WEBVTT - S2:Ep 9 - Pas de Deux 0:00:11.600 --> 0:00:14.520 The patta da is a fundamental part of ballet. It's 0:00:14.520 --> 0:00:17.320 a duet almost always between a man and a woman. 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:21.880 It's something every professional ballet dancer confronts, usually in their adolescence. 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:25.800 Like most things in ballet, partnering is harder than it looks. 0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:28.840 Dancing at pata dua tests the lessons you've learned in 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:36.520 the ballet classroom. When she was eighteen, Adrianna Pears got 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:39.600 the opportunity to choreograph a patada for the first time. 0:00:40.520 --> 0:00:42.080 It was two thousand and eight and it was for 0:00:42.120 --> 0:00:45.879 a student choreography workshop at the school Balancine founded, the 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:47.440 School of American Ballet. 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:54.160 And I was kind of going through my discovery of 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:56.200 my own sexuality at the time. I just had my 0:00:56.240 --> 0:01:00.160 heart broken for the first time, and so I did 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:10.880 this like very sensual, romantic potada. And the guy really 0:01:11.200 --> 0:01:14.119 is very passionate about this woman that he's dancing with 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:18.960 and very excited and wanting to kind of dive in 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:22.759 with her. And she's like there, but not fully, and 0:01:22.920 --> 0:01:26.080 I think there's something holding her back. And she lets 0:01:26.160 --> 0:01:31.039 him take the lead emotionally, and then they go their 0:01:31.040 --> 0:01:40.200 separate ways and end apart. Doesn't necessarily have to do 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:43.880 with my life totally at the time, But I think 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:48.640 I was discovering what love was and what sexuality was, 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:53.720 and I knew that I wanted to elicit some sort 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:57.400 of like deep emotional response from the audience. 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:12.600 At the School of American Ballet, Adriana had learned the 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:15.880 mechanics of partnering, what it felt like to put trust 0:02:15.919 --> 0:02:18.160 in the boys in her classes to hoist her over 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:23.360 their heads in a suspended overhead lift. Now, in making 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:27.320 her own patada, she began to understand what that movement conveyed. 0:02:28.600 --> 0:02:31.800 So I was using these lifts where she is really 0:02:31.880 --> 0:02:35.920 not doing anything with a very specific intention, and the 0:02:35.960 --> 0:02:38.560 way I used it was to show that the woman 0:02:38.680 --> 0:02:42.240 has no agency, or has less agency, or is making 0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:45.959 less like dynamic choices about the relationship. 0:02:51.440 --> 0:02:54.240 For My Heart podcasts in Rococo Punch, This is the 0:02:54.280 --> 0:03:05.280 Turning Room of Mirrors America Lands, Part nine, how to 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:15.920 dom Adriana remembers when she was a new student at 0:03:15.960 --> 0:03:19.400 the School of American Ballet and she first learned how 0:03:19.400 --> 0:03:22.880 to shape her fingers in the Balancine style, a more open, 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:25.520 rounded hand with splayed fingers. 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:28.720 And it feels like you're holding air and when you 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:32.360 move through space, it breathes with you and it feels 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:37.960 like very expansive and empowered. And I remembered just thinking 0:03:37.960 --> 0:03:41.320 to myself, oh yeah, this is good, Like this makes 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:42.640 sense to me in my body. 0:03:43.720 --> 0:03:46.160 Adriana says her points us had always felt like a 0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:49.280 throne to her. She loved the feeling of lifting up 0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:54.000 onto the tips of her toes, of lengthening, of growing tall, 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:56.120 but she had yet to confront the role her gender 0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:57.520 dictated in this art form. 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:03.760 So I can think back to my first partnering classes 0:04:04.240 --> 0:04:09.200 at SAB was with Jock Soto, and she's a fabulous teacher. 0:04:10.040 --> 0:04:12.760 But what I can remember from those early days, first 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:14.240 of all, I loved it. I had a great time. 