Speaker 1: Are you leave in I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 1: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 2: time and a terminol and gay a. We want to
Speaker 2: send you off InStyle. We want to welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 3: We scared her?
Speaker 1: Was it fine?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 1: Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Ride? Do you need.
Speaker 3: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 3: This is Chris.
Speaker 1: Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgaroth from our homes here
Speaker 1: in southern California.
Speaker 3: Yes, Quarantine style. Hello Karen, my friend.
Speaker 1: Hello Chris?
Speaker 3: How are you? I'm good? How are you?
Speaker 1: I'm really good. Now that I've seen your hair, it's
Speaker 1: gone from unwieldy wild to now it looks like you're
Speaker 1: kind of styling and shaping it in its large, almost
Speaker 1: like you have a really big perm from the late sixties.
Speaker 3: This might blow your mind, but I did nothing to
Speaker 3: shape or style it except wake up. I put some
Speaker 3: I put some hair mask in it before bed, and
Speaker 3: that's really been seeping into I just wanted to lay
Speaker 3: down at some point. I've never grown my hair to
Speaker 3: wear it. It actually defies gravity and goes down at
Speaker 3: any point. I don't think it'll ever happen.
Speaker 1: I don't think it can unless it's like two feet long,
Speaker 1: because it would have like, how would it do it?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: Relaxers, should we get you some Queen Helene? Relax it?
Speaker 3: When I did? She does she make collect the Paul
Speaker 3: Ryan thing. I got my hair professionally straightened, oh right,
Speaker 3: and it lasted for like two days. It wasn't quite
Speaker 3: worth it, but it did. It was still wavy, and
Speaker 3: I still had to bombard it with pomades.
Speaker 1: And you know that's because your hair grows very fast.
Speaker 1: Have you been told that?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: And the weird thing is it grows fast on the side.
Speaker 3: This is from a shaved side long on the top,
Speaker 3: haircut grown out, And this is what grows the fastest.
Speaker 3: Right in this quadrant, much faster than this side. Weird,
Speaker 3: so much faster. This is a huge This is where
Speaker 3: all the growth is. Of course there isn't as much
Speaker 3: up here, but I'm not complaining. There's there's all people
Speaker 3: out there and my I mean, I have other problems
Speaker 3: I'm not bragging.
Speaker 1: And some people don't think balding's a problem whatsoever.
Speaker 3: Exactly, and I might be. I don't think it is. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you can just shave your head and look like Jason Statham,
Speaker 3: whose movies I've been watching on YouTube. I have watched
Speaker 3: so many action movies I didn't realize and now it's
Speaker 3: just suggesting more. And I'm down this Expendables wormhole. I
Speaker 3: don't watch any comedy.
Speaker 1: Don't ever go down an Expendables wormhole. It's never ending,
Speaker 1: smells like mothballs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been watching way too many acts. I'm watching
Speaker 3: Breaking Bad right now because I never watched it.
Speaker 1: Very good show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, now I can be part of those conversations from
Speaker 3: years ago. I still don't know what happens.
Speaker 1: He breaks down. What season are you on?
Speaker 3: Very final? Season five, episode sixteen, probably the last one.
Speaker 3: I'm about to see what happens. I don't think it
Speaker 3: ends well.
Speaker 1: Uh No, many meth stories don't end well, and this
Speaker 1: one is no different. Yeah, but uh don't you love
Speaker 1: the wife Skyler?
Speaker 3: I do? Yeah, she's becoming it was The show reached
Speaker 3: a point where no one was redeemable except the DEA
Speaker 3: agent guy and It's like, you're not even supposed to
Speaker 3: be rooting for him and I when the main characters
Speaker 3: aren't likable, that whole pulp fiction syndrome. I kind of
Speaker 3: tune out. I gotta like somebody.
Speaker 1: Oh but I love Skyler, Yeah I do.
Speaker 3: Now That's why I'm glad I'm watching the end because she's.
Speaker 1: Oh, you like had a journey through where you're like
Speaker 1: enough of that, lady.
Speaker 3: It was a journey of liking and unliking and re
Speaker 3: li liking.
Speaker 1: Which is isn't that just like li?
Speaker 3: It really is. It does with people too. It's so amazing.
Speaker 1: Do you remember the scene where he throws the pizza
Speaker 1: on the roof? Yes, spoiler alert, you know he did
Speaker 1: that in one take. That just happened. Oh right, that's
Speaker 1: how it turned out when he first tried to do it,
Speaker 1: I was supposed to throw it somewhere else.
Speaker 3: That's funny. I remember seeing that and wondering how the
Speaker 3: hell he did that on purpose?
Speaker 1: Yeah? And also, isn't Bob Odenkirk unbelievable in that show?
Speaker 3: Yeah? He's the best. I remember a long time ago.
Speaker 3: I can't remember. It was an audition that I knew.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't get and there was all these people that
Speaker 3: I look up to waiting and he was right before me.
Speaker 3: I can't remember what it was, but back then, this
Speaker 3: was before Breaking Dad, and I always and at the
Speaker 3: kind of the peak of David Cross's career, and I
Speaker 3: was always thought, just because he's my favorite from that
Speaker 3: show you were on, mister yeah, mister that show you
Speaker 3: were on to you, mister show is my father's name.
Speaker 1: Mister show's my father. Call me, Please call me Karen.
Speaker 3: But I'm like, man, why isn't he not He's always
Speaker 3: been such a great actor. And then you know, I
Speaker 3: predicted it. He owes me an apology or thank you,
Speaker 3: you're welcome, Bob I was.
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes when I see people that we know
Speaker 1: from comedy in TV shows, that actually totally ruins it
Speaker 1: for me, because all I can think about is them
Speaker 1: getting it and how nervous they are or they don't
Speaker 1: seem or that they're good actors comparatively or bad or
Speaker 1: it just takes me out of it entirely. And so
Speaker 1: I had that moment of like, oh no, but he was.
Speaker 1: That character is so different than actually Bob Odenkirk. It's
Speaker 1: so strange and it's like he's doing a comedy character
Speaker 1: but not real but so real. Yeah, yeah, Like it
Speaker 1: just made me so happy. Do you want to hear
Speaker 1: some inside? This is a story you'll only hear here
Speaker 1: on Do you need a ride? It's exclusive?
Speaker 3: Yes, I do. I want to hear inside, scoop.
Speaker 1: It's kind of hilarious. They did a Mister Show reunion
Speaker 1: on Zoom the Zoom Tacular.
Speaker 3: Oh recently, Okay.
Speaker 1: It was Wednesday. I was invited to it. I said, yes,
Speaker 1: I would love to do it. I thought it was
Speaker 1: on Friday. I thought it was today. So I missed
Speaker 1: it entirely, and like four minutes before it was starting,
Speaker 1: Jill Tally called me to say and she texted me
Speaker 1: after she called, but I was on the phone with
Speaker 1: my friend and I saw that she called. And my
Speaker 1: first the first thing that went through my head, which
Speaker 1: is so embarrassing and stupid, but I'll say it anyway,
Speaker 1: is I thought she was calling to wish me happy birthday,
Speaker 1: which was Monday. So I had this It was like
Speaker 1: very egoly, and then like people started texting me going
Speaker 1: why aren't you on this? And then I was like,
Speaker 1: oh god. And so it turned out when Bob asked me.
Speaker 1: So Bob was the one. Bob was the organizer, which
Speaker 1: is kind of hilarious, and he had my old email address.
Speaker 1: So when I responded, I said, I'm so excited that
Speaker 1: you asked me. I can't wait. Please use this email address.
Speaker 1: It's my cat mail, it's my current one. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: Please don't use my earthlink anymore. And he didn't see it.
Speaker 1: So then I was like, I was like, if I
Speaker 1: don't hear from him, because I saw that it was
Speaker 1: on the fifteenth, So I was like, well, if I
Speaker 1: don't hear from him by Thursday, I'll just go check
Speaker 1: my old email address again. Did I never use Yeah?
Speaker 1: And then so that was just a plan in my head.
Speaker 1: And so when those calls started coming in on Wednesday,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh fuck, Like I should have checked
Speaker 1: that email again because.
Speaker 3: The were like what must be for my birthday? Like
Speaker 3: the time you got that woman was giving you a balloon.
Speaker 1: It was exactly the balloon bouquet, but in a phone
Speaker 1: call where it was like, no, Jill's trying to call
Speaker 1: you and give you bad news, and like it was
Speaker 1: it was so embarrassing.
Speaker 3: But anyway, you would have had to have learned lines
Speaker 3: was the reunion just a chat or where there.
Speaker 1: Was like a script. But when I got the email,
Speaker 1: the original email was like script is coming, blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: But then what I didn't the update I didn't get
Speaker 1: was that the date changed and this script came and
Speaker 1: a bunch of other stuff went and it was all
Speaker 1: too The email that I own that only is like
Speaker 1: Zappo's twenty five percent off one eight hundred flowers, Like
Speaker 1: it's all basically coupons and bullshit. It's one of those
Speaker 1: emails that I never look at.
Speaker 3: Did it works really wid? Did it work the zoom
Speaker 3: as well as these things work.
Speaker 1: No, I was on the phone. Oh, then I was.
Speaker 1: Then I was like, oh my god. Then I was
Speaker 1: like scared. I was scared. Yeah, it was happening real time.
Speaker 1: Then I was like, oh my god, they're going to
Speaker 1: be so mad or they're going to think I'm an asshole.
Speaker 1: And then Jill when when it was over, Jill texting
Speaker 1: me back and she goes, oh, bob nose, he messed up.
Speaker 1: It was really it was very sad and hilarious.
Speaker 3: Will from the show, Yes, yeah, she's great.
Speaker 1: She's like the main female cast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: itally she's cool. I know it. It was, but apparently
Speaker 1: it went great. I mean they threw it together. It
Speaker 1: was for charity. I think they're re airing it so
Speaker 1: people can watch it again sometime soon. And you know
Speaker 1: it was they wrote a bunch of new sketches and
Speaker 1: new stuff, so apparently it was great. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I didn't think I would like watching sketch comedy on Zoom,
Speaker 3: but I think I like it better than an audience laughing.
Speaker 3: It turns out I don't like not only laugh tracks.
Speaker 3: Oun't like live audiences. I'd rather watch people play their
Speaker 3: part in living rooms. Maybe not with sketch, but when
Speaker 3: someone's doing a one person character like they have been doing.
Speaker 3: I've been enjoying SNL for the first time in years.
Speaker 1: I like that's what we were saying, like that that
Speaker 1: what's up with that sketch? There's stuff, there's stuff going
Speaker 1: on where you know the effort that's being put in
Speaker 1: and how hard it is, Like we have a hard
Speaker 1: time just having a regular conversation because the timing is
Speaker 1: so fucking weird.
