1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,480 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha. I'm welcome to Stefan 2 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:20,439 Speaker 1: never told you a production of iHeartRadio. And today we 3 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: thought we would do a look back on when Samantha 4 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:28,680 Speaker 1: and I first got our start, our anniversary, our podiversary 5 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:28,960 Speaker 1: as you. 6 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 2: Really pod podcast of oursary podcast and it's more difficult, Okay, perfect. 7 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: That sounds about that's our evolution. No, but yeah, March 8 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:46,839 Speaker 1: twenty seconds was depending on when your listening, well it was, 9 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: it happened in the past. Oh my gosh. It was 10 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 1: the anniversary of our endeavor together as our coach are 11 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: together on this podcast. We launched in twenty nineteen, and 12 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 1: I just thought we would take a look look back 13 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 1: at that and see how things have changed, how we 14 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 1: feel about it. A brief content warning because when we 15 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 1: both started, we came out the gates strong with the 16 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: mini series on Trauma. It was a thirteen episode mini series. 17 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 1: I don't think we're gonna go too in depth into anything, 18 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 1: but you never know. It will be talked about at 19 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 1: least yes, but yeah, I know we've told this story before, 20 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 1: but very briefly after Bridget left there was a period 21 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 1: where I was just having guest co host all the time, 22 00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:40,040 Speaker 1: and we were looking for a new host. We had 23 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 1: like of spreadsheets of people we were asking, and I 24 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 1: believe that it just so happened. I came to a 25 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,920 Speaker 1: cheese night, a cheese and wine night at your place, 26 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 1: and it just sort of came up, like maybe because 27 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 1: I was you were doing your thing where you were 28 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,680 Speaker 1: asking me questions and I was like, oh, I've had 29 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:02,520 Speaker 1: this drama in my life. It just sort of came up, 30 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 1: like where do we go to talk about that? 31 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 2: Yeah? 32 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: Yes, and I know if you want to explain. I 33 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: know you've talked about it before, but you've told the 34 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,000 Speaker 1: listeners before. But you were good friends are good friends 35 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:16,480 Speaker 1: with previous host Caroline? Yes? 36 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, so I definitely. Again, this is one of those 37 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,000 Speaker 2: things when you go to a college around the same 38 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:25,280 Speaker 2: year you realize you have a lot more in common 39 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 2: and then like people crossover and it becomes a small 40 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:31,639 Speaker 2: world essentially, because I actually knew Kristin as well previously, 41 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 2: because her older sister and I are very close and 42 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 2: we met at Uga University of Georgia, so we kind 43 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 2: of met through that avenue and that was kind of like, oh, 44 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 2: she's a secondary friend of mine essentially because sister of 45 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 2: my good friend who she's gonna come and we're gonna 46 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 2: go see lay this this year. I'm really excited because 47 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 2: we love those we love that musical anyway, Anna, and 48 00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 2: are so excited. But and on the other end, I 49 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 2: met Caroline. I'm through friend of a friend who I 50 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 2: had known for a while that because of Uga, like 51 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:09,440 Speaker 2: we actually had same friend group in Athens, which is 52 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 2: where Uga is. And then we came to Atlanta and 53 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:14,800 Speaker 2: we all started hanging out because again, you know, you 54 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 2: leave college and how do you make friends. You have 55 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 2: to reconnect. And I met Caroline, and from I think 56 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 2: our first interaction, which was was like this was when 57 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,200 Speaker 2: I was actually sociable and cute and I'm like, oh, 58 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:29,280 Speaker 2: let's be friends whatever whatnot. And I realized that she 59 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 2: was working with Kristen and so I was like, oh 60 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 2: my god, you know, small world, let's be friends. And 61 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 2: from then on, I met you through her, which the 62 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 2: first time we met was at her she had just 63 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,119 Speaker 2: finished her book unladylike at the time, and she had 64 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 2: literally kind of just holed away and I had not 65 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 2: seen her, and she decided to have a giant celebration 66 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 2: two because she was actually finished and I met you 67 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 2: and Sarah and I met y'all at the same time, 68 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,360 Speaker 2: and then we started hanging out slowly. I'm trying to 69 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,680 Speaker 2: remember how you ended up getting invited to my cheese night, Like, 70 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 2: I'm sure I invited you, but I can't remember the beforehand. 71 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,279 Speaker 2: What's that beforehand? 72 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 1: Well, okay, first of all, I remember meeting you because 73 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 1: you did the thing that I complained about with people 74 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 1: with dogs, where you were like I have to go 75 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:27,719 Speaker 1: because yes, And it was like right outside, I was like, 76 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:28,920 Speaker 1: you haven't bit here that long. 77 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 2: Yes, I was making a quick escape because my like 78 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:39,479 Speaker 2: introvert self was creeping and like overtaking that I need friends. 79 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,680 Speaker 2: But at that age, I think what was I I 80 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 2: was like, right, thirty five? How long ago was this? 81 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,279 Speaker 2: It was five six years ago? 82 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:50,480 Speaker 1: Who'd been like, yeah, twenty seventeen, maybe. 