WEBVTT - Sue + Ava 0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:03.160 Oh, listen after this and seeing myself every time we 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:10.399 do this, I am definitely having a facelift. Okay, Alsa, 0:00:10.920 --> 0:00:14.760 got my headphones on, got my everything going, The microphone 0:00:14.840 --> 0:00:18.119 is working, I can see everybody. Who are we going 0:00:18.160 --> 0:00:21.320 to talk about today? Today we're gonna have a special 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:26.680 day Merrow posters. Daughter Ava and her mother Sue are 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:30.240 going to have a conversation. Is that our merrow? It's 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:34.440 our narrow poster. Who's the creator of Call your Grandmother? Oh, 0:00:34.479 --> 0:00:37.440 I'm really looking forward to this. It should be fabulous. 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:49.000 They're two fabulous ladies. A little girl, a teenager too fast. 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:53.200 A little girl, You'll be a real pain to the ass. 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:57.240 You'll go to school and act so cool and do 0:00:57.360 --> 0:01:02.480 all the teenage stuff. Little girl, you're not a little 0:01:02.560 --> 0:01:15.280 girl long a. This is too I'm not going to 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:19.360 say her age, but she is fun. She's funky, very fresh. 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:23.000 With Grammy, nothing can be described as boring. You know. 0:01:23.120 --> 0:01:26.280 Sometimes I'd say things and do things just for the 0:01:26.319 --> 0:01:29.640 outrageousness of the pido, so we could get a lot 0:01:29.440 --> 0:01:32.959 out of it. Grammy has a photographic memory. If you 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:35.040 give her the name of a song, she can sing 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:39.240 a song that goes with that word should wed Grammy, alright, 0:01:39.319 --> 0:01:43.680 just don't embarrass me after that interruption. My best friend's 0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:49.600 name is Lily, Lily, Lily of the Valley, Lily Lily, 0:01:49.680 --> 0:01:56.440 Let's red BALLI zupp keep your eyes on the road, etcetera. 0:01:57.160 --> 0:02:00.760 I've been wearing the same perfume for forty years and 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:03.640 she always loved it. So before she went to camp, 0:02:03.680 --> 0:02:06.760 I took my perfume dad to a house and I 0:02:06.840 --> 0:02:10.120 sprated all over hot pillows that she was taking to camp. 0:02:10.400 --> 0:02:12.360 So when she got to camp, she would spell me. 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:16.720 She is really funny. Everything she says is like, uh, 0:02:16.840 --> 0:02:19.720 there's always a joke because she's very musical. She's been 0:02:19.760 --> 0:02:23.079 a very very important part of my life. She's the 0:02:23.120 --> 0:02:26.840 best and I love her. Nobody has given me the 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:37.560 joy and by life that Ava has given me. Growing up. 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:40.680 I guess they had a really small bladder. So we 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:42.880 would wander into bathrooms and we made it like a game. 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:45.200 It was like, oh does this I was really small, 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:47.480 so it's the hook low enough that I could reach it. 0:02:47.560 --> 0:02:50.920 It never was are there flowers? Is it nice lighting? 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:52.720 And then it just became a thing and we're like, yeah, 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:54.959 we're going to write a book. On the best bathrooms 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:57.200 in New York, the best bath and the worst, and 0:02:57.280 --> 0:03:01.679 we took notes and we rated them from one to ted. Yeah. 0:03:01.919 --> 0:03:05.520 Grammy famously likes to kidnap me, so she would just 0:03:05.560 --> 0:03:08.600 capture me after school and we would like do debaucherous things. 0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:11.240 I would take Gavid during the day. We rode up 0:03:11.240 --> 0:03:13.520 to yachters and we this bathroom looked like it was 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:17.600 over the bridge. Rebepperave it felt like you were on 0:03:17.680 --> 0:03:20.040 a ship in the middle of the river. Yeah, I 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:24.000 mean it was gorgeous and the view was incredible. Grammy 0:03:24.040 --> 0:03:26.239 has kind of always been with me. We would do 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:29.200 like cooking classes together. She would take me to dance lessons, 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:32.720 and we've always been extremely close. She taught me to 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:35.040 play pick up six and jacks to make sure I 0:03:35.040 --> 0:03:37.600 went to camp with all of the necessary skills. We 0:03:37.680 --> 0:03:40.280 did all different things. We went to Butterfly World. We 0:03:40.320 --> 0:03:43.520 went to play a miniature golf. Yeah. But now in 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:47.040 the pandemic, it's just helping the pandemic. I haven't sea. Yeah. 