Speaker 3: Everyone appreciates it audience wise too, because they're also using
Speaker 3: the same I love that everyone's using Zoom, except there's
Speaker 3: one guy, Charles Zoom getting rich. I assume his name
Speaker 3: is his last name is Zoom, like Tom Cruise, But
Speaker 3: I yeah, I did the other day, I did a
Speaker 3: morning show in Chicago. There's a woman named Lily that
Speaker 3: likes our podcast and booked me on this show. I
Speaker 3: had to get up at eight in the morning, and
Speaker 3: they just wanted to see a tour of my apartment.
Speaker 3: So it was over Zoom and they had a background
Speaker 3: in each of They were in their living rooms too,
Speaker 3: but they had a background, so it looked like I
Speaker 3: was on a panel show. And it was so fun.
Speaker 3: They were delightful people. But it opened with I'm like, well, look,
Speaker 3: here's a clock my dad made. And I got up
Speaker 3: and went to lean back to take a picture of
Speaker 3: this clock, and I fell over, ironically, the other redwood
Speaker 3: friend of it's this table and landed on this eagle
Speaker 3: and it gabbed me in the ass and I fell back.
Speaker 3: I hurt my hand skateboarding the other day, but not
Speaker 3: as bad as I did when I fell over this
Speaker 3: table and landed and it was swollen and bruised. I
Speaker 3: think maybe I broke my hand. And they all laughed
Speaker 3: they thought I was doing a pratfall. I'm like with it,
Speaker 3: I did, I said, I really uh hurt my hand
Speaker 3: just then I do believe And they're like, ha ha
Speaker 3: uh physical comedy. I'm like, no, really, I didn't have
Speaker 3: time to so it was throbbing and I was in
Speaker 3: so much pain. But I did this twenty minute tour
Speaker 3: of my home, of my wallpaper basically, and it was
Speaker 3: so fun.
Speaker 1: There is yeah, I'm sorry, did you is it? Because
Speaker 1: they've been seeing your videos like on Instagram.
Speaker 3: I think they know that. They listened to the host
Speaker 3: one of the hosts, John and this woman Lily that
Speaker 3: works for the show. They both listened to the podcast.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: And I hate that word when talking of about myself,
Speaker 3: but I was a celebrity guest.
Speaker 1: And gutting yourself above everyone. But here you are, Hey,
Speaker 1: there you go. It's just, you know, it's something I'm
Speaker 1: getting used to. But I was so this was broken.
Speaker 1: It broke off the wing and the head.
Speaker 3: I had a clue it.
Speaker 1: How about we put that up on a high shelf
Speaker 1: and get it people?
Speaker 3: If you actually very dangerous looking.
Speaker 1: It's a very poky wings out what an eagle Chris
Speaker 1: is holding up right now. That looks like it would
Speaker 1: be on President Trump's desk.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's why I love it. It reminds me of that
Speaker 3: time a real eagle attacked him.
Speaker 1: And there's like that time he talk of salad on
Speaker 1: Synco to Mile. Oh god, what what version of reality
Speaker 1: are we in?
Speaker 3: I love that it did cut I have. I can't
Speaker 3: show my ass, of course, but there is an abrasion
Speaker 3: from that bird. How great you go on? I said
Speaker 3: to myself, that's right.
Speaker 1: Never let him see you abraise the classic saying did
Speaker 1: you have that haircut? Hairstyle?
Speaker 3: I did? I did? I let him. I gave him
Speaker 3: the whole package.
Speaker 1: Nice. That's called entertainment. It's called being an entertainer.
Speaker 3: That's entertainment. One of my favord houses by the.
Speaker 1: Jam Oh I thought you meant the old the old
Speaker 1: fashioned one. That's and the tame I did. My favorite
Speaker 1: song is from a Follies from nineteen thirty five.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you love that? Did you rag time?
Speaker 1: That old thing? Didn't you do a stand up show
Speaker 1: the other night too?
Speaker 3: Lad? I have been, I've really been. At first, I
Speaker 3: very much wasn't enjoying it because we're so used to
Speaker 3: I especially am. If I don't hear people laughing, I
Speaker 3: think I'm doing terribly even when I'm not. Yeah, I'm so.
Speaker 3: This has been pretty good for me to just trust
Speaker 3: that what I'm saying is working and plow through it.
Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden it's solo podcast mode.
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, it's like I'm just driving around talking
Speaker 3: to myself. I can do that and later find out
Speaker 3: that people like it. I don't need to know right now.
Speaker 3: Why am I so impatient?
Speaker 1: No? I know. It's almost like writing a letter or
Speaker 1: being gossiped about. You hear about it after the fast.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, or when it matters yeah, or being in
Speaker 3: a relationship and you don't know until years later that
Speaker 3: they loved you or hated you. Yeah. Yeah, that's fun too. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So let us know if you hate us, but wait.
Speaker 1: A few months, let's really put a pause on the hate.
Speaker 1: Definitely let us know if you love us though. That'll
Speaker 1: help us in these trying times.
Speaker 3: Put a pause on the hate should be everywhere right now.
Speaker 1: Put a pause on the hate until quarantine's over. Mens.
Speaker 3: I also, my friend, I've been I agreed to do
Speaker 3: this just so I would have a story, because it's
Speaker 3: hard to have news for each of us to tell
Speaker 3: when we're just sitting in our houses. I drove down
Speaker 3: to Huntington Beach to check out a van that's going
Speaker 3: to be modified into a dump truck for my very
Speaker 3: good friend's business in Montana. He brings mulch and wood
Speaker 3: chips to people's houses. It's an app called Little Dumps,
Speaker 3: and they there's a truck down here that can't be
Speaker 3: resold in California because it smog testing or it's diesel
Speaker 3: or something. So for a very affordable price, they're going
Speaker 3: to buy it. And I was thinking of driving it
Speaker 3: to Montana, but then I started thinking about truck stops
Speaker 3: and gas nozzles, and I feel like it's not safe
Speaker 3: enough to do that yet. But I went down to
Speaker 3: Huntington Beach and no one had a mask, and no
Speaker 3: one won, no one was wearing a mask. It's fifty
Speaker 3: minutes south and it's like another world. I saw kids
Speaker 3: in the backs of trucks, and absolutely it's not just
Speaker 3: the protesters there. It seemed like it was everyone because
Speaker 3: their numbers are lower, and it was even the guy
Speaker 3: that was selling the van had a mask, but it
Speaker 3: wasn't on his face. And I'm like, Wow, you're the
Speaker 3: only guy I've seen with a mask. He's like, well,
Speaker 3: I know you're from Los Angeles, so I knew you
Speaker 3: would have a mask, Like he was conscious of the difference.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't. I feel like those the news
Speaker 1: covering those protests, when it's like, you know, one hundred
Speaker 1: people or whatever, it's the worst thing they could have
Speaker 1: done because they're giving permission to people who were wouldn't
Speaker 1: would normally have just followed the rules. Yeah, But then
Speaker 1: they see people flawn flaunting the rules that way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then they're like, well, then they're just buying into
Speaker 1: the easiest rationale of it doesn't really matter, and it's
Speaker 1: like it you can tell yourself anything you want, but
Speaker 1: it does matter, and when people die. You know, the
Speaker 1: in Huntington Beach and down that in Orange County, the
Speaker 1: numbers went up six hundred and fifty percent the case
Speaker 1: the amount of care went up that much. Two weeks
Speaker 1: after those protests because people it was started going I'm
Speaker 1: going to the beach.
Speaker 3: I've been meaning to look that up, and it totally
Speaker 3: makes sense. And the people I was seeing, they're normal
Speaker 3: people that aren't defiantly yelling and saying this is my
Speaker 3: riote as an American or anything. They just like you said,
Speaker 3: they saw that on the news and they're like, well,
Speaker 3: I'm not going to be a dick about it, but
Speaker 3: if they aren't wearing a mask, I'm not well.
Speaker 1: And the news isn't following up with the like putting
Speaker 1: the report at the top of the news in the
Speaker 1: same way that the protest was at the top of
Speaker 1: the news. So it's like there's an actual direct correlation
Speaker 1: in this direct effect, but they're not reporting on the effect.
Speaker 1: So everyone's telling themselves it's fine, we can all carry
Speaker 1: our guns around and everything's fine because we've decided this
Speaker 1: is reality, and it's like it's not. It just isn't.
Speaker 3: What's there a gun thing happening in conduct.
Speaker 1: Well, that's the whole thing. When they were saying reopen everything,
Speaker 1: and they were bringing and that was more. It didn't
Speaker 1: happen in California as much as the crazy one in
Speaker 1: Michigan and in different and like I think Colorado a
Speaker 1: bunch of like you know, state capital type of sites
Speaker 1: where people were just showing up with guns going reopen
Speaker 1: the state, and it's just like it doesn't work that way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm proud of my little town, Missoula, Montana, which
Speaker 3: happens to be a liberal place for Montana. And they
Speaker 3: everyone's still following the rules. They're just you know, you
Speaker 3: have to. Most businesses are still closed. Everyone's wearing masks,
Speaker 3: and I think that that's what we should be doing.
Speaker 1: Still.
Speaker 3: I would love to drive up there in a dump truck,
Speaker 3: but it's too scary for me.
Speaker 1: It's pretty scary.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, it's just it's just such a question mark. And
Speaker 1: that's the thing that just makes no sense. It's like
Speaker 1: it's such now this world is divided into the people
Speaker 1: who understand that the question mark is the threat, and
Speaker 1: then there's the people who are taking the question mark.
Speaker 1: Is that means nothing's happening. It's just like a horror movie.
Speaker 1: It's exactly like a horror movie.
Speaker 3: And I've been watching those two. I'm watching a lot
Speaker 3: movies exactly about what's happening, to check the accuracy of
Speaker 3: what they thought a pandemic would be ten years ago.
Speaker 1: So did you watch Contagion because I just watched it.
Speaker 3: The other night.
Speaker 1: Sure, it's so bad.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The idea that the Renee Russo and Dustin Hoffman are
Speaker 1: a married couple that are about to get doors Ludacris. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Rene Russo is like one of the most perfect looking
Speaker 1: women in all of the history of show business.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's as unbelievable, as unbelievable as uh as oh
Speaker 3: who in Tutsi, Jessica Lang.
Speaker 1: I mean I love Dustin Hoffman too, is great. I
Speaker 1: think he's great and witty and stuff like that. But
Speaker 1: then you're seeing in the Moor, You're like, hmm, you
Speaker 1: couldn't have gotten oh Renaine Russo equivalent here?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, there is a different problem there.
Speaker 3: We can all love Dustin Hoffman, but no one's accusing
Speaker 3: him of being hot.
Speaker 1: Well you can't. I mean, I don't know. It's if
Speaker 1: you're going to do that, then you have to build
Speaker 1: in the love story much clearer. So what is it?