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:20.000 But it's very gendered, first of all, very binary boys 0:04:20.000 --> 0:04:22.880 and girls. Boys and girls who have already diverged in 0:04:22.920 --> 0:04:31.440 their training and how they dance. The girls have learned 0:04:31.480 --> 0:04:36.520 to dance on point, to be graceful, flexible, impossibly elegant. 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:40.360 The boys have learned big jumps and tricks, and teachers 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:42.760 have warned some of the boys not to be too graceful, 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:48.440 too feminine. In partnering class, Adriana says her teacher would 0:04:48.480 --> 0:04:51.320 turn to the boys and say pick a girl, and 0:04:51.400 --> 0:04:53.800 the boys would pick their partners grab a girl. 0:04:54.080 --> 0:04:58.760 That's like the terminology. So I just would okay, grab me, 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:02.919 and then we would learn a combination. And most of 0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:05.120 it is just the guys having to figure out how 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:07.240 to do it and build the strength, because you were 0:05:07.279 --> 0:05:11.120 talking like teenage boys who are not developed fully either. 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:16.560 But it's like they get the opportunity to learn and 0:05:16.640 --> 0:05:19.040 to try and to fail and to grow and to build. 0:05:19.440 --> 0:05:23.520 And my job as a woman was to be grabbed 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:26.440 and held and let them figure it out. And I 0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:32.120 and you put your trust in that. I never thought differently. 0:05:33.040 --> 0:05:38.240 You lift me, It's my job to look pretty and 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:41.080 have good technique and like have my leg high and 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:43.200 the guy just has to figure out how to keep 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:46.479 you on your balance. At that time in my life, 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:48.240 I was just I really was just absorbing. 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:56.039 She also absorbed how they ended each partnering class. Boys 0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:59.520 had to do pushups, girls drilled ashia pes, these steps 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:01.200 where you ra but lea slide your feet in and 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:04.160 out and roll up on the point. That stuck with her. 0:06:04.720 --> 0:06:07.240 The emphasis for the women was their technique and their 0:06:07.279 --> 0:06:09.560 lines and their aesthetic, and for the men it was 0:06:09.600 --> 0:06:12.279 their strength and their core, and I definitely started thinking 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:13.120 about that a lot. 0:06:13.600 --> 0:06:15.920 A few years later, she got the chance to choreograph 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:20.039 her first Potida, part of a student choreographic workshop at SAP. 0:06:21.000 --> 0:06:24.080 It was about two people in a relationship. The guy 0:06:24.200 --> 0:06:26.839 is all in, but the woman is less sure. She 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:29.159 lets him pursue her, then she seems to pull away. 0:06:29.920 --> 0:06:32.440 She slides along when he lifts her high above his head. 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:37.039 I think I was discovering what love was and what 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:41.119 sexuality was in my own life, and I knew that 0:06:41.560 --> 0:06:46.960 I wanted to elicit some sort of like deep emotional 0:06:47.000 --> 0:06:49.160 response from the audience. 0:06:50.080 --> 0:06:53.280 In partnering class, Adriana had learned how to do these 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:57.159 suspended overhead lifts where the man lifts the woman up 0:06:57.279 --> 0:07:00.200 high into the air. She used lifts like that her 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:03.440 piece in a purposeful way to show the woman is passive, 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:07.640 uncommitted to the relationship, complacent enough to let the man lead. 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:12.320 What audience members responded to was the sensuality of the piece. Women, 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:15.520 especially older women, approached her after your piece. 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:18.960 I loved your piece. I really responded to that, and 0:07:19.000 --> 0:07:21.840 I thought to myself, WHOA okay? Well, and then I wow, yeah, 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:23.840 I think I want to be a professional choreographer. 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:28.320 In choreographing, Adriana found a new kind of freedom, an 0:07:28.400 --> 0:07:30.720 answer to the lack of control she sometimes felt in 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:34.240 the ballet classroom. In the classroom, she'd been conditioned to 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:37.520 stay silent, to obey the teacher. She made sure to 0:07:37.520 --> 0:07:43.040 fit the mold of the ballerina, pretty thin, feminine. But 0:07:43.080 --> 0:07:50.240 Adriana still needed to figure out how she fit. For 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:54.000 one thing, the majority of professional choreographers are men. And 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:55.960 then there was the fact that she still hid a 0:07:56.000 --> 0:07:57.080 big part of herself. 