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Speaker 1: All right, now, before we got to the Strawberry Letter,

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Speaker 1: we gotta let you know this. A dangerous outbreak of

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Speaker 1: severe thunderstorms and tornadoes are imminent for portions of the

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Speaker 1: South and the Southeast where destructive winds they're talking about,

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Speaker 1: hail and tornadoes, some potentially strong are expected today and tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: So we're just you know, asking you, Steve Harvey Nation,

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Speaker 1: to please stay safe, stay prepared, and please, above all things,

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Speaker 1: listen to your local officials. If they tell you to

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Speaker 1: do something, please follow those instructions. Okay, so this s

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Speaker 1: away time tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, sometime tomorrow. Please be safe,

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Speaker 1: and we're going to switch gears here because it is

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Speaker 1: time now for the Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now. Now. Buckle up, hold on tight.

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Speaker 1: We got it for you here. It is a straw

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Speaker 1: baby letta. All right, thank you, nephew. Subject my girlfriend

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Speaker 1: is talking behind my back. Do Stephen Shirley. I've been

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Speaker 1: with my girlfriend for close to a year, and she

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Speaker 1: has a problem with talking behind my back. I noticed

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Speaker 1: a change in how her friends greeted me and acted

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Speaker 1: around me, but I didn't think much of it until

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Speaker 1: I found out why they were doing that. One night,

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Speaker 1: my girl got an attitude with me because I was

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Speaker 1: playing a video game and she wanted to argue about it.

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Speaker 1: She started texting somebody back to back, and when she

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Speaker 1: fell asleep, her phone was still dinging. I checked the

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Speaker 1: last text and it came from one of her gay

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Speaker 1: male friends, and he typed that I am not a

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Speaker 1: real man and she can do so much better. I

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Speaker 1: didn't read any more messages after that because I already

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Speaker 1: knew she had been dogging me out to him. I

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Speaker 1: sent him a text telling him to watch himself. I

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Speaker 1: let her know that I read his message. She said

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Speaker 1: she needed to vent and he's always been her go

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Speaker 1: to person. She agreed that she was wrong and I

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Speaker 1: let it go. But the same sort of thing keeps

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Speaker 1: happening with two other friends of hers. She has told

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Speaker 1: them a lot of negative stuff about me, and I

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Speaker 1: could tell because of the little comments they make when

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Speaker 1: they think I can't hear them. Here's the deal. I

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Speaker 1: wasn't raised in the suburbs like my girlfriend. My single

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Speaker 1: mother is a teacher, and I grew up in an apartment.

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Speaker 1: My girlfriend and I agree a lot over We disagree

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Speaker 1: a lot over a lot of small stuff. When she's upset,

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Speaker 1: she runs to her friends with her problems, and she

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Speaker 1: vents about how I fall short in certain areas and

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Speaker 1: how she has to constantly correct me on things. This

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Speaker 1: is a major flaw with my girlfriend. But on the

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Speaker 1: flip side, I love her personality and we have great chemistry.

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Speaker 1: Not to mention, she's gorgeous. I'm thirty and I'd love

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Speaker 1: to get married soon. But is she marriage material? Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to answer that question this way. You ask

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Speaker 1: if she married marriage material? Well, yes, she's marriage material.

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Speaker 1: If you don't mind her telling everything that goes on

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Speaker 1: in your house, you already know what's going to happen.

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Speaker 1: She's not gonna just magically stop because you put a

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Speaker 1: ring on it. Things just don't work like that. This

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Speaker 1: is who she is, and she can't hold water obviously

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Speaker 1: when it comes to when she's mad and talking to

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Speaker 1: her friends. She's someone who wants to feel like they're

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Speaker 1: right when you guys argue. I think she's being selfish

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Speaker 1: and disrespectful to you as her man, and she doesn't

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Speaker 1: care how it makes you feel. So I just hope

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Speaker 1: you know that you don't have any other secrets that

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Speaker 1: you don't want anyone else to know. You know, you

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Speaker 1: talk about your shortcomings and all of that. So if

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Speaker 1: she gets mad, she's gonna take it to the streets, period.

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Speaker 1: So and there's no where you gonna be able to

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Speaker 1: stop her. You can't because it hasn't worked so far.

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Speaker 1: She says she's gonna quit, and then she doesn't, and

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Speaker 1: you know she's still calling her go to vent person.

