1 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: I'm Peanut too, himing, and this is the NFL Player's 2 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:17,120 Speaker 1: second act podcast. And I got my guy Roaman Harper 3 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:17,639 Speaker 1: with me today. 4 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:18,960 Speaker 2: What's up chilling? 5 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,120 Speaker 1: That's yeah. 6 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,440 Speaker 3: Hey, look I'm gonna keep it cool. First of all, 7 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,080 Speaker 3: it's colding of in his room, so I'm gonna get 8 00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 3: this freezing and here. If they don't even need put 9 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 3: your coat on it, I'm not. I'm committed to the 10 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 3: fashion today. I will say this though, We'll say thank 11 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:35,240 Speaker 3: you all of our viewers, all the people that listen 12 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 3: and watch us. Please tell a friend, to tell a 13 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:40,200 Speaker 3: friend to tell a friend. Give us a five star rating, 14 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:43,960 Speaker 3: give us a review, click the follow button and share 15 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,240 Speaker 3: whoever you pick up your podcast with this Apple Podcasts 16 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:51,040 Speaker 3: or iHeartRadio. Please do what you do. Peanut, who we 17 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 3: got today? I'm excited about this next guest. 18 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 1: He played fifteen years in the NFL with the Jets, 19 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: the Falcons and the Cardinals. Y at fifteen, that's a loone, 20 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 1: that's a long time. He's got a one hundred and 21 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: thirty three and a half sacks in his career, five 22 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:10,160 Speaker 1: time pro bowler, three time All Pro John Abraham, it's 23 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 1: a hell of a resume, Boss, yeah, man, I'm telling 24 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:14,280 Speaker 1: you man, like. 25 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 3: The things like I remember you so much from Atlanta. 26 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 3: Forget how much work you did with the Jets. 27 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, well, if you really paid attention, they will probably 28 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 4: say that I was better at the Jets. You know. 29 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 4: That's when I had a all Pro three Pro bowls. Yeah, 30 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,679 Speaker 4: you know, I only had two probos after that. I 31 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,560 Speaker 4: got one in Atlanta, like one in Arizona in the 32 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,959 Speaker 4: two years I was there. So I was spreading it out. 33 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, just blows on mind. And the thing is, I mean, 34 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,440 Speaker 3: I'll just be honest with you. The reason why you 35 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 3: always stick out in my mind is because you had 36 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:46,640 Speaker 3: this humongous, flamboyant tattoo on your right arm that just 37 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 3: when you would go down and I'm we're looking at 38 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 3: the offense, it's just always like, dude, I can really 39 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 3: see a lot of color in this guy's tattoo. 40 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 4: And you know, being a black man getting red on 41 00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 4: your Hey, when I got a lot when I got 42 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,640 Speaker 4: my first tattoo. And it's funny because when I was 43 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 4: in New York, they hated my tattoos, so I only 44 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 4: had my body. You come on, you gotta think I 45 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,880 Speaker 4: was back then, like back then, you know, we if 46 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 4: you were you were considered the hood, or if you 47 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 4: had tattoos. My head coach at the time wasn't having it. 48 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 4: And everybody knew who my head coach for New York. Yes, 49 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,640 Speaker 4: they know. It was so it was like, you know, 50 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,399 Speaker 4: you know, just coming down, coming down, I'm like, dude, 51 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 4: it's just a tattoo, you know. But when I got 52 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:30,400 Speaker 4: when they gave me money in Atlanta, you're not they 53 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:34,680 Speaker 4: should navigate that. Hey. I went and out like, look, 54 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:41,240 Speaker 4: Lebron got a tattoo. Here here here he twenty eight. Hey, 55 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 4: let me get it here, let me get this. Let 56 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:44,640 Speaker 4: me get right here too, let me get this, let 57 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:46,240 Speaker 4: me get this. I got all taped up. Then I 58 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:47,840 Speaker 4: was like, I made enough money. I ain't had to 59 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:49,640 Speaker 4: worry about working, you know what I. 60 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 1: Mean, just like spurt the moment tast or did they something? 61 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 4: A lot of them were so on my left leg. 62 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 4: I'm sorry my right leg. I have family members because 63 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,040 Speaker 4: I figured I always got to walk with them, you 64 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,120 Speaker 4: know what I mean. Uh, my daughter's on my chest 65 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,600 Speaker 4: because I always got to carry. I got my life 66 00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 4: in my pain because I got tired of people talking 67 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 4: with me. You know. At the end of the day, 68 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 4: I'm like, John, this is your life. Whatever pain you 69 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,320 Speaker 4: go through, nobody else can help you through. So and 70 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 4: also I got my mom on this side because my 71 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 4: mom was my strength. I got like my dad on 72 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 4: this side, and a lot of negative stuff that happened 73 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 4: in my life on this side, you know what I mean. Yeah, 74 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 4: it's because the whole story, my mom kept me right. 75 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 4: My dad left. So you know, it's all like stuff 76 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 4: that makes sense when I when I look at it, 77 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,160 Speaker 4: you know, even like some stuff on my tattoo. I 78 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 4: had to get John be nice on this side at 79 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 4: one point in my life, you know what I'm saying, 80 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 4: So once more in my life. But you know, also 81 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 4: I think tattoos carry negative and positive energy. So I'm 82 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 4: starting to cover some of them up. You know, I 83 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 4: got to f you right here, and I gotta yeah, 84 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 4: I gotta go, you know, I gotta Hennessy tattoo right here. Yeah, 85 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 4: they gotta go. I've been four years sober now, so 86 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 4: you know, I gotta get that all the way, you know. 87 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 4: So it's certain things that I got to move on 88 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 4: from my life if I want to have a clarity 89 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,560 Speaker 4: of mind and feel like I'm growing right right. 90 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 1: So I've been playing football my whole life. You're a 91 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 1: Pop Warner guy, yes, and we've been playing football. I've 92 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,680 Speaker 1: been you way older than me, so you've been playing 93 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,120 Speaker 1: since the beginning of time, like the beginning of time. 94 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 1: My question to you is, how do you only play 95 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:21,160 Speaker 1: football for one year in high school and then a 96 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 1: few years later you turn around and you become a 97 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 1: first round draft Like how how does that? How does 98 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 1: that happen? Like what did you do in that one year? 99 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 1: And why did you wait so late to play? 100 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 2: How you find that long? 101 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,160 Speaker 4: That's a good question right now, man, It's the honest question. 102 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 4: I got to tell you is that I was a 103 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,200 Speaker 4: beast in like little league, Like I was probably like 104 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:40,160 Speaker 4: both of y'all was beast. 105 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:40,720 Speaker 2: We were beast. 106 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,080 Speaker 4: But I was a guard. And then in the eighth 107 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 4: grade they always call me Tony. Okay, so so if 108 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,919 Speaker 4: I say Tony every now and then, it's just just 109 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 4: how So you know, I'm sitting there and I'm like, 110 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 4: I'm playing football. I'm playing football, and I started loving it. 111 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,280 Speaker 4: I was a receiving receiving in d n SO one 112 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 4: day and cool, like at lunch break, I decided to 113 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,960 Speaker 4: play some you know, just flag football, just you know, 114 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 4: just running around with kids and stuff. I broke my ankle. 115 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 4: That was in eighth grade. My mom said, you will 116 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,479 Speaker 4: never play football again. I had to leave work. I 117 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 4: don't like seeing you get hurt, and you'll never play 118 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:23,360 Speaker 4: football again. So band, basketball, track, Yeah, I was percussion 119 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 4: because I had to be sexy. Now yeah, I had 120 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,400 Speaker 4: to be yeah yeah yeah, but yeah, so I did 121 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 4: that and then my senior year after you know, you know, 122 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:38,359 Speaker 4: pretty much went and stayed in track, having a okay, 123 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 4: you know, basketball career. I'm six for playing center. Bro. 124 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:47,479 Speaker 4: I'm like school yeah, so yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. So 125 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 4: I'm like, mom, uh, you know, it's my senior year. 126 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 4: My girlfriend got more accolades in the senior book than 127 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 4: I got. You know, can I play football? She was like, 128 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,480 Speaker 4: do what you want? You old enough now to make 129 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 4: your own decisions. I was like, cool, I'm go out. 130 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,039 Speaker 4: I went out that first day. I was about to quit. 131 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,920 Speaker 4: I want us to getting hit. I played basketball, you 132 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 4: know what I'm saying. And then he had me at 133 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,599 Speaker 4: defensive end and receiver and I'm like, Receiver's cool, but 134 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 4: it's anything. But you'll understand. When they had twenty two 135 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 4: people on the team. 136 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 2: Right, Oh wow. 137 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:18,520 Speaker 4: So the biggest thing my coach ever told me, Jerald Boyd. 138 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 4: He was just like, seaball, getball. And I was like, 139 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 4: this is easy, you know what I mean? Because he 140 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 4: always was like, oh, John, you gotta do this, you 141 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 4: gotta do that. I know nothing about this game, Like 142 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaker 4: I know how we played when we were kids, you 143 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:32,680 Speaker 4: know what I mean, like to killer man, throw the 144 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:35,320 Speaker 4: ball up, you catch it, you run, you try to 145 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:38,040 Speaker 4: tackle somebody. When he told me that, everything else was simple. 146 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 4: And I just started getting recognized from Clemson, which school 147 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 4: I probably should have went to South Carolina, which my 148 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 4: mom wanted me to go to, so you know what 149 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,360 Speaker 4: that was. So I ended up going to South Carolina. 150 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 4: But I started just getting attention from all kinds of schools. 151 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 4: And you know, as even how y'all doing y'all work? Now, 152 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,599 Speaker 4: you think you're prepared to you get into the situation, right, 153 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 4: I wasn't prepared. I knew I didn't know anything about football. 154 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,080 Speaker 4: I didn't know what school was a good football school. 155 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,040 Speaker 4: I didn't know what schools this. I just know that 156 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 4: I I'm going somewhere free. I'm getting this free ninety nine, 157 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 4: and I don't know what I'm gonna get out of 158 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 4: this free ninety nine, but I'm gonna do it as 159 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 4: much as I can. So when I got to my 160 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 4: I guess when I got to college, and there's one 161 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 4: coach just like, yeah, you're a man amongst boys, And 162 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 4: I was like, you got mind you I'm playing d 163 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,680 Speaker 4: N and I'm two what you are? What you are? 164 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:30,080 Speaker 4: Now good? I'm about I was about two six, about 165 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 4: two o six, so I'm about your I was about 166 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 4: your side playing d N when I first got to 167 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 4: the league. If anybody know what I'm talking about, you 168 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 4: you understand if you see how small this guy is. 169 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 4: So I was playing d N. I led my I 170 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,520 Speaker 4: led my college my freshman year in sacks, sophomore year, 171 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 4: junior year, and senior so all year, all four years 172 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 4: in college, I led him in sacks simply because like 173 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 4: running running basketball track. Hey, I saw. All I did 174 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 4: was run like I like. And I never learned the 175 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 4: game because as a Rick Pecher. He also coached Warren 176 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 4: Sapp He was my but all these guys didn't know 177 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 4: how to coach. And I had Chris Kosh also. He 178 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 4: coached Simme and Rice. He was a little better with 179 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 4: me because you know, Simmy was just a freak athlete. 