1 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:11,479 Speaker 1: And it's time for the b a q q A. 2 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: Okay q a you said at the b a q 3 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:19,279 Speaker 1: a no way. Welcome to the Brown Ambition Question to 4 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:23,200 Speaker 1: answer where you have questions and we have answers ish 5 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 1: meaning we're not your mama, We're not your attorney, we're 6 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:33,480 Speaker 1: not your financial advisor. We're two smart brown girls who 7 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 1: just have opinions. 8 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 2: Take it with the grain of salt, huge grain of salt. Also, 9 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 2: I feel like we're maybe a little bit better of 10 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 2: a source than your mother, you know, shout out Tom. 11 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 1: I mean unless your mother is, like, you know, a 12 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 1: financial advisor. But my bad. 13 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:51,159 Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely all right, y'all cannot wait to take your 14 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,160 Speaker 2: questions this week. It's going to be some juicy, juicy 15 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 2: career questions, so you know I'm fired up. But before 16 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 2: we jump into it, just a reminder about how you 17 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 2: can get your question featured on browann Ambition. Hit us 18 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:05,560 Speaker 2: up at brand Ambission Podcast on ig and you can 19 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 2: also email us at brand Ambission Podcast at gmail dot 20 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,840 Speaker 2: com or one stop shop. Go to brand Ambition podcast 21 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 2: at no go to Brandebision podcast dot com. Shoot us 22 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 2: your questions anything money and career related. We love to 23 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 2: see it do. Let us know if you want to 24 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 2: be anonymous, if you do, make it fun, choose a pseudonym. 25 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 2: You know, we don't want to be anonymous annies, right, 26 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:29,759 Speaker 2: give us a pseudonyms. 27 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,320 Speaker 1: Canty yourself, something funny and crazy. The duck lady, I 28 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 1: don't know. Like, for example, I'm looking, man, do you 29 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,320 Speaker 1: see I'm looking inside the doc that we're reading from it. 30 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 1: If someone is anonymous goose, I love that. 31 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,319 Speaker 2: Oh really, Oh dang, I should chose her question or 32 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 2: their question anonymous. 33 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,399 Speaker 1: No, no, I'm saying like that. That's what someone who's in 34 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,280 Speaker 1: the dock right now, who's like, you know, on our team, 35 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: like they're like. 36 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Google is funny. 37 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 1: Yes, it's like this. 38 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:58,680 Speaker 2: Yes, Well, let's jump on in. Got some really juicy 39 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 2: questions today. First question comes from listener who wants to 40 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 2: go by be all right, Queen Bee. Queen Bee says 41 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:07,639 Speaker 2: Mandy and Tiffany. I'm looking for some career advice. Hearing 42 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 2: how astute you ladies are, well, thank you when it 43 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 2: comes to careers. Here's a question for you. I've recently 44 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,080 Speaker 2: taken up a position in February of this year. It 45 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:19,239 Speaker 2: was a step up both in salary and career prospects. 46 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,720 Speaker 2: It even comes with the benefit of working from home 47 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 2: twice a week. 48 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 1: Nice. 49 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:26,800 Speaker 2: However, after starting the job, it became clear that aspects 50 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 2: for moving up in the company are slim to none. 51 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 2: People have worked here for many years and have never 52 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,919 Speaker 2: been promoted. They're stuck in the same place and now 53 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 2: just a few years from retirement, waiting for that faithful day. 54 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,960 Speaker 2: It's a retirement haven. Everyone is an elderly person, and 55 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,079 Speaker 2: my career is just starting. Not to mention, the company 56 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 2: is having a hard time hiring others. This means we're understaffed, 57 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,639 Speaker 2: which places a lot of pressure and stress on us. 58 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,639 Speaker 2: It even turned my boss into a major jerk who 59 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 2: sometimes shoots subliminal shots in her emails and in teen meetings. 60 00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 2: It's annoying, and I already know I can't stay there anymore. However, 61 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 2: I recently started to network and somehow got connected to 62 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,079 Speaker 2: a job opportunity that has turned into an offer. This 63 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 2: opportunity is with a large company with a worldwide presence. 64 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 2: The job allows me to work from home every day 65 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 2: and has similar benefits. Not to mention, this opportunity is 66 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 2: already a step up in career growth, as I'm being 67 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 2: hired into a managerial role. So here's my question. What 68 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,120 Speaker 2: should I do about my current job? How do I 69 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,480 Speaker 2: leave that job without cutting any connections off and seemingly 70 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 2: quitting on them. I worked and waited a while before 71 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,000 Speaker 2: I got that job in February, and I'm wondering what 72 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 2: should I do? Okay, b that story has a pretty 73 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 2: happy has a pretty happy end. We can take a 74 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 2: step off. You solve your owne damn problem. 75 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 1: Let's a little soul the simy for me. Come on 76 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: my mandy lil for be. 77 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 2: Okay, yes, well, not only did you you the networking piece. 