1 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the 2 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you 3 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe 4 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,360 Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with 5 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,199 Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how 6 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business, 7 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 1: whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember 8 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:40,519 Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering 9 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from 10 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave 11 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 1: your question at the sound of the beeB. 12 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:51,919 Speaker 2: Hi Cheeky's, My name is Sammy. My question to you 13 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:57,000 Speaker 2: is how did you deal with dating? And do I 14 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,200 Speaker 2: guess living at your parents' house? That's I guess my 15 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 2: question right now. It's like I have a boyfriend, but 16 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:06,680 Speaker 2: then sometimes the interference with having to be home at 17 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 2: a serving time, or having to let your parents more, 18 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 2: or having to ask your parents like, hey, can I 19 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:12,560 Speaker 2: go do this? Can I do? Mind you? 20 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:15,319 Speaker 3: I'm twenty six, not that I just started dating, but 21 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,840 Speaker 3: I kind of like this is the guy that I 22 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,120 Speaker 3: brought to the house for them to meet, and it's 23 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:24,319 Speaker 3: it makes it hard because I am twenty six and 24 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,560 Speaker 3: I do live under like whatever rules they have, but 25 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,320 Speaker 3: then everybody tells me to but you're twenty six and 26 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,760 Speaker 3: it's like, yeah, but my parents are Mexican, so I 27 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 3: wonder if you give me advice on how to deal 28 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 3: with them. 29 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:43,400 Speaker 1: Sammy, girl, you're a Latina, especially Mexican households. That's how 30 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:46,480 Speaker 1: my mom was, you live under my roof. You have 31 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 1: to follow my rules. And I was like, well, i'll 32 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: pay you rent, and she's like, I don't care even 33 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:54,360 Speaker 1: if you pay rent. Honestly, I know it could be 34 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 1: a little annoying. I know that you, you know, want 35 00:01:56,640 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 1: to do your thing with your man. But girl, the 36 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 1: fact that you live with your parents and you have 37 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,919 Speaker 1: your parents, like, that's a huge blessing. So the advice 38 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 1: I can give you is be grateful. First of all, 39 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,680 Speaker 1: be grateful that you have your parents and that they 40 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,200 Speaker 1: care about you enough. All they're trying to do is 41 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 1: just protect you from anything happening to you, Like if 42 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 1: there's a curfew. My mom even had a curfew. She's 43 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,440 Speaker 1: like anytime after two there's nothing open. But you're like, 44 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 1: so you need to be home before like two o'clock, 45 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 1: and sometimes I had like I had to be home 46 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:26,920 Speaker 1: at twelve. Depending it. 47 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 4: Girl. 48 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,079 Speaker 1: I was living with my mom until I was twenty six, 49 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 1: So I get it. And if you don't like it, 50 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:36,240 Speaker 1: then your other choices move out, you know. But I 51 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,920 Speaker 1: think it's a beautiful thing that your parents want you 52 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: to live with them, and I'm assuming you're not going 53 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 1: to leave the house until you're married, so they want 54 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 1: to see how serious this person is, especially if this 55 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,399 Speaker 1: guy is a first person that you bring to them. 56 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: Just take it slow, take it day by day, and 57 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 1: just be grateful honestly. 58 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 4: You know. 59 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,200 Speaker 1: I know it's can be annoying, and yes, you're twenty six, 60 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,960 Speaker 1: but you're living in a Mexican household and that's just 61 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,080 Speaker 1: not ever going to change. And they're very traditional and 62 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 1: you can't change that. So just respect what they have 63 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,280 Speaker 1: and what they want for you. And if not, then 64 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:09,640 Speaker 1: you got to move al girl, that's the bottom line. 65 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 1: But then that's gonna make them sad, especially if you're 66 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,640 Speaker 1: not leaving like married or engaged. And I get it. 67 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 1: Oh my god, there were times where I was like, 68 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:19,560 Speaker 1: oh my goodness, mom, I'm twenty five years old. And 69 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,639 Speaker 1: I still have to ask you for permission for everything. 