180 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 4: You know, Simmy was a freaking you see him right now. 181 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:23,560 Speaker 4: He still got seventeen abs. He still probably can run miles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 182 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 4: So he was better for me because he moved me 183 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 4: the linebacker. So he showed that this guy can run. 184 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 4: Like I used to run for days until I got 185 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 4: my injury. I used to run for days, you know, 186 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 4: I could just go. So that's what I did on 187 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 4: the football field, like all my sacks probably went like 188 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,520 Speaker 4: it was in the league. In the league, I learned 189 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 4: how to dance, you know what I mean. I learned 190 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 4: how to spend. I learned how to learn how to 191 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 4: do the inside outside move. So there's a lot of 192 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 4: different things you have to learn, like all our careers, 193 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 4: from from from first start to the end. You could 194 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 4: be like, how easier it wasn't because you started learning football, 195 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,200 Speaker 4: And like, my career didn't get better till I went 196 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,440 Speaker 4: to Atlanta and I got hurt again and I was 197 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:03,200 Speaker 4: in New York because we just hit so much. Hit 198 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,719 Speaker 4: hit hit, always had passed on. I'm like, man, I 199 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,679 Speaker 4: don't know how long be in this league. I even 200 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:10,280 Speaker 4: told him that my six years in the league. I 201 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 4: was just like, after I got that little franchise tag, 202 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:16,920 Speaker 4: I said, I'm done. I told my little guy, look, 203 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 4: I had a five year deal for seven million dollars. 204 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,319 Speaker 4: So and then they franchised me. They gave me a 205 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,320 Speaker 4: one year deal for six for me, that's changed. 206 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 2: Oh yeah that's changed. That's changed for five years. I 207 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:27,840 Speaker 2: guess that in one year. 208 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:30,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's changed. I'm like, I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. 209 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 4: I'm like cool. I'm like, I ain't gonna play no 210 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 4: more because I can't handle how they play. They practicing 211 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,040 Speaker 4: like this. I look, look, man, I don't have the 212 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:38,719 Speaker 4: surgery on my growing three times, and I came back 213 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,560 Speaker 4: three times. You know, I got my three Pro Bowls, 214 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,560 Speaker 4: and then it got to the point that nobody didn't 215 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 4: believe in me. And when I was in New York, 216 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,679 Speaker 4: they always felt like, I feel kind of bad for 217 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 4: Anthony Davis. You know, people talk about, oh, he's plastic man, 218 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:52,680 Speaker 4: he can't do this, he can't do that. When I 219 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 4: was in New York, they was like, he can't stay healthy, 220 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,319 Speaker 4: can't stay healthy. I'm like, not one time did you 221 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 4: ask me to sit out of practice. You're trying to 222 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,360 Speaker 4: make tough. But I'm like, I'm already tough, like all 223 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,280 Speaker 4: us are tough. You understand the mentality and the body. 224 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,640 Speaker 4: Like I got a question. I gotta ask a question 225 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:10,240 Speaker 4: over here. They was like, John, what's the difference between 226 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 4: football now? I said, they don't try to beat you up. 227 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 4: They try to teach you. So if you watch these 228 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,800 Speaker 4: players now, you can see you're gonna see these players 229 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 4: like what T. J. Watt is gonna play hopefully twenty 230 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,640 Speaker 4: years as a d N or even as outside linebacker. 231 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:24,680 Speaker 4: You know you're gonna see this because they're not trying 232 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,360 Speaker 4: to beat these players up, and you get to see 233 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,199 Speaker 4: you You get to see these household names like my 234 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:32,600 Speaker 4: homes playing the twenty years crazy and for us, we 235 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 4: was five ten. Let me get five of ten. If 236 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 4: I can get five of ten, you know what I mean? 237 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:41,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, it's gotta get ten. Yeah, when I'm teen, 238 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,760 Speaker 1: I'm good. Anything after ten it's a bonus. 239 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 240 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:48,439 Speaker 4: Because I came in right two thousand, I was like, yeah, 241 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:49,719 Speaker 4: it was still beating up. 242 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:54,680 Speaker 3: Still two days like real deal, real days with no 243 00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:56,440 Speaker 3: no like real guaranteed days. 244 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, insight. 245 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 3: They got to give you a day off, but every 246 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 3: seven days, like you can't, like yeah, Brian, and they. 247 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:10,280 Speaker 4: Didn't have understanding. There was no understanding. I remember when 248 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 4: we when we put I remember my rookie year, bro. 249 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 4: I was in the training room, right. I went and 250 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 4: I went and cut all my tape off, took all 251 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,840 Speaker 4: my almost and I was sitting in my locker and 252 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 4: the old heads was just sitting there with their tape 253 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,720 Speaker 4: on and everything like that. He said, boy, we gotta 254 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:28,120 Speaker 4: go right back to prices. I'm sitting there like literally, 255 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,280 Speaker 4: he was just like like everybody like I was, like, 256 00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:34,679 Speaker 4: took a shower, everything sitting there. I had to go 257 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,079 Speaker 4: back and get taped, go back and do this like 258 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 4: everybody just sat there in the same stuff like this. 259 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,240 Speaker 4: That's how bad it used to be back and they 260 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 4: man just like this, Like I'm talking, the only thing 261 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,120 Speaker 4: we do is take our paths off. And you might 262 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,559 Speaker 4: get retakeed. You might get retakeed, but nine out of 263 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 4: ten times you weren't gonna do all that. You weren't seriously, 264 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,720 Speaker 4: because if you've seen the Jets facility back in the day, 265 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,480 Speaker 4: it was horrible. Oh it was horrible. Man. It wasn't 266 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,280 Speaker 4: no bigger this room, like the training room was the small. 267 00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,319 Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't know that. I didn't know. 268 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,000 Speaker 4: Oh it was on hostel campus. 269 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:06,520 Speaker 3: Oh really wow, shout out to Yeah, shout out that one, 270 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 3: last great one, Tracy, Yeah, shout out. 271 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,800 Speaker 4: Oh you got a shout out? Oh board too, Raien 272 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,679 Speaker 4: with muddies. 273 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,440 Speaker 1: Okay, costume. 274 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:17,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't know that. 275 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 4: He was there. He was there when I was there, 276 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 4: like my, my, my senior, my senior year. I'm sorry. 277 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,360 Speaker 4: When I came in there as a rookie. He was 278 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,640 Speaker 4: at Hosteal. Okay, yeah, so you got something big that 279 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:30,400 Speaker 4: should be talking about. 280 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:34,199 Speaker 1: Fifteen years you've been in the league, right, it's your 281 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:37,640 Speaker 1: first welcome to the NFL moment where he was just like, damn, 282 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,640 Speaker 1: I'm in the NFL. 283 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:40,440 Speaker 2: Just the league. 284 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:42,960 Speaker 4: I think. I think it's a good moment and a 285 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 4: bad moment because I hear him both. No, I mean 286 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,959 Speaker 4: I think just the one, the one moment. Okay, let 287 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,520 Speaker 4: me go back to college first. I got to lead 288 00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 4: it to the story. So in college I lost twenty 289 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:55,560 Speaker 4: one straight games, you know, So and being the first 290 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,200 Speaker 4: round pick, you're thinking that, Okay, I my first round pick. 291 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 4: I'm going to the league and I'm gonna win. You 292 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:03,800 Speaker 4: know here with Brian, I can't be yes, I can't 293 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,560 Speaker 4: be this bad. I'm in the league. I got Vinnie 294 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:08,679 Speaker 4: Testter thirty at the time, we got, you know, and 295 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 4: I got I got Curtis Martin, like I got all 296 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,760 Speaker 4: these big name guys. I got Brian Cox, I got 297 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,880 Speaker 4: Marvin Jones, I got room. I'm like, dude, I'm gonna 298 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 4: win and I know i'mal come here and I can relax. Finally, 299 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:24,600 Speaker 4: So our first preseason game we losing. I'm crying. I'm 300 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:29,479 Speaker 4: sitting because this twenty two straight games, no this preseason. 301 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,720 Speaker 4: But you understand, bro, I lost twenty one straight games. 302 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 4: I don't think you understand. I got m VP of 303 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 4: my team my senior year, so I was the best 304 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:38,720 Speaker 4: of the worst. So you gotta understand, like I'm in it. Yeah. 305 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,440 Speaker 4: So I'm looking like so I'm sitting here on the 306 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,280 Speaker 4: bench and I'm like crying and stuff because I'm taking 307 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 4: all these games personal. At this point, I'm taking everything personally. 308 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 4: Brian Cox came up to me. He was like, Brook, 309 00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:51,440 Speaker 4: We're gonna win this game. You gotta calm down. This 310 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 4: is pre season. I'm not like man said, you don't. 311 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:58,800 Speaker 5: Get it, Bro, I hate that deep. You don't get it, bro, 312 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:03,960 Speaker 5: Like I mean, lose my whole life. I made it 313 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,880 Speaker 5: like a little sold story. But you know, after that, 314 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,440 Speaker 5: me and BC became like real good friends. But I 315 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,120 Speaker 5: think that's when I knew I was in the NFL. 316 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,840 Speaker 5: When he came and told me you was just like, look, 317 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 5: Johnny's were going in the game. The game is never over. 318 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 4: You know this is this and then helped me, and 319 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 4: it helped me now and I think I should have 320 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,200 Speaker 4: used this in life more. Can you think about how 321 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 4: many plays you played and you lost, Like I might 322 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,720 Speaker 4: have played nine thousand plays in my career and then 323 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 4: I'll let one or two plays, you know, hindry in 324 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,840 Speaker 4: my mind, think about how many games you lost, Like 325 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:35,240 Speaker 4: I paid one hundred and ninety two. I might have 326 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 4: lost ninety of them. I might have lost. I gotta 327 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:39,600 Speaker 4: do the same thing in life. You know, the three 328 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,160 Speaker 4: hundred and sixty five days that one or two days 329 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 4: you lose can't be a loss because your career is 330 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 4: a loss, like you know for me, So it took 331 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 4: a lot of stuff like after I was done to 332 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 4: get you know, like really paypoint on how many times 333 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:53,480 Speaker 4: I lost. I want to get sacks hang like a 334 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 4: thousand something plays when you're in you had like ten sacks, Bro, 335 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:58,480 Speaker 4: you ain't do nothing like what you did other nine 336 00:14:58,560 --> 00:14:59,200 Speaker 4: hundred plays. 337 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 2: If you go on from that area, you know. 338 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:05,080 Speaker 3: I had a coach named Joevit talk to me about 339 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 3: something very similar. He was like, look, football is like people, 340 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:12,600 Speaker 3: we think it's all this glory, all the great He's like, 341 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:17,400 Speaker 3: eighty five percent of football sucks. The practices, the losses, 342 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:22,840 Speaker 3: the pain, the injuries, the studying, the practice, Like, but 343 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 3: you do it all for the eight to. 344 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:26,360 Speaker 2: Ten percent of the wins. 345 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,840 Speaker 1: Like that's the sweet spot. 346 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 3: And that's what you're kind of leaning on now. It's like, 347 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,400 Speaker 3: you know that ten percent of our ball, bro, it 348 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,760 Speaker 3: changes everything. It gives you all the highs that you need. 349 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 6: We're going to take a short break and we'll be 350 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:54,640 Speaker 6: back in a minute. 