83 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,800 Speaker 2: Twenty seventeen, So I was thirty seven, so I was 84 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:53,599 Speaker 2: getting late thirties at this point, and I was like, yeah, 85 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 2: I'm done. I will be here for a second. There's 86 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,240 Speaker 2: a lot of people I don't know, and there was 87 00:04:57,279 --> 00:04:59,160 Speaker 2: tons of people that I did not know very well, 88 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,680 Speaker 2: and I'm like, I am liking this lesson less so 89 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,600 Speaker 2: I will stay here to celebrate with you for a 90 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:07,680 Speaker 2: good hour and a half, because you also came in lait, miss, 91 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,720 Speaker 2: so don't even start with me. You and Sarah came 92 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,680 Speaker 2: in late because y'all are late people and I'm an 93 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 2: on time person. So after a couple hours, like, I'm 94 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,640 Speaker 2: gone bye. I got a dog's take care of and 95 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,920 Speaker 2: I think i'd already my friend's already know I'll find 96 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,920 Speaker 2: an excuse, and I love my dog, so let's go. 97 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,560 Speaker 2: So I left and I didn't interact with you very 98 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,840 Speaker 2: long at that point. I remember Caroline had pointed you 99 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 2: out and said, you really should. I wish you would 100 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 2: have been able to hang out to get to know them. 101 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 2: They had gotten there late, and I believe y'all come 102 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,520 Speaker 2: from a different location of having a good time. 103 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 1: Well, the way it happened for me, this is absolutely true, 104 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 1: and it's gonna sound like a lie. I was walking 105 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 1: home from our office, and yes, our coworker friend Sarah, 106 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,919 Speaker 1: she just passed by me on the street and stopped 107 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:06,200 Speaker 1: and yelled get in the car, and I did. But 108 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 1: I had no idea what was happening. So I did 109 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 1: not come from any good times. I was coming from 110 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 1: work and I didn't even know we were going to 111 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: this until Sarah explained it. 112 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 2: That's hilarious. That's about right, because I didn't know that part. 113 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,839 Speaker 2: Like all these things happen, I'm trying to still remember 114 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 2: in between that and the Cheese Night, because it was 115 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:32,360 Speaker 2: definitely like, I know, y'all came to the brewery and 116 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 2: we got to really like you were very quick to 117 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:38,280 Speaker 2: be like, hey, we're the We're the Sad Dad Club essentially. 118 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 1: And we were all hanging out. 119 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, we were all hanging out at the brewery on 120 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:46,040 Speaker 2: Father's Day. I was working and you two came in 121 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 2: and then that like led to other things including y'all 122 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,280 Speaker 2: getting a brewery tour, having Savor come to that as well, 123 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,239 Speaker 2: so so many things, but I don't remember from where 124 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,279 Speaker 2: how we got to that to being at the Cheese 125 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 2: Night where like making you bear your soul to me 126 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:06,159 Speaker 2: essentially because I get to know people. 127 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:09,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean making me is pretty stung. But you 128 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 1: definitely were like if you would like and I was like, 129 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 1: I guess I would. I think what it was a 130 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 1: it was a bunch of things happened where we would 131 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 1: run into each other. I think the Savor video thing, 132 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 1: I'd forgotten about that where the other podcast on Savor 133 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 1: we did a kind of video at the brewery Samantha 134 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:35,080 Speaker 1: worked out at the time, And we also had a 135 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 1: couple of other events where we were both there in 136 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 1: some of your friends that I didn't really know at 137 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,480 Speaker 1: the time. Didn't we get you were there when we 138 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 1: went to Southern Comfort, right, yes? 139 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 2: And I forgot you were there because Dominique, a good 140 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 2: friend of mine, also was there and she had actually 141 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,920 Speaker 2: had pictures of you, and I was like, I forgot, 142 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 2: I had forgotten all of this. And it was a 143 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 2: good time. We had a great time. I remember there 144 00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 2: was another night where it wasn't such a good time 145 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 2: because it was chaos. It was chaos. So we had 146 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,000 Speaker 2: a couple of nights, yes, we did. So. Southern Comfort 147 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 2: is an Atlanta establishment that has now gone unfortunately that 148 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 2: essentially is a truck stop that turns into a hipster 149 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 2: karaoke night on Wednesdays, So I mean on Wednesdays on 150 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 2: Sundays oddly enough, and we when I was actually cool 151 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 2: and hung out outside of my house, we would actually go. 152 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 2: But yeah, it's been we had so many hangouts. Like 153 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,920 Speaker 2: everything is blurred, Everything is blurred, and then it came 154 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,160 Speaker 2: to that night of me having because I loved having 155 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,120 Speaker 2: cheese nights at my apartment, having a bunch of people 156 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:37,800 Speaker 2: over and just having a good night, and you stayed 157 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:41,079 Speaker 2: later than everyone. Callen was there too at one point, 158 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:42,079 Speaker 2: and then she left. 159 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, uh. 160 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 2: And then you and I just sat and talked about 161 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,439 Speaker 2: what was happening, you being a part of the podcast, 162 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:54,320 Speaker 2: what that looked like, because I actually was it. Oh yeah, 163 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,520 Speaker 2: I guess I had met you previously in between all this, 164 00:08:56,559 --> 