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:04.240 I remember walking in the halls of sab and thinking, like, 0:08:04.640 --> 0:08:08.239 am I the only one like me who's ever walked 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:13.600 these halls. I had never heard of anyone any queer 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:17.080 women before, never at that time, No. Never. 0:08:18.600 --> 0:08:21.160 She was out to her high school friends and a 0:08:21.200 --> 0:08:24.680 few ballet friends, but mostly in ballet, She says she 0:08:24.720 --> 0:08:27.360 felt like she stuck out, as if she were carrying 0:08:27.400 --> 0:08:30.880 around a backpack all the time, an awkward accessory that 0:08:31.000 --> 0:08:34.079 everyone could see, but the secret of who she really 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:35.600 was was tucked inside. 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:40.440 I didn't have fully have language for myself, even about 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:42.080 who I was, but I knew that people were already 0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:44.720 kind of like is she but like not really knowing. 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:49.040 So when I got into the company at City Ballet, 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:53.400 I was deathly afraid of making the other women uncomfortable. 0:08:54.000 --> 0:08:59.880 That was like my overwhelming experience. I was terrified, constant anxiety. 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:04.760 By the time she was an apprentice, she was in 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:08.079 a tenuous position. She had not yet secured an official 0:09:08.080 --> 0:09:09.000 spot in the company. 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:12.920 In ballet companies, there's a lot of couples At the time. 0:09:13.080 --> 0:09:17.280 I remember thinking to myself, I should get a boyfriend 0:09:17.280 --> 0:09:22.200 in the company to secure my job. And I remember 0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:25.040 having conversations with my friend of mine, who was also 0:09:25.040 --> 0:09:29.160 an apprentice gay man, and we were saying, like that 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:33.400 might help us, because it's so messed up that I 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:36.200 thought that that would actually give me some job security. 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:38.320 And not to say that that is actually the case, 0:09:38.760 --> 0:09:41.080 but there was some insurance there if I could like 0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:45.920 really show that I was a straight woman, that somehow 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:47.160 that would secure my spot. 0:09:48.080 --> 0:09:50.040 It was before one performance that it all came to 0:09:50.160 --> 0:09:53.439 a head. The women's dressing rooms in the theater are upstairs, 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:55.400 but they had to take the elevator down to the 0:09:55.400 --> 0:09:58.360 stage level to get into their costumes, and so all 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:00.480 the quarter Valley women, all of them the whole company 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:02.839 are all just like putting their costumes on in this 0:10:02.960 --> 0:10:06.080 like one room, and the dressers and some of the 0:10:06.080 --> 0:10:10.080 women were talking about how hot Hugh Jackman is and 0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:12.240 so somehow I was in the middle of this conversation 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:14.160 that was happening all around me, and the dresser asked 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:16.920 me which was putting my cost Munch asked me like, oh, 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:18.200 what do you think about Hugh? And I was like 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:21.080 it's not for me, like I don't know, and she goes, 0:10:21.120 --> 0:10:23.040 oh really, But then like who is for you? 0:10:23.080 --> 0:10:26.680 Like what kind of guys do you like? And the 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:30.480 whole room stopped talking and like looked to see what 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:33.080 I was gonna say. She was like no, no, really, 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:39.000 like what's your like man flavor? And I was like, I, well, ah, 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:43.760 I'm gay, and she goes, no, you're not, and I 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:48.720 was like, oh no, yeah, yeah I am. And again 0:10:48.760 --> 0:10:51.960 the whole room like no one moving, no one breathing, 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:54.960 and I'm just like, this is my worst case scenario, 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:58.240 Like I'm in Valanchine's house like with all these naked women, 0:10:58.280 --> 