70 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 1: And yeah, but it's a beautiful thing. You know, you 71 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 1: have your parents that love you. So just be patient 72 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:29,840 Speaker 1: and take it day by day. There's no rush. Don't 73 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 1: rush things with this person. Just take it day by day. 74 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 1: That's the best thing I can tell you. Okay. I 75 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 1: hope that helps Sammy, but I get you. I totally understand. Okay. 76 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 1: So our next question comes from Rachel well Ash. 77 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 5: So my question is more of a beauty question. I 78 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 5: know in the past you have shared treatments you have 79 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 5: used to tone your thighs, legs, but and I would 80 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 5: like to know what has worked best for you as 81 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 5: a Latina like you, I have a bigger bottom half 82 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 5: and we all exercise and eat righte make healthy decisions 83 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 5: to help that. But sometimes it's not enough and you 84 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 5: need the treatments. What has worked best for you? 85 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: Ooh, I like this question, Thank you, Rachel. Okay. So, 86 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,920 Speaker 1: I know we want like an easy fix because that's 87 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 1: just the world we live in, and we want like 88 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,839 Speaker 1: that magic solution. But it's a conjunction of things. I mean, 89 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 1: I've always been bottom heavy, I've always dealt with bigger legs, 90 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 1: and cellulite in the whole thing. And I thought at 91 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,839 Speaker 1: my age now getting older was going to get worse, 92 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 1: but it honestly has gotten so much better. But because 93 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 1: I've also become more aware of my health and making 94 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 1: healthier choices. So collagen every day. That's one thing I'm 95 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 1: going to tell you. Collagen for your skin for the tightening, 96 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 1: you know, because at a certain age we stop producing 97 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 1: collagen naturally, men and women, especially women, So always make 98 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 1: sure that you take collagen every day. It's going to 99 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 1: help with your skin, with your bones right, and also 100 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 1: help with cellul like okay, Also I have an anti 101 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 1: cellulite cream from below the skin, if you want to 102 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: check it out. That helps. It's not a magic thing. 103 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,159 Speaker 1: It's not going to make it go away forever. But 104 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: if you're wearing shorts or you're wearing a skirt, you're 105 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,479 Speaker 1: going to go to the beach, you can put it on. 106 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: If you put it on morning and night every day, 107 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 1: it'll really help diminish and help you have more of 108 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 1: like a toned look and a smooth look. It really 109 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,600 Speaker 1: helps me out. I put all over my body. I 110 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 1: put on my tummy, especially if I'm gonna be in 111 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,080 Speaker 1: a bikini on my arms, my thighs, my booty, the 112 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,840 Speaker 1: whole thing. But more than anything that you could do 113 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 1: or go to, like even a plastic surgeon. Girl, I've 114 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:38,400 Speaker 1: done almost everything for it. What has helped me the 115 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 1: most is getting on the treadmill at least thirty minutes 116 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 1: a day, three times a week, and just walking on 117 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 1: an incline. There's no reason to run. You don't have 118 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,080 Speaker 1: to run. People have like this idea of like, I 119 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,720 Speaker 1: need a run to lose weight. But if you're trying 120 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,080 Speaker 1: to tone and just keep that booty up, I would 121 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:56,800 Speaker 1: suggest getting on the bike, okay, cycling, and also walking 122 00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 1: on an incline at least on a ten incline at 123 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,920 Speaker 1: a three three point zero speed anywhere from two point 124 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 1: five to three point zero is good, and then bringing 125 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,720 Speaker 1: it up, you guys, to fifteen percent inclined. Okay. That's 126 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: what's worked the best for me, and I've noticed the 127 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 1: difference in my booty and in my thighs. So I 128 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,159 Speaker 1: hope that helps because I've suffered with that my entire life, 129 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 1: and I get it, girl, But the best thing is 130 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:22,040 Speaker 1: exercise and also changing your eating habits. So Rachel, I 131 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,839 Speaker 1: hope that helps grow, because I know you probably wanted 132 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 1: to hear like, oh, I can go get this done 133 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,839 Speaker 1: and it will help for a little while. But long 134 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 1: term is getting on the treadmill and you don't have 135 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 1: to run. Like I said, take it slow. Okay. So 136 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,679 Speaker 1: our next question is from Monica. 