Speaker 1: Why are they connected? Is it just disease?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Or do those two dogs that they own together? Also,
Speaker 1: what about that poor little monkey that had so many
Speaker 1: scenes in that movie and all that it was like
Speaker 1: clear clearly being like shocked and scared and like there
Speaker 1: were so many disturbing little monkey scenes.
Speaker 3: Have you seen Project Decks If you want some disturbing
Speaker 3: monkey scenes? In a great movie. You gotta see Project Decks.
Speaker 1: Do you like monkey spinning in a big in a
Speaker 1: big barrel? Yeah, in a big space.
Speaker 3: Uh, monkey astronauts, we all know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you. Do you want to see a
Speaker 1: monkey space camp? That's what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 3: Do you want to see a monkey hooked up to
Speaker 3: an oxygen tube floating around with joy.
Speaker 1: Screaming at the top of his lungs, saying, please, don't
Speaker 1: make me be an actor anymore. I want to pull
Speaker 1: someone's face and genitals off.
Speaker 3: You know, I worked with the tiny monkey from Friends.
Speaker 3: I can't remember the monkey from Friends its name, but
Speaker 3: Ross had a monkey and Marcel Marcel, thank you.
Speaker 1: You're welcome.
Speaker 3: That monkey is alive and well and difficult to work with.
Speaker 3: It sounds like I'm it was for.
Speaker 1: Much like David Swimmer.
Speaker 3: Difficult. It's really full of himself, taller than.
Speaker 1: You'd expect, constant screaming.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes and uh, and has a pending lawsuit with
Speaker 3: Jennifer Aniston. This monkey just kidding. I don't know that's
Speaker 3: made up. Sorry David Swimmer, but this monkey, it really did.
Speaker 3: The monkey did throw its poop at me. At one point, Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's a fucking monkey. Yeah, it doesn't want to be there.
Speaker 3: After a few days, though, I think the monkey could
Speaker 3: tell that I liked it and wanted to be its friend,
Speaker 3: and then it was nice and would like grab my
Speaker 3: finger and stuff. I'm like, hi, I need to grab
Speaker 3: my finger. And it really made me feel good. That's
Speaker 3: all I wanted a monkey.
Speaker 1: You you won that angry monkey over?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I just want to win over the angry
Speaker 3: monkeys same or anyone that goes like me. I will
Speaker 3: focus on you until you like me, even if you're primates.
Speaker 1: Like it's like how it happens in stand up where
Speaker 1: you scan the audience and you only land on the
Speaker 1: person that's just sneering at you. But it's a monkey
Speaker 1: with its arms, girls, I will.
Speaker 3: Oh god, I'm on to a show for an entire
Speaker 3: audience of monkeys, just for the visual, not for the
Speaker 3: way to make me feel. Yeah, monkeys, aren't you want
Speaker 3: them to be your friend? I love them on video.
Speaker 3: I wanted him to sit on my shoulder, but I
Speaker 3: could tell at any moment he would just snap and
Speaker 3: no one would be there to answer questions.
Speaker 1: No, because also, even though there are those you were saying,
Speaker 1: it's one of those little like a cat, not capuchin,
Speaker 1: but this little monkey. Yeah monkey, we still need the
Speaker 1: strength of ten men.
Speaker 3: Oh totally.
Speaker 1: Oh this could turn on me and just pull my
Speaker 1: arm off just any minute. Also wait, sorry, going back
Speaker 1: to the film Contagion, which when I started watching it,
Speaker 1: there was something in me where I'm like, fuck it,
Speaker 1: I'm watching this. I'm gonna make myself watch it like that.
Speaker 1: It was gonna scare me or help me adjust to
Speaker 1: this new normal blah blah blah whatever, and it was
Speaker 1: just silly, kind of like Kevin. What about Kevin Spacey
Speaker 1: with his red buzz cut? Oh yeah, Like I forgot that.
Speaker 3: He was in that. Yeah, Yeah's there's a lot He's
Speaker 3: hard to watch now, right because he was playing he
Speaker 3: and this is a common theme for him, I think.
Speaker 1: But it's like he's playing this smug asshole in this
Speaker 1: way where it just stands out. It's like eats up
Speaker 1: the scenery in this way. We're just like, why would
Speaker 1: you all be friends if you talk this way.
Speaker 3: To Dustin and if you went back to that set,
Speaker 3: you know, the director was just like be yourself, Kevin.
Speaker 1: What about how scary? Donald Sutherland is as that like nuts,
Speaker 1: so general, that's just like kill the entire town.
Speaker 3: He is so Yeah, he can really scare me in
Speaker 3: a way no one can I blame invasion of the
Speaker 3: body snatchers. Yes, he just brings the fear in me
Speaker 3: in a way that Keiefer doesn't.
Speaker 1: You're right, I think because I think Donald Sutherland. His
Speaker 1: voice is so deep, his eyes are so big and bulgy,
Speaker 1: and he enunciates really perfectly, and that to me is
Speaker 1: the tryad of evil.
Speaker 3: I've been meaning to start enunciating. I think it would help.
Speaker 3: I'm going to start right now. Okay, Am I scary?
Speaker 3: Am I scary to you? Look it up big? My
Speaker 3: eyeballs are caring.
Speaker 1: Those were some big eyes.
Speaker 3: What about yeah, Karen.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes see that's no good.
Speaker 3: Oh if you people could see this video, I'm horrifying.
Speaker 3: Karen Carrot, Okay, I'm done.
Speaker 1: If you only got that you had a little top
Speaker 1: hat embedded in your hair right now, that would make
Speaker 1: it the area.
Speaker 3: One somewhere in my apartment. It just pins in.
Speaker 1: There, just just a little pin tiny.
Speaker 3: Oh my, I'm so excited. My dollhouse arrives in one week.
Speaker 3: I don't know why it's taking so long.
Speaker 1: I have all Oh, I'll tell you. There's a pandemic.
Speaker 3: That's right. Everyone is ordering dollhouses. Everyone has dollhouse fever.
Speaker 1: This is the thing where whence big stuff happens, people
Speaker 1: panic and they buy dollhouses. It's a way of comforting yourself.
Speaker 1: Everyone's doing it. The whole dollhouse shelves are empty at
Speaker 1: the grocery store. It happens every pandemic, this happens.
Speaker 3: It's yeah, it's like we're confined to our houses, and
Speaker 3: people are like, we have no choice but to go
Speaker 3: even smaller. Yeah, I'm gonna confined myself to a miniature home.
Speaker 1: That's actually it does kind of make sense. Like you're
Speaker 1: in your house, and I'm sure most people are just like, oh,
Speaker 1: I wish this house was bigger. But if you get
Speaker 1: a dollhouse, there's a little perspective, there's a little gratitude attitude.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe that's it. I'm just is my place small
Speaker 3: now as compared to this dollhouse. It'll make me feel
Speaker 3: better about my own house now.
Speaker 1: I live in a palatial estate compared to this little house,
Speaker 1: this tiny house for dolls.
Speaker 3: Are you how was your mother's day? Did you do anything.
Speaker 1: Everything was fine, everything was regular. Then I it was like,
Speaker 1: you know, it's whatever. I kind of stayed off social
Speaker 1: media a little bit. Then at the end of the day, yep,
Speaker 1: I decided to do a social media post about my mom.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 1: But I took the secret behind the scenes fact. I
Speaker 1: took a picture and it's of actually of my mom
Speaker 1: and my sister because it's from nineteen sixty eight. Did
Speaker 1: you see that because she has huge hair. She has
Speaker 1: like a big old beehive. No, it's a little bigger
Speaker 1: than yours. Yeah, And I basically just was like, I
Speaker 1: miss my mom. She was the best, call your mom
Speaker 1: if you can type of thing. But then the responses
Speaker 1: to that is that is what made me sad, because
Speaker 1: there's so many people that are just like us whose
Speaker 1: moms have died either recently they haven't had them for
Speaker 1: a while. Yeah, lots of people who have moms they
Speaker 1: miss really bad. And they were people were telling me
Speaker 1: little stories and posting pictures and it was very lovely,
Speaker 1: but it was it was just like, you know, that's
Speaker 1: how that holiday is. It's a little bittersweet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was right my last Mother's Day, I just
Speaker 3: had something to distract me, I guess, but this time,
Speaker 3: just like you at like nine PM, I'm like, well,
Speaker 3: I have to. I've been holding onto this video of
Speaker 3: trying to make her laugh towards the end, and I
Speaker 3: posted that and then the response is, like you said,
Speaker 3: is what made me really think about her for days after.
Speaker 3: But also so people kept sending me this same video
Speaker 3: because I guess. I've talked about how my mom would
Speaker 3: watch me skateboard secretly in the house, and I'd hear
Speaker 3: her cheer when I would land something, and I'm so embarrassed,
Speaker 3: and I'd even go in and tell her to stop
Speaker 3: watching me, which is so silly now because how cool
Speaker 3: is that that she would watch. But there's a video
Speaker 3: of some this guy does a trick and this woman
Speaker 3: pass her by loses her mind. She's jumping up and down.
Speaker 3: She can't believe what she just saw. She drops her
Speaker 3: bags and she's clapping, and then the skater comes up
Speaker 3: the stairs and she hugs him. She was so she'd
Speaker 3: never seen anything so excited. And then everyone sent me
Speaker 3: that and said, that's how your mom would act.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's there's one of a woman who does that
Speaker 1: and she's telling him to try again. Is it that one?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, no, it's just the guy does the trick.
Speaker 3: And then this woman is she justestarting. She just becomes
Speaker 3: part of the video. She runs down thing with joy. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's it's the best I've been it.
Speaker 1: I love that people. That's the effect of skateboarding. Did
Speaker 1: you see that? I posted a video these three skateboarders
Speaker 1: in Canada and I think it was Toronto or Montreal.
Speaker 1: I can't remember, Sorry, Canada. I do that all the time.
Speaker 1: But yeah, they because there's so little traffic on the freeway,
Speaker 1: these three skateboarders just came to they were they were
Speaker 1: skateboarding down the freeway, took an exit, and somebody filmed
Speaker 1: them from uh like a high rise. So it was
Speaker 1: the cool Did you see it?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: It was so cool.
Speaker 3: Headline was like police are investigating they like it was
Speaker 3: they were looking for these criminals.
Speaker 1: Yes, And then the guy that retweeted wrote we retweeted it,
Speaker 1: wrote I've looked into this case and I find it
Speaker 1: it's something like it totally shreds or fucking shreds or
Speaker 1: something like that. That's so awesome. But I retweeted it
Speaker 1: and it was that kind of thing of Like if
Speaker 1: it was nineteen ninety eight, I would have never retweeted
Speaker 1: that because I would be a poser scape. I have
Speaker 1: nothing to do skateboarding, Like how dare you? But it's
Speaker 1: like it just feels like these days you can kind
Speaker 1: of like you're allowed to be a fan of things
Speaker 1: without having to qualify to be a fan of something. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and even maybe more specifically, it seems like it
Speaker 3: is something that if you're doing it alone, plus they
Speaker 3: were all six feet apart, it's something that is okay
Speaker 3: to do right now. Yeah, yeah, because you're by yourself.
