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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter at Steve haarvfm dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on time.

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Speaker 2: You got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject do I need to choose the

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Speaker 1: sure thing? Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm thirty years old and

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Speaker 1: pregnant with my first child. The father of my child

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Speaker 1: cheated on me, so I broke up with him five

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Speaker 1: days before I found out that I was pregnant. I

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Speaker 1: was so angry with him that I didn't even tell

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Speaker 1: him I was pregnant until last month. I've been dating

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Speaker 1: a man that's thirty seven and he has a daughter

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Speaker 1: from a previous relationship. I told him that I'm pregnant

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Speaker 1: the first day we met, and he said he loves kids,

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Speaker 1: and he hopes it's a boy because he wants it's

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Speaker 1: a boy. He's but everything my child needs from the

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Speaker 1: crib to all of the diapers, and we've only been

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Speaker 1: dating four months. He was the one that encouraged me

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Speaker 1: to call the father of my child and tell him

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Speaker 1: that I'm pregnant. He drove me to my ex's job

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Speaker 1: and sat in the car. When my ex saw my

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Speaker 1: little belly, he broke down and cried. He apologized over

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Speaker 1: and over for cheating on me and missing out on

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Speaker 1: my pregnancy. He was low key mad that I didn't

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Speaker 1: tell him months ago, but I told him that's on

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Speaker 1: him for being a cheater. I told him that I

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Speaker 1: have a boyfriend and my boyfriend is prepared to be

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Speaker 1: the daddy. That's when he tends up and told me

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Speaker 1: that my boyfriend won't be raising our baby. Then he

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Speaker 1: begged me to take him back and marry him before

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Speaker 1: the baby is born. I told him that wasn't going

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Speaker 1: to happen and I left. He's been blowing up my

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Speaker 1: phone since I unblocked him. My boyfriend is getting annoyed

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Speaker 1: with my exes calls, so he told me to decide

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Speaker 1: what I want to do. He said he will understand

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Speaker 1: if I want to be with my ex, but I'd

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Speaker 1: lose him and he really cares about me. Do I

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Speaker 1: stay with my boyfriend? Or should I give my ex

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Speaker 1: another chance? Of course, only you Yeah, I can answer that,

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Speaker 1: of course. But here's some questions you might want to

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Speaker 1: ask yourself. Why would you want to go back to

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Speaker 1: a cheater? This man cheated on you. If you give

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Speaker 1: him another chance, who's to say he won't cheat on

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Speaker 1: you again? Can he change?

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Speaker 2: Sure?

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Speaker 1: People change all the time, but have you seen any

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Speaker 1: changes in him? Because you didn't mention it in this letter. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: this new guy is stepping up in every way possible,

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Speaker 1: every way possible. He's even prepared to be a dad

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Speaker 1: to your unborn child. I mean, that's big for any

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Speaker 1: man to do for a baby that's not his biologically.

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Speaker 2: That is big.

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Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, he's the one who encouraged

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Speaker 1: you to tell your ex about the baby. I mean,

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Speaker 1: that's another man move. I agree he had a right

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Speaker 1: to know the baby the father of your child, and

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Speaker 1: so you should have told him. I do agree with that,

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Speaker 1: But so now what Now he wants to rush and

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Speaker 1: marry you. Did you go with the man who cheated?

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Speaker 1: These are your questions? Do you go with the man

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Speaker 1: who cheated and is now trying to get back with you,

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Speaker 1: or the one who stepped up for you and your

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Speaker 1: unborn child in every way since day one, and who's

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Speaker 1: willing to help you raise a child? Those are your questions.

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Speaker 1: I get it. I say, bet on the sure thing.

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Speaker 1: The man who has shown you who he is, that man,

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Speaker 1: the biological dad, can co parent with you. He can

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Speaker 1: get court assigned visitation and pay child support based on

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Speaker 1: his income. That's my answer to you. Go with the

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Speaker 1: sure thing, Steve.

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Speaker 3: This letter really is a little challenging. This letter is deep, man,

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Speaker 3: this is crazy. I mean, if you look at this man,

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Speaker 3: this letter got some twisting angles. And I wasn't really

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Speaker 3: ready for this. Oh you're thirty years old, pregnant with

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Speaker 3: your first child. Father your child cheated on me.

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Speaker 4: So I broke up with him five days before I

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Speaker 4: found out I was pregnant. But I was so angry

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Speaker 4: with him that I didn't even tell him I was

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Speaker 4: pregnant until last month.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Now, you wrong for that. You wrong for that.

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Speaker 4: And the only reason you told him you was pregnant

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Speaker 4: last month as a month ago was because we'll find out, lady,

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Speaker 4: in that letter, that this man told you to tell

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Speaker 4: me I've been dating a man. He's thirty seven, he's

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Speaker 4: got a daughter. I told him I'm pregnant the first

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Speaker 4: day we met. He said he loves kids, and he

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Speaker 4: hopes it's a boy because he wants a boy.