351 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,520 Speaker 3: I would like to know another I want to know 352 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:02,320 Speaker 3: if you can remember this high. Do you know who 353 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 3: your first sack was against? 354 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 4: My first sack was Drew Breathe. No, I'm lying, Drew Bletso, 355 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 4: Drew blets So, Drew bless So it was actually because 356 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,200 Speaker 4: I'm like, my memory is terrible. I was talking about this. 357 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:24,160 Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. I sit here like, you know, 358 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,160 Speaker 4: you had me thinking, I'm like, who was my first sack? Yeah, 359 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,920 Speaker 4: but it was. It was good because Sean had a sack. Also, 360 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 4: me and Sean Ellis we played in that same game. 361 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,400 Speaker 4: Both of us had a sack in the same game. 362 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 4: And Sean was like my brother, man, like, how y'all 363 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:37,240 Speaker 4: too close? 364 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 2: Like this? 365 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 4: I love seeing stuff like this because I don't have 366 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,520 Speaker 4: a I don't have a friend like that, you know, 367 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 4: somebody that like from the league. I got friends like 368 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 4: to you know, kill and stuff like that. But she's like, 369 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,880 Speaker 4: I love to see the you know, just to come 370 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,640 Speaker 4: riding between two guys like I love that show, man, 371 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,560 Speaker 4: I love a little more. Let me little got that show, 372 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,640 Speaker 4: you know. So it's good stuff that I like to 373 00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,360 Speaker 4: see like that. But me and Sean came in together 374 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,400 Speaker 4: and you know, and him getting the sack and me 375 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,240 Speaker 4: getting the sack at the same time. Was like, you know, 376 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,360 Speaker 4: I thought our career was going to be like man, 377 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 4: both of us going into all the things we doing it. Oh, 378 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:10,840 Speaker 4: we gonna we're gonna be amazing. Like, you know, there's 379 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,440 Speaker 4: no stuff change it does. 380 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 2: That's life. 381 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:13,359 Speaker 4: Yeah. 382 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:17,920 Speaker 1: So Thursday they announce on honors the twenty twenty four 383 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:23,119 Speaker 1: class Hall of Fame. So it was Dwight Freeney, Randy grad, 384 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:27,720 Speaker 1: deaschar Devin Hester, Andre Johnson, Steve McMichael, Julius Pepper, and 385 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,719 Speaker 1: Patrick Wallace. My question you was, what do you think 386 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 1: about that class? 387 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 4: It's a beautiful class. I think the only thing that 388 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:37,560 Speaker 4: hurts me is that white Frannie. We got the same numbers. 389 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,880 Speaker 3: There, it is, that's and it is. Hold on, let's 390 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,479 Speaker 3: talk about it. How many sacks do you have? One 391 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 3: hundred and thirty three and a half. I'm not even 392 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:45,800 Speaker 3: going to you don't need to fill outfield with the 393 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,760 Speaker 3: blank for you, it's a line one hundred and thirty 394 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 3: three and a half sacks. You have the numbers the 395 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:55,399 Speaker 3: fifteen years and so I understand you're hurt. I would 396 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 3: love to hear why why do you feel hurt or 397 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 3: why do you feel like you're not getting the same love. 398 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:06,240 Speaker 4: Well, I know it's strictly because my media worked. First 399 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:09,159 Speaker 4: of all, you know, I didn't do a lot of 400 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,120 Speaker 4: things when I was when I played, I just wanted 401 00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:14,199 Speaker 4: the media guy. You know, you know, the media has 402 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 4: a lot to do with how that perception comes when 403 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,880 Speaker 4: you're done playing. You know, like it's easier to transition 404 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,000 Speaker 4: when you have people that you can strike, talk to 405 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:24,680 Speaker 4: and everything. But also you know, championships. He had a ring. 406 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,240 Speaker 4: I think he was a player of the year. You know, 407 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 4: he led the league in sacks. You know, I never 408 00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 4: let the league sacks, never was a player of the year. 409 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,080 Speaker 4: I just baked, you know, I just balled. You know, 410 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:37,160 Speaker 4: I can say that double digit sacks. I have eight 411 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,520 Speaker 4: years of that, two years, nine and a half, so 412 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:44,159 Speaker 4: almost ten years of double digit sacks. I played one 413 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,040 Speaker 4: hundred and ninety two games. A lot of guys played 414 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 4: over two hundred, and their numbers are maybe this far 415 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,560 Speaker 4: away from me, you know what I mean. And if 416 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:54,040 Speaker 4: you think about one hundred and nine two games on 417 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 4: twelve years, So in my mind, I feel really lost 418 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:02,119 Speaker 4: because I'm like, dude, if you never got hurt. So 419 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,320 Speaker 4: it took me a long time to get over that situation. 420 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,399 Speaker 4: So I'm happy for the d white though. Yeah, but 421 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,960 Speaker 4: it also showed me that I was I am a 422 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 4: Hall of Famer. I'm like to think about it. If you're 423 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:14,280 Speaker 4: putting in forty games, oh my god, Like the numbers 424 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,920 Speaker 4: would have been like Okay, even if I wouldn't have 425 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,959 Speaker 4: made it, then I still got to say, John, from 426 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,119 Speaker 4: where you came from, from a small town Tensville, South Carolina, 427 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,440 Speaker 4: playing on twenty two twenty people one year of high 428 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 4: school football, losing dang twenty one straight games in college, 429 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 4: being a first round pick every time you got hurt, 430 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:35,080 Speaker 4: like every year I got hurt itself from my last 431 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:36,359 Speaker 4: year in the league. I came back and made the 432 00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:39,080 Speaker 4: Pro Bowl. So it's a lot of stuff that I 433 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:40,840 Speaker 4: had to start patting myself on the back, you know, 434 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,200 Speaker 4: because you know, people don't care, Like you know, once 435 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 4: you're out of the shadow, they ain't gonna look for 436 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:46,680 Speaker 4: you no more. Like if y'all didn't have this right now, 437 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 4: people know your name is p Up, but they won't 438 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,840 Speaker 4: care about how good you was or how you punched 439 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,600 Speaker 4: the ball. They were like, I don't remember him. You 440 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 4: could walk out there if you didn't have your show. 441 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,240 Speaker 4: You can walk down people walk right by you and 442 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 4: not say anything. And you know, it's it's all about 443 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 4: the you know. I guess for me personally, it had 444 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,040 Speaker 4: to be about like, dude, you got to start giving 445 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,000 Speaker 4: yourself gratification. 446 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:04,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. 447 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,720 Speaker 4: I was always worrying about what I didn't do compared 448 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 4: to what I did. I'm like, dude, you did all 449 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 4: this like I was. I was number nine in sacks 450 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:16,679 Speaker 4: when I when I retired, and this this is missing 451 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 4: thirty games. I said, how are you going to be 452 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,120 Speaker 4: mad at yourself about that? You know, instead of being 453 00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:23,640 Speaker 4: proud of like what you a comment? Because, like I said, 454 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:27,160 Speaker 4: I came from Timersville, South Carolina. Like literally nobody ever 455 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 4: from Timersville, South Carolina made it to the league. Lamar 456 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,800 Speaker 4: South Carolina. Yes, we had Laviron Kirky, I was second 457 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,560 Speaker 4: after him, but nobody ever made it, Like I'm the 458 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:35,920 Speaker 4: only person that ever did that. And I got to 459 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,679 Speaker 4: start patting myself on the back for the stuff I 460 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,119 Speaker 4: did accomplish while I was in the NFL compared to 461 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:41,560 Speaker 4: what you didn't. 462 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,000 Speaker 1: You know what I mean, How proud are you of 463 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:47,359 Speaker 1: yourself considering that? I mean, you had a phenomenal career 464 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,440 Speaker 1: you just said. In my opinion, I think we can 465 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 1: agree you had a Hall of Fame career. How proud 466 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,160 Speaker 1: of you of yourself considering the fact that you only 467 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,720 Speaker 1: played one year of high school football? 468 00:20:56,480 --> 00:21:00,280 Speaker 4: Like I told you, man, like honestly, U and I 469 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,320 Speaker 4: think everybody kind of knows it. Now. I've been doing 470 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:06,600 Speaker 4: treatment for four years, working on treatment, and now I'm 471 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,879 Speaker 4: starting to get gratification. When I was done though, because 472 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,680 Speaker 4: I got hurt and oh you're bleeding on both side 473 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:13,960 Speaker 4: of your brain, I'm like, day, I'm gonna be a 474 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 4: play no more. I said, first of all, it's fifteen years. 475 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,680 Speaker 4: Bro ain't nobody because I still remember going And it's 476 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,960 Speaker 4: crazy because my memory is so spotty. But some things 477 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,720 Speaker 4: that using the negative stuff you can remember, but all 478 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 4: this stuff you can't. Yes, yes, it makes no sense. 479 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,800 Speaker 4: But I remember coming into Bruce Aaron's office and I 480 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 4: was crying, and I was crying. I was like, Bruce, 481 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 4: I don't think I could do it anymore. He was 482 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,040 Speaker 4: like John Just and I always had my coaches like 483 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:40,840 Speaker 4: Bruce Mike Smith. Those are two guys that if you 484 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 4: ever got to play under these guys man like, they 485 00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:48,119 Speaker 4: are real men. Like, it's never it's never a job fan, 486 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,200 Speaker 4: it's never a job like. It's always personal. Like when 487 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,879 Speaker 4: I said, he cares about, like what's going on with you? 488 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:54,000 Speaker 2: Now? 489 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:55,560 Speaker 4: If you terrible player and you ain't doing. 490 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:56,119 Speaker 2: That, you can get that. 491 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:57,960 Speaker 4: You know, he gonna like bye bye, but if he 492 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,440 Speaker 4: said it, but he's like, you know, John, just just 493 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,719 Speaker 4: just try to come back out this year. Just come 494 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 4: because we don't like I need you and da da 495 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,399 Speaker 4: da day. And I was like, I'm gonna come out there, 496 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,760 Speaker 4: and I ended up getting hurt and then I ended 497 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,160 Speaker 4: up seeing how bad I was. So he actually helped 498 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,520 Speaker 4: me more than hurt me, because if I'd been walking 499 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,040 Speaker 4: around like with my mind like this and not knowing. 500 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,600 Speaker 4: So I'm like, dude, that actually helped me. So I 501 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,399 Speaker 4: always got a lot of gratitude for you know, Bah, 502 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:23,720 Speaker 4: just for him and a man I'm talking about. These 503 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:27,840 Speaker 4: guys really just helped me become a better person now, 504 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,600 Speaker 4: like now looking back, like John, because I always felt 505 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,919 Speaker 4: like I was a loner from coming in the league, 506 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,679 Speaker 4: you know, being like, you know, some people went to 507 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:41,560 Speaker 4: colleges that they already had stars. I had Sterling Shark, 508 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 4: but Sterling Shark was so far gone so I couldn't 509 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 4: really talk to him. So when I got into the league, 510 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 4: I felt like I was by myself, so it was 511 00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:50,000 Speaker 4: hard for me to go like hang with this person 512 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:51,480 Speaker 4: or go with this person. Like when I went to 513 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,720 Speaker 4: pro Bos, I stay in my own, not because a 514 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,200 Speaker 4: lot of times I just felt like I was out 515 00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:00,119 Speaker 4: of character, like this ain't the same my thing, Like like, 516 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,000 Speaker 4: I'm not a football player. You know. I don't know 517 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:03,719 Speaker 4: if y'all went through it, but how many times you're 518 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,280 Speaker 4: gonna meet somebody and they'll be like, oh, you're a 519 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,919 Speaker 4: football player. I can't talk to you. Oh you're this, 520 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:09,960 Speaker 4: I can't message you, or this, this and this, And 521 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:13,159 Speaker 4: it became so repetitive in my mind that and I 522 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 4: even had coaches tell me, you know, you're a football player. 