78 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 2: I love that because I'm always telling people like, applying 79 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 2: for jobs is not it. Applying for jobs is all cute, 80 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 2: but the best job opportunities, especially when you're wanting to 81 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 2: advance in your career, the juiciest jobs are not on Indeed, 82 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 2: and they're not on LinkedIn. And I know it's hard 83 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 2: to hear that because it seems like the game is 84 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 2: rigged well a teeny tiny bit. There's so much competition 85 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,440 Speaker 2: now for the great candidates out there that jobs are 86 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 2: waiting before they post. Hiring managers are and recruiters are 87 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 2: waiting to post jobs because they want to do their 88 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 2: own recruiting first. They don't want to post on indeed 89 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 2: and get seventy five thousand, you know, resumes from people 90 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 2: who are not a good fit. They want to be 91 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,920 Speaker 2: meticulous and intentional with their search. So the fact that 92 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 2: you networked into a potentially new opportunity like snaps for 93 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 2: you B, that's amazing. Now, how do I love how 94 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,799 Speaker 2: she said? How do I leave a job and seemingly 95 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 2: quitting on them? 96 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 1: Seemingly quit? 97 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,960 Speaker 2: No, you're just actually quitting. 98 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,840 Speaker 1: It's okay. Yeah, quit is not a four letter word. 99 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 2: People treat quit like it's a four letter word. 100 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:57,840 Speaker 1: It is word, but I know, to me, it's not 101 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 1: a cuff, it's not it's not you know, dirty word. 102 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:06,240 Speaker 2: The level of not even wanting to admit that you quit. Listen, storytelling, 103 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 2: I feel like is so important and when it comes 104 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 2: to our careers and explaining why we are leading one 105 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,479 Speaker 2: opportunity for the next, and your story that you've told 106 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,880 Speaker 2: us is a valid reason to be looking for a 107 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 2: new opportunity. And I would, as respectfully as you can, 108 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 2: explain that to your boss, explain it to you know 109 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,719 Speaker 2: in your exit interview. What it was about this position 110 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 2: that did not quite meet the expectations that you had 111 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,600 Speaker 2: when you were hired, and you now have an opportunity 112 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:36,599 Speaker 2: that does, so why would you leave that opportunity on 113 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,480 Speaker 2: the table. Also, it seems like you have done some 114 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,679 Speaker 2: thinking around like longevity. You know, is there a chance 115 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,559 Speaker 2: that they will actually be able to meet this offer 116 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,560 Speaker 2: and give you opportunities that you can see clearly are 117 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:51,880 Speaker 2: not available to you. Probably not. So I'm just hearing, 118 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:54,720 Speaker 2: I'm hearing so many reasons for you to walk away. 119 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,840 Speaker 2: I just think you need someone to give you permission. 120 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 2: And Tiffany, I think we can give your permission. 121 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:00,920 Speaker 1: Girl, do it. 122 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:04,080 Speaker 2: Well, I do have a question magic wond I'm met 123 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 2: my magic bond. I'm going to give her permission. 124 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 1: Go ahead, give her my saying all right. So question 125 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,479 Speaker 1: for you, Mandra, do people still do the two weeks? Like? 126 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,240 Speaker 1: Should she do that? Like? Is that still a thing? 127 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:16,040 Speaker 2: It's still a thing? 128 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:16,320 Speaker 1: You know. 129 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,720 Speaker 2: What's funny is like there is nothing written in your 130 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 2: employment contract that says you have to give two weeks. 131 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,240 Speaker 2: It's called at will employment, which means that when you 132 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 2: are willing to work, you will work there until you're 133 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 2: no longer willing to work. And when they are willing 134 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:30,880 Speaker 2: to have you, they will be willing to have you 135 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,919 Speaker 2: until they're no longer willing to have you. But of course, 136 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 2: two weeks notice is one way to quit without burning 137 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 2: those bridges. And depending on the level that you're at 138 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,720 Speaker 2: in your company and whether you manage a team, or 139 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 2: how potentially irreplaceable or difficult to replace you. I think 140 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 2: everyone's replaceable, honestly, but if it would be difficult for 141 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,520 Speaker 2: them to replace you, or you are overseeing in major 142 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:55,960 Speaker 2: projects and you have a lot of responsibilities, the best 143 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 2: thing to do to ease the blow is to offer 144 00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 2: as much time as you feel comfort so that you 145 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:05,119 Speaker 2: can help with their transition. So one thousand percent offer 146 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,279 Speaker 2: to help with the transition, whether it's two weeks or 147 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,560 Speaker 2: you know, four weeks or six weeks. I've seen sometimes two. 148 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 2: But make sure you're firm, I mean, if you're not willing, 149 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 2: I will say this, A quick way to burn a 150 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 2: bridge is to quit and then give them or turn 151 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 2: in your notice, and then they'll be like, well, what 152 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 2: if we can match it, let me go work on 153 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:26,600 Speaker 2: this new offer for you, and then for you to 154 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 2: turn down their competitive offer. At that point, I think 155 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 2: feelings and emotions and grudges start to form. I think 156 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 2: you have to go into that conversation sometimes with as 157 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 2: clear a mind as possible as to whether or not 158 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 2: they even can compete. You know, is there anything they 159 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 2: could offer you that would make you stay and be 160 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 2: clear on that before you walk in. That's that's how 161 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 