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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Samp this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two case Storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient

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Speaker 1: wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want to

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Speaker 1: hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more

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Speaker 1: than they know what to do with, you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to wait for a quick message from our sponsors for

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Speaker 1: the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 2: I told my boyfriend's brother to get a job or

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Speaker 2: move out.

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Speaker 3: Get a job, a freeloader.

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Speaker 4: Get a job.

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Speaker 2: Brokey, my boyfriend will call Sean and I have been

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Speaker 2: together for four and a half years. In that time,

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Speaker 2: his brother, Brandon has held two jobs for maybe a

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Speaker 2: month each. Brandon's days at his mom's house consisted of

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Speaker 2: gaming and sleeping. This bothered me because Shawn's mom would

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Speaker 2: pay for Brandon's gaming equipment door dash, video games, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: And I was simply jealous. I wanted to be him

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Speaker 2: and not have any responsibility. But it was easy to

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Speaker 2: cope because he was living with his mom, not with me.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from User Ready System six'

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Speaker 2: five one one and if you want to submit your own,

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Speaker 2: stories go to the rt Slash Okay storytime supreated It I'm, Dakota.

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Speaker 3: I'm, angie And I'm.

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Speaker 2: Keon according To sean and his, Mom brandon was really

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Speaker 2: social before THE vid and had goals and. Aspirations then

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Speaker 2: the pandemic hit during his senior. Year he didn't get

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Speaker 2: a graduation and all of his ambition passed. Away he's

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Speaker 2: succumbed to severe social anxiety and has trouble leaving the.

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Speaker 2: House he had a job at a grocery store for a,

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Speaker 2: month but quit after his boss took his. Phone then

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Speaker 2: got a job delivering, pizza but had a horrible anxiety

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Speaker 2: attack after delivering the wrong pizza and. QUIT i would

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Speaker 2: be more empathetic to his mental health struggles if he

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Speaker 2: wasn't an a. Hole his whole family accepts that he

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Speaker 2: is an a hole and, says, well that's just how

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Speaker 2: he's always. Ben he's blunt and short, tempered AND i

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Speaker 2: don't like the way he treats his. Cat he would

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Speaker 2: wake up game ordered doort, ash take it to his

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Speaker 2: room and, eat and then continue.

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Speaker 4: Gaming sometimes he would go to the.

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Speaker 2: Gym this took a huge toll on his mental, health

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Speaker 2: and he was self harming for a.

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Speaker 4: Period he wrote a note told his mommy.

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Speaker 2: Needed, help so she got him some, help but the

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Speaker 2: cat stayed in the basement all day by, himself and

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Speaker 2: it just made me.

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Speaker 4: Sad here's where we are, Now.

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Speaker 2: February shawn And brandon's dad has severe health issues which

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Speaker 2: cause him to become, delusional and he thinks their mom

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Speaker 2: is poisoning. Him their mom Has brandon move in with.

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Speaker 2: Us we're living in a two, bedroom two bath apartment

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Speaker 2: with four. Cats mom tells us it's only for a

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Speaker 2: few weeks while she figures out what's.

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Speaker 4: Going on with.

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Speaker 2: DAD i give up my brand new DESK i just

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Speaker 2: got for my, birthday So brandon has a place for

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Speaker 2: his gaming, setup AND i give him my bean bag

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Speaker 2: so he has somewhere to.

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Speaker 4: SLEEP i did this BECAUSE i was under the impression

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Speaker 4: this would be a few Weeks.

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Speaker 2: MARCH i ask for an, update And i'm Told dad

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Speaker 2: has follow up doctor appointments. Scheduled mind, you this man

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Speaker 2: has been dipping since age, thirteen is now fifty six

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Speaker 2: to fifty seven and swallows his dips. Bit he's also

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Speaker 2: been drinking a handle of jack a. Week he had

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Speaker 2: to stop dipping cold turkey and consume less booze because

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Speaker 2: of the health. Issues he also has mental health, issues

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Speaker 2: so it's just not a good, situation AND i was very. Understanding,

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Speaker 2: April brandon is still living with, us no end in.

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Speaker 2: Sight i've been trying to get my brother to move

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Speaker 2: in with us for about two. Years my, Brother Tony,

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Speaker 2: mail was in a bad relationship and my mom isn't

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Speaker 2: a great, mom SO i wanted my brother to live with,

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Speaker 2: us to be in a new environment with a good support.

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Speaker 2: SYSTEM i finally convinced my brother to move, in and

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Speaker 2: we're getting closer to the date we agreed, on which

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Speaker 2: Is july. FIFTH i Ask sean what the plan. Is

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Speaker 2: he says he doesn't, know BUT i should ask his.

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Speaker 2: MOM i text her saying my brother is planning to

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Speaker 2: move in On july fifth and wants to know the

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Speaker 2: plan With. Brandon she says That brandon actually wants to

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Speaker 2: keep living with. Us, Well, brandon it's time to not do.

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Speaker 2: That you don't get to always get what you.

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Speaker 3: Want, yeah why are we not talking To brandon directly?

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Speaker 4: Too why are we fully Grown? Brandon?

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Speaker 2: YEAH i talked To sean and SAY i don't want

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Speaker 2: to live With, brandon And sean, says If brandon doesn't

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Speaker 2: get to live with, us then neither does my.

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Speaker 4: BROTHER i say that's. FINE i text my.

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Speaker 2: Brother and tell him he can't move in BECAUSE i

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Speaker 2: don't want to live With. Brandon sean breaks down and

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Speaker 2: says he still Wants brandon to live with us because

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Speaker 2: he's worried About brandon's mental health and he's afraid his

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Speaker 2: mom won't see the. Signs the joke here is That

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Speaker 2: i'm slowly deteriorating. MENTALLY i too struggle WITH, adhd WHICH

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Speaker 2: i believe causes my anxiety and. Depression there was a

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Speaker 2: two month period WHERE i was having an anxiety attack

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Speaker 2: before work every, morning BUT i still had to go to,

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Speaker 2: work which is where my resentment For brandon comes.

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Speaker 4: From but, FINE i get.

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Speaker 2: IT i Tell sean that's, fine But brandon needs to

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Speaker 2: get a, job and we're getting a house Because i'm

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Speaker 2: done living in an. Apartment we need space for, ourselves the,

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Speaker 2: cats And. Brandon shawn, agrees and we loosely set a

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Speaker 2: date For brandon to have a job By june twenty First,

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Speaker 2: May brandon doesn't seem to be applying for, jobs but

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Speaker 2: apparently applied for two to three jobs in the month Of.

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Speaker 2: May brandon continues his schedule of waking, up, gaming going

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Speaker 2: to the gym With, sean coming home, gaming and going to. Bed,

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Speaker 2: june we have found a house and are rapidly Approaching

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Speaker 2: june twenty. First sean didn't Tell brandon he needed a

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Speaker 2: job by this. Date our closing is set For july twenty.

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Speaker 2: FIRST i Tell sean That brandon has Until july twenty,

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Speaker 2: first And sean says that's. UNREALISTIC i, say that's, fine

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Speaker 2: that just come up with a date. Yourself sean takes

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Speaker 2: a few, days comes back and, Says august twenty.

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Speaker 4: First.

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Speaker 2: FINE i text my brother before we drop off our

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Speaker 2: earnest money to make sure we're still good For july,

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Speaker 2: fifth and he, says, ACTUALLY i don't want to move.

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Speaker 4: In i'm.

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Speaker 2: LIVID i go home for lunch And i'm venting To

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Speaker 2: sean about how PISSED i, am And brandon overhears me

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Speaker 2: and Tell sean he'll do whatever it takes to make

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Speaker 2: sure we can get into this. House sean AND i

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Speaker 2: decide my brother isn't allowed to move in with us

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Speaker 2: for a. While we did not plan on getting a

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Speaker 2: house this. Year we got a house Because brandon and

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Speaker 2: my brother both said they wanted to live with. Us

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Speaker 2: we got a house that would fit all of. Us

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Speaker 2: we can't afford the payment. Ourselves but had my brother

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Speaker 2: taken the OPPORTUNITIES i gave him to tell me he

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Speaker 2: didn't actually want to move, in we would have gotten

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Speaker 2: a different. House july home, closes we move. In we

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Speaker 2: get sick the week we're supposed to, move so tensions are.

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Speaker 2: Hot i'm getting impatient Because brandon still doesn't seem to

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Speaker 2: be applying for any. Jobs sean AND i have gotten

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Speaker 2: into countless fights at this point Over brandon needing a,

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Speaker 2: job And sean's saying he's, trying but it's hard for.

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Speaker 2: Him my brother comes down to help us move and

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Speaker 2: apologizes for backing. Out he says he does want to move,

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Speaker 2: in just not right. NOW i had had a little

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Speaker 2: couple drinking poos during this conversation because my dad AND

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Speaker 2: i were. Selling i'm excited BECAUSE i do really want

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Speaker 2: to live with my. BROTHER i ask him what day

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Speaker 2: and tell HIM i need a. Timeline this is the

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Speaker 2: LAST i speak of It. August we are now in

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Speaker 2: the month Of. AUGUST i have Asked sean numerous times

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Speaker 2: if he still intends to Hold brandon accountable On august twenty.

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Speaker 2: First he assures me every time that he, will and

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Speaker 2: that If brandon doesn't have a, job he will be moving.

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Speaker 2: Out i'm getting nervous because it's the fifteenth And i've

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Speaker 2: heard zero new updates on a. Job but Also i'm

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Speaker 2: in the mindset, OF, ah don't, know don't care Until

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Speaker 2: august twenty. First thanks to my therapist who pointed out

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Speaker 2: how exhausting this is to me this Past, SATURDAY i

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Speaker 2: Ask sean Because i'm genuinely concerned and want to know

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Speaker 2: what's going to. Happen sean admits that he still has

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Speaker 2: not talked To brandon about needing a.

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Speaker 4: Job on the twenty, first, However brandon.

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Speaker 2: Has been waking up still at noon and door dashing

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Speaker 2: occasionally for two to four hours a day and has

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Speaker 2: the money to pay us his portion of the. MORTGAGE

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Speaker 2: i stay calm because we're on the way to a

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Speaker 2: birthday party And i'm just trying to have a good. Time,

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Speaker 2: Also i'm broke right, now so four hundred dollars off

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Speaker 2: mortgage payment sounds real.

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Speaker 4: Nice right.

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Speaker 2: Now, Sunday i've had time to digest the, conversation and

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Speaker 2: NOW i have. Questions what Was sean's plan come the twenty.

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Speaker 2: First what was he planning to tell?

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Speaker 4: Me are You i'm?

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Speaker 2: Sorry are you have you had zero communication yourself with

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Speaker 2: this guy who's living in your?

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Speaker 3: House like that's what it sounds. Like it's blowing my.

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Speaker 2: Mind Would sean just like look at you and not?

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Speaker 2: Respond like would he just curl up into a ball

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Speaker 2: and refuse to? Interact what's going? On he's been promising

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Speaker 2: That brandon will no longer live with us if he

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Speaker 2: does not have a job by the twenty. First i'm

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Speaker 2: in the shower arguing in my head With, Sean, brandon

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Speaker 2: and their.

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Speaker 4: Mom sean comes in and asks me what's.

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Speaker 2: WRONG i gather my thoughts and tell Him brandon has

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Speaker 2: Until october first to get a job or move. Out

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Speaker 2: brandon is to apply to ten jobs a day or

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Speaker 2: he will not be up late. Gaming we're going to

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Speaker 2: dinner with his mom On, tuesday And i'm laying all

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Speaker 2: of this out. Today sean texts his mom EVERYTHING i,

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Speaker 2: said Everything i've been, feeling and Everything i'm frustrated with

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Speaker 2: and says it like this is all my. Idea he

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Speaker 2: sends me a screenshot not of the tech he, sent

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Speaker 2: but of her. Response she basically Says brandon has bad

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Speaker 2: anxiety and that setting a date Of october first will stress.

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Speaker 4: Him out and push him to the.

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Speaker 2: Limit that he's been more motivated recently and has been

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Speaker 2: door dashing and getting up earlier still, noon and he

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Speaker 2: is making money for himself and to pay his portion

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Speaker 2: of the.

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Speaker 4: Mortgage mind, you his mom.

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Speaker 2: Decided herself that he would pay four, hundred not me

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Speaker 2: And sean Her sean agreed that four hundred is. Enough

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Speaker 2: WHEN i brought up to him THAT i don't think

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Speaker 2: four hundred is. Enough our mortgage is seventeen hundred and fifty.

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Speaker 2: Dollars four hundred is not enough to cover his portion

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Speaker 2: of the mortgage plus utility bills because he's home all

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Speaker 2: day gaming and leaves the lights on and leaves his

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Speaker 2: computer running when he's not using.

