WEBVTT - Learning from Money Mistakes 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.800 Listen. I promise this is not dandriff. This is not dandriff. 0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:07.240 Do you know what this is? No, this is candle wax. 0:00:08.480 --> 0:00:14.080 Because I was doing my my emotional regulation practices yesterday 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:16.200 and taking a bath and I lit all my candles 0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:18.280 and I you know, I have one of those like 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:23.000 little nooks in the bathtub, like a little shelf that's 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:26.560 like recessed into the wall, and I had a candle there, 0:00:26.920 --> 0:00:30.760 and this candle has been there for a minute. Anyway, 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:33.240 I was. I took like an hour and a half bath, 0:00:33.280 --> 0:00:34.919 like it's just a huge part of my life now. 0:00:34.960 --> 0:00:38.080 And I went to bed and I started like taking 0:00:38.120 --> 0:00:40.560 putting my bonnet on, and I was like, what is all? 0:00:40.640 --> 0:00:43.360 There's so much wax. It was dripping into my hair 0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:47.199 the entire time, the entire time, and my hair is 0:00:47.200 --> 0:00:49.879 so thick. I didn't feel it. And I'm like, I 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:52.279 should google if wax is good for your hair or not, 0:00:52.479 --> 0:00:54.600 but I'm sure it's not. And also it's too late 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:58.760 because I already gave myself a hot wax treatment. So 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:01.600 but it just looks it's crazy like I have dan 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:03.880 dripp in my but like the ends of my hand. 0:01:03.920 --> 0:01:07.880 See it, you can't now, but we're recording. You want 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:10.680 to keep this in Huh, we're recording. 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:12.960 Yeah, I know I saved it. You didn't think it 0:01:12.959 --> 0:01:14.200 was good, you didn't think it was funny. 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:18.640 Oh, I'm like I was starting because I didn't do 0:01:18.680 --> 0:01:20.200 my sog. I was like, did we start? 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:22.800 I know, I just had to go go ahead, Tiffany. 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:35.280 That was the pre show that Okay, hey, hey, hey, 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:39.800 I feel like I'm losing my voice. We're back, We're black, 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:50.600 we're brown, and this should ambis ambition ambition. Hey mare, well. 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:53.800 Hey hey, I have a tiny co host today. 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:57.520 I see in the background, who knows what back there 0:01:57.560 --> 0:02:00.520 but school for the summer. I know the parents have 0:02:00.640 --> 0:02:03.040 this gap between when when Supper Camp starts, it just 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:05.360 goes over. It's like one week gap. So every year 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:08.680 my Carl is like just trying to make it. 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:10.480 Yeah, camp starts on Monday. 0:02:10.880 --> 0:02:16.480 Yes, everybody Carol's kids, everybody's kids. I'm like, all, loo, 0:02:17.280 --> 0:02:20.240 I caught you, she said, just being a mom. I 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:23.040 was like, oh gosh, She's like, I really wants to 0:02:23.040 --> 0:02:24.680 sit in my lap. Roma's like rub my back and 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:26.320 I'm trying to do work at the same time. 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:33.120 I went to the doctor yesterday and for my annual physical, 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:37.160 which is a day that I dread every year. Blood 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:39.679 work done, they weigh you, you know, they ask a 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:42.400 bunch of questions. Actually, I wish she would have asked 0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:44.920 more because I felt like I forgot to say stuff 0:02:45.600 --> 0:02:48.880 and because the schedule of the kids has been so strange. 0:02:49.040 --> 0:02:51.320 I just long story short. I ended up on the 0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:55.399 table at my doctor with Rio, my big my four 0:02:55.440 --> 0:02:58.200 year old, on top of me. What was on top 0:02:58.200 --> 0:03:00.720 of me for begging me to low bubbles in his 0:03:00.760 --> 0:03:03.320 face because I had a bubble gum, had some chewing gum, 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:06.320 and he was like pressing his elbows into my rib 0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:09.680 on my chest, just like full and just like more. 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:13.560 And then Remy is, bless his heart, in the stroller 0:03:13.880 --> 0:03:16.200 next to me, the baby, and he's holding my hand 0:03:16.200 --> 0:03:18.000 and won't let go because you know, Rio and I 0:03:18.080 --> 0:03:19.919 are having a moment and he wants to be included. 