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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: by clicking Submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. And you never know,

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Speaker 1: this one right here could be yours. It could be yours.

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Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for

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Speaker 1: you here. It is Strawberry LETTA. All right, nephew, thank you.

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Speaker 1: Please help me figure my man out. Is the subject.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a fifty one year old married

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Speaker 1: woman and I'm eight years older than my husband. He

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Speaker 1: is successful and he loves the Lord. Those were the

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Speaker 1: two main things I prayed for when I was dating.

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Speaker 1: God gave me exactly what I asked for, but I

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Speaker 1: also got lots of things I didn't ask for. My

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Speaker 1: husband has a quick tongue and loves to talk back

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Speaker 1: when I'm telling him how things should be. I know

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Speaker 1: that he hasn't been exposed too much, so every chance

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Speaker 1: I get, I get him out of his comfort zone.

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Speaker 1: He wasn't used to different kinds of food, so I

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Speaker 1: took him to eat different kinds of seafood and shellfish.

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Speaker 1: I also exposed him to high end scotch and bourbons

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Speaker 1: because he loves to drink. He resents the fact that

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Speaker 1: I understand fancy language on restaurant menus, and he gets

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Speaker 1: mad when I order for us. He's told me that

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Speaker 1: I might as well be the man in the relationship,

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Speaker 1: and it really makes me sad for him. I'm only

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Speaker 1: trying to bring him up to speed so he can

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Speaker 1: get to my level and have a finer way of living.

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Speaker 1: I've asked him to take me to a Broadway play

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Speaker 1: for my birthday, and he told me to plan it

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Speaker 1: like I plan everything else, and he'll go. I took

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Speaker 1: offense to that because it's time for him to take

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Speaker 1: the lead. I cannot figure this man out. If I lead,

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Speaker 1: he gets upset. When I tell him what I want

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Speaker 1: him to do for me, he gets upset. We've been

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Speaker 1: married for going on two years and we still have

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Speaker 1: a way to go on him being cultured. If I

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Speaker 1: left it up to him, we'd eat dinner in front

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Speaker 1: of the TV every night and he'd never have a passport.

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Speaker 1: I took this man out of the country for the

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Speaker 1: first time, so I need a little more respect from him.

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Speaker 1: How can he be so resentful when I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: help him experience the good life. No, what you're doing

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Speaker 1: is trying to change this man. I mean, you're trying

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Speaker 1: to make him into who you want him to be.

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Speaker 1: He is who he is and you can't change that.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't like it when you're He doesn't like what

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Speaker 1: you're doing and he resents it. You said that he's resentful.

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Speaker 1: You married who you married. Just because you're older than

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Speaker 1: him doesn't mean you can treat him like that. You're

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Speaker 1: not his mother, you're his wife. You're telling him what

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Speaker 1: to do. You're telling him what to eat, what to drink,

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Speaker 1: you're ordering for him. You're emasculating this poor man, and

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Speaker 1: he's sick of it. Maybe he does want to experience

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Speaker 1: the good life, but not with you shoving it down

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Speaker 1: his throat and treating him like he's less than, like

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Speaker 1: he's subpar. Accept him for who he is first, Since

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Speaker 1: you married him like this, you knew what you were

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Speaker 1: getting when you married him. Then he'll want to change

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Speaker 1: because you don't make the good life as you call it,

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Speaker 1: sound good at all. You don't make it like you,

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Speaker 1: don't make it sound good. And if you keep this up,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna lose this man. Steve, ma'am.

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Speaker 2: The subject of your letter, excuse me. The subject of

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Speaker 2: your letter is please help me figure my man out. Now,

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Speaker 2: that's an easy one for me, because men are so simple,

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Speaker 2: so so simple. If the letter was help me figure

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Speaker 2: my woman out, we be in here all day because

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Speaker 2: good luck to the person that can do that. And

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Speaker 2: women know that, women know they are more complex than me,

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Speaker 2: and men are very very simple. The problem that you

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Speaker 2: need to fix is not your man. Who you need

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Speaker 2: to fix is yourself. The reason you having problems with

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Speaker 2: your man is because of the way you going about it.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what it is, man that you're not getting,

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Speaker 2: but let me try to help you. You fifty one

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Speaker 2: year old married woman, and you eight years older than

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Speaker 2: your husband. If you don't think that you're using that

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Speaker 2: to your advantage, you're sadly mistaken. It's the first thing

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Speaker 2: you mentioned in this letter. All you had to do

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Speaker 2: was say, I've been married. I'm married to my husband,

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Speaker 2: and he is successful and he loves the Lord. Now

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Speaker 2: those are the two main things you prayed for when

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Speaker 2: you was dating and God gave you exactly what you

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Speaker 2: asked for. You asked for a man who loved the

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Speaker 2: Lord and a man who was successful. Well, how did

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Speaker 2: he get to be successful? He's obviously done a number

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Speaker 2: of things correct because he found out that the key

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Speaker 2: to his success is faith, and he's put in the

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Speaker 2: work to become successful. So you got it, But you

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Speaker 2: also we got a lot of things you didn't ask for.