0:11:00.319 and I'm just like coming out in front of every 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:06.400 against my will. And then one of my friends, Maya, 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:08.720 she came to my aid, and she goes, actually, I'm 0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:11.439 her flavor, and I was like, thank you, Maya. Okay, 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:19.240 she cut the tension, and then it was like, okay, 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:20.800 no one knew how to talk about it, and no 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:22.680 one knew how to approached me about it, and everyone knew, 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:25.040 but no one knew and hah, and I wasn't talking 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:26.920 about it, and so it kind of like almost burst 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:30.760 this bubble of like panic. So I'm kind of glad 0:11:30.800 --> 0:11:37.040 that happened, but wow, is it traumatic. So that's how 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:39.080 I came out to all of the women in the 0:11:39.080 --> 0:11:41.360 Court of Ballet and ne York City Valley in two 0:11:41.360 --> 0:11:42.280 thousand and nine. 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:48.360 Like so many dancers, she didn't get a job after 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:52.000 her apprenticeship, so she went to another prestigious ballet company, 0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:57.440 another company centered on Balancine's choreography, Miami City Ballet. She 0:11:57.520 --> 0:12:01.240 stayed there seven years. She also Korea when she could. 0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:04.440 While there, she made a piece called Cafe Music. She 0:12:04.520 --> 0:12:06.559 took that first pott of dough she'd made at SAB 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:10.760 and added two more movements, and this time she approached 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:11.360 it differently. 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:17.960 I took special care to pass who's leading and who's 0:12:17.960 --> 0:12:20.640 following back and forth, and that's just what it was, 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:22.600 just what was coming out of me naturally. 0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:26.320 But it wasn't natural for these professional ballet dancers to 0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:27.080 dance this way. 0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:32.520 My friend Andre, who was the dancer, was having a 0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:36.840 hard time, like letting his partner, you know, hold him 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:39.160 or pull him. And I remember the dancers asking me 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:43.600 what is this about? And I said, it's about finding yourself. 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:49.319 It's about finding who you are within your friendships, within 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:51.600 your partnerships. When you're out at a club, when you're 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:53.440 out at a bar, who are you and how do 0:12:53.480 --> 0:12:54.880 you relate to the people around you. 0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:00.679 As Adriana played with the push and of these new 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:03.800 ways of partnering and who was taking the lead, she 0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:08.240 also rehearsed her original padata with that overhead lift, she 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:11.760 began to realize how little choreographers consider the meaning of 0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:17.800 this movement. For her, in mena surrender of agency, but 0:13:17.840 --> 0:13:21.040 in practically all other examples she'd previously seen or danced, 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:23.840 it felt like a showpiece, a feed of strength that 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:26.480 hammered home an idea about the roles of men and 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:27.480 women in dance. 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:33.840 What I realized about suspend it overhead lifts is that 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:37.360 they are very gendered because Traditionally, what we're used to 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:42.360 seeing is a man lifting a woman, and you, whether 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:44.920 it's conscious or not, understand that it can't be the 0:13:44.920 --> 0:13:48.160 other way around, because it's just not what we're used 0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:49.760 to seeing, and it's also not the way that women 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:51.280 are trained or socialized. 0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:58.440 After that realization, Adriana choreographed many more ballet pieces, but 0:13:58.559 --> 0:14:01.840 she never used another over lift. She didn't put them 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:04.320 in any of her dances, not a single one. 