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Speaker 4: It blah blah.

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Speaker 2: Blah shawn AND i got into an argument today And

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Speaker 2: shawn Says i'm moving the goalpost because of what my

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Speaker 2: standards are for a. Job they've been the same this whole,

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Speaker 2: time and THAT i can overlook what my brother, did

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Speaker 2: BUT i can't Overlook. Brandon every argument we've had About,

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Speaker 2: Brandon sean brings my brother into. IT i feel the

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Speaker 2: only similarity between their situations is their struggle with mental,

218
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,240
Speaker 2: health and that's. IT i Ask sean WHAT i need

219
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,560
Speaker 2: to do so he quits complaining about the situation with my.

220
00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:06,080
Speaker 2: Brother he gets upset AND i, said he's complaining about

221
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,760
Speaker 2: my brother and then, says my brother needs to apologize

222
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,880
Speaker 2: to him for dropping out of moving in at the last.

223
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,000
Speaker 2: Second but he doesn't want my brother to apologize BECAUSE

224
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:16,280
Speaker 2: i told him. To he wants my brother to just

225
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,320
Speaker 2: know he should apologize to. HIM i, said, fine my

226
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:22,400
Speaker 2: brother won't move in until he. Apologizes brandon has Until

227
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,880
Speaker 2: october first to get a job or move, out and

228
00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:26,520
Speaker 2: if he, Doesn't i'm moving.

229
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:28,280
Speaker 4: OUT i will still pay my portion of the.

230
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:31,680
Speaker 2: Mortgage sean hasn't responded to my text because he called

231
00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:34,000
Speaker 2: his mom and told his mom about the whole. Conversation

232
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,439
Speaker 2: sean forgot the ring camera was still, inside SO i

233
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,080
Speaker 2: kept getting ring camera notifications that someone was at the.

234
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,680
Speaker 2: Door and this is Where i'm definitely an a. HOLE

235
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,600
Speaker 2: i listened to their conversation for an hour over the ring.

236
00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:46,400
Speaker 4: CAMERA a week.

237
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,040
Speaker 2: Ago sean told me that if it came down to

238
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,360
Speaker 2: me Or, brandon he would choose me. Today he told

239
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:53,080
Speaker 2: his mom that IF i don't like, IT i can.

240
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,079
Speaker 2: Leave he didn't KNOW i was, listening, though SO i

241
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,760
Speaker 2: feel this was set in. ANGER i don't know any

242
00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:00,640
Speaker 2: advice is. Welcome as loud AS i CAN possi simply say.

243
00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:01,719
Speaker 4: It. LEAVE i know.

244
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,000
Speaker 2: This is The, internet but it would be great if

245
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:07,120
Speaker 2: you could be gentle with the. Advice this whole situation

246
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:08,840
Speaker 2: has been a nightmare for. ME i don't even know

247
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,680
Speaker 2: Who i'm dating. Anymore, yeah and that's the end of that. Story,

248
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,920
Speaker 2: YEAH i don't think you should be dating. Them, yeah

249
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:14,520
Speaker 2: you should leave.

250
00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:16,720
Speaker 3: THEM i went on a date with my.

251
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:17,920
Speaker 5: Friend Now i'm.

252
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:18,839
Speaker 3: Devastated.

253
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:23,280
Speaker 6: Ouch i've known this guy through mutual friends for around fifteen.

254
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:25,840
Speaker 6: Years we're both in our mid thirties. Now we've never

255
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:27,840
Speaker 6: talked much one on, one but he's always been in

256
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,760
Speaker 6: my periphery And i've had a rather large crush on.

257
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,920
Speaker 6: HIM i was never sure if the feeling was, mutual

258
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:37,199
Speaker 6: despite some long lingering stairs and eye contacts across an occasional. Party,

259
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,080
Speaker 6: Truthfully i've always thought that he was too cool for.

260
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,240
Speaker 6: Me by the, way this comes From zoe Ash and

261
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,800
Speaker 6: if you want to submit your own, stories go to

262
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:47,600
Speaker 6: the r Slash okay storytime At Separated it And I'm, Angie.

263
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,520
Speaker 4: I'm, dakota And I'm, keon And op.

264
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,320
Speaker 6: Says after THE, VID i stopped spending much time with

265
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,480
Speaker 6: that friend, Group so it had been almost five years

266
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,120
Speaker 6: SINCE i had seen. Him imagine my shock and excitement

267
00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:00,240
Speaker 6: WHEN i saw that he slid into MY dms yuh.

268
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,080
Speaker 6: Oh we made the usual small talk of our messages

269
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,880
Speaker 6: for he eventually asked me on a proper date a week.

270
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,920
Speaker 3: Later our date was this Last, friday and it was.

271
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:12,200
Speaker 6: Amazing just seeing him again was. Perfect he looks the,

272
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,840
Speaker 6: same just as handsome as. Ever we laughed almost NonStop

273
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:18,000
Speaker 6: as we got caught up over the past decade of our.

274
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,800
Speaker 6: Lives he confessed over dinner that night to always having

275
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:23,480
Speaker 6: a crush on me, too and remembering the years of

276
00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:26,360
Speaker 6: the lingering eye. Contact he told me about how he

277
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,280
Speaker 6: told a new group of friends about me when they

278
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,080
Speaker 6: asked for his weekend, plans and how excited he was

279
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,280
Speaker 6: for a. Date after, dinner he invited me back to

280
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:35,000
Speaker 6: his place for a. MOVIE i let him know THAT

281
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:37,160
Speaker 6: i wouldn't be sleeping with, him SINCE i don't sleep with.

282
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,240
Speaker 6: Anyone on the first, date BUT i wanted more time with,

283
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,440
Speaker 6: him and he assured me that that's all he wanted

284
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:44,360
Speaker 6: To at his, place he borrowed me sweats and we.

285
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,720
Speaker 6: Cuddled he didn't make a move until after the, movie

286
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:54,080
Speaker 6: where all we did was makeup ew. Ew once it was,

287
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,600
Speaker 6: late we wound up in his, bed where we continued

288
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,120
Speaker 6: to make out but also. Talked here's Where i'm SURE

289
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,040
Speaker 6: i fed up. EVERYTHING i tend to be a. Yapper

290
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,480
Speaker 6: we joked a little bit about how much he hunts

291
00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:06,400
Speaker 6: AND i was vegan for a. WHILE i, SAID i

292
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,120
Speaker 6: understand the hunting because it can be a peaceful, activity

293
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,839
Speaker 6: the sitting and, waiting And i've even been on hunting trips.

294
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,640
Speaker 6: BEFORE i just said THAT i didn't understand the pride and,

295
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:17,240
Speaker 6: killing and he assured me that that's not what it

296
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:17,679
Speaker 6: was about for.

297
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,600
Speaker 3: Him the whole tone seemed light and.

298
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,680
Speaker 6: Silly we talked about all of our favorite, things favorite, colors,

299
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:27,920
Speaker 6: numbers favorite, constellations favorite. FOODS i like some pretty bizarre

300
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,440
Speaker 6: out there food, combinations so we poked fun at me for.

301
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,800
Speaker 6: That we both kept saying how crazy it was that

302
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,480
Speaker 6: we connected so well after knowing each other for fifteen

303
00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:38,320
Speaker 6: years and never doing anything about it. Before he kept

304
00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,880
Speaker 6: saying how much he wanted to see me, again nudging

305
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,360
Speaker 6: me to check my work schedule and see WHEN i was,

306
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,000
Speaker 6: free making comments about how close he lived my work

307
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,560
Speaker 6: and HOW i could come over some. Night he'd buy

308
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:51,440
Speaker 6: my favorite bottle of wine and grill me up steak

309
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:54,520
Speaker 6: or veggie bird, burgers WHATEVER i. Wanted at one point he,

310
00:12:54,559 --> 00:12:56,680
Speaker 6: Said i'd like to see where this can. Go i'm

311
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,240
Speaker 6: looking for something long term and not just. Tonight we

312
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:01,640
Speaker 6: talked a little bit of our last relationships and why they.

313
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,360
Speaker 6: Ended the whole thing was feeling very, serious and, again

314
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:07,559
Speaker 6: me being, ME i had to. YAP i told HIM

315
00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:09,840
Speaker 6: i had a, confession one that sucked to, make but

316
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,040
Speaker 6: that if we were to build, SOMETHING i had to be.

317
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,360
Speaker 6: HONEST i told him, that like eight or nine years,

318
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,360
Speaker 6: AGO i slept a mutual friend of ours who asked

319
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,720
Speaker 6: me to keep it a. Secret immediately, after he said

320
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:20,319
Speaker 6: that that was.

321
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,640
Speaker 3: No big deal at, all and we're all adults with.

322
00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:25,640
Speaker 6: Pasts he also said why any guy wouldn't be proud

323
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,240
Speaker 6: to sleep with you is beyond. Me you've always been

324
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,720
Speaker 6: one of the most generous Women i've ever, known which

325
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,000
Speaker 6: is a big reason THAT i never made a move.

326
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,440
Speaker 6: BEFORE i told Him i'd always thought he was too

327
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,240
Speaker 6: cool for. Me by the time we settled down to

328
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,080
Speaker 6: go to, sleep the sun was starting to come. UP a,

329
00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,079
Speaker 6: wow and my stomach hurt from. Laughing that's, cute he.

330
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,320
Speaker 6: Gause it's just up all night. Talking he made a

331
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,960
Speaker 6: comment that his cheeks were sore because he couldn't stop.

332
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,680
Speaker 6: Smiling he held me in his arms the entire. Night

333
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,600
Speaker 6: the next, morning when we woke, up he pulled me

334
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,800
Speaker 6: tighter for some more, kisses and WHEN i looked at,

335
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:54,400
Speaker 6: him he.

336
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,040
Speaker 3: Just had the biggest grin THAT i had ever.

337
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,480
Speaker 6: SEEN i just love looking at. YOU i could look

338
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:01,319
Speaker 6: at you, forever he told. Me we started kissing, more

339
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,480
Speaker 6: BUT i stopped us things were getting hot and, heavy

340
00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,959
Speaker 6: still not ready to sleep with, him. Obviously at one

341
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,320
Speaker 6: POINT i looked off into the distance out the, window

342
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,760
Speaker 6: and he said THAT i looked, thoughtful then asked IF

343
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,040
Speaker 6: i was okay and thinking good, thoughts to WHICH i

344
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,480
Speaker 6: assured HIM i was a little, LATER i told HIM

345
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,199
Speaker 6: i had to, go and he offered to drive me

346
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,480
Speaker 6: across town where my car was still parked at the.

347
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,000
Speaker 6: Restaurant he held my hand the whole, way, back telling

348
00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,880
Speaker 6: me that he was free all, week except he had

349
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,040
Speaker 6: family in town that he'd have to make a little time.

350
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,240
Speaker 3: For this was not new. Information he had mentioned it

351
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:28,520
Speaker 3: the night.

352
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,760
Speaker 6: Before he, said as soon AS i gave him my,

353
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,040
Speaker 6: schedule we could figure out time to see each, other

354
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:36,960
Speaker 6: confirming wine. Choices at one POINT i complained about, traffic

355
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,240
Speaker 6: and he held my hand, tighter saying that he was

356
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,120
Speaker 6: just happy to have more time with. Me when we

357
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:43,600
Speaker 6: got to my, car he gave me several. Kisses even

358
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,480
Speaker 6: WHEN i pulled, away he grabbed me and kissed me.

359
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:48,080
Speaker 6: MORE i told him That i'd confirmed my work schedule

360
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,160
Speaker 6: WHEN i got home and texted to him right. AWAY

361
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,000
Speaker 6: i had no doubt in my mind that i'd see

362
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,280
Speaker 6: him again and. SOON i did WHAT i, said AND

363
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,200
Speaker 6: i texted him my schedule WHEN i got, home BUT

364
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,000
Speaker 6: i didn't hear. BACK i texted him later in the

365
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,560
Speaker 6: evening and HIS i was, polite but not.

366
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:06,400
Speaker 3: Flirty what's going on? Here this sounds pretty suspicious.

367
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,680
Speaker 4: Hot and you'll co, yeah oh.

368
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,480
Speaker 6: Yes note it was such an amazing start to the.

369
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,720
Speaker 6: Story but of Course reddit is here for, problems SO

370
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:19,120
Speaker 6: i always it's gonna it's starting to go, DOWNHILL i.

