walk. I'm gonna walk
Speaker 2: right now. This is the end of the podcast. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna I'm gonna go outside and take a walk. If
Speaker 2: you're listening to this, maybe you can go outside and
Speaker 2: take a walk. Uh, and we can all walk around together.
Speaker 2: And then Die goes on the line taking your phone
Speaker 2: calls every night.
Speaker 7: Deacon goes doing his eye's teaching you a loud in
Speaker 7: the memory line, but he's not an expert.