1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning. 2 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: This is Laura, Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:21,240 Speaker 1: tip is to find a go to question that helps 4 00:00:21,239 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 1: you connect meaningfully with people you know well and those 5 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: you have just met. We all want to connect, but 6 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:34,239 Speaker 1: sometimes our usual chit chat doesn't do it, and a default, 7 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 1: thoughtful first question can help. So. I was recently introduced 8 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:45,479 Speaker 1: to the new podcast Your Mama's Kitchen with host Michelle Norris. 9 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 1: On each episode of Your Mama's Kitchen, Norris interviews a 10 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,640 Speaker 1: person about the role of food and family in their 11 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: early life and its lasting impact on who they are today. 12 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: Norris begins each podcast simply by saying to her guest, 13 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:08,039 Speaker 1: tell me about your mama's kitchen. That's a question that's 14 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: bound to bring up something one way or another, and 15 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:15,440 Speaker 1: so the material gets good fast. In a similar vein 16 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 1: on the podcast On Being, host Krista Tippett starts each 17 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 1: interview by inviting her guests to tell her about what 18 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:27,200 Speaker 1: she calls the spiritual or religious background of their childhood. 19 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,959 Speaker 1: Both questions elicit early memories about a particular aspect of life. 20 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,399 Speaker 1: You get to know the person quickly, as they talk 21 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 1: about these foundational and specific to them, but also close 22 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: to universal experiences. Of course, you don't have to be 23 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 1: a professional interviewer to ask questions that lead to deep conversation. 24 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: Though it might not always be appropriate to ask random 25 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: people about their childhood spirituality. You do have to use 26 00:01:55,960 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 1: your judgment, but even so, a little thought, little trial 27 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,279 Speaker 1: and error can help you generate a great first question 28 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 1: if you are interested in the role of work and 29 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:12,000 Speaker 1: purpose in people's lives. When people refer to their jobs 30 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:15,840 Speaker 1: or volunteer commitments, you might ask what drew you to 31 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:19,920 Speaker 1: your work, or you could ask what was your first job? 32 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 1: Or even what did you learn at your first job 33 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 1: that is still helpful now? Whatever the context, it can 34 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,359 Speaker 1: be fun to ask people what surprised them about an 35 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:34,359 Speaker 1: experience they have just mentioned. This works for pretty much 36 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 1: anything new in their lives new job, new home, new baby, 37 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: new puppy, newly empty nesting, new bifocals. You can also 38 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 1: ask what was surprising about a conference or a class 39 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: reunion they attended recently, a city they just visited, a 40 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:56,880 Speaker 1: restaurant they tried, or many other experiences. It's a good 41 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 1: first question to follow onto any scrap of information that 42 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 1: you have been handed. I know of a person who 43 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:09,359 Speaker 1: routinely asks people what's been bringing them joy lately. Hopefully 44 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 1: a happy conversation will ensue after that. If you love traveling, 45 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:19,120 Speaker 1: when you encounter other people who love traveling, you can 46 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,560 Speaker 1: ask them if they have been on any great trips lately. 47 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:26,240 Speaker 1: The same is true for reading read any good books lately. 48 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 1: On the other podcast, I host Best of Both Worlds. 49 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,639 Speaker 1: My co host Sarah Hart Hunger and I often ask 50 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: our guests to describe a typical day in their lives. 51 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 1: We have found that our listeners love to know the 52 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 1: details and logistics about the lives of successful people, and 53 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 1: asking about a typical day offers a great window into 54 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 1: what a person's daily life actually looks like. So if 55 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 1: you want to deepen your interactions this year, finding a 56 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 1: few go to two big questions that invite the people 57 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: around you to share who they are and the stories 58 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 1: of their lives can be smart. I will note that 59 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: for people you see again and again, you obviously don't 60 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 1: want to ask the same question every time you talk. 61 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:19,680 Speaker 1: As someone who has been a repeat guest on some podcasts, 62 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: I know firsthand that you do sometimes need to rotate, 63 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 1: but if you have a few questions ready to go, 64 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:33,840 Speaker 1: you have tools for reliably nudging conversations along. You won't 65 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,159 Speaker 1: spend your life talking about the weather or how busy 66 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:41,039 Speaker 1: everyone is, and that is a good in its own right. 67 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 1: Do you have a favorite first question? You can let 68 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 1: me know about it at Laura at Laura Vanderkam dot com. 69 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 1: In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and 70 00:04:56,760 --> 00:05:06,719 Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for 71 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 1: listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, 72 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 1: you can reach me at Laura at Laura Vandercam dot com. 73 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts 74 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:30,000 Speaker 1: from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or 75 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.