371
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:22,560
Speaker 6: Fear here's WHERE i made another possible. MISTAKE i asked

372
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,600
Speaker 6: my sister for advice on what to text. HIM i

373
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,800
Speaker 6: was excited and wanted to ask him out. Again she

374
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,800
Speaker 6: didn't think THAT i should send him a text that

375
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,560
Speaker 6: started with, okay, Fine i'll just say this to him

376
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,240
Speaker 6: instead new, verse AND i didn't realize THAT i left

377
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,080
Speaker 6: that note to my sister in the. Text he, replied

378
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,400
Speaker 6: but didn't call out my, mistake SO i never caught

379
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,360
Speaker 6: it and never got to. Explain we sent a few

380
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,520
Speaker 6: more texts back and, forth and he never confirmed the

381
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,200
Speaker 6: EVENINGS i told HIM i was. Free then the next

382
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,200
Speaker 6: day he had a family emergency regarding the family here

383
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,960
Speaker 6: to visit and has been checked out ever. Since he

384
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,200
Speaker 6: did go into vague, detail AND i told him to

385
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,800
Speaker 6: let me know if he needed. ANYTHING i reaffirmed THAT

386
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,600
Speaker 6: i would still like to see him, again but decided

387
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,320
Speaker 6: to take his time with the family stuff in the.

388
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,040
Speaker 6: Meantime the last TEXT i got from him Was, Monday, hey,

389
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:06,240
Speaker 6: gorgeous more details about the family, emergency and ending With

390
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,520
Speaker 6: i'd love to see you, again But i'm not sure

391
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:10,680
Speaker 6: when that will be As i'm a bit anxious right.

392
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,920
Speaker 6: Now the last thing either of us said was my

393
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:16,000
Speaker 6: response to, THAT i understand wishing your family, well Now

394
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:19,200
Speaker 6: i'm feeling. CONFUSED i can't imagine anyone lying about the

395
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,880
Speaker 6: type of family emergency he. Explained but also it's nothing

396
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,640
Speaker 6: that should keep him this. Preoccupied SO i can't help

397
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:29,480
Speaker 6: but think that, maybe just maybe he exaggerated things to

398
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,000
Speaker 6: get out of seeing me, again unless it's a rare

399
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,280
Speaker 6: worst case. Scenario i'm obviously blaming myself now for the

400
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,200
Speaker 6: date being a little too, honest a little too, quirky

401
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,560
Speaker 6: and pokeing a little too much fun involving the hunting.

402
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,120
Speaker 6: Thing looking back and searching for signs on WHAT i did,

403
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,400
Speaker 6: wrong that's WHEN i found the glaring text. Mistake OH

404
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,080
Speaker 6: i never get this wrapped up in a first. DATE

405
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,000
Speaker 6: i think part of it is THAT i had always

406
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,000
Speaker 6: secretly hoped THAT i would get the chance to go

407
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,960
Speaker 6: on a date with, him AND i feel like now the,

408
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,680
Speaker 6: experience in the build up of fifteen years came and

409
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,200
Speaker 6: went so fast that part of me almost wishes that

410
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:01,840
Speaker 6: it never. Happened to the date itself lived up to

411
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,479
Speaker 6: all of the EXPECTATIONS i had and then. Some AND

412
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,480
Speaker 6: i also believed that the feelings were, mutual but now

413
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,480
Speaker 6: it feels Like i'm in the center of a very strategic.

414
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,120
Speaker 3: Slow fade and it's.

415
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,720
Speaker 6: DEVASTATING i feel Like i'm mourning an, idea a what

416
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:15,920
Speaker 6: if THAT i held on to for a long. Time

417
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:18,800
Speaker 6: so any advice, Please and there are some, comments but

418
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,120
Speaker 6: what would your advice?

419
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,200
Speaker 2: Be i'd be more like direct about in front of, him, like, hey,

420
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,760
Speaker 2: Mister i'm glad there's traffic so i get to spend

421
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:26,320
Speaker 2: more time with.

422
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,119
Speaker 4: You did you mean anything that you? Said?

423
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,840
Speaker 2: Yeah did you mean any of? That or did you

424
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,920
Speaker 2: just lie to me? Yeah or were you just love bombing?

425
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,679
Speaker 6: Me, yeah it's very it's, possible but we have a

426
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,600
Speaker 6: consensus from the. Commenters they Tell op to wait for

427
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,879
Speaker 6: him to reach, out and they also advise her to

428
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,200
Speaker 6: think if the roles were, reversed.

429
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,560
Speaker 3: What would she do in his? Situation and we do

430
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:48,280
Speaker 3: have an.

431
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,720
Speaker 6: UPDATE i was feeling pretty good all day yesterday about

432
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,119
Speaker 6: my resolve to not text. HIM i went to, work

433
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,240
Speaker 6: to the, gym and WHILE i was, SAD i didn't

434
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,919
Speaker 6: let myself. Mope in the, EVENING i got a, text

435
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,440
Speaker 6: not from, him but from my ex WHOM i dated

436
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:02,119
Speaker 6: ten years.

437
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,840
Speaker 3: Ago were still close and talk.

438
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,680
Speaker 6: Often, okay he's one of the most, jaded realist PEOPLE

439
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,879
Speaker 6: i know and never sugarcoats anything for. Me IF i

440
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,320
Speaker 6: can count on one person to truly tell me how it,

441
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,680
Speaker 6: is even if it, hurts it's. HIM i explained a

442
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,600
Speaker 6: bit of my situation to, him told him about the,

443
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,200
Speaker 6: date the immediate, aftermath and the family, emergency without going

444
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,840
Speaker 6: into many. Details, AGAIN i want to respect his family's

445
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,320
Speaker 6: privacy BECAUSE i never doubted the validity of the, story

446
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,560
Speaker 6: just the severity with. Timing his advice texts the. Man,

447
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,720
Speaker 6: actually his exact words, were modern dating is. Crap but

448
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,440
Speaker 6: you don't have to Be you believe the family, Emergency

449
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,359
Speaker 6: so who cares if he's just not that into you

450
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,879
Speaker 6: show up and support him because that's what good people,

451
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:39,440
Speaker 6: do and.

452
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:40,600
Speaker 3: You're a good. Person SO i.

453
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,719
Speaker 6: DID i texted him asking for an, update then offered

454
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,440
Speaker 6: to bring him adult soda from a local brewery and

455
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,040
Speaker 6: pizza from the place that he told me he loves

456
00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:51,320
Speaker 6: on my free night next week take his mind off.

457
00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:54,280
Speaker 6: THING i showed up with genuine, care intention and a,

458
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:57,480
Speaker 6: plan and it. Worked he texted back immediately a, long

459
00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,439
Speaker 6: full update on the, situation an apology for leaving me

460
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,800
Speaker 6: hanging and suggestions for pizza. Toppings we texted late into the,

461
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,440
Speaker 6: night until it was me that finally suggested that we

462
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:09,359
Speaker 6: both go to. Bed his texts were no longer just,

463
00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:12,880
Speaker 6: polite but had a flirty edge again and. Excitement, OBVIOUSLY

464
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,879
Speaker 6: i can't predict where things will go from, here but

465
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,600
Speaker 6: let this serve as a reminder that sometimes you should

466
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,040
Speaker 6: send that. Text leaving the ball in their court isn't

467
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,639
Speaker 6: always the best. Option we've got a comment From. Opee

468
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,720
Speaker 6: the family emergency has unfortunately not, passed and now THAT

469
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,960
Speaker 6: i have the full, details it's no mystery to me

470
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,479
Speaker 6: why he And mia for a few. Days they are

471
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,880
Speaker 6: still very much in the thick bit and we've only

472
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,520
Speaker 6: technically been on one. Date i'm sure it feels heavy

473
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,440
Speaker 6: to include someone new in what's going, On but the good, news,

474
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:42,040
Speaker 6: however is that it will pass and hopefully, soon probably

475
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,160
Speaker 6: just in time for our. DATE i have no doubt

476
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,679
Speaker 6: in his interests for me, anymore but do plan to

477
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,320
Speaker 6: still protect my. HEART i doubt he's really focused on

478
00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:51,880
Speaker 6: anything other than his family, stuff so the most important

479
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 6: THING i can do right now is to just show

480
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:57,040
Speaker 6: up and support. Him just be, yourself just be yourself

481
00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:59,960
Speaker 6: if he you, know isn't interested in. YOU i feel

482
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,320
Speaker 6: like this overthinking definitely could be a wake up call

483
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 6: of how much value you're putting in this. Situation and

484
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,800
Speaker 6: it can still be very, valuable but it is a

485
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 6: good time to reflect, on, Like, HEY i need to

486
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:16,000
Speaker 6: not like put my self worth into this situation and

487
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:16,880
Speaker 6: into his text.

488
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,720
Speaker 2: Messages, Yeah i'm no longer interested in marriage because my

489
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:21,920
Speaker 2: boyfriend took too.

490
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,359
Speaker 4: Long you, snooze you lose.

491
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,160
Speaker 2: BUDDY i thirty three, female have been in a ten

492
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:30,119
Speaker 2: year relationship with my Boyfriend, carl thirty three. Male after

493
00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:32,000
Speaker 2: the first year of our, RELATIONSHIP i made it very

494
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 2: clear THAT i intended to be a wife. Someday by

495
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,320
Speaker 2: the TIME i was twenty, EIGHT i started to remind

496
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:39,199
Speaker 2: him of my goals and, expectations And carl told me

497
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,119
Speaker 2: that while he knew he wanted to marry, me he

498
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,600
Speaker 2: just wasn't ready yet and didn't like HOW i was

499
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:47,000
Speaker 2: pressuring him and called me. Controlling, eventually we broke, up

500
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:50,000
Speaker 2: but six months later we got back together and even moved.

501
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 2: It by the, way this comes from user device known

502
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,680
Speaker 2: forty five hundred and if you want to submit your own,

503
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,919
Speaker 2: stories go to the r Slash okay storytime separate.

504
00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:00,480
Speaker 4: It I'm, Dakota I'm, angie And I'm. Keon looking back.

505
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:03,399
Speaker 2: On it, NOW i realized that that wasn't the best,

506
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,160
Speaker 2: decision BUT i was so emotionally attached to this man

507
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 2: and felt so invested THAT i was willing to go

508
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,440
Speaker 2: back to. Him carl AND i have now been living

509
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 2: together for four, years and WHILE i stopped being happy

510
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,920
Speaker 2: about it after the first six, months living with him

511
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,760
Speaker 2: isn't a bad. Experience, PLUS i always thought that us

512
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,360
Speaker 2: getting married was just around the, corner because he said

513
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,280
Speaker 2: he was ready to commit to, me but he wanted

514
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,720
Speaker 2: to wait for the right time BECAUSE i deserved a

515
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,920
Speaker 2: perfect proposal and a more stable. Husband i've been going

516
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,479
Speaker 2: to therapy for the past two years and recently had an.

517
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:36,119
Speaker 2: Epiphany since, CHILDHOOD i have always wanted a, wedding but

518
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,160
Speaker 2: never really gave much thought to being a married woman

519
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,640
Speaker 2: twenty four to seven and what that would. Mean given

520
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:45,040
Speaker 2: my country shift in politics and new laws that politicians

521
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,880
Speaker 2: are trying to, PASS i realized that not only AM

522
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 2: i fine with never getting, married But i'm starting to

523
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,479
Speaker 2: lean more into no longer possessing the desire to do.

524
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 2: It since, then it feels Like i've been set free

525
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 2: in a way and started focusing on. Myself one of

526
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 2: the major things That i've done is Tell carl That

527
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 2: i'll no longer assist with babysitting his nephews and niece

528
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 2: and instead focus more of my time into getting certified

529
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:12,680
Speaker 2: in something to increase my earning potential and just. Relaxing

530
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 2: carl seemed nonchalant about it at, first but then said

531
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 2: that we needed to have a sit.

532
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 4: Down WHEN i Sent carl's mom and his brother a.

533
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,880
Speaker 2: Text that they had three weeks BEFORE i stopped helping out,

534
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 2: Completely carl said that while he understands my desire for

535
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,679
Speaker 2: more personal, time it's important to be there and sacrifice for.

536
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,879
Speaker 2: FAMILY i told him that he could switch around his

537
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,120
Speaker 2: own work schedule and help with the kids since they're

538
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,120
Speaker 2: technically his, family and he said that the children loved

539
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,120
Speaker 2: me and that one day they'd be my family, too

540
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 2: once we were man and. Wife it was in that

541
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,640
Speaker 2: moment THAT i told HIM i no longer desired, marriage

542
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 2: and WHILE i gave my, Reasons carl still took it

543
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,879
Speaker 2: as me wanting to break up with him and or

544
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,399
Speaker 2: thinking that he would make a terrible.

545
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 4: Husband that is not the case at.