Speaker 3: And even golfing you have to go to a place,
Speaker 3: go to a parking lot, go to a you have
Speaker 3: to be around people. So you see someone golfing, it's
Speaker 3: like too soon. But skateboarding you really don't have to
Speaker 3: be around anyone. You can be by yourself. Yeah, but
Speaker 3: I've been doing it, and I have to admit I
Speaker 3: don't wear a mask so someone could come up to me,
Speaker 3: but I can skate away.
Speaker 1: True, you have an escape roAP. Also, don't you just
Speaker 1: have a mask like around your neck or are you
Speaker 1: and your buddies? You can't do it because there's a
Speaker 1: serious masculinity issue.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, everyone has. It's just in the back pocket.
Speaker 3: But it is kind of hard to breathe. Like I've
Speaker 3: been trying to jog, which I'm terrible at. I forgot
Speaker 3: how to run and my lungs are the worst. But
Speaker 3: I I have it down like that, Yeah, and then
Speaker 3: if anyone comes up, I put it on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's same. I've been taking walks around my neighborhood
Speaker 1: and I just keep it on my wrist because there's
Speaker 1: almost no one around, and then if someone comes you
Speaker 1: throw that thing on. But it is hard to breathe,
Speaker 1: and it is such a strange adjustment, Like I think
Speaker 1: people expect themselves to just be immediately fine with it,
Speaker 1: where it's like, no, you're wearing a fucking mask. It's
Speaker 1: totally weird. It's totally weird. It's not normal.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a weird confidence though, Like the times I've
Speaker 3: been driving with a mask and someone looks over at
Speaker 3: me as far as they know, you're so beautiful underneath that.
Speaker 3: My jawline could you could crack as with it? It's
Speaker 3: so sharp. But really I'm just hiding behind a mask.
Speaker 3: I think that's why men have beards.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, some Yes.
Speaker 3: My mask is my beard a person that I'm pretending
Speaker 3: to be a relationship with that you're.
Speaker 1: That you're just justifying things too.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, ah is not the term. Yeah, you're pretending
Speaker 3: you have a beard. I'm pretending my mask is my girlfriend.
Speaker 3: Never mind you guys.
Speaker 1: That you're saying that you meant.
Speaker 3: I think I use the term wrong. Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Have you seen the the Netflix documentary about the Circus
Speaker 3: of Books that you know me on Sunset it is?
Speaker 3: I've always driven by it and I always heard yeah,
Speaker 3: that's mainly a porn store, but the story behind it
Speaker 3: and the family that owned it is amazing. You should
Speaker 3: very much.
Speaker 1: I gotta watch it.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Is it just called Circus of Books.
Speaker 3: Yes, and it's just a family, normal family that in
Speaker 3: it was a a a place for gay men to
Speaker 3: not only get buy things, but hang out. Like there
Speaker 3: was a whole social scene that happened there. And I
Speaker 3: think there was another location, maybe in West Hollywood. They
Speaker 3: kept jumping back and forth to the different locations. I
Speaker 3: guess there's there.
Speaker 1: Were two locations, but or at least at least two
Speaker 1: because I in the nineties we went to the Circus
Speaker 1: of Books you know, Margaret Chow was always like, we've
Speaker 1: got to go in there. Her parents owned a porn
Speaker 1: store in San Francisco. Oh so that's like, yeah, that's her,
Speaker 1: that's her background. But she would go and get you know,
Speaker 1: like those big, like amazing photography books that were kind
Speaker 1: of like Maple Thorpy but other photographers or whatever. And
Speaker 1: I remember just standing in there with her kind of
Speaker 1: like every everything. I would turn and be like, oh, yeah, totally,
Speaker 1: and then like open a book and then I would
Speaker 1: just yeah, shut it and turn turn away because I
Speaker 1: was just like, this isn't I don't think this is
Speaker 1: for me. A lot of this stuff is not for me. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like a poser there too. It's like
Speaker 3: I don't I shouldn't.
Speaker 1: It's tough.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you this is your place to hang out. Why
Speaker 3: am I here being a poser?
Speaker 1: And you know, when I was like in my twenties
Speaker 1: in San Francisco, almost all my friends were gay men,
Speaker 1: so I would go to like gay bars with them,
Speaker 1: and sometimes there would be guys that would just like
Speaker 1: be giving me really dirty looks, like well I was
Speaker 1: in the clubhouse and I shouldn't be there, yeah, which
Speaker 1: was a tiny bit heartbreaking to me. But it is
Speaker 1: that thing where it's like you're trying you. You've been
Speaker 1: a marginalized person all your life, and now you've got
Speaker 1: your like clubhouse. You don't want some fucking some straight
Speaker 1: you know, some gal with too much lipliner on just
Speaker 1: standing around staring at you.
Speaker 3: I've been meaning to address that with you. You were
Speaker 3: way too much flipliner back then.
Speaker 1: Plot that lipliner. It's too late. I can't do anything
Speaker 1: about it. These are mistakes of the past.
Speaker 3: You can't go back in time. Yeah, it's I love
Speaker 3: that movie. It talks to all these adult actors and
Speaker 3: it is the coolest. Watch it if you.
Speaker 1: Haven't, I'm definitely gonna watch it. I can't wait because
Speaker 1: there's I watched one the other day and it's like
Speaker 1: it's new on Netflix, and it was it was because
Speaker 1: I woke. I keep waking up at four in the morning, Steve,
Speaker 1: and that's when the other night I gave you notes
Speaker 1: on our our episode. I made a whole thing and
Speaker 1: it was I was up at four in the morning
Speaker 1: and these notes of about different things. I said. I
Speaker 1: was just like, can you just snip this? And I
Speaker 1: wrote like four notes they came to me almost like
Speaker 1: a dream. It was insane. So I like got up
Speaker 1: and wrote those down because I was like, I will
Speaker 1: definitely forget these if I don't write them down. And
Speaker 1: then I was just completely awake, you know, yes exactly.
Speaker 1: It was like my my sleeping. Once my mind could rest,
Speaker 1: it was like, and now this is what you said wrong,
Speaker 1: take it out. But but then I got it because
Speaker 1: I was like, now I'm up, I'm gonna eat some
Speaker 1: cereal yep, because I have any excuse to eat cereal
Speaker 1: every day or night.
Speaker 3: Oh that's so funny. I've been waking up at four
Speaker 3: and eating cereal too. I don't know why, and experiencing
Speaker 3: that clarity, like having ideas in that moment, and in
Speaker 3: a way, you don't have it when you wake up
Speaker 3: at nine or ten or eleven or noon, no whatever.
Speaker 1: My therapist told me, four am is a very creative
Speaker 1: time for the brain. And if you wake up, don't
Speaker 1: just immediately go oh, I have insomnia. It's bad. Don't
Speaker 1: decide it's bad. Yeah, just wake up and listen to
Speaker 1: what your brain's trying to tell you, and like definitely
Speaker 1: keep a notebook or something and write stuff down.
Speaker 3: Yep, I've been doing that too. And I've also been
Speaker 3: waking up at six when I go skateboarding with these
Speaker 3: guys with our masks, say in our back pockets, we
Speaker 3: need at seven am. So I usually don't wake up
Speaker 3: at six for anything, and so now a few times
Speaker 3: a week, so it's my whole sleep cycle. I've just
Speaker 3: given myself permission to nap whenever. I slept yes all
Speaker 3: day the other day and I was awake all night
Speaker 3: and finished my poster for my special that I want
Speaker 3: to show you guys. But ooh, I was like thinking
Speaker 3: more clearly in the middle of the night, and it
Speaker 3: came easier to design that than it was during the day.
Speaker 3: During the day, I wanted to put it off, and uh,
Speaker 3: it's oddly a time to focus. We should be able
Speaker 3: to sleep whenever we want.
Speaker 1: We can. Ben Franklin apparently that's that was his whole system.
Speaker 1: He would get up at four in the morning and
Speaker 1: complete do a bunch of work and like that. There's
Speaker 1: a whole belief system. And it's like there's circadian rhythms
Speaker 1: or something, and maybe I'm just naming things whatever, but
Speaker 1: it's something about that where like your brain is to
Speaker 1: have has a whole different like schedule that if you
Speaker 1: follow it and just let it be creative when it
Speaker 1: feels like being creative. But my point was when I
Speaker 1: got out, I got up, ate my cereal, turned on
Speaker 1: Netflix and there was this new thing on and it
Speaker 1: was basically a bunch. It was like a documentary about
Speaker 1: hallucinogenics and or hallucinogens. Right, isn't it good? I was
Speaker 1: Normally I'd be like, I care, Yeah, I just go through.
Speaker 1: I love He's so cool. Those stories were insane.
Speaker 3: That he pot stories. He made me want to do
Speaker 3: pi A A P eighty O.
Speaker 1: Don't don't you'll go crazy.
Speaker 3: One I made some pie because the Sting's payote stories.
Speaker 3: It was Yeah, I loved that. It's good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also those like it was really entertaining because
Speaker 1: I heard Ben Stiller tell that story about taking too
Speaker 1: much acid and and calling his dad, which is the
Speaker 1: It's just such a funny story and his like calling
Speaker 1: Jerry Stiller when you're on acid, R I P. Jerry Stiller.
Speaker 1: Yeah you were a legend.
Speaker 3: Yeah. He had just passed when I watched that, And
Speaker 3: so it was so sweet that story that him telling
Speaker 3: him it's going to.
Speaker 1: Be okay, it's gonna.
Speaker 3: Be and he thought he thought he was going to
Speaker 3: be in trouble.
Speaker 1: But yeah, and if he said it was like when
Speaker 1: I smoked a pal mall and threw up then, so
Speaker 1: I was like, it's not like that. It's such a
Speaker 1: good story.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I loved watching that. I loved all the
Speaker 3: reenactments in the animation. It was really cool.
Speaker 1: Also, some of the day that Jerry Stiller died, someone
Speaker 1: posted some outtakes from Seinfeld and that there was a
Speaker 1: scene between a Lane and Jerry Stiller. You were saying
Speaker 1: a piece of me, yes, And the way she laughs,
Speaker 1: she's trying so hard. She's such a pro and her
Speaker 1: laugh is funny in and of it stuff like that,
Speaker 1: but she can't fucking keep it together. It's the that's
Speaker 1: I love outtakes anyway. Yeah, go watch that if you're
Speaker 1: if you're feeling low, go watch some fucking Jerry Stiller outtakes.
Speaker 1: You'll love it.
Speaker 3: Oh, I mean, And while that was happening, Jason Alexander
Speaker 3: was he was crawling on the floor. He couldn't even
Speaker 3: control his ability to sit.
