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Speaker 1: Hello, what's up? How's life? Thanks for being here. It's

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Speaker 1: Lyle Gecko Man. Welcome to the Therapy Gecko Podcast. I

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Speaker 1: normally take phone calls on this show with random, anonymous people,

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Speaker 1: but today, as I did a few days ago, I

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Speaker 1: will be reading viewer mail and pondering it. I'm glad

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Speaker 1: for those of you who listened to the episode with

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Speaker 1: my sister and left positive comments. Thank you, guys. I

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Speaker 1: appreciate it. She appreciated it, she had fun. And now

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Speaker 1: I'm here alone. I think I'd like to do more

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Speaker 1: of these things with other people. I might just do

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Speaker 1: them more with other people randomly in my life. You know,

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Speaker 1: there is a period of time where we had like

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Speaker 1: rappers on here and stuff like that, and I'm open

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Speaker 1: to that. But I'm also just like, you know, it

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Speaker 1: could be anyone, you know what I mean, Like some

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Speaker 1: guy from off the street wants to pe a guest

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Speaker 1: on the show and it's just me and him reading emails.

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Speaker 1: That could be good too. I don't know why guests

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Speaker 1: always have to be celebrities. Can't they just be this

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Speaker 1: whoever is walking around? That's kind of what the show is.

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Speaker 1: It's me and a guest, but the guest is kind

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Speaker 1: of whoever is walking around. Anyway, I'm gonna read some

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Speaker 1: viewer mail and talk to you guys, and hopefully it's

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Speaker 1: substantiative for the time that you're listening. Listening to it,

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Speaker 1: my voice just cracked. I'm gonna try to I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: do a lot more pondering than advice giving. I've been

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Speaker 1: giving a lot of advice, and I don't like it.

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Speaker 1: Every time I give advice, it's against my will. They're

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Speaker 1: actually not every time. Sometimes I give advice because I

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Speaker 1: genuinely believe in it. But there's been plenty times I

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Speaker 1: give advice because I'm like, I just have to say something,

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Speaker 1: and I hate that. I want to do that. So

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Speaker 1: if I from now on, if I'm reading, okay, so

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Speaker 1: throughout the time I'm reading these emails, if I'm prompted

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Speaker 1: to give advice, I'll do it. But if I fucking

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Speaker 1: don't know, I'm just gonna say I don't know. And

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Speaker 1: that's how I like to do it, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. I like to ponder the emails. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if I have an answer for things, but I

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Speaker 1: like pondering things. So I'm in the dark. I just

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Speaker 1: had some coffee. The vibe ants is kicking in. Let's

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Speaker 1: read some emails. Okay, this first one is from Jackson,

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Speaker 1: subject line, I think my coworker is watching me. Hey GEK,

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Speaker 1: longtime listener, first time mailer. I think my coworker is

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Speaker 1: watching me. I recently started working for a cannabis wholesale

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Speaker 1: distribution center in Oregon and it's been an absolute blast.

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Speaker 1: While I was listening to one of your older episodes,

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Speaker 1: an another Sophie Cunningham ad came on, so I was

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Speaker 1: skipping the ad when one of my coworkers wrote in

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Speaker 1: our slack chat, he's on his phone, followed by he

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Speaker 1: put it down. What the fuck? I was confused, of course,

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Speaker 1: and I immediately called it out and they were very

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Speaker 1: embarrassed after they realized their mistake. I know they were

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Speaker 1: talking about me because their desk is diagonal to mine,

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Speaker 1: and I was the only male presenting person in that moment,

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Speaker 1: which means someone higher up told her to watch me,

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Speaker 1: or she wanted to watch me on her own volition,

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Speaker 1: and I don't know what's worse. I talked to my

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Speaker 1: manager and when I asked, they said to not worry

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Speaker 1: about it, and that the coworker was talked to already. However,

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Speaker 1: I still feel like I keep spotting them watching my

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Speaker 1: moves when I'm just skipping ads or trying to select

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Speaker 1: an old episode to listen to. I really like this

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Speaker 1: job and don't want to be confrontational and call a

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Speaker 1: scene about something that could have been dealt with already?

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Speaker 1: Am I being paranoid? Should I be worried? Is it

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Speaker 1: chill now? PS? Please come back to Portland when you

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Speaker 1: tour again. I will be coming to Portland in June. Okay? Anyway, um, wow,

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Speaker 1: that's crazy. No, I think you should ask her. I

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Speaker 1: think you should ask her. Like, here's the weird thing, right,

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Speaker 1: is like this job sounds fucking what. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: What do you do? You work? No? Yeah, you work

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Speaker 1: for a cannabis wholesale Okay, all right, you said it's

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Speaker 1: been a blast. Okay, So if you're saying it's been

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Speaker 1: a blast, that means that this is a good job

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Speaker 1: and things are cool. I don't think it's being confrontational

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Speaker 1: to be like, yo, are you listening to my fucking phone?

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Speaker 1: Like stop watching me? You know, And you don't have

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Speaker 1: to even be like that, And it doesn't even have

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Speaker 1: to be like a confrontational like what the fuck are

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Speaker 1: you doing? But you got to go in there and

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Speaker 1: find the information. You got to go in and be like, yo,

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Speaker 1: are you watching me? And if they say no, then

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Speaker 1: say are you sure you can tell me if you are?

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Speaker 1: And then maybe they say okay, I am, and then

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Speaker 1: you go, okay, I need you to stop doing that

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Speaker 1: or tell your manager or whatever, because if it truly

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Speaker 1: is like a chill work environment or like an absolute blast,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like it wouldn't be that big of

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Speaker 1: a deal to not confront but perhaps inquire as to

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Speaker 1: why this person is watching you. Maybe she likes you,

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Speaker 1: Maybe she has a crush on you. That could be

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Speaker 1: it too. Maybe she's in love with you, Jackson. Maybe

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Speaker 1: she's admiring you. Maybe she's writing letters. Maybe she's thinking

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Speaker 1: about you. That could be it too, and which you

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Speaker 1: would want to know because maybe you maybe you love

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Speaker 1: her too, and you guys can get married and have

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Speaker 1: a baby. Okay. This is from Sour Candy, subject line

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Speaker 1: fell in love with a red bearded colonizer, Send help,

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Speaker 1: Dear therapy, Gecko. I fell in love with a foreigner

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Speaker 1: in my own country. Parentheses, I'm Asian like full on,

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Speaker 1: aggressively handsome white man red beard Scottish accent. He works here,

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Speaker 1: lives here, somehow made my dusty ass city feel like

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Speaker 1: the set of a slow indie romance. We dated, then didn't,

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Speaker 1: then did, then didn't again. We had dumb little rituals

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Speaker 1: inside jokes about orcas, fun facts pasted like love notes.

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Speaker 1: We roasted modern art and acted like we weren't two

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Speaker 1: nerds falling in love in public. He made coffee on

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Speaker 1: Sunday mornings like it was a sacrament. This is beautiful.

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Speaker 1: He also introduced me to your YouTube channel, said you'd

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Speaker 1: like therapy, getto and I did. Of course I did.

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Speaker 1: He knew me like that. So if the algorithm is

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Speaker 1: doing its thing, and by some chance he's watching this, Elle,

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Speaker 1: I know you watch this lizard man during dinner. If

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Speaker 1: you see this, Hi, I love you and I'll probably

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Speaker 1: always miss you. What happened here? Okay, I'm investing in this,

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Speaker 1: so I want to keep reading anyways. But also I

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Speaker 1: cried like a lot, sometimes at him, sometimes next to him.

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Speaker 1: I was the I need reassurance or I will perish girly.

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Speaker 1: He was the I love you, but i'm emotionally congested guy.

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Speaker 1: I spiraled, he vanished, rinse, repeat, and yet we kept trying.