546
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 2: All but he's starting to lash out and get, suspicious

547
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:54,960
Speaker 2: AND i just don't know what to. Do how CAN

548
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,679
Speaker 2: i get my boyfriend to see that it's, me not.

549
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,159
Speaker 2: HIM i don't believe he wants to get, married or

550
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:01,680
Speaker 2: if he, does it's LIKE i don't, know he's waiting

551
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,760
Speaker 2: until maybe his earning goes up or his financial stability goes.

552
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:05,200
Speaker 4: UP i don't.

553
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 2: Know, YEAH i would need to be like, Up so

554
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:08,920
Speaker 2: why didn't you marry me five years, ago eight years,

555
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 2: ago seven years, ago two years, ago one year?

556
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 4: Ago why haven't you married? Me why didn't we get?

557
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 4: Married what are you hoping?

558
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 6: To because if you said that he wanted to be

559
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 6: like in a better state to be able to do,

560
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 6: That like what is he waiting?

561
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 3: For what does he what are his?

562
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 2: Goals, yeah and then you can just be, like, Look

563
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:25,560
Speaker 2: i've just been going to therapy AND i REALIZED i

564
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:26,240
Speaker 2: don't need to get.

565
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,160
Speaker 4: MARRIED i don't even really want to get married.

566
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,120
Speaker 2: Anymore, yeah it has nothing to do with you probably

567
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 2: took ten years to marry.

568
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:33,880
Speaker 4: ME i would have realized the same.

569
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 2: Thing, Okay so things were a little tense over the

570
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,239
Speaker 2: next few days because we were either fighting or just

571
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 2: not talking to each. Other he even moved into the

572
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,359
Speaker 2: spare bedroom one, day and he stopped giving me money

573
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 2: for his share of the streaming services that we both

574
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 2: use AND i technically pay. FOR i even got to

575
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 2: meet his mom and brother for a little. Bit, then

576
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:54,600
Speaker 2: Once Valentine's day was right around the, corner he did

577
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:56,639
Speaker 2: a complete one to eighty and started speaking to me

578
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 2: again and even apologized for his initial.

579
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 4: Reaction heemed really respective to hearing my.

580
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,760
Speaker 2: Reasons he then told me he planned a special day

581
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,320
Speaker 2: for us the weekend After Valentine's, day WHICH i was

582
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 2: delighted to. Hear on the day, OF i woke up

583
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,679
Speaker 2: to him, gone but with breakfast laid out for me

584
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,120
Speaker 2: and a text message saying that there was a work

585
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 2: emergency and that he had to go in for a

586
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:19,160
Speaker 2: couple hours and told me to go meet him at

587
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:20,720
Speaker 2: the movie theater downtown by three.

588
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,439
Speaker 4: PM i thought. COOL i chilled for a, bit then

589
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,400
Speaker 4: got ready and headed. Out by two fifty five.

590
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 2: PM i sent him a text message asking where he

591
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,600
Speaker 2: was and responded by saying he accidentally typed the wrong

592
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 2: time and that the movie wouldn't start until five, pm

593
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 2: and he meant was that he wouldn't be able to

594
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 2: leave work until three. Pm he's had a case of

595
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 2: fat fingers and butt dials, before SO i initially didn't

596
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 2: think much and just decided to go walking around by

597
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,120
Speaker 2: the outlet mall close by to kill some. Time THEN

598
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:50,120
Speaker 2: i got another text saying that he'd changed our online

599
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 2: ticket reservations because he was still stuck at the office

600
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:55,880
Speaker 2: and to just chill until seven. Pm this TIME i grew,

601
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,720
Speaker 2: suspicious but instead of calling or texting back with, QUESTIONS

602
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,879
Speaker 2: i just gave him a thumbs up and send a

603
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 2: selfie of me at one of my favorite.

604
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 4: Stores then started to drive back.

605
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 2: Home, normally getting back to our apartment from the downtown

606
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 2: area WHERE i was at around this time of day

607
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 2: on a weekend can be a bit of a, challenge

608
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,679
Speaker 2: but today traffic was. Decent then WHEN i pull up

609
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,200
Speaker 2: to the, COMPLEX i see a moving.

610
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,639
Speaker 4: Truck no big. Deal January february.

611
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,239
Speaker 2: Is when a lot of people have moved out were in,

612
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:20,879
Speaker 2: before SO i, understood why DID i see some Of

613
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 2: carl's friends near the? Truck why DID i see some

614
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 2: Of carl's friends moving the couch THAT i paid for

615
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 2: into the.

616
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 3: Truck what is, Happening what is.

617
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:34,399
Speaker 4: Happening he's stealing her? Stuff, ooh he's. Stealing, ooh he's.

618
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,159
Speaker 3: Stealing this feels like it's coming out of.

619
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,399
Speaker 4: Nowhere, yeah feels. Psychotic.

620
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 2: YEAH i called the police and told them THAT i

621
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 2: was actively being ROB i stayed in the car for a,

622
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,399
Speaker 2: while trying to calm myself, down UNTIL i Saw carl

623
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 2: helping a man load my bookshelf into the back of

624
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 2: his pickup.

625
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:50,639
Speaker 5: Truck oh my.

626
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:52,120
Speaker 4: GOD i got out and confronted.

627
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 2: Him this man was trying to keep me out of

628
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 2: the apartment all day so he could quietly move out

629
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 2: and take my. Furniture AND i say my furniture BECAUSE

630
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:00,679
Speaker 2: i was the one who picked it all out and

631
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 2: paid for most of, everything AND i readily shared the email,

632
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 2: confirmation order, numbers and receipts.

633
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:05,880
Speaker 4: THAT i had.

634
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 2: Archived when the police showed, up the man tried to

635
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,919
Speaker 2: take my bookshelf because Apparently carl had sold it to,

636
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,440
Speaker 2: him but that wasn't my, problem and That i'd press

637
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 2: charges on everyone if my stuff wasn't back in my.

638
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 2: Place we got into a huge, argument and the police

639
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 2: tried to brush this off as a civil matter Since

640
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 2: carl AND i lived. Together BUT i went into the

641
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 2: station the next day and spoke to a female officer

642
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 2: who was of better. Help my dining room, set, spices

643
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 2: blender of grocer's, LAPS tv coffee, table and mattress were,

644
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:32,880
Speaker 2: gone But carl's friends did put.

645
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 4: Back the, couch which was a.

646
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 2: Pullout the middleman between my landlord and me did speak

647
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 2: To karl about wanting to take his name off the,

648
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:42,240
Speaker 2: lease but did not follow the proper protocol and confirming

649
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,439
Speaker 2: with me THAT i would take on full responsibility of.

650
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:46,639
Speaker 2: Rent SO i did file a. COMPLAINT i ended up

651
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 2: leaving the complex. GOOD i would have suggested the same

652
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,920
Speaker 2: thing and moving somewhere else and pressed charges Against carl

653
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:54,920
Speaker 2: and his friends if only to create a paper trail

654
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 2: and help in my civil case against my.

655
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 4: Ex we do have a little bit more story, left

656
00:26:58,880 --> 00:26:59,639
Speaker 4: but oh my, god.

657
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,440
Speaker 6: The comments are it's Like Sophia clone, says, nah he's

658
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,680
Speaker 6: cheating and has a kid with another, woman or thinks

659
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:06,479
Speaker 6: that she has an.

660
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,399
Speaker 3: Affair what do you think the reason is for all of?

661
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 2: This because she said she didn't want to get married,

662
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 2: anymore and he's just being a little petty pathetic worm.

663
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,719
Speaker 6: Person also like that's a stupid way to get her

664
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 6: out of the house, though, Too, like, yeah can you, actually,

665
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:24,200
Speaker 6: LIKE i, know you've been staying at this mall for two?

666
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:25,880
Speaker 3: Hours can you stay her for two more?

667
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,679
Speaker 6: Hours and even though you can drive home and drive, back, like,

668
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:29,880
Speaker 6: well of course she's gonna drive.

669
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,959
Speaker 3: Home she's already been there for two hours waiting for.

670
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 4: You what a little. Psycho, yeah her.

671
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,919
Speaker 6: Breakfast he would probably get to the point of being, like, oh,

672
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 6: yeah just like start the. Movie i'm like almost, there

673
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,680
Speaker 6: just go in and then he just Still she's just

674
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 6: watching the whole movie by.

675
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:43,160
Speaker 3: Herself.

676
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 2: Yeah this guy just needs like a big rubber stamp

677
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,919
Speaker 2: with like a hole on. It, yeah just put right

678
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 2: on his forehead that he can't.

679
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:49,479
Speaker 4: Remove.

680
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 2: Absolutely in the, END i was able to get some

681
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 2: financial compensation for WHAT i, lost and he has Until

682
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 2: november to pay it. All and wasn't even sad that

683
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,119
Speaker 2: he didn't want to be with me. ANYMORE i was

684
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 2: just pissed off and tried to go about. It it's

685
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 2: very clear that he wanted to punish, me And i'm

686
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 2: so glad THAT i never ended up marrying this, man.

687
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 4: This little puddle of sludge in the form of a.

688
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:14,119
Speaker 2: HUMAN i completed my, certification got a promotion and the

689
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,159
Speaker 2: pay raise that comes with, it and my dad has

690
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:17,879
Speaker 2: agreed to give me the money he was saving for

691
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,160
Speaker 2: my future wedding as a down payment for a. House

692
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,120
Speaker 2: after this entire, EXPERIENCE i am now ten toes down

693
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,360
Speaker 2: in never getting. Married, also as a side, note Since

694
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 2: carl's brother couldn't provide consistent childcare on his, days the

695
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 2: mother filed for custody and Now carl's brother pays child

696
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 2: support and that is the end of that.

697
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 6: Story, yeah good thing is she probably wouldn't have thought,

698
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,679
Speaker 6: that you, know he would do something like this and

699
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 6: wouldn't get a, prenup so he would end up with

700
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 6: half her stuff, anyway if they, like you, know got

701
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 6: married and then got a divorced or.

702
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 3: Something so, yeah good, thing, dude good.

703
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 5: Thing.

704
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 4: Absolutely hey, y'all It's john Og host. Here we're gonna

705
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 4: get back to the. Story so but here's a quick

706
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 4: three minute break from as for more.

707
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 5: Sponsors i'm excluded from my brother in law's wedding because

708
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 5: of my.

709
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 3: Age what AM i a child in this?

710
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 5: Story my future sister in, Law katie thirty, five female

711
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 5: doesn't like. ME i think she looks down on. Me my, Husband,

712
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 5: gabe twenty one, male AND i nineteen, female have an

713
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 5: almost nineteen month old. Daughter we do live With gabe's

714
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 5: parents for, now but have a plan to move. Out

715
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 5: they all put their daughter a, lot and we're so.

716
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 5: Grateful by the. Way this comes From Crimp, cripper and

717
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 5: if you want to submit your own, stories go to

718
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 5: the r Slash okay storytime suppared.

719
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 3: It I'm, Sophiat I'm, angie And op.

720
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 5: Says katie got engaged To gabe's, Brother louis thirty, two

721
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 5: Over thanksgiving and their wedding is In. JUNE i was

722
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 5: kind of shocked since they've been dating for less than a,

723
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 5: year but very happy for. Them gabe has two other.

724
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 5: Brothers the older middle, One manuel has a long term

725
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 5: girlfriend WHO i love and is literally the SISTER i

726
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 5: never even, had even though she's ten years older than.

727
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 5: Me and his other brother has a new girlfriend who's.

728
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 5: Quiet what seems, Cool But, katie she's such a mean.

729
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 5: Girl no LIKE i feel as If i'm back in

730
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 5: high school sometimes around. HER i know she has some

731
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 5: reasonable complaints about, me but none of them are really

732
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 5: THINGS i can. HELP i think she just Thinks i'm

733
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 5: stupid or. Clueless she Asked becca to be a, bridesmaid

734
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 5: which is obviously her, choice but the other five are

735
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:11,800
Speaker 5: her two, Sisters ellie thirty And gretchen twenty, one and three.

736
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 5: FRIENDS i Know i'd be younger than everyone, else but

737
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 5: it kind of hurt not being, asked even Though i'm

738
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 5: Glad i'm. Not of, Course gabe is going to be

739
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 5: a groomsman and our daughter is going to be a flower,

740
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 5: girl So katie's reasoning is THAT i need to be

741
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 5: watching our, daughter which is also Why i'm not invited

742
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 5: on the party, bus even Though gina. Is their reception

743
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 5: is adults, only And i've already asked my best friend

744
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 5: if she can babysit our daughter that, evening with a

745
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 5: backup babysitter in case anything happens.

746
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 3: Beautiful last week.

747
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 5: We went To katie's parents' house for my daughter to

748
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 5: try on the flower girl, dress and it was awful to.