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:08.560 And when I do use a lift, we move through it. 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:11.719 I kind of fold it into like the fabric of 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:14.520 the movement, so there's never like a point where we're 0:14:14.520 --> 0:14:22.480 sitting there and being like that man is lifting that woman. Wow. 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:43.040 At Miami City Ballet, Adriana continued to choreograph pieces. As 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:46.120 she watched the partnering works being created and performed around her, 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:49.320 she was struck with a familiar feeling, we. 0:14:49.320 --> 0:14:52.000 Are just fully accepting the fact that we are always 0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:55.760 seeing partnerships where the women have less agency, over and 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:57.200 over and over and over again. 0:14:58.000 --> 0:15:01.640 In twenty fourteen, Adriana was he'd an invitation to choreograph 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:05.080 a piece for New York City Ballet Dancers, her old workplace, 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:07.720 where the director Peter Martin's had not offered her a 0:15:07.760 --> 0:15:11.240 contract to join the company after her apprenticeship. Now the 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:13.240 company was going to perform her work. 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:15.480 It was the first time I'm back in those studios 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:19.320 for someone back in Lincoln Center, since I had not 0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:22.000 gotten my job and Peter Martin's didn't hire me. 0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:24.800 When she returned to New York, Peter Martins was still 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:27.680 the director of the company, decades after he'd been chosen 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:29.040 to be Balancine's successor. 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:32.640 And we went out to dinner right that took us 0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:34.240 out to dinner, and they made sure to tell me 0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:35.520 that I was going to be sitting next to Peter 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:38.479 because he knew me, so that would make him feel comfortable, 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:41.840 and that I was responsible somehow for that. 0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:45.320 Adriana says throughout the dinner, Peter was chumming with her, 0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:49.560 periodically touching her leg or her arm. Again, she felt 0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:51.720 like she was playing a role that did not fit. 0:15:52.440 --> 0:15:55.680 But like, is that just Peter's behavior. I don't think so. 0:15:55.960 --> 0:15:58.800 I think there's this like system, it's passed down. It 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:01.040 has to be. I wasn't there. I didn't know, mister 0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:02.880 b I know the stories, I don't know what's true. 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:03.600 I don't know what's not. 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:07.280 Adriana grew up hearing stories and anecdotes passed down through 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:10.880 generations of women who had danced for balancing. At the time, 0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:15.200 they felt useful, like don't think, just do it, offered 0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:16.920 a way to get out of her head when she danced, 0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:19.600 but there was one quote that always felt off. 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:25.200 Ballet is woman, okay, but woman is what woman is straight, 0:16:25.440 --> 0:16:30.920 woman is thin, woman has makeup on, Woman makes her 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:35.920 male director feel confident. If we're using like partnering as 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:39.360 kind of a metaphor, I think it's like what the 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:43.600 woman's role is, Like the men are in charge, the 0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:46.760 men make the choices, and we are We're gonna hold 0:16:46.800 --> 0:16:49.120 ourselves and put our foot out and point it and 0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:53.480 be the person who's following, not the person who's leading. 0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:57.040 I think it's like the same on stage and off. 0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:00.960 That's the legacy. It's like I don't even know if 0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:03.680 it's distinctly balanchees or just ballet's legacy, but it's like 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:06.920 those are the roles that we play ballet as women. 