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Speaker 1: We told ourselves it could work if we just tried

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Speaker 1: hard enough. We tried and it didn't. He said he'd

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Speaker 1: give one hundred percent, and I believed him. God, I

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Speaker 1: wanted to, and for like five business days it felt

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Speaker 1: real white business days whatever. But trying and being able

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Speaker 1: to are two different flavors of heartbreak. So now I'm

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Speaker 1: here eating sad noodles, writing to a man in a

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Speaker 1: lizard costume because there's nowhere for all this leftover love

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Speaker 1: to go. It's like emotional tupperware with no lid. Do

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Speaker 1: I want him back? Do I just want the best

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Speaker 1: version of us? Do I need a lobotomy? Who knows anyway?

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Speaker 1: Send help or a lizard emoji? I'll take either yours

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Speaker 1: and cringe and healing g interesting. Whoo ah man, They're

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Speaker 1: always there, really is. That's one of the toughest things

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Speaker 1: about love and relationships is that two people can be

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Speaker 1: so in love with each other and yet the logistics

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Speaker 1: of the universe just don't work out. I was talking

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Speaker 1: to someone about this because I met someone who was like,

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Speaker 1: I think that it's I met someone who was like,

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Speaker 1: I think the only reason a relationship doesn't work is

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Speaker 1: because two people don't love each other enough. And I

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Speaker 1: don't believe that. She was like, if you love each

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Speaker 1: other enough, you will make it work. And I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm really fucking just searching for the answers to those

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Speaker 1: questions myself. You know. It's like that, like love is

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Speaker 1: a choice, kind of a vibe, you know, And she

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Speaker 1: might be right in some cases, but everyone has their

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Speaker 1: own philosophy of it. The problem is you only get

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Speaker 1: fifty percent of the choice. I do believe that, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: people can be in love, but whatever, like external things

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Speaker 1: surrounding them, which don't even have to be things outside

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Speaker 1: of themselves. It could just be your personalities are incongruent

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Speaker 1: with each other and that just fucks everything up. That's

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Speaker 1: very possible. Okay. This next one is from Sam, subject line,

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Speaker 1: why do I drink so much Celsius? I love Celsius

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Speaker 1: so much it is affecting my life. Let me explain.

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Speaker 1: I have dealt with social anxiety my whole life, to

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Speaker 1: the point where I was basically mute in high school.

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Speaker 1: Since then, I cut back on caffeine and it seems

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Speaker 1: to help things substantially interesting. Maybe I should do that.

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Speaker 1: I'm twenty six now and my social life is pretty good.

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Speaker 1: But then I tried the Peach Vibe Celsius, and I've

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Speaker 1: been drinking one every day since. Every morning I wake

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Speaker 1: up and I crave a sip of that sweet peachy nectar.

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Speaker 1: I can't get enough. And I'm beginning to notice that

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Speaker 1: I am a lot more alert, but in an evil way, sometimes,

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Speaker 1: the way that takes away my presence and well being

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Speaker 1: and replaces it with overthinking and anxiety. I also picked

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Speaker 1: up a zin habit while working long days, so it

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Speaker 1: all compounds. That is to say, I know why I

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Speaker 1: drink it so much. It gives me a rush, and

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Speaker 1: I like it, even though it makes me feel weird.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm trying not to let it overtake my life,

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Speaker 1: but it may. I know you partake in the occasion

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Speaker 1: of Celsius. Have you tried the Peach Vibe? What do

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Speaker 1: you think? Have you had issues with stimulants before? I

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Speaker 1: am not secretly a Celsius spokesperson. Please drink coffee if

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Speaker 1: you can. It's an expensive habit. Ooh, you have a

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Speaker 1: lot of thoughts about this stuff? Yes, so, I mean

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Man, it's hard because, uh, I mean

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Speaker 1: I'm on coffee right now. I was a big Celsius

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Speaker 1: guy and then I started taking vibance and now if

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Speaker 1: I drink a Celsius and the vibance, it probably will

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Speaker 1: kill me on days that I end up that I

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Speaker 1: skipped my vibance for whatever reason, I do a Celsius

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Speaker 1: and dude, I don't know. I'm not a doctor. I'm

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Speaker 1: a terrible guy for like for like medical advice. But

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Speaker 1: I'll just tell you my I'll just tell you my

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Speaker 1: experience with the stuff is that like I don't feel

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Speaker 1: normal if I'm not on some kind of stimulant. Like

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Speaker 1: I get really fucking depressed if I don't have coffee

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Speaker 1: or Celsius or vibance. Now that's probably not good or

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Speaker 1: it's just like, I mean, I have a weird brain, man,

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Speaker 1: I got all the you know whatever mental health issues

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Speaker 1: and all that shit in the ADHD. And I'll let

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Speaker 1: and uh, I'll be on vibeance, man, and I'll just

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Speaker 1: be like wow, holy Like I'll have like a minute

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Speaker 1: where I'm like, oh, okay, I understand I think how

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Speaker 1: most people maybe not most people, but like like I'll

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Speaker 1: see relaxed people and people just going about their lives,

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Speaker 1: not going insane, and I'll have a second where I'm like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 1: I think I know what that feels like, and I'll

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Speaker 1: have and that's that's about two hours of me on vibeance.

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Speaker 1: So it feels good, and it feels good when I'm

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Speaker 1: in uh with the Celsius too, because it just, you

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Speaker 1: know how it is with ADHD, like you just can't

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Speaker 1: fucking do anything, and then when you get the feeling

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Speaker 1: that you actually have some control over your fucking life,

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Speaker 1: it makes you feel great, makes you feel like the

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Speaker 1: world's in some insane burden that you're like sissifhicianly rolling

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Speaker 1: the ball up the hill. You feel like you can

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Speaker 1: kind of pick the ball up and throw it across

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Speaker 1: the field. Now, Listen, I've always fantasized or thought that, like, hey,

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Speaker 1: what if I quit doing all that stuff? And I

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Speaker 1: just like took like a few months to get unaddicted to,

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Speaker 1: you know, a sugar and I eat salmon every day,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't, you know whatever whatever when I with

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Speaker 1: that secretly fix things for me. I don't know, maybe,

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Speaker 1: but every time I've tried to do that, I end

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Speaker 1: up feeling like shit. But I know I've been on

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Speaker 1: a I've been on caffeine for so long that I

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Speaker 1: don't really know how I feel like without it. And

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Speaker 1: I know that when you quit any kind of substances

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Speaker 1: is strong withdrawal period that you have to really get through.

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Speaker 1: And every day feels like a year to me. So

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Speaker 1: when someone's like, oh, you got to give it two

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Speaker 1: months before you really can become unaddicted, I'm like, fuck you,

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Speaker 1: I don't have two months. That's two months. Let's that's

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Speaker 1: like my entire life for all I know. So, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is this is just me ranting about my experience

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Speaker 1: with it, but I'm not I don't know if this

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Speaker 1: was helpful to you at all. It is interesting that

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Speaker 1: cutting back on caffeine helped you out with your social anxiety. Uh,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out what you mean when you

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Speaker 1: say that you are evil. You take it, takes away

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Speaker 1: your presence and replaces it with overthinking and anxiety. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I feel I feel the opposite when I'm

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Speaker 1: on a stimulant, because like, if I'm just talking as

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Speaker 1: to someone and I'm not and I'm adhde, I'm really

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Speaker 1: not present I'm thinking about life and everything else. But

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Speaker 1: if I'm on the stimulant and I feel good and

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Speaker 1: someone some fucking guys talking to me about something that

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Speaker 1: i'll give a fuck about, I'll engage with him. I'd

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Speaker 1: be like, oh, interesting, I've never seen that before, but

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Speaker 1: I'll check it out. Oh, okay, you do B two

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Speaker 1: B marketing? SaaS interesting? Now? I how does marketing? Uh?

