1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,840
Speaker 1: Call It what It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camil Luddington,

2
00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:06,760
Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast.

3
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,360
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hello.

4
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,760
Speaker 1: Hello, Call It crew. We have a very special episode

5
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,480
Speaker 1: for you today that we're very excited about. We teased

6
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:29,000
Speaker 1: it out and so many of you guys wrote in is.

7
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,560
Speaker 3: Juicy, Juicy, juicy, I'm ready for all of it. I

8
00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:32,760
Speaker 3: can't wait to see what we learn.

9
00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:36,640
Speaker 1: It is about sex choice, it's about sex, it's about

10
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:41,440
Speaker 1: conversations around sex. It's about all the different things we're

11
00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:45,320
Speaker 1: feeling and inside, outside thinking.

12
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:50,280
Speaker 3: And we went to Zoe, who is a celebrated sex educator.

13
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,240
Speaker 3: She's a journalist, and she is a dildo duchess.

14
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:54,920
Speaker 1: She's a dildo duchess.

15
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,600
Speaker 3: We're gonna find out about that. I need to start there.

16
00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,000
Speaker 3: Maybe we start there.

17
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,000
Speaker 1: Yes, we're gonna be you guys got vulnerable with us.

18
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,240
Speaker 1: We're going to be getting vulnerable with you guys on

19
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:07,319
Speaker 1: this episode, and we're gonna dive straight in. Let's let's

20
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,039
Speaker 1: bring in our dildo duchess.

21
00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:11,520
Speaker 2: Thanks for having me.

22
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,600
Speaker 3: We're both very excited about this episode.

23
00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:15,800
Speaker 2: Me too. Well.

24
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:19,479
Speaker 3: I'm Jessica, nice to meet you.

25
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:24,200
Speaker 1: I'm Camilla. We have teased out Jessica and I went

26
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,840
Speaker 1: to Chicago recently and we were in front of a

27
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,160
Speaker 1: in a conference room full of fans, and they said,

28
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,880
Speaker 1: what is the most exciting episode you have coming up?

29
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:35,920
Speaker 1: And we teased this episode out. I said, our homework

30
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:40,160
Speaker 1: is test driving sex toys.

31
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,240
Speaker 3: It someone has to do it. And by the way,

32
00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:48,480
Speaker 3: we were there and after this, after the convention, we

33
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:52,240
Speaker 3: went to dinner and we're sitting there at dinner and

34
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,760
Speaker 3: Camilla looks at her phone and breaks into laughter because.

35
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:59,160
Speaker 1: My husband texts me and he was like, your vibrators came.

36
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,040
Speaker 3: Okay, I remember is is? When I looked at your phone,

37
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,560
Speaker 3: it was just a picture of the vibrator box. And then, uh,

38
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:08,440
Speaker 3: I think he said, a vibrator came for you in

39
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:08,800
Speaker 3: the mail.

40
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,520
Speaker 1: I think I think he knew, he knew it was coming.

41
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:12,680
Speaker 1: He did know what was coming.

42
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:14,720
Speaker 3: Oh see, I thought it was a total surprise.

43
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,080
Speaker 1: Are you kidding? I've been banging on about this episode

44
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:17,919
Speaker 1: for weeks now.

45
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:22,920
Speaker 2: I hope it came discreetly, because you know, sometimes beta.

46
00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,840
Speaker 3: And also just to go back to where our curiosity started,

47
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,200
Speaker 3: or where my curiosity started, was when we first started

48
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:32,280
Speaker 3: the podcast. One of our very early episodes because I

49
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,160
Speaker 3: think when you start this kind of thing, you know,

50
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,320
Speaker 3: we talk a lot about we started as actresses, and

51
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,799
Speaker 3: so often you kind of like guard information or you

52
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,080
Speaker 3: just don't want to be so intimate or bring like

53
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,200
Speaker 3: the super personal stories. And in the beginning of the podcast,

54
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,360
Speaker 3: we realize, you know, for sure, that's the most important

55
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,040
Speaker 3: part of this all is how we're connected, and we

56
00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:52,520
Speaker 3: really we we connect over vulnerability and being able to

57
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,519
Speaker 3: talk about things and in a in a in a

58
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,320
Speaker 3: in a real way. And so one of the first

59
00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,760
Speaker 3: stories that I told that I was definitely I felt

60
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:02,120
Speaker 3: like a little on tender hooks telling because I just

61
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,320
Speaker 3: hadn't in a public way before I had talked about

62
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,799
Speaker 3: you know what, I'm going to buy a vibrator and

63
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,600
Speaker 3: asking and feeling like nervous and not sure what to

64
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,880
Speaker 3: ask and just didn't you actually even want to talk

65
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,760
Speaker 3: or make eye contact with anyone. And then once I

66
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,520
Speaker 3: finally could get through the experience of being in a

67
00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,440
Speaker 3: sex toy shop and buying a vibrator, that as I

68
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:28,000
Speaker 3: got to the cash register, I completely just jumped off

69
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,320
Speaker 3: my train of confidence and asked them to gift wrap

70
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,000
Speaker 3: it because clearly it wasn't for me. It was obviously

71
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,440
Speaker 3: for someone else. So I'm wondering if you gift wrap

72
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:37,040
Speaker 3: in your shop.

73
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:44,240
Speaker 2: So we're an online store and everything comes like wrapped

74
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:49,560
Speaker 2: in tissue paper, so we're not generally gift wrapping individual items.

75
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,000
Speaker 2: But I used to work in a brick and mortar

76
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:56,720
Speaker 2: ten years ago in Soho, so I had my share

77
00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:00,880
Speaker 2: of experiences with people, you know, even been remembering my

78
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:05,640
Speaker 2: own experience being eighteen going into a sex toy store.

79
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,720
Speaker 2: I mean, now I sell them and it is my wheelhouse,

80
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,040
Speaker 2: but I remember that first time being like, get me

81
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,640
Speaker 2: out of here. I don't want to think about what

82
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:18,279
Speaker 2: all these different things do. And it wasn't that I

83
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:22,480
Speaker 2: didn't have a comfort around sex, but obviously sex education

84
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,919
Speaker 2: does not teach you about that. You're lucky if you

85
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:29,560
Speaker 2: get any level of comprehensive sex ed. But you know,

86
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,600
Speaker 2: what does that like looking at a harness thinking about

87
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,280
Speaker 2: all those things. Oh, no, here's the butt toy section.

88
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,840
Speaker 2: What like? It just opens all these portals if you're

89
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:43,560
Speaker 2: walking in. And I think I was just getting novelty

90
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,320
Speaker 2: handcuffs for a college roommate at the time, and then

91
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,559
Speaker 2: I was just like, oh my goodness.

92
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:52,799
Speaker 1: No, I still when I walk into a sex store

93
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:59,440
Speaker 1: and with my husband, I feel intimidated because I still

94
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:03,200
Speaker 1: don't know, oh how half the things work. I don't

95
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,800
Speaker 1: know how you find out they work, other than maybe

96
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,800
Speaker 1: asking the person that works there, which is feels weird.

97
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,640
Speaker 1: The only one I remember really back in the day,

98
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,719
Speaker 1: even knowing the name of was the Rabbit, And I

99
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,760
Speaker 1: feel like maybe that's because Sex and the City made

100
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:19,080
Speaker 1: it for sure, right, And it's like everyone you know

101
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,240
Speaker 1: that was like that was my first ever sex toy

102
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,839
Speaker 1: because it made it feel like it was okay to

103
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,680
Speaker 1: get that wand like it had had you know, pop culture.

104
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,440
Speaker 1: The girl's had it, well, I could get it and

105
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:31,040
Speaker 1: it was okay.