00:09:01,720 Speaker 2: when you had started with Bridget Yeah yeah, and Caroline yes, 165 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,720 Speaker 2: in Atlanta, and I forgot all of this, but like 166 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 2: it was previously before, way before, I guess, a year before, 167 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,199 Speaker 2: two years before, so we must have been hanging out 168 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,480 Speaker 2: for a good minute after the fact. And then we 169 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:18,000 Speaker 2: just started talking about what you'd experienced, the job that 170 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,959 Speaker 2: I have, what I've experienced, and then we talked about, 171 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 2: you know, the me too movement, and I think I 172 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 2: had already been reading on Twitter where people were getting 173 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 2: annoyed by the word trigger trigger warning, and I was 174 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:35,719 Speaker 2: like that, so, like, I get people not liking catchphrases 175 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:40,960 Speaker 2: essentially or things that are overused, but this is actually 176 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,320 Speaker 2: necessary and I think should have been something from the jump, 177 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 2: because we talked about like TV ratings and music readings 178 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:51,600 Speaker 2: and how that came about eventually, but like having that 179 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:54,840 Speaker 2: conversation of what that looks like and trying to talk about, 180 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,800 Speaker 2: let's talk about something that's really important to you and 181 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 2: to me as well, is the fact that this is 182 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 2: something that I can walk with you in your trauma 183 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:10,559 Speaker 2: process and we can do this as being a transparent 184 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 2: duo in a way that I can be your support 185 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 2: as a social work friend, so I know this route 186 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,559 Speaker 2: as well as talk about my own stuff and then 187 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 2: just explore what that looks like on a deeper meaning. 188 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 2: And that was essentially it. I think at this point 189 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,160 Speaker 2: is when I was like, and also, I'm crying every 190 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 2: day from my work. Let me see if I can 191 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 2: find something less traumatic. 192 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:48,599 Speaker 1: And so we met up at a local restaurant and 193 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:51,559 Speaker 1: we came up with an outline of episodes we wanted 194 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:55,600 Speaker 1: to do. It quickly ballooned into more than that, but 195 00:10:56,520 --> 00:11:00,320 Speaker 1: we decided, Okay, we're going to do this mini series 196 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:10,600 Speaker 1: on trauma, and and we were very looking back at it, 197 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,240 Speaker 1: I do think we were very good at being like, Okay, 198 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 1: this is going to be really difficult for us, and 199 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,800 Speaker 1: so we had things in there that we don't do 200 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,959 Speaker 1: anymore but were important for that mini series of like 201 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 1: checking in what are you doing to take care of yourself? 202 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 1: They were very intensive episodes in terms of the interviews 203 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 1: we did and then the way we would make the outline. 204 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,839 Speaker 1: We would get a transcript and then we would search 205 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:45,040 Speaker 1: for quotes, and so I know you did, but I 206 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: was looking back over the outlines and they were pretty intensive, right. 207 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 2: I remember thinking like as I was going through the outline, 208 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,400 Speaker 2: seeing all the different subjects that we had and the 209 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,640 Speaker 2: conversations that we had with different people, which I'm like, man, 210 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 2: we had some really great guests. Yeah, and then I'm like, 211 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,200 Speaker 2: we have to replay these because these were so good, Like, 212 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 2: these were so good, I think we should be replayed 213 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 2: every two years. But I've been through. I was like yeah. 214 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 2: And that was when Andrew was our producer at the time. 215 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 2: Poor dude. I'm like, are you okay? Are you hearing 216 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 2: our stories? Are you traumatized for us? Okay? Great with us, 217 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 2: rather but like going through those transcripts and bring it 218 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 2: to us and be like, Okay, here it is. This 219 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,199 Speaker 2: is what it looks like. W how do you want 220 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:28,320 Speaker 2: to do this? And being really like open to everything, 221 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,680 Speaker 2: we asked like everything we went needed to do with 222 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,440 Speaker 2: the bonus episodes because it is a lot of work 223 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:37,760 Speaker 2: and it was extra for him with those interviews pasting 224 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 2: back and forth because we were like, we want this here, 225 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 2: we want this here, which now our interviews are a 226 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,280 Speaker 2: little different because we just do it directly and go 227 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:48,600 Speaker 2: along with it. Right those trauma episodes, we definitely had 228 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:51,600 Speaker 2: such a plan that we wanted to make sure that 229 00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:55,360 Speaker 2: everything was highlighted and nothing was watered down. So we 230 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:58,280 Speaker 2: took all those things that we thought were really significant 231 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,719 Speaker 2: into those conversations. But then we would try to come 232 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 2: back with some of those interviews again. Like my favorite 233 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:07,560 Speaker 2: still is that bonus episode did with Renee and Rebecca, 234 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 2: and we spliced the two interviews so you could hear 235 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 2: the personal experience with the research and data. I think 236 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,000 Speaker 2: it's still one of our best episodes and we barely 237 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 2: talked in it. 238 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 1: And I used that a lot in our book. Yeah, 239 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 1: I referred back to it so that that episode sticks 240 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:24,720 Speaker 1: up to me too. 241 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that's something that I think it 242 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,440 Speaker 2: was so important because not only was Rebecca willing to 243 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:35,160 Speaker 2: share her experience which many women, many victims rather and 244 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:40,200 Speaker 2: survivors have had, but also having Renee who had done 245 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:43,600 Speaker 2: all the work and research about the backlog of rape 246 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:46,560 Speaker 2: kits and coming in being like, yeah, this is verified. 