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Speaker 1: The kind of Facebook ads really work? And I'm not

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Speaker 1: even bullshitting when I'm doing that stuff. I'm really in it.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, and I'm in my head, I'm thinking, Wow,

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Speaker 1: I'm acting like such a normal human being and it's

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Speaker 1: happening so effortlessly, and I'm not thinking. I'm just I

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Speaker 1: just love love. I love being a normal human being.

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Speaker 1: It feels so fucking good. I don't know if I've

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Speaker 1: told this story on the podcast before, but I'll tell it.

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Speaker 1: I remember it was just like twenty twenty three or something.

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Speaker 1: I was going through a really hard time and it's

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Speaker 1: a lot of anxiety, a lot of overthinking, a lot

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Speaker 1: of mental health whatever. And I was I was at

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Speaker 1: some party or whatever, and I was sitting at a

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Speaker 1: table with these guys, and this one guy he's making

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Speaker 1: a sandwich and he puts some Dorito's on his sandwich,

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Speaker 1: and the other guy looks at him and is like, hey, man,

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Speaker 1: you like putting chips on your sandwich. And then the

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Speaker 1: guys with the sandwich, he's like, Oh, I love putting

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Speaker 1: chips on my sandwich. And then they start talking about

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Speaker 1: putting chips on their sandwich and they're and I'm watching

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Speaker 1: them have this conversation, and I'm just like, these two

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Speaker 1: guys are so deeply in the present right now, Like

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Speaker 1: I just felt. I was just I'm over fucking thinking everything,

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Speaker 1: and I'm watching them, and I'm like, these guys are

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Speaker 1: in the present right now, just like in life, talking

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Speaker 1: about putting chips on a sandwich, making jokes, they're brain whatever.

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Speaker 1: You never know what's going on in someone's head. But

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Speaker 1: I was pretty goddamn sure that these two guys were

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Speaker 1: one hundred percent invested in that current moment, in the

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Speaker 1: conversation that they were having with each other about putting

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Speaker 1: chips on a sandwich. And I was observing this and

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Speaker 1: I fuck it, I had to go to their room.

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Speaker 1: I started crying because I was like, I fucking wish

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Speaker 1: I could do that. I wish I could be in

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Speaker 1: a fucking just normal conversation without thinking all this anxious,

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Speaker 1: crazy thoughts. And you know, I wish I could just

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Speaker 1: be sitting there having a conversation about chips in a

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Speaker 1: sandwich and not thinking about twenty other different horrible things.

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Speaker 1: And vibance gets me that point. So that's why I

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Speaker 1: like it. And I'm sure there's other chemically things or whatever.

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Speaker 1: But you know, if your brain is just wired in

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Speaker 1: a certain way where you it's just it's always somewhere else,

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Speaker 1: then I don't know, You're just I don't know. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I've since I've since then been able to have plenty

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Speaker 1: of conversations about normal ass shit without freaking out. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: that was a long rant. Thanks for sending in your things, Sam,

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Speaker 1: I appreciate you. Okay. Another e mail, This one is

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Speaker 1: from Kalin, subject line fish farmer, Hey Gek, I called

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Speaker 1: you last week and actually got through, but somehow managed

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Speaker 1: to botch answering the phone correctly. I was calling to

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Speaker 1: talk to you about my experience moving across the country

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Speaker 1: to work at a fish hatchery. So far, it's been

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Speaker 1: a great experience. I feed fish and clean tanks every day,

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Speaker 1: and do some basic maintenance around the hatchery. It pays

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Speaker 1: well and my housing is provided, so it's a heck

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Speaker 1: of a way to save some money. I live at

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Speaker 1: the hatchery in my own house, right at the base

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Speaker 1: of the mountains. It is beautiful here. That said, I

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Speaker 1: have been getting rather homesick lately. Last week was especially

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Speaker 1: bad as my grandma passed away and I wasn't able

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Speaker 1: to go back for the funeral. This was really hard

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Speaker 1: for me, but my family reassured me that this is

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Speaker 1: what my grandma would want me to do. I missed

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Speaker 1: my family and friends quite a lot, but I am

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Speaker 1: still glad I'm trying this. Yes, thanks for reading this, Gech.

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Speaker 1: I've listened to you for years, but only tried reaching

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Speaker 1: out in the past week. I know you don't typically

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Speaker 1: call during your gek Mal episodes, but I'm going to

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Speaker 1: leave you my number with no expectations. Yours truly, fish farmer.

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Speaker 1: You know a fish farmer. I I'm really happy for you.

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Speaker 1: I am. I think that in life it's important to

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Speaker 1: have an ARC. I'm pro arc some people. Not everyone

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Speaker 1: wants to have an ARC. I get that the majority

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Speaker 1: of people even probably don't want to have arcs. But

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Speaker 1: I'm pro arc and part of an arc is that

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Speaker 1: you have to go on the hero's journey and leave

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Speaker 1: wherever you are so you can go on your arc.

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Speaker 1: And you did it, Fish Farmer, Yell left and the

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Speaker 1: trade off is that you're not going to be around

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Speaker 1: your friends and your family as much. But the good

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Speaker 1: news is you develop as a parson, and that's what

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Speaker 1: you really want because I'll see your friends of your family,

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Speaker 1: They're gonna, you know, have their own lives and be

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Speaker 1: doing their own thing. And I don't know, I just

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Speaker 1: feel like life is such a brief flash in the

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Speaker 1: pan that you want to see stuff and do stuff.

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Speaker 1: So I'm glad that you made the decision to move

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Speaker 1: across the country feeding fish cleaning tanks. That sounds nice, man,

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Speaker 1: Keep doing your thing, Fish Farmer. Sorry, I don't have

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Speaker 1: a whole lot to say about that. Okay, this is

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Speaker 1: I mean, I had things to say about that. I

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Speaker 1: gotta stop beating myself up, all right. This is from

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Speaker 1: Walker subject line the time in Indian Guru saved my bacon. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so me and my buddy had been experimenting with shrooms

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Speaker 1: for a minute, but the most we had ever taken

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Speaker 1: wasn't eighth, so we get the bright idea to go

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Speaker 1: on the hero's journey parentheses any dose above five grams

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Speaker 1: and do seven grams each. It was sub zero temperatures

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Speaker 1: and icy at shit. We took our shrooms and have

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Speaker 1: an absolute blast to the first half of the night.

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Speaker 1: About part way through the night, we go to walk

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Speaker 1: my friend's dog, and the snow, the air, and the

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Speaker 1: moon all have a crazy blood red tint to it,

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Speaker 1: and it freaked us the fuck out. We tried to

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Speaker 1: go to bed, but after twenty minutes he kicks me

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Speaker 1: out of his house because he's going through some emotional

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Speaker 1: shit and tripping hard. So I freak the fuck out

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Speaker 1: because it's midnight. I gotta be at work at seven,

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Speaker 1: and now I have to drive while tripping balls all

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Speaker 1: the way back home. I'm crying because if I get

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Speaker 1: pulled over, I'm going to jail. But the sub zero

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Speaker 1: temperatures and ice actually saved my ass because no cops

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Speaker 1: were out and about Okay, I'm gonna forre This is

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Speaker 1: really stupid, but anyway, whatever, Okay. As I'm driving home,

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Speaker 1: I start seeing demons flying at my windshield or reaching

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Speaker 1: out for why don't you just sleep into the car, dude,

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Speaker 1: turn on the fucking air conditioning and just sleep in

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Speaker 1: the car. Why are you driving home? This was stupid? Okay,

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Speaker 1: whatever I mean, I don't know why I'm lecturing you.

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Speaker 1: It's like you did it. You're already doing it. But

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Speaker 1: just next time this happens, just like, sleep in the car.

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Speaker 1: Turn the heater out and just sleep in the car.