Speaker 1: It is. I love the things. The extra that was
Speaker 1: sitting next to Jason Alexander is just trying to like
Speaker 1: not get in trouble herself because you know, and stuff
Speaker 1: like that, because if she starts laughing, like the stars
Speaker 1: can do whatever they want. But those extras, if you
Speaker 1: get in on it, like you're with them too, you
Speaker 1: will get fired immediately. They'll just pull you.
Speaker 3: And guess no one ever saw her again.
Speaker 1: She was She was actually killed that night. Was Larry David.
Speaker 3: Yep, yeah, by Jason. He's played murderers very well. Think
Speaker 3: about it, Yes, speaking.
Speaker 1: A murderer's the bad guy and pretty woman.
Speaker 3: I hadn't seen it since I was twelve or thirteen,
Speaker 3: but I watched Misery the other day and it's a
Speaker 3: perfect movie.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen it in so long.
Speaker 3: It rewatch it and it ends up in a way
Speaker 3: that I really didn't expect it to.
Speaker 1: I I need to start making a list. Chris, you
Speaker 1: have Rex, Chris, I rapped it.
Speaker 3: There is only one there is. I do have some issues.
Speaker 3: I mean, everyone's seen it, so it's I'm not spoiling anything.
Speaker 3: But he crashes his car in the beginning right and
Speaker 3: then is randomly found by Kathy Bates happens to be
Speaker 3: this stalker of his. She doesn't throw tacks in the
Speaker 3: road or somehow set up a situation. He just randomly
Speaker 3: finds his biggest fan who happens to be a psychopath
Speaker 3: out in the middle of the woods. The chances of
Speaker 3: that happening are It's impossible.
Speaker 1: It is impossible. Yeah, yeah, I thought you were questioning that.
Speaker 3: I just feel like in the Moo. It's a perfect movie,
Speaker 3: by the way, and I'm sure the book is great.
Speaker 3: I don't read, but if I kind of wanted her
Speaker 3: to somehow be responsible for his car wreck, that's a
Speaker 3: like a spike strip like the cops use or something.
Speaker 1: You know, you should look into what Stephen King wrote
Speaker 1: in the book because sometimes right they pull things out,
Speaker 1: or they don't, they cut scenes or whatever.
Speaker 3: Maybe she was responding, Yeah, it seems like something Stephen
Speaker 3: King wouldn't overlook, you know, since I know him so
Speaker 3: well personally.
Speaker 1: Steve, he'd never overlook that.
Speaker 3: Steve, he is a man of details. Do you know that?
Speaker 1: Okay, we'd have two stories for you. Hold on, let
Speaker 1: me write down forget this second one first of all
Speaker 1: the first ones past. Stephen King wrote Kojo in an
Speaker 1: Alcoholic Blackout, which is one of my favorite factoids of
Speaker 1: all time, Like he did you know that?
Speaker 3: He came out he He's like, what's this? Oh it's great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he does not remember writing Kujo at all. Oh my,
Speaker 1: he doesn't Remembuh. This is a b point to that story,
Speaker 1: not the second story. Parts of Kujo were filmed in
Speaker 1: Pedaluma and along Yeah, along Butdega Avenue. When the when
Speaker 1: they're driving to the mechanics house they drive Basically it
Speaker 1: was the way home from school for us. So when
Speaker 1: I saw that movie, I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: it was like I saw a celebrity, but it was
Speaker 1: the street we used to drive down constantly. So I
Speaker 1: love that movie and that story. It's very close to
Speaker 1: my heart.
Speaker 3: Yeah, wow, there's there was something else I watched recently
Speaker 3: that took place in Pataluma. Quick list all the movies.
Speaker 1: Well, Panky So Got married? Get American Graffiti. Uh with
Speaker 1: the one Goonies you had a shit ton of them?
Speaker 1: Wait is it Goodies or no? What's the one where
Speaker 1: they all build a spaceship and fly away? Oh? Explorers
Speaker 1: Explorers with a hill by my dad's house.
Speaker 3: Yes? Yeah.
Speaker 1: And Ethan Hawk. I believe baby Ethan Hawks in that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they were both little chubby boys, and I that
Speaker 3: movie sticks out. Whoever the girl? He liked this girl
Speaker 3: and that's when they first made the I mean that
Speaker 3: movie takes a dive once they go to outer space
Speaker 3: and there's aliens. It's like, oh, come on, yeah, but
Speaker 3: he was like floating or at her window. Whoever this
Speaker 3: child actress was that that was my age. When I've
Speaker 3: watched this movie, I would have dreams about whoever that was.
Speaker 3: I don't even know who she was, but as a
Speaker 3: little kid, such a crush on the Did she have
Speaker 3: red hair?
Speaker 1: Was it Carrie Green, the girl that was in Lucas?
Speaker 3: It may have been her, or it may have been
Speaker 3: the Peterson girl.
Speaker 1: The girl from from Can't Buy Me loves Amanda Peterson.
Speaker 3: Amanda Pearson. Yeah, and she has a sad story. She
Speaker 3: like she just died, that she became a drug person
Speaker 3: and her mugshots are hard to look at because I
Speaker 3: was I had such a crutch on her too, and
Speaker 3: no one was supportive and nice door after that it
Speaker 3: makes me feel bad.
Speaker 1: Well, it's I mean, that's a classic. You know, she
Speaker 1: was like couldn't have been more almost like as I
Speaker 1: was growing up and you were growing up, like she
Speaker 1: was like the popular girl because she was like a
Speaker 1: teen girl in movies. That was the girl everyone likes.
Speaker 1: So in Patrick Dempsey and Can't Buy Me Love, he's
Speaker 1: doing everything in the world to get around this girl.
Speaker 3: He's mowing lawns.
Speaker 1: He's such a tragic nerd. And at the same time
Speaker 1: you buys her whatever, Yeah she is. She was so
Speaker 1: charming too. She was such a like lovely She wasn't
Speaker 1: like the popular girl that's like hot. She was like
Speaker 1: a believable pretty, nice girl. Yeah you know, no, she was.
Speaker 1: Amanda was her last year, right, aman, Amanda Peterson?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I already stopped desociating.
Speaker 1: Okay, but sorry, Who's what's the guy's name? This is
Speaker 1: my second story. What's the guy's name that was in
Speaker 1: Misery Ship James Cot Buy Me Love? Yes, James Conn Okay,
Speaker 1: Chris is your recommendation list so far? Misery, Can't Buy
Speaker 1: Me Love? Circus of books?
Speaker 3: Yes, all very worth. I stand behind those. Maybe not
Speaker 3: Can't Buy Me Love. It's it's just if you want
Speaker 3: to watch just to make sure that you would have
Speaker 3: a crush on that girl as a young boy, then watch.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I do remember. Also, Patrick Dempsey had a
Speaker 3: shirt while he is mowing lawns. His T shirt was
Speaker 3: that you are here and there's an arrow pointing in
Speaker 3: the universe yes, or or pointing to our universe in
Speaker 3: the Milky Way, or vice versa. Sorry, I don't know
Speaker 3: much about space except I like monkeys. But here is
Speaker 3: a comic JR. Brow that years go patented that design
Speaker 3: that you are here T shirt design, and at a
Speaker 3: time where people weren't just ripping off designs, it was copyrighted.
Speaker 3: And people are like, darn, I wish I thought of
Speaker 3: it because it was the late eighties or whatever. And
Speaker 3: he made a lot of money off that you are
Speaker 3: here space shirt.
Speaker 1: That's awesome.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, he's a he's a friend of mine. Just
Speaker 3: he's still in Austin making very funny videos lately.
Speaker 1: Also, well that the camp by Me Love reminded me.
Speaker 1: If you've never seen the movie Angus, which is basically
Speaker 1: the nineties version of Camp by Me Love but a
Speaker 1: different situation. It's such a good movie. N Lucas No
Speaker 1: No Lucas is an eighties movie. Yeah, yeah, all the
Speaker 1: all the greats. The Cory's went on a writer Charlie
Speaker 1: Sheen Kerry Green, and that was also carry Green. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was Kerry Green because she was she was basically
Speaker 1: like a different version of Amanda Peter. She was like
Speaker 1: kind of a redhead, maybe a tiny yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but that was one of win Ona Writer's first movies
Speaker 1: and went on A writer is from Petaluma.
Speaker 3: Oh wow.
Speaker 1: So we watched her, you know, we tracked I personally
Speaker 1: especially tracked her career as just like look at her
Speaker 1: doing a real movie, you know, and then you know her. No,
Speaker 1: she went to a public school, but everyone knew of
Speaker 1: her because but she left when she was like maybe fifteen,
Speaker 1: and she hated our town and she hated her school
Speaker 1: so like she did, she did not have a good time.
Speaker 3: She was such a goth. She was the girl from
Speaker 3: Beatle Juice.
Speaker 1: She was she was, she really was.
Speaker 3: Yeah. When I went to auditioned for things in Austin,
Speaker 3: renee Zellweger zel Weger, how do you say her name? Anyway,
Speaker 3: she got the hometown hero of all the casting places. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's fun to be able to like cheer for your
Speaker 1: person because they were like That means like maybe something
Speaker 1: could happen to me.
Speaker 3: Purfect went to my high school for year. That means
Speaker 3: I have hope.
Speaker 1: Look at Chris, he's really found his light listeners. Chris
Speaker 1: turned toward a lamp as you said that, and you
Speaker 1: looked like Judy Garland and a star is born.
Speaker 3: I've been doing enough Quarantine comedy shows that I have
Speaker 3: a whole light set up and a tripod in my bedroom,
Speaker 3: so I really I can do it too. Flight.
Speaker 1: It meant the world to me. Wow, you did it too, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because the suns are fucking there again.
Speaker 3: That looks that you look great? Was that sun? Wow?
Speaker 1: It meant the world to me. It hurts my eyes, yes,
Speaker 1: but you know it's gonna look it's going to it
Speaker 1: worth it. But anyway, if you haven't seen the movie Angus,
Speaker 1: it's from the mid nineties, it's so great. It's like
Speaker 1: the Pain of high School. It's so good, and it's
Speaker 1: it's like it's not the typical teen movie. It's like
Speaker 1: really good.
Speaker 3: I'm writing down Angus.
Speaker 1: Angus, it's great. Okay, But here's are you ready for
Speaker 1: my story about James Kant? So I worked on Ellen
Speaker 1: and that we would do bits. We would force these celebrities.
Speaker 1: They would get booked just to be doing promos for
Speaker 1: their TV shows and their movies. And then we would
Speaker 1: force them to do comedy bits. So James Cohn was
Speaker 1: on what was that show? Was it called Las Vegas?
Speaker 1: Do you remember?
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was.
Speaker 1: On the show called Las Vegas, so he was there.