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Speaker 2: My husband has a quick tongue and he loves to

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Speaker 2: talk back when I'm telling him how things should be.

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Speaker 2: Excuse me, when you type that line right there, you

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Speaker 2: ain't read it. My husband got a quick tongue and

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Speaker 2: he loved to talk back when I'm telling him how

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Speaker 2: things should be. Really okay, you're telling this successful man

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Speaker 2: who you prayed for, who oh, by the way, loves

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Speaker 2: the Lord like you asked for. But let's just stay

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Speaker 2: with the successful part, which means he has known how

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Speaker 2: to do something right to get y'all in the position.

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Speaker 2: All this traveling you doing and fine restaurants and stuff. Hello, hello,

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Speaker 2: he has made this affordable. Now I'm not saying what

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Speaker 2: you do don't count. That ain't what I'm saying. So

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Speaker 2: before y'all said, she can have our own money. She don't.

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Speaker 2: She don't, she don't. She prayed for a successful man

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Speaker 2: that loves the Lord. She got him. So he's making

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Speaker 2: a huge contribution to all this traveling passport and all

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Speaker 2: this stuff. Okay, now he learned to talk back when

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Speaker 2: I'm telling him how things should be. Listen to yourself,

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Speaker 2: Shirley said, it best. You're nagging the man. Do you

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Speaker 2: know what nagging is, ladies? Nagging is actually tone and timing.

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Speaker 2: It's the way you say it and when you say it,

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Speaker 2: which turns it from talking into nagging. And once you nagging,

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Speaker 2: we threw with you. All right, I got a whole

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Speaker 2: lot more when we come back.

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Speaker 1: Hang on, Steve. Yeah, we'll have part two of your

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Speaker 1: response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today Strawberry Letters, subject please help me figure my man out.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening,

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Speaker 1: Steve Hardy Morning Show. All right, Steve, come on, let's

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Speaker 1: recap today's Strawberry letter, the subject, please help me figure

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Speaker 1: my man.

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Speaker 2: The problem in this letter really is not your man.

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Speaker 2: The problem in this letter is you. So you can't

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Speaker 2: change your man. But you can change how you approach

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Speaker 2: your man, which is I think this is the problem. Now,

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Speaker 2: you said you're a fifty one year old married woman

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Speaker 2: to a man who's eight years younger than you. Okay,

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Speaker 2: you had to tell us that because you want us

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Speaker 2: to show. You want to demonstrate throughout the letter how

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Speaker 2: you're more knowledgeable than he is and how you have

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Speaker 2: an upper hand over him. That's what you wanted us

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Speaker 2: to do. Now, your man, you say, is successful and

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Speaker 2: he loves the Lord. You said, those are the two

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Speaker 2: main things that you prayed for, and that's exactly what

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Speaker 2: God gave you. And then you say you also got

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Speaker 2: a lot of stuff that you didn't ask for. Like

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Speaker 2: number one, your husband has a quick tongue. He loved

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Speaker 2: to talk back when I'm telling him how things should be.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if you read that, but do you

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Speaker 2: sound crazy? He loved to talk back when I'm telling

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Speaker 2: him how things should be. You ain't his mama, you're

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Speaker 2: his damn wife. Now you got this successful man, all

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Speaker 2: of a sudden, he can't do nothing right. You nagging

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Speaker 2: is man. Let me remind you all what nagging is.

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Speaker 2: Nagging is tone and timing. Ladies, It turns into nagging

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Speaker 2: when you change your tone and the timing that you use,

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Speaker 2: and ain't nobody trying to hear all that? Also, I

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Speaker 2: know that he hasn't been exposed to so much, so

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Speaker 2: every chance I get, I get him out of his

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Speaker 2: comfort zone. He wasn't used to different kinds of food,

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Speaker 2: so I took him to eat different kinds of seafood

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Speaker 2: and selfish seafood and shellfish. These are shrimp, This is crab.