0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:23.560 So that's how the appointment started. Doctor Jinjo walks in 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:25.960 and she's like, oh how she I could tell. She 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:27.919 was like, am I a pediatrician? 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:28.160 Like? 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:30.959 Did I forget something? Because I'm like I'm under here, 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:36.960 I'm under here. It's me. Yeah, it was a peak 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:42.320 par and did remy. Remy took a I'll be quick 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:45.480 he uh, he did his business. And she was such 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:47.560 a sweet doctor. She was like, oh, I'll hold him 0:03:47.560 --> 0:03:50.480 for you. When I tell you that woman was covered 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:57.640 in the facings of my s no child. I was mortified. Mortified, 0:03:57.800 --> 0:04:00.680 kids do mortified. But I was like, you know what 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:03.920 you picked. You said you weren't hold him, so you 0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:06.880 know I didn't do it, But yeah, yesterday I was. 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:09.560 It was intense, it was full throttle. I was so 0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:12.800 anxious and that is why I needed my my bath 0:04:12.800 --> 0:04:14.920 at the end of the night, which has been this 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:18.680 new practice of mine that is so and it's not 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:20.360 just the act of taking the bath. It has to 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:25.120 be really hot with salts. I got the oils. I 0:04:25.160 --> 0:04:28.960 have all the candles, all the nice, nice things. I 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:30.520 got nice I think I showed you it. Did I 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:31.880 show you a picture of them? 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:34.040 No, you show me a picture of like that bad 0:04:34.080 --> 0:04:36.000 thing you know that goes across the top. Yeah. 0:04:36.080 --> 0:04:38.680 Yeah, I have my little bath tray because you were 0:04:38.680 --> 0:04:41.200 showing me your place and I was like, well, I 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:46.919 got bath salts. But no, it's been a just taking 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:52.920 the bath and then deep like journaling deep like train 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:56.600 of thought. What do you call it? Your thoughts are 0:04:56.640 --> 0:05:00.920 just going streaming conscious? Yes, yes, yes, don't be afraid 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:04.800 of your thoughts. Write them down. That has been so effective. 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:07.720 And yeah, I was telling our producer Tanya before the show, 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:09.080 like I got out of that bath and it was 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:14.000 like I really did feel renewed and ready for bed. 0:05:14.080 --> 0:05:17.240 And that's a huge amount of growth for me to 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:21.599 recognize that I needed that to give myself what I 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:26.640 needed and to use the time for myself and not 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:30.560 to work or to like you know, find stuff for 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:33.239 the summer to do, like all that stuff that I'm doing. 0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:37.360 It was very, very therapeutic. And I woke up today 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:40.919 and I feel so much better, so much better. A 0:05:40.960 --> 0:05:42.919 month ago, I could not have gotten myself out of 0:05:42.960 --> 0:05:44.400 that funk like that. 0:05:44.640 --> 0:05:48.280 So I'm glad you're using the tools available. That's the thing, right, 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:51.880 I always say, like to me, what therapy helps me 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:54.760 to learn this new perspective and what tools I have 0:05:54.839 --> 0:05:58.680 available to navigate? Yeah, And so I mean I know 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:00.960 sometimes it so allves very WOOLU take a hot bath, 0:06:01.000 --> 0:06:02.479 but sometimes take a hot bath. 