0:17:07.040 --> 0:17:10.080 But women don't have a say anything that happens to 0:17:10.160 --> 0:17:13.560 them or their bodies. Like that's what's passed down. 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:17.680 The choices made about the choreography or staging in ballets 0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:24.760 can perpetuate that. There's a moment. In Peter Martin's rendition 0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:28.399 of Romeo and Juliet, at one point, the audience hears 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:32.359 a loud slap, the sound of Juliette's father hitting Juliet 0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:36.200 and knocking her down, a detail that was never part 0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:42.840 of Shakespeare's play. The company also performed a work called Odessa. 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:47.439 It was by a Russian choreographer, Alexey Radmonsky, and in 0:17:47.480 --> 0:17:54.000 the piece he staged a controversial gang rape scene. In 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:58.600 twenty seventeen, the same choreographer, Redmonsky, posted on Facebook about 0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:02.000 gender equality and ballet, and it got a lot of attention. 0:18:03.119 --> 0:18:06.520 He wrote, quote, sorry, there is no such thing as 0:18:06.560 --> 0:18:09.960 equality in ballet. Women dance on point, men lift and 0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:13.880 support women, women receive flowers, Men escort women off stage, 0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:16.480 not the other way around. I know there are a 0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:19.480 couple of exceptions, and I am very comfortable with that 0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:26.240 end quote Above this caption, he posted an image two 0:18:26.359 --> 0:18:31.080 dancers in Apatida. The picture was classic, almost stereotypical, but 0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:34.880 it had been photoshopped clearly in order to appear absurd. 0:18:35.960 --> 0:18:38.640 Instead of the man lifting the woman, the two tuned 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:42.119 point two ballerina lifts the man above her head in 0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:49.239 a suspended overhead lift. Adriana says when she saw it, 0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:52.639 the post made her physically ill. The idea that this 0:18:52.760 --> 0:18:56.800 extremely influential, world famous choreographer would say there was no 0:18:56.960 --> 0:19:01.399 equality in ballet and he was okay with that. Adriana thought, 0:19:01.960 --> 0:19:05.040 this cannot be the only way we understand gender in ballet. 0:19:06.480 --> 0:19:08.760 That was really hard. I can't accept that. I'm like 0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:11.080 not okay with that, and I'm absolutely not okay with 0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:15.199 moving forward with his art form just not having not 0:19:15.280 --> 0:19:18.199 be a consideration, especially with newarks being quarreographed. 0:19:28.800 --> 0:19:33.120 Adriana lives in an upper Manhattan studio apartment. She wears 0:19:33.119 --> 0:19:36.000 a backwards baseball cap. When she opens the door, her 0:19:36.000 --> 0:19:40.640 big smile almost gleams through miss Small boxes still wait 0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:44.440 to be unpacked after a recent move. She rolls her neck, 0:19:44.560 --> 0:19:46.960 rubbing an injury that had her paralyzed in bed for 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:51.480 a day. The shower stops running, and Adriana's girlfriend emerges 0:19:51.520 --> 0:19:55.919 from the bathroom, Ala odey. ALA's long brown hair is 0:19:55.960 --> 0:19:59.840 wavy and damp. She limps over her broken foot, still healing. 0:20:00.560 --> 0:20:05.040 Both of them are professional dancers, Adriana perches on her 0:20:05.119 --> 0:20:08.399 knees on the bed. Aila hopples over and hops on. 0:20:08.880 --> 0:20:11.520 She snuggles into what seems like an ala shaped nook 0:20:11.640 --> 0:20:16.720 in Adriana's arms. Adriana kisses her forehead and beams is. 0:20:16.800 --> 0:20:19.360 They share the experience of making art that they love. 0:20:21.160 --> 0:20:26.200 It is probably one of the most like freeing feelings 0:20:26.200 --> 0:20:30.479 to dance on stage. But obviously, just like ballet as 0:20:30.520 --> 0:20:38.679 an art form, there's a heavy influence of sexism racism. 0:20:39.400 --> 0:20:44.240 This is ala Odey, Adriana's girlfriend. AILA's currently a soloist 0:20:44.280 --> 0:20:47.320 at Carolina Ballet. The two of them see a lot 0:20:47.320 --> 0:20:49.800 of overlap in their experiences. 0:20:49.880 --> 0:20:51.280 Just like the world we live in, there are a 0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:54.640 lot of systemic issues that put people into a lot 0:20:54.640 --> 0:20:55.240 of boxes. 0:20:55.760 --> 0:20:58.560 Yeah, did you ever worry that, like you would look 0:20:58.600 --> 0:20:59.760 to butch on stage? 