106
00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,520
Speaker 3: By the way the girl's done the things that I

107
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:33,720
Speaker 3: never did just weer clear.

108
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,440
Speaker 2: Also, the Magic Wand is another one.

109
00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:40,080
Speaker 3: Oh I think that is actually the real og, right,

110
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:44,560
Speaker 3: that's like, yeah, yeah, the real og Rabbit, Magic Wand.

111
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:49,240
Speaker 1: Yes these are. But there's so many new toys out there,

112
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,400
Speaker 1: and I'm lost, and I'm forty, and I don't want

113
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:56,080
Speaker 1: to be lost. I want to know. And and the

114
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,800
Speaker 1: crew they've sent us in questions and everything for today,

115
00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:01,159
Speaker 1: but they they're curious. They want to know too, So

116
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,400
Speaker 1: I want to ask you first because your nickname is

117
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:08,320
Speaker 1: the dildo Duchess, which is incredible. How that name.

118
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,320
Speaker 2: I was just like, that's an alliteration. I really like it.

119
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:16,120
Speaker 2: I love dildos. I really love talking about them too,

120
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,919
Speaker 2: because I think that not to like get into the

121
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:23,120
Speaker 2: weeds so early on, but I like a lot of

122
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,680
Speaker 2: toys that I think the average person is like, ew,

123
00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:29,200
Speaker 2: who would use that? Ew? And especially when I was

124
00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:30,960
Speaker 2: working in a brick and mortar, I had a lot

125
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,520
Speaker 2: of time being like, actually, me, you know, something that's

126
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,240
Speaker 2: like larger or longer, or like has a crazy texture

127
00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:39,840
Speaker 2: on it. I found that those were things that were

128
00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:44,920
Speaker 2: getting really knee jerk shocking reactions from people. And you know,

129
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,919
Speaker 2: I had literally have so many sex toys in my

130
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:51,080
Speaker 2: house that I periodically will donate on opened ones to

131
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:57,320
Speaker 2: like LGBTQ plus organizations or sex work organizations or you know,

132
00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,880
Speaker 2: if they're boilable or testers. I'll just be like, I

133
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,800
Speaker 2: have so many of these things. I do not know

134
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,800
Speaker 2: what to do with them. My whole basement is devoted

135
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:05,120
Speaker 2: to them.

136
00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:06,880
Speaker 3: So she's a real duchess.

137
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,320
Speaker 2: It's a problem, but it's also my business. So it's

138
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:09,720
Speaker 2: actually not.

139
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,720
Speaker 1: Our name yeah, when people are ordering online, what is

140
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:16,000
Speaker 1: it that is the most popular thing that you find.

141
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:16,520
Speaker 3: That people are ordering?

142
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,640
Speaker 2: You know that there is definitely fads that come and go.

143
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:25,000
Speaker 2: I think we might all remember the rose from Technine.

144
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,520
Speaker 2: I don't know if that was just TikTok, but the

145
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:31,040
Speaker 2: rose was really viral in like twenty twenty one ish.

146
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,400
Speaker 2: It still sells really well, but there was a moment

147
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:38,080
Speaker 2: that that was all people were talking about because it's cute.

148
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,360
Speaker 2: It's easy to put on social media without it looking

149
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,920
Speaker 2: like a body part, right right, right, But that has

150
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:49,080
Speaker 2: not sustained into twenty twenty four. I mean, it still sells,

151
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,760
Speaker 2: but the novelty has worn off a little bit. I

152
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:52,840
Speaker 2: think it'll stick around.

153
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,480
Speaker 3: Anything that's effective usually does exactly.

154
00:07:55,520 --> 00:08:00,080
Speaker 2: I mean magic wand was patented in the seventies.

155
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,640
Speaker 1: Is that what you just showed us is the magic wand?

156
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,880
Speaker 2: Yeah? Okay, yeah, that's the mini.

157
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:08,080
Speaker 3: I personally know a woman who thought she was broken

158
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:11,480
Speaker 3: and thought I can never have an orgasm and was

159
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,560
Speaker 3: not young. I mean she was young, but she was

160
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,920
Speaker 3: older than you would think for someone who has never

161
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,840
Speaker 3: had an orgasm, and she that was I think that

162
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,679
Speaker 3: that one almost correct me. If I'm wrong. It almost

163
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,960
Speaker 3: seems like that was pretty full proof, like if your

164
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,440
Speaker 3: body's gonna have your body, because obviously, I mean, you

165
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,600
Speaker 3: were gonna get into this. But I guess is there

166
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:35,000
Speaker 3: are some women who actually cannot physiologically, But if you

167
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,319
Speaker 3: are able physiologically, the magic wand is going to be

168
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,400
Speaker 3: your shortest cut to an orgasm.

169
00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:42,079
Speaker 2: There's no such thing as something that is full proof,

170
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:45,560
Speaker 2: but you are correct in thinking that it is a

171
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:48,880
Speaker 2: very popular one due to its power, that it is

172
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:53,200
Speaker 2: going to really intensely stimulate the body. And there are

173
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:57,520
Speaker 2: so many reasons that, I mean, specifically Volva's. We just

174
00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:02,760
Speaker 2: don't have a lot of education about anatomy like the clit,

175
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:07,480
Speaker 2: and the anatomy of the clit was really only fully

176
00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:12,240
Speaker 2: understood in the mid nineties, whereas like penises, we've kind

177
00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:16,200
Speaker 2: of understood, goodness, how they work, how they feel, how

178
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,520
Speaker 2: we pleasure them, like that's always been known.

179
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:22,760
Speaker 3: You mean before the seventies, before the nineteen seventy, way yeah,

180
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,920
Speaker 3: way back, eighteen hundreds type stuff.

181
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:31,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, even then. Yeah, uh so we're just starting

182
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:34,080
Speaker 2: out with like a really lack of baseline knowledge, which

183
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,760
Speaker 2: creates a barrier to orgasm. Then on top of that,

184
00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:43,000
Speaker 2: there's you know, there's sexual trauma, trauma of any kind,

185
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:49,280
Speaker 2: medications that interact with your libido, and then I think

186
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,319
Speaker 2: a lot of it is also just like a huge

187
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:55,840
Speaker 2: gap in knowledge. But I like to be really straightforward

188
00:09:55,880 --> 00:10:00,000
Speaker 2: and that like, I'm a person who really only reliably

189
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:03,040
Speaker 2: gets off with sex toys, and I think that there

190
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,800
Speaker 2: is a little bit of shame in that for some people.

191
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:10,080
Speaker 2: Thinking I've heard people say things like, well, I you know,

192
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:13,400
Speaker 2: I like it the organic, natural human way.

193
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,280
Speaker 3: You know, it's like okay, like maybe they have more

194
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:17,000
Speaker 3: time than others.

195
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:22,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you are having pleasure, that is great, no

196
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,400
Speaker 2: matter what. And if you're not having orgasms, you are

197
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:29,240
Speaker 2: pre orgasmic or orgasms just aren't on the table for you.

198
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,280
Speaker 2: There is so much pleasure to be had. But I

199
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,640
Speaker 2: think there is definitely such a big emphasis placed on

200
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,679
Speaker 2: orgasm and magic Wand I mean I'm kind of jumping

201
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:40,679
Speaker 2: all over the place here.

202
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,560
Speaker 1: No, we love No, let's do it.

203
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,560
Speaker 3: We jump around, Yeah, we jump around.

204
00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:45,040
Speaker 1: It's all good.

205
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:49,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's super powerful. And some people find that

206
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,360
Speaker 2: the size or the sound of it is like a

207
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,880
Speaker 2: barrier to getting into it. They're like, ah, what am

208
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,440
Speaker 2: I supposed to do with this big object.