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:48.680 Have I seen you once? I mean I've seen you 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:51.680 since March, right. Yeah. Well, she came to the house 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:56.000 twice this summer and she took a few things. She 0:03:56.120 --> 0:04:00.040 wears some of my old Yeah, her old clothes. He 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:02.600 has like these like old scars that will tie into talk. 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:04.920 And I used to always wear a belt and a 0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:14.920 shirt with the collar up. I look like Rizzo from Greece. Terrific. 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:19.440 And I love the relationship between the grandmother and that 0:04:19.640 --> 0:04:23.200 thing with the rating of the bathrooms. That's the funniest 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:26.039 thing I ever heard. Every time she opens him out, 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:28.880 I think to myself, as soon as this thing is over, 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:31.760 I'm having her here for lunch. I mean, she is 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:40.720 just like, invite me, Allen, you're a good cook. Okay. 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:45.520 I'm reading these part titles, and part one says Ellie 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:53.360 Grammy Graham. I wonder what that is, Grammy. Her use 0:04:53.400 --> 0:04:56.320 of social media could possibly be characterized as her miss 0:04:56.360 --> 0:05:00.440 use of social media now that she's taken to Instagram 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:06.880 and Facebook. Sometimes she accidentally live streams I'm like fun 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:11.760 over a dress rewa. So the first time that happened, 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:14.080 I get a text from my best friend Sam. She 0:05:14.200 --> 0:05:17.800 was like, get on Facebook right now, Grammy's live streaming. 0:05:18.360 --> 0:05:21.479 So we're all on Facebook. All of my friends and 0:05:21.520 --> 0:05:23.840 my cousins were all texting. We're like, who's gonna tell her, 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:26.839 I'm just hearing a baptist though. Yeah, you kept like 0:05:26.920 --> 0:05:28.919 tapping the button. It was like click click click. You 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:30.880 were just sitting there and then you put like a 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:35.320 filter on yourself. I was crying. I don't have any 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:39.719 recollection that live. Same incident became the inspiration for Eli 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:43.240 Grammy Graham, an Instagram account my cousins and I made 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:46.680 for a Grandma. It's all about the face, that's the trouble. 0:05:47.000 --> 0:05:50.120 It's all about the base that's the trouble. It's at 0:05:50.160 --> 0:05:53.360 at that the base that's the trouble. But told me, 0:05:54.080 --> 0:05:56.599 I mean, it was basically about my grandma, like all 0:05:56.600 --> 0:05:59.960 the ridiculous stuff she does and all of the accidental 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:03.200 selfie she takes, and when she sings rap songs in 0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:07.040 the car to like melodies and niche is so confusing 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:15.080 and it was really never meant to be anything past. 0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:17.720 Like my family and my friends, it's kind of all 0:06:17.760 --> 0:06:22.320 those things that's like so quintessentially Grammy to everyone that 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:24.919 just it makes you laugh or at least makes you 0:06:24.920 --> 0:06:33.480 smile a little bit. Even before we made her this account, 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:36.279 all my friends knew Grammy, Like none of my friends 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:39.840 call her Sue. Or Susan. It's all Grammy. It's like 0:06:39.880 --> 0:06:43.400 a nickname rather than being like my name for my grandma. 0:06:43.480 --> 0:06:45.600 It's like, oh, hey, Grammy is Oh Grammy's gonna pick 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:48.200 you up. It's not like, oh, is your Grammy gonna 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:51.159 pick you up? She never knew I had a real name, 0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:53.840 but until a friend the Beryl's, asked her, do you 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:57.760 know what Grammy's real name is? She said, Grabby. She 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.320 had one friend that really thought I was a great mother. 