0:21:00.119 --> 0:21:03.520 I mean constantly all the time, because I'm very like physically, 0:21:03.560 --> 0:21:07.040 I'm athletic. I'm not like your a little wafy ballerina, 0:21:07.080 --> 0:21:09.560 And so then it's like that's perceived to be more 0:21:09.600 --> 0:21:15.560 masculine and athletic because athleticism is stereotyped with masculinity, and 0:21:15.640 --> 0:21:19.160 therefore any movement I do is going to be perceived 0:21:19.160 --> 0:21:22.440 to be more masculine. So I always am thinking about, 0:21:22.480 --> 0:21:25.320 like if I'm in like something that seems like a 0:21:25.400 --> 0:21:29.880 role that's more feminine or like the the male view 0:21:29.920 --> 0:21:32.720 of femininity, I'm like, Oh my god, do I look 0:21:32.800 --> 0:21:35.399 like like a lesbian out here? 0:21:35.520 --> 0:21:38.600 You know? Is that an issue? When I first came 0:21:38.640 --> 0:21:40.560 to Mimas Ballet, there was a one of the principal 0:21:40.640 --> 0:21:44.040 dancers said, oh, is age on a lesbian because she 0:21:44.080 --> 0:21:48.480 looks like one? Yeah, And I from like the moment 0:21:49.119 --> 0:21:51.800 I started working there, I was like so terrified that 0:21:51.840 --> 0:21:54.600 I was like, yeah, that the way that I dance 0:21:54.600 --> 0:21:56.439 somehow is like giving me away, and that people in 0:21:56.440 --> 0:21:59.320 the audience would be like that one dyke, you know, Like. 0:21:59.280 --> 0:22:01.399 I don't know, but it was very scary. No, it 0:22:01.480 --> 0:22:05.560 is really scary, and like especially too. I mean, more 0:22:05.560 --> 0:22:07.720 of my fear was when I was closeted still in 0:22:07.840 --> 0:22:10.560 like people would point blank be like, oh, are you 0:22:10.720 --> 0:22:13.800 Leslian And then I'd be like, no, I'm not, and 0:22:13.840 --> 0:22:16.600 They're like, are you sure. I didn't even think it 0:22:16.640 --> 0:22:22.320 was possible to be a queer female identifying ballet answer. 0:22:25.680 --> 0:22:30.720 That was until three years ago, in twenty twenty, he 0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:34.200 lives at Carolina Ballet. She's sitting in a choreography workshop. 0:22:35.280 --> 0:22:38.080 I'm like sitting on the floor. You know. 0:22:38.200 --> 0:22:43.119 I was fresh in the company and in walks this blonde, tall, 0:22:44.119 --> 0:22:48.160 beautiful woman in a blue stripe button down, and I'm like, 0:22:48.920 --> 0:22:51.399 what is that? 0:22:51.400 --> 0:22:53.520 That is not a straight woman. 0:22:54.480 --> 0:22:57.760 It was Adriana walking in to help run the workshop. 0:22:57.760 --> 0:23:00.560 And I kept asking around, being like she gay? Is 0:23:00.600 --> 0:23:02.359 she gay? Like I was asking it all of my 0:23:02.400 --> 0:23:03.480 friends and stuff, and they're like. 0:23:03.400 --> 0:23:05.840 I don't know, Like I don't know her, you know whatever. 0:23:06.200 --> 0:23:11.000 And so, actually, Adriana was the voice female queer ballet 0:23:11.040 --> 0:23:22.560 dancer I ever met. You're one of the first people 0:23:22.560 --> 0:23:25.000 I like really came out to because you walked in 0:23:25.080 --> 0:23:28.520 and I was like, oh my god, I'm not alone. 0:23:28.680 --> 0:23:31.040 And so then I damned you because you made a 0:23:31.080 --> 0:23:36.920 huge impact on me. Clearly, even though I know knew 0:23:36.920 --> 0:23:39.199 it was okay to be gay, I just was like, 0:23:39.280 --> 0:23:43.560 not in my field, doesn't really exist because you know, 0:23:43.720 --> 0:23:47.840 there was no visibility for any queer women in ballet. 0:23:48.520 --> 0:23:50.399 It's not part of our world. It's not part of 0:23:50.400 --> 0:23:53.520 the conversations that like we're allowed to have through ballet. Right, 0:23:53.600 --> 0:23:56.720 So even though there have been queer women throughout history. 0:23:56.760 --> 0:23:58.080 We don't know who they are in the same way 0:23:58.080 --> 0:24:00.720 that I know like every single one of Valancine's sexual partners. 0:24:00.760 --> 0:24:07.280 You know what I'm saying. It's like, no, that's so true. 0:24:08.160 --> 0:24:11.000 It felt impossible because I had just simply never seen it. 0:24:14.119 --> 0:24:17.600 Periodically, Adriana gets a text from another queer dancer to 0:24:17.720 --> 0:24:20.680 check out an Instagram post, almost like a treasure hunt 0:24:20.680 --> 0:24:23.200 for the stories of queer ballet dancers who came before 0:24:23.200 --> 0:24:25.360 her instag was on Instagram. 0:24:25.440 --> 0:24:25.920 Yeah, I did. 0:24:26.400 --> 0:24:29.240 Adriana scrolls through her Instagram feed looking for something. 0:24:29.960 --> 0:24:31.480 This is how this is like, I don't even know, 0:24:31.520 --> 0:24:33.840 I have to look it up. This is what I'm saying. 0:24:34.720 --> 0:24:37.639 So I actually don't know how to pronounce that lie 0:24:37.880 --> 0:24:39.560 I see. I don't even know how to pronounce it. 0:24:39.600 --> 0:24:42.040 But miss Fuller became an overnight sensation when she danced 0:24:42.040 --> 0:24:47.399 her patented Serpentine dance at Fulle Brgier in Paris in 0:24:47.480 --> 0:24:50.360 eighteen ninety two. Fuller even managed to be openly lesbian 0:24:50.400 --> 0:24:54.720 while evoking virtually no titilation or disapproval in her public Interesting. 0:24:54.880 --> 0:24:58.800 Interesting So nineteen fourteen's photos From nineteen fourteen, there was 0:24:58.880 --> 0:25:03.520 also another one. Oh. Here it is Catherine de Ville, 0:25:04.200 --> 0:25:08.080 first first black woman with the Bolshoy in nineteen hundred ish. 0:25:08.400 --> 0:25:11.000 Her dad was Creole push back on doing Coopelia in 0:25:11.040 --> 0:25:15.880 white face, and despite having two husbands, was queer Captain Davillier. 0:25:15.960 --> 0:25:20.000