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Speaker 1: She talks about you to her other friends too. You

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Speaker 1: mentioned that in the letter. You can't be in a

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Speaker 1: marriage with her walking around on an eggshells. You've got

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Speaker 1: to be able to be yourself. Your spouse is that

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Speaker 1: one person you know that you should be able to

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Speaker 1: be free with. You can't be like that with her,

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Speaker 1: because if you make her man, she's gonna tell everyone

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Speaker 1: who listened. You might be thirty and ready for love, nephew,

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Speaker 1: see how I did that? You might be ready for

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Speaker 1: love and marriage. But I don't think she is not

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Speaker 1: right now, Steve, Well, my girlfriend is talking behind my back.

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Speaker 1: That's already a problem, a big one. Now you've been

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Speaker 1: with her for close to a year, and you say,

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Speaker 1: the major problem is she talks behind your back, because

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Speaker 1: you'd have notice of a change in the way her

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Speaker 1: friends greet you and a around you, and now you

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Speaker 1: ain't given much thought. And then you found out why

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Speaker 1: they would doing it. Your girl got the attitude because

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Speaker 1: you're playing a video game. She wanted to argue. She

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Speaker 1: started texting everybody back to back, and she fell asleep

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Speaker 1: where you checked him answering machine, and you found out

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Speaker 1: what the text was about. And then she text a

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Speaker 1: text came from her gay man friends, from one of

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Speaker 1: her gay man friends, and he typed it, I'm not

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Speaker 1: a real man, and she could do much better. So

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Speaker 1: you didn't read no more because you know what she

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Speaker 1: had been dogging you, texting back, tolding watch yourself, which

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Speaker 1: is what you should have did, because since I ain't

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Speaker 1: a real man, let me tell you what real men do.

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Speaker 1: So now, since you talking to my girl about me,

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Speaker 1: that real men ain't puposed to do that, But you

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Speaker 1: didn't did that. So now let me tell you're gonna

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Speaker 1: be some consequences next time you do it. I'll leave

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Speaker 1: all the rest of that alone. So anyway, it kept

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Speaker 1: happening with two of her other friends, and they make

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Speaker 1: all these comments, and then you know, you saying that

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Speaker 1: the difference is you wasn't raised like her. You grew

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Speaker 1: up in the suburbs and everything, and and your mother

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Speaker 1: was a single mother, and a lot of stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: And y'all disagree over a lot of small stuff. So

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Speaker 1: when I come back, I'm gonna go over is she

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Speaker 1: marriage material or not? Because that's your question, because you're

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Speaker 1: thirty and you want to get married. Is she marriage

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Speaker 1: material or not? I'll let you know that when we

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Speaker 1: come back. Brother, all right, thank you, Steve. We'll have

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Speaker 1: part two of Steve's response in twenty three minutes after

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Speaker 1: the hour. Today's subject is my girlfriend is talking behind

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Speaker 1: my back. We'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening show, All right, Steve, come on, let's recap

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Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letters subject my girlfriend's talking behind my back?

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Speaker 1: All right, This man got this girlfriend that talks behind

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Speaker 1: her back, goes to all her friends with all the problems.

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Speaker 1: He's noticed a difference in her noticed the difference in

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Speaker 1: the way her friends treat him, so he started wondering

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Speaker 1: what was up. That got an argument over video game

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Speaker 1: one name. She started texting everybody back to back. She

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Speaker 1: falls asleep. He checks a message one of her gay

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Speaker 1: male friends says, you can do better than that. He's

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Speaker 1: not a real man. He gets mad and text the

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Speaker 1: dude back and says, hey, watch yourself now for this

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Speaker 1: dude to tell you that you're not a real man.

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Speaker 1: But then he does something that ain't manly right there,

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Speaker 1: telling his girl you ain't a real man. He is

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Speaker 1: somebody else's business. Now how manly is at? So now

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Speaker 1: here's the question. You said, I'd love to get married soon,

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Speaker 1: but if she marriage material, Well, young man, let's go

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Speaker 1: over a couple of things. First of all, she talks

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Speaker 1: about you behind your back. Then in the letter you

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Speaker 1: say you all disagree about a lot of small stuff. Okay.