749
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 5: Start katie's sisters were, there and she insisted That gabe

750
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 5: and her Sister gretchen take pictures together since they'll be

751
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 5: paired up at the. Wedding that doesn't bother me But

752
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 5: gretchen kept referring to me as his, girlfriend even though

753
00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 5: he corrected her a few. Times he's going to graduate

754
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 5: from college this year and is in a, sorority but

755
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 5: doesn't seem to like me much. EITHER i feel Like

756
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:05,719
Speaker 5: i'm pretty aware of when people don't like me and

757
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 5: sometimes try to make them like.

758
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 4: Me even though it's.

759
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 5: Stupid SO i brought up the reception because she was

760
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 5: talking about changing shoes AND i was, Like, oh you

761
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,240
Speaker 5: can put yours in our car if you, need Since

762
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 5: i'm sure i'll be. DRIVING i know it's. WEIRD i

763
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 5: don't know WHY i do, that But gretchen seemed really

764
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 5: confused about Why i'd be, there what WHAT i was with,

765
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 5: Her ellie and my mother in law when she brought it. Up,

766
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 5: basically she said the reception was twenty one and up only.

767
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 5: NOW i was so. Embarrassed why but like, Why Like

768
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 5: i've been looking for outfits and have even mentioned one

769
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 5: of a few minutes. Before my mother in law did

770
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 5: remind HER i was married to a, groomsman And gretchen was, like,

771
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 5: oh it's a VENUEUL i think liar and went to

772
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 5: talk To. KATIE i wanted to pass, away but the

773
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 5: party wasn't, over AND i was driving everyone back to our.

774
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,520
Speaker 5: HOUSE i Think elly noticed how UPSET i was and

775
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 5: told me she thought it would be fine and not to,

776
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 5: worry and then tried to change the. Subject how cute

777
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 5: my daughter would. Look so now you're your daughter's gonna

778
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 5: be a flower girl in this wedding and you're not

779
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 5: even allowed to come to the. Reception.

780
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 3: Yeah like, also your.

781
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 5: Like your daughter's like one in a. Half, yeah how

782
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 5: she get a flower? Girl that's? Crazy, well, WELL i mean.

783
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 6: Maybe the idea is that she would like be walked

784
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 6: down holding.

785
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 5: Hands maybe who's walking her? NOUN i wanted to leave so,

786
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 5: bad but of course my daughter was totally fine and having,

787
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 5: Fun SO i just faked it and pretended LIKE i

788
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 5: wasn't passing away inside and dropped. It we ate pizza with,

789
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 5: them and my father in law made like not a,

790
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 5: toast but was just saying how he was excited to

791
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 5: get another. Daughter And becca made a face and whispered

792
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 5: something to her, sister which was kind of. Awkward she

793
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 5: gave me a super fake smile. Too the thing, Is

794
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 5: katie isn't some cartoon villain that everyone hates or anything

795
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:49,960
Speaker 5: she's so nice and gracious to everyone. Else so she

796
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 5: even was a little too over the top about my

797
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 5: daughter looking cute in the, dress which was, nice but

798
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 5: you know when you just know someone looks down on

799
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 5: you or doesn't like, you AND i obviously want every

800
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 5: to like. Me i'm nice and funny and. SMART i

801
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 5: KNOW i made, mistakes but she treats my husband so

802
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 5: much better than. Me Now i'm nervous to talk To

803
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 5: gabe BECAUSE i know if he knew about any of,

804
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 5: this it would cause a fight not between, us but

805
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 5: with him And louise And. Katie And i'm not trying

806
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 5: to make their wedding anything about, Me like IF i

807
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 5: don't have to go to the, reception that's. Fine that's

808
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 5: the stupid dress for our daughter she picked out was

809
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 5: over three hundred. Dollars, wow so Maybe i'd save. Money

810
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 5: AND i Know gabe doesn't like. Her he even made

811
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 5: a comment wondering how long the marriage would last to his,

812
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 5: mom and she shushed him on the way, home but

813
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 5: even she. LAUGHED i did talk to my in laws

814
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 5: and husband, casually and mother in law basically Said gretchen

815
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 5: is an idiot and didn't know what she was talking

816
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 5: about they think it's insane to Think i'm not. Invited

817
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 5: mother in law said she would talk To, luis BUT

818
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 5: i asked her not. TO i don't want to cause.

819
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,000
Speaker 5: DRAMA i just want to. Know But gabe, said If

820
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 5: i'm not, invited he's not, Going so NOW i don't

821
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 5: want him to miss out on his brother's wedding and

822
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 5: just feel like a piece of crap for bringing it.

823
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 5: Up AM i being? OVERLEA i mean like he was

824
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 5: gonna fine aut that you weren't.

825
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 6: Invited, yeah, YEAH i, mean how would he feel if

826
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 6: like he's having a fun time at the?

827
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:10,359
Speaker 3: Wedding oh my, gosh so. Nice this reminds us of our.

828
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 3: WEDDING i love.

829
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,400
Speaker 6: You and then and then you're just, like, okay, yeah

830
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 6: go on without, me like, yeah have.

831
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 5: Fun, Yeah i'll be over here drinking a glass of.

832
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 6: Milk LIKE i doubt he's gonna like that. Either so,

833
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,360
Speaker 6: yeah you're definitely not, overreacting though.

834
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 3: NO i would be upset, Too but there is an.

835
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 5: Update SO i was going to Confront katie. Myself this

836
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 5: is ultimately between us And i'm an. Adult But friday,

837
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:33,720
Speaker 5: night we were just hanging out In katie's Sister gretchen

838
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,920
Speaker 5: had Texted gabe this TikTok of a bride'smaid and groomsman

839
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:39,319
Speaker 5: doing like a dance walk in and was, like, Hey,

840
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 5: elloela we should do. This it was stupid but also low,

841
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 5: key kind of romantic or. Spicy he was going to ignore,

842
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,399
Speaker 5: it BUT i was, like you're gonna have to see

843
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 5: her and she'll bring it. Up so he said it

844
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 5: would be better For becca And, manuel his brother and

845
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 5: his brother's, girlfriend who are both in the. Wedding then

846
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,439
Speaker 5: at one point later she responded and was, like, oh,

847
00:34:57,520 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 5: yeah that's. Cool i'm sure you're excited for a night

848
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,880
Speaker 5: from the girlfriend and. Baby he was pretty pissed, off

849
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 5: and it was kind of shocked she'd say, that but

850
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 5: told them he should probably ignore that one BECAUSE i

851
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 5: know girls like that and they hate being. Ignored you.

852
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:12,400
Speaker 5: Know he was going to ignore, it but kept getting

853
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,880
Speaker 5: mad about it and just responded that was a weird

854
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 5: thing to say and THAT i would be. There so

855
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 5: at that Point i'm, like, okay, yeah you And louise should.

856
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 5: Talk the brothers and their dad get lunch at the

857
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 5: same spot Every. Saturday it's not mandatory and they miss a,

858
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 5: lot but the next day they went and afterwards they

859
00:35:26,719 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 5: hung out of. It gabe basically brought it up and

860
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 5: Asked louise to switch him off From gretchen because she

861
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:34,359
Speaker 5: was creeping him. Out luis was shocked he brought up

862
00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:37,319
Speaker 5: the reception because he hadn't heard anything about. It he

863
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:39,879
Speaker 5: Said gretchen was probably just being nice and to Cut

864
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 5: katie's some slack because they were trying to plan a

865
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 5: wedding in a short amount of. Time ben AND i

866
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,360
Speaker 5: love my, husband but he thought this would be a

867
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 5: great time to be, like, well maybe you shouldn't rush

868
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 5: it so. Much Then luis was, like why WOULD i

869
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:54,400
Speaker 5: listen to? You you're still a mom and dad's, basement which, like,

870
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 5: yeah fair, point but just AN. Fyi louise totally lived

871
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 5: here on and off until he was like, thirty just

872
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 5: saying and they fought. More gabe, said they didn't fight about,

873
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,680
Speaker 5: me and, honestly between me And, reddit their family fights a,

874
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 5: lot but it's just always. Fine like they're kind of.

875
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,280
Speaker 5: Dramatic you just get used to. It they don't stay.

876
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 5: Mad BUT i guess for whatever god forsaken, reason they

877
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,400
Speaker 5: brought the fight to the other brother At manuel's house

878
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 5: and The manuel was, like, YEAH i, agree you're going too.

879
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 5: Fast Apparently manuel had been wanting to propose to his

880
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:28,800
Speaker 5: girlfriend this, year And louis told them he shouldn't until

881
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,360
Speaker 5: after the wedding because they deserve for the focus to

882
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 5: be on, them which had to have come From katie

883
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 5: because there's no universe Where luis would ever care about. That,

884
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:41,760
Speaker 5: Obviously i'm hearing all of the, secondhand because Afterwards manuel

885
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 5: came back With gabe and they were telling. ME i

886
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 5: got kind of mad Because i'm, like you cannot be

887
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 5: ganging up on your. Brother he's just a delicate, person you,

888
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:53,799
Speaker 5: know he's been through a. Lot and they didn't like

889
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 5: me saying that and brought their parents into. It LIKE i,

890
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:59,319
Speaker 5: said they're just a dramatic family sometimes AND i am.

891
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 5: Not SO i don't get it. Now i'm just stressed

892
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,279
Speaker 5: AND i have no. ANSWERS i haven't been sleeping while,

893
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 5: lately and this is stressful and not. Helping luis Or

894
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 5: katie haven't said. Anything Frick congretchen Texted gabe another TikTok

895
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 5: and he just responded that he doesn't have TikTok and

896
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 5: went to. BED i guess we'll probably just go to

897
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,880
Speaker 5: the ceremony and go home with our. DAUGHTER i was

898
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 5: kind of looking forward to a night, off but it's.

899
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 5: Fine manuel's, Girlfriend becca AND i are. Close we were

900
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,799
Speaker 5: chatting about this and we both decided this was the

901
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 5: brother's thing to figure out and we should stay out of,

902
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,000
Speaker 5: It like we're not trying to hang up on, anyone

903
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,239
Speaker 5: and in the, end it is their, wedding so we'll

904
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:35,319
Speaker 5: just do what we're. TOLD i was supposed to go

905
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 5: study with my bestie today at her sorority house and

906
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:40,400
Speaker 5: leave my daughter With, gabe BUT i just felt like

907
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,000
Speaker 5: he was going to be so hungover and could use

908
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 5: her relaxing, morning SO i just took her with. Me

909
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,880
Speaker 5: her one roommate had asked the other day IF i

910
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 5: could bring her, over partially because she's nice and loves,

911
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:52,760
Speaker 5: babies but partially because she gets credit for her child

912
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,440
Speaker 5: develop a. Class but, anyways we were taking a break

913
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,440
Speaker 5: and On instagram And, gretchen who does not follow, me

914
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,479
Speaker 5: but my profile is, public like a post from three years,

915
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 5: ago and my friend's, like she's going to single white

916
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:06,239
Speaker 5: female you And i've never seen the, movie BUT i

917
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:09,319
Speaker 5: get the. Gist so she also went back and unliked the.

918
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:12,919
Speaker 5: Post that's. EMBARRASSING i guess if you never hear back from,

919
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 5: me just ASSUME i was unlive by a rabid. Bridesmaid

920
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:16,880
Speaker 5: we're all way too old for.

921
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 4: THIS.

922
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 5: BS i Know gabe is up and working on a

923
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 5: project with his, brothers see WHAT i mean where they

924
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,759
Speaker 5: fight and fight and it's usually. Fine so Hopefully i'll

925
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 5: have more answers. Tonight he's so hungover. Today update. Two

926
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:32,279
Speaker 5: so the wedding date changed From june To, april by the,

927
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,919
Speaker 5: way and now things have gotten even. Weirder So i've

928
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 5: had THE vid the last few days. Bad so When

929
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 5: katie called me this, MORNING i stupidly thought she was

930
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 5: calling to see IF i needed. Anything gabe AND i

931
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 5: live with his parents for, now but he's been At

932
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 5: katie And luis's every day after work this, week helping

933
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,920
Speaker 5: them with a renovation project and his broader. Daughter it's

934
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:52,440
Speaker 5: a safe. Space he's just working on the electrical box

935
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 5: SINCE i can't watch her this, sick and his parents

936
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 5: already help out during the day a, lot so she

937
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 5: Knows i'm very, sick but to science to call me

938
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:03,880
Speaker 5: to invite me to the Bachelorette she's treating it like

939
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:06,759
Speaker 5: an olive. Branch but get, this she's literally asking me to.