2: I would say, because you just don't want to drag 162 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:50,560 Speaker 2: anyone on. 163 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:55,480 Speaker 1: My scary self would be like, so I'm making you know, 164 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 1: or even though I have no intensive of taking it, 165 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 1: because I feel I would feel scared to say no, 166 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 1: it's nothing that would keep me. So that's actually really 167 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,720 Speaker 1: wise to be, like, if you know for a fact 168 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 1: that you really want to be at this other company, 169 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 1: don't let these people go through the due diligence of 170 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,960 Speaker 1: doing all this work. You know, set the boundaries. I'm 171 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: actually listening to this new book. What's not new? Because 172 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 1: this book has been exploding. Have you heard this? What 173 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 1: is it called? Let me see on my let me 174 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 1: see what my trust? Thee Audible account says it's everything 175 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: is written by a black therapist, because of course she's amazing, 176 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 1: that's the title. No, No, it's called set Boundaries Finding piece. 177 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 1: Have you heard of this book. It's by Nirdra Glover 178 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 1: to wob She's on Insta and has like a million followers. 179 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,560 Speaker 1: But she's this black therapist who's amazing, And this book 180 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 1: came out last year and it's sold already hundreds of 181 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 1: thousands of copies. She's going to sell over a million copies. 182 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:47,440 Speaker 1: I could tell. But it's just really helpful from a 183 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,520 Speaker 1: therapists perspective, obviously about how to set boundaries and what 184 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 1: it looks like. If you're like, I don't have a 185 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:55,559 Speaker 1: boundaries issue, and she's like, hmm, sounds like it, but 186 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:58,160 Speaker 1: it's really good. And I encourage you to get the 187 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 1: audible verse just because I like listening. But yeah, so 188 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,440 Speaker 1: what it sounds like Mandy's saying is like, you want 189 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 1: to set clear boundaries, so that way, as the great 190 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:11,800 Speaker 1: philosopher Wendy Williams once said, straight talk leads to straight understanding. 191 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 1: You know, like, don't get that whishy why I don't 192 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,719 Speaker 1: know that yeah, that wishy washy oh maybe kind of 193 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 1: it's like, no, no, if you don't plan on staying, then 194 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,720 Speaker 1: letting them know and that's the only great advice and 195 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 1: then you know, moving on. Since I'm really proud of you. 196 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,000 Speaker 1: You sound like the young woman who is on the move, 197 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 1: who so go ahead and be on the move. But 198 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 1: to Mandy's point, try not to burn those bridges. 199 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:36,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, and also focusing on a lesson like and carrying 200 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 2: that lesson with you into your next opportunity. The what 201 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,080 Speaker 2: you realized about this job, I would argue you might 202 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 2: have been able to ascertain during the interview process if 203 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,719 Speaker 2: you ask the right questions, and sometimes we do kind 204 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,719 Speaker 2: of talk ourselves into opportunities. It pays more just take it. 205 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,320 Speaker 2: But I'm sure that the fact that people at the 206 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,840 Speaker 2: company have been there for you know, years, decades that 207 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:59,200 Speaker 2: they're I don't want to I don't think the fact 208 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,440 Speaker 2: that people are older should necessarily be a reason to 209 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,600 Speaker 2: be turned off by it, but the fact that they 210 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,839 Speaker 2: stay there for a long time there's not much room 211 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,840 Speaker 2: for advancement, and that there may be a short staffing. 212 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 2: I think you can definitely ask questions that will give 213 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:14,080 Speaker 2: you those types of answers in your interview. So I 214 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,640 Speaker 2: think it's a really good reminder of the importance of 215 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,920 Speaker 2: being particular about the types of questions you asked during 216 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 2: the interview process, so that you really do know what 217 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,560 Speaker 2: you're getting yourself into and you are gently not allowing 218 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 2: them to put rose colored glasses on or lipstick on 219 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 2: a pig, whatever the expression is of your choice, and 220 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 2: hopefully you've done the same for this new opportunity. It 221 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 2: sounds awesome and you know it's everything that they're not 222 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 2: giving you. But what questions can you ask? Just so 223 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:41,880 Speaker 2: you don't end up being in the same position again? 224 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: But you learn is sis you've grown you learning. 225 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 2: M Well, good luck, I've quit jobs two weeks after joining. 226 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:52,600 Speaker 2: So you talk into a prop not a single bridge burned, 227 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:56,480 Speaker 2: not a single one. All right, Well, let's take a 228 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 2: quick break and be right back with another question. This 229 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 2: is the ba. 230 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 1: And we're black with the ba QA with another question. 231 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:12,040 Speaker 1: I see the name as anonymous, honestly, but actually I 232 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 1: see a name in here that she basically calls herself 233 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,680 Speaker 1: her Oprah. So we're gonna call you Oprah girl. Mana's 234 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:19,480 Speaker 1: gonna read and we're gonna just call her Oprah. 235 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:23,240 Speaker 2: Go ahead, Mandy, all right, hey, Mandra, and Tiffany. I 236 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,880 Speaker 2: am a black queer postpartum professional. 