Speaker 1: And then the comedy bit we were doing because it
Speaker 1: was like Oscar season, so we were making people do
Speaker 1: improvisational Oscar acceptance speeches. It was very but all you
Speaker 1: had to do was read the teleprompter, right, So, and
Speaker 1: I think we based I can't, I can't remember, but anyway,
Speaker 1: I was the one that had to go out and
Speaker 1: brief James Kahn, and I now that I think about it,
Speaker 1: I think the producer, because normally the celebrity producer would
Speaker 1: take care of all of that and we would just
Speaker 1: do the comedy bits and give them to the producers.
Speaker 1: But I think the comedy producers like, don't make me
Speaker 1: explain it to him, like you have to go do it.
Speaker 1: And I went out and was like, mister con we
Speaker 1: just we're just doing this. It's an Oscar acceptance bit,
Speaker 1: and you just look straight into this thing and I'm
Speaker 1: like explaining it. I'm like halfway through explaining it, which
Speaker 1: I in retrospect didn't need to explain almost anything. This
Speaker 1: man's been in show business for forty years already.
Speaker 3: They're going to play music, You're going to be wearing
Speaker 3: a tucked they'll hang.
Speaker 1: Right, they'll be at you. Yeah, there'll be a lighting cue.
Speaker 1: Just wait for that. Like I don't have to tell
Speaker 1: James con how to do a two minute bit on
Speaker 1: a talk show and so and meanwhile, the audience is dancing,
Speaker 1: the music is playing. It's very very loud, and so
Speaker 1: he and I are the only ones that can hear
Speaker 1: this conversation. And midway through my sense, he turns and goes,
Speaker 1: let's sorry to fuck up like scarmed it, and I
Speaker 1: just turned and midsense, I just turned and walked away
Speaker 1: because it was fucking hilarious.
Speaker 3: Yes, was he fully angry or was he kind of kid?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yes, I mean, I'm sure he was
Speaker 1: just frustrated and it was really loud, and he just
Speaker 1: wanted to lead like he didn't want to do. I'm
Speaker 1: sure he did. Hidio already done two segments of interview,
Speaker 1: then we make him stay for a third segment to
Speaker 1: you know, and do a dumb comedy bit that like
Speaker 1: he he probably said no to, and they tricked him
Speaker 1: into doing it anyway, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: it's like it's not fun for those people. It was
Speaker 1: so hilarious and I was kind of shaken after and
Speaker 1: then I was like, oh wait, that kind of is
Speaker 1: the best thing of all time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, let's read. But much like his son Scottie,
Speaker 3: he is a tiny person, right. I just know Kathy
Speaker 3: Bates was like towering over him in Misery.
Speaker 1: I think he didn't seem tiny to me.
Speaker 3: He was in bed most of the movie. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think you were thinking that him laying down was
Speaker 1: his height, and that's not it. That's not true.
Speaker 3: He's a disembodied shoulders and head right they no, no, no,
Speaker 3: a body, Oh no, oh.
Speaker 1: No, no no, no, he can stand. You should see his
Speaker 1: other films. He's got a ton of them.
Speaker 3: He has a body.
Speaker 1: He is a body, a Torso Limeley.
Speaker 3: James Kahan has a body everything.
Speaker 1: Yes, Chris into the Light, James Cohn's body. It's like
Speaker 1: another person's pot.
Speaker 3: Wow, it's got brighter. I didn't The Sun is Going
Speaker 3: Down as Sweet podcast I that movie that I've talked
Speaker 3: about all too much where the Scorpion was in my Pants.
Speaker 3: Scott con was also in that was he. Yeah, he
Speaker 3: was one of.
Speaker 1: The Wait was this the film Outlaws?
Speaker 3: American Outlaws?
Speaker 1: Yes, American Outlaws. I've seen it probably ten times.
Speaker 3: Are you kidding? Yeah?
Speaker 1: The thing's always on It used to always be on cable.
Speaker 3: It's funny. Yeah, it's like The poor Man's Young Guns.
Speaker 1: Yeah, or The dumb Man's Tombstone.
Speaker 3: I think everyone involved in, including the director who made Flubber,
Speaker 3: would agree.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but no one would do really quick, can we
Speaker 1: put that? Can we really quick put Tombstone on your
Speaker 1: recommendation list? Because Tombstone, if you haven't seen it with
Speaker 1: Val Kilmer, I'm your Huckleberry, is one of the best
Speaker 1: movies ever.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes it is.
Speaker 1: Okay, we're putting that down to Yes, it is the best.
Speaker 3: Val Kilmer at his peak was a man that I
Speaker 3: was enamored of. I want it is amazing. Yeah, that
Speaker 3: that combined with real genius. He could do everything he could.
Speaker 3: He could hear kick cancer.
Speaker 1: Did you see that or read that article in the
Speaker 1: New York Times about him?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Oh you got I'll send it to you. It's amazing.
Speaker 1: It's kind of about his whole career and in his
Speaker 1: life and the different things he's tried to do and stuff.
Speaker 1: But like he was an actor from Juilliard. He's one
Speaker 1: of the most talented actors you know, Hollywood's ever seen.
Speaker 1: But because he was he was method and he was
Speaker 1: you know like he was he made it difficult for
Speaker 1: people because he was like when he was Jim Morrison.
Speaker 1: He was Jim Morrison the whole.
Speaker 3: Time, right, you know, oh that thing where that kind
Speaker 3: of shit the camera off, you're making everyone uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Yes, exact clear, exactly. But then they in this article
Speaker 1: was cool because the woman who wrote it I believe
Speaker 1: it was a woman. She's kind of going over each
Speaker 1: role and then you realize, like, oh, yeah, he's unbelievably good,
Speaker 1: Like she's talking about him plant his character in Top
Speaker 1: Gun made that movie. Yeah, like because he grounded it
Speaker 1: and it was so real. But he and he was
Speaker 1: doing all this stuff, but he wasn't saying anything, and
Speaker 1: like how you know what a great presence he is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, even and like all the all the different
Speaker 3: films he did, Willow is good that the first Top
Speaker 3: Secret is like the for the brothers that made Naked Gun,
Speaker 3: who are they again? Yep, I forget their name.
Speaker 1: There's like a there's a Z in there, there's a y. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the ones that made airplane.
Speaker 3: Yeah. The Zeldner, said Zechaszek. Jason sidekis Zucker Brothers.
Speaker 1: Is Zucker brother Goddamn wait sorry, real genius and real
Speaker 1: genius and top secret are going on.
Speaker 3: Your real genius is going on? My red I wanted
Speaker 3: to be him. He's cool, he's funny, and then he's
Speaker 3: also smart in school, which is something I never was
Speaker 3: but wanted to be. H. Yeah, it's the best. It's
Speaker 3: the best. I love that movie. There's so many throwaway
Speaker 3: lines that are great funny lines and it still holds up.
Speaker 1: Wait, were you trying to tell an American outlaw story?
Speaker 3: Oh? I'm sorry, yeah, I uh that's okay.
Speaker 1: I interrupted you.
Speaker 3: No, I went Scotti kon. James Khan's son is into skateboarding.
Speaker 3: I guess he was a skateboarder. And I was at
Speaker 3: some event on the Fox lot where that fake street
Speaker 3: that they have of all the building facades. They had
Speaker 3: a skate contest, like a street contest there, and uh,
Speaker 3: and I was there just watching because I used to
Speaker 3: work there, and he was just watching skateboarding. And I
Speaker 3: went up to him because I knew this, and I
Speaker 3: know no one knows this about that movie, but I went, hi,
Speaker 3: I was an extra American Outlaws. Did you know a
Speaker 3: horse died? And it still says at the end of
Speaker 3: the movie no animals were harmed in this. And he
Speaker 3: looked at me like his father. He looked at me
Speaker 3: like I was accusing him of a horse murderer. He's like, what,
Speaker 3: I'm like, you were in American Outlaws, right, He's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: one day a horse died and I saw it happen
Speaker 3: and it wasn't And he's like all right, and he
Speaker 3: just like walked away. I've never felt stupider in my life,
Speaker 3: but much like you, I feel like I'm on his
Speaker 3: side in retrospect. Yeah, I mean, it was weird of
Speaker 3: me to go up and say dead horse to his face.
Speaker 1: It was what did you want him to do?
Speaker 3: He's like, I wanted him to go that's really interesting.
Speaker 3: My name is Scotty. Do you want to hang out sometime?
Speaker 3: Is that so much to ask?
Speaker 1: Yes? Too much?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Too much.
Speaker 3: I just wanted him to say, oh, weird, Yeah, I
Speaker 3: heard about a dead horse one an interesting thing. I'm
Speaker 3: glad you came up and brought that up. That's all
Speaker 3: I wanted.
Speaker 1: I'm glad you reminded me of one of my favorite
Speaker 1: times and one of my saddest times. You seem like
Speaker 1: a deep skateboarder to me. What's your name? Is that
Speaker 1: your real hair?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I would have loved to keep going, Karen, I'm
Speaker 3: imagining Scotty.
Speaker 1: Okay, now I'm Scotty Kahan. Hurry the fuck up, He
Speaker 1: says that constantly hearted.
Speaker 3: That that's more of what happened.
Speaker 1: Yes, he used to do plays near my old house
Speaker 1: into Luca Lake, at the Scotti Er James Scotti. He like,
Speaker 1: I think he either wrote a play or he's in
Speaker 1: a play. So I saw him like walking to his
Speaker 1: car a couple times, and I remember like just kind
Speaker 1: of spotting him and drive not carrying at all and
Speaker 1: not looking and then going. You like, your lifelong dream
Speaker 1: as a child was to work and live in Los
Speaker 1: Angeles and in Hollywood and be in show business. And
Speaker 1: now you are, and now you have these things around you,
Speaker 1: and you you're you're so jaded and you're so over it.
Speaker 1: Like even even Scott CON's not good enough for you. Now,
Speaker 1: what has happened to you?
Speaker 3: I know I'd like to I think I was just
Speaker 3: too excited and I seemed weird.
Speaker 1: No, I wasn't only at you. I was saying that
Speaker 1: about myself. Oh, I was saying that I was that way. Oh, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not lecturing you. I think it was very natural
Speaker 1: of you too. That was your one in what else
Speaker 1: would you do?
Speaker 3: Yeah, And to be clear, I was standing watching something
Speaker 3: and looked over and he was inches from me and
Speaker 3: no one was around him, and it only it seemed
Speaker 3: like it was okay to start a conversation. But it wasn't.
Speaker 3: It wasn't.
Speaker 1: I like to imagine it that your eyes were big
Speaker 1: and white and crazy, like when you were doing an
Speaker 1: impression of Donald Sutherland earlier. Yeah, and that's what made
Speaker 1: him go.
Speaker 3: Used to live in Austin, Texas, where that movie was filmed,
Speaker 3: you know, the one, the Cowboy one.
Speaker 1: And then he's like, wow, you have amazing diction. What's
Speaker 1: your name?