523 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,879 Speaker 4: I'm like, dude, I was. I did a lot of 524 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 4: other stuff in life besides this. I'm a father, you know, 525 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:26,400 Speaker 4: my man, I'm a son, I'm a dad. Like there's 526 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,879 Speaker 4: so much stuff that I've done in life. And when 527 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,960 Speaker 4: people start betraying me as just a football player, I 528 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,400 Speaker 4: started believing it. And then by time I was done 529 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,880 Speaker 4: that when football was gone, I was going. I was gone. 530 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,120 Speaker 4: I was gone. When football was gone, I was gone. 531 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:42,840 Speaker 4: And I can't even lie to myself and say that 532 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,479 Speaker 4: I was great. No I was not. But but but 533 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,840 Speaker 4: you know now it's like, nah, like we are you crazy? 534 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,120 Speaker 4: Like I can juggle, I can do sign language now 535 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:54,320 Speaker 4: because I got this free time. Yeah, I'm did so. 536 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 4: The sign language is fun. And I was doing this 537 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,679 Speaker 4: before Metcalf, And that's what kind of pissed me off 538 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 4: because I'm looking like, man, they're gonna think I'll start 539 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,000 Speaker 4: doing this because and also I'm back in school now, 540 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,280 Speaker 4: I'm trying to get my I'm trying to finish my degree. 541 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,719 Speaker 4: So it's a lot of other things that what you're 542 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:11,639 Speaker 4: trying to get your degree in sociology. So but my 543 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,560 Speaker 4: thing was I had to start do for like six 544 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,919 Speaker 4: seven years, all idea was beat up on myself. I 545 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 4: never thought that I could do anything else, and I 546 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,359 Speaker 4: laid on my failues and not my success, on my gratitude. 547 00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:26,960 Speaker 4: You know. I was just like, man, what's going on? 548 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:28,960 Speaker 4: Like now, I'm looking like, man, if I would have 549 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 4: did this fourteen years ago, ten years ago, but instead 550 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,320 Speaker 4: of doing that, I'm saying, what are you gonna do 551 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,720 Speaker 4: today to make yourself better? Yes, like even coming here, 552 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,520 Speaker 4: you had asked me to do this like five six 553 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,240 Speaker 4: years ago. No, you know, working with Tracy and working 554 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,639 Speaker 4: with a lot of people in the NFL that I 555 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,399 Speaker 4: thought there was not good people because you hear so 556 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:50,520 Speaker 4: many stories compared to getting to know the people you know, like, oh, well, 557 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,879 Speaker 4: you know Peanut them they got this show because of this. 558 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,639 Speaker 4: You know, romingdam got this show because of this. But 559 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,399 Speaker 4: now I was like, what the work y'all put in? 560 00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,159 Speaker 4: And you know a lot of the stuff that we 561 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:00,919 Speaker 4: don't hear about, a lot of stuff that you have 562 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,800 Speaker 4: to go through. You don't just be like handed out. 563 00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:06,280 Speaker 4: And then also you got to think about it, how 564 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,000 Speaker 4: hard I work to get there? So John, if you 565 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,040 Speaker 4: want to be better, how hard are you gonna work 566 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,920 Speaker 4: to be better? Compared to sitting there and just taking it? 567 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,240 Speaker 4: Like I used to sit in my house and just 568 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,280 Speaker 4: take all the negative stuff because like I think, my 569 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,639 Speaker 4: friend told me one time, a bird fly by you 570 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,439 Speaker 4: and he poop on you. Are you gonna move? Are 571 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,480 Speaker 4: you gonna keep letting them poop on you? And I 572 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,679 Speaker 4: was like, he said, that's how your thoughts are. If 573 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,240 Speaker 4: you sit there and let your thoughts, you gotta move. 574 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,520 Speaker 4: Like you can understand that thought was just a bird 575 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,320 Speaker 4: flying back. If you see something negative coming from that bird, 576 00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:37,600 Speaker 4: you move out the way. Same thing with your thoughts. 577 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:39,840 Speaker 4: And I was like, bro, I needed that. And it's 578 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:41,919 Speaker 4: crazy like small things that people will tell you and 579 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,520 Speaker 4: it'll stick with you. And I was like, and even now, 580 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 4: like I just work on mine because I still have 581 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:47,880 Speaker 4: the negative thoughts. 582 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:54,280 Speaker 3: Like listening to you talk, you really needed to have 583 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:58,359 Speaker 3: this time to grow this transition for you post NFL career, 584 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 3: because that's what we came here to talk talk about. 585 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 3: It's really the second act. And so everybody's second act 586 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,080 Speaker 3: starts differently, feels a little bit differently, it has to 587 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,320 Speaker 3: be executed a little bit differently. For you, it seems 588 00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:13,280 Speaker 3: that you really need to have to go back in 589 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:17,960 Speaker 3: your second journey, go back some chapters and really clean 590 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:21,200 Speaker 3: those things up and understand a lot the why and 591 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:23,760 Speaker 3: maybe apologize to yourself. 592 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:24,920 Speaker 4: Oh I did all that, you know what I'm saying. 593 00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:28,080 Speaker 4: And also a lot of this stuff wasn't even problems. 594 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,800 Speaker 4: It was just it wasn't problems. It was just made 595 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,200 Speaker 4: up stuff in your head because you start stacking stuff 596 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,240 Speaker 4: like because I'll tell you one thing that about me 597 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:37,360 Speaker 4: when I played football, I don't know, I know y'all 598 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:39,600 Speaker 4: probably the same way. I didn't want no emmy mental 599 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,360 Speaker 4: heror I got a million air of my rookie year. 600 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:44,520 Speaker 4: So I used to be in the books. So if 601 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,120 Speaker 4: I get a mind I would never watch my good 602 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:50,119 Speaker 4: plays when I played. I never watched my good plays. 603 00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:51,600 Speaker 4: Like if I like, let's say, if I messed up, 604 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,159 Speaker 4: if I lined up wrong, you will see me in 605 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 4: the meeting room just sitting there watching my plays, watch 606 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,480 Speaker 4: my plate. Like I just go on Wednesday and Thursday 607 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,600 Speaker 4: always so I knew everything. I just go by myself, 608 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:02,560 Speaker 4: like you know, eight nine o'clock instead of going out, 609 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,760 Speaker 4: I eight nine o'clock, I go watch me and I watched. 610 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:06,480 Speaker 4: But I was sit there and watch all my bad 611 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,960 Speaker 4: plays and not watch my good plays. That's how I 612 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,080 Speaker 4: messed up in life because it transitioned into life. So 613 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,320 Speaker 4: all my mind, all my mind used to playing back. 614 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,560 Speaker 4: It was, you know, negative stuff. All this happened. Okay, 615 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,280 Speaker 4: that's when I was telling y'all earlier about you played 616 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,080 Speaker 4: all these plays. You might have missed that sack, but 617 00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:25,080 Speaker 4: you came back to get another sack. Why you ain't 618 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,240 Speaker 4: doing it in life? You might have missed this opportunity. 619 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:28,680 Speaker 4: When you ain't coming back and do this opportunity. You 620 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,280 Speaker 4: still here? Ain't you went dang cut you, God came 621 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,080 Speaker 4: to got you. You're still here. You're still on the team. 622 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:33,480 Speaker 2: Boss. 623 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 4: You're starting to so to let me get out and 624 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,120 Speaker 4: do stuff. So but you know, it's a lot of things, 625 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:41,920 Speaker 4: like you said, looking at your past, and I was like, Dad, 626 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,360 Speaker 4: that was one thing. And also I talked with two 627 00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,960 Speaker 4: with them, A big thing was getting a better relationship 628 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,800 Speaker 4: with my mom. This is a post thing we're talking about. 629 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,560 Speaker 4: So getting a better relationship with my mom. Because my 630 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:57,120 Speaker 4: mom was a Christian, she uh holding this lady, so 631 00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,359 Speaker 4: she didn't believe in a lot of flashy stuff. Like 632 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 4: the reason why I never, like try to be too 633 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,080 Speaker 4: flashed even though I was outside of football. You know, 634 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:05,400 Speaker 4: I didn't flashy stuff because I thought that you. 635 00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:07,240 Speaker 2: Told us you played because because you want to be smooth. 636 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:08,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, but I thought I thought it was you know, 637 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,720 Speaker 4: a lot of stuff, a lot of negative stuff I 638 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:12,640 Speaker 4: did in my life. I thought it was portraying being 639 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,399 Speaker 4: a man because I had a and I never had 640 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:16,600 Speaker 4: a real role model. So when I came into league, 641 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:18,480 Speaker 4: like when I was in college, I didn't drink, I 642 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,880 Speaker 4: didn't smoke, I didn't go out of anything. So when 643 00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 4: I got to the league, I wanted to hang with 644 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,480 Speaker 4: the boys. So put like this, I rather wish I 645 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:27,720 Speaker 4: take that back. I do appreciate everybody I came to 646 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,800 Speaker 4: league with. But if I came to league with y'all, 647 00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,760 Speaker 4: I would think my career might have been different, Like 648 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,320 Speaker 4: if I would have chose to hang with Curtis Martin, 649 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,720 Speaker 4: you know, instead of Briancotts. And I'm not knocking Brian 650 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,720 Speaker 4: Bryan to himself. Brian told me he was like, man, 651 00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:42,959 Speaker 4: I wish I had never got you drinking, And I 652 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:44,800 Speaker 4: was like, you're right. I said, well, you know we're 653 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,200 Speaker 4: over now, but you know I love it. I still 654 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,720 Speaker 4: love him to death though, because he's the same one 655 00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:50,120 Speaker 4: that stayed after practice and helped me do work on 656 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,320 Speaker 4: my helps. He didn't want to work work on my hands. 657 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,400 Speaker 4: So for me, it was more like if I want 658 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:55,520 Speaker 4: to be good, if I want to hang on my 659 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,160 Speaker 4: you know, my team, and I want to be a leader. 660 00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 4: I want to do everything they're doing correct, you know 661 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,280 Speaker 4: what I mean, So you know it's not a bad 662 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:03,640 Speaker 4: thing now, and like looking like you know, at one point, 663 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 4: I was just like why this, Why this? Why this? 664 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:08,360 Speaker 4: I'm like, man, why not? I mean, it's over now, 665 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,520 Speaker 4: I do that was twenty years ago. Like anything you 666 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,520 Speaker 4: do now, John, though, you gotta hold yourself accountable. You 667 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:16,360 Speaker 4: can't say, oh, I shouldn't have did this with him, 668 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:19,040 Speaker 4: or I shouldn't did it. No, yeah, I knew better 669 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,360 Speaker 4: than But it was just like I wanted to be. 670 00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:23,840 Speaker 4: Think about Like when I came in the Leader, it 671 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:25,680 Speaker 4: was like, Bro, you're gonna be like Lawrence Taylor, You're 672 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,320 Speaker 4: gonna be like this. I'm like Lawrence Taylor was a 673 00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:30,200 Speaker 4: wild boy. Well, Brian Cox is a wild boy, you know. 674 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:31,800 Speaker 4: So a lot of my people. I was looking at 675 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,240 Speaker 4: this wild boys like I want to be a wild 676 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:36,360 Speaker 4: boy too. So I felt like I had to keep 677 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:39,040 Speaker 4: doing the same stuff. You know, you have different you know, 678 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:43,360 Speaker 4: role models. Think about Kobe would have been Kobe without Jordan, right, 679 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,160 Speaker 4: So I'm looking at this is how I got to 680 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,640 Speaker 4: be to play like that. 681 00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:48,720 Speaker 2: I want to that. 682 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:51,120 Speaker 4: I want people to talk about John Abraham off the field, 683 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 4: how they talk about LT you know, I want to 684 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,160 Speaker 4: he climbed up a building? What, oh, look like he 685 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:58,640 Speaker 4: did that he did in college. That's already he climbed 686 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,280 Speaker 4: up building college. I'm like, sure, I want wanted to 687 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:01,600 Speaker 4: do I wanted all to smoke. You know what I'm 688 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,160 Speaker 4: saying at that time because I was young, you know 689 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:04,560 Speaker 4: what I'm saying but you know, the older you get 690 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:07,160 Speaker 4: and then you get bad habits, and then you push 691 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:09,080 Speaker 4: yourself from further from people that you want to be 692 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:11,240 Speaker 4: close to, right, you know what I mean? Like, so, 693 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:12,760 Speaker 4: you know, like I had the people there, you know, 694 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 4: I had Benny testing thirty, I had Champenity with y'all 695 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:16,920 Speaker 4: know where it well. So I had people that I 696 00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:20,360 Speaker 4: could have really been in line with, but I chose 697 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,920 Speaker 4: the prior. I'm mean, the you know the other. 