137 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 4: Hi, Cheeky's I wanted to get your thoughts right now, 138 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 4: career wise, I'm doing amazing. I'm at the best I've 139 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:52,160 Speaker 4: ever been. I'm making more than I've ever made. I've 140 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 4: made my health a priority. I pretty much have my 141 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 4: dream body right now. I've worked so hard for it. 142 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,599 Speaker 4: The problem is that my partner really wants kids, and 143 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 4: I just don't know what to do. I don't want 144 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 4: to risk my career or the body that I work 145 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 4: so hard for. I figured you would understand because right 146 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 4: now your career is really just taking off. You're doing 147 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 4: amazing and you look incredible. Does Amelia pressure you at all? 148 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,800 Speaker 4: What are your thoughts? Am I being selfish? I really 149 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 4: don't know what to do? 150 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 1: Oh man, Monica, thank you for being vulnerable, you know, 151 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 1: because uh yeah, like even you asking me if you're 152 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 1: being selfish, I mean some people will see it that way. 153 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 1: Like I get that you know, and people have told 154 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 1: me that too, even my brothers. Actually, they're like, you 155 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,800 Speaker 1: just don't want to mess up your body and stuff 156 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,720 Speaker 1: like that, and I'm not gonna lie. I've thought about 157 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 1: that and I'm like, dude, I've always suffered with my 158 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:52,920 Speaker 1: weight and finally I'm at my smallest and it's like, oh, 159 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. It scares me, but then I'm like, 160 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,080 Speaker 1: you know what the joy that a baby's going to 161 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:01,560 Speaker 1: bring to my life and to a melio it's priceless. 162 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,160 Speaker 1: If you worked and I know you worked very hard 163 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 1: and you got your body to where it is now 164 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,080 Speaker 1: and your career is thriving and you're doing good your career. 165 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,120 Speaker 1: No one can take away from you, girl, because that's 166 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 1: you and you've worked hard for it and no one 167 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,320 Speaker 1: can do what you do. Okay. So that's how I 168 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,680 Speaker 1: feel as far as my career, and you know, I 169 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:20,200 Speaker 1: don't know what your career is. But for me, I'm like, well, 170 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 1: there's a lot of pregnant singing women. You know, Cardi 171 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,240 Speaker 1: b went on stage. So now that doesn't bother me 172 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,880 Speaker 1: as much because before it was like no, it's like, 173 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,280 Speaker 1: you know, you have to keep your body. It was 174 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,640 Speaker 1: different back in the days and now things have changed. 175 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 1: But going back to that, like you can work out 176 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,680 Speaker 1: being pregnant, and you don't, there's no reason for you 177 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: to gain all that weight. I mean, my cousin didn't 178 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,440 Speaker 1: even gain that much. She just had her baby. She 179 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:46,559 Speaker 1: gained eighteen pounds and she's two pounds away from being 180 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:48,959 Speaker 1: what she was before she was pregnant. And she's had 181 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:52,040 Speaker 1: her baby a week ago. She's breastfeeding. So I get it. 182 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,440 Speaker 1: Our bodies change, our bodies go through a lot being pregnant. 183 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 1: But girl, I'm sure that you can get your body 184 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:01,120 Speaker 1: back and maintain your body while you're pregnant if you 185 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:05,840 Speaker 1: really love this guy. Emilio doesn't really pressure me. Emilio, 186 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,319 Speaker 1: I've told him from the beginning, I'm not sure if 187 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 1: I can or if I want to have kids. And 188 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,200 Speaker 1: I was very honest with him from the beginning. And 189 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys had that conversation, but 190 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 1: if you didn't, then that's something that's going to be 191 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,320 Speaker 1: a little bit more difficult. But I was very honest 192 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,720 Speaker 1: from the beginning. I'm like, this is my situation. So 193 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,079 Speaker 1: he doesn't pressure me. He's like, if we don't have kids. 194 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:28,280 Speaker 1: I'm fine. I love you, I want you forever. I 195 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:29,880 Speaker 1: don't know if that's going to change down the line. 196 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,560 Speaker 1: I don't know, but that's what he tells me now. 197 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,559 Speaker 1: But if you really love this guy and he really 198 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,839 Speaker 1: wants a baby, like you got to think about it, babe. 199 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,560 Speaker 1: If you don't want to give it to him, for 200 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 1: whatever reasons, whether they're right or wrong, or if whatever 201 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:45,800 Speaker 1: anyone tells you, if you can't give him what he wants, 202 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 1: you're going to have to let him go. And I'm 203 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 1: going to just be straight up because it's not fair 204 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 