209
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,120
Speaker 3: Well again, think back to the nineteen seventies. You were

210
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,520
Speaker 3: also connected to the wall.

211
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:04,320
Speaker 2: It's a plug. Ye, there's no battery that can beat

212
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:07,800
Speaker 2: that either. There's nothing more powerful than plug an outlet.

213
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,120
Speaker 3: When my friend was telling me the story, that was

214
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,920
Speaker 3: a component of it, like truly that there's this appliance

215
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,360
Speaker 3: was plugged into the wall.

216
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, you an adapter cord, an adapter cord.

217
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,760
Speaker 3: Our crew is vast, and we have all ages and

218
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:24,920
Speaker 3: all coming from coming from all the places. We've got Europe,

219
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,280
Speaker 3: we've got the US, we've got South, and we've got

220
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:31,920
Speaker 3: everyone listening. And this is meant to be educational, This

221
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,440
Speaker 3: is meant to be empowering. This is meant to, you know,

222
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:40,640
Speaker 3: illuminate how curious we all should be about our own

223
00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:43,880
Speaker 3: sexuality and our pleasure. I think because I'm a mom,

224
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:47,320
Speaker 3: I have a son and three daughters, there's a lot

225
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,560
Speaker 3: of things that I'm interested in talking about that are

226
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,600
Speaker 3: even different than my own experience with sex, right, like

227
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:56,720
Speaker 3: how to empower and teach a different generation, and how

228
00:11:56,840 --> 00:12:00,200
Speaker 3: as a as a as a female to empower my

229
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:04,640
Speaker 3: young male son and my three female daughters. So you know,

230
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,920
Speaker 3: we've talked a little bit about both of us were

231
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:11,439
Speaker 3: raised in Catholic households, so you know what was brought

232
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:15,319
Speaker 3: to our idea of sexuality from our culture and customs,

233
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:17,360
Speaker 3: and so that's a piece of it. And then I

234
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,319
Speaker 3: think you get into school age where you know, you're

235
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:22,559
Speaker 3: talking about sex education classes where I listen to my

236
00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:24,640
Speaker 3: kids talk about it, and that's the last place that

237
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:28,200
Speaker 3: they want to hear about it. So I feel for

238
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,640
Speaker 3: these schools that you know that need to implement this

239
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:34,520
Speaker 3: layer of education but sort of don't know how and

240
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,240
Speaker 3: they don't have the best way of going about it.

241
00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:39,600
Speaker 3: And I think also I go back to again having

242
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,240
Speaker 3: a teenage son and an almost teenage daughter.

243
00:12:55,960 --> 00:13:01,400
Speaker 1: Okay, so for someone that is starting out, this is

244
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,280
Speaker 1: brand new to them.

245
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:06,680
Speaker 2: I think versatility is really important for a first time

246
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:10,520
Speaker 2: toy because you know, it depends what you want to stimulate.

247
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:13,320
Speaker 2: Are you looking to put a toy around a body

248
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,839
Speaker 2: part or inside of a body part that's going to

249
00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:20,760
Speaker 2: just boil down to personal preference. I think so much

250
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,640
Speaker 2: of it is going with your gut instinct to a

251
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:29,280
Speaker 2: certain extent, also accepting that there will be a natural

252
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:33,520
Speaker 2: trial and error with the first thing you buy you

253
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:37,000
Speaker 2: might not love. That does not mean all vibrators or

254
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:40,720
Speaker 2: all strokers and sleeves are going to have that exact

255
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:45,120
Speaker 2: same experience. You're looking for something that you know has

256
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:51,160
Speaker 2: multiple speeds, if it's motorized or has multiple ways, it

257
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,600
Speaker 2: can be used so that if you don't like using

258
00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:55,840
Speaker 2: it one way, there's another way you can use it.

259
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,199
Speaker 2: A really good example would be like a g spot vibrator.

260
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:04,479
Speaker 2: If you don't like using it internally. Most internal vibrators

261
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:08,560
Speaker 2: are also great as external massagers as well a cockering.

262
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:12,280
Speaker 2: For instance, if it's vibrating and you don't enjoy using

263
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,679
Speaker 2: it as a cockering, you can use it as an

264
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:18,040
Speaker 2: external finger vibe. Just as a couple ways that you

265
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,000
Speaker 2: could modify how you use something if you don't like

266
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,480
Speaker 2: its original marketed purpose.

267
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,840
Speaker 3: For instance, I love the Camilla's face, by the way,

268
00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:28,960
Speaker 3: is very serious. My face is very serious. But I

269
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,040
Speaker 3: wonder Camilla if while she was saying any of those words, yeah,

270
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,120
Speaker 3: you had what I had happening inside my body, which

271
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:35,600
Speaker 3: was like, oh my god, she just said cockering.

272
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,960
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I didn't I know it's a stroker.

273
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:40,960
Speaker 3: And a Sleever, what's would you say a sleeve, A

274
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:41,760
Speaker 3: stroker what.

275
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:45,800
Speaker 2: Is Yeah, I'd say that's my Well it's so funny too,

276
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:50,000
Speaker 2: because the language I use on social media versus in

277
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:53,840
Speaker 2: person conversations or you know, there's so many words that

278
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:59,000
Speaker 2: are censored. So a stroker or sleeve is kind of

279
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:03,680
Speaker 2: a what is a euphemism for a fleshlight? For instance?

280
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,400
Speaker 1: Like what is a flashlight? Again?

281
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:06,520
Speaker 2: Okay again?

282
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,760
Speaker 3: Like you knew the first time, like you knew to start?

283
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,720
Speaker 1: Did you know that? Do you know what a flashlight is?

284
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,880
Speaker 3: I've heard I'd been admitting that I have no idea

285
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:13,680
Speaker 3: what she's talking about.

286
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,120
Speaker 1: There's a fake a fakegina.

287
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:18,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's like, oh, I wish I just had

288
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,120
Speaker 2: one easily laying around.

289
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,920
Speaker 1: It's a fake vagina that has sort of like an attachment, right,

290
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,360
Speaker 1: so you can insert yourself into it.

291
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,800
Speaker 2: It's basically a tube that you can stick your penis into,

292
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:34,400
Speaker 2: and sometimes it's open on both ends, sometimes it's closed

293
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,320
Speaker 2: at the end. The reason the fleshlight is called that

294
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:41,800
Speaker 2: is because it is cleverly contained inside of like a

295
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:46,560
Speaker 2: fake flashlight container. But also to clarify, like fleshlight is

296
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:50,480
Speaker 2: kind of like saying Kleenex for tissue. A lot of

297
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:54,240
Speaker 2: people will just say flesh light when they mean something.

298
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,200
Speaker 2: It understood, okay.

299
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:01,400
Speaker 1: And then what I was thinking about when you were

300
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,640
Speaker 1: talking is I think that I've wondered can they go

301
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:05,480
Speaker 1: inside you too?

302
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:10,520
Speaker 2: That's a really good question because it's a complicated answer.

303
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:16,400
Speaker 2: It depends on the vibrator. For instances, this is not

304
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:20,040
Speaker 2: something you would want to insert simply because it wasn't

305
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,640
Speaker 2: designed to be inserted for starters, got it. But this

306
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:29,120
Speaker 2: is like like a hard plastic joint. When people see this,

307
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:32,120
Speaker 2: it's so long that they think, okay, this is insertable.

308
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,000
Speaker 2: I don't think it would. I mean, I certainly wouldn't

309
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,640
Speaker 2: recommend doing that, but it is not designed for that.

310
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:45,080
Speaker 2: Verses this which is completely silicone, so there's no interrupting parts.

311
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:49,320
Speaker 2: There's no like exposed screws or anything.