940
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 5: Work apparently enough girls dropped out and they're now going

941
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 5: To napa instead Of, miami and instead of hiring a,

942
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,720
Speaker 5: driver she thought it was a great and magnanimous idea

943
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:17,000
Speaker 5: to offer to let me. COME i won't even need

944
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,799
Speaker 5: to pay for the. HOTEL i would share just my.

945
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 5: Flight oh AND i would need to drive them around

946
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,840
Speaker 5: the entire. Time you're not a. Chauffeur that's. CRAZY i

947
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 5: hate her and her, sister but one of her sisters

948
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 5: is cool and her friends seem. Nice but no, WAY

949
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 5: i work on weekends And i'm in. School why WOULD

950
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 5: i take that time and spend at chauffeuring her? AROUND

951
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:38,120
Speaker 5: i was a. Guess she even offered it and basically,

952
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 5: said with being sick, NOW i was missing out on

953
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,240
Speaker 5: a lot of hours and houses to clean side hustle

954
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:45,360
Speaker 5: and didn't want to be behind in. School i'm not

955
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:48,600
Speaker 5: paying for a flight To. CALIFORNIA i haven't Told. Gabe

956
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,240
Speaker 5: he's still an apprentice at, work SO i only contact

957
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,960
Speaker 5: him while he's working with, emergencies per his. REQUEST i

958
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,319
Speaker 5: want him to find this, funny BUT i know he'll

959
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 5: get mad about it and that's the end of that.

960
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:02,320
Speaker 5: Story post seems like nothing is really.

961
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 6: Resolved my boyfriend's family SAID i caused his struggles Because i'm.

962
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 5: Ill maybe they caused his struggles and.

963
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 3: Trigger, warning there's a verbal in this.

964
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,759
Speaker 6: Story SO, i thirty three, female and my, boyfriend thirty four,

965
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 6: male have been together for five years and met during

966
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 6: the pandemic in between, LOCKDOWN i had life saving surgery

967
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,520
Speaker 6: WHEN i was, nineteen And i've lived with chronic illness

968
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:25,799
Speaker 6: for over half of my. LIFETIME i met my in

969
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 6: laws after the pandemic and all.

970
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 5: Seemed well at.

971
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 6: First the city my partner AND i live in was

972
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 6: stuck in a local lockdown for nine, months whereas our

973
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 6: families were not affected by. This as a, result my

974
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,839
Speaker 6: partner fell into a deep depression and wouldn't seek. Help I'm,

975
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:43,479
Speaker 6: Angie I'm. Sophia two years into our, relationships things felt

976
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,279
Speaker 6: uncomfortable around his, family but we had only met in

977
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 6: person a handful of, times SO i put it down

978
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 6: to us not being around one another that often and

979
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 6: it just being. AWKWARD a few months, later my partner

980
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 6: told me that he'd called his sister that evening when

981
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 6: she said her her husband and their mom were blaming

982
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:03,040
Speaker 6: me for his depression and that going out and living

983
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:05,719
Speaker 6: with someone who's chronically ill was the cause of his

984
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:09,320
Speaker 6: mental health. Struggle for, context he knew about everything before

985
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 6: we even had our first, day AND i have been

986
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 6: upfront from day. One around the same time we went

987
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:17,080
Speaker 6: to visit as his dad was having a big birthday

988
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 6: party out of, VENUE i have a medication THAT i

989
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 6: need to take at, night AND i start to withdraw

990
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,560
Speaker 6: past a. Point my partner asked his sister ahead of

991
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 6: time what time they wanted to say till and who

992
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:29,399
Speaker 6: was driving this was so that we could make sure

993
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:31,360
Speaker 6: we were. Prepared she told him that they would be

994
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:33,520
Speaker 6: driving back mid to late, evening and that meant THAT

995
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:35,760
Speaker 6: i wouldn't have to carry my medication on my person

996
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:36,840
Speaker 6: and could leave it back at the.

997
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:37,480
Speaker 5: House but she.

998
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 6: Lied class always, lie classic. Liar classic long story. SHORT

999
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,440
Speaker 6: i went into withdraw and felt horrendous for the next few.

1000
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:49,440
Speaker 6: Days everyone had been very cold towards me when we.

1001
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 6: Left after a few months, later she messaged AND i

1002
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 6: politely asked WHAT i was doing to make people think

1003
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,080
Speaker 6: THAT i was making their son slash brother. Depressed she

1004
00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:00,839
Speaker 6: then blew up in my Face she said That i'm

1005
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:04,319
Speaker 6: selfish and use her brother after he'd bought me up

1006
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 6: a drink in her house BECAUSE i was lying down

1007
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,879
Speaker 6: trying to calm down my. Tremors she then, said if

1008
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,439
Speaker 6: your medication is that, important then why didn't you bring?

1009
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:15,800
Speaker 6: It and back Then i'd made the mistake of over explaining.

1010
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,840
Speaker 6: MYSELF a lot more was, said but essentially it was

1011
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:21,880
Speaker 6: implied THAT i bring nothing to the relationship and treat

1012
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,279
Speaker 6: him like a. DOORMAT a month went by AND i

1013
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 6: said let's just move forward and didn't ask for an.

1014
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 5: Apology it's really none of her business what their. RELATIONSHIP i,

1015
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 5: mean like As, LAH i don't. KNOW i feel like

1016
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:33,920
Speaker 5: they're just making problems. Up.

1017
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,720
Speaker 6: Yeah, absolutely and the fact that she just in general

1018
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 6: doesn't have any sympathy for like the. Medication it's, like,

1019
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 6: oh why did you leap? Paid why did you have

1020
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 6: to ruin it with your chronic?

1021
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:43,879
Speaker 5: Illness, like.

1022
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 6: Let's like calm down and made me care for her

1023
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 6: agreed for. Real my father in law and mother in

1024
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,919
Speaker 6: law had also gotten, involved and the mother in law

1025
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,560
Speaker 6: saying the cruelest things out of the four of. Them

1026
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,960
Speaker 6: the following month they were coming to the, city we

1027
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 6: live in to Do christmas, shopping and then as an,

1028
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 6: afterthought asked my partner if we'd like to meet them for. Dinner,

1029
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:06,840
Speaker 6: now for, Context i'm missing a huge section of my digestive,

1030
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,920
Speaker 6: system which means my diet is. Restrictive she kept suggesting

1031
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:12,000
Speaker 6: places to eat to my partner that she KNEW i

1032
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,560
Speaker 6: couldn't eat, at and in the END i suggested somewhere

1033
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 6: THAT i knew would be liked by everyone. Attending by this,

1034
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 6: POINT i didn't have anyone on social. Media i've had

1035
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:21,840
Speaker 6: all manner of things said to me about my, health

1036
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 6: BUT i do my, best and just because it may look,

1037
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,680
Speaker 6: easy it doesn't mean that it. Is a few months,

1038
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 6: later my back buckled AND i was laid up in

1039
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:32,120
Speaker 6: bed in. Agony TikTok had popped up a do you

1040
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:34,319
Speaker 6: know this? Person and it was my sister in. LAW

1041
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 6: i was trying to create awareness about neurodivergence and living

1042
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:41,239
Speaker 6: with a, stoma and after, EVERYTHING i didn't want her

1043
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:42,720
Speaker 6: to see the videos.

1044
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,440
Speaker 3: And judge me, further SO i blocked the.

1045
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,360
Speaker 6: ACCOUNT a week, later she texted my partner saying that

1046
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:49,480
Speaker 6: she'd gone to view. It we didn't know that she

1047
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:52,719
Speaker 6: was actively searching it and couldn't view. It asked her

1048
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,840
Speaker 6: husband to look for, it and it popped up for,

1049
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 6: him so she refused to speak to me, directly even

1050
00:43:58,120 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 6: WHEN i tried to.

1051
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:00,799
Speaker 3: CALL i told my partner to tell her the.

1052
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:03,040
Speaker 6: TRUTH i didn't want close family or in, laws et

1053
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:05,400
Speaker 6: cetera looking at, it and she blew.

1054
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:09,000
Speaker 3: Off claiming THAT i was lying and posting it for

1055
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:09,480
Speaker 3: the whole.

1056
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 5: WORLD i wouldn't WANT i don't have a, TikTok BUT

1057
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 5: i wouldn't want my parents or family to watch it,

1058
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 5: UNLESS i, mean unless it was like a lot of

1059
00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 5: people post kind of personal unless you're a big content, creator,

1060
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 5: RIGHT a lot of it is more, Personal so it makes. Sense,

1061
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 5: YEAH i mean.

1062
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,120
Speaker 6: Some, things it's, like you, know all depends on how

1063
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:29,240
Speaker 6: you're going about your social, media but, yeah.

1064
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:31,360
Speaker 5: It just depends on what you're posting, exactly like posting

1065
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 5: something kind of. Personal, yeah and especially if these people

1066
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 5: are already so judgmental and mean to, her it's like

1067
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:39,800
Speaker 5: that's what you need to, explain is, like, YEAH i

1068
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:42,360
Speaker 5: know you've already been pretty rude to me about.

1069
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,200
Speaker 6: Right, yeah about the things That i'm going to be talking,

1070
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:46,680
Speaker 6: Medicalist SO i knew you didn't want to hear about.

1071
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 3: It, yeah SO.

1072
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,520
Speaker 5: I took, it told you that decision away from.

1073
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:50,600
Speaker 6: You.

1074
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:52,840
Speaker 3: Exactly this was my breaking.

1075
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:55,759
Speaker 6: POINT i lowered myself and left a video there to

1076
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 6: hurt her because if she continued to snoop and when

1077
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 6: she was asked not, to she.

1078
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:00,880
Speaker 3: Would make it.

1079
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:04,040
Speaker 6: Known the video had no one, tagged no names, mentioned

1080
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:07,400
Speaker 6: just an empty. Caption the video stated that my content

1081
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 6: wasn't for, her that it was for creating awareness and

1082
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:12,719
Speaker 6: building a, community but she didn't get her own way

1083
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 6: and had hurt my partner and me in the, process

1084
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 6: to WHICH i ended it, With, so.

1085
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 3: If you still haven't learned your lesson and you're watching

1086
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 3: this right, now go with f. Yourself, so as, predicted she.

1087
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:26,600
Speaker 6: Did later that, morning we found out that she'd saved

1088
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:29,239
Speaker 6: the video and sent it around to, everyone making me

1089
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:29,840
Speaker 6: out to be a.

1090
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:33,239
Speaker 5: Monster well, like, unfortunately not that you are at. All

1091
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:36,400
Speaker 5: like she's definitely in the ale, year, right but it

1092
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 5: doesn't make you look.

1093
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:38,359
Speaker 4: Good yeah that's.

1094
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:39,239
Speaker 3: Right, yeah just like.

1095
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:42,840
Speaker 5: Exactly avoiding anything that makes you look bad on social. Media,

1096
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,480
Speaker 5: yeah people can twist it even if it's, like even

1097
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:48,040
Speaker 5: if it literally had nothing to do with, her she

1098
00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 5: could probably have twisted. It it does have something to

1099
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 5: do with, her so now she didn't have to twist it.

1100
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:54,719
Speaker 6: Right the only one who didn't fall for it was

1101
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 6: the younger, brother who, said, well you must have done

1102
00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 6: something for her to have done. That, anyway three years have,

1103
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 6: passed oh wow, wow and they had a baby In.

1104
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 6: MARCH i helped my partner choose some baby gifts and wrapped.

1105
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:07,880
Speaker 6: Them they passed on their thanks via my. PARTNER a

1106
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:10,040
Speaker 6: few weeks. Ago my partner traveled up to see, them

1107
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 6: and out of the, blue her and husband both, said

1108
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 6: we'd like to apologize to. Her my partner AND i

1109
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:19,319
Speaker 6: are completely flabbergasted by. This, However i'm very wary of

1110
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 6: the intent behind. IT i also had moved on and

1111
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:23,800
Speaker 6: had come to terms with the fact that my in

1112
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,319
Speaker 6: laws do not like, me and quite, frankly the only

1113
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 6: person who matters is my. Partner he's my priority and

1114
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:30,920
Speaker 6: the MAN i chose to spend my life. With we

1115
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 6: are a great team and work hard in our. Relationship

1116
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:36,080
Speaker 6: his family relationship is fractured after they tried to break

1117
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:38,840
Speaker 6: us up and make no attempt to repair, things not

1118
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 6: even with. Him every close Friend i've spoken to has

1119
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 6: told me to stay well. Away but would any of

1120
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:47,160
Speaker 6: you feel inclined to forgive. THEM i feel THAT i

1121
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 6: don't need to forgive her to be at peace with my.

1122
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,440
Speaker 6: LIFE i also don't hold out any hope that she's

1123
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 6: suddenly learned how to hold herself accountable for her.