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:07.040 I was the one who always I didn't get it, 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:09.440 I said, I hated them. Why would you sit in 0:06:09.480 --> 0:06:12.279 hot water? I just sweat, and like, you have to 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:14.520 take a shower beforehand because I'm kind of like a 0:06:14.600 --> 0:06:17.919 German foe and I do. The whole ritual for me 0:06:18.000 --> 0:06:20.400 is shower, will clean the bathroom, make sure it's nice 0:06:20.400 --> 0:06:22.360 and spotless. I have to mom, like I have to 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:23.880 clean the tub out, even though IM the only one 0:06:23.880 --> 0:06:28.279 who uses it. I just I think about whatever and 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:32.159 then I draw the bath and uh, yeah, it's it's 0:06:32.360 --> 0:06:34.880 I get it. It's it's really how you spend your time, 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:38.560 and it's it's really about and you know, I would 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:41.359 think that's such a luxury of time. Who has that 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:46.320 much time? And you can make that time for yourself 0:06:46.400 --> 0:06:50.599 to fill the tub and light the candles. And I 0:06:50.680 --> 0:06:52.880 kicked my kids stuff. I kicked them up in their 0:06:52.880 --> 0:06:55.320 own room they had. It was like it was like 0:06:56.200 --> 0:06:58.880 a theme park in my bathroom for the past four 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:01.640 years because that's where the kids were taking their baths. 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:05.480 I thought it was easier, but I reclaimed that space, 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:10.480 and yeah I could. I can't recommend it more. Even 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:13.680 if you don't have like the esthetic bathroom with all 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:17.160 the things like, it does not take much a clean bathtub, 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:22.440 some candles and just the door closed and locked and 0:07:22.520 --> 0:07:25.160 that journaling practice. And yeah, it is. 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:27.720 Well finding what your thing is. For me, it's walking. 0:07:28.840 --> 0:07:30.760 Like people are always like, oh my god, that's so great. 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:33.520 I'm like, I am not walking because of exercise. Yeah, 0:07:33.520 --> 0:07:35.680 I mean it's just a I'm like, I guess girl. 0:07:36.280 --> 0:07:39.280 But for me, it's not like it literally it's something 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:44.040 about breathing in outside the birds, the squirrels, the trees. 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:47.880 Like literally, there are times when I'm like, I'll have 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:49.440 walked in the morning and I'll walk in the evening 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:52.400 just because I'm still feeling a little anxious and walking 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:55.880 is just about the only thing that almost one hundred 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:59.520 percent of the time works to lower whatever that like 0:07:59.600 --> 0:08:02.320 hide my abrational kind of like buzzing that you do 0:08:02.360 --> 0:08:05.760 when you're feeling yourself getting anxious. That just walk it 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:08.120 just for me, you know. And so it's great that 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:11.920 it's also ah, it's good for your heart. But yeah, 0:08:11.960 --> 0:08:13.960 for me, I never was a tub girl. I've tried 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:15.320 a couple of times and I'm like, okay, I do 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:17.840 like a long shower. That to me, that feeling you 0:08:17.840 --> 0:08:19.480 get in the tub is the feeling I get in 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:21.320 the shower when I just let them waters just run 0:08:21.360 --> 0:08:23.120 over me. But walking is one. 0:08:22.960 --> 0:08:24.880 Of the shower steamers. Have you seen those? 0:08:25.520 --> 0:08:27.640 Not? Oh no, but you know what My friend Dawn 0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:32.520 black woman owns a company called Puka p o Oka 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:35.800 and she does all of these like all natural. She 0:08:35.880 --> 0:08:37.880 does shower steaming, bath bomb. I have to get you 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:41.320 a kid like Mandy, because yes, Donna is awesome. 0:08:41.360 --> 0:08:44.000 It's my whole personality now, like you just want to 0:08:44.040 --> 0:08:46.000 base every gift from here on out on the fact 0:08:46.000 --> 0:08:48.760 that I like a bath like please. 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:50.320 No, I'm want to have her like send you because 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:53.040 Donna's awesome. So if you guys go to I think 0:08:53.040 --> 0:08:54.719 it's it's a Puka dot com. But what I love 0:08:56.280 --> 0:08:59.079 she well, not what I love about her. But Dawn 0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:04.439 found out some years back that she had MS. She 0:09:04.559 --> 0:09:06.040 I think she said she was like walking home from 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:10.240 work and she literally passed out, and I was like, 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:12.840 what's happening? And she went on this long journey to 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:15.679 figure out what is wrong with me? And it took 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:17.920 them forever to figure it out, as it often does 0:09:18.880 --> 0:09:22.600 with women. And she found out that she has MS 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:28.040 and multiple sclerosis, and she said, what can I do 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:34.120 to offset? Like the effects of MS on my body. 0:09:34.200 --> 0:09:36.880 And what she learned is that, like you know, there 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:39.520 are the food that you eat now, but not just that. 