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Speaker 2: That is a lobster. These are muscles. Lady, Okay, now

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Speaker 2: I'm assuming you got a country boy corn bread, hawks, greens, pinos,

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Speaker 2: chicken fry, steak, turkey dressing. But now you got him

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Speaker 2: all up here to eat all kinds of seafood and shellfish. Okay,

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Speaker 2: thank you. Also exposing the high end scotching bourbons because

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Speaker 2: he loves to drink, Well, you got a successful man,

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Speaker 2: the loved the lord that drink a lot. You don't

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Speaker 2: turn him on to high end scotching burbies. I showed

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Speaker 2: wish I knew the names of these, because that would

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Speaker 2: open up this letter for me. I don't know what

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Speaker 2: you've introduced him to and what he was drinking, but

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Speaker 2: I sure want to know what it was because I

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Speaker 2: bet I'd be on here hollering. He resents the fact

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Speaker 2: that I understand fancy language on restaurant menus lady, Now

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Speaker 2: we've all been to fancy restaurants, Italian restaurants, they'll have

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Speaker 2: an Italian name, but under it it will be in

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Speaker 2: English what it translates to. So you ain't just in

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Speaker 2: here reading five different languages. You ain't up the Chinese

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Speaker 2: restaurant just reading all this stuff in that you ask

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Speaker 2: him for number seven, just like the rest of us

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Speaker 2: eat restaurant, reading all that writing and going backwards. You

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Speaker 2: ain't no, no, no, no, no. So I already know.

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Speaker 2: And he gets mad when I order for us. See,

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Speaker 2: now I'm gonna tell you something. You stay out front,

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Speaker 2: you're talking to him. You don't like his quick tongue

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Speaker 2: when he talking back to you, when you're telling him something.

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Speaker 2: You in here, you're telling him what to drink, and

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Speaker 2: now you're ordering in the restaurant. He get mad when

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Speaker 2: I order for us because you keep running out in front.

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Speaker 2: You know it might take him a little bit longer,

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Speaker 2: but maybe he didn't want that to eat. Now you

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Speaker 2: ought telling him what to say, telling him what to drink.

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Speaker 2: Now you're telling him what to eat. He don't want that.

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Speaker 2: He told me that I might as well be the

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Speaker 2: man in the relationship because that's how you act, and

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Speaker 2: it really makes me sad for him. I'm only trying

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Speaker 2: to bring him up to speed so he can get

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Speaker 2: to my level and have a finer way of living. Well,

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Speaker 2: if you was all that what you need the successful

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Speaker 2: man for, you do remember what you ask God for? Right?

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Speaker 2: So if you was all that, on that all that level,

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Speaker 2: but you know what you was, You was on that

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Speaker 2: level by your damn self, cause you done ran everybody

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Speaker 2: else off just like this. Then God finally send you

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Speaker 2: what you want and you're finna run this one off.

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Speaker 2: You're busy bossting, You're busy taking charge, you're busy running

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Speaker 2: out front. Now the man then told you you might

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Speaker 2: as well be the man in the relationship. I've asked

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Speaker 2: him to take me to a Broadway play for my birthday.

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Speaker 2: He told you, playing it like you're playing everything else,

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Speaker 2: and he'll go cause he already know what he gonna plan.

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Speaker 2: Ain't gonna be up to speed, So playing it and

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Speaker 2: I go. I took offense to that, or now you mad,

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Speaker 2: I'm telling him what to eat and drink. I can't

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Speaker 2: figure this man out. If I lead, he gets up,

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Speaker 2: Say why don't you quit leading? She gonna sit your

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Speaker 2: ass down Somewhere. You asked for a successful man, he

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Speaker 2: got it. Get your girl friends to go eat all

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Speaker 2: that crawl fishing at two fee and all that want

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Speaker 2: some damn popeyes. Man, Sometimes man, you don't for real. Man,

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Speaker 2: for real?

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Speaker 1: Dog.

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Speaker 2: We been married going on two years and we still

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Speaker 2: have to uh, we still have a ways to go.

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Speaker 2: And getting him cultured. He ain't cultured. He country. If

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Speaker 2: I left it up to him, weed eat dinner in

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Speaker 2: front of the TV every night. I took this man out

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Speaker 2: the country for the first time, so he need to

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Speaker 2: be a little more respectful for me. How can he

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Speaker 2: be so disrespectful when I'm helping experience good life? He

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Speaker 2: already had a good life for he met you. He

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Speaker 2: was already successful and he knew the Lord. He should

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Speaker 2: have left your bullshyr ass where you was. He don't

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Speaker 2: want no more damn shellfish, and he don't want no

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Speaker 2: more moose, I lais he wants some greens.

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Speaker 1: Bo's your comments on today?

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Speaker 2: With greens and macnis? Why'd you learn how to make

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Speaker 2: some mac of cheese. Sat that current taking me all

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Speaker 2: the way.

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Speaker 1: Downhill at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and

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Speaker 1: check out the Strawberry letter.

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Speaker 2: But no cameya. I want the fish and headaches.

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Speaker 1: On the free i Heeart Radio app. Free never sounded

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Speaker 1: so good. Downloaded today. Coming up in forty six minutes

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Speaker 1: after the hour, it is Junior in the building with

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Speaker 1: Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to the Dave

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Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show