Speaker 3: Obviously I'm not from Texas, as you can tell by
Speaker 3: my diction.
Speaker 1: Weird and I both e standardized American accent.
Speaker 3: Clarice's you just keep calling him.
Speaker 1: Clarice's Hey, what's up, Clary's.
Speaker 3: Hello, Clary's You can hear the horses crying and you
Speaker 3: Claries just three security guard men grabbing me.
Speaker 1: Scott Concerts crying because you called them a girl's name.
Speaker 1: God damn it.
Speaker 3: You're not allowed to find out how fragile he was.
Speaker 1: He's a playwright and a sensitive soul. Oh, Scotty Scotty,
Speaker 1: Connie Stuffy Cottie. Oh, I'm just also picturing. It's really
Speaker 1: funny to just start. Anytime you see friends or family,
Speaker 1: you just say hello, Clarice, Hello, Ca.
Speaker 3: Why is and are you offended by it? Everyone? I don't.
Speaker 3: I'm being honest. I don't know what it means, but
Speaker 3: it's the new boomer or something where people say, yeah, okay,
Speaker 3: simmer down, Karen, Karen. It's now the go to name
Speaker 3: for what please.
Speaker 1: Expect for for racist white women, or for basically kind
Speaker 1: of for like republican white women who act like the
Speaker 1: world is supposed to be always operating in their benefit
Speaker 1: at all times. It started with those women who would
Speaker 1: call the police on black children who were like selling
Speaker 1: water on the sidewalk, or you know people, those women
Speaker 1: that kept getting caught on video calling the police because
Speaker 1: a black family was at a pool, or because they
Speaker 1: were teenagers standing in a park or whatever, and it
Speaker 1: was like those videos kept hitting more and more, and
Speaker 1: then someone started calling those women Karens, and now that's.
Speaker 3: You got it. I loved your name. You don't want that, no,
Speaker 3: I love it all.
Speaker 1: I love negative, I love positive attention. But I think
Speaker 1: it's really funny because it is. My name is very
Speaker 1: much like on the Way Out anyway. It's a very
Speaker 1: like you were born in the seventies kind of name
Speaker 1: Karen and Chris.
Speaker 3: Do you how many friends did you have named Karen
Speaker 3: where it's like Karen number two or people called you
Speaker 3: kel gaff.
Speaker 1: Or there was like a couple Karens in my school,
Speaker 1: but then it kind of like faded. I don't meet
Speaker 1: that many anymore.
Speaker 3: I would be in a group of six friends and
Speaker 3: chances are half of us would be named Chris. Maybe
Speaker 3: it's a Northwest trend, but mid.
Speaker 1: Chris was very common. Chris was super common.
Speaker 3: I had so many Chris friends.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Chris. And Jennifer was the name that everyone had
Speaker 1: when I was growing up as a girl named.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Jennifer is way up there, Yeah Jennifer Chris what
Speaker 3: I just and I always wanted a nickname. I always experimented,
Speaker 3: you know, I made my parents call me Scott for
Speaker 3: about a month until I was tired of it. CJ.
Speaker 3: My name is Christopher James. I always wanted to be
Speaker 3: a nickname. CJ is perfect, CJ Fairbanks, It rolls off
Speaker 3: the tongue, and I never, even though I'm surrounded by
Speaker 3: other chrises, no one would call me STJ.
Speaker 1: It's because, well, because any any how old were you
Speaker 1: when you came up with this plan?
Speaker 3: Uh, the honest to call me Scott? I was in kindergarten,
Speaker 3: so four or five? No?
Speaker 1: No, no, not Scott, but the CJ plan.
Speaker 3: Oh well, that's the other thing. I think. My friend
Speaker 3: Carl everyone called him CJ, so then there would have
Speaker 3: been two cjs. So I guess I guess I have
Speaker 3: Carl to blame.
Speaker 1: But how how old were you? I'm saying, Oh.
Speaker 3: Yeah, high school? I wanted to be CJ.
Speaker 1: Especially I think in that that's the prime age where
Speaker 1: if somebody comes forward with kind of a vulnerable like
Speaker 1: I've got an idea about how I can really stand
Speaker 1: out and shine, Oh yeah, it's your friend's job to
Speaker 1: crush you in that scenario, at least in the time
Speaker 1: I was growing up, Because it's like, oh, I've picked
Speaker 1: a new name. Everybody do what I say. It's like,
Speaker 1: not only will we not do what you say, but
Speaker 1: you will regret ever exposing a hope or dream to us.
Speaker 3: Yeah it's over. Yeah, Yeah, you can't give yourself the name.
Speaker 1: No, they can't. You can't. You can't act like you
Speaker 1: can control what other people see you as or how
Speaker 1: they are going to do anything towards you. You just can't.
Speaker 1: That's a very child, a.
Speaker 3: Child of respect that people just called me, Chris. Yeah,
Speaker 3: maybe that's in retrospect. I'm going to call you what
Speaker 3: your parents called you, because you know why, you're a
Speaker 3: stand up guy.
Speaker 1: Because your father's a good man and your mother is
Speaker 1: a strong and dedicated person.
Speaker 3: And my friend Chris Lamb, everyone called him Slammer, or
Speaker 3: they called him swanny. I don't want to tell you
Speaker 3: why they called him swanny. It's because he had a
Speaker 3: big penis and they saw in gym class and Ian
Speaker 3: Lovely said it looked like a swan's neck, it was
Speaker 3: so big, So they called him swanny. What if you
Speaker 3: had a nickname that also was an advertisement? That's all
Speaker 3: I wanted.
Speaker 1: That's a great Sorry, It's way better than c J.
Speaker 1: That's amazing.
Speaker 3: Calling me big Dick CJ. C J.
Speaker 1: Dickerson anything everybody I take on.
Speaker 3: I'd say, called Christopher Richards and I'd take anything any
Speaker 3: version of dick.
Speaker 1: Now, Swanny is an amazing Separate from the amazing compliment
Speaker 1: and congratulations to Swanny because isn't nice for him.
Speaker 3: But ever appreciated it to this day.
Speaker 1: He didn't like it. No, self conscious.
Speaker 3: I don't want people to know I have this giant hangar.
Speaker 1: What's the problem. I don't make problems where there aren't problems.
Speaker 1: Swanny exactly got it made in the shade.
Speaker 3: Swanni, come on, swan Man, come on.
Speaker 1: But that name, separate from the reason, is a great
Speaker 1: nick Swannye, yeah, yeah, it is.
Speaker 3: It is.
Speaker 1: They had nicknames in my high school because there was
Speaker 1: My high school was all bullies. That was like almost required,
Speaker 1: and everyone had the bully everybody and the boys especially
Speaker 1: They would make up nicknames. And you're like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't want to know why you're calling him that
Speaker 1: every single person had a nickname, like they called people.
Speaker 1: There was some one guy they called Juice and like
Speaker 1: they only I only ever heard his name is Juice.
Speaker 1: And then years later my sister said she was somewhere
Speaker 1: and they're like, yeah, you know Mark, you know Mark,
Speaker 1: because they're all like at that point thirty five or forty,
Speaker 1: and she's like, I don't know who you're talking about.
Speaker 1: And then finally someone else is like, Laura, it's Juice
Speaker 1: and she's like, oh, yeah, yeah, Juice, I know Juice.
Speaker 1: Like it was like that, like insane. You would get
Speaker 1: your nickname, you know, the fourth month of freshman year,
Speaker 1: and that's all you were called for the rest of school.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think you had to play football or something.
Speaker 3: There was a kid, Ryan Salisbury in my school. They
Speaker 3: called him Sauce and I thought, Sauce, catch it, Sauce.
Speaker 3: I'm like, wow, why is no one calling me so
Speaker 3: because I'm not catching any balls. Yep.
Speaker 1: You can't just pick other people to nickname.
Speaker 3: I swear. I tried to get him started. I'm like, hey,
Speaker 3: when we go by this group of people in the hallway,
Speaker 3: do you mind just calling me CJ? And no one
Speaker 3: would do it. Damn it.
Speaker 1: They were like, we gotta kick this guy out of
Speaker 1: our group of friends.
Speaker 3: I guess I'm so nerdy, just another Chris.
Speaker 1: Could you call me CJ? For just a little while.
Speaker 1: Everyone's like, well, since you're asking, no, the answer is
Speaker 1: a firm no. Maybe one day, could you call me
Speaker 1: Swany too? No, No, Swanny too.
Speaker 3: Swany part two?
Speaker 1: Please could you call me Swanny too? Electric Bugaloo. It'll
Speaker 1: take a long time, but it'll be so worth it
Speaker 1: in terms of.
Speaker 3: Social calling, Swanny too. Call in Revenge of the Goose,
Speaker 3: call me gooseman. Please call me goose man. I'll show
Speaker 3: it to you.
Speaker 1: I'll show it to you and Jim.
Speaker 3: If you just call me goose goose which bring us
Speaker 3: brings us right back to val Kilmer.
Speaker 1: Well, sorry, we have to put electric break into Electric
Speaker 1: Boogloo on your list.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there, that's number one. We watched it over and
Speaker 3: over our senior year. Everyone does some performance in the
Speaker 3: auditorium for the entire school, and Ross, the guy that
Speaker 3: I went to look at the dump truck for, and
Speaker 3: Andy and I, uh, we put together a breakdance performance
Speaker 3: along to Sea Is for Cookie by Cookie Monster. Oh,
Speaker 3: and we actually Ross learned he was like doing he
Speaker 3: did like a gymnastics move, and mostly we were spinning.
Speaker 3: But I learned the diving worm like we practice, we rehearsed,
Speaker 3: we put more effort into this performance than anything. And
Speaker 3: then when we did it for the whole school at
Speaker 3: the end, and I guess this is why we chose
Speaker 3: see it's for cookie. At the end, we threw cookies
Speaker 3: into the audience, but they they were backlit because the
Speaker 3: lights were all on stage and the auditorium was dark.
Speaker 3: So we were just pelting children. I think our principal
Speaker 3: got a cookie like in the forehead. We were hitting.
Speaker 3: We got in trouble. We've won the competition, by the way,
Speaker 3: but then we had to stay after school and clean
Speaker 3: all these cookies.
Speaker 1: So they were just loose cookies. They weren't like it
Speaker 1: wasn't like here's a little bag of cookies.
Speaker 3: We cracked open a sleeve and tossed them like frisbees.
Speaker 3: We were belting them. We should have done more of
Speaker 3: a rainbow throw. We were throwing them like throwing stars.
Speaker 3: We just got we were nerves.
Speaker 1: You're excited. Yeah. There had a lot of energy, a
Speaker 1: lout of.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And after that bug, after.
Speaker 1: After that performance, you didn't go could you call me
Speaker 1: the worm? Did you see me do the worm? I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be the worm?
Speaker 3: Please? What if I show you my pain is well,
Speaker 3: oh no that I don't know. No, please stop calling
Speaker 3: me the worm. I know I asked, I know, I
Speaker 3: asked you too.