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:42.000 She realized the things that she put on her skin 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:45.839 were aggravating the symptoms of her MS. So she just 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:49.480 started making her own things that didn't aggravate her skin. 0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:51.880 And people would be like, you smell so good, your 0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:54.679 skin looks so great, you know, you look so amazing, 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:57.000 and they would ask her. So she just started making 0:09:57.000 --> 0:09:59.880 her things for family and friends, and then it's grown 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:02.120 and grown, and she's been in business now, I don't know, 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:05.760 over ten years. It's pook up okay, a pook up, 0:10:05.760 --> 0:10:07.959 pure and simple. I'm just on your site now and 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:10.720 I love so if you have like hyper sensitive skin, 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:15.120 My nephew had a really bad exema when he was 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:16.839 a baby, and you know, you can't just use anything 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:20.160 on a baby but her her body. Butter was one 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:22.200 of the few things that like she had this no 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:24.040 it was it was a shade butter bar. It was 0:10:24.040 --> 0:10:26.200 like the only thing that we could use that was 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:29.079 like all natural and actually worked, and the stuff just 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:31.400 smells so good. Her lemon grass, she has this coco 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:35.080 coconut lemon grass that's my favorite scent of hers. All 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:36.880 natural but yeah, so pook up, pure and simple. You 0:10:36.880 --> 0:10:40.320 want to support a black woman while getting yourself like 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:43.560 roussa on. Yes, but I'm gonna send you a packet. 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:47.320 I'm like, do I'm put together the ultimate bath combo 0:10:47.559 --> 0:10:48.080 for Mandy. 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:51.880 Yes, and don't sleep on the Home Goods and Marshalls 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:55.680 and TJ Max Like listen, I get a little anxious 0:10:55.679 --> 0:10:57.560 when I go in there sometimes if it's too crowded. 0:10:57.840 --> 0:11:02.640 But the thin body area you can find some really 0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:04.880 good deals. So I got like really nice bath salts 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:08.880 for five dollars, bubbles and little containers. I think I 0:11:08.880 --> 0:11:11.160 probably spent less than twenty dollars on my whole setup. 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:18.200 So self care on self care every day and I love. Yeah. 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:21.240 I love talking to my son about it too. He 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:23.559 could tell I was having a hard time and he 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:25.920 made me. He said, I would make you a supplies. 0:11:27.760 --> 0:11:29.960 He made me a little card. I love. 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:35.360 State farm agents are small business owners too, so they 0:11:35.440 --> 0:11:38.200 know how to help you choose personalized policies that fit 0:11:38.320 --> 0:11:40.920 your needs, like a good neighbor. State farm is there. 0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:46.560 Talk to your local agent today. Well, one of the 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:48.840 things I wanted to the one of the reasons I 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:54.160 wanted this show today to be about mistakes money mistakes 0:11:54.240 --> 0:11:59.200 is because well, one I have seen just being on 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:02.800 the internet a little but I have I'm really candid. 0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:05.160 I will share when I make a mistake, and when 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:08.199 those clips go beyond my little bubble of my audience 0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:10.920 who follows me and enjoys what I do and gets 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:13.200 to know me and cheers me on, when it starts 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:17.760 to go a little bit more viral, the level of 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:23.360 judgment in the comments has really started to It doesn't 0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:26.600 get to me, but we're so quick to judge a 0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:29.600 person based on a mistake. Shouldn't you have known better? 