237 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:30,360 Speaker 1: What does that mean? Does she work with or people 238 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 1: who have had babies? Or I wasn't sure she just 239 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:35,600 Speaker 1: had a baby, and that's what I thought. She had 240 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,080 Speaker 1: just had a baby. But yeah, I'm not sure. 241 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 2: Let me keep reading. I'm intrigued. I'm a black, queer 242 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 2: postpartum professional. My work used to fire me up. I 243 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,200 Speaker 2: would stay up late teaching myself new skills, and the 244 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 2: challenges gave me focus. In my professional circle, I was 245 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:53,440 Speaker 2: constantly mentoring younger entrants to the field. Folks often noted 246 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,680 Speaker 2: my oprah, and the praises felt so damn validating. My 247 00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:00,920 Speaker 2: career just seemed to flow. That fire is so stifled lately. 248 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,600 Speaker 2: I still feel effective, but my oprah is hardly apparent, 249 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 2: and I'm scared because I don't know how to scale back. 250 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:10,679 Speaker 2: I tried cutting expenses, reducing hours at work, and taking 251 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:14,440 Speaker 2: more vacation days, but I'm just completely blown. My mental 252 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:18,040 Speaker 2: and emotional reserves are done sis. I need a deep 253 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:22,199 Speaker 2: recovery from secondary trauma exposure. How does someone work less 254 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 2: and still write all those bill checks? Have you experienced 255 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 2: a season where you still felt deeply rooted in purpose, 256 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 2: but your personal and individual devotion was just let me 257 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 2: pronounce this correctly tired brown heart Oprah anonymous Oprah. 258 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,720 Speaker 1: So, First, when did you pays real quick, Like, I 259 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,560 Speaker 1: think that she's calling herself Oprah. Because I have this 260 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,440 Speaker 1: thing that I do with my mentees light Plug. You 261 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,720 Speaker 1: would be my mentor, my minte. You can go to 262 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 1: my mentor tipnique dot com. I'll be mentoring, especially women 263 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 1: in business and entrepreneurship. It's ten bucks a month tile. 264 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 1: So I have this thing that we talk about all 265 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:00,720 Speaker 1: the time with my mentees called to illustrate your Oprah. 266 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 1: That means just illustrate your value in a way that's 267 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 1: so undeniable you cannot be denied, you know. So for example, 268 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,200 Speaker 1: when I first used to start speaking, and people wouldn't 269 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,200 Speaker 1: pay me, and they're like, oh, we don't have the budget, 270 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,000 Speaker 1: and so at first I believe that, and then I 271 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,720 Speaker 1: would see them paying other people and I'm like, oh, 272 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,320 Speaker 1: you just don't want to pay me, And I could 273 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:20,680 Speaker 1: get mad, or I could say that's because you have 274 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:23,200 Speaker 1: not illustrated your Oprah. Because I bet you if you 275 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,719 Speaker 1: were Oprah, they pay you. And it's true, of course 276 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 1: they would pay the three hundred, five hundred and five 277 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,360 Speaker 1: thousand dollars if I was Oprah. So I started this phrase, 278 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,959 Speaker 1: illustrate your Oprah, bring your undeniable value to the table, 279 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,360 Speaker 1: and you know, then people will find the funds. So 280 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,120 Speaker 1: I think that I just wanted to just put that 281 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:44,560 Speaker 1: out there. So it sounds like a postpartum so she 282 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 1: said secondhand trauma. So maybe she's helping people with postpartum 283 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:50,439 Speaker 1: and that's why she's experiencing the second hand trauma. 284 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 2: Ex coach me se, Yeah, she says, secondhand trauma. That 285 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,080 Speaker 2: could very well be. You know what this sounds like 286 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:01,320 Speaker 2: to me is when you are so nervis driven as 287 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,520 Speaker 2: a professional, and I see this happen with so many 288 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:07,000 Speaker 2: of my coaching clients. You give so much away and 289 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 2: you have all the energy you need in the early 290 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:13,080 Speaker 2: parts of your career, and eventually you get worn down 291 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,440 Speaker 2: and eventually you break and you you can't do it 292 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,680 Speaker 2: anymore because the pace that you were working at originally 293 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 2: was never sustainable, Like you were never going to be 294 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,680 Speaker 2: able to hold that up. And it does feel good, 295 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 2: and I have I have been there in my career 296 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:31,880 Speaker 2: for sure, where you know, I have this like breaking moment. 297 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:35,440 Speaker 2: I had this this breakdown, you know, halfway into my 298 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:39,080 Speaker 2: into my new job as a senior content director or 299 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,000 Speaker 2: I was managing a team and building it from scratch, 300 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 2: walk into my off I think I've told the story before. 301 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,480 Speaker 2: I walked into my boss's office, you know, and close 302 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 2: to tears, like I can't do it anymore because I 303 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,080 Speaker 2: had been doing the work of like five people or 304 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,760 Speaker 2: more for two years, just trying to make it work, 305 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,120 Speaker 2: thinking I had to do it alone, and it felt 306 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 2: really good the first year. By year too, I was 307 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,000 Speaker 2: ready to quit. I wanted to cry my boss's office. 308 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 2: I just hadn't figured out how to ask for the 309 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 2: help that I needed. And I think that that is 310 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,080 Speaker 2: a it's a really important skill to learn early in 311 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 2: our careers so that you don't end up getting yourself 312 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,640 Speaker 2: to that breaking point, and that you recognize we can't 313 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:18,840 Speaker 2: let ourselves to. Your point about boundaries being being open 314 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:23,160 Speaker 2: to setting boundaries before they're needed. Yes, you know that's 315 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 2: hard because everything feels fine, you feel great. 