312
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:55,080
Speaker 1: Right, and something that's silicone for the crew is okay

313
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,480
Speaker 1: to put an insert inside yourself. It is safe.

314
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:02,920
Speaker 2: In general, silicone is one of the better materials to

315
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,800
Speaker 2: look for, along with like stainless steel and pyrex glass,

316
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:10,879
Speaker 2: which is obviously a very different type of material. But

317
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,000
Speaker 2: silicone is not all created.

318
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,280
Speaker 1: Equal, Okay, yes, tell us, Yeah.

319
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:22,120
Speaker 2: There's different manufacturing processes and the way silicon is cured

320
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:26,560
Speaker 2: or just like the quality of it can really change

321
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,960
Speaker 2: a lot of factors over all, though silicone, if it

322
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:34,359
Speaker 2: is genuinely indeed silicone, you're looking at a probably body

323
00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:38,880
Speaker 2: safe product. The issue, and I mentioned this earlier when

324
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,639
Speaker 2: I was emailing back and forth with the production team,

325
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:46,240
Speaker 2: is that there's not really any regulations on sex toys

326
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:47,360
Speaker 2: in the United States.

327
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,199
Speaker 1: So we read this be where you came on and

328
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,200
Speaker 1: we were yeah, lord, yeah.

329
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,680
Speaker 2: I know. I don't want to like completely like, no,

330
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,680
Speaker 2: we want to talk the other side of it.

331
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,679
Speaker 1: But we want we want to inform the crew of

332
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:03,040
Speaker 1: all all the things and why your online sex toy

333
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:06,280
Speaker 1: store is a spectrum boutique is so incredible is because

334
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:11,439
Speaker 1: of all the amazing products that you have, because I

335
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:15,560
Speaker 1: read is this true that dog toys are currently held

336
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,800
Speaker 1: to a higher material safety standard than adult toys? Is

337
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:19,400
Speaker 1: that true?

338
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:25,440
Speaker 2: Yes? And that is because insane sex toys are kind

339
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:30,040
Speaker 2: of in this legal gray area of being novelties, where

340
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:35,080
Speaker 2: they are you'll see a dildo and it will say

341
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:39,480
Speaker 2: novelty not for intended for internal use, And a lot

342
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:43,240
Speaker 2: of that is just because there is so much taboo

343
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:46,879
Speaker 2: around sexuality and the subject matter of sex toys themselves,

344
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:51,440
Speaker 2: that the government has kind of like not really done

345
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:56,480
Speaker 2: anything to create regulations, which is good in the sense

346
00:18:56,600 --> 00:19:01,440
Speaker 2: that we don't want there to be super strict, like

347
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:06,639
Speaker 2: sex negative rules that prohibit the things we are allowed

348
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:10,520
Speaker 2: to manufacture, because you know, as history goes a lot

349
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:14,120
Speaker 2: of times that is very misogynist or you know, not

350
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,440
Speaker 2: going to be considering they're not going to be consulting

351
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:20,520
Speaker 2: with sex educators when they're making this policy. But at

352
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:24,439
Speaker 2: the same time, you leave this big open can of

353
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 2: worms where you can kind of put any material on

354
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,320
Speaker 2: the market, call it whatever you want. There's not really

355
00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:34,680
Speaker 2: any repercussions for it, so you have to just kind

356
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,640
Speaker 2: of as a shop owner, my job is to work

357
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,320
Speaker 2: with brands where I have a direct line of communication

358
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 2: with them. I can see the certificates on the electronics

359
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,320
Speaker 2: and the materials, and I can be like, cool, there's

360
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 2: no lead in here, there's no thalatees in here. Just

361
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 2: for a couple of the big things to look out for.

362
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,919
Speaker 3: Was that part of your motivation to start the store?

363
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 2: You know, it came throughout the process of manufact during

364
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:05,159
Speaker 2: my own toys, because I realized that the tests you

365
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:08,400
Speaker 2: have to get done on an item that you manufacture

366
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:12,080
Speaker 2: are so expensive that a lot of people just don't

367
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:14,159
Speaker 2: want to do it. It's it really boils down to

368
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 2: money and also just like a lack of information. But

369
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:22,119
Speaker 2: I think that it's important to not like fear monger.

370
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 2: I think sex toys even okay, like even the safest

371
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 2: car in the entire world, if you get into you

372
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:33,480
Speaker 2: can get injured. If it's if you get in an accident. Similarly,

373
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,640
Speaker 2: with sex toys, you can you know, injure yourself if

374
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:41,919
Speaker 2: you use anything incorrectly. But my job as a retailer

375
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:46,480
Speaker 2: is to make the best possible decisions for my customers.

376
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 2: Only carry things I would want to be using, you know,

377
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:53,240
Speaker 2: as far as like quality levels go. The issue is

378
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:56,119
Speaker 2: that we need to be able to make informed decisions.

379
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:57,920
Speaker 2: Like when we're at the grocery store, we're like, ah,

380
00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 2: do I want to spend more money on the organic

381
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:03,280
Speaker 2: ra Berri's or just like the other ones? And that

382
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:08,479
Speaker 2: is the information that is lacking with sex toys. But

383
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 2: that's really just like boils down to the taboo. Not

384
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:15,320
Speaker 2: to get too often to my right, my preachy mode

385
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:15,880
Speaker 2: on all that.

386
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 3: No, no, no, what's your best seller? Like what is

387
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 3: it do you? And are you selling primarily to men

388
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:21,200
Speaker 3: or women?

389
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 2: I would say that my personal audience is, according to

390
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:30,720
Speaker 2: Google and Instagram women, millennial women. But we really have

391
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:34,439
Speaker 2: like customers from all walks of life. There's no like,

392
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 2: there's no such thing as being too old for a

393
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 2: sex toy, you know, But I think that there is

394
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,640
Speaker 2: such a double standard with the stereotypes of like who

395
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 2: likes what? Like vibrators can be enjoyed by anybody, right, However,

396
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:53,199
Speaker 2: best sellers, I brought a few choice items up. I

397
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,600
Speaker 2: mean I already showed you the magic wand, but uh,

398
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 2: this is another toy.

399
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 3: For those listening to Magic Wand, which started as something

400
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,680
Speaker 3: you had to plug into the wall, but now is cordless.

401
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 3: Would be an external like sort of starter point for

402
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:09,440
Speaker 3: your clitterists.

403
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 1: It's a yes to buy weight on your clitteress.

404
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 3: Right.

405
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 2: People also call them massagers. Yes, they're marketed as use

406
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,680
Speaker 2: them on your back, use them on your you know,

407
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,560
Speaker 2: your your neck, your foot.

408
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 3: Like okay, yeah, if you come upon someone in their

409
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 3: living room using a massage or on their neck, my

410
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 3: guess is it was somewhere else before is on their neck?

411
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,639
Speaker 1: Okay, So wait, I'm interested in this shiny space.

412
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 3: Yes, so now she's bringing out the shiny situation.

413
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,919
Speaker 1: Okay, that looks good. I would not necessarily know what

414
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:38,439
Speaker 1: to do with this.

415
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:42,159
Speaker 2: It's a more complicated one. But the reason I want

416
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:43,840
Speaker 2: to bring it out is because it is a best

417
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 2: seller in the sense that it has been around for

418
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,600
Speaker 2: a really long time and it continues to be very

419
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:55,119
Speaker 2: steadily popular, especially for its price point. It's about one

420
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,639
Speaker 2: hundred and ten dollars, which you know for aduldo is

421
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:02,080
Speaker 2: a little pricey. So this is the stainless steel This

422
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 2: is called the low wand hoop, but it is very

423
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:09,480
Speaker 2: similar to the original silhouette, which was the Enjoy Pure

424
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,320
Speaker 2: wand basically just like a C shape that's made out

425
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 2: of stainless steel. So you can use either end. There's

426
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,560
Speaker 2: so many different ways to use it. Some people use

427
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 2: it in like a rocking motion for like very intense

428
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:25,120
Speaker 2: g spot or prostate stimulation. Sometimes people kind of move

429
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 2: it in and out and more of a tugging motion

430
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:35,679
Speaker 2: or swiveling motion. It's really pinpoint pressure inside your body,

431
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:39,639
Speaker 2: as opposed to a dildo that is just kind of

432
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,160
Speaker 2: like uniform straight shape throughout.