698 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:27,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, so I know we retired. I'm a year older 699 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,920 Speaker 1: than you as far as my retirement. Don't give me 700 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,120 Speaker 1: that look, because that's what I'm year older. He looked older, 701 00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:32,760 Speaker 1: That's what that's all. 702 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,280 Speaker 2: I uh, you're way. 703 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:39,920 Speaker 1: Older than anyway. Rome took three hundred and sixty five 704 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,160 Speaker 1: days off after he retired, and I was like the 705 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,960 Speaker 1: complete opposite. Like I got into a job immediately right away. 706 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:49,800 Speaker 1: My question to you is, what did you do your 707 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:51,000 Speaker 1: first year in retirement? 708 00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,920 Speaker 4: Okay, I'm gonna give you what I can give you. Okay, So, 709 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,320 Speaker 4: like I told you, I had a head injury, and 710 00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:58,120 Speaker 4: I had it. You know, they said I was bleeding 711 00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,840 Speaker 4: on both sides of my brain. I didn't think I 712 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:04,360 Speaker 4: was gonna be around for this. So I didn't plan 713 00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,200 Speaker 4: to be forty five. I didn't plan to be I 714 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:10,560 Speaker 4: was planning, uh you know, just you know, I just 715 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,000 Speaker 4: didn't have it. I didn't have a plan, but I 716 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:12,760 Speaker 4: did tell myself. 717 00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:12,840 Speaker 2: I do. 718 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,000 Speaker 4: Remember, I told myself, I'm get myself five years after 719 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:21,800 Speaker 4: football just to heal personally because shoulder growing, uh head injury. Now, 720 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,720 Speaker 4: so I said I need five years. I'm gonna need 721 00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,440 Speaker 4: five years, and five years came like in three days. 722 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:28,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, that happens really fast, because. 723 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,360 Speaker 4: You said you took a year, and I'm like, at that, man, I. 724 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:32,600 Speaker 2: Know, it was like it happened fast. 725 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I saw myself five and then 726 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,560 Speaker 4: I woke up in twenty twenty and it was like, dude, 727 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:41,080 Speaker 4: it's been like eight years. I'm like, John, you gotta 728 00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:44,320 Speaker 4: tighten up, like you know, I started, like this time 729 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,840 Speaker 4: went so fast, Like you gotta tighten up. You gotta 730 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:47,920 Speaker 4: do something with yourself. 731 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,200 Speaker 3: So what was the plan to what were you going 732 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,320 Speaker 3: to accomplish in five years? 733 00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:53,600 Speaker 4: I'm gonna tell you what happened. 734 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:54,480 Speaker 2: I said. 735 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:58,920 Speaker 4: It was just like it was it was okay, okay. 736 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:02,120 Speaker 4: At the time, I had real estate already, you know, 737 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,000 Speaker 4: at the time, you know, I had I had a 738 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,360 Speaker 4: lot of stuff going on that was good and well 739 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 4: I thought was good, you know what I mean, But 740 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,600 Speaker 4: then you start retracting. But honestly was it was mainly 741 00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,360 Speaker 4: because of the brain thing though. It was it was 742 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:17,920 Speaker 4: like I went through a lot of stuff that I 743 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:20,880 Speaker 4: didn't believe when I heard it from other people, you know, 744 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,160 Speaker 4: like you hear about people doing this in your mind, 745 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,080 Speaker 4: thinking this and this and this. I didn't believe that 746 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:28,160 Speaker 4: was true. I thought a lot. Yeah, But then you know, 747 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:31,480 Speaker 4: when it started happening, you know, you know, I started 748 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:34,400 Speaker 4: losing stuff. You know, I started not knowing where I 749 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:36,200 Speaker 4: was sometime. I started going through a lot of the 750 00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:38,240 Speaker 4: phases of stuff, you know, not being able to sleep. 751 00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:41,520 Speaker 4: I played football all up until twenty twenty one because 752 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:44,640 Speaker 4: I used to wake up every night like literally like 753 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 4: I'm about to go to practice like this seriously, like 754 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:48,520 Speaker 4: I used to. I used to get up and I'll 755 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:52,640 Speaker 4: be walking to you know, I started laughing and I 756 00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,040 Speaker 4: started getting so used to it, and then it was 757 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,080 Speaker 4: it's like embarrassing, Like to me, it was embarrassing because 758 00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:00,520 Speaker 4: people didn't know about it. So I went tell people 759 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:01,800 Speaker 4: about it because I didn't. I didn't want to be 760 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:05,120 Speaker 4: another oh he's and then I thought people thinking, well 761 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:08,120 Speaker 4: I think I'm faking. Yeah, you know, like he's probably faking. 762 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,280 Speaker 4: You know that. You know when people start throwing and 763 00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:14,360 Speaker 4: it's tough because when you try to be vulnerable and 764 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,200 Speaker 4: people start throwing it back in your face, the rage 765 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:22,280 Speaker 4: that you feel is like unsurmounted, especially when it's people 766 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:25,680 Speaker 4: you're trusting, like, well, you know you. I always knew 767 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:29,080 Speaker 4: something wrong with you, nothing wrong before I started like 768 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:30,840 Speaker 4: why is something wrong with now? Like nothing wrong with me? 769 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:32,800 Speaker 4: But also I had to had to get to a 770 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,600 Speaker 4: certain point that I got tired of myself. I remember, 771 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:37,720 Speaker 4: like I hear people say when they look in the mirror, 772 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,400 Speaker 4: they don't see theirself. I lived in the mirror one day, man, 773 00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,760 Speaker 4: I ain't knew who it was like, and it was 774 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:44,600 Speaker 4: just like like I don't even know who this is. 775 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:48,440 Speaker 4: And I'm like, God, what's wrong? And I said, you 776 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:52,680 Speaker 4: know what, it's time like like you hear and you 777 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:54,920 Speaker 4: know that. That's when I started really putting myself back 778 00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,760 Speaker 4: into being a father. I started putting myself. I think 779 00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:00,280 Speaker 4: the biggest thing I did, man, And every time I 780 00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:02,080 Speaker 4: think about this, it was the smartest thing I ever 781 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:05,040 Speaker 4: did in my life, because they told me about childhood trauma. 782 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:07,000 Speaker 4: And so even though my mom used to beat me 783 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,719 Speaker 4: a lot, you know, and uh, you know, she did 784 00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:11,520 Speaker 4: a lot of stuff that you know, hurt me, but 785 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:15,160 Speaker 4: I never told her. I never told her. But also 786 00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:18,040 Speaker 4: being an adult, understanding that she's a single mom and 787 00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:21,000 Speaker 4: that's how she was raised, and then understanding her her 788 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,120 Speaker 4: going through her trauma with her, Like literally, I went 789 00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:26,120 Speaker 4: through her trauma with her. Like I talked to my mom, 790 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:29,000 Speaker 4: my daughter, my oldest daughter, my mom because I put 791 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,200 Speaker 4: a lot of trauma on my oldest daughter. All three 792 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:33,120 Speaker 4: of us got on the phone. You know, we got 793 00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:38,000 Speaker 4: FaceTime because my daughter's in school Clemson. But I'm like whatever, 794 00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:39,640 Speaker 4: she's going to be a nurse, so I'm happy, you know. 795 00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:44,160 Speaker 4: So I'm just saying, I'm like, yeah, yeah, her mom 796 00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:47,160 Speaker 4: went to exact line. So we went there, and uh, 797 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:49,879 Speaker 4: I went. I went down. I told him exactly how 798 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,080 Speaker 4: I feel. I told him like everything, and I told 799 00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,120 Speaker 4: my daughter why I wasn't there. I told my mom. 800 00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:56,359 Speaker 4: I I asked my mom the same question. I told 801 00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,400 Speaker 4: my mom to tell my daughter why this. She went 802 00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:01,640 Speaker 4: and it was just like great, but it's something that 803 00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:03,800 Speaker 4: we can talk about. Me and my mom the whole 804 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,239 Speaker 4: time I was alive, we never had conversations like this 805 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,160 Speaker 4: because she was like, that's not how I said, Mam, Look, 806 00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:11,840 Speaker 4: I need this from you. I said, I need this 807 00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:13,879 Speaker 4: from I was like, Mom, because my mam will tell 808 00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:15,640 Speaker 4: me she proud of me. Now. She never told me 809 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:20,480 Speaker 4: that before. And it sounds like really simple and you're 810 00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,080 Speaker 4: grown man like, like why do you feel that way? Tom? 811 00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:24,719 Speaker 4: You know, like, but I'm like, no, I need that 812 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:26,719 Speaker 4: from my mom. Like the reason why, the reason why 813 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,719 Speaker 4: I can't go through stuff because my gratification, the person 814 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,719 Speaker 4: that I loved the most used to hurt me the most. 815 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,080 Speaker 6: Yeah, we're going to take a short break and we'll 816 00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:38,920 Speaker 6: be back in a minute. 817 00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:54,960 Speaker 3: And So the one thing I get out of this, 818 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,080 Speaker 3: and I've heard this from others, and number one. 819 00:35:57,000 --> 00:36:00,239 Speaker 2: Is that hurt people. Hurt people, you know what I mean, Like, 820 00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:02,040 Speaker 2: that's very common. 821 00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:07,480 Speaker 3: I applaud you for seeking help and understanding that the 822 00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,839 Speaker 3: childhood trauma that you went through, then trying to make 823 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:12,719 Speaker 3: sure I go and talk to my mom and then 824 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,840 Speaker 3: she seeks that right and really opening up those things. 825 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,400 Speaker 3: A Number one I applaud you for that. The question 826 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:22,080 Speaker 3: I have though, is when did you find and seek help? 827 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:25,160 Speaker 3: Like what was that moment when you looked in that mirror? 828 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:26,680 Speaker 3: Who did you see? 829 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,960 Speaker 4: You knows what made you go. My sister tells me 830 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:31,680 Speaker 4: to lead a story alone, but I think, you know, 831 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,799 Speaker 4: just talking about it fine with me, because once you're 832 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:37,000 Speaker 4: over something, yeah, you can kind of talk about it 833 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,520 Speaker 4: and it don't bother you. But basically, just had one 834 00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:43,319 Speaker 4: of those suicidal moments and I try to go for 835 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:46,960 Speaker 4: a cops gun and because I couldn't really do it myself, 836 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:48,719 Speaker 4: Like it was just like this is the perfect thing. 837 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,480 Speaker 4: I was at the hospital. I was going through a 838 00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:53,600 Speaker 4: ten thirteen again, which is suicidal thoughts, Like I had 839 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:55,920 Speaker 4: a lot of you know, actually had a lot of 840 00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:59,120 Speaker 4: but I got in there, I got in that bed 841 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:02,680 Speaker 4: and I and I told myself, I'm really That's when 842 00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:04,640 Speaker 4: I knew I was really bad, Like because you know, 843 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,239 Speaker 4: I had the thoughts, but I was like, you went, 844 00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:10,120 Speaker 4: you did it like you did it, like you did it. 845 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:11,719 Speaker 4: You knew that you knew what was going to happen, 846 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:14,200 Speaker 4: and you did it. You was just blessed that nothing happened. 