247 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:48,920 Speaker 2: This is absolutely what is happening in the system, and 248 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 2: not much has changed over five years. Nothing has really changed, 249 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,280 Speaker 2: And I think that was something that was important to us. 250 00:13:56,360 --> 00:14:00,280 Speaker 2: Our transparency with the therapy session, which actually I feel 251 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,880 Speaker 2: like that was a catalyst to what I'm like, we 252 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:07,440 Speaker 2: need to do this to do because we wanted to 253 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:12,839 Speaker 2: normalize trauma therapy. We wanted to open and not that 254 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,240 Speaker 2: you don't need therapy for everything, you should have therapy 255 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:19,680 Speaker 2: for everything, but having a conversation because one of the 256 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 2: first things you had told me was that you had 257 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 2: done therapy once it was so traumatic that you could 258 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 2: not do it again. Like you're like, I'd have to 259 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 2: be in a good place. I do think I need it, 260 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 2: but these are the things that I can't do, and 261 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 2: me sitting here going like, oh my god, let's talk 262 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,120 Speaker 2: about this because this is You're not the only one, 263 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:42,200 Speaker 2: and this is what this looks like, and we need 264 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 2: to have that depth of conversation of why it's important 265 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,840 Speaker 2: to have a good therapist, and we made sure to 266 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 2: have that as part of our episode, as well as 267 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 2: the fact that I did the research on finding doctor 268 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:58,840 Speaker 2: Coleman and her specialty as well as her availability. And 269 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,800 Speaker 2: I think she did an amazing I really really did 270 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:02,760 Speaker 2: like her. When I stopped doing therapy, I wanted to 271 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,240 Speaker 2: come back to her, but she was overbooked. I was like, 272 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 2: of course she is. She just she's just good and 273 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 2: she works a lot with trauma and survivors, and I 274 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,080 Speaker 2: thought that was so important. And also she works with 275 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 2: the queer community as well as a lot of marginalized communities. 276 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,920 Speaker 2: And it was not all these things that were like, yeah, 277 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,800 Speaker 2: this is the requirement, let's let's have this on top 278 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 2: of the fact that therapy has kind of has changed, 279 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 2: like that was the beginning of telehealth. Yeah, honestly, like 280 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 2: at the forefront of it, I think better help was coming, 281 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 2: but it wasn't accessible to everyone. And not that we're 282 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 2: not that's not an ad, that's not a sponsor. We 283 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,360 Speaker 2: know there's a lot of problems with it. You need 284 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,680 Speaker 2: to be very very careful of who you pick and 285 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,240 Speaker 2: choose for your therapy, and you need to be able 286 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:51,240 Speaker 2: to shop around, like that's a worldwide truth when it 287 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,760 Speaker 2: comes to therapists in general, and you have to find 288 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,640 Speaker 2: someone who was specialized for you. But all of that 289 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 2: to say is that that's one of the things that 290 00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 2: we wanted to talk about, how to find a good 291 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,800 Speaker 2: thing therapist, what it looks like to have good therapy, 292 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:05,000 Speaker 2: and the fact that sometimes you just get stuck, and 293 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,560 Speaker 2: not all of it's going to be emotional. Some of 294 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:08,600 Speaker 2: it is emotional. I think both of ours were emotional 295 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:14,720 Speaker 2: for two different reasons, but we wanted to also be 296 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:19,360 Speaker 2: the example and what that therapy session may look like. 297 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 2: And doctor Coleman was a trooper. I swear like she 298 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,040 Speaker 2: was like, let's go, and she she was making sure 299 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 2: that we were okay throughout the process as well, and 300 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,320 Speaker 2: I love that. But I think that honestly was the 301 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,200 Speaker 2: beginning of like, Okay, you've been through this trauma thing, 302 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,200 Speaker 2: this was your response, and this is where we are, 303 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,120 Speaker 2: and this is how we're talking about it as a society. 304 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,560 Speaker 2: Let's break this down a little bit. I don't think 305 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 2: it was like from my job, my introduction to podcasts. 306 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:48,160 Speaker 2: I felt comfortable in that it was at least in 307 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 2: my field right. I don't think I could have come 308 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 2: in talking about religious trauma, because that's a whole different conversation, 309 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 2: you know, like coming in and having that kind of 310 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,280 Speaker 2: break down and having a moment to be like, Okay, yes, 311 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,320 Speaker 2: this is something I know. This is something that I've seen. 312 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 2: And I can talk to you about grooming as a 313 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:10,000 Speaker 2: professional because I've seen it. I can tell you what 314 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 2: it looks like. I've experienced that you've experienced it. But 315 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,720 Speaker 2: let's talk about the professional level. Let's talk about c 316 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:18,360 Speaker 2: SEC or the commercially sexually explorted children and what that 317 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:22,080 Speaker 2: looks like. And we need to have this better view 318 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:26,680 Speaker 2: of trafficking because this and I hate the word romanticizing, 319 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:30,400 Speaker 2: but it is kind of a romanticizing of what sex 320 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,000 Speaker 2: trafficking looks like today and the fact that we need 321 00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:34,919 Speaker 2: like no, no, no, no, no, we need to have a 322 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,640 Speaker 2: true breakdown of what this looks like because it's an 323 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:41,240 Speaker 2: intersectional issue that people don't want to see. People just 324 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:44,880 Speaker 2: see victims. Oh no, help the victims. And it's all 325 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:49,480 Speaker 2: poor white children, poor white women who just got kidnapped. 