0:12:30.080 --> 0:12:32.160 Why did you do that? Why didn't you do this? 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:36.880 When that is so painful and it's so detrimental to 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:40.040 our own mental health. And I know if people are 0:12:40.040 --> 0:12:43.040 out there passing judgment on others, it really means that's 0:12:43.040 --> 0:12:44.960 how you talk to yourself at the end of the day. 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:47.880 So I wanted to see if we can have, like 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:51.480 well round to talk about mistakes that we've made financially 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:53.920 and then also some of the things that we are 0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:57.079 proud about. And I just want to preface this by 0:12:57.120 --> 0:13:01.760 saying we are extremely candid with you guys, be a fan, 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:06.280 and I think I feel safe enough with our audience 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:10.160 to to share these mistakes. And I think it's a 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:14.800 helpful practice just to know that you can know things 0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:20.680 and still yeah, make a mistake and it's okay. I'm 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:24.000 working on not beating myself up when I make small 0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:27.160 mistakes or big mistakes or what have you. So, yeah, 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:30.160 if you're down for a tiff, wellever. 0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:32.000 I knows my mistake, but I'll try to find some. 0:13:31.960 --> 0:13:38.960 New There must be some new ones always girl condo. Yeah, 0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:41.480 there's always some good stuff. It'll be in the next 0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:43.600 book if you ever write one, but you never will, 0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:47.000 I know. So today we're going to talk about our 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:50.400 biggest money mistakes. Should we do it by like age 0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:53.760 or just more recent whatever comes to mind? 0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:56.600 I guess yeah, like I'm trying to think. Maybe not. 0:13:56.679 --> 0:13:58.199 Maybe I don't put too much pressure on the biggest 0:13:58.200 --> 0:14:01.000 money mistakes because I've certainly shared them. But just money 0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:02.080 mistakes that you're want. 0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:04.000 Okay, yes, you're right, little ones. 0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:10.480 Yeah, yeah, just like you're wanting to share. So, oh, 0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:14.720 I'll tell you my most recent money mistake. So kids 0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:16.640 are we'll just have your money in a choke hold, 0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:19.640 as you know. So the Supergirl was having her graduation 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:22.280 when she was having her prom send off, and she 0:14:22.560 --> 0:14:26.360 was like, hey, can you get the same photographer and 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:29.680 videographer that did my tweet sixteen? You know, this is 0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:31.720 the two young black men. I was like, okay, let's 0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:35.480 support them. It was really expensive because typically they do 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:38.800 like events. So it was I want to say, it 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:40.680 was one thousand dollars for them to come to her 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:44.000 prom send off, take all the pictures, do the video. 0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:50.000 But I honestly prom send off though girl, and once 0:14:50.040 --> 0:14:53.640 that I've seen just a smidgen of it wasn't like that. 0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:55.040 Does she have a big crowd? 0:14:55.640 --> 0:14:57.960 Yeah, So she had her family and friends over her 0:14:58.000 --> 0:15:00.800 mom had like hired someone to do like this loon arch. 0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:04.400 It was a whole thing, and I felt guilty for 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:07.240 being like a thousand all like for her sweet sixteen. 