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Speaker 1: Don't start driving. That's a terrible idea, especially with the

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Speaker 1: ice and the snow and all that shit. Okay, at

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Speaker 1: this point, I feel, okay, where was I? I start

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Speaker 1: seeing demons flying at my windshield or reaching out for me,

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Speaker 1: trying to make me crash Jesus Christ. But somehow I

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Speaker 1: managed to take every back road I know and make

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Speaker 1: it home safe and sound. At this point, I can

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Speaker 1: still feel the demons all around my property. I'm tossing

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Speaker 1: and turning and praying to keep them away from me

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Speaker 1: and my house. Then out of nowhere, I hear this

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Speaker 1: Indian guy's voice say, be calm, my child, You're a

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Speaker 1: protected sleep now, and I instantly pass the fuck out.

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Speaker 1: The next morning, I go to work and about the

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Speaker 1: shit a brick when the first thing that pops up

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Speaker 1: in my Google news is thousands of Indian temples closed

385
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Speaker 1: in wake of super blood moon for fear of evil spirits. Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm not trying to be your dad, Walker,

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Speaker 1: but just go to sleep in the car. Man. I

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Speaker 1: like mushrooms as much as the next guy. But just

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Speaker 1: go to sleep in the car. Dude, I don't think that.

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Speaker 1: I don't think an Indian. I don't understand how you're

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Speaker 1: saying that an Indian, this Indian guy saved you. I

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Speaker 1: don't think any of this is related. I think it

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Speaker 1: was all hallucinations. I think it was all a coincidence.

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Speaker 1: There's nothing cosmic about any of this. You weren't visited

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Speaker 1: by demons. You just got really high and drove around

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Speaker 1: and almost died. I'm sorry, let's just go to sleep

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Speaker 1: of the car next time. Walker, I'm a bummer. Sorry man,

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00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:39,480
Speaker 1: all right? Anyway, This next email is from James Hey GEK,

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Speaker 1: hope existence is treating you well today. I wanted to

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Speaker 1: get an email to you to get your thoughts on

401
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 1: some life motivation stuff. I am a professional bassoonist slash composer.

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Speaker 1: Less than a year out of school. I finished my

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Speaker 1: master's degree. Last May. Lately, it has felt odd to

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Speaker 1: call myself a even though I have the skill set

405
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 1: because leaving Because since leaving school, work in music has

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Speaker 1: become sparse. I used to be getting calls regularly to

407
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Speaker 1: sub for local symphonies, but haven't received any in months.

408
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,159
Speaker 1: I've had some recent success in composing, with six of

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Speaker 1: my compositions on the way to being published, but it

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00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,680
Speaker 1: almost feels like false hope because while I enjoy writing,

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Speaker 1: I really want to share this music with others, and

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Speaker 1: I'm having a hard time believing my music will sell.

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Speaker 1: On top of this, I'm the main income supporting for

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Speaker 1: my family of parentheses, partner and two cats, so I've

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Speaker 1: had to take on non music jobs to help sussain myself.

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Speaker 1: I'm on my fourth job since graduating. I'm currently a

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Speaker 1: puzzle quality control technician. It's honestly an awesome job. Wait,

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Speaker 1: that's sick, I guess. I'm just wondering if you have

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Speaker 1: any advice on pushing the dream forward through all the

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Speaker 1: bullshit of life and ways that I can keep motivating

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Speaker 1: myself to do all this extra work for the thing

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Speaker 1: I love. Hmm, well, yeah, I have a few thoughts

423
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 1: about this. Is I think there's certain things that like,

424
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 1: if you really like doing them, you just can't not

425
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 1: do that, do it, you know what I mean? So like,

426
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 1: if you really like making music, I'm going to assume that,

427
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: like you just don't live in a world where you

428
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 1: don't do it, right, So you're gonna keep doing the work.

429
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:36,720
Speaker 1: You're gonna keep making music. So at the end of

430
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 1: the day, right, it's like there's really there's really nothing

431
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 1: you can do except for keep doing the work and

432
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 1: then figuring out creative ways to market the work. But

433
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:56,040
Speaker 1: it sounds to me like, you know, you've been a

434
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 1: musician for a long time, and I don't think that

435
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:03,199
Speaker 1: that's going away anytime soon. So as long as I

436
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 1: know it's kind of fluffy, But as long as you

437
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: just keep doing the work and keep making the music,

438
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,920
Speaker 1: if something is gonna happen, it'll happen. I think. Again,

439
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 1: it's about kind of how you choose to market yourself

440
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:17,160
Speaker 1: and how you choose to kind of be smart about

441
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,440
Speaker 1: the things that you're creating. But the fact that you're

442
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:28,120
Speaker 1: creating it in general is a good sign. So, hmm,

443
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 1: how can I keep motivating myself to do all this

444
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 1: extra work for the thing I love, just love it,

445
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 1: just love doing it. Just I think that's I think

446
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 1: that's the only way you'll not get burnt out is

447
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 1: to just love what you're doing so much that you

448
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 1: can't not do it. That's my that's my best sort

449
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 1: of thought on that, even if it's a little frothy.

450
00:28:56,760 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 1: All right. This is from Margarita, subject line recurring dreams

451
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 1: and predictions for real life. Hey, Gek, I hope you're

452
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 1: having a good day and having healthy, consistent bowel movements.

453
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 1: You can call me Morbo. I'm emailing you because of

454
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 1: your recent podcast where in the gek Mal segment, someone

455
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 1: asked about a dream they had about their parents' plane

456
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 1: crash and whether that meant their parents were going to

457
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 1: die in real life, and you expressed your opinion that

458
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: dreams do not externally influence reality. I have a story

459
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 1: about a personal recurring dream that I have never been

460
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 1: able to fully understand. I don't necessarily agree or disagree

461
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 1: about the external influence of dreams, but this experience always

462
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 1: felt like more than just a coincidence. Every night for

463
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 1: about a year when I was four or five, I

464
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: had a comforting, predictable dream my grandpa would take me

465
00:29:56,360 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 1: down a long hallway to a vibrant, factory like playroom

466
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 1: filled with colorful turning gears, dials, and levers. He would

467
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 1: leave me there while he was at work, and I

468
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 1: would happily play until he returned at the end of

469
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 1: the day. The dream always ended with me running into

470
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 1: his arms and us walking hand in hand back down

471
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 1: the hallway, at which point I would wake up. However,

472
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:27,480
Speaker 1: one night, the dream changed. We were walking down the

473
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 1: same hallway, but I felt dread and anxiety. I didn't

474
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: want to go into the room, but my grandpa insisted

475
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 1: he needed to go to work and dropped me off anyway.

476
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 1: The room was now rusty, jagged, and dull. I played

477
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 1: for what seemed like forever, but he never came back,

478
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: and I couldn't open the door to leave. That morning,

479
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 1: I ran to his room and tried to wake him

480
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 1: up to ask him to make me scrambled eggs, as

481
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 1: he did every day. He never woke up. He had

482
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 1: passed away from a heart attack during the night. I

483
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 1: was the first to discover him that morning. As a

484
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 1: five year old, I told my mother he was just

485
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 1: being lazy and not wanting to wake up because I

486
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 1: didn't understand what death was. For the next two or

487
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:16,160
Speaker 1: three years, I had the same dream again, but this

488
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 1: time I was walking down the hallway alone and entering

489
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 1: the room, which fluctuated between rusty and colorful depending on

490
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 1: the day, always searching for my grandpa, but he was

491
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,080
Speaker 1: never there. I would just play in the room alone

492
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 1: until I woke up. Eventually the dream stopped. While my

493
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 1: grandpa was a healthy, athletic man with no indication of sickness.