326 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,879 Speaker 2: And that's like sometimes that happens, sure, but that's the 327 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,080 Speaker 2: majority of the case. And this is an intersectional issue, 328 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 2: which oftentimes is like dropped by the justice system because 329 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,680 Speaker 2: they of that one type and do not believe any 330 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,960 Speaker 2: other types exist, which is a problem. So all these 331 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 2: things were like, these are so important, let's just build 332 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 2: on it. So I got so excited because these are 333 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,200 Speaker 2: things that I have dealt with but didn't have a 334 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:19,040 Speaker 2: platform to talk about or talk through. So I feel 335 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:22,439 Speaker 2: like that was a good introduction, a heavy introduction, but 336 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,879 Speaker 2: good for me, especially as I was like stepping away 337 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:32,720 Speaker 2: from actual practice into like this medium, which was and 338 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,720 Speaker 2: I think I joked about this before because Caroline a 339 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:40,280 Speaker 2: long time ago, and I sat on her patio. I 340 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 2: was crying it on her patio because I was distraught 341 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,840 Speaker 2: because a I was making thirty two thousand, No, at 342 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,960 Speaker 2: that point, there was maybe twenty nine thousand a year 343 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:53,080 Speaker 2: living in Atlanta and not knowing how to move on 344 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,640 Speaker 2: from all the debt that I had trying to do 345 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,399 Speaker 2: social work, as well as the fact that I could 346 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:03,760 Speaker 2: not imagine anything else because I had that guilt that 347 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:07,240 Speaker 2: I had to help everyone, help the children, help the marginalized. 348 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:10,879 Speaker 2: I have to help them, and that meant sacrificing my 349 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,159 Speaker 2: mental health, my physical health. So all of that and 350 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:15,959 Speaker 2: sitting there and she kind of was like, you want 351 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,320 Speaker 2: to do podcasting? And I was like, no, oh my god, 352 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 2: I could never. Like I actually said that to her 353 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:26,560 Speaker 2: jump cut to cut too, like literally five years later, 354 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,439 Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, I think I do. Actually, I'll just 355 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,560 Speaker 2: take yours s takes. I'm just kidding, but like having 356 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:35,399 Speaker 2: this conversation because I could not imagine what that looked like, 357 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:42,080 Speaker 2: being an advocate without sacrificing my physical and mental well being, 358 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:46,400 Speaker 2: and then coming to that, to being introduced into a platform, 359 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:51,200 Speaker 2: to this platform and being able to talk about and 360 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:56,480 Speaker 2: correct misinformation, hopefully correct some disinformation, and then also bring 361 00:19:56,520 --> 00:20:00,639 Speaker 2: awareness to this with you, like with you having me 362 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,600 Speaker 2: having all the facts and the research behind it. 363 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:10,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, looking back at it, it's we did. We did 364 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:14,199 Speaker 1: a great job of finding people to talk to. We 365 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:19,880 Speaker 1: had amazing interviews, cutting those interviews together across this thirteen 366 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:25,119 Speaker 1: episode mini series, but also being we gave those facts, 367 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,760 Speaker 1: but we also gave kind of the the emotional part 368 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:32,199 Speaker 1: of it are our own personal part of it. And 369 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 1: one of the reasons why it stands out to me 370 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,919 Speaker 1: is that if you're asking, well, why don't you do 371 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,760 Speaker 1: that anymore? Is because it took forever, like we started 372 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:47,400 Speaker 1: working on it months before it came out, and when 373 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,359 Speaker 1: you have a show that publishes as much as we do, 374 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:55,639 Speaker 1: that can be impossible. Are very very difficult to do 375 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:59,040 Speaker 1: because at the time we didn't know Samantha was going 376 00:20:59,119 --> 00:20:59,640 Speaker 1: to stay on. 377 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,119 Speaker 2: So oh, apparently I did because I was pushing real hard. 378 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:08,359 Speaker 1: You did. You kept joking about it, and you know, 379 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,280 Speaker 1: I that's not to say I love what we do now, 380 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:15,640 Speaker 1: It's just like the realities of our workload is different. 381 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 1: It's different. 382 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,960 Speaker 2: Literally when from two episodes a week to five to 383 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:24,760 Speaker 2: six as well as your one episode would saver two 384 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:30,360 Speaker 2: two yep, everything double tripled since then. 385 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:35,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and I think, you know, we there are 386 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,560 Speaker 1: ways we could maybe do it again in the future. 387 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,440 Speaker 1: I'm just it would be difficult. It would be really difficult. 