316 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: Oh, I'm making it work. 317 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:28,400 Speaker 2: You don't need a boundary. 318 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:31,360 Speaker 1: You will do it for your future self. Yep, your future. 319 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,000 Speaker 2: What's a if the Oprah is your best self. I 320 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:35,720 Speaker 2: don't know what the opposite of Oprah is. 321 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:39,240 Speaker 1: But well, my Wanda is my old my future old 322 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:40,160 Speaker 1: Lady Southwanda. 323 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, we for a do it for your future, old 324 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:46,800 Speaker 2: lady's self. But yeah, I mean, unfortunately that seems to 325 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 2: be what happened. Now, how can you scale back and 326 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:53,040 Speaker 2: find that re you know, find that energy again? This 327 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,920 Speaker 2: is when and the point of burnout for you is 328 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 2: so deep. A vacation ain't going to do it. Yeah, 329 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 2: you know, you're gonna come back in a few days 330 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,280 Speaker 2: and just the same problems, the same lack of boundaries 331 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,280 Speaker 2: are going to be waiting for you. It has to 332 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,120 Speaker 2: go deeper than that, if it's such, if it's so 333 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,160 Speaker 2: tough for you, one thing that you could look into 334 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,360 Speaker 2: is taking a mental health leave of absence. If you 335 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 2: work for a company and your employer offers leaves of absences, 336 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,880 Speaker 2: you can actually get a note from a medical professional. 337 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 2: It can be your primary care physician or a therapist 338 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,400 Speaker 2: saying that you are unable to work due to mental 339 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,960 Speaker 2: health strain or whatever their language is. I've seen clients 340 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,760 Speaker 2: do that, and sometimes you may get paid for it. 341 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 2: You may have to take short term disability, which is 342 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 2: a cut and pay could be like sixty percent. You 343 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,160 Speaker 2: work with postpardon people, so you know, when we give birth, 344 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,320 Speaker 2: typically we're only getting paid sixty percent because we're suddenly 345 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:47,520 Speaker 2: disabled anyway, another conversation another day. But taking a mental 346 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 2: health leave of absence, if you can get some sort 347 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,600 Speaker 2: of pay, can help with that, and hopefully that will 348 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:55,280 Speaker 2: give you the time you need to recharge. But think 349 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:59,120 Speaker 2: about I love my friend Marisa. She always says that 350 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,320 Speaker 2: sometimes we give too much to people who really are 351 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:06,439 Speaker 2: not asking for that much, you know, and starting to 352 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:11,640 Speaker 2: practice doing less because we can, and not overachieving every day. 353 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:17,560 Speaker 2: Everything does not require one, Like, some things can be 354 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,960 Speaker 2: just okay. Marisa, what does she say? She's like, she 355 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:26,560 Speaker 2: was like, delight them with the bare minimum. Sometimes they 356 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,679 Speaker 2: can be delighted with the bare minimum. This is when 357 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,680 Speaker 2: I was doing my consulting project, my early consulting days, 358 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,840 Speaker 2: and she's like, listen, beabe, these power points, these decks 359 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:36,560 Speaker 2: that you're making yourself do. Did they ask for it? 360 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,639 Speaker 2: I know, but I want to impress them, No, delight 361 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,399 Speaker 2: them with the bare minimum. I got to ask her 362 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,159 Speaker 2: for the exact quote, but yeah, it's too many of 363 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:45,960 Speaker 2: us giving one hundred and ten and that ten percent 364 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:50,119 Speaker 2: adds up, girl, mm hmm and adds up. 365 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,720 Speaker 1: And where is you down? I'll add to this, like 366 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:58,200 Speaker 1: especially the part about have I experienced a season when 367 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,960 Speaker 1: you know, I'm still rooted in purpose, but yeah, just 368 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 1: now I'm in that season now. After Jirell passed away, 369 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:09,520 Speaker 1: I was like, I can't I can't do it. I 370 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 1: cannot go back to that Tiffany, who was always on, 371 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:17,120 Speaker 1: always gave one hundred and ten percent. I physically cannot 372 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,679 Speaker 1: do I don't have it in me. And so it 373 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 1: forced my hand to reimagine what life looked like because 374 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:30,040 Speaker 1: I had told myself that less equaled lazy, and that's 375 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 1: not true that like, oh, girl, if you could be working, 376 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,280 Speaker 1: like what you doing sitting on the couch, what are 377 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,080 Speaker 1: you doing relaxing? You took a walk? Why girl? Because 378 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,920 Speaker 1: you know you could do this? Is this And I'm 379 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 1: still struggling with it with it because certainly there are 380 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:45,880 Speaker 1: days who where I'm just like, oh, maybe I shouldn't. 381 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,639 Speaker 1: I'm like like, so, for example, like my Patreon, right, 382 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,400 Speaker 1: I was like, ooh, my aim was a thousand people 383 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 1: by the end of the year. We got a thousand 384 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,160 Speaker 1: people within twenty four hours of it launching. So then 385 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,160 Speaker 1: I was like, well, old Tiffany was like, well, then 386 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 1: five thousand by the end of the year, and I'm 387 00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:02,600 Speaker 1: like sis, you set a thousand by the end of 388 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,320 Speaker 1: the year because you wanted to make at least one 389 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,760 Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars after they're eight percent feet or whatever 390 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,960 Speaker 1: they take. Because you wanted to fund Molly Moore your 391 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:15,200 Speaker 1: children's book project, which is, you know, a passion project, 392 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 1: and you want to fund it, not out of pocket. 