494
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 1: I'm not claiming the dream predicted his death, but I

495
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 1: often think back to why the dream changed so dramatically

496
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 1: the night he passed, seemingly warning me that he would

497
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 1: not be there anymore. I would love to know what

498
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 1: you think of this experience. I have a few more

499
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 1: scenarios of my recurring dreams suddenly changing the night before

500
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:02,360
Speaker 1: something's significant happen to me, almost like a prediction or

501
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 1: a warming Thank you for reading this. I hope it

502
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 1: was interesting. That was interesting. What do I think about this?

503
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't I'm listen. I'm pretty agnostic when

504
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:20,440
Speaker 1: it comes to a lot of stuff. I'm very easily

505
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 1: I'm somewhat easily convinced of things that are supernatural in

506
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 1: a sense whether or not. What do I think? I mean?

507
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 1: I'm I think that's pretty crazy story. I'm I don't

508
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 1: know if I'm gonna go ahead and say that it

509
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 1: was a predictor of your grandpa's death, but I think

510
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 1: it is a pretty crazy coincidence. Nonetheless, thank you for

511
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 1: sharing that story. That was very interesting. Okay, here's a

512
00:32:54,640 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 1: real crazy one. This is from Solid Snake. Subject line,

513
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 1: I have a scat fetish and I will never be loved,

514
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,280
Speaker 1: Hi Lyle. I will spare you any of the graphic

515
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 1: details regarding my condition. I really just want to share

516
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 1: what my life actually looks like to another living soul.

517
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm not as crazy as I think I am.

518
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 1: I am a twenty eight year old Venezuelan man, really poor,

519
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 1: divorced parents, never went to college, never did anything meaningful

520
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 1: in life. At the moment, I live in Paraguay, where

521
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:34,480
Speaker 1: I work in a cement factory. I live with my mother,

522
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:38,480
Speaker 1: who also works in another factory. We earn barely enough

523
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 1: to pay our bills and basic stuff. Our life is

524
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 1: hard and we only have ourselves, but we keep going.

525
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 1: Besides working on a factory, I also enjoy making techno music, drawing,

526
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 1: furries and cinema. When my parents divorced, I became a

527
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 1: low self esteem, quiet kid, so I ended up developing

528
00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: a creative side. I am bisexual, and as I grew up,

529
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 1: I developed a very unhealthy sexuality. I can only have

530
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:09,399
Speaker 1: sexual pleasure by living traumas again and putting myself through

531
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 1: humiliating situations. When I was five years old, before the divorce,

532
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:18,400
Speaker 1: I was playing Doggie in a side of the house

533
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:23,360
Speaker 1: while my family was drinking polar and having a parilla

534
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 1: in the living room. What is a parilla? Uh, I

535
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:33,400
Speaker 1: have no idea what that is. I guess a party.

536
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 1: I was told dogs were dirty and animals. I was

537
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 1: told dogs were dirty animals, and I concluded that dogs

538
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 1: eat their own shit and if I am playing doggie,

539
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 1: I had to go all the way. Next thing I know,

540
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 1: my dad walks in on me with a mouth full

541
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 1: of shit. My Johnny Bravo shirt all smeared with shit,

542
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 1: and he gets really angry. He grabs me by one

543
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,400
Speaker 1: hand and drags me from the living room all the

544
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 1: way to the bedroom. My whole family sees me all

545
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 1: covered in shit with a stupid face, laughing and laughing.

546
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,799
Speaker 1: That day was the day that I died. For the

547
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:18,400
Speaker 1: first time, it felt like I died. I remember the

548
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 1: shame burning, the feeling that I fucked something up forever.

549
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,400
Speaker 1: As I grew up, I learned to get turned on

550
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 1: by the thought of being dirty and a toilet for

551
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:32,800
Speaker 1: other men. I had another similar episode in my teenage years.

552
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,240
Speaker 1: Left my Gmail account, logged in on the family computer,

553
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:39,720
Speaker 1: and my dad saw my stash of gay role plays

554
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: and my gay scat fetish porn stash while I was away.

555
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,840
Speaker 1: I was never too close to my dad, but that

556
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 1: day I think I died for him for real. I

557
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 1: was fifteen at that time. After that, I got out

558
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:57,280
Speaker 1: of home, found a job, and rented a house together

559
00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 1: with my mom. She was always very accepting of who

560
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:02,840
Speaker 1: I was. Now that we are here in Paraguay, I

561
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,840
Speaker 1: haven't spoken to my dad in some time. He stopped

562
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:08,719
Speaker 1: sending me messages a few birthdays ago and a few

563
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:12,760
Speaker 1: Christmases ago. I'm glad he moved on. He didn't deserve

564
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 1: to have a six son like me. Right now, I

565
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,839
Speaker 1: live a pretty normal life. Been at the factory for

566
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:22,839
Speaker 1: four years, always passed as someone normal to my coworkers.

567
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 1: I don't have friends and don't go out much. I

568
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 1: have a side job of drawing scat fetish art for furries.

569
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:32,920
Speaker 1: It pays well and it's nice. I have a problems

570
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:36,719
Speaker 1: with opening up to others emotionally. I haven't had a

571
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 1: relationship since I was a teen and only have hookups

572
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:43,359
Speaker 1: with strangers. I feel undeserving of love and mostly want

573
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 1: to be alone all the time. I don't think I

574
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,480
Speaker 1: will ever find someone who will accept me for who

575
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:51,319
Speaker 1: I am. Sometimes I want to try my fetish with

576
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:55,799
Speaker 1: other men, but scat is a very high health risk fetish,

577
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:59,240
Speaker 1: probably one of the most dangerous ones. It's a fetish

578
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:03,520
Speaker 1: I experienced mostly through porn and masturbation and fantasy. I

579
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:06,040
Speaker 1: don't see my life improving in any way. I think

580
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 1: I will continue to be poor and with all my

581
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:11,479
Speaker 1: sex problems until I am old. My mom will die

582
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 1: and I will be alone. Is this life worth living? Who? Okay? Well, well,

583
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 1: solid snake, okay, give me just a moment too. Take

584
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:35,880
Speaker 1: that one. In the Scots stuff and the and the like,

585
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:39,319
Speaker 1: the eating poop stuff is not the I think it's

586
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 1: the question of is this life worth living? That is

587
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:48,239
Speaker 1: like the the thing here? Is life worth living? I

588
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 1: don't know if I can answer this question. Obviously, this

589
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:54,720
Speaker 1: is a person who needs a real therapist to talk

590
00:37:54,760 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 1: through a bunch of stuff. But I have some ponders.

591
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 1: I mean, clearly, this guy has a lot of stuff

592
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:13,799
Speaker 1: going on with him that both internally and externally isolates

593
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 1: himself from other people. And I think it was brave

594
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 1: of you to write this email, Solid Snake, because you're

595
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 1: describing like really crazy fucked up stuff. But we live

596
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:36,439
Speaker 1: in a world with really crazy fucked up stuff, man,

597
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:41,840
Speaker 1: So you're probably not the only part whatever is going

598
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:45,239
Speaker 1: on with you. You're not the only one. You might

599
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:47,919
Speaker 1: be one of the few people brave enough to talk

600
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: about it, to write this email about it, but you're

601
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 1: not the only one. I mean, I mean, who were

602
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 1: you drawing this fetish scat furry porn for? You know,

603
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 1: think about that? Do you ever develop relationships with those people?

604
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:07,279
Speaker 1: I'm not even talking about romantic relationships, but like, who

605
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:10,759
Speaker 1: are you drawing this fucking porn for? Man? And what's

606
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,280
Speaker 1: going on with the furries? And where are the furries

607
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 1: in Venezuela? Whatever the fuck is going on with you?