1: that he wants something you're not able to give it 205 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,920 Speaker 1: to him. So if you don't let him go, then 206 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:57,680 Speaker 1: that's when I'd be like, oh, you're being selfish, Like 207 00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: if you don't want to give him what he's looking 208 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 1: for and what he really wants, and you guys have 209 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 1: to make a mature decision about going your separate ways, 210 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,000 Speaker 1: or you just say, Okay, I love this guy and 211 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,520 Speaker 1: he's important to me, and I'm gonna get pregnant and 212 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:09,839 Speaker 1: I'm going to make this work. I'm going to be 213 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 1: healthy while i'm pregnant and work out, and I'm going 214 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,400 Speaker 1: to try to keep my body if that's what's really 215 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,560 Speaker 1: like the most important thing, but you got to wait out. 216 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,439 Speaker 1: That's my true and honest advice. So it's a tough one. 217 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,440 Speaker 1: It's a hard pill to swallow, but those are your choices. 218 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,839 Speaker 1: So Monica, I want to hear from you. I want 219 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:29,600 Speaker 1: to see what you decided. Okay, so make sure you 220 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 1: tap in with us. You guys know I'm real. I'm 221 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,840 Speaker 1: gonna tell he how it is. Girls. So anyways, Monica, 222 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 1: thank you so much. Now, our next question comes from 223 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 1: an anonymous listener. 224 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,439 Speaker 4: Hi, Chee Kis. 225 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 6: So, I was asked aid by one of my mom's brothers, 226 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,520 Speaker 6: and obviously it was really rough for me. And when 227 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,840 Speaker 6: I finally spoke up about it, my mom was there 228 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 6: for me, but I feel like at the same time. 229 00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 4: She was there for her brother. 230 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 6: And I think that it really affects me to see 231 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,520 Speaker 6: that she still loves on him and cares for him 232 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:04,160 Speaker 6: after everything. 233 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 4: He put me through. 234 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 6: And he's the reason that I'm in therapy right now. 235 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:11,080 Speaker 6: And when I first, you know, talked about it, obviously 236 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:14,320 Speaker 6: her whole family was like, well, you deserved it because 237 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,240 Speaker 6: of the way you dress, and you know, they try 238 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 6: to justify it on the alcohol and the drugs that 239 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,360 Speaker 6: he does. And so, yeah, I don't have any contact 240 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 6: with my mom's family, but obviously I still live with 241 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:29,400 Speaker 6: my mom and I love her. But at the same time, 242 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:32,839 Speaker 6: I have so much anger built up towards her because 243 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,520 Speaker 6: I don't know how she can still hang around the 244 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:39,120 Speaker 6: person that hurt me the most. So yeah, thank you 245 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 6: for listening to my question, and it would be great 246 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,120 Speaker 6: if you could respond to it. 247 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 4: Thank you. 248 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,240 Speaker 1: Ooh, this is a tough one, and I understand why 249 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 1: you didn't give us your name, and I totally respect that. 250 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:55,440 Speaker 1: Oh see, Oh my gosh, this is tough because your 251 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:58,679 Speaker 1: mom is in a very difficult position. Obviously, you're her daughter. 252 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,080 Speaker 1: She loves you. This is also her brother, and she 253 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:05,000 Speaker 1: probably has the pressure of her family. I don't know 254 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:09,320 Speaker 1: if as a mother I'd be able to Oh my gosh, 255 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,319 Speaker 1: I don't even want to think about it. That's tough 256 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:14,920 Speaker 1: because if I ever have a daughter, and God forbid, 257 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,680 Speaker 1: and I know my brothers would never but I can't 258 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,839 Speaker 1: even imagine. I can't. So I think you through therapy, 259 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,560 Speaker 1: and I'm glad you're going through therapy. That's good. I 260 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,360 Speaker 1: think through therapy you're going to find a way to heal, 261 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:29,959 Speaker 1: and once you heal from anything, everything else around you 262 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,880 Speaker 1: doesn't affect you as much. So I think you're still 263 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 1: in your healing process that you're gonna be able to 264 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,840 Speaker 1: forgive him one hundred percent one day where you're like, 265 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 1: you know what, I'm not gonna make excuses for him. 266 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:44,079 Speaker 1: I'm not going to excuse what he did, but I'm 267 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: going to forgive him because I got to the place 268 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,960 Speaker 1: where I forgave my dad. It took me a while, 269 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:51,680 Speaker 1: and then I couldn't understand why my sister Jackie still 270 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,679 Speaker 1: wanted to have a relationship