388 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 1: But when I think about this, it also really did 389 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:48,640 Speaker 1: change my life. I mean, not only did I get you, yeah, 390 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,920 Speaker 1: but I did. That was kind of my first therapy, 391 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:57,040 Speaker 1: like actual sticking with therapy for for a long time. 392 00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,520 Speaker 1: And then there are just so many things things that 393 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:04,560 Speaker 1: I think about that I still think about that I 394 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:09,720 Speaker 1: learned from that from that mini series. There are people 395 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:11,960 Speaker 1: I still think about people that we interviewed that I 396 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:16,360 Speaker 1: still just stuck with me obviously because when I did 397 00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:19,000 Speaker 1: the rape Kit chapter, I referenced it because that was 398 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:23,560 Speaker 1: so that was such a powerful episode to me. And 399 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:26,639 Speaker 1: then we talked about like hiking. I still think about 400 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:31,800 Speaker 1: that interview we did. They're still around, we should be 401 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,399 Speaker 1: back in. We should read Jessica. I think she's in 402 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:40,280 Speaker 1: Florida now though, well you know the podcast it back. 403 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,359 Speaker 2: Would we still have to play that game with Renee, 404 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:48,800 Speaker 2: I know Suffragetto. Yeah, yes, maybe we'll do a long 405 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,560 Speaker 2: running series on something less dramatic and just be games 406 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:52,840 Speaker 2: and we just play them. 407 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:57,439 Speaker 1: I would love that. I would love that. Somehow we 408 00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,440 Speaker 1: would make it dramatic. I don't know how. 409 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,280 Speaker 2: I'm really good at that. 410 00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:18,919 Speaker 1: We are well anyway. Also, I just want to shout 411 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,720 Speaker 1: out before I forget, because we don't say it enough. 412 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:26,080 Speaker 1: But when Christina came on much at later, Christina, you 413 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:30,159 Speaker 1: have been amazing and valuable. We love you. Every person 414 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,680 Speaker 1: we've worked with has been so great and listening. I 415 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,959 Speaker 1: remember after I did my therapy thing, Andrew came in 416 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 1: and like sat with me for a minute, like so 417 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:42,480 Speaker 1: very kind. People were lucky to do because these topics 418 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,919 Speaker 1: can be really difficult. And I will say one of 419 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:52,399 Speaker 1: the things when I think back now is that I, 420 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,320 Speaker 1: first of all, didn't know I was a sexual yet 421 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,879 Speaker 1: when we did this, I think I was starting to 422 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:02,800 Speaker 1: think maybe, but I didn't know that. So that has 423 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,320 Speaker 1: really changed. And some of the stuff I talk about 424 00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:09,919 Speaker 1: in those like personally have my understanding of them have 425 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:14,160 Speaker 1: shifted because of that. Another thing I will say is that, 426 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:19,040 Speaker 1: and I know I said this in the Trauma Mini series, 427 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 1: but I some things I like, I'm afraid people had 428 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,199 Speaker 1: come from a small town, they would know who I 429 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,159 Speaker 1: was talking about, right, And I was kind of living 430 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:34,560 Speaker 1: under this hope no one will find it and no 431 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,639 Speaker 1: one will listen to it if they do, which I 432 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,520 Speaker 1: think is sort of showing how I never use social 433 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:44,719 Speaker 1: media but like everyone else does, which is, you know, fine. 434 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:48,640 Speaker 1: But it was when my mom read the book. Actually, 435 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,760 Speaker 1: the thing that scared me more than her reading the 436 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,439 Speaker 1: book was she would listen to this mini series. So 437 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,359 Speaker 1: I think what I talk about in here is I 438 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,440 Speaker 1: hate to compare traumas in my life, but I think 439 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:03,400 Speaker 1: when I talk about and here scarred me way worse. 440 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:05,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, And she would. 441 00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:08,320 Speaker 1: Be more upset by that, and so after she was like, oh, 442 00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:09,919 Speaker 1: I should go listen to your podcast, and I was like, 443 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,280 Speaker 1: please don't, please, don't, please don't. So I think that 444 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,359 Speaker 1: is one of the things that I'm glad that we 445 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 1: did it. There's nothing I regret, but some nights I 446 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,600 Speaker 1: lay awake thinking about it. Right. 447 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,639 Speaker 2: I remember having that conversation with you about who's going 448 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,639 Speaker 2: to listen and both of us having a moment of like, 449 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 2: oh my god, what if have parents listen? But between 450 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:31,159 Speaker 2: the two of us, your parents are more likely to 451 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:35,600 Speaker 2: listen than mine, your mother specifically, And it was also 452 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:39,440 Speaker 2: before your father's death. I remember thinking that it was 453 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,479 Speaker 2: around your father's death, but it wasn't hadn't happened yet, 454 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,720 Speaker 2: so you still had a lot of that trauma lingering 455 00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:49,359 Speaker 2: over you as well, and the relationships with some of 456 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,800 Speaker 2: your family members were rocky even then. I'm like, I 457 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:57,320 Speaker 2: know it's still constant, but like you've gotten leaps and 458 00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:02,040 Speaker 2: bounds into where you were then versus and especially with 459 00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,920 Speaker 2: like you be able to talk to them, to where 460 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:06,680 Speaker 2: you are today. And again, like part of that was 461 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,920 Speaker 2: your sexuality and trying to figure all that out, which 462 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:11,280 Speaker 2: I was learning with you. I was like, oh, I 463 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,000 Speaker 2: thought I knew. Apparently I didn't because you I think 464 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,439 Speaker 2: you said it to me actually on one day the 465 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,439 Speaker 2: couch thing, and I was like, oh, geese nine. I 466 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:19,639 Speaker 2: was like, this is what it is, right, and you 467 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,960 Speaker 2: were like, you didn't want to tell me I was wrong. 