Speaker 1: I swear this is the last nickname request I'm gonna submit.
Speaker 1: Your friends are just like, please stop talking to us.
Speaker 3: No, we're not gonna call you captain, big worm. Captain,
Speaker 3: how about captain? Take off that hat.
Speaker 1: No you're not a captain. Please, this is stolen valor.
Speaker 1: We did a when I was a junior, Me and
Speaker 1: Michelle Knowles and Christina Davis did a dance to the
Speaker 1: song Our Love Is Chemical, which was in the movie
Speaker 1: Nine and a half Weeks. We made it up. It
Speaker 1: was for the talent show and we it was such
Speaker 1: a hit and I don't know why. I don't know why.
Speaker 1: It was just really good. I think we just did
Speaker 1: really good moves and we were it was kind of
Speaker 1: cool and the song was cool and it was like
Speaker 1: this like Harack kind of thing at the end. It
Speaker 1: was so exciting, and then my sister goes. Dad's mad.
Speaker 1: He thought that dance was dirty.
Speaker 3: It's ruined everything.
Speaker 1: It was like two because we were doing you know
Speaker 1: kind of it was, you know, nineteen eighty seven. I think,
Speaker 1: so it's gyrations and stuff like that. He did not approve.
Speaker 1: He did not like it at all.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I haven't stopped to think if my parents were
Speaker 3: in the audience. Now I'm embarrassed.
Speaker 1: Were your parents in the audience.
Speaker 3: That's not how we taught you. What's that?
Speaker 1: Was there a beat under cus for cookie or were
Speaker 1: you being like funny?
Speaker 3: We were trying really hard to be funny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but you'd won. We were on the way.
Speaker 1: You were right.
Speaker 3: They I think they were like, wait a minute, they
Speaker 3: actually all learned to break dance. I still pull out
Speaker 3: those moves to this day.
Speaker 1: Oh, Chris, I stole your bid on. We did a miniesot.
Speaker 1: We recorded a miniesod for my favorite murder and Stephen
Speaker 1: what was the word it was? Georgia said something and
Speaker 1: then it remin Oh it was something about pot remember,
Speaker 1: and then it was like the leg I started doing
Speaker 1: the Zion bit and then I'm like, oh shit, I'm stealing.
Speaker 1: This is a bit from Chris Fairbanks from You Need
Speaker 1: to Rydal But I had to give you credit.
Speaker 3: And my special, I mean I almost called my comedy
Speaker 3: special Mount Zion, but I think it would be triggering
Speaker 3: for people. Uh it was, But yeah, legalize it. God,
Speaker 3: I shouldn't get like that. I wish that we had
Speaker 3: this conversation a year ago.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 3: But in conclusion, I mean, we're we're doing. I am that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, We're done.
Speaker 3: That special will be on Amazon in about a week
Speaker 3: and a half.
Speaker 1: Is that true? Chris? Okay, what's the name? What name
Speaker 1: did you land on?
Speaker 3: Well? I know that you had maybe didn't think it
Speaker 3: was the best, but it is a Once you see
Speaker 3: the opening and and the packaging of it, it'll be
Speaker 3: it's just a nonsense. It's called Rescue Cactus.
Speaker 1: Rescue Cactus.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's just a silly name. Yeah. I thought about
Speaker 3: it's going to be called bad timing, and then I
Speaker 3: thought that was maybe negative. Yeah yeah, like wait, I
Speaker 3: timing is all I have bad writing, but I'm not
Speaker 3: gonna call it that. So it's called Rescue pat And
Speaker 3: it looks it looks good on the poster, and it
Speaker 3: makes sense after you watch the special. Most names of specials,
Speaker 3: you have to watch it and then you're like, oh,
Speaker 3: that's why it was called that.
Speaker 1: Well, and as long as we get the name out
Speaker 1: to our listeners, who will then tell five loved ones
Speaker 1: or friends the same name and then everyone will watch it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll make it, yeah officially once we're but it
Speaker 3: is finished. The edit was finished today and the color
Speaker 3: correction and the subtitles and all that fun stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't wait. You have to definitely please text
Speaker 1: Steven that information about like where it's premiering and the
Speaker 1: name and everything, so that we remember to say it
Speaker 1: on my favorite murder. Oh that'll be amazing, so many
Speaker 1: more people hear it.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Karen, and I mean and a it's this
Speaker 3: lady way. Oh you're such a Karen, I mean my friend.
Speaker 1: Thanks Karen, Thanks Karen, your name.
Speaker 3: We were talking about the names of specials. We were
Speaker 3: talking about cactus. We're talking about bad timing. We're talking
Speaker 3: about legalize.
Speaker 1: Legalize it whatever it was, it wasn't worth it. LegalZoom
Speaker 1: dot com, legal zoom dot com. All right, are we done?
Speaker 3: I got it.
Speaker 1: There's nine movie recommendations. I don't know what more people
Speaker 1: want from you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, get to watching Misery.
Speaker 1: Misery is number one. Oh. I put the movie Magic
Speaker 1: as number two, even though I didn't say it out loud,
Speaker 1: and I don't know why. It's like I want to
Speaker 1: remind myself to watch the movie Magic. Because it's about
Speaker 1: a demon ventriloquist dummy from and Anthony Hopkins is the star.
Speaker 3: I'm watching them. You never seen me?
Speaker 1: Hang up, it's really it's good. It's from the seventies.
Speaker 1: It's creepy. It's like all the things you need as
Speaker 1: a creepy movie.
Speaker 3: Did you say Hopkins are Hopper? Dennis Hoppin, Anthony.
Speaker 1: Hopkins, Anthony Hopkins?
Speaker 3: Oh, Hopkins and Hopper? Did they ever do it?
Speaker 1: Hello? Hello Clarice, Oh hello, k that's what made me
Speaker 1: put it on there. That's what we think of it.
Speaker 3: Quizmed, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty shirt's Anthony Hopkins almost positive, Yeah, because the
Speaker 1: doll looks like him. Very disturbing. Yeah right, it's totally
Speaker 1: sun sundown like so good.
Speaker 3: Did you see you bound that day? Is that what
Speaker 3: you were saying?
Speaker 1: Mayor me or meor meor meir me or me or
Speaker 1: me or meor maor meer another great, let's put that on.
Speaker 1: Gord's Gold is number ten on the recommendation list.
Speaker 3: You guys have a busy, busy weekend.
Speaker 1: We go totally off the movie list and.
Speaker 3: To plug with you, Karen, No, I.
Speaker 1: Don't think so well. Oh that's what I was going
Speaker 1: to say is because you and I talked about your
Speaker 1: the name of your special, which again is Rescue Cactus.
Speaker 1: But for a little while I was arguing for bad timing.
Speaker 1: But I was going to say, don't listen to me
Speaker 1: because and I don't think I told you the story
Speaker 1: last time. But when they were naming Mister Show, David
Speaker 1: was it was one night we were at a live
Speaker 1: show we were all doing together, and David was going
Speaker 1: around and taking a poll of all of his friends
Speaker 1: and saying, what do you think we should name this show?
Speaker 1: Should we name it Mister Show or Grand National Championships?
Speaker 1: And I was like, it has to be Grand National Championships.
Speaker 1: Obviously that's the way better name. It's such a good name.
Speaker 1: And he's like okay, And then of course they didn't
Speaker 1: and clearly mister Show is a way better name. But
Speaker 1: like I was so sure, I was positive it needed
Speaker 1: to be Grand National Championships.
Speaker 3: I was going to it's just clung if it's a
Speaker 3: lot of words, I wanted it to be at least
Speaker 3: one word, if not two, And I for a while
Speaker 3: it was going to be emotional support comedian because I thought, oh,
Speaker 3: people will click on that because those are trending words
Speaker 3: or what you know, it's you can think about it
Speaker 3: forever and need I mentioned, but we did a sketch
Speaker 3: show in Austin called The hyper Jackson Chamber, which we
Speaker 3: thought was amazing, and then after a while I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: so many words. You know. Yeah, mister show is like elbow.
Speaker 3: It's a linguist would suggest it.
Speaker 1: It's simple, clean, small compact, travel size.
Speaker 3: Sharp, constantine, clariss a cellar door.
Speaker 1: It's it's the cellar door.
Speaker 3: It's a vowel with peaks and valleys.
Speaker 1: And also, no one really gives a shit about the title.
Speaker 1: You're right, it's likely they need to know how to
Speaker 1: find you. Half the time they'll be searching by your
Speaker 1: name anyway. But Rescue Cactus, Rescue Cactus. Just everybody remember
Speaker 1: Amazon Rescue Cactus.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Carrien. Yeah, you're welcome.
Speaker 1: And you're welcome.
Speaker 3: To put in questions for future episodes. Oh yes, let's
Speaker 3: do the fun.
Speaker 1: So and our logic here is we found out that
Speaker 1: our numbers go way up when you guys get to
Speaker 1: ask us questions that we answer, which we should also
Speaker 1: think of other ways people can participate that way, so
Speaker 1: that they feel engaged. And it's not just us remembering
Speaker 1: things and telling them to.
Speaker 3: Their movies for them to watch later.
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly. So yeah, if you have questions or you know,
Speaker 1: and it's not you know, we've done lots of Q
Speaker 1: and A. You can ask us anything anything you want,
Speaker 1: or talk or bring up anything you want and have
Speaker 1: us talk about it or whatever. It doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be like a probing what was it like when you
Speaker 1: were eleven? It can just truly be like, what's your
Speaker 1: favorite type of couch? And I will tell you a
Speaker 1: fucking leather sectional and all that fast and see do
Speaker 1: you see why the number skyrocket this kind of back
Speaker 1: and forth podcast.
Speaker 3: That that interactions like that, I'll take us to the
Speaker 3: top of the church.
Speaker 1: Look out, Hey, guess what, CJ, You and me are
Speaker 1: going to the top of the charts. Karen and CJ
Speaker 1: making it great. So write in your questions call me
Speaker 1: goose neck. Wait, sorry, do we write am in? Steve
Speaker 1: and everyone knows how to do it at this point, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think we'll have J make a social post and
Speaker 1: you can just comment on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Awesome, perfect,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you all right?
Speaker 3: Great? Sorry, Chris you've been listening to Do you need
Speaker 3: a ride? My name is CJ. Swannee bear Pangs.
Speaker 1: E y N d U I n A.
Speaker 3: I leave.
Speaker 1: Way back home.
Speaker 2: Either way we want to be there. Doesn't matter how
Speaker 2: much baggage you claim and give us time and a
Speaker 2: terminol and gay. We want to send you off instart.
Speaker 1: We want to welcome you back home. Tell us all
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 3: We scared her?
Speaker 1: Was it fine? Melbourne?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need.
Speaker 3: A little Peter with Karen and Chriss