with him. For a little bit, 271 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,720 Speaker 1: I was like a little offended. But then after going 272 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 1: through therapy and I'm like, you know what, I guess 273 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:01,320 Speaker 1: I'm not one hundred percent here from this. But once 274 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:05,000 Speaker 1: I was continuing with therapy and life coaching, now I 275 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,320 Speaker 1: don't care. Now I'm like, sister, that's your dad. You 276 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 1: can absolutely have a relationship with him. I'm not going 277 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,840 Speaker 1: to hold it against you because what happened to me 278 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,120 Speaker 1: didn't happen to you. And if you still want to 279 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: have a relationship, I'm going to respect that. But that 280 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:19,720 Speaker 1: came with healing, babe, which is why I'm telling you 281 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 1: continue with therapy, heal, and try to be compassionate with 282 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:27,200 Speaker 1: your mom because it's still her brother and she loves him, 283 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,600 Speaker 1: and she obviously loves you, So I think it's just 284 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,800 Speaker 1: healing and also being compassionate and understanding her and trying 285 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,840 Speaker 1: not to hold her resentment towards her, try to understand her, like, 286 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:42,760 Speaker 1: let her go through her process. And one thing I 287 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,040 Speaker 1: will tell you, your family members that told you that it 288 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,480 Speaker 1: was your fault because of the way you dress f them, 289 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,960 Speaker 1: I'm sorry f them all because that's not true. So 290 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,920 Speaker 1: I don't ever, ever, ever let that get into your 291 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:57,040 Speaker 1: head and make you feel like you're at fault. Absolutely not. 292 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 1: What he did was wrong, whether he was on drug 293 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,440 Speaker 1: ugs or drinking or not. He needs to go to 294 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 1: a rehab, and they need to take him to a rehab, 295 00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:07,400 Speaker 1: all of them, instead of trying to blame other people 296 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: for what he did to you. Absolutely not. That's one 297 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 1: thing that I'm not going to tolerate. So they need 298 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 1: to worry about getting him some freaking help. Because if 299 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:17,440 Speaker 1: you're still drinking all this stuff like, you're probably not 300 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,600 Speaker 1: the only person that has happened to So they need 301 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,840 Speaker 1: to do what they need to do their due diligence 302 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,040 Speaker 1: in stopping him from doing this to someone else. But 303 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,600 Speaker 1: as far as you're healing, pray for strength and to 304 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,160 Speaker 1: be able to forgive your mom because you don't want 305 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,680 Speaker 1: to hold that resentment, Babe, that's going to make that's 306 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,880 Speaker 1: toxic for you. And you need to find it in 307 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:37,240 Speaker 1: your heart to forgive him, because forgiving is not a 308 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:39,520 Speaker 1: gift for him, it's not a favor for him, it's 309 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:42,360 Speaker 1: for yourself. You take the power away from him. Does 310 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:46,000 Speaker 1: that make sense? Forgiving gives you so much liberty and 311 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 1: so much power. Girl, This conversation is just I don't know. 312 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 1: I'm sending you a big hug, and I'm wishing healing 313 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 1: to you, and I pray that this therapy helps you 314 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,000 Speaker 1: heal in every single way because you deserve it is 315 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 1: not your fault what happened to you. Okay, So you guys, Wow, 316 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: these questions were very heavy, some of them, and I 317 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,520 Speaker 1: feel just step down inside my heart and soul that 318 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,800 Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm so happy and grateful that we 319 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 1: have dear cheekis. And then you guys take the time 320 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,120 Speaker 1: to send me your questions. Everyone who's listening right now, 321 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,120 Speaker 1: and is struggling with something. I'm here for you in 322 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:23,040 Speaker 1: any way that I possibly can help you. I am 323 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,920 Speaker 1: here if you want to get more advice you guys 324 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,880 Speaker 1: please leave your questions at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheekys, 325 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 1: and Chill Podcast. Thank you guys for listening. I love 326 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:35,280 Speaker 1: you guys so much and I'm sending you all a 327 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:40,960 Speaker 1: big hug. Okay. This is a production of iHeartRadio and 328 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,960 Speaker 1: the Microluda podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael 329 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:48,160 Speaker 1: Lura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h i 330 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,680 Speaker 1: q U i s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit 331 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:55,120 Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to 332 00:15:55,160 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 1: your favorite podcast, and check us out on YouTube.