433
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,199
Speaker 1: Can I ask why it's made of metal? Why is

434
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,400
Speaker 1: it made of me stalinless steel? Because you can stainless?

435
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 1: Is it because you can heat it and cool it?

436
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's one reason people like it. It's also so

437
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 2: different having a hard material inside your body, just like

438
00:23:56,119 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 2: the resistance feels very different. But also like, you know,

439
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 2: there's zero bend to this, and like silicone or you know,

440
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:11,439
Speaker 2: the human body obviously bends, So it's trying to mimic

441
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 2: the like come hither motion, which is what it's generally

442
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:19,200
Speaker 2: called for. How you want to finger somebody if you're

443
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,879
Speaker 2: stimulating their G spot or prostate.

444
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:41,200
Speaker 3: For those who have a hard time with this, who

445
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 3: are sort of like going, I feel stigmatized or I

446
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 3: feel ashamed even even talking about this. Do you feel

447
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 3: like you've had experience with people like that and what

448
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 3: do you feel like has been like the aha moment

449
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 3: for you in speaking to people like that to help

450
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 3: them get comfortable with whatever they're going to ultimately be

451
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:05,359
Speaker 3: comfortable with, right, Like you have to always check in

452
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:09,440
Speaker 3: with yourself, but has there been you know, a way

453
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 3: of connecting with people and going like, oh, there was

454
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,199
Speaker 3: this aha moment, this is how they got over that stigma,

455
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,160
Speaker 3: that shame totally.

456
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:19,359
Speaker 2: I think it really depends on the source of that

457
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,920
Speaker 2: and like what sets that off for that person individually.

458
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 2: I'm going to kind of go back to something you

459
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 2: said earlier to answer this, which is that there's so

460
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:35,239
Speaker 2: many aspects of sex that aren't literally sexual, and a

461
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:38,640
Speaker 2: lot of this has to do with sex education in school.

462
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 2: Sex education doesn't have to be like the nuts and

463
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:47,360
Speaker 2: bolts and just the anatomy. Really like starting out at

464
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 2: any age, you can talk about consent and boundaries and

465
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 2: you don't have to give you know, uncle so and

466
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,120
Speaker 2: so a hug if you don't want to, or I'm

467
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,160
Speaker 2: not going to make you eat this food if you're

468
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:03,400
Speaker 2: not hungry right now, Like giving a child the autonomy

469
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 2: to think for themselves and decide yes or no, so

470
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:11,640
Speaker 2: that they don't you know, feel like, oh well when

471
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 2: I say no, it doesn't really matter because then you know,

472
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 2: you start to internalize.

473
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 3: That that's such an incredible point and so well put, yeah,

474
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:19,360
Speaker 3: I love that.

475
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:24,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I think that whether the aversion to talking

476
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 2: about sex is about like shame based whether that be

477
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:34,160
Speaker 2: from messages we got when we were younger or negative

478
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 2: experiences as an adult, there's there are also people who

479
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 2: are asexual, and you know, perhaps they really want companionship

480
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:49,199
Speaker 2: but not the sexual stimulation portion. And there you know,

481
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:51,359
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, we all want some

482
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:55,160
Speaker 2: level of intimacy with other people and ourselves, but maybe

483
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 2: that isn't physical, Maybe that's just emotional. You know, there's

484
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:07,120
Speaker 2: still much pleasure in companionship, and relationships aren't just romantic

485
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 2: and sexual. There are platonic ones as well.

486
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 3: So I'm hearing you say that if you're feeling like

487
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 3: there's a stigma or there's a shame around how you're

488
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 3: thinking about or talking about sex, that it would be

489
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:22,520
Speaker 3: a good thing to examine the root of it, where

490
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 3: it came from, because a lot of times these things

491
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 3: can happen when we're younger and we get older and

492
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:30,399
Speaker 3: we're meant to evolve, we're meant to change. So checking

493
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 3: in with our younger selves and saying like, does this

494
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 3: still hold true? Do I still feel this way? Is

495
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,359
Speaker 3: this still you know? Is the authority figure still the

496
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 3: authority figure in my life? Who am I disappointing? Right by?

497
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,520
Speaker 3: Who am I disappointing my engaging in this conversation? Am

498
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,640
Speaker 3: I disappointing someone else? Or am I disappointing myself. These

499
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,639
Speaker 3: are all questions I think that are very valid to

500
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:50,880
Speaker 3: ask yourself as you're sort of starting to talk about

501
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 3: sexuality in a very open way. I love this whole

502
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,920
Speaker 3: idea you were talking about selling mostly or a bulk

503
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:01,200
Speaker 3: of your clients were millennials. I love this whole sex positive.

504
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 3: I mean, what would you call it? I mean, is

505
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 3: it a movement? Is it a phrase? Is it a

506
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:07,640
Speaker 3: and what does it mean? Because I've heard a lot

507
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,640
Speaker 3: of other people that were older be like, well, isn't

508
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 3: that just another word for like, you know, I mean,

509
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,720
Speaker 3: I don't know, in circums annoying. Yeah, the annoying and

510
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 3: negative thought that you're just like, you know, it's the slutshaming, right,

511
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 3: it's the it's the it's the it's the there can't

512
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,199
Speaker 3: be anything good that comes of all this sex. So

513
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 3: now there's this whole idea that there's a sex positivity.

514
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 3: So so what do you how would you explain that?

515
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:35,159
Speaker 2: I think the definition has changed so much, especially in

516
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 2: the last ten years, because it's become one of those

517
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 2: buzzwords that gets used in so many different contexts that

518
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 2: it kind of becomes just a super generalized term for me.

519
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 2: I would define it as not having to be having

520
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 2: It's not about having wild and crazy sex or kinky

521
00:28:56,200 --> 00:29:00,479
Speaker 2: sex or anything like that. It is trying to foster

522
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 2: a shame free approach to it or your lack thereof,

523
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 2: and an open mindedness for the sex lives and needs

524
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 2: of others, kind of excluding basically anything that isn't safe

525
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 2: or consensual adults engaging in you know, consensual sex and

526
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 2: and all that. You know, it's it's kind of like,

527
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 2: even if it's not for you, if it's you know,

528
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 2: positive for somebody, not to yuck their yum. I think

529
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 2: that's one.

530
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 1: Way of putting it.

531
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 3: But yeah, that doesn't.

532
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 2: Mean you have to be down for every little sexual

533
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 2: fad or like you have to have anal. Sex is

534
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 2: a really big one. I hear where people think that

535
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 2: being sex positive means you must force yourself to do

536
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 2: every sex act or you must be non monogamous or

537
00:29:59,400 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 2: something like that.

538
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 3: I think that's such an important thing to just break

539
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 3: for for a moment. Is that it is so important

540
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 3: to consistently check in with yourself about what is right

541
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 3: for you. There's a lot of noise. The constant checking

542
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 3: in with yourself about what you're excited to do and

543
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 3: what you're comfortable to do, and making sure that as

544
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 3: much as it sounds nerdy in the throes of some

545
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,520
Speaker 3: fun stuff, to check in, I think it's important to

546
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 3: check in.