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:04.440 After my fourth grandchild was born, my husband, for her anniversary, 0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:07.440 got be a tennis bracelet when he had a little 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:11.160 gold baby shoes. Attached to the bracelet at the bottom 0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:13.800 of the shoe said each kid's day with the date 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:18.040 of birth. And Samantha looked at the bracelet. She said 0:07:18.080 --> 0:07:22.280 to me, where's my name? And Avis said to it, 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:25.800 you're not one of Grammy's children, no child's You're not 0:07:25.880 --> 0:07:33.560 one of Grammy's childs. That thing is so funny because 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:37.480 when I'm answering an email with something, I'm not good. 0:07:37.520 --> 0:07:41.280 I don't hit the right keys, and my kids keep saying, 0:07:42.080 --> 0:07:46.120 what are the stupid things are you sending out? You know, 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:49.080 we don't know what we're doing. So whatever happens happens, 0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:52.320 and it's funny. It was adorable, that's so cute. I 0:07:52.440 --> 0:07:55.520 think that when a child has a relationship like that 0:07:55.600 --> 0:08:00.000 with a grandmother, it's like a gift. It really, absolutely, 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:03.120 it's a gift. And I tried. I tried to create 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:05.520 that kind of a relationship. Of course, my girls are 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:08.880 much much younger, so it's better, you know what, because 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:11.880 I feel now not that we're grandmother and grandshung with 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:15.480 buddies with pounds. We love to be together. They get 0:08:15.480 --> 0:08:18.520 a kick out of me the stupid things I do. 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:20.760 You know, there's there's an expression that we have in 0:08:20.840 --> 0:08:25.640 our family. It's like this no no, that usually is 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:29.640 involving anything that has to do with electronics, although I 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:36.080 tried very hard. Next up, we have part two, the 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:39.599 last olive, and the only thing that comes to my 0:08:39.800 --> 0:08:44.680 mind is a marketining. How would you compare yourself to 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:47.120 your grandmother? What would you say is the biggest difference 0:08:47.160 --> 0:08:52.199 between the two of you? She was cold as ice. Oh. 0:08:52.280 --> 0:08:54.560 We used to have dinner every night together, so you know, 0:08:54.600 --> 0:08:57.640 my mother always putting the olives, pickles, celery, carrots on 0:08:57.679 --> 0:09:00.920 the table, and there was one of olive left when 0:09:01.000 --> 0:09:04.640 I went to take it, she took it. My grandmother, 0:09:06.040 --> 0:09:07.920 if there is one thing left on the table at 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:10.560 a restaurant, she always tells me to eat it. She's like, 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:12.400 you go for it. I'm not going to take the 0:09:12.480 --> 0:09:19.760 last one. I never forgot that m after going through 0:09:19.960 --> 0:09:23.280 the experience, have your grandmother taking the last olive? What 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:25.319 do you think is the most important thing to convey 0:09:25.840 --> 0:09:30.800 to your own grandchildren? Just love them. I really never 0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:33.400 wanted to every time I came to the house, boy 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:35.839 you something, and give you something, because I didn't want 0:09:35.840 --> 0:09:38.679 to be known for that. And I know plenty of 0:09:38.720 --> 0:09:42.720 my friends that with grandmothers, they every time they came 0:09:42.760 --> 0:09:45.640 to the house, you think that the child was interested 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:47.160 in just what did you bring me? What did you 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:50.720 bring me? So I made sure I didn't do that. 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:53.520 I mean, I certainly didn't suffer from lack of gifts, 0:09:54.520 --> 0:09:59.920 but I didn't make it an odd gooing. Uh an expectation? Right? Okay, 0:10:00.120 --> 0:10:03.560 say yea. Not only do you do that, you finish 0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:09.760 my sentences. You know, I have to say something about 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:13.400 the last alive. They used to say, if a single 0:10:13.480 --> 0:10:17.400 girl each the last thing, she's gonna be an old maid? 0:10:17.480 --> 0:10:20.280 Did you ever hear that? But that's never hurt. You 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:22.920 never heard that? Oh big, you know, I tell you 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:25.320 the decade between our soul and there's a lot of 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:29.040 things that got lost anyway. But the relationship is so cute. 