608
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 1: There's there's some community, and maybe for you it's the

609
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 1: furry community, maybe whatever, But there's other people who are

610
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:32,239
Speaker 1: dealing with this stuff. And I think if I were you,

611
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:36,400
Speaker 1: I would do whatever it fucking took to go in

612
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,840
Speaker 1: search of those people. Even if even if it's just

613
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,360
Speaker 1: the internet, man, even if it's just you and a

614
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 1: bunch of fucking shit eating furries hanging out on discord,

615
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 1: you gotta be able to find other people who have

616
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:55,360
Speaker 1: the same problem as you. You have to because you

617
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 1: have no perspective right now, because you only know because

618
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:04,000
Speaker 1: you have this crazy thing going on internally that you're

619
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:07,040
Speaker 1: just dealing with alone, and it's just you and the

620
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:09,640
Speaker 1: entire planet who looks at it and goes, this is

621
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 1: too much. This is crazy for me to deal with.

622
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 1: But if you, I mean, this is why they have

623
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:17,279
Speaker 1: things like AA and you know, sex addicts anonymous and

624
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 1: all this stuff is so that people who have like

625
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,520
Speaker 1: a problem they think they're alone with, they can get

626
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 1: perspective from other people. And you really need that. You

627
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:28,920
Speaker 1: need that, like you desperately need that. And I think

628
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 1: you can find it. Where Who are these scat fetish

629
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:38,760
Speaker 1: furry people that you're drawing the art with. Start first,

630
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:42,359
Speaker 1: Start there, Start there, See if you can find other

631
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,319
Speaker 1: people that have the same problem as you just like

632
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:56,759
Speaker 1: start there is your life worth living? It's not a

633
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 1: good sign that I had to pause for that long,

634
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:00,799
Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean that I leave. Your life isn't

635
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 1: worth living. I don't. It's your It's hard because I'm

636
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 1: a bit of a fucking uh hm hm hm Is

637
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 1: your life worth living? Actually? Give me let because if

638
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 1: you're listening to this right now, here is what I

639
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 1: will say. And I will say that because I don't

640
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 1: I don't like being uh unrealistic, Okay, I really like.

641
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:30,759
Speaker 1: I don't like being like toxic positivity, and I don't

642
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 1: like going every life is amazing and beautiful and worth living.

643
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 1: I don't like doing that. But I will say this,

644
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 1: and I will say it with certainty, and I will

645
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:44,880
Speaker 1: say it with conviction. To you, solid snake, if you're listening,

646
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:53,759
Speaker 1: I a hundred percent believe that there are things out there,

647
00:41:54,719 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 1: be they people, places, meanings, and I believe this for everyone, people, places, meanings, work,

648
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 1: whatever it is. There's stuff out there that I don't

649
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:22,320
Speaker 1: know about and that you don't know about. Where if

650
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:27,799
Speaker 1: you kept living your life and you kept trying, and

651
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:33,120
Speaker 1: you kept trying to expand outside of yourself and find

652
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 1: these people, places, things, whatever they are, there are people, places,

653
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 1: things that you may discover and then realize that, yes,

654
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 1: your life is worth living. And I believe that one

655
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:47,879
Speaker 1: hundred percent. So even if you don't think that your

656
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,280
Speaker 1: life is it, and this is applicable to fucking everyone,

657
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:52,839
Speaker 1: even if you don't think that your life as it

658
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 1: is is worth living, I do believe that Again, if

659
00:42:57,520 --> 00:42:59,759
Speaker 1: you keep living it, and you keep trying to search

660
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:03,320
Speaker 1: a little bit outside of yourself, whether that's going to therapy,

661
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:07,799
Speaker 1: whether that's just saying fuck it and trying to make

662
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,520
Speaker 1: the connections with people anyway, even if you don't feel

663
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,200
Speaker 1: like it comes natural to you, like, the more you

664
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 1: just try to attempt outside of yourself, the greater chance

665
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 1: is that you'll discover again people, places, things, whatnot, thoughts,

666
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:26,760
Speaker 1: brother things inside. I don't only talking about the external

667
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:30,680
Speaker 1: things you might have. There's feelings that I don't fucking

668
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:33,239
Speaker 1: know about, that you don't know about that might make

669
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,240
Speaker 1: you think differently. You'll discover thought things inside of yourself

670
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 1: and outside of yourself that might make you believe that

671
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:43,240
Speaker 1: your life is worth living. So that's what I would

672
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 1: say to you, because I can't tell you that your

673
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:50,319
Speaker 1: life is worth living, because only you can decide that.

674
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:52,280
Speaker 1: But what I can tell you is that I'm pretty

675
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 1: confident that you don't have all the information and all

676
00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:02,520
Speaker 1: of the experiences that can inform you whether or not

677
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 1: you think your life is worth living. Does that make sense?

678
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:13,160
Speaker 1: I hope that makes sense. So look, there might be

679
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:16,840
Speaker 1: an under I because listen, there might be some dungeon

680
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:19,880
Speaker 1: in Venezuela where you can hang out with guys and

681
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:22,040
Speaker 1: shit in each other's mouths all day and it and

682
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:25,440
Speaker 1: then go to like get brunch afterwards, and it's amazing

683
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:30,160
Speaker 1: and you're like Wow. Until until I found the Venezuelan

684
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:34,600
Speaker 1: diarrhea dungeon, my life wasn't worth living. But now it is.

685
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 1: Now I have family and friends, now I got all

686
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,319
Speaker 1: this whole thing. So I don't know, but you you

687
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:41,920
Speaker 1: have to. You have to go in search. You have

688
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 1: to go in search of shit to make your life

689
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:48,279
Speaker 1: worth living. You can't just give up. I mean you can,

690
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 1: But don't you want to know? Don't you want to know?

691
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 1: Don't you want to know? Don't you want to know

692
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 1: if you can live a life that's worth living too?

693
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:07,320
Speaker 1: You want to at least try really hard to see

694
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 1: if maybe you can discover something that makes your life

695
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:15,080
Speaker 1: worth living. That's what I would say to you, solid snake.

696
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 1: So good luck out there, man. All right, let's keep going.

697
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:29,560
Speaker 1: This is from Mike, subject line Old English erectile dysfunction

698
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:34,760
Speaker 1: Therapy Gecko. I am honored and esteemed to be writing

699
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 1: to you, Righteous Gecko, regarding a conundrum which has troubled

700
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 1: me for some time. It is a great desire of

701
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 1: mine to one day grace the presence of the Therapy

702
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:49,279
Speaker 1: Gecko podcast, and I do hope that day is soon

703
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:53,000
Speaker 1: to come. Okay, what's the thing. But for now, fair Gecko,

704
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 1: I write to you via digital messaging, and I beg

705
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:58,040
Speaker 1: you to hearken my every word. I'm about to stop

706
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 1: reading this email, all right, I'll finish. I'm too deep

707
00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:04,719
Speaker 1: into it. For I am in love and have fostered

708
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:08,120
Speaker 1: a growing relationship with the very maiden I had eyes

709
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:10,319
Speaker 1: four in high school. Okay, you won me back, Mike.

710
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:14,200
Speaker 1: Many a year. We have known each other and our

711
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 1: feelings are known to one another. She cares about me deeply,

712
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:21,920
Speaker 1: but an unfortunate problem has dashed my hopes of claiming

713
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:25,320
Speaker 1: her as my lady. For you see a dastardly case

714
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 1: of erectile dysfunction has stricken me, and a vile case

715
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:34,719
Speaker 1: of it. Indeed, a virgin I am not. But with

716
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 1: this woman, whom I so adore, my heart simply gives way,

717
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 1: and I find myself fraught with trepidition. Half a dozen

718
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:45,239
Speaker 1: nights we have gone to bed together, but alas my

719
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:50,920
Speaker 1: nether regions freeze like stone from Medusa's horrid glare. Overcome

720
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:53,440
Speaker 1: with nerves, I am and a rift that has caused

721
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 1: between us. I can feel within me this maiden has

722
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:58,880
Speaker 1: feelings for me, but the lack of sex has caused

723
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:01,880
Speaker 1: her to not want to date me. I love this girl,

724
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,000
Speaker 1: and I think she loves me, but this ed is

725
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 1: an issue. Therapy, Gecko, Whatever shall I do? Ps. I

726
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:17,240
Speaker 1: was embarrassed and only felt comfortable sharing this through medieval wordplay. Apologies. Dude,

727
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:20,240
Speaker 1: take one of the pills. Have you taken the pills?