547
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 1: What I love about this conversation is I see it

548
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:37,040
Speaker 1: more as for me personally. In my journey, I didn't

549
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 1: know what could make me orgasm. I felt lost myself.

550
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: So when I had in the early days, when I

551
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 1: had a partner, I didn't know what to tell them

552
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 1: that I liked. And so I feel like buying a

553
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 1: sex toy, having those solo missions by yourself is really

554
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 1: just like self education, and I'm learning about my own body.

555
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 1: Is I literally had no idea what would work to

556
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 1: make me have an orgasm. I didn't know what speed,

557
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 1: I didn't know where, I didn't know what I liked.

558
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 1: And I just feel like it's an exploration of finding

559
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 1: out more about yourself. So going and buying a sex toy,

560
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 1: taking it home, seeing what feels good, seeing what doesn't

561
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 1: feel good. I feel like, then when you have your

562
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 1: sexual partner, you're able to actually articulate what it is

563
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 1: it's going to have you orgasm. And I hated the

564
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 1: feeling of feeling lost. I was like, I guess that

565
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: feels good. I don't know. And I think that that's

566
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 1: where so many people can I just think it's a

567
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,720
Speaker 1: way for everyone to embrace this idea that it's no

568
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 1: shame around it. It's really just education about your body too,

569
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 1: like how do I work?

570
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,520
Speaker 3: Oh, I love every single thing you just said. I

571
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 3: love everything you just said, and it's so, so, so true.

572
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 3: And I think by the way, that kind of thinking

573
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:57,720
Speaker 3: sort of led to a lot of the like when

574
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 3: Harry met Sally stuff right, like the the the partner thinking,

575
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 3: you know, the other one had climaxed and it was

576
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 3: all just completely like what the other partner thought they

577
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 3: were supposed to do, but they didn't know how to do.

578
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 3: And I think we're living in a time where the

579
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 3: sex positivity piece is that you can not know and

580
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 3: that can be okay, and you can say something and

581
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 3: you can and you can and you can fix that problem.

582
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 2: And it's a journey too. Even trying something and realizing

583
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 2: you do not like it is part of figuring out

584
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 2: and honing in what you do. Like, so I think

585
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 2: that a lot of the apprehension is like what if

586
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 2: I try this thing that works for everybody and it

587
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,960
Speaker 2: doesn't work for me. What does that say about me?

588
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 2: There is no such thing as like a thing everybody

589
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 2: likes and again figuring out like I really do not

590
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 2: like you know, uh flicky flickering sensations or whatever. Great,

591
00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:59,680
Speaker 2: you've just learned a huge piece of information that will

592
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 2: event help you get to what you do.

593
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 3: Like, So, in addition to the toys, do you have

594
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,479
Speaker 3: a conversation starters for people? I mean people who are

595
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 3: experiencing this sort of like I don't know what to

596
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,000
Speaker 3: say or I don't know what to do, Like is

597
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 3: there advice that you have for getting you're.

598
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 1: Talking about people in a relationship Like yeah, okay, okay, okay, how.

599
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,479
Speaker 3: Do you approach the conversation of you you have a partner,

600
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 3: you're really excited about all the things that are about

601
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 3: to happen, you don't know how to talk about it

602
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,959
Speaker 3: or you're not yet sure like what you're operating instructions are,

603
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 3: and like how do you how do you start that

604
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:34,240
Speaker 3: conversation in a way that doesn't feel I mean that

605
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 3: you don't worry about it feeling clumsy.

606
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 2: I also think it's like totally okay to be clumsy. Yeah,

607
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 2: but I know exactly what you mean. Even couples who

608
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 2: have been together forever and ever, these conversations are like

609
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 2: constantly evolving and it's more of a journey than a

610
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 2: one and done thing because the type of sex you

611
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 2: might be wanting to have, you know, first thing in

612
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 2: the morning on a tunes if that's your time frame

613
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 2: versus you know a week later, you're going to be

614
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 2: in a different mental space. You're not going to feel

615
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 2: the exact same way you did that exact moment.

616
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 1: Well, I think, by the way, that's why you need

617
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,480
Speaker 1: a partner that you really love. And you no, no, no,

618
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 1: it's not that you really love necessarily, so you feel

619
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 1: really comfortable with because communication, but all of these things

620
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:24,959
Speaker 1: are very vulnerable and intimate, right, And so we're talking

621
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:28,360
Speaker 1: about moments where you might say like I don't like that?

622
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:31,719
Speaker 1: Can you try this? And having that confidence to not

623
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 1: know that your partners like right there with you is

624
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 1: going to make your sex life so much better. And

625
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:45,799
Speaker 1: I feel like what I feel like happened you know,

626
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 1: years ago, maybe still happening now. Is I feel like, also,

627
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 1: there was this thing where as a woman you didn't

628
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 1: want to bring a sex toy into sex because maybe

629
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 1: you feel like the guy I was feeling like he

630
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 1: wasn't doing something well enough, and it was like, you know,

631
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:02,360
Speaker 1: you're bringing something, you know. I think it's really important

632
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 1: to get rid of all of those feelings too, and

633
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,359
Speaker 1: know that because you want to bring something into sex

634
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: to level up your sex life is not a comment

635
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 1: or a judgment on your sex partner. They're not doing

636
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:21,399
Speaker 1: anything wrong. You're just adding more things in to make

637
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 1: it delicious.

638
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:26,799
Speaker 2: I think a really good comparison is if you look

639
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:31,360
Speaker 2: at sex toys as tools. Almost everything in human life

640
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:36,399
Speaker 2: we have adapted to using tools. We eat with utensils

641
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,319
Speaker 2: or you know, chopsticks or a fork, but you can

642
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:44,879
Speaker 2: also eat with your hands. That's doable, obviously. And similarly,

643
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 2: if you're building a house, nobody's going around being like, yeah,

644
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:53,760
Speaker 2: well it's not a real it's not a real house

645
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,239
Speaker 2: because you use power tools. Like you didn't do it

646
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,839
Speaker 2: all by hand. You didn't stand it by hand. You've

647
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:01,799
Speaker 2: got to you know, you used to a sander, Like

648
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 2: nobody sees other aspects of life as being compromised when

649
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 2: we use a tool. So I think that viewing toys

650
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:13,879
Speaker 2: as a competitor can be shifted into being like this

651
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 2: is a collaborative item. I am using with my partner.

652
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 1: I love that so much.

653
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 3: Oh, I just need some more tools from a toolbox.

654
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 1: So we were sent ahead of this the plus one

655
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 1: sex toy. It looks like this. I'm going to show

656
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 1: you everyone in the box again, looks.

657
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 3: Like this and when one end it up, I have

658
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:33,280
Speaker 3: one here as well.

659
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 1: You have one here. Is very soft, it feels amazing, okay,

660
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 1: and it comes with this situation too, so you need

661
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 1: to charge it, okay. So tell us about this particular

662
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:43,720
Speaker 1: sex toy.

663
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is a something I would loosely categorize as

664
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 2: a vibrating bullet. The name comes from they used to

665
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,759
Speaker 2: make them out of hard plastic and like put a

666
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,959
Speaker 2: silvery finish on them, which is where it got its name.

667
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 2: But it really is just a term that refers to

668
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 2: any small or compact vibratory. And what's really great about

669
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 2: small vibrators is that you can put them into, you know,

670
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:16,360
Speaker 2: smaller spaces, fit them between bodies more easily. A bullet

671
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:20,360
Speaker 2: is not insertable just because it's a little too short

672
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 2: and definitely not like butt safe. But there's also like

673
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:27,359
Speaker 2: toys that have a hollow hole inside of them, like

674
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 2: a dildo or a plug. They'll have like a little

675
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:33,400
Speaker 2: hollow base where you can stick the vibrator inside to

676
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:37,840
Speaker 2: make another toy vibrate. A lot of cock rings also

677
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:43,000
Speaker 2: work that way. You like slip it through or in harnesses.