847 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:20,000 Speaker 4: And I told myself, I was like God, if you 848 00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:23,160 Speaker 4: start helping me mentally, like I don't want nothing else. 849 00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,040 Speaker 4: I don't want nothing else, Like I don't care about 850 00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:26,680 Speaker 4: no money, I don't care about no cars. To trust 851 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:29,280 Speaker 4: me when you going through stuff like that, No that matters. 852 00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,800 Speaker 4: I said, I'll stop drinking because I knew that was 853 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 4: one of my bad habits. I said, I'll stop drinking. 854 00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:37,080 Speaker 4: I never drink again if you start helping mensing That 855 00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:42,680 Speaker 4: next day, mentally, everything started coming mentally. When I was 856 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:44,879 Speaker 4: in there, little ten thirteen, somebody was sitting here talking 857 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:46,440 Speaker 4: to me, and somebody else was sitting here talking to me, 858 00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:48,120 Speaker 4: and I still had a suicidal thoughts, and I was 859 00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:50,319 Speaker 4: scared to tell everybody. I just kept saying I was dual, 860 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,879 Speaker 4: and I didn't know duel meant you like you got 861 00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:55,080 Speaker 4: two things wrong with you. But I thought was just like, okay, 862 00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,920 Speaker 4: I'm dual. But you know, it was just like I 863 00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,879 Speaker 4: didn't want to say I was suicidal. It was hard 864 00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:01,680 Speaker 4: to It was hard to face the fact that this 865 00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:03,480 Speaker 4: is what it came to. You know what I'm saying. 866 00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:05,040 Speaker 4: It was just hard to face the fact. So when 867 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:08,480 Speaker 4: I finally came to it like now, and I started 868 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:10,759 Speaker 4: coming to things like this to see y'all got y'all 869 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:12,920 Speaker 4: don't even understand. I saw y'all in the Super Bowl, 870 00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:14,960 Speaker 4: not Super Bowl, so I saw y'all at the draft 871 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:16,480 Speaker 4: and I wanted to speak to y'all then when I 872 00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,279 Speaker 4: ain't had the confidence at the time. But that's just 873 00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:20,319 Speaker 4: how I am. That's how I am. That's how I 874 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:22,279 Speaker 4: am with a lot of stuff in life, you know 875 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:24,319 Speaker 4: what I'm saying. But now like facing my confidence and 876 00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:27,280 Speaker 4: stuff because when I see strong black men like y'all, 877 00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:30,160 Speaker 4: it makes me feel like I ain't did enough and 878 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:31,719 Speaker 4: it's not and it is a praise. This is not 879 00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,600 Speaker 4: a knock. This is a praise because I love to 880 00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:37,200 Speaker 4: see my I love to see all that. But I'm like, dang, John, 881 00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:38,600 Speaker 4: you got to work on yourself cause that's how you 882 00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:40,719 Speaker 4: want to look too. So I'm saying, I'm telling y'all, 883 00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:42,920 Speaker 4: this is something that's positive to me. But it took 884 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:46,680 Speaker 4: me a while because, like I said, me coming from Timersville, 885 00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:50,799 Speaker 4: South Carolina, being on the losing ten, you know, like 886 00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:52,920 Speaker 4: not even being in the Hall of Fame. Yet, what 887 00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:55,319 Speaker 4: do I got to talk about? Like, you know, what's 888 00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,279 Speaker 4: my you know, like if I had the Hall of 889 00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:00,160 Speaker 4: fame now, But hey, what on y'all, y'all get I 890 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:03,279 Speaker 4: had a super Bowl ring, I could do all that. 891 00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:05,399 Speaker 4: But for me, like I had, I had so high 892 00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:08,239 Speaker 4: standards for myself and I didn't reach them because you know, 893 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,880 Speaker 4: some people just happen to be in the league. I 894 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,359 Speaker 4: was like, man, I want a super Bowl, Like Pro 895 00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,000 Speaker 4: Bowls didn't mean nothing to me. All pro didn't mean 896 00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:17,759 Speaker 4: nothing to me. I want to be a winner because 897 00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:19,520 Speaker 4: I know for a fact if I win, Like if 898 00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:22,120 Speaker 4: you win the super Bowl, you get one good play 899 00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,600 Speaker 4: in the super Bowl, If you get one good playing 900 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:28,120 Speaker 4: in the super Bowl, if you get one good play 901 00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,560 Speaker 4: in the super Bowl, you can pretty much solidify your life. 902 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,000 Speaker 4: You good for the rest of your life. I never 903 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:36,799 Speaker 4: had that, you know, I never had that one play. 904 00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:38,840 Speaker 4: Only player I can talk about in my career that 905 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:42,200 Speaker 4: everybody's like, oh, everybody know about it, even though I 906 00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:44,120 Speaker 4: wasn't the person who did it. I was on the 907 00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:47,560 Speaker 4: field when Drew Bletsoe got knocked out of the game 908 00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:50,479 Speaker 4: by Sean Ellis and Moles. I was in that game. 909 00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:52,759 Speaker 4: So that's the only good thing. That's like, the only 910 00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,799 Speaker 4: player I can really like put on my history, Like 911 00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:56,680 Speaker 4: oh yeah, well, John, you didn't hit him. I was 912 00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:59,160 Speaker 4: in the game though, And especially if you watch like 913 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,319 Speaker 4: YouTubers now you know you watch the podcast, A lot 914 00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,799 Speaker 4: of stuff is more about experience what you did, and 915 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:06,960 Speaker 4: you know, like telling stories about me and with code 916 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:09,879 Speaker 4: telling stories about me and Michael Jordan's telling stories about 917 00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,160 Speaker 4: hanging out room and peanut like stories are like that. 918 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,080 Speaker 4: That's that's what more people are living. I'm like, my 919 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,000 Speaker 4: story is born is head, you know, like, yeah, I 920 00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:19,680 Speaker 4: played football, you know, for me, it was like my lifestyle, 921 00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:21,839 Speaker 4: you know, at a certain time, like when you love 922 00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:24,239 Speaker 4: something so much you don't even see it's like like 923 00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:27,040 Speaker 4: if you have a wife, you have kids, sometimes you 924 00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,600 Speaker 4: don't understand how special the stuff is because it's yours. 925 00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:31,680 Speaker 4: This is mine And I'm not starting to say that, 926 00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:34,719 Speaker 4: and I hope all people don't take the wrong way, 927 00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:37,279 Speaker 4: but you know, like football was mine, Like it was 928 00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:40,239 Speaker 4: like y'all can watch me play and say, y'all feel 929 00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,080 Speaker 4: a certain way of Oh, John, you know what you did? 930 00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:45,160 Speaker 4: I did what I love? What you mean like what 931 00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:46,560 Speaker 4: you want me to say, Like I don't, I don't 932 00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:48,080 Speaker 4: got to se any brag about it and do all 933 00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:50,080 Speaker 4: this like I did what I loved, so that was 934 00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:51,839 Speaker 4: like part of me. So for me, I don't see 935 00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:55,320 Speaker 4: the dynamics of how great I was until I watched myself. 936 00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,520 Speaker 4: Like I had to watch myself because I was so 937 00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:05,080 Speaker 4: mean to myself. Your right, I said, if I play 938 00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:07,000 Speaker 4: with you, I'll be proud to play with somebody like you. 939 00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:08,480 Speaker 4: So I'm like, you know, I had I had to 940 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:10,320 Speaker 4: start patting myself on the back, you know, And I 941 00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:11,839 Speaker 4: think we all should do that, you know. I think 942 00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,880 Speaker 4: a lot of players don't understand. I think Troy Williamson 943 00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:17,479 Speaker 4: he posted something and I had to post him something back, 944 00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:19,920 Speaker 4: like it's to tell him how amazing he was. I'm like, bro, 945 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,279 Speaker 4: you made it to the NFL period, Like just being 946 00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,799 Speaker 4: in that door. You gotta you got a store, like 947 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:29,000 Speaker 4: you understand, Like nobody nobody does that like you understand, 948 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,040 Speaker 4: Like if you think about it, like millions and means 949 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:33,520 Speaker 4: of people playing in high school, means and means and 950 00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:36,600 Speaker 4: people playing in college, and you're able to go even 951 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:40,000 Speaker 4: first round, seventh rounds, whatever, Like if you if you 952 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:42,960 Speaker 4: just get a chance to step in that door, anything 953 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:44,759 Speaker 4: else in your life should be conceivable. 954 00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:45,399 Speaker 2: Yeah. 955 00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:48,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, and I played fifteen years. What am I thinking 956 00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:50,400 Speaker 4: like anything in my life should be conceivable to me. 957 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:54,200 Speaker 1: I love that you're you're giving yourself positive affirmations, and 958 00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:56,600 Speaker 1: you're also born into all the players and giving them 959 00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:01,680 Speaker 1: positive affirmations. I think we all have good stories. I 960 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,160 Speaker 1: love how your story is going right now with that, 961 00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,000 Speaker 1: I'm listening like these are great, these are great stories. 962 00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:11,759 Speaker 1: You got to you got a great story. Also, how 963 00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:15,040 Speaker 1: how are you doing now? And do you have a 964 00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:17,640 Speaker 1: pretty good support system helping you out today? 965 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,920 Speaker 4: Yeah? You know, talking about my kids. Uh, all my 966 00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:24,600 Speaker 4: kids know when Dad is, you know, kind of off, 967 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:26,759 Speaker 4: not like off like that, like I don't know, ain't 968 00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:28,239 Speaker 4: nothing like like I don't go out, I don't drink, 969 00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:30,319 Speaker 4: I don't do all that stuff anymore. But they know, 970 00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:33,560 Speaker 4: not like dad back might be hurt me hurt because 971 00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,719 Speaker 4: I actually, like I said, speaking to my mom and 972 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:39,440 Speaker 4: having an open conversation with her or being able to 973 00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,799 Speaker 4: talk to her now about anything in life. I do 974 00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:45,560 Speaker 4: the same thing with my kids. So you know, yeah, 975 00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:47,080 Speaker 4: what's going on? You know Dad? You know, got a 976 00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,000 Speaker 4: headche to day. I can't do this. You know, the 977 00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:51,360 Speaker 4: lights in the gym been kind of messing with me. 978 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,239 Speaker 4: I can't I can't come to your game today. So 979 00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,279 Speaker 4: it's it's certain things that I do now that that 980 00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:58,719 Speaker 4: really helped me feel better of a father compared to 981 00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,360 Speaker 4: just trying to you know, when I played, it was 982 00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,520 Speaker 4: more like what can I get you? Yeah, you know, 983 00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:07,600 Speaker 4: like the best school. You know, you on these shoes, 984 00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:09,719 Speaker 4: you want this. But then I might not come to 985 00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:12,520 Speaker 4: a game, or I might show up, you know, intoxicate 986 00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:15,040 Speaker 4: or something like that. Because but now I give them 987 00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,040 Speaker 4: best me. Like even my oldest daughter we was talking, 988 00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,719 Speaker 4: she was like, Dad, you know what, I'm not mad 989 00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:22,160 Speaker 4: about the other kids because you know, they're from different people, 990 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:24,200 Speaker 4: So I'm not mad about the other kids. I'm really 991 00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:26,879 Speaker 4: glad that my my sisters get to see the best 992 00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,279 Speaker 4: dad of you or you know, the best part of 993 00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,360 Speaker 4: you now, you know what I'm saying, she said, So, 994 00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:33,399 Speaker 4: so I can only be happy for you. So that's 995 00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:36,120 Speaker 4: that's a big support system for me, just being you know, 996 00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,560 Speaker 4: being the person that I want to be for them. 997 00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:40,680 Speaker 4: Like even like like I said, me and my mom 998 00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:44,240 Speaker 4: are our conversations now are just so in depth and 999 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:45,799 Speaker 4: I feel like a man when I talk to her 1000 00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:48,200 Speaker 4: now because I would tell you, well, I can't talk 1001 00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:50,640 Speaker 4: to you about that. I said, why you treat me 1002 00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:52,400 Speaker 4: like when I was fifteen? Treat me like when I 1003 00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:55,360 Speaker 4: was fourteen or something like, like we gotta talk, and 1004 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:55,719 Speaker 4: who is. 1005 00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:57,440 Speaker 2: She talking to? She's not talking to you about it. 1006 00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:02,319 Speaker 4: I think she wouldn't talk. I got on. I grew 1007 00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,359 Speaker 4: up in the house of all women. My aunts used 1008 00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:06,400 Speaker 4: to always be there, so I guess that's probably when 1009 00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,040 Speaker 4: I was so quiet when I was younger too. But no, 1010 00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:11,759 Speaker 4: my mom. But now like just having that, just having 1011 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:13,680 Speaker 4: that openness, man, it feels so good. I had to 1012 00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:16,360 Speaker 4: tell her because I write. I like to write letters 1013 00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:18,400 Speaker 4: to people that I care about because it's more personal 1014 00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:20,800 Speaker 4: than it is you know, text message and FaceTime. 