728
00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:22,799
Speaker 1: I've never taken any of the pills, but I know

729
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:27,600
Speaker 1: there's pills. Try the pills man. We needed a Dick

730
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:33,480
Speaker 1: pills sponsor on this show. Try one of the pill companies.

731
00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:36,800
Speaker 1: This blue cheo, I mean, I look this blue cheo,

732
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:44,640
Speaker 1: see Alice. Let's take a pill man, it'll make your

733
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:50,719
Speaker 1: dick work again. Is that? It is? That all we

734
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:54,080
Speaker 1: have to say to this guy? I think it is.

735
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:59,359
Speaker 1: It's a medical issue. Let me look up Okay, I'm

736
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:05,719
Speaker 1: gonna look into Salis real quick Sealice generic side effects. Okay,

737
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 1: what are the side effects of cialis? Headache, back pain,

738
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:22,680
Speaker 1: nasal congestion. Okay, it's not that bad, I don't think. Hey, man,

739
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 1: just take some Cialis you'll be Okay. You don't talk

740
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:28,440
Speaker 1: like that when you're in bed with her, do you?

741
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 1: Maybe she likes that. I don't know. I don't know her.

742
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:36,799
Speaker 1: She's probably a nice lady. Take Cialis, man. This is

743
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:43,360
Speaker 1: from h subject line. I am living too many different lives, Lyle.

744
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:46,120
Speaker 1: I am twenty three and have never felt more unsure

745
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:48,839
Speaker 1: about my place in this world. While this is very

746
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:51,600
Speaker 1: normal for someone my age, it feels very intense right now.

747
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:54,520
Speaker 1: After over a year of looking for my ideal job

748
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,279
Speaker 1: and something I am passionate for, I finally got it.

749
00:48:57,520 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 1: But every time I feel like I hit my stride

750
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 1: in it, I get knocked back down hard, and I

751
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 1: work fifty hours a week. I feel like part of

752
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 1: it may be the company, but I'm scared to leave

753
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:09,320
Speaker 1: because I don't know if I'll be able to find

754
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 1: another job since it took so long to get this one.

755
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,400
Speaker 1: At home, I struggle because I have a two year

756
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:19,920
Speaker 1: old and a boyfriend waiting for me. I own my home,

757
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:22,960
Speaker 1: but I'm never there to take care of things, and

758
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 1: when I get home, everyone needs my attention. I can't

759
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:28,799
Speaker 1: get any time alone with myself or with my boyfriend.

760
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 1: It takes a toll when I have no energy or

761
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,799
Speaker 1: time to go around, and most people my age don't

762
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:36,439
Speaker 1: understand how it feels to be a parent and try

763
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 1: to maintain a committed relationship with your co parent. Meanwhile,

764
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 1: I have a crush on my coworker as well. Interesting

765
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:47,799
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm just projecting because he is so

766
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:51,720
Speaker 1: different from my current boyfriend. His values align a little

767
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:54,800
Speaker 1: more with mine, and he is physically more my type.

768
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:58,400
Speaker 1: I spend so much time working next to him. I

769
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 1: don't know how to not think about it. I'm trying

770
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:02,600
Speaker 1: to let it run its course, but I have a

771
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:05,360
Speaker 1: hard time. Partially because I am the type of person

772
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:07,799
Speaker 1: to share my feelings it helps to get it off

773
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:10,359
Speaker 1: my chest, but partially because I fear that I am

774
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 1: settling because I want to be there for my daughter.

775
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:15,800
Speaker 1: Part of me knows there has to be someone better

776
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 1: out there for me. I come from the restaurant industry originally,

777
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:21,960
Speaker 1: and I wish I could go back. I hated how

778
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:24,480
Speaker 1: my growth was so stunted and the pay is not great,

779
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:27,799
Speaker 1: but the schedule was perfect for my family. I still

780
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:30,279
Speaker 1: had problems, but generally I was comfortable because I could

781
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:32,880
Speaker 1: enjoy more of my time and food is one of

782
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 1: my passions. How do I choose between two passions? Now?

783
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,280
Speaker 1: I am lost trying to figure out all these conflicting

784
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:42,200
Speaker 1: ideas in my head. My mind feels like a garden

785
00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 1: full of dying flowers and I can't figure out which

786
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 1: ones to water. Send help who. I said at the

787
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:56,399
Speaker 1: beginning of this podcast that I wasn't gonna blindly throw

788
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:58,440
Speaker 1: out advice just because I felt like I had to

789
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:05,400
Speaker 1: say something and saw I'm not, but I will ponder this. Okay.

790
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:10,880
Speaker 1: So she said something about maintaining a committed relationship with

791
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:14,799
Speaker 1: her co parent. I am I to assume that the

792
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:20,880
Speaker 1: two year old she has is with this boyfriend. I

793
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna assume that she called him a co parent.

794
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:27,960
Speaker 1: I okay, I think I think that the boyfriend is

795
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:30,319
Speaker 1: the same person. Okay, all right, so you got you

796
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:32,600
Speaker 1: had this kid when you were twenty one. So I

797
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:34,239
Speaker 1: don't know how long you've been with your boyfriend. For

798
00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:40,400
Speaker 1: I can't tell you whether or not to leave your

799
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:46,319
Speaker 1: boyfriend at the first sign of feeling like you're more

800
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:51,160
Speaker 1: aligned with someone else. But I have a few thoughts.

801
00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:57,879
Speaker 1: I mean, I do think that like staying together for

802
00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:07,440
Speaker 1: the kids is kind of a recipe for like not

803
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 1: not a great relationship, Like do you like your boyfriend?

804
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:15,440
Speaker 1: You know? Is the like, yeah, this is a shiny

805
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:17,840
Speaker 1: new thing, and we're always gonna get distracted by shiny

806
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:20,520
Speaker 1: new things, and there's always gonna be somebody that we're

807
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:23,359
Speaker 1: more attracted to or more aligned with us. Like that's

808
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 1: just always gonna happen, right, So forget about the crush

809
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,279
Speaker 1: for a second, and just like do you do we

810
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:36,279
Speaker 1: do we like the boyfriend? Do you like him? Do

811
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:38,360
Speaker 1: you want to be with him? Do you want to

812
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:39,960
Speaker 1: be with him? Or do you are you just like

813
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:44,359
Speaker 1: we gotta stay together or else this things are gonna

814
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:48,520
Speaker 1: be weird with this kid, you know, because that's just

815
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:50,719
Speaker 1: gonna because where does that go? That's a lifetime of

816
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:55,239
Speaker 1: resentment right there. You know you're gonna be for sixteen

817
00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:57,080
Speaker 1: more years. You're just gonna be with this guy that

818
00:52:57,080 --> 00:53:01,359
Speaker 1: you don't where they like. But I don't know, I don't.

819
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:04,880
Speaker 1: I can't really tell. I can't really tell from this

820
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:07,640
Speaker 1: email whether or not you like your boyfriends. And I

821
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:10,320
Speaker 1: mean that I don't. I don't mean that this email

822
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:12,600
Speaker 1: is saying to me that you don't like your boyfriend.

823
00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:15,800
Speaker 1: But I just can't tell whether not you like him.

824
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:18,040
Speaker 1: But yeah, there's always gonna be people that you're more

825
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:20,879
Speaker 1: physically attracted to and whose values aligned with you more.