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:32.480 It's really adorable, and it really is. And you hope 0:10:32.520 --> 0:10:36.320 for a relationship like that with granddaughters and she and 0:10:36.400 --> 0:10:39.840 she's right about not bring any gift every time. Don't 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:41.800 you know a lot of grandmothers that say, I'm going 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:44.760 to the grandchildren, I have to get something for No, 0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:47.080 I do I know? Women. I have to tell you 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:49.760 there's nothing I could buy my grandchildren that I would 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:52.880 know that they want number one or that they don't have, 0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:56.520 which is unfortunate me. Listen, I have a granddaughter who's 0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:58.840 eleven who wants a broken leg. I think I'm gonna 0:10:58.840 --> 0:11:04.480 buy that. No, no, you have to get on a 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:09.920 waiting list. Now, listen, don't go anywhere. We're gonna do 0:11:10.000 --> 0:11:12.600 a quick commercial and I know you're gonna come right 0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:15.600 back because we'll be looking for you. And there's nothing 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:31.440 like Jewish guilt. Next up is part three, Going her 0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:38.240 Own Way? So how did you meet Poppy? A friend 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:41.120 of mine? When we graduated high school, went first summer 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:46.840 job at this company answering phones, putting in orders and 0:11:47.200 --> 0:11:50.160 modeling the swimsuits. And she liked it so much, and 0:11:50.240 --> 0:11:52.199 she thought her bosses were so nice that she never 0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:57.720 went to college. So I called them and my husband's partner, 0:11:57.800 --> 0:11:59.679 he was married, so he's the one that did the 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:02.520 high you ring And I had met my husband yet 0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:04.120 you know, I would be on the spot to come 0:12:04.160 --> 0:12:07.079 in the following day his part Yeah, she had a 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:11.080 rocking bod. And at that center clock, this dude struts 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:15.400 in and he starts singing A foggy day in London Town. 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:18.080 I said to myself, who is this? And there he was. 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:22.400 Whenever I get to say, like, oh my grandma, Yeah 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:24.240 she was a bathing suit model. For like a little 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:27.320 bit of time, we're like, she's a bathing suit model, 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:29.600 I was like, yes, model bathing suits my grandpa made 0:12:29.640 --> 0:12:32.080 on then. I mean, who knew he'd be my future 0:12:32.120 --> 0:12:34.520 huts But I used to stay there because I had 0:12:34.520 --> 0:12:36.560 a crush on him, and I would take a later 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:39.880 training back to Lord Beach on Friday afternoon so I 0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:42.640 could stay another twenty minutes to the office with him. 0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:46.200 One night, I stayed later to model some suits for them, 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:50.680 and then he took me for dinner. On the way out, 0:12:50.720 --> 0:12:55.079 I broke my heel of my shoe and he gave me, 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:58.280 I think thirty dollars, so he said, his money, and 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:00.120 go buy a pair of shoes because she's coming to 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:02.600 work tomorrow. You need a pair of shoes. I had 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:08.280 to think not to vomit. I was so nervous. He 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:13.640 was a great combination of niceness and thoughtfulness and its sexy. 0:13:13.679 --> 0:13:15.920 It was a great combination. You know, it's like salt 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:19.240 but pepper. You know, it worked very well together. I 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:22.040 felt that it was something real, but I didn't know 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:25.840 what real really was. I was trying to fight it. 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:28.760 They was thirteen a half years older than I was 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.080 at nineteen, a man of thirty two and a half. 