678
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:45,399
Speaker 2: If you're having like a strap on sex and using

679
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 2: a harness and a dildo, a lot of people like

680
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:50,920
Speaker 2: to put vibrators into the harness so that the person

681
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,840
Speaker 2: wearing it can feel the vibration.

682
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:55,360
Speaker 1: I didn't know that you could. I didn't know that

683
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:58,399
Speaker 1: there were sex toys that were made to have other

684
00:37:58,440 --> 00:37:59,280
Speaker 1: sex toys added.

685
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they're very interactive, and like same with the

686
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,920
Speaker 2: wands too. There's like all these attachments you can flop

687
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 2: on top that do make them insertable.

688
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,479
Speaker 1: This particular sex toy is especially safe in as.

689
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,480
Speaker 2: Much as a sex toy can be.

690
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, I mean, like the materials it's made of

691
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 1: and things like that that way.

692
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm familiar with the brand and the people who

693
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:28,720
Speaker 2: make it, and they are pretty well known as a manufacturer,

694
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 2: So yes, I definitely think that it's like a solid brand.

695
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 1: Before we dive into questions, I saw something in our

696
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 1: pre notes that had me fall on the floor and

697
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 1: that was Is it true? Please tell me it's not true.

698
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:44,839
Speaker 1: I'm hoping that we made a mistake. If you order

699
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 1: a toy from Amazon, there is potential that that toy

700
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,840
Speaker 1: is a returned toy that you're now getting.

701
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,759
Speaker 2: I don't work at Amazon, so I can't tell you

702
00:38:56,719 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 2: exactly what their methodology is. But in general, I run

703
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 2: into this issue as a story that does not accept

704
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 2: returns or exchanges because otherwise it would compromise the health

705
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:14,640
Speaker 2: and safety of my customers. So obviously, if something is

706
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:18,319
Speaker 2: defective or broken, or there's some type of issue with it,

707
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,320
Speaker 2: that is a very different story.

708
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 3: But basically, if you're buying sex Whys from a place

709
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 3: that accepts refunds.

710
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,759
Speaker 1: Or returns, we're not sure that we're not guaranteed on

711
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:28,320
Speaker 1: what we're getting.

712
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 3: They could be recirculated.

713
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 1: Well, that's why we're all going to Spectrum boutique. No one,

714
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 1: Everyone log off of Amazon right now, take it out

715
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,400
Speaker 1: of your cart, and go to Spectrum.

716
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 2: I really don't mean to fear monger Win saying that,

717
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 2: because there are so many legit awesome brands that have

718
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,680
Speaker 2: like their storefront on Amazon.

719
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:51,280
Speaker 1: Okay, we just need to do our research.

720
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 2: It's just like how a lot of lingerie is not returnable.

721
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:56,880
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, I'm just saying. It's just something that

722
00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 1: never crossed my mind. So like, if you're doing just

723
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 1: your research, I would not have looked yet. I wouldn't

724
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 1: even thought about having to look and research that. I think.

725
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:22,359
Speaker 1: I think just reading that possibility was so shocking to me.

726
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:26,600
Speaker 1: We have questions from the crew. They wrote in specifically

727
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 1: for you. Okay, so Sarah said, I would like to

728
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:34,439
Speaker 1: know what are the best moves to be doing being

729
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:36,799
Speaker 1: a girl, so that doesn't feel like my boyfriend is

730
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,280
Speaker 1: doing all of the work. I feel like I don't

731
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:41,800
Speaker 1: know how to move right and I don't want it

732
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 1: to always be him doing the work. I would like

733
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:47,879
Speaker 1: to be better help. What do you advise for this?

734
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:49,360
Speaker 1: What are some moves?

735
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, girl needs some moves.

736
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:56,520
Speaker 2: I definitely don't have like the special magic bullet answer.

737
00:40:56,960 --> 00:41:01,880
Speaker 2: I think that a very boring answer is ask your partner.

738
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:07,720
Speaker 2: I think that if you want really specific like moves

739
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 2: and stuff, I think that's also again where I don't

740
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 2: want to say that porn is like an education for that.

741
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,600
Speaker 3: I was gonna say porn because I wanted to ask

742
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 3: this question. I would like to know, like if if

743
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 3: Sarah would like to if Sarah would like Sarah's a

744
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:27,880
Speaker 3: visual learner and Sarah wants to get some help, is

745
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:31,280
Speaker 3: there a place to go to for a well lit

746
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:36,760
Speaker 3: some storyline to action value Jessica to I what production

747
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 3: value high production value porn? For Sarah. I want her

748
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:41,840
Speaker 3: to be able to look at it and not and

749
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 3: also like not judge herself for looking at it and

750
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 3: be like I'm imagining that, Sarah, maybe you wouldn't. But

751
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:50,320
Speaker 3: then where she can go where it's like, Okay, that's

752
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 3: a creative move that I can have, right, because she's

753
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 3: saying I don't know what to do and he's doing

754
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 3: all the work.

755
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 2: I want to make sure I do clarify though, that

756
00:41:57,680 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 2: so much of porn is stuff that is just done

757
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 2: for camera. So there's a huge difference between watching like

758
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 2: a studio production where there is a whole set and

759
00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 2: it's you know, versus is watching like an independent creator

760
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 2: who's like on a webcam, who is like maybe doing

761
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:20,720
Speaker 2: things with their partner. Like this category is often referred

762
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,920
Speaker 2: to as like amateur, but there's a huge difference between

763
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 2: like Ah there's a couple on webcam versus like there's

764
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:30,319
Speaker 2: all this studio set and set up. So I don't

765
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 2: want everyone thinking like, ah, whatever you see in porn,

766
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,480
Speaker 2: go do it, it's gonna feel great. So much of

767
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:38,720
Speaker 2: sex is like in the brain, and like the brain

768
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 2: is the biggest sexual organ in that way. So like

769
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,959
Speaker 2: also tying in the dirty talk and like for play,

770
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:48,120
Speaker 2: it's all kind of like building up this pressure cooker

771
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 2: in your brain of like the fantasy component or lack

772
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:59,160
Speaker 2: thereof getting excited and anticipating what's going to happen later

773
00:42:59,200 --> 00:42:59,719
Speaker 2: in the day.

774
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:04,880
Speaker 1: Technically, I mean like girl on top. Those are some mooves.

775
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 1: I mean, like you're doing you're doing some moves. If

776
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,760
Speaker 1: you sit on top of a guy reverse cow girl,

777
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 1: you're on top, you're facing the other way.

778
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:15,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's benefits of being on top because you're because

779
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:19,879
Speaker 2: you're able to control your bodily movement a little bit more.

780
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 3: Okay, wait, I really want to get to another one.

781
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 3: So this one is anonymous. Is it normal to feel

782
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:29,320
Speaker 3: shame after masturbation? I get a wave of sadness and shame.

783
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 3: I don't know why, as it's something I'm not shy

784
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:33,760
Speaker 3: to talk about. And it is a healthy part of life,

785
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 3: but for some reason I feel disgusted when it's me.

786
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,239
Speaker 1: Just the phrase that you always say, like, we got

787
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:43,240
Speaker 1: to get curious. I know, you got to get curious

788
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 1: with yourself right in a situation like this and ask.

789
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:50,279
Speaker 3: Yourself why yeah, which goes back to what I think

790
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:53,080
Speaker 3: you were saying earlier Zoe about you know, where in

791
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:56,080
Speaker 3: your development was that idea introduced?