1015 00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:21,920 Speaker 2: You got some good stuff. 1016 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,399 Speaker 4: Dog, it's the truth. It's the truth. So I wrote 1017 00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:28,120 Speaker 4: my mom rational curses like I'm working. I'm working on 1018 00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,359 Speaker 4: my mom. So when she ain't here, she's gonna feel 1019 00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:32,399 Speaker 4: good when she leave me because she did a lot 1020 00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:33,759 Speaker 4: for me, you know what I'm saying. So I got 1021 00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:35,000 Speaker 4: to do a lot for her. But I wrote her 1022 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:36,840 Speaker 4: a letter and I told her this is something that 1023 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:38,919 Speaker 4: I probably couldn't tell her like when I was a kid. 1024 00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:41,120 Speaker 4: But I was like, tell your husband you proud of him? 1025 00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:43,279 Speaker 4: Sometimes I said, you will never know how much a 1026 00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:46,520 Speaker 4: man needs to hear that he's just problem. She's like, well, 1027 00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:50,480 Speaker 4: you know he knows, Mom. Look now, like I'll be here. 1028 00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:53,680 Speaker 4: I hear you around enough, and you know he my stepdad. 1029 00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:55,920 Speaker 4: I still love him like that. He takes care of you. 1030 00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:58,840 Speaker 4: So I said, I just telling you, proud of trust me. 1031 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:01,840 Speaker 4: You're gonna see that man changed. You might think he 1032 00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:03,840 Speaker 4: just doing like this. I suigg just to do it. 1033 00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:06,480 Speaker 4: So it's just like little things that I couldn't tell 1034 00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:08,640 Speaker 4: her before, like being a man and being able to 1035 00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:10,279 Speaker 4: tell your mom like like I feel like I'm an 1036 00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:12,560 Speaker 4: adult adult, you know what I'm saying. So I'm like, Mom, 1037 00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,040 Speaker 4: do this, and she does it like I tell her, 1038 00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:16,719 Speaker 4: like certain things I give her up. I gave her 1039 00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:19,240 Speaker 4: a journal, you know, my journal, and all this stuff 1040 00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:22,279 Speaker 4: picks me up myself because you know, I'm helping. I'm helping, like, 1041 00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:24,200 Speaker 4: you know, help everything around. You know, I can't be 1042 00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:26,759 Speaker 4: I can't be like my grandfather was. You know, my 1043 00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:29,799 Speaker 4: grandfather was an amazing man. I didn't understand that until 1044 00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:32,719 Speaker 4: I became a man. My grandfather had and this is 1045 00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:38,160 Speaker 4: like sixties, fifties, seventies. He had so many acres of land. 1046 00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:41,880 Speaker 4: He had his own farm, he had a tractor, He 1047 00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:45,040 Speaker 4: did every kind of jobson He built my mom house, 1048 00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:49,680 Speaker 4: he built my cousin's house. This dude, and my mom 1049 00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:51,440 Speaker 4: told me this and this. I think this what this 1050 00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:53,400 Speaker 4: what put it over the top for me because my 1051 00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:55,600 Speaker 4: grandma was a beautiful lady, like you know, I think 1052 00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:58,920 Speaker 4: we all think our grandparents, my mom every beautiful. My 1053 00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:02,600 Speaker 4: mom told me that my grandmother was sick. They used 1054 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:05,240 Speaker 4: to say sick in the head. My grandmother had mental stuff. 1055 00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:07,680 Speaker 4: She said, that's why you never seen her. You've always 1056 00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,080 Speaker 4: seen her with my grandfather, like he used to leave 1057 00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:12,239 Speaker 4: right the house, he used to go. He used to 1058 00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:15,000 Speaker 4: come home, cook, clean, do all that stuff. So I said, 1059 00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:17,040 Speaker 4: he would go work, and this kind of love he 1060 00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,719 Speaker 4: had for his wife and even when he would like 1061 00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:21,440 Speaker 4: go to work sometime he would take her to work 1062 00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:22,840 Speaker 4: with him and he was just sitting down watching. And 1063 00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,400 Speaker 4: I never knew why that. I always thought that, you know, 1064 00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,520 Speaker 4: my grandma was working and my grandma was doing this. 1065 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:30,200 Speaker 4: My mom was like, no, grandma wasn't good, Like Mama 1066 00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:31,960 Speaker 4: went good for a long time. And I was like, 1067 00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:35,239 Speaker 4: so the aspect of the stuff that I wanted to 1068 00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:37,640 Speaker 4: do for my family, the monetary things I thought that 1069 00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:39,960 Speaker 4: could take care of stuff that didn't do nothing to 1070 00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:43,359 Speaker 4: help these people. I'm like, man, that's the man. That's 1071 00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:45,640 Speaker 4: the man. Think about it though, Like my grandma used 1072 00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:47,719 Speaker 4: to stay fresh, come to church for the gold too, fings, 1073 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,399 Speaker 4: I'm telling you, And this is all my grandfather working 1074 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,239 Speaker 4: on this stuff. So I'm looking like, man, I got 1075 00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:55,359 Speaker 4: a story that is so beautiful and that man because 1076 00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:56,759 Speaker 4: he used to always take me, and this is how 1077 00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:58,600 Speaker 4: I got my work. That there, and I never even realized. 1078 00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:02,200 Speaker 4: On Saturdays he always took me with him to work. 1079 00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:04,879 Speaker 4: Like gonna say it, bro, I'm talking about country Strong. 1080 00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:08,600 Speaker 4: You ever her country Strong? Yeah? Yeah. He used to 1081 00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:11,560 Speaker 4: have me, you know, putting shingles on my shoulder. And 1082 00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,279 Speaker 4: I'm like, I was a skinny kid, man. You know, 1083 00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:17,799 Speaker 4: he taught me so much stuff. I can't reciprocate it now, 1084 00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:19,560 Speaker 4: but he taught me so much stuff, you know, like 1085 00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:21,600 Speaker 4: you know, but you know how to how to do, 1086 00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:24,320 Speaker 4: how to do toilets, how to do all kind of cleaning, 1087 00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,240 Speaker 4: all kind of like building houses and everything. And I'm thinking, 1088 00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:29,920 Speaker 4: like I always thought it was punishment. He was just 1089 00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,880 Speaker 4: a grown man. Spending time with his grandson. Yeah, so 1090 00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:36,040 Speaker 4: that was man, that little stuff right there, Like thinking 1091 00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:37,719 Speaker 4: about it now, I was like, man, I didn't even 1092 00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:39,560 Speaker 4: notice it, you know, like as a kid, I'm like, 1093 00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:41,960 Speaker 4: why my other cousins get to do this? He know, 1094 00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:43,960 Speaker 4: I ain't had no father. Man. He used to always 1095 00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,920 Speaker 4: that's there. He's a ton tony, Come you go on 1096 00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:49,719 Speaker 4: me today. I'm like, man, I don't want to man 1097 00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:52,080 Speaker 4: sit down in his truck, sitting there a Sam song. 1098 00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:53,960 Speaker 4: He ain't talking much, you know what I'm saying. But 1099 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,040 Speaker 4: before he passed away the last couple of years, I 1100 00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:59,000 Speaker 4: got with him, man to see his smile again. Bro 1101 00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:02,040 Speaker 4: Like stuff like that that you can't, you know, reciprocate 1102 00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:05,479 Speaker 4: stuff you can't see again. And and and and really 1103 00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:09,279 Speaker 4: understand why my mom used to talk so highly about it, 1104 00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:12,239 Speaker 4: Like I understand now She's like, oh, you understand. And 1105 00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:15,040 Speaker 4: then her just telling me all these tid bits about life. 1106 00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:17,000 Speaker 4: It just helped me grow and help me be a 1107 00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,000 Speaker 4: better person, you know, and not not not even worry 1108 00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:21,880 Speaker 4: about money, no more man like relationships like that's what 1109 00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:25,279 Speaker 4: makes y'all so special, y'all relationship like whether he is 1110 00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:27,759 Speaker 4: being there and whether he had a million like, it's relationship. 1111 00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:29,839 Speaker 4: Like my friend asked me, like, what is the most 1112 00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:32,840 Speaker 4: important thing about being successful? I said, brother, relationships. You 1113 00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:35,520 Speaker 4: build as many relationships as you can and life and 1114 00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:38,640 Speaker 4: if you mess up with somebody, move on if you 1115 00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,600 Speaker 4: don't bring it back. But the relationships, like like I 1116 00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:43,880 Speaker 4: tell you, like, that's that's what I missed about football 1117 00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:47,359 Speaker 4: the most. Just relationships. I don't like the checks are good. 1118 00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:51,200 Speaker 4: I ain't gonna lie check good great, check is good. 1119 00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:52,560 Speaker 4: But if you think about it, if you get a 1120 00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:54,000 Speaker 4: good relationship, the checks that still come. 1121 00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:55,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very true. 1122 00:48:55,520 --> 00:49:00,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, Number one, I think your story has been absolutely amazing. 1123 00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:05,239 Speaker 3: I think I love your story because it's so much 1124 00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:09,360 Speaker 3: more relatable with so many more people that are struggling 1125 00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:12,960 Speaker 3: in other areas in their life, not just football players. 1126 00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:14,560 Speaker 2: You see what I'm saying. 1127 00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:19,000 Speaker 3: And you sometimes may feel like an outlier as a 1128 00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:22,960 Speaker 3: football player, because as football players, everybody thinks we. 1129 00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:23,959 Speaker 2: Got it all figured out. 1130 00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:27,920 Speaker 3: And so when you see people that are supposed to 1131 00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:31,160 Speaker 3: have it all figured out, be candid and vulnerable enough 1132 00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:34,080 Speaker 3: and explain to us that I don't have it figured out. 1133 00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:37,719 Speaker 3: I think you bring so many more people in and 1134 00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:40,400 Speaker 3: so many more people are going to love listening to 1135 00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:42,880 Speaker 3: your story, and that's why you need to share it 1136 00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:48,160 Speaker 3: more because it's not about this group. You can affect 1137 00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:52,080 Speaker 3: so many more in this world, in this country because 1138 00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:55,080 Speaker 3: of your story in the way of so many people 1139 00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:57,400 Speaker 3: think that we got to figure it out, and the 1140 00:49:57,440 --> 00:49:59,520 Speaker 3: fact that you're open and they able to tell it 1141 00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:02,520 Speaker 3: and explain and so deeply and passionately that I don't 1142 00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:03,359 Speaker 3: have it figured out. 1143 00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:06,680 Speaker 2: I think it's a beautiful thing. I love that about you. 1144 00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:09,320 Speaker 3: You seem like you are being the best version of yourself, 1145 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:11,759 Speaker 3: even though you're an all pro you were a pro 1146 00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:14,799 Speaker 3: bowler all these other things in the past, but like no, 1147 00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,000 Speaker 3: I think I like this version of myself right now, 1148 00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:19,440 Speaker 3: and especially the way you're able to provide it from 1149 00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:21,719 Speaker 3: your kids and you're for your daughter to tell you that. 1150 00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,480 Speaker 3: I think that's awesome. I know that's a long winded 1151 00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:26,640 Speaker 3: way to tell you that. I'm just really proud of 1152 00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:29,879 Speaker 3: you and listening to you tell all these things it's 1153 00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:31,360 Speaker 3: been it's just amazing. 1154 00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:31,719 Speaker 2: Now. 1155 00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:36,360 Speaker 3: We end our our pods usually with one big question 1156 00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:38,840 Speaker 3: that we like to have everybody except for non b Austen, 1157 00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:41,640 Speaker 3: why who you know had to do his own thing. 1158 00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:46,759 Speaker 3: But I'm excited. I think I may know who is 1159 00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:48,480 Speaker 3: going to be on this list. But we do a 1160 00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:52,040 Speaker 3: mount Rushmore of influence, like the people that have affected you, 1161 00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:55,440 Speaker 3: influenced you the most in your life, whether it's coach, 1162 00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:59,840 Speaker 3: on the field, off the field, all holistically, you're Mount Rushmore. 