1124
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 3: Pavior we do have an, Update but what do you.

1125
00:46:56,960 --> 00:47:00,319
Speaker 3: THINK i don't think you necessarily have to forgive. Them,

1126
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:01,319
Speaker 3: yeah seems like.

1127
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:04,080
Speaker 5: They're not necessarily no contact with this, family, Right?

1128
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:06,040
Speaker 3: Yeah maybe. LOW i, mean it just says that the

1129
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:06,960
Speaker 3: relationship is.

1130
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:10,440
Speaker 6: Fractured, yeah you, know if they're setting baby, gifts you,

1131
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:12,439
Speaker 6: know maybe they just kind of keep their distance a little.

1132
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 3: Bit.

1133
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:14,840
Speaker 5: YEAH i feel like you can keep your, distance but

1134
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 5: like be polite when you see, them like accept the

1135
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:20,360
Speaker 5: apology and be, like you, know we're gonna be. Polite

1136
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:21,799
Speaker 5: BUT i don't want to see them all the. Time

1137
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:24,319
Speaker 5: it doesn't don't be, friends but you can be like

1138
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 5: polite to each other.

1139
00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:27,000
Speaker 3: Exactly but we do have an.

1140
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:30,120
Speaker 6: Updates SO i asked my partner to message his sister

1141
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:31,200
Speaker 6: and asked what she.

1142
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 3: Was apologizing for and what she wanted out of.

1143
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:36,319
Speaker 6: This after a couple of, days she, responded here is

1144
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:37,960
Speaker 6: what she had to, SAY i don't think.

1145
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 3: That actually comes across that.

1146
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:43,040
Speaker 6: Direct happy to discuss over a call or FaceTime if you,

1147
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:44,759
Speaker 6: want BUT i Think i've wanted to speak with op

1148
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:47,719
Speaker 6: since pretty early on BECAUSE i KNOW i just reacted

1149
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:49,480
Speaker 6: in the heat of the moment instead of just thinking.

1150
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:53,040
Speaker 6: BEFORE i responded on more than one, occasion especially with

1151
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,840
Speaker 6: my daughter. Here, NOW i feel it's even more important

1152
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:57,480
Speaker 6: to make amends BECAUSE i want you both to be

1153
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 6: in her life and life is too. Short like we

1154
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,880
Speaker 6: said the other, week we Want ope to feel comfortable

1155
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:04,759
Speaker 6: and happy meeting us or coming to family. FUNCTIONS i

1156
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,279
Speaker 6: know she's important to, you and that means she's important to.

1157
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 6: US i made mistakes and need to own that and. Apologize,

1158
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 6: well that sounds.

1159
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 5: Nice we're getting, Somewhere, yeah because it's definitely.

1160
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:17,760
Speaker 3: Possible like even if you know the relationship was, fractured

1161
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 3: it's you, know it's not too.

1162
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:21,320
Speaker 5: Late to build that up. AGAIN i don't think anything

1163
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:25,759
Speaker 5: happened that was, like you, know relationship destroying forever.

1164
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 6: Right myself and several of you called it with the.

1165
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 6: Daughter i'm surprised that she's confessed that she made mistakes

1166
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:33,279
Speaker 6: and needs to own up to it As historically her

1167
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:34,960
Speaker 6: and the rest of the family are used to getting

1168
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:37,239
Speaker 6: away with their crappy. BEHAVIOR i still don't know WHERE

1169
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 6: i say with all of, it mainly because so many

1170
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 6: people say things but never put the physical work into,

1171
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:43,759
Speaker 6: it and not meeting them in, person it would be

1172
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:46,120
Speaker 6: at least to two hours drive there and back to meet,

1173
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:49,160
Speaker 6: halfway And i'm stuck in a cycle of pain. Flares

1174
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:52,920
Speaker 6: they're not worth spending the spoons. On, However i've told

1175
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,759
Speaker 6: my Partner i'll agree to a video call on our own.

1176
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 6: Terms so what are your thoughts on this? Message Although

1177
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 6: i'm pleasantly surprised by the, RESPONSE i would trust her

1178
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 6: as far AS i could throw, Her and we do

1179
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:05,560
Speaker 6: have some comments to. Comment number one, Says first of,

1180
00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:08,760
Speaker 6: all you're not. Overreacting they sound like they're quite. Toxic

1181
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 6: your partner needs to seek professional help for his depression

1182
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:14,000
Speaker 6: if it's still really, Bad ignoring it won't make it go.

1183
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:16,239
Speaker 6: Away other than, that if you don't feel the need

1184
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:18,640
Speaker 6: to forgive, her then don't forgive. Her she has to

1185
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:21,120
Speaker 6: earn your, forgiveness and that doesn't happen with just an.

1186
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 6: Apology they've been horribly disrespectful to. You you owe them.

1187
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:27,279
Speaker 6: Nothing they owe you more than a simple. Apology it's

1188
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,279
Speaker 6: up to you and your, partner but you're not wrong

1189
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:31,800
Speaker 6: if you choose not to forgive her go no contact

1190
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:33,879
Speaker 6: with the entire. Family in the long, run it would

1191
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:36,280
Speaker 6: be better for you both in terms of physical and mental.

1192
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,240
Speaker 3: Health, anyway Hope her, Responds.

1193
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:40,640
Speaker 6: My partner got his crap together in the, end, thankfully

1194
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:43,319
Speaker 6: and has defended me to his family since the last.

1195
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:46,120
Speaker 6: INCIDENT i had surgery planned for Last, december and due

1196
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:48,840
Speaker 6: to having a dodgy immune, system we chose to semi

1197
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 6: isolate in the run up to my op SO i

1198
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:53,799
Speaker 6: didn't catch the. Bid his grandma passed away and the

1199
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:56,040
Speaker 6: funeral was a month, before so he chose to.

1200
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:57,879
Speaker 3: Attend virtually his parents.

1201
00:49:57,680 --> 00:50:00,279
Speaker 6: Lashed, out and he, SAID i loved my grad much,

1202
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:03,160
Speaker 6: dearly but my partner is my priority And i'm standing

1203
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 6: by my. Decision that was the first time that he

1204
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:07,760
Speaker 6: ever stood up to, them and it was a huge.

1205
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:10,880
Speaker 6: Breakthrough SOMETIMES i do wish that he was more, confident

1206
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,279
Speaker 6: but his family made him feel so small growing. Up

1207
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 6: and that's the end of that. Story, Okay SO i

1208
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:16,919
Speaker 6: mean that makes sense that it was, like it's more

1209
00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 6: than just the. Situation it's kind of a thing a

1210
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:22,319
Speaker 6: way that he's been treated by them his whole.

1211
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 3: Life, yeah definitely makes sense that, it.

1212
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:26,120
Speaker 5: You, know a little kind of coddling him a little.

1213
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 1: Bit, Yeah, sam here og, host we're going to get

1214
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:31,239
Speaker 1: back to these. Stories but here's three minutes fads from our.

1215
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:34,759
Speaker 5: Sponsors, first giving birth was already, hard but my mother

1216
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 5: in law is making it.

1217
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:38,719
Speaker 3: Harder you're supposed to help in this, situation, Girl.

1218
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:42,040
Speaker 5: I'm here to. Share my negative birth experience involves my

1219
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 5: mother in, Law kathy is her, name a useless midwife

1220
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 5: to WHOM i paid five thousand dollars of cash and

1221
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:52,680
Speaker 5: unealfhal hospital. Bs WHEN i went into, labor my husband

1222
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 5: twenty four mail called his mother and told her the.

1223
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 5: News she was planning to drive over ten hours to

1224
00:50:57,680 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 5: be ready to meet the. Baby when he was. Born

1225
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,000
Speaker 5: lanned on a home berth and had a midwife and a.

1226
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 5: Doula they had been great all throughout the pregnancy until

1227
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:08,319
Speaker 5: the DAY i went into. Labor it obviously wasn't the,

1228
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:11,840
Speaker 5: plan BUT i labored at home for over thirty. Hours

1229
00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 5: oh my. God during act of, labor the midwife finally showed,

1230
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:18,479
Speaker 5: up but did nothing to. Participate she and the doula

1231
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:21,400
Speaker 5: hung out in my living room lounging around and giggling

1232
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:24,640
Speaker 5: back and forth WHILE i was in the bedroom struggling.

1233
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:27,040
Speaker 3: To coll, oh, What i'm, Sorry therefore that's what you're

1234
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 3: supposed to.

1235
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:29,879
Speaker 5: Do they're, like oh my. God my husband was doing

1236
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:32,000
Speaker 5: the best he could as my support person with his

1237
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:35,040
Speaker 5: very little, knowledge and was trying to counter pressure on my.

1238
00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:37,320
Speaker 5: Back he wasn't doing it quite, right so it was

1239
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:40,200
Speaker 5: actually more painful than. Helpful when he needed to, rest

1240
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:43,320
Speaker 5: my mother stepped in to help me through. Contractions, again

1241
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:47,040
Speaker 5: the midwife and doulah did nothing to coach or comfort

1242
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 5: me when it would have been very. Helpful this was

1243
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,840
Speaker 5: my first birth, experience SO i didn't know how to

1244
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:54,040
Speaker 5: ask for WHAT i. NEEDED i was quickly getting to

1245
00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 5: my exhaustion limit and still not fully. Dilated here's away

1246
00:51:57,640 --> 00:52:00,120
Speaker 5: you could imagine the PAIN i was. In every two two,

1247
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:03,280
Speaker 5: MINUTES i felt an urge LIKE i had explosive diarrhea

1248
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 5: while cramping across my lower back and, midsection with intensity

1249
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:10,880
Speaker 5: and crippling pain of A Charlie horse day last thirty seconds.

1250
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 5: EACH i was strictly forbidden to surrender to this urge

1251
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:15,719
Speaker 5: to push and had to hold it back with all

1252
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 5: the ENERGY i had. Left IF i did give it

1253
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 5: in and, PUSH i would damage my cervix SINCE i

1254
00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 5: wasn't fully. Dilated this is WHAT i was dealing with

1255
00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:25,440
Speaker 5: while my midwife spent a full hour making up her

1256
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:27,640
Speaker 5: mind whether or not to call an ambulance to transport

1257
00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:29,800
Speaker 5: me to a hospital of forty minutes away SO i

1258
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 5: could get an epidural and finally relax enough to. Progress

1259
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:35,760
Speaker 5: my husband was begging her to please make a, decision

1260
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:39,080
Speaker 5: because that's what we hired her. For she finally called

1261
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 5: the squad and they showed up within ten. Minutes kathy

1262
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:43,799
Speaker 5: had been at her hotel for almost a full day

1263
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:46,760
Speaker 5: at this point and was blowing up my husband's, phone

1264
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 5: complaining that it was taking too long and she would

1265
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 5: not have any time to spend with a. Baby i'm

1266
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 5: sorry the birth you're complaining about the length of time

1267
00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:56,319
Speaker 5: of the birth is not really up to. Ope i'm

1268
00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:57,839
Speaker 5: sure she wouldn't want to have a thirty hour.

1269
00:52:57,960 --> 00:53:00,400
Speaker 6: Labor, yeah maybe if you like did so something to,

1270
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:03,320
Speaker 6: help it wouldn't be so. Long hobby told her he'd

1271
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 6: call when the baby was, born and to Understand this

1272
00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:08,760
Speaker 6: was not about her or her. Timing when we finally

1273
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 6: got to the, HOSPITAL i was throwing, up contracting every,

1274
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:14,880
Speaker 6: minute and still holding back from. Pushing kathy was still

1275
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:18,360
Speaker 6: incessantly calling and, texting explaining that she should never have

1276
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 6: come if we weren't going to let her in the

1277
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:22,319
Speaker 6: hospital while that baby was being. Born the issue was

1278
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:24,880
Speaker 6: there was a certain number of passes allowed for support

1279
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 6: people in the delivery, room and they were already taken

1280
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:29,920
Speaker 6: up by my, hobby my, mother and my. Midwife my

1281
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,319
Speaker 6: husband explained this To kathy and told her there was

1282
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 6: nothing he could.

1283
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,520
Speaker 5: Do she would just have to. Wait instead of understanding

1284
00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:38,320
Speaker 5: that we were doing the best we, could she continued

1285
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:41,319
Speaker 5: calling and, texting crying and whining about how unfair it,

1286
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:44,600
Speaker 5: was stressing my husband even more than he already. Was

1287
00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:48,000
Speaker 5: it was then time for me to start. Pushing. Finally

1288
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:50,960
Speaker 5: hope you've made. It you're so. Close the doctor on

1289
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:53,360
Speaker 5: duty told my midwife to hold my legs SINCE i

1290
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:56,040
Speaker 5: was paralyzed from the waist down from the. Epidural she

1291
00:53:56,160 --> 00:54:00,320
Speaker 5: replied that she doesn't hold legs and to ask someone else.