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Speaker 2: Wow, this dude's special, Lady, this dude's special.

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Speaker 4: He bought everything my child needs from the crib, all

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Speaker 4: the diapers.

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Speaker 2: We only been dating for months.

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Speaker 4: He was the one that encouraged me to call the

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Speaker 4: father of my child and tell him that I'm pregnant

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Speaker 4: because he a man's man. You know what I mean,

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Speaker 4: that's the right thing you should have done. He drove

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Speaker 4: me to my ex's job and set in the car.

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Speaker 4: When my ex saw my little belly, he broke down

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Speaker 4: and cried. Okay, he regretted what he did. He apologized

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Speaker 4: over and over for cheating on me and missing out

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Speaker 4: on my pregnancy. Now, what I'm asking is when she

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Speaker 4: said she saw his little belly, she had had the

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Speaker 4: baby already.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, he saw like her pooch.

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Speaker 2: You know she was okay, I thought, Okay, he broke

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Speaker 2: down it.

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Speaker 4: He apologized over and over and for missing out on

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Speaker 4: my pregnancy. That's what made me think, did she have

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Speaker 4: it already.

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Speaker 2: That's what made me wonder that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, anyway, he was low key mad that I didn't

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Speaker 4: tell him months ago. But I told him that's on

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Speaker 4: him for being a cheater. That's not the penalty for cheating. Lady,

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Speaker 4: you should have had another punishment. You broke up with him,

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Speaker 4: but keeping the fact that this is his baby away

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Speaker 4: from him dad was not cool at all at all.

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Speaker 2: You didn't have it right there.

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Speaker 4: I told him that I have a boyfriend and my

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Speaker 4: boyfriend is prepared to be the daddy. That's when he

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Speaker 4: tests up and told me my boyfriend won't be raising

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Speaker 4: our baby. Well, yeah, that ain't how that work. Though,

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Speaker 4: that ain't how that work. I don't want to tell

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Speaker 4: you that, but you know that you can't make that decision.

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Speaker 4: Then he begged me to take him back and marry him.

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Speaker 4: Oh I see now. Then he begged me to take

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Speaker 4: him back and marry him before the baby is born. Lord,

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Speaker 4: have mercy A shotgun wedding without.

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Speaker 1: The shotgun A mighty hang on, Steve, We'll have part

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Speaker 1: two of your response coming up at twenty three minutes

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Speaker 1: after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter, subject, do I need

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Speaker 1: to choose the sure thing. We'll get back into it

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Speaker 1: right after this.

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Speaker 4: Did you know you can now buy a Hondai on Amazon,

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Speaker 4: the same place where you order yoga mats, a youth brush,

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Speaker 4: and pretty much everything else, all from the comfort of

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Speaker 4: your home, just located nearby dealer. Pick your color, your options,

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Speaker 4: check the price, and with a few dotting of some

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Speaker 4: ey's and crosses some teas, Jaila, your Hondai is ready

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Speaker 4: for pick up.

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Speaker 2: It's that easy.

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Speaker 4: Visit Hounda USA dot com for more details. Limited availability

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Speaker 4: pick up through participating Hondai dealers and select market.

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: Like you said, very deep, The subject is do I

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Speaker 1: need to choose the sure thing?

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Speaker 4: This is hard when this is a thirty year old

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Speaker 4: lady that got pregnant and before she found out she

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Speaker 4: was pregnant, her boyfriend, who was the father of the baby,

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Speaker 4: cheated on her. She didn't find out until after she

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Speaker 4: broke up with him five days later that she pregnant,

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Speaker 4: so she ghosted it. And then she met a man

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Speaker 4: that's thirty seven, and she's dating a man who's thirty

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Speaker 4: seven who has a daughter from a previous relationship. She

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Speaker 4: told him the first day, I'm pregnant the first day

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Speaker 4: we met, and he said he loves kids and he

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Speaker 4: hopes it's a boy because he wants a boy.

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Speaker 2: Wow, okay, he.

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Speaker 4: Bought everything my child needs, crib dippers, everything.

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Speaker 2: We only been dating four months. This is a heck

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Speaker 2: of a guy right here.

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Speaker 4: He then he encouraged you to call the father of

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Speaker 4: your child and tell him that I'm pregnant because he

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Speaker 4: already know there's goin to be some drama with this.

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Speaker 2: Let's get this out the way now. He drove.

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Speaker 4: He drove you to your ex's job and waited in

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Speaker 4: the car. When you exaw your little belly, he broke

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Speaker 4: down and cried. He apologized for cheating on you and

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Speaker 4: for missing out on your pregnancy. Then he was mad

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Speaker 4: because you didn't tell him months before, But I told

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Speaker 4: him that's on him for being a cheater.

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Speaker 2: Well as not.

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Speaker 4: You should have still told him that because being a

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Speaker 4: father has nothing to do with him cheating. He's still

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Speaker 4: the father of the baby, and you know he's the

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Speaker 4: father of the baby. I told him that I have boyfriend,

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Speaker 4: and my boyfriend is prepared to beat the dad.