393 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,840 Speaker 1: You wanted to make just enough to fund it, not 394 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:20,840 Speaker 1: to stress yourself out. And now you don't put this 395 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 1: new If I could do five thousand people the death thousand, no, no, no, no, 396 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,040 Speaker 1: I had to really dive back and say, you got 397 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,080 Speaker 1: your thousand. Now we're at like fifteen hundred, but we're 398 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:32,840 Speaker 1: growing really slowly, and I have to constantly check myself 399 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:37,560 Speaker 1: not to overachieve it. It's like, you're fine, you made 400 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 1: enough for the initial goal. You don't. Actually, less is 401 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,760 Speaker 1: not lazy. You can sit down. So something that has 402 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,159 Speaker 1: helped me you asked a question of how do you 403 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,560 Speaker 1: do less while getting these checks, is that it sounds 404 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,119 Speaker 1: like you've already illustrated your open Now what I do 405 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 1: is and I'm very adamant about getting my money, Tiffany, 406 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,360 Speaker 1: before you know, so, my keynote was fifty thousand dollars 407 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,680 Speaker 1: but it's been fifty thousands since like last year, maybe 408 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 1: the year before. Wasn't nobody really paying, you know, you 409 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,919 Speaker 1: just be putting that up there, like fifty. Oh you 410 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:08,119 Speaker 1: want to do twenty? Okay, okay, cause you're like twenty 411 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:12,560 Speaker 1: is good money now, No, no, it's fifty. I had 412 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,200 Speaker 1: a big brand come to the other day. They were like, ooh, 413 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:15,880 Speaker 1: we don't have the budget. I was like, oh, well, 414 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,240 Speaker 1: I wish you well on your search for someone who's 415 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,720 Speaker 1: not fifty because I'm fifty. Oh well, can you know 416 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 1: now maybe they said forty five, maybe I'd be like, eh, 417 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,760 Speaker 1: but it's fifty. And they were like, oh, I don't know. Okay, 418 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,360 Speaker 1: we'll call me when you got it. Because guess what 419 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,119 Speaker 1: the brand before that, and the brand before that, and 420 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:33,520 Speaker 1: the brand before that and a brander because I have 421 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,639 Speaker 1: been illustrating my open for fifteen years, it's fifty. And 422 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,119 Speaker 1: so they came back the next day and said we 423 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 1: found it. And I could tell they wanted me to 424 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 1: be excited. I wasn't because it was fifty. Because if 425 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 1: you didn't pay the fifty, guess what the next one 426 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,600 Speaker 1: was gonna cis you better lock in that date with 427 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,320 Speaker 1: a contract. And they did. And guess what, Because I 428 00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:53,359 Speaker 1: had five brands in a row, say fifty, with relatively 429 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:57,720 Speaker 1: little pushback, I said, fifty is too low. I'm sixty 430 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,399 Speaker 1: five now. Yeah. Just on Friday, I was like, girl, 431 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,000 Speaker 1: five brands in a row, fifty, this at fifty two? Quick, 432 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 1: I had that one sounds about right, well, I put, 433 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,439 Speaker 1: I put that sixty five. I said, let's see. And 434 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:10,800 Speaker 1: then I was like, you know, like, once I get 435 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,399 Speaker 1: two or three people at sixty five, by the end 436 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 1: of the year, I likely will be at seventy five. 437 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,199 Speaker 1: Four a keynote, I got a. 438 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,520 Speaker 2: Good gut for randomly choosing numbers for things. 439 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I do. I love a good guy. Yeah I do. 440 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,560 Speaker 1: I do. Were I'm like, I don't know it, Uh 441 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,679 Speaker 1: make it thirty. So I just say all that just 442 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:26,920 Speaker 1: said it sounds like, so I don't know where you work, 443 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,800 Speaker 1: maybe you need to lean in and ask for a 444 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:32,840 Speaker 1: raise for the current work that you're already doing. To 445 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:34,639 Speaker 1: Mandy's point, So one of the things I'm learning in 446 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:38,919 Speaker 1: the Boundaries book that's really good is delegation. You know, like, 447 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 1: to Mandy's point, are you are you giving more than 448 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,960 Speaker 1: what people are asking? She talks about that doctor doctor 449 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 1: Nidre talks about that are you delegating and something that's 450 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 1: really important that I fall victim to. Are you holding 451 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 1: yourself hostage to the old you like and to say like, oh, 452 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,040 Speaker 1: because I said that nineteen eighty five that I will 453 00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,119 Speaker 1: do all the email I have to do for the 454 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,399 Speaker 1: rest of my life. And she's like, at any moment 455 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,240 Speaker 1: in time, you can create a new boundary and say 456 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,639 Speaker 1: y'all need to get on board. Don't think just because 457 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,760 Speaker 1: you used to do the job in this way, you 458 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,840 Speaker 1: know that in a way that is not healthy for 459 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,520 Speaker 1: you or safe for you, that you cannot introduce a 460 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 1: new boundary and get people on board. So just know 461 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,119 Speaker 1: that you can pop up with a new boundary for 462 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,320 Speaker 1: your own health and safety. And you ought to so 463 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:26,920 Speaker 1: get more, ask for more, create boundaries delegating and honestly 464 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:28,480 Speaker 1: like I don't, they don't. It's not any money in 465 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,440 Speaker 1: it for us. We