792
00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:56,359
Speaker 2: Where?

793
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 3: And where who in the story of your life said?

794
00:43:59,480 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 2: You know?

795
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 3: Storations disgusting, because likely someone said it, and I think

796
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:07,760
Speaker 3: that that would be a good place to start.

797
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 2: Absolutely. I think a lot of questions are kind of

798
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:17,319
Speaker 2: hinging on is this normal or not? And this is

799
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:20,319
Speaker 2: a perfect example of a question like that. There is

800
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:26,640
Speaker 2: no such thing as normal, so it is. I think,

801
00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:30,160
Speaker 2: like maybe the question is also like is this a

802
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 2: thing that other people experience? Because if you know it's normal,

803
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:37,320
Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong with your feelings and how you feel.

804
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:42,880
Speaker 2: Shame is like a natural emotion we all feel, but

805
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:47,920
Speaker 2: having it towards pleasure can be really confusing and contradictory.

806
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 2: And obviously if you want to change that, and it

807
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,840
Speaker 2: sounds like you might want to if you're asking this question,

808
00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 2: I think that there's like so many diff different ways

809
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 2: you can have intimacy with yourself that again is not

810
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:09,360
Speaker 2: directly sexual and can and can get there. For some

811
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:14,440
Speaker 2: people that means like just doing external stimulation and building

812
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:17,799
Speaker 2: up comfort with that. But I guess what I really

813
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,920
Speaker 2: want to make sure is said, though, is that like

814
00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:23,760
Speaker 2: it's normal in the sense that like there is nothing

815
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:27,040
Speaker 2: wrong with you for feeling that way. Does everybody feel

816
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,799
Speaker 2: that way? No, A lot of people definitely feel that

817
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:34,399
Speaker 2: way because that is societally the message we all kind

818
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:34,880
Speaker 2: of receive.

819
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 3: But if you if you don't want to feel that way,

820
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:39,960
Speaker 3: there is a path forward. And if you don't want

821
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,960
Speaker 3: to feel the solutle to yourself, there is a path forward,

822
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,239
Speaker 3: and I think that you will find it again. I

823
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:47,759
Speaker 3: think that they're getting curious and talking to people around you.

824
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:50,440
Speaker 3: I think there's real safety and numbers about this kind

825
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:52,640
Speaker 3: of stuff. Right, Like you, when you see someone else

826
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:54,840
Speaker 3: having a similar experience, or when someone's talking about it

827
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 3: and they have no shame, that might be a little contagious,

828
00:45:57,719 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 3: right You might think, Oh, that's that they don't have

829
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,000
Speaker 3: any shame, So maybe I don't have any shame, Okay,

830
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 3: I just want to get to this very last one,

831
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 3: and then I want to thank you so much for

832
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:07,840
Speaker 3: your time. My sister Sasha was the one who brought

833
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:11,360
Speaker 3: you to us, and I'm so grateful to her. She knows,

834
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,279
Speaker 3: she knows all of it. Okay. The last question is

835
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:17,080
Speaker 3: from anonymous again, is it healthy for me to be

836
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 3: so noisy during sex and my boyfriend not to be

837
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:24,040
Speaker 3: until he actually reaches climax? Also, why can't I climax

838
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 3: with actual sex inside of me? I feel like so

839
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 3: many people want to know this. I feel like I

840
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 3: hear the answer, but you go.

841
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:34,479
Speaker 2: For it totally, you know us. Okay, So the first

842
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 2: part of that question, there's absolutely nothing wrong actually with

843
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 2: a lot of things where people are like, I do

844
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:45,799
Speaker 2: this differently from my partner. It would honestly be like

845
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 2: more unusual for you to be the have the exact

846
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:51,399
Speaker 2: same libido as your partner to make the exact same

847
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 2: amount of noise. So there's always going to be differences

848
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:59,359
Speaker 2: in how we express how we feel. So no, I mean,

849
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:01,880
Speaker 2: unless you're like, oh, I want to be more respectful

850
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:05,880
Speaker 2: of the neighbors. I mean, but I'm just kidding.

851
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 3: And then she's asking why she can't climax with actual

852
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 3: sex inside of her.

853
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 2: I think that going back to the lack of awareness

854
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:18,520
Speaker 2: we have about the clit, the clit is the external

855
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 2: clitteral stimulation is required for the vast majority of people

856
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 2: to have an orgasm. So if there's no clitteral stimulation,

857
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 2: if you if you can have an orgasm without direct

858
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 2: external clitteral stimulation, you are actually statistically on like that

859
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 2: is just less so a thing. I can put that

860
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 2: in a you can put that more succinctly.

861
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:47,719
Speaker 3: You are in the minority if you are climaxing during exactly.

862
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:52,480
Speaker 2: Thank you for putting that so eloquently. And I think

863
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:55,319
Speaker 2: a lot of people don't realize that the clit is

864
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:59,319
Speaker 2: also an internal organ and the external part that we

865
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:02,360
Speaker 2: see is just like the tip of the iceberg, so

866
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:06,760
Speaker 2: much of it goes inside and between the vaginal canal

867
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:11,640
Speaker 2: and the belly side essentially is like the whole body

868
00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 2: of the clitterists. So you are stimulating the glitterists from

869
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 2: inside when you are having penetrative sex. And that's not

870
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:22,040
Speaker 2: to say that there aren't other pleasurable spots within the

871
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:24,880
Speaker 2: vagina that feel really good, but if you are not

872
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 2: giving direct contact to the clit that is most of

873
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:33,280
Speaker 2: the time. The culprit for having a hard time achieving

874
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 2: orgasm is that what that silver.

875
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:43,399
Speaker 3: Situation would be getting too more first, Oh the g spot, Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah,

876
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:47,839
Speaker 3: I had a feeling, yes, purpose, yeah, I think popularity

877
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:51,279
Speaker 3: could be explained definitely. Oh my gosh, there's going to

878
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:52,479
Speaker 3: be a part two for sure.

879
00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 1: Oh, there's a part for I.

880
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 2: Would love to take it the beginning.

881
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:59,160
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us. We have so

882
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:02,080
Speaker 1: many morequestions from the crew. We have to get to

883
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:04,879
Speaker 1: next time, and please come back.

884
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:08,440
Speaker 2: It would be my pleasure. Thank you so much for

885
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 2: the wonderful questions. I think that these are all really

886
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 2: great and honest and vulnerable questions, and I appreciate you

887
00:49:18,239 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 2: coming letting me come shut a little bit of lad.

888
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:22,360
Speaker 3: Yes, and now and now that we you know, obviously

889
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:26,320
Speaker 3: you have your spectrum boutique. Imagine you have an Instagram handle.

890
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:32,320
Speaker 2: Yes, my personal account is thong Ria like the underwear

891
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,400
Speaker 2: uh th h O N G R I A. Or

892
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 2: you can just google my name Zoe Ligan. But it's

893
00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:43,200
Speaker 2: it's a lot of a lot of sex toys. Obviously

894
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:47,520
Speaker 2: you'll be prepared if you if you search me fantastic.

895
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:50,359
Speaker 3: Thank you so much, thank you so much, thank you,

896
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 3: thank you.

897
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:56,160
Speaker 1: I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. Continue to send

898
00:49:56,239 --> 00:50:00,440
Speaker 1: us in your questions, your queries, because we will have

899
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:02,640
Speaker 1: her back on. This is going to be a continuing thing.

900
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:05,359
Speaker 1: We're learning with you guys too, as you can tell.

901
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:07,560
Speaker 1: And Jessica, you want to call it.

902
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:13,239
Speaker 3: Let's call this the end of the beginning of lots

903
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 3: more episodes.

904
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 2: Oh, I like that.