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:33.560 I made my friends thought I was going out with 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:37.480 my father. Yeah, she was nineteen, I mean to be exact, 0:13:37.520 --> 0:13:41.679 I was eighteen really when I met him, and he 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:44.439 was in the garb and Center, and that it wasn't 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:47.200 a distinguished career like being a doctor a lawyer. You know, 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:51.679 that's how people thought. You know. I was crazy about him, 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:54.800 and his time went by, I was even more so, 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:57.920 but I felt that there was no future there. I mean, 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:01.000 I can't marry him. Makes that he's not marriage material 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:05.360 for me. So what changed your mind then about Poppy 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:10.480 being marriage material? I was going with him over two years, 0:14:10.960 --> 0:14:14.280 and I saw that I didn't like anybody else. Finally, 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:18.880 my mother said to me that summer looks susan either ship. 0:14:18.920 --> 0:14:21.560 We'll get up the pot. That's it. You can't keep 0:14:21.600 --> 0:14:25.120 going like this. You know, there wasn't the pill they got. 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:27.280 My mother was scared at death. I would be coome pregnant. 0:14:27.280 --> 0:14:31.680 You know, you got married to January before your college graduation, 0:14:31.800 --> 0:14:33.960 and didn't your father make you get your maiden name 0:14:34.040 --> 0:14:37.120 on your diploma right because he thought the marriagement at last. 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:39.600 So you never know, you know, And we had a 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:46.680 very long, loving marriage, so you never can tell. Oh, 0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:49.880 he found like a really nice guy. And look how 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:52.600 generous he was. He gave him money for para shoes 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:55.640 in those years of para shues for thirty dollars had 0:14:55.640 --> 0:15:00.840 to be Jimmy Choo, something really of I wasn't jump 0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:03.400 from a a s BEC. I don't know a few 0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:06.720 people remember that. God, I remember a s Bec. It 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:10.640 was a shoe store chain and it was modern, comfortable shoes, 0:15:11.000 --> 0:15:13.360 but at thirty dollars, my god, you would have brought 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:16.760 three pair and they expect So he was a generous guy. 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:21.960 I say, these two Ava and Grahammy I'm enjoying this relationship. 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:24.840 And the grandmother is a funny lady. She's a lot 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:27.560 of fun. She's a oh, I I haven't expression who 0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:31.480 you know what? Who did? She's a yeah, okay, I 0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:33.680 don't know. If you need a few young girls know what? 0:15:33.840 --> 0:15:36.240 Who did? It's like I still say that read it 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:42.960 really yeah, okay, okay, Rida Part four us coming up. 0:15:43.400 --> 0:15:46.680 I see that it says making your own money. This 0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:49.080 is something all of them have to learn how to do. 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:54.160 When I got married, I still was in college and 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:58.240 I was a speech in audiology major, and I really 0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:00.480 liked it that they gave us patience to take on 0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:03.920 the outside. We visited certain people at hospitals. Do ever 0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:07.440 see the movie Maudy with Ernest Borgnard. Well, his mother 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:10.160 had a stroke and she was in Safe Vincent's hospital 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:12.640 in the city, and she was one of my patients 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:14.760 that I had to go see. What's so we and 0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:19.240 I was offered a job at Rusk Institute and My 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:22.000 husband did not want me to take the job because 0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:24.040 he was afraid I'd fall in love with a doctor. 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:28.080 And he kept saying that to me, and and it 0:16:28.160 --> 0:16:30.120 was close to where we lived, and I really I 0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:33.640 studied hard and I really wanted to work at it. 0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:35.560 I said, I fell in love with you. Why would 0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:37.320 I fall in love with the doctor. He says, well, 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:39.720 you've got to have a baby, sued, And that's how 0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:41.440 we thought. So I didn't say I'd have a baby 0:16:41.600 --> 0:16:44.560 worked too, you know. So that was the end of 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:47.600 my profession. I feel like it's definitely worth noting that 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:51.760 all of the women in our family value education very highly. 