should put this link, this link, 466 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,080 Speaker 1: like the the Boundaries book, Like I don't, you know, 467 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,400 Speaker 1: I don't know her personally, I follow her on Insta, 468 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,840 Speaker 1: but set Boundaries fine. Piece. I just think it's just 469 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:41,120 Speaker 1: a really great resource and tool from a black therapist 470 00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:43,160 Speaker 1: who if you even if you don't get her book. 471 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:46,040 Speaker 1: Her insta is really great for really leaning into like 472 00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:50,800 Speaker 1: creating boundaries so you can have a safe, effective, fruitful 473 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:54,320 Speaker 1: and joyful experience in life. And so like I just 474 00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 1: suggest that for you as well. 475 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:57,879 Speaker 2: I love that. Yeah, we'll definitely put that in the 476 00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,520 Speaker 2: show notes and creating those boundaries when you have the 477 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:02,880 Speaker 2: energy to create them, because it takes energy to put 478 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,360 Speaker 2: those in place and get people acclimated. So that's why 479 00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:07,040 Speaker 2: it's so important to do it before you need it, 480 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:10,399 Speaker 2: like the emergency fund for your brain. Right. But one 481 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,080 Speaker 2: last thing, one last thing I wanted to note here 482 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:14,960 Speaker 2: is as well, as I'm reading her and I'm thinking 483 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,000 Speaker 2: about her very much, so if I'm imagining her job, 484 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:22,840 Speaker 2: which is working with working with new mother's postpartum, if 485 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,640 Speaker 2: she's working for an employer right now and not for herself, 486 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,359 Speaker 2: I really wonder if working for yourself may not be 487 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:33,680 Speaker 2: another potential solution creating your own business, dedicating, deciding your 488 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:38,200 Speaker 2: own hours, charging prices that are you know that makes 489 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:42,080 Speaker 2: sense for the for the mental toll of what you're 490 00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,359 Speaker 2: going through, and the fact that you need to charge 491 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,359 Speaker 2: higher prices so that you can take fewer clients so 492 00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:50,159 Speaker 2: that you can show up one hundred percent for the 493 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,879 Speaker 2: clients you have because they are relying on you. You know, 494 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 2: I would have. I don't even know what kind of 495 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,360 Speaker 2: particular work you do, but I know that your clients 496 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,040 Speaker 2: must use you as such a vessel for them and 497 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,560 Speaker 2: such a you know, support for them, so for you 498 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:04,840 Speaker 2: to be able to show up for them in the 499 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:08,160 Speaker 2: best way possible. You can't have one thousand clients each 500 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,080 Speaker 2: charging a low fee. Maybe it's about having one hundred 501 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:14,240 Speaker 2: clients charging a higher fee and protecting your piece in 502 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,480 Speaker 2: that way. And I'm not obviously saying that everyone should 503 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:18,919 Speaker 2: just go out and start a business to solve all 504 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,080 Speaker 2: their problems. Obviously it has so many more challenges. 505 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,520 Speaker 1: But I feel. 506 00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:28,119 Speaker 2: Like in your potential, in your industry, with your skill set, 507 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,480 Speaker 2: you could bring in and you did ask the question 508 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:31,760 Speaker 2: of how do you do it? How do you step 509 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 2: away but still bring an income? I had thought about 510 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,440 Speaker 2: that with my business as well. I mean, Tiffany, you're 511 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,040 Speaker 2: like the og of creating an online education platform, a 512 00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,240 Speaker 2: digital product that you don't have to show up and 513 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,600 Speaker 2: necessarily teach every single day. You can record it and 514 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 2: it can be available, you know, on and on down 515 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,400 Speaker 2: the road. And you know, for you, is there anything 516 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,840 Speaker 2: about your teachings and learnings that you could create a 517 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,600 Speaker 2: digital product and then sell that to create passive income? 518 00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,600 Speaker 2: You know, is there a course that you could create? 519 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,840 Speaker 2: Is there you know a oh maybe not even a 520 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:06,560 Speaker 2: course that's too overwhelming. What about one thirty minute you know, 521 00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,600 Speaker 2: or forty five minute recap of everything that you've learned 522 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,720 Speaker 2: in your profession that has helped make a meaningful impact 523 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,679 Speaker 2: to the success of a new mom or something like 524 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:19,440 Speaker 2: that package it sell it have an income stream. 525 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,879 Speaker 1: Well, I'll say this and be mindful that go ahead, 526 00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:26,560 Speaker 1: especially with reoccurring income, no matter how dope you are, 527 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 1: there's something called churn, which can be also very stressful. 528 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,679 Speaker 1: So just be mindful of anybody who's thinking about this. 529 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,719 Speaker 1: So for example, even with my Mentortiffany dot com, right, 530 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,760 Speaker 1: that's people signed up fifteen hundred people we have currently 531 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,919 Speaker 1: now fifteen maybe something already for the month, somebody might 532 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:44,560 Speaker 1: come in and say, ah, churn is when people leave monthly. 533 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,160 Speaker 1: And sometimes oftentimes churn is because their credit card didn't 534 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,800 Speaker 1: go through Debork card didn't go through. Sometimes people for 535 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:53,240 Speaker 1: example at my mentor Tiffany people confuse it with me 536 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,359 Speaker 1: being the budgetista. We don't talk about financial education there. 537 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 1: So sometimes people will come and be like, oh, we 538 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,320 Speaker 1: don't talk about money here, just business. Let me go 539 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,560 Speaker 1: over to the literature academy to join that. So they'll leave. 