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Speaker 1: Then in the letter you said I love her personality

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Speaker 1: and we have great chemistry. But you say, this is

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Speaker 1: a major flaw that my girlfriend has because she does

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Speaker 1: it constantly. But then you turn around and say, I

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Speaker 1: love her personality and we have great chemistry. Okay, understand

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Speaker 1: what you're saying you have great chemistry, but you are

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Speaker 1: a lot about small stuff. She's got a great personality,

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Speaker 1: but she talk about you behind your back. Now, the

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Speaker 1: reason you can't see none of this is because you

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Speaker 1: love her, and not to mention she's gorgeous, sir. I

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Speaker 1: can't tell you how many men then got in trouble

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Speaker 1: because of that. She's gorgeous. She might be beautiful on

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Speaker 1: the outside, but she don't seem that beautiful on the

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Speaker 1: inside because she just talking about you. Now, if you

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Speaker 1: want to marry her, understand something. This is not gonna

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Speaker 1: get better. It's gonna get worse. Marriage doesn't solve any problems.

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Speaker 1: You can't just get married and all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: whatever problems you had before you got married, they get fixed.

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Speaker 1: So she gonna still talk about you, and now you're

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Speaker 1: gonna be married, and she's gonna tell all your married business.

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Speaker 1: And I can't even tell you how marriage ain't gonna

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Speaker 1: survive that. The secret I had to learn to a

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Speaker 1: great marriage is that the couple should form a two

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Speaker 1: handed circle and don't let nobody in it. Don't let

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Speaker 1: the kids in at the end, laws in it, and

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Speaker 1: damn show, don't let your family in it, and you

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Speaker 1: show ain't got no business letting the friends in it.

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Speaker 1: She has her friends in y'all circle, and all y'all

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Speaker 1: God is a boyfriend girlfriend thing. So when y'all getting married,

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Speaker 1: guess who's gonna be in the circle. Her gay friends,

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Speaker 1: her girlfriends, everything. So, bro, you're heading down the life

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Speaker 1: from misery because she gorgeous. Now you're thirty and you

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Speaker 1: love to get married soon. But is she the marriage material?

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Speaker 1: I mean, ask yourself that, man, you should be marrying

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Speaker 1: a person who is down with you. Who is your

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Speaker 1: ride or die your friend? So now let me ask

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Speaker 1: you something. If you've heard people say that their marriage

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Speaker 1: works because they're married to their best friend, let me

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Speaker 1: see if you're married your best friend. Let me ask

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Speaker 1: you this. Do you have any friends who do this

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Speaker 1: to you? Do you have any of your friends do

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Speaker 1: this to you that's talking about you behind your back? No,

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Speaker 1: because you pick your friends. I ain't got no friends

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Speaker 1: to talk about me behind my back. Now, I got

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Speaker 1: some friends that are defend me. I got some partners man,

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Speaker 1: that really know me. And if you say something crazy

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Speaker 1: about me, yeah, you're shaking the wrong tree. So now

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Speaker 1: is she marriage material? She may be, but not for you.

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Speaker 1: And because she's gorgeous. Brother, you know how many fine

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Speaker 1: women walking around out here? Boy? Who Now, I know

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Speaker 1: it's I know it's just a highlight reel, but there's

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Speaker 1: some hellified highlights on the reels. Boy, if it's just gorgeous,

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Speaker 1: you won't And I can promise you one of them

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Speaker 1: gorgeous girls really has a nice personality, because what you're

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Speaker 1: thinking about is a nice See. She's bubbly and happy

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Speaker 1: to everybody else, but not to you. Y'all age about

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Speaker 1: a lot of stuff, and she ain't down with you,

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Speaker 1: and Bro, I don't see how this could last. Yeah, Bro,

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Speaker 1: don't sign up for this because this is bad. Man.

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Speaker 1: This is bad, bro, this is not This marriage can

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Speaker 1: never survive you, feel me. So I'm just saying to you,

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Speaker 1: as your uncle, big brother, I wouldn't do it. Now.

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Speaker 1: You can stay her girlfriend, keep it at a distance

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Speaker 1: because you like her cause she fine. You know, y'all

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Speaker 1: stay girlfriend, but don't marry this girl, Pardner. You know,

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Speaker 1: if I was you, I started distancing myself because obviously

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Speaker 1: she likes the advice her friends is giving her. Let

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Speaker 1: her let her marry one of her friends. Since stay

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Speaker 1: so perfectly all right, Steve. Thank you. Post your comments

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Speaker 1: on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey, especially the one

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Speaker 1: you talk to marry him see how it go and Facebook,

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Speaker 1: and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now

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Speaker 1: coming up at forty six minutes after the hour of

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Speaker 1: Sports Talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to

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Speaker 1: the Dame Harvey Morning Show