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:55.560 I'm the fourth generation to be going to college woman, 0:16:56.520 --> 0:16:59.160 and so I mean it's a pretty big deal. Like 0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:04.080 it's more about having the passion for learning. Grammy, you'll 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:06.400 call me even at the beginning of every semester. What 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:08.879 books are you reading in your classes? Like, I'm an 0:17:08.880 --> 0:17:11.199 English major, so it's all this stuff. It's a lot 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:14.720 of feminist literature that I've been reading recently. It wanted 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:18.119 us something I really, uh, black the other side of 0:17:18.160 --> 0:17:20.560 the fence with this by day. What do you mean 0:17:20.560 --> 0:17:23.320 you're on the other side of the fence were already. 0:17:23.400 --> 0:17:26.240 So what does that mean? I don't know. I mean 0:17:26.280 --> 0:17:30.720 I believe in equal pay. Uh. My nephew graduated Harvard 0:17:31.000 --> 0:17:35.000 Law School about Ted's years ago, and more than half 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:39.399 of those law students were wipid. Right really made me 0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:42.280 feel good. It really wore my heart. Yeah, I think 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:45.360 that Grammy as a woman, I think she's definitely more 0:17:45.400 --> 0:17:49.880 progressive than others in terms of like feminism. I don't 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:52.840 think she would call herself necessarily a feminist, but I 0:17:52.880 --> 0:17:56.679 think that Grammy has always been someone to champion women 0:17:56.760 --> 0:17:59.280 doing what they want, not relying on a husband or 0:17:59.280 --> 0:18:03.199 a boyfriend to fulfill all of your needs. And I 0:18:03.200 --> 0:18:05.240 mean it was very deeply ingrained in my mom that 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:08.000 you work and you make your own money. And now 0:18:08.040 --> 0:18:10.600 I'm making a little bit of my own money, and 0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:15.600 it feels really good. Having money of your own gives 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:18.760 you a sense of independence. You know. That reminds me 0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:21.639 of a story when I graduated from college and I 0:18:21.680 --> 0:18:24.520 got my first job teaching. My mother said to me, 0:18:25.240 --> 0:18:29.160 You're gonna have to pay rent now. And I was horrified, 0:18:30.080 --> 0:18:32.240 I'm going to live at home with you and Daddy 0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:35.040 and I have to pay rent. My mother said, it's 0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:39.080 only fair you have to pay rent. And about a 0:18:39.119 --> 0:18:41.880 week before I got married, my mother came to me 0:18:42.400 --> 0:18:46.320 with an envelope and she said, this is yours, and 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:48.800 I opened it up and there was a tremendous check 0:18:48.840 --> 0:18:51.920 in there. Then all the rent you pay, she says, 0:18:51.920 --> 0:18:54.040 I'm your mother, I know you, and I know where 0:18:54.040 --> 0:18:57.240 that money would have god, And we had a very 0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:03.640 nice little nest egg from that money for one one 0:19:04.080 --> 0:19:07.359 to do three three? What do I think? I'm believe 0:19:07.359 --> 0:19:11.720 we're gonna say time to go commercial, commercial and we'll 0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:15.840 be right back. We can never sink I talked too fast. No, 0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:22.760 you were behind me? Read are you still there? Oh? Yeah? 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:28.200 Part five is coming up. Grammy's Lessons something everyone should 0:19:28.200 --> 0:19:35.040 adhere to. Grammy. What's the difference between being a mother 0:19:35.119 --> 0:19:37.760 and a grandmother? For you? I don't have to worry 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:39.959 every night. Did you do your homework? What's your homework? 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:42.600 Where is your homework? What's this? To pick up your clothes? 0:19:42.640 --> 0:19:45.120 Put back your clothes? Did you go to the bathroom today? 0:19:45.160 --> 0:19:47.240 I was always a big maxature. My kids went to 0:19:47.320 --> 0:19:49.760 the bathroom with that. You still do do that with me, 0:19:50.200 --> 0:19:53.439 By the way, Just to make that clear, that's not 0:19:53.480 --> 0:19:57.680 where the mother grandmother line is. It's not really worrying 0:19:57.880 --> 0:20:01.639 day by day. It's just it's like eating ice cream 0:20:01.680 --> 0:20:08.280 every day without having to eat the spinach. It's pure joy. 0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:12.360 When I was growing up, she was always with me, 0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:14.560 like it was always she would pick me up from school, 0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:16.600 or she would take me somewhere and we would go 0:20:16.600 --> 0:20:19.760 to chuck e cheeses together or eat like ice cream 0:20:19.800 --> 0:20:24.000 sundays in bed. Eventually I was like, oh, this isn't normal. 