540 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,400 Speaker 1: So that's churn, and that means you have to if 541 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,879 Speaker 1: you want to maintain your salary or whatever, you have 542 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:14,040 Speaker 1: to continuously add folks, and that can be very stressful. 543 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:17,440 Speaker 1: So just be mindful that if I was starting out, 544 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,880 Speaker 1: I don't know, like if it was me, instead of 545 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:25,120 Speaker 1: trying to get individual people purchasing whatever, I would instead 546 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,919 Speaker 1: look to get companies, like the same companies that I 547 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,600 Speaker 1: was working for, let them hire me as a contractor, 548 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:36,200 Speaker 1: because that is a less stressful introduction into that kind 549 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:41,520 Speaker 1: of business. Because in so doing, like getting individuual people 550 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,960 Speaker 1: signed up and continue to pay, it's a lot. That's 551 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:49,360 Speaker 1: that's that's like level five. So for level one, it's 552 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,560 Speaker 1: being yourself for those same types of companies and those 553 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,520 Speaker 1: companies pay you. That's a good level one to start with. 554 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,960 Speaker 1: So just keep that in mind. But all in all, 555 00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:01,760 Speaker 1: ask for more money, create boundaries. Ask yourself, what is 556 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,919 Speaker 1: it that you're really wanting to do and start to 557 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:08,920 Speaker 1: make that pivot to it, like what are your core values? Security, adventure, joy, 558 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:12,080 Speaker 1: and really start to redesign life around those core values. 559 00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:14,920 Speaker 1: And if that means leaving this profession down the line, 560 00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,199 Speaker 1: maybe so. But you know, you only really have one 561 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,720 Speaker 1: life as far as I know, and so I much 562 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:23,600 Speaker 1: rather you start to make those pivots now and not 563 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,920 Speaker 1: wait for some major life changing event like I had 564 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,960 Speaker 1: to to make the huge pivots because now Sis is living. 565 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 1: I take my walks every day. I did my jump 566 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,760 Speaker 1: rope today. Thank y'all for the jump rope videos. Like 567 00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:38,399 Speaker 1: I work minimally, you know, relatively speaking. Everybody got to 568 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,440 Speaker 1: pay that price because I'm not doing free speaking engagements 569 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,080 Speaker 1: for the price of one. And so because I've set 570 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:46,600 Speaker 1: that boundary and I put the work in which sounds 571 00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:49,480 Speaker 1: like you've done illustrating your opera, now I can say 572 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,800 Speaker 1: I can do less, and do I make less a 573 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:55,120 Speaker 1: little bit for now. But I'm seeing as i'm readjusting 574 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,480 Speaker 1: that I'm finding people who are willing to pay me more, 575 00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:59,680 Speaker 1: and so by this time next year I will have 576 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,159 Speaker 1: proper probably have made the same as I would have 577 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:03,960 Speaker 1: with the busy, busy busy life with a way less 578 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,800 Speaker 1: busy life, So you know that drop might might mean 579 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:08,600 Speaker 1: that you have to like drop some of your expenses 580 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,600 Speaker 1: temporarily until you can get back there. That's normal as well, 581 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,440 Speaker 1: So we wish you luck. 582 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:19,040 Speaker 2: Oh prevent increasing inflation everything more expensive. I completely empathize 583 00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:21,240 Speaker 2: with feeling of I know something is wrong, but I 584 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,160 Speaker 2: don't know how to keep the life that I have 585 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,359 Speaker 2: and fix it at the same time. So think about, 586 00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 2: like Tiffany said, how can you start those boundaries now? 587 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,240 Speaker 2: And how if any of you know, how can you 588 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,000 Speaker 2: monetize potentially some skills that you have that won't require 589 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,800 Speaker 2: you to show up and could that be an additional 590 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,440 Speaker 2: source of income so that you can take some take 591 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:45,120 Speaker 2: some time and think too about potentially the leave of absence. 592 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:48,640 Speaker 2: You know, sometimes we need like to call nine one 593 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 2: one for our damn selves. And I've definitely had clients 594 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 2: from like I need to call nine one, you need 595 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:59,000 Speaker 2: out like it's becoming an emergency. And I hope that 596 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,640 Speaker 2: you're well, what do we decide to call her? 597 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:02,160 Speaker 1: Anonymous? 598 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,880 Speaker 2: Oprah? Oprah hope that you're taking care of yourself like 599 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,600 Speaker 2: you have for the moms and the and your work 600 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:09,280 Speaker 2: and thank you for the work that you're doing. I 601 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:11,840 Speaker 2: hope this was helpful. As a reminder, you guys hit 602 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,480 Speaker 2: us up branhambisionpodcast dot com with your questions. You can 603 00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,040 Speaker 2: also shoot us a DM. We are at Brand Ambition 604 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:21,920 Speaker 2: Podcast on ig until next week. This was ba qa 605 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,160 Speaker 2: hey ba fan. We could not do this show without 606 00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,200 Speaker 2: your support or the support of our team behind the scenes. 607 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:32,120 Speaker 2: The Brown Ambision podcast is produced by Cumulus Podcast Network. 608 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:33,240 Speaker 1: It's edited by. 609 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:37,960 Speaker 2: The wonderful Emani Crosby and produced by Tanya Bustos. Dennistimplinsky 610 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,760 Speaker 2: is our in house tech guru and I am Bandy 611 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:43,840 Speaker 2: Woodrid Santos your co host, and I will see y'all 612 00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:44,520 Speaker 2: next week.