1163 00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:05,279 Speaker 4: It for mm hmmmm, Well, Mama Rushmore is kind of 1164 00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:09,560 Speaker 4: kind of shaky. I would definitely have to start with 1165 00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:16,200 Speaker 4: my mom, my grandfather. Hm. I want to put a 1166 00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:19,120 Speaker 4: football coach in there, but I can't because they didn't 1167 00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:21,319 Speaker 4: mean as much me as the people outside of the 1168 00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:23,680 Speaker 4: football game was. You know what I'm saying, Like, I 1169 00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:26,120 Speaker 4: don't want to take away from these people. But at 1170 00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:28,960 Speaker 4: the same time as it's like, you know, it's like 1171 00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:31,040 Speaker 4: it's tough because I'm like, you know, you want to 1172 00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:33,000 Speaker 4: because that was your profession and that was you know, 1173 00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:35,319 Speaker 4: that what took care of your life. But I would 1174 00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:38,080 Speaker 4: have to say my best friend actually a Terroicle Worthy, 1175 00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:42,320 Speaker 4: that's just my life, is my influence, especially especially outside 1176 00:51:42,320 --> 00:51:46,920 Speaker 4: of football. She saved me in so many aspects of 1177 00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:50,080 Speaker 4: outside of football. And I would have to say my dad, 1178 00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:53,239 Speaker 4: he wasn't in my life, and I think that helped 1179 00:51:53,239 --> 00:51:55,080 Speaker 4: me more than anything. That gave me the drive to 1180 00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:59,520 Speaker 4: be exactly opposite of the person he was with my kids, 1181 00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:03,120 Speaker 4: with how I lived it self alcohol, I was like, 1182 00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:04,959 Speaker 4: I did try to act like him when I drink. 1183 00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:08,440 Speaker 4: I did do that that perspective of my life. I 1184 00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:10,960 Speaker 4: wouldn't say, but everything he did I try to do oppositely, 1185 00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:14,560 Speaker 4: like going to school, like I said, being a father, 1186 00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:18,200 Speaker 4: being a man that you can depend on, you know, 1187 00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:21,240 Speaker 4: always being vocal with people and being real with people, 1188 00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,400 Speaker 4: getting out of my mom house. My dad stayed with 1189 00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:27,280 Speaker 4: My dad stayed with his mom till he passed away. 1190 00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:32,399 Speaker 4: So he's probably the biggest one, like the biggest one 1191 00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,480 Speaker 4: for me. And it's a mount rushmore and you know, 1192 00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:37,840 Speaker 4: people have so you know, I got other things I 1193 00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:39,560 Speaker 4: can talk about if you're talking about life though, and 1194 00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:42,239 Speaker 4: what I think about when I'm at home, I think 1195 00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:45,000 Speaker 4: about those people. I don't think about like what my 1196 00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:46,800 Speaker 4: coach told me, like when I walk through life, I 1197 00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:48,799 Speaker 4: don't think about like when I walk through life now, 1198 00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:51,680 Speaker 4: I think about, you know, he'll never see this, you know. 1199 00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:53,759 Speaker 4: I think about, she'll never see this, you know, And 1200 00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:56,399 Speaker 4: what can I do to make my mom more happy? 1201 00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:58,480 Speaker 4: What can I do to make my best friend more happy. 1202 00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:02,160 Speaker 4: You know, even me being here and doing this, I 1203 00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:05,000 Speaker 4: know it gives them some kind of gratification. You know, 1204 00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:07,480 Speaker 4: Like my mom is going to be very grateful when 1205 00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:09,279 Speaker 4: she sees this, or she don't see it, but you 1206 00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:12,600 Speaker 4: know she's gonna be grateful that I'm doing this because 1207 00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:15,040 Speaker 4: I honestly had to ask my mom. I said, and 1208 00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:17,840 Speaker 4: it's situations in my life that happened. And then I 1209 00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:20,279 Speaker 4: asked her. Now I couldn't ask before. I said, Mom, 1210 00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:24,279 Speaker 4: did I deserve this? She said what I said, Mom? 1211 00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:26,120 Speaker 4: Did I deserve this? Did I deserve to be a 1212 00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:28,120 Speaker 4: football player? Did I deserve to have this money? Did 1213 00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:30,800 Speaker 4: I deserve I said, I don't feel like I deserve this, 1214 00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:33,880 Speaker 4: Like I don't feel like I feel like I'm I 1215 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:35,400 Speaker 4: was capable of it, but I don't feel like I 1216 00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:38,760 Speaker 4: deserve it. She was like, boy, don't you I said. 1217 00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:41,959 Speaker 4: I said, no, I'm just asking, like today my mind 1218 00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:44,320 Speaker 4: is telling me while I'm sitting in my condo and 1219 00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:47,399 Speaker 4: thinking about Timbsville, South Carolina, the small seventeen hundred square 1220 00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:49,960 Speaker 4: foot house we grew up in with the five people 1221 00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:54,040 Speaker 4: you know, me, my mom, my sister, my other sister 1222 00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:56,840 Speaker 4: is my cousin and my aunt all us in that 1223 00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:59,279 Speaker 4: one house. And now I'm sitting like on top of 1224 00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:02,160 Speaker 4: Atlanta and looking out in Atlanta. I'm like, Mom, do 1225 00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:05,040 Speaker 4: I deserve this? Like I don't know if I deserved this, 1226 00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:06,960 Speaker 4: like you staying on the golf course. Now, I'm like, 1227 00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:09,840 Speaker 4: you totally deserve it, Like, Mam, you deserve that. But 1228 00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:11,560 Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm sitting in my condo and I'm like, 1229 00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:13,600 Speaker 4: I don't know if I deserve to have these great kids. 1230 00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:15,440 Speaker 4: I don't know if I deserve, you know, to be 1231 00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:16,239 Speaker 4: able to move like. 1232 00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:16,879 Speaker 1: I move now. 1233 00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:19,920 Speaker 4: Like so for me, when she said, yeah, you do, 1234 00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:23,240 Speaker 4: she said anything, you know, God give you to deserve 1235 00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:24,880 Speaker 4: it and you should be proud of it, and he 1236 00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:27,200 Speaker 4: should be grateful that you got it. And I said, ma, 1237 00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:30,000 Speaker 4: I appreciate it because today I was not feeling like 1238 00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:32,000 Speaker 4: I deserve where I was in life, Like maybe they 1239 00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:33,480 Speaker 4: should have gave to my best friend. He was a 1240 00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:35,880 Speaker 4: pretty good player. Maybe I should give it to my cousin. 1241 00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:38,160 Speaker 4: He seemed like a pretty legitimate guy. And I'm like 1242 00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:41,480 Speaker 4: my mom telling me that, just the confidence just boosted up. 1243 00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:44,680 Speaker 4: And I'm still blessed enough to have to you know, 1244 00:54:45,239 --> 00:54:48,000 Speaker 4: conversations with my mom, you know, someone in that I 1245 00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:50,800 Speaker 4: needed gratification from when I was younger. But her saying 1246 00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:54,360 Speaker 4: that just you know, really really pushed me to like 1247 00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:57,600 Speaker 4: be here. And when I say be here, I'm just 1248 00:54:57,680 --> 00:54:59,960 Speaker 4: being present, you know, just being present in your life, 1249 00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:02,080 Speaker 4: you know, because a lot of times we don't even 1250 00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:04,520 Speaker 4: know that we're not being present at the time. We'll 1251 00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:06,279 Speaker 4: be sitting there thinking about, Okay, yeah you can be 1252 00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:09,080 Speaker 4: on your phone. Okay, I'm doing this and doing this. 1253 00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:11,520 Speaker 4: Somebody will right by it probably won't speak to you, 1254 00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:14,320 Speaker 4: say something nice, but you're doing something else. So, you know, 1255 00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:17,239 Speaker 4: just like being in the president, so appreciate. But that's 1256 00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:21,560 Speaker 4: my that's my man, that's my and I apologize. You know, 1257 00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:22,320 Speaker 4: I had. 1258 00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:29,279 Speaker 1: Perfect customized for you. It's all about you, boss, So 1259 00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:32,200 Speaker 1: that's me. Yeah, that's it's a good for I like 1260 00:55:32,280 --> 00:55:32,680 Speaker 1: that for it. 1261 00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:36,600 Speaker 3: Well, first off, I loved it four just because I 1262 00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:39,759 Speaker 3: didn't mean to cut you off, peanut. But my stepbrother 1263 00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:43,319 Speaker 3: before he passed away, did it. I heard him say 1264 00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:45,759 Speaker 3: the same thing was that I didn't want it. He 1265 00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:49,320 Speaker 3: didn't want to be like somebody so bad that he 1266 00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:50,480 Speaker 3: ended up becoming. 1267 00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:50,880 Speaker 4: Just like him. 1268 00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:54,680 Speaker 3: That's the scary part too, and so you you I 1269 00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:57,160 Speaker 3: love that you're letting all these things go by speaking 1270 00:55:57,200 --> 00:55:59,879 Speaker 3: about it, and so because of that, it's it's really 1271 00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:00,799 Speaker 3: really impactful. 1272 00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:04,040 Speaker 1: No, I just thank you for sharing your story, man, 1273 00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:10,279 Speaker 1: thank for being vulnerable. I love the emotional maturity, the 1274 00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:14,840 Speaker 1: growth that you've shown and been through and it's it's amazing. 1275 00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:17,920 Speaker 1: And I love that you're breaking down walls and you're 1276 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,200 Speaker 1: raising your kids and they get the best version of you. 1277 00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:23,400 Speaker 1: And that's man, that's that's beautiful. 1278 00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:24,040 Speaker 4: Appreciate it. 1279 00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:26,920 Speaker 3: I'm just absolutely amazed that you were actually like nervous 1280 00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:30,040 Speaker 3: to come talk to I'm like, you are a freaking bather. 1281 00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:34,800 Speaker 2: I just and I didn't know you. I didn't know you. 1282 00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:36,920 Speaker 2: I had no idea. 1283 00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:37,799 Speaker 4: That's how I am. 1284 00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:41,320 Speaker 3: And yeah, I just no idea seeing you and played 1285 00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:44,479 Speaker 3: against you all those times and just had no idea. 1286 00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:47,719 Speaker 4: And I totally get it, like my mom, like we 1287 00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:50,880 Speaker 4: just people like, yeah, hey, if I see something I like, 1288 00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:53,840 Speaker 4: I probably won't go get it. I sit there and 1289 00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:56,160 Speaker 4: look at it, but you know, it is what it is. 1290 00:56:56,239 --> 00:56:58,120 Speaker 4: But like I said, I appreciate y'all having me. Man 1291 00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:02,440 Speaker 4: if I can help anybody, Yeah, that's that's that's that's 1292 00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:05,400 Speaker 4: a big thing because my sister's like, you know, you know, 1293 00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:07,920 Speaker 4: you're over that stuff in your past and all that stuff, 1294 00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:09,600 Speaker 4: and you should just move on. I said, you know, 1295 00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:12,120 Speaker 4: I just want to talk my real life, Like that's 1296 00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:13,840 Speaker 4: really what go on. Man. You know, it's just a 1297 00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:16,200 Speaker 4: lot easier for me just to give y'all what it is. 1298 00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:19,000 Speaker 4: I'm not in that place anymore. I'm in a better place, 1299 00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:21,120 Speaker 4: and I can give a better, you know, view of me. 1300 00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:22,720 Speaker 4: So a lot of times, a lot of times, like 1301 00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:25,320 Speaker 4: walking up to people now is a lot easier compared 1302 00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:25,640 Speaker 4: to it was. 1303 00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:27,440 Speaker 2: The appreciate it. 1304 00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:29,840 Speaker 1: I love that, you know, man, I used to share 1305 00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:32,560 Speaker 1: your your story and you just to speak open and vumbly. 1306 00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:34,800 Speaker 2: I think it's more impactful that way. Man. Appreciate John, 1307 00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:35,240 Speaker 2: appreciate it. 1308 00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:35,440 Speaker 1: Man. 1309 00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:37,880 Speaker 3: All right, we get you all out of here. Man, 1310 00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:40,720 Speaker 3: that was beautiful, really emotionally. I mean I'm a little 1311 00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:44,280 Speaker 3: bit tearing up, honestly. But wherever you listen to your podcast, 1312 00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:45,040 Speaker 3: thank you so much. 1313 00:57:45,120 --> 00:57:45,240 Speaker 5: Man. 1314 00:57:45,280 --> 00:57:47,760 Speaker 3: Give us a five star rating, give us a follow, 1315 00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:51,560 Speaker 3: click of share, and what is the other one? You know? 1316 00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:54,560 Speaker 1: Link, subscribe, follow, share, leave a comment. 1317 00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:56,680 Speaker 2: Dude, You're so much better than me right now. 1318 00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:57,480 Speaker 4: I don't know what it is. 1319 00:57:57,680 --> 00:57:58,840 Speaker 2: But anyways, wherever you pick up. 1320 00:57:58,800 --> 00:58:03,120 Speaker 3: Your podcast, whether it's IR Apple podcasts, please man, we 1321 00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:03,720 Speaker 3: appreciate it. 1322 00:58:03,760 --> 00:58:05,439 Speaker 2: Tell a friend to tell a friend to tell a friend. 1323 00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:09,760 Speaker 1: From Charles Toomer, John Abraham, Roman Harper. Hey, this is 1324 00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:12,520 Speaker 1: the NFL player. Second X podcast be out,