0:20:24.800 --> 0:20:26.959 What was like? Oh yeah, like I saw Grammy today, 0:20:26.960 --> 0:20:29.200 like she brought me to a cooking class or something, 0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:31.680 And people like, oh yeah, Like I see my grandparents 0:20:31.760 --> 0:20:35.399 like once a year or like once every couple of months. 0:20:35.440 --> 0:20:38.480 And I still don't know many kids whose grandparents are 0:20:38.560 --> 0:20:41.719 in there every day live. You know. I call her 0:20:41.800 --> 0:20:44.280 most of the time, but she does call me occasionally, 0:20:44.760 --> 0:20:47.000 And when I get those phone calls, it's like a 0:20:47.080 --> 0:20:50.480 girl waiting for a boyfriend that she's been dying for 0:20:50.840 --> 0:20:53.920 him to call her, slacked by hot skips beats when 0:20:53.960 --> 0:20:57.240 she calls me. By the way, I passed a chuck 0:20:57.280 --> 0:21:00.000 e cheese today. You did is a big chucky cheese. 0:21:00.040 --> 0:21:03.199 I swear to God, we never ate there. I just 0:21:03.240 --> 0:21:05.040 want to make that very clear that we never ate 0:21:05.080 --> 0:21:07.840 at check e Cheeses. We just played the games. So 0:21:07.880 --> 0:21:09.400 we would go when I was little, and we would 0:21:09.480 --> 0:21:13.400 rack up tickets and we would just play like hours 0:21:13.440 --> 0:21:16.400 of ski ball and like hours of games in order 0:21:16.440 --> 0:21:18.560 to rack up as many points as we could. And 0:21:18.640 --> 0:21:20.920 we used to walk past the machines at kids left 0:21:20.920 --> 0:21:23.960 and the tickets would be hanging out. I got to 0:21:24.000 --> 0:21:27.200 take them. We've got a couple of hundred tickets every day, 0:21:27.359 --> 0:21:29.520 and so then we would collect them and how many 0:21:29.520 --> 0:21:33.840 tickets did we end up getting or something like that. Yeah, grammy, 0:21:33.840 --> 0:21:36.520 do you still have the tickets? Yes, I do when 0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:39.040 I diecause they're in the desk of the left hip drawer. 0:21:39.320 --> 0:21:41.360 All right, thank you, not dad, I'll buy a chuck 0:21:41.359 --> 0:21:48.960 e cheese and name it Sue's Sue's plays. That's the 0:21:49.040 --> 0:21:53.639 cutest thing. I love that relationship. And as lucky and 0:21:53.960 --> 0:21:57.080 the grandmother was, the grand daughter is twice as lucky 0:21:57.119 --> 0:22:00.159 to have as a grandmother. I have to say. I 0:22:00.280 --> 0:22:04.119 once said to my husband, I envy my grandchildren the 0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:09.120 relationship that we have with them, because I never had 0:22:09.160 --> 0:22:12.439 that with a grandparents. He he had, he had two 0:22:12.560 --> 0:22:16.240 very doting grandmothers. His grandmother came to stay with us 0:22:16.280 --> 0:22:18.000 for a week because she wanted to teach me how 0:22:18.040 --> 0:22:21.080 to cook. They were terrible cooks in that family. And 0:22:21.200 --> 0:22:26.000 she said to me, My murther always told me, before 0:22:26.080 --> 0:22:30.680 the husband comes home, vosh your face, put on a 0:22:30.880 --> 0:22:34.600 clean vest, and glean him at the dore me that kiss. 0:22:35.320 --> 0:22:37.160 I only greeted him at the door with a kiss, 0:22:37.200 --> 0:22:44.520 but I never you know, watch me, okay, were to 0:22:44.640 --> 0:22:49.840 get ready. This is a part six learning to slow 0:22:50.320 --> 0:22:55.399 down and smell the roses because you're mad here forem 0:22:55.400 --> 0:23:00.479 a sweetheart. Do you think that the women in my 0:23:00.520 --> 0:23:03.600 generation are missing out on anything? I don't think they 0:23:03.600 --> 0:23:06.560 have time to step back and smell the flowers like 0:23:06.640 --> 0:23:09.520 we did. I think life is much more difficult today. 0:23:09.840 --> 0:23:12.000 The women today wanted all of the law that have 0:23:12.119 --> 0:23:14.520 to have more than what we had because they need to. 0:23:15.000 --> 0:23:17.480 It comes to the family, and there's a lot of 0:23:17.520 --> 0:23:21.200 stress out there, really is. Yeah, I mean I agree 0:23:21.200 --> 0:23:24.560 with that. I think that the grammy never she always 0:23:24.560 --> 0:23:27.560 said that, like working seemed like such a fun kind 0:23:27.560 --> 0:23:30.800 of thing to do, and I think now that I'm working, 0:23:30.840 --> 0:23:33.160 I'm trying to step back at least a little bit 0:23:33.160 --> 0:23:37.439 more and realize that, like everything isn't moving so quickly, 0:23:37.760 --> 0:23:40.040 Like I'm twenty two now, and it's like, how am 0:23:40.040 --> 0:23:42.879 I twenty two? And so I'm trying to just like 0:23:43.359 --> 0:23:45.639 slow down a little bit and smell the roses for 0:23:45.760 --> 0:23:48.600 like at least a second, you know. I think, though, 0:23:49.000 --> 0:23:52.920 it's some way that raising my children and being there 0:23:53.119 --> 0:23:58.600 and participating in their activities was like my career. Yeah, 0:23:58.680 --> 0:24:00.159 and then she got to do it double with me, 0:24:00.680 --> 0:24:05.440