1292
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:02,759
Speaker 5: ELSE i flipped out on her and, screamed then what

1293
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:05,200
Speaker 5: AM i paying you FOR i was, assuming AND i

1294
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:07,440
Speaker 5: would have had the, CAPABILITY i would have punted her

1295
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:10,160
Speaker 5: in the. Throat everyone's eyes got wide and the room

1296
00:54:10,239 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 5: got quiet until some nurses stepped in to do what

1297
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:15,600
Speaker 5: the doctor. Said, finally after thirty six hours of, labor

1298
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:20,480
Speaker 5: my baby boy was. BORN i was, dissociated, exhausted and.

1299
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 5: TRAUMATIZED i didn't even want to hold. HIM i just

1300
00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:25,760
Speaker 5: wanted to. Sleep my midwife, left opening up a support

1301
00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:27,880
Speaker 5: person pass that we Allowed kathy to have in her.

1302
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:30,200
Speaker 5: Stead when she came a few hours, later she didn't

1303
00:54:30,239 --> 00:54:33,160
Speaker 5: even seem happy to be. There she was moody and

1304
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:36,480
Speaker 5: acted like she had been. Inconvenience the lactation consultant came

1305
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:39,480
Speaker 5: in During kathy's visit to help me with. BREASTFEEDING i

1306
00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:41,600
Speaker 5: was in tears at this point BECAUSE i was in

1307
00:54:41,719 --> 00:54:44,799
Speaker 5: so much pain attempting to nurse my. Baby kathy kept

1308
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:47,839
Speaker 5: trying to insert herself over the lactation, consultant even though

1309
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:50,680
Speaker 5: she was never able to successfully feed her any of her.

1310
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:53,279
Speaker 5: CHILDREN i snapped at her to sit, down AND i

1311
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:55,640
Speaker 5: don't need one more person tell me What i'm doing.

1312
00:54:55,719 --> 00:54:57,839
Speaker 5: Wrong she got quiet good the rest of the time

1313
00:54:57,880 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 5: she was. There she hardly said a word to. Me,

1314
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:04,879
Speaker 5: yeah you need to be. QUIET i stayed two more

1315
00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:07,839
Speaker 5: days in the hospital BECAUSE i was still struggling to

1316
00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 5: nurse my, son and that is an expensive. Stay, also

1317
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:13,920
Speaker 5: it sucks because she paid five thousand dollars for the

1318
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:16,400
Speaker 5: midwife to not have to probably you, know, yeah to

1319
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:18,520
Speaker 5: have a home. Birth, yeah to home birth and not

1320
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:21,759
Speaker 5: have all of those hospital. Expenses. Yeah it felt LIKE

1321
00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:24,440
Speaker 5: i was being sliced with razor blades every time he.

1322
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:33,960
Speaker 5: Sucked oh my, Gosh, no, guys the pediatric, doctor, nurses

1323
00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:37,000
Speaker 5: and lactation consultants all checked him for a lip and

1324
00:55:37,040 --> 00:55:39,359
Speaker 5: a tongue tie and told us he did not have

1325
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:41,360
Speaker 5: any and that there must be something wrong with. Me

1326
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:43,920
Speaker 5: what do you? MEAN i called my midwife because part

1327
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:46,400
Speaker 5: of the SERVICES i paid her for was being my lactation.

1328
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:49,320
Speaker 5: Consultant the hospital refused to give her the third pass

1329
00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:51,960
Speaker 5: that my mother in law returned after she, left giving

1330
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:55,000
Speaker 5: me some weird policy about personal staff not being allowed

1331
00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 5: back in after they, left not even during visiting. Hours

1332
00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:00,680
Speaker 5: during this, TIME i was threatened by nurse who told

1333
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:02,680
Speaker 5: me IF i didn't figure it out or give the baby,

1334
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:06,360
Speaker 5: formula they would not let me take him. Home oh he's. Trying,

1335
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:09,359
Speaker 5: oh he's literally. Trying it wasn't until late at night

1336
00:56:09,440 --> 00:56:12,400
Speaker 5: on the second day someone finally thought to offer me a.

1337
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:15,760
Speaker 5: PUMP i sobbed with relief WHEN i was finally able

1338
00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:18,160
Speaker 5: to get enough milk to feed him with a medicine.

1339
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:18,560
Speaker 4: Dropper.

1340
00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:22,840
Speaker 5: Yeah is everyone? Dumb everyone at this hospital plus the midwife?

1341
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:26,799
Speaker 5: Stupid oh my. GOSH i was finally discharged the third

1342
00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:29,319
Speaker 5: day and so relieved to be going. Home we found

1343
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:32,719
Speaker 5: out later through a, dentist my son had both a

1344
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:35,000
Speaker 5: lip and a tongue tie and that's why his latch

1345
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:36,920
Speaker 5: was so. Painful oh so all that time when the

1346
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:39,120
Speaker 5: doctors were, like, no he didn't have, one it must

1347
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:44,280
Speaker 5: be you, think are these doctors? Stupid apparently they haven't

1348
00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:45,360
Speaker 5: done anything.

1349
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:48,680
Speaker 3: Right, Well i'm so angry for hope right.

1350
00:56:48,719 --> 00:56:51,680
Speaker 5: Now. DUDE i wouldn't pay anyone. Anything, YEAH i would

1351
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:55,120
Speaker 5: get the doctors slamming on the. Hospital just, TODAY i

1352
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:57,120
Speaker 5: to you, guys.

1353
00:56:57,120 --> 00:56:59,640
Speaker 6: Sucking i'm not paying you a dime for your dime

1354
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:01,279
Speaker 6: whatever you were doing in.

1355
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:03,680
Speaker 5: There there was nothing wrong with me and it could

1356
00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:06,520
Speaker 5: have all been fixed within an hour had one staff

1357
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:09,560
Speaker 5: member been. Competent two years. Later my son is healthy

1358
00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:11,879
Speaker 5: and happy and he now has a little. Sister. Yay

1359
00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:14,080
Speaker 5: there are sixteen months, apart AND i was able to

1360
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:16,800
Speaker 5: have the home birth of my, dreams peaceful and. Perfect

1361
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:18,680
Speaker 5: as for mother in, law we didn't let her come

1362
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:21,720
Speaker 5: until a whole month. Later i'm so thankful for my

1363
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 5: supportive husband and mother who were there for me WHEN

1364
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:27,360
Speaker 5: i needed them. MOST i know this post was, long

1365
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:29,800
Speaker 5: but thanks for sticking with it and reading till the.

1366
00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:32,200
Speaker 5: END i can't wait to read some of your juicy

1367
00:57:32,240 --> 00:57:35,000
Speaker 5: mother in law and birth. Experiences spill all the tea

1368
00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:37,560
Speaker 5: in the. Comments edit for anyone who was caught up

1369
00:57:37,560 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 5: at the fact THAT i wanted a home, Birth it's

1370
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:41,240
Speaker 5: very common Where i'm, from and just based on my

1371
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:43,880
Speaker 5: own experience with the hospital my first, TIME i won't

1372
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:46,440
Speaker 5: be itching for another berth there anytime.

1373
00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:46,760
Speaker 4: Soon.

1374
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:50,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, also my first midwife was highly recommended to me

1375
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 5: by a friend who had two kids with her. Help

1376
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:54,480
Speaker 5: she was highly reviewed by others and is well known

1377
00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:56,960
Speaker 5: by the hospitals and doctors in the area who work with.

1378
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 5: HER i just happened to have a bad, experience and who,

1379
00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:02,240
Speaker 5: knows oh how much of it was my perception versus.

1380
00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:04,560
Speaker 5: REALITY i found my dream team THAT i will stick with,

1381
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:07,160
Speaker 5: now And i'm grateful to have services like this available

1382
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:08,920
Speaker 5: to me SO i can make the choice to give

1383
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:11,120
Speaker 5: birth in the peace of my. Home and there are some.

1384
00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:14,560
Speaker 5: Comments comment once, says, WOW i hope you gave terrible

1385
00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:17,320
Speaker 5: reviews to the useless, midwife And doulah replies, AS i

1386
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:20,680
Speaker 5: hope you reported her to the licensing. AGENCY opi says

1387
00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:23,600
Speaker 5: in the STATE i, love there is no midwife license

1388
00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:28,240
Speaker 5: required to. Practice, yeah well that's obvious that lady has

1389
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:31,560
Speaker 5: never been licensed for. Anything that's a lady you've found

1390
00:58:31,600 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 5: on the.

1391
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:33,360
Speaker 3: STREET i bet you can't even.

1392
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 5: Drive, reply so anyone can just, say, Hey i'm a.

1393
00:58:36,320 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 5: Midwife no, oversight no, Certification, yeah that's. Scary op says

1394
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:43,800
Speaker 5: there are limited, rules but there is no official. Certification

1395
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 5: all midwives have to be dulass first and they do

1396
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:48,760
Speaker 5: have to get an. Education you can ask a midwife

1397
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:51,080
Speaker 5: to see any certificates they do, hold even though they

1398
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:54,240
Speaker 5: aren't required by, law and look at the. Reviews my

1399
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:57,080
Speaker 5: second midwife doesn't have a, website but she's about seventy

1400
00:58:57,120 --> 00:59:00,520
Speaker 5: years old and delivered several of my friends my friend's,

1401
00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:03,440
Speaker 5: babies but my actual. Friends she's also delivered a quarter

1402
00:59:03,520 --> 00:59:06,640
Speaker 5: of the millennial Gen amish population in my, state SO

1403
00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:08,960
Speaker 5: i knew she'd do what she was. Doing comment two,

1404
00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:11,160
Speaker 5: Says i'm a nurse And i'm personally appalled by this

1405
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:14,040
Speaker 5: country's treatment of pregnant and postpartum. WOMEN i would be

1406
00:59:14,160 --> 00:59:16,760
Speaker 5: absolutely terrified to have a baby in this. Country there

1407
00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:19,120
Speaker 5: is no field of medicine where the staff is more

1408
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:21,960
Speaker 5: dismissive of their patients than women's. Health the one TIME

1409
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:23,840
Speaker 5: i had to work in a hospital with a women's health,

1410
00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:27,200
Speaker 5: WING i was infuriated by the PATIENTS i received from.

1411
00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:30,600
Speaker 5: Them IN icu just flat out ignored signs and symptoms

1412
00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:34,440
Speaker 5: of problems until patients were basically. CRASHING i still get

1413
00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:36,360
Speaker 5: angry over the case of a black woman who bled

1414
00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:41,040
Speaker 5: out because staff ignored blatant signs of postop. Leading comment three, says, Oh,

1415
00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:43,520
Speaker 5: pee your husband should have just shut off his phone

1416
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:44,040
Speaker 5: For god's.

1417
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:44,240
Speaker 4: Sake.

1418
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:47,360
Speaker 5: REPLY i have also thought the husband was also part

1419
00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:49,680
Speaker 5: of the, problem as he was allowing constant texts and

1420
00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:51,880
Speaker 5: phone calls from his mother to impact his own mental

1421
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 5: health and, stress which made him even more useless to

1422
00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:56,920
Speaker 5: his wife as he was distracted by his mummy and her.

1423
00:59:56,960 --> 01:00:00,960
Speaker 5: NEEDS i never understand why people don't, silence. Don'tifications mother

1424
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:02,960
Speaker 5: in law knows where they are and was told that

1425
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:04,680
Speaker 5: she would get a. Call when everything was said and,

1426
01:00:04,720 --> 01:00:06,800
Speaker 5: done that literally should have been. It husband should have

1427
01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:09,400
Speaker 5: ceased all communication with her and focused on his. Wife

1428
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:12,200
Speaker 5: and that's the end of that. Story BUT i, Agree,

1429
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:15,000
Speaker 5: yeah next, time if you have another, baby don't let

1430
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:19,560
Speaker 5: your mom keep going, blocker turn on. Silent, yeah do

1431
01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:20,720
Speaker 5: not disturb.

1432
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:22,480
Speaker 6: All that jazz AND i mean when they did have

1433
01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:24,720
Speaker 6: that second, baby they said that she wasn't allowed there

1434
01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:26,640
Speaker 6: until a month after the baby.

1435
01:00:26,440 --> 01:00:28,680
Speaker 5: Was, perfect so, perfect.

1436
01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:30,880
Speaker 3: He has made all of the correct decisions the second.

1437
01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 5: Time you had a trial around the first.

1438
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:34,280
Speaker 3: Time, yeah figured it out the second in the hard.

1439
01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:34,480
Speaker 2: Way