0:15:07.280 --> 0:15:09.680 It made sense to me because it was like sweet sixteen, 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:13.000 all the things, Okay this, I was like, So instead 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.760 of kind of pushing back, you know, and saying, what 0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:17.880 is the LISTA really asking for? She just wants pictures 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:21.120 for her prom? Instead of pushing back, I said, okay, 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:25.440 I paid it. I was like, whatever, ha, foolish Tiffany, 0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:28.120 because the next day I always as these beautiful pictures 0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:29.640 that she posts on social, not the ones that I 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:31.800 paid for, And I was like, these look like great 0:15:31.800 --> 0:15:34.800 professional pictures. These are awesome. Where'd you get these pictures from? 0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:37.480 She's like, well, I knew that the prom sent the 0:15:37.480 --> 0:15:41.120 guy the prom send off guys that they wouldn't you know. 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:43.400 I guess whatever hours they allowed didn't allow them to 0:15:43.400 --> 0:15:45.600 follow her the prom because she wanted to have pictures 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:47.840 in front of like the place that prom. So I 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:50.920 found this guy in college who does pictures for like 0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:58.240 one hundred dollars. I say, hey, how cole Vignant? I 0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:04.600 said what? Yeah, like honestly crowd for like thirty five 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:07.360 pictures I got for like it's like a hunt. It's 0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:10.400 like it was like a dollar picture something ridonculous. But 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:12.000 if I want my date to be in it, then 0:16:12.000 --> 0:16:13.880 it was like two dollars a picture, so it'd be 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:15.720 like one hundred and fifty dollars. I was like, I 0:16:15.720 --> 0:16:19.600 could have wept, oh, I said, I guess she realized 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:22.040 midway bragging. She was like, oh, but this is after 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:23.800 like you had already, like you know, got the guys. 0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:26.160 Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, yeah. 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:29.320 I was just like, but you know what, it was 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:34.240 my mistake because I I sometimes can get locked into 0:16:34.640 --> 0:16:38.320 the specific thing that she's asking for versus what is 0:16:38.360 --> 0:16:41.200 the underlying thing she's asking for. It's not can you 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:44.120 get those people? She's like, I want pictures for prompt 0:16:44.120 --> 0:16:47.240 I could have just done a little more due diligence 0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:50.200 and just found like, you know, people to do it 0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:55.600 and you know, and so nine hundred dollars access later, Helena. 0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:02.160 I think that sometimes having access to the financial means 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:05.880 to fix problems leads you to sometime like the way 0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:11.200 that I'm receiving what you're saying is like when there 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:14.760 is an opportunity to problem solve, throwing money at it 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:20.920 can work and did work, but giving kids and teenagers 0:17:20.960 --> 0:17:25.680 an opportunity to just problem solve themselves and be creative 0:17:25.800 --> 0:17:28.520 and I so I'm like, I'm toggling between being really 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:31.439 proud of her for figuring out a way with her 0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:37.359 budget versus yeah, like her looking to you as like 0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:39.480 the problem solver financially. 0:17:39.720 --> 0:17:43.199 Yes, that to be fair, she did not know the 0:17:43.240 --> 0:17:46.000 price of like what the other you know, not until 0:17:46.040 --> 0:17:48.480 I had already like booked them whatever, So okay, you know, 0:17:48.560 --> 0:17:50.520 so to be fair, it wasn't like hey, because I'd 0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:52.200 paid for it for her sweet succeed and I didn't 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:54.720 tell her how much, and so so. 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:59.399 She's all anocent. Doesn't everyone just have like photographers, well. 0:17:59.280 --> 0:18:00.720 You know all the girls. Yeah, you know, this was 0:18:00.880 --> 0:18:02.879 like this was the year where those proms sendoffs just 0:18:02.920 --> 0:18:06.320 went crazy. So she saw the price leaders. You know, 0:18:06.359 --> 0:18:07.920 that's why she brought it up, because she saw the 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:09.439 price Leader after it was paid it she was like, 0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:11.399 that's how much you paid because and that's why she 0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:14.000 was like yeah, because you know, like this is the 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:16.119 guy and this is what he charged. And I was like, oh, listener. 