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Speaker 2: That's when he tensed up.

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Speaker 4: Told me my boyfriend won't be raising our baby. Then

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Speaker 4: he begged me to take him back and marry him

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Speaker 4: before the baby is born. Now this is where we

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Speaker 4: left off at, and I said, a shotgun. With without

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Speaker 4: this shotgun, that's some old school stuff. You got her pregnant,

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Speaker 4: you're gonna marry her. Now he wants to marry you

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Speaker 4: before the baby is born. That would give the baby

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Speaker 4: his name, that would make him responsible. Blah blah blah,

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Speaker 4: blah blah blah. Then he begged me to take him

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Speaker 4: back and mary before the baby's going. I told him

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Speaker 4: that wasn't gonna happen and I left. He been blowing

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Speaker 4: my phone up since I unblocked him. My boyfriend is

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Speaker 4: getting annoyed with my exes called, so he told me,

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Speaker 4: you decide what you want to do. He said he

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Speaker 4: would understand if I wanted to be with my ex,

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Speaker 4: but I would lose him. And he really can is

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Speaker 4: about me? He does, and he's done nothing but prove that.

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Speaker 4: Do I stay with my boyfriend or should I give

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Speaker 4: my ex another chance? But we need to ask a

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Speaker 4: very important question. What about your ex is different? That's

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Speaker 4: the starting question. What's different other than the fact that

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Speaker 4: he has the news that he's about to be a

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Speaker 4: father or what about him is different? What's his views

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Speaker 4: on cheating? Who is he seeing right now? Because lady,

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Speaker 4: he can't just up and ask you to marry. Who

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Speaker 4: is he seeing right now? Cause ain't no man, he

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Speaker 4: ain't doing nothing. You need some background on this man.

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Speaker 4: What is he doing right now? Who is he seeing?

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Speaker 4: How much time is he spending with her? What's the

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Speaker 4: relationship like to see that? This is happening so fast?

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Speaker 4: You need some information. I don't know if you should

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Speaker 4: leave this guy for your ex not X is making

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Speaker 4: a pretty big offer. Let's get married right now. Let's

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Speaker 4: get married before the baby born. I hate this is happening.

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Speaker 4: He could be fixed itself up now. Maybe this could

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Speaker 4: be the thing that clicks the.

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Speaker 2: Switch for him.

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Speaker 4: But your boyfriend switch is already clicked now. He said

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Speaker 4: he really cares about me. But is he in love

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Speaker 4: with you? Because you're gonna need that to survive in marriage.

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Speaker 4: But has he told you he's in love with you?

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Speaker 4: That's what you need to find out. Is he in

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Speaker 4: love with you? Can he not live without you? Because

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Speaker 4: he said, understand if I want to be with my

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Speaker 4: ex he'll understand that's the father of your child. Maybe

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Speaker 4: that's you will see a better mute. But you're gonna

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Speaker 4: lose me. And I really care about you, but I'm

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Speaker 4: gonna be gone now. You can keep the crib and

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Speaker 4: the diaples all that that.

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Speaker 2: I'm out, So I don't.

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Speaker 4: I can't answer that question for you because I don't

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Speaker 4: know either guy except what you put in this letter.

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Speaker 4: And according to Shirley, one guy is a cheater, and

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Speaker 4: the other guy stepped up and filled out the all

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Speaker 4: the criteria and that's all we know. Your first guy

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Speaker 4: is the cheatah, which is why you stop seeing it now.

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Speaker 4: He saw you pregnant, now he want to marry you.

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Speaker 4: You go from I'm a cheatah till we broke up

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Speaker 4: to I ain't said nothing to you till I saw

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Speaker 4: you now I want to marry you.

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Speaker 2: A lot of information missing in essence.

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Speaker 4: I think what you need to do is put everything

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Speaker 4: on pause, pray about it, get yourself some clarity. Shirley said,

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Speaker 4: it looks like this new guy is a safer and

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Speaker 4: better beat.

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Speaker 2: I must admit she's right.

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Speaker 4: I must admit that, and I very rarely say that

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Speaker 4: that is so.

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Speaker 2: Not true because then the letter wouldn't be good. If

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Speaker 2: we just agreed on everything everything, you wouldn't know.

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Speaker 4: What the hell are you listening for? But she may

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Speaker 4: be one hundred percent correct in this right here. I

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Speaker 4: don't see the upside to going back to the X.

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Speaker 2: I don't see it. Oh that he's going to marry

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Speaker 2: you now? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: If he changed, how has he changed? She never gave

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Speaker 1: us any examples of that?

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Speaker 2: All right?

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Speaker 1: Post your comments, Thank you Steve on Today's Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: at Steve harveyfm dot com, on Instagram and Facebook, and

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Speaker 1: check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio

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Speaker 1: app Free Never Sounded So Good. You can download it

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Speaker 1: Today you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show