468 00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:27,040 Speaker 2: But after we started, I was like, oh, I was hong, okay, cool, cool. 469 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:27,760 Speaker 1: You're like wow. 470 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:32,479 Speaker 2: And then growing through that because I think you were 471 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,640 Speaker 2: trying to figure all of that out, like, and that's 472 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,800 Speaker 2: something we talk about in here about coping and good 473 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,119 Speaker 2: coping and coming to being the survivor what that looks like, 474 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:45,119 Speaker 2: but trying to decipher what was trauma, what is something 475 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,240 Speaker 2: that it's just you, like that's part of your identity, 476 00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:51,400 Speaker 2: and you were really having a kind of a come 477 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,359 Speaker 2: to I guess I'm trying to figure out because it 478 00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:56,480 Speaker 2: wasn't like dramatic, but understanding that just because there's trauma 479 00:26:56,520 --> 00:27:00,199 Speaker 2: related to that doesn't mean it negates that identity. Like 480 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:04,800 Speaker 2: all these things were swirling. I remember with you trying 481 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:08,760 Speaker 2: to get to that point, and like part of that 482 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,960 Speaker 2: is also discovering still a lot of that and also 483 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,760 Speaker 2: about the fluidity of it all, which is awesome because 484 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:20,399 Speaker 2: like spectrums are better, you know, in conversations when we 485 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:24,240 Speaker 2: talk about all of that, and then finding identity is 486 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,960 Speaker 2: also a gloring thing. It's like it was a whole process, 487 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,720 Speaker 2: and I'm glad I got to stick around because I 488 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,879 Speaker 2: wouldn't have been able to see that because even though 489 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,840 Speaker 2: we were talking, you were still hinting at it in 490 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,320 Speaker 2: the Trauma series. It didn't come out till much later 491 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,560 Speaker 2: and all like, oh, I'm learning, I've learned a lot, 492 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:44,040 Speaker 2: still learning a lot. I love that and finding that 493 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,040 Speaker 2: journey in itself because we did we got to examine 494 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:50,159 Speaker 2: a lot about ourselves, but also being able to be 495 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 2: clinical about it a little bit. Having that data was 496 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:59,239 Speaker 2: a good separation and also like a validation in what 497 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:00,520 Speaker 2: we were trying to feel here out. 498 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,520 Speaker 1: I believe one of the people we interviewed called it mesearch. 499 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:10,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, they did, You're right, which is great, which 500 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,800 Speaker 2: is a great reference to what we did. And I'm 501 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,359 Speaker 2: proud of what we did. I think I'll look at 502 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:18,920 Speaker 2: that series is more of like, yeah, that that defined 503 00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:20,600 Speaker 2: us as a show. 504 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:27,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm proud of it too. And the thing we 505 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:31,359 Speaker 1: joke about it a lot on here, but it's absolutely true. 506 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,080 Speaker 1: There's a running joke the podcasters prayers, please don't judge 507 00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:38,400 Speaker 1: me for my first fifty episode, which you know sounds 508 00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:41,280 Speaker 1: like a lot, But you came in never doing this before, 509 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,080 Speaker 1: and this was what we tackled, and you did a 510 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:47,800 Speaker 1: great job. And I, like, I thought I was worried 511 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,600 Speaker 1: I would look back and be proud but still be 512 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,960 Speaker 1: like oh, But instead I was like, you know, yeah, 513 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 1: we were still nervous kind of. I don't think you 514 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,760 Speaker 1: could really hear it, but I could tell just based 515 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:05,400 Speaker 1: on for me how anxious I was like, because you 516 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,800 Speaker 1: never know how someone's going to react to something like 517 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 1: that and what messages you're going to get. And by 518 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:11,880 Speaker 1: the way, you listeners are amazing. 519 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:13,720 Speaker 2: Right, That was the other part of this. It was 520 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,400 Speaker 2: like I came in not knowing how to do this, 521 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:18,560 Speaker 2: and I think immediately I was like, I need a 522 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:20,960 Speaker 2: vocal coach and I need to acting coach. Who are 523 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:24,840 Speaker 2: and I still haven't like obvious, But the amount of 524 00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:28,440 Speaker 2: people who are criticizing me was so overwhelming, but the 525 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:32,280 Speaker 2: amount of people who were backing me was just conquered 526 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:35,120 Speaker 2: all of that, Like the people who are longtime listeners 527 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,320 Speaker 2: who were supporting me then and signing in so excited 528 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:40,480 Speaker 2: you're on, so glad you got to stay. We loved 529 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:46,840 Speaker 2: your portion like that outdid the criticism for the most part. 530 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:50,000 Speaker 2: Like of course I'm still always like the self esteem issues. 531 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:55,000 Speaker 2: But having the listeners, you listeners really backing what we 532 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,080 Speaker 2: were doing and seeing where we were coming from and 533 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:02,720 Speaker 2: understanding and empathizing with what we were trying to show 534 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,960 Speaker 2: in a time that felt really really rocky, and it 535 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:09,600 Speaker 2: was Trump era. I mean, it was a rough time 536 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,480 Speaker 2: and we were all broken, and we wanted to talk 537 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:16,960 Speaker 2: about something that the reason why things like his presidency, 538 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:21,480 Speaker 2: his actions and his supporters' actions were so traumatic, and 539 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:26,440 Speaker 2: why things like the trauma series, trigger warnings therapy were 540 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:31,400 Speaker 2: so important, and so having people who understood that, Yes, 541 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,160 Speaker 2: we lost, we lost some, that's how it happens, but 542 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,360 Speaker 2: we gained so much more and the people who had 543 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,760 Speaker 2: always stood by us to the people who discovered us 544 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:42,240 Speaker 2: like it was it was. It felt like a victory 545 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:47,360 Speaker 2: and it was so uplifting that it kept us going 546 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,480 Speaker 2: and it makes us make keeps us going to have 547 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,600 Speaker 2: conversations and honest conversations like this and not feel afraid. 