0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:17.919 She was like, I know, but I didn't realize that 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:20.600 that's what it was. And I thought to myself, I 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:23.120 should have won a few things I could have done differently. 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:25.920 One I could be like, so you want pictures, because girl, 0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:28.200 just so you know, those people are one thousand dollars. 0:18:28.240 --> 0:18:30.000 That's a lot for a problem sendoffs. She probably would 0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:32.160 have been like, oh, that is a lot, let's see, 0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:36.640 you know, or at the very least, you know, she's 0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:38.000 at the age now where I should have shared the 0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:40.560 price with her, so she fully understood, like this is 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:44.280 what it's costing to do the thing. Yeah, So I 0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:46.320 mean it was like, you know, it was that eight 0:18:46.400 --> 0:18:48.640 hundred and fifty dollars foolishness down the drains. 0:18:48.680 --> 0:18:50.560 How much do you think the whole prom send off 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:53.679 was hopefully not even covering dress? 0:18:53.960 --> 0:18:56.439 She son't. I didn't pay for you know, dress, I 0:18:56.440 --> 0:19:00.000 paid for photographer and makeup because Leela my makeup arty 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:02.800 did her makeup, and so the makeup, you know, was 0:19:02.800 --> 0:19:05.600 pretty inexpensive relative because Lee Loways gets took a good deal. 0:19:07.280 --> 0:19:10.960 So I don't know, but it's hard. I'm not gonna 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:13.679 lie because normally, well one, you know, I don't have 0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:16.120 to pay for like anything for listen, her mom got 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:18.320 her and her dad she gets social Security because he's 0:19:18.320 --> 0:19:22.439 not here. And I'm the underlying real thing is that 0:19:22.560 --> 0:19:26.400 I felt a sense of guilty obligation. I thought this 0:19:26.480 --> 0:19:28.840 is too much. But I'm like, oh, it's her proms 0:19:28.840 --> 0:19:31.840 send off. Her dad is not here. You know, this 0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:34.680 is a special time, and so I let that lead 0:19:34.880 --> 0:19:37.959 versus all those things are true and we're still going 0:19:38.000 --> 0:19:41.120 to get her pictures. It just doesn't have to cost that. 0:19:41.160 --> 0:19:45.480 So that emotional underlay wiped away the common sense that 0:19:45.560 --> 0:19:48.600 I know when it comes to that doesn't make sense financially, Tiffany, 0:19:49.160 --> 0:19:53.280 you know, and so navigating that is really it's difficult. 0:19:53.320 --> 0:19:54.920 I mean I can imagine, you know, you're a full 0:19:54.920 --> 0:19:57.200 time parent where it's like, I want to do this 0:19:57.240 --> 0:19:58.880 thing for my kid. I love my kids so much, 0:19:58.880 --> 0:20:01.200 but then it's like the financials I may or may 0:20:01.200 --> 0:20:03.439 not say that makes sense or not, And so you're like, 0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:06.600 where do you land between those two things? Only to 0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:07.960 find that the kid only wants to play with the 0:20:07.960 --> 0:20:10.560 box anyway and not the toy. 0:20:12.440 --> 0:20:16.879 Okay, well we're not here to talk about that, but yes, 0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:22.320 well thanks for sharing. That's all. It's like, yeah, it 0:20:22.359 --> 0:20:25.040 wasn't so much a mistake as just uh, you know, 0:20:26.040 --> 0:20:26.560 yeah it was a. 0:20:26.560 --> 0:20:29.040 Mistake running off all that, like I could have done 0:20:29.080 --> 0:20:30.199 a little more research and not. 0:20:30.359 --> 0:20:32.280 I'm trying to like, yeah, I'm trying to put it, 0:20:32.480 --> 0:20:35.080 but I'm just like, that's we're here to be honest about. 0:20:35.160 --> 0:20:37.880 It's a mistake. And here's a thing I can look 0:20:37.880 --> 0:20:40.920 at a mistake, a financial mistake and not say I'm 0:20:40.920 --> 0:20:42.920 not a mistake. It was a mistake that was made, 0:20:43.440 --> 0:20:45.680 you know, like I'm actually I'm not beating my start, 0:20:45.960 --> 0:20:47.639 you know what I mean, Because here's the thing. A 0:20:47.760 --> 0:20:50.520 thousand dollars, although it's not a little bit of money, 0:20:50.560 --> 0:20:53.639 did not put me in financial harms way. You know 0:20:53.880 --> 0:20:56.040 that that's different like I would you know, maybe i'd 0:20:56.040 --> 0:20:57.800 be feeling, but I'm like, oh wow, I could have 0:20:57.880 --> 0:21:00.400 used that money for something else, Like her graduation party 0:21:00.480 --> 0:21:02.040 was on Sunday, she had it here at the house. 0:21:02.040 --> 0:21:04.679