548 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:55,920 Speaker 2: We talked about in cells. Oh my god, I know 549 00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:56,680 Speaker 2: a few times. 550 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:04,600 Speaker 1: I know. Yeah, yeah, podcasting can feel really lonely sometimes 551 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,480 Speaker 1: just because it's you and me Samantha coming from our 552 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:13,160 Speaker 1: homes over computer and you put it out there and 553 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,840 Speaker 1: you're like, I don't know, People like is it good? 554 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:19,360 Speaker 1: If is it worth anything? And I can hear you 555 00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:21,400 Speaker 1: saying like you should put some value in your own work, 556 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,960 Speaker 1: and I do, but it's nice to have someone else 557 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:30,800 Speaker 1: be like, yes, that's had some value to me, right, yeah. 558 00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,280 Speaker 2: I mean, but to be honest, when it comes to podcasting, 559 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:36,360 Speaker 2: we're not doing this for us. 560 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:37,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, exactly. 561 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,200 Speaker 2: It can't be that way. If it's that way, of course, 562 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:43,480 Speaker 2: we are selfishly picking things that are of interest to 563 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:47,200 Speaker 2: us or things that that affects us as marginalized people's 564 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 2: and then talking about it because we want to talk 565 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,720 Speaker 2: about it because we think it's important bringing people who 566 00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:55,680 Speaker 2: have things that they need to say, have things that 567 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,960 Speaker 2: they need to share. 568 00:31:58,680 --> 00:31:58,920 Speaker 1: Like that. 569 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:03,240 Speaker 2: Absolutely, But the podcast is like there's ownership by the listeners, 570 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,840 Speaker 2: and it should be that way that we want you 571 00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:09,640 Speaker 2: to tell us if something is wrong, or if something 572 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,680 Speaker 2: is a misinformation, or if something is something that you 573 00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,800 Speaker 2: feel like you can't find and you need us to 574 00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:17,880 Speaker 2: look deeper into it, or if you love it and 575 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:19,840 Speaker 2: you want us talk about it so we can highlight it. 576 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:22,680 Speaker 2: We love that. Like that's the fact of the matter 577 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 2: is it is lonely and sometimes I forget what we 578 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:27,400 Speaker 2: do because I'm like, oh, yeah, this is my job. 579 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:34,800 Speaker 2: But to have the listeners, you our family, essentially the 580 00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,120 Speaker 2: Smanty family come back with. But these are the things 581 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:40,440 Speaker 2: that are also important to us. That is the bigger picture, 582 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,360 Speaker 2: and we have to be a part of that bigger picture. 583 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:48,240 Speaker 1: Absolutely. And yeah, just thank you yeah to everyone who 584 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:54,120 Speaker 1: supported us on that that mini series on Samantha's coming on. 585 00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:56,160 Speaker 2: I mean that was a true to us. I'm like, 586 00:32:56,200 --> 00:33:00,320 Speaker 2: if you can stick this out, then we're good. 587 00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:05,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, thank you. I'm so glad Samantha this worked. 588 00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:10,360 Speaker 2: I know, I'm very grateful. Happy podcast aversary. 589 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:13,760 Speaker 1: Happy podcast diversary to you. We didn't get each other gifts, alas, 590 00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:15,800 Speaker 1: there's still. 591 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:18,080 Speaker 2: Time special time. Yeah, technically we have one more day 592 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,680 Speaker 2: because today is the twenty first of March. 593 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:23,280 Speaker 1: As we record. Yes. Well, also I'm not too picky. 594 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:26,640 Speaker 1: If it's close enough, whatever, well, it will work it out. 595 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:31,360 Speaker 2: Technically, you still have a Christmas present for me, right then, 596 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:33,360 Speaker 2: just say that's the anniversary problem. 597 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,960 Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no no no, I would never. 598 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:38,000 Speaker 2: I'm okay with it. 599 00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:42,600 Speaker 1: Yes, I think we probably will do a playlist of 600 00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:46,480 Speaker 1: that Trauma mini series soon. I think that'd be a 601 00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:50,160 Speaker 1: good idea, yes, to bring it back. But in the meantime, 602 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:55,160 Speaker 1: Truly listeners, thank you so much. Whether you're Newish Oldish listener, 603 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,400 Speaker 1: as a new when you found the podcast, older you've 604 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:02,400 Speaker 1: been around for a while with the podcast. Either way, 605 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,320 Speaker 1: we appreciate you so much. We're happy to have you 606 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,000 Speaker 1: and you mean you mean the world to us. So 607 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,680 Speaker 1: thank you. If you would like to contact us about anything, 608 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:15,280 Speaker 1: you can our emails stephaniea mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. 609 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,240 Speaker 1: You can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, 610 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,400 Speaker 1: or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff I've Never told you. 611 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:21,000 Speaker 1: We have a tea public store, and we have a 612 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,200 Speaker 1: book you can get wherever you get your books. Thanks 613 00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:26,279 Speaker 1: to always too, our super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya, 614 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:27,360 Speaker 1: and our Concurtor Joey. 615 00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:29,560 Speaker 2: Thank you, we love you, We. 616 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:32,400 Speaker 1: Love you so much, and thanks to you for listening 617 00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,399 Speaker 1: Stuff I Ever told you. Protection of my Heart Radio 618 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,000 Speaker 1: for more podcast from my Heart radio. You can check 619 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,160 Speaker 1: out the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts wherever you listen to 620 00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:38,920 Speaker 1: your favorite shows.