826
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:23,120
Speaker 1: And also, you've you've probably been with if you had

827
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:24,719
Speaker 1: the kid when you were twenty one, you've probably been

828
00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:28,160
Speaker 1: with this guy for since you were like, I don't know,

829
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,359
Speaker 1: i'll give you the I'll give you nineteen. Maybe you've

830
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:32,839
Speaker 1: probably been with this guy for at least a year

831
00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 1: or two before you had the kid, so you know,

832
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:37,919
Speaker 1: and especially because you're so young, you're like an ever

833
00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:43,600
Speaker 1: evolving person, so obviously your values and your boyfriend's values

834
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:48,279
Speaker 1: are gonna change. You Guys evolve to be people. So

835
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:52,680
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's advice, but that's a that's

836
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:58,680
Speaker 1: my ponder. And then as far as the job, goes. Uh,

837
00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:01,960
Speaker 1: let me reread some of this. After a year of

838
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:04,960
Speaker 1: working for my looking for my ideal job. After looking

839
00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:06,879
Speaker 1: for my ideal job, I finally got it. But every

840
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:08,399
Speaker 1: time I feel like I hit my stride, I get

841
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 1: knocked back down hard. It's hard for me to answer

842
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,279
Speaker 1: that without knowing what you mean by get knocked back

843
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:20,200
Speaker 1: down hard? Who's are you? Are you being knocked down by? Like?

844
00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:21,880
Speaker 1: Oh fuck, I'm not as good at this as I

845
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:24,359
Speaker 1: thought I was. Because if that's the case, I think

846
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 1: it's okay for you to just keep going and trying.

847
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:30,680
Speaker 1: Or are you getting knocked back down? Because I don't know.

848
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 1: I don't really know what the industry is. Hm. I

849
00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 1: come from the restaurant originally industry Originally. I wish I

850
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:48,440
Speaker 1: could go back. Uh, the schedule is perfect for my family, hmm.

851
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:53,359
Speaker 1: I fuck. I don't want to just give advice because

852
00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:56,400
Speaker 1: I feel like I have to say something I really don't.

853
00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:00,120
Speaker 1: This is hard. I'm it's so funny. It's funny to

854
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:03,040
Speaker 1: do this because I'm so fucking indecisive in my personal

855
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:07,319
Speaker 1: life that, like, it just feels crazy for me to

856
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:09,960
Speaker 1: try to tell other people what to do with their lives.

857
00:55:09,960 --> 00:55:13,280
Speaker 1: But we again, we can ponder. I like a good pondering.

858
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:22,879
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say this, h you're doing what you're doing,

859
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:24,560
Speaker 1: what you're doing is so hard. You got a heart.

860
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:27,359
Speaker 1: This is a hard life. This is a really hard life.

861
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:29,080
Speaker 1: I can't speak to the job thing, but I would

862
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:32,440
Speaker 1: just say that you should decide whether or not you

863
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:34,799
Speaker 1: like your boyfriends, and it's okay if you don't. It's

864
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:37,400
Speaker 1: okay if you don't like your boyfriend. It's not insane

865
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:40,080
Speaker 1: for you and your boyfriend to break up. It's not

866
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 1: the worst thing that could possibly happen. You're twenty three

867
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:46,920
Speaker 1: years old, you know it's not insane that the boyfriend

868
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:49,719
Speaker 1: you had when you were young and as you get

869
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:52,600
Speaker 1: older you drift apart. I'll just say, it's not insane.

870
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:56,160
Speaker 1: It's not you know, me telling you what to do.

871
00:55:56,320 --> 00:56:00,200
Speaker 1: But where are we at here? Let's do a few more,

872
00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:14,000
Speaker 1: shall we? Okay? This is from Chao subject line story

873
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 1: about my ex. I met this girl in high school.

874
00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:21,360
Speaker 1: She wasn't just another student. I remember her as someone

875
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:23,680
Speaker 1: who lit up the room when she laughed. So when

876
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:27,680
Speaker 1: I immediately felt drawn to we became friends. Nothing more

877
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 1: at the time, just the kind of friendship that grows

878
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:34,400
Speaker 1: in between classes, notes passed during boring lectures, and small

879
00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:37,600
Speaker 1: talk at the gate after school. But life moved on

880
00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:42,040
Speaker 1: and after graduation we lost touch. Years went by. One day,

881
00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:45,399
Speaker 1: while flipping through my old graduation book, her face caught

882
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:48,800
Speaker 1: my eye. It was one of those random nostalgic moments

883
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:51,759
Speaker 1: that catches you off guard. On impulse, I looked her

884
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:55,640
Speaker 1: up on social media. Her profile popped up. She was married,

885
00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:59,080
Speaker 1: had a child. A small knot formed in my stomach,

886
00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:03,120
Speaker 1: but I clicked follow anyway. To my surprise, she accepted

887
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:11,279
Speaker 1: and started reacting. Okay. To my surprise, she accepted, and

888
00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 1: I started reacting to her stories, just casual, harmless likes

889
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:20,160
Speaker 1: at first, a laughing emoji here, a heart there. I

890
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:22,160
Speaker 1: don't know if I like where this is going. Then

891
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:25,360
Speaker 1: one day she replied it was a simple message, but

892
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 1: it opened a floodgate. We started talking morning afternoon night.

893
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 1: Our conversations grew deeper, more intimate. It didn't take long

894
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:40,520
Speaker 1: before we confessed old curiosities, feelings that maybe had always

895
00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:49,400
Speaker 1: been there under the surface. Eventually she agreed to meet up.

896
00:57:50,360 --> 00:57:53,480
Speaker 1: One dinner led to a kiss. One kiss led to

897
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:56,920
Speaker 1: a night together, and soon we were seeing each other regularly.

898
00:57:57,520 --> 00:58:00,680
Speaker 1: She began confiding in me about her marriage, how broken

899
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:04,560
Speaker 1: things were. Eventually she told me she was leaving her husband.

900
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:10,720
Speaker 1: It wasn't a clean break it never is. There was stress, arguments, chaos,

901
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:13,720
Speaker 1: but she did it, and after a period she moved

902
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:16,400
Speaker 1: in with me, and her son came too. He was

903
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 1: twelve at the time, but kids have a way of

904
00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:21,760
Speaker 1: sensing where they're safe, and at some point he started

905
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:26,080
Speaker 1: calling me dad. I didn't expect that, but it was

906
00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:30,920
Speaker 1: a good feeling. We became a family, me, her and

907
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:35,000
Speaker 1: the boy. Those months together were messy but beautiful. I

908
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:39,240
Speaker 1: thought we had something real. Then one day I came

909
00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:43,600
Speaker 1: home and she was gone, just like that, no big fight,

910
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:49,240
Speaker 1: no warning. I called her desperate. She said she needed space,

911
00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:51,800
Speaker 1: that she wanted to live on her own again. I

912
00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:54,400
Speaker 1: didn't understand it, but I tried to respect it. And

913
00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:57,480
Speaker 1: after some time we started seeing each other again. But

914
00:58:57,560 --> 00:59:01,600
Speaker 1: it was different, now, more distant, more fit. She told

915
00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:05,160
Speaker 1: me she didn't want a relationship anymore, just sex, and

916
00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 1: I went along with it. For a year and four

917
00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:12,840
Speaker 1: months I visited her apartment, no promises, no strings, just

918
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:17,840
Speaker 1: that strange, haunting arrangement, and eventually I couldn't do it anymore.

919
00:59:18,160 --> 00:59:21,640
Speaker 1: I walked away, cut contact. I needed more than she

920
00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:25,320
Speaker 1: was willing to give. Time passed. A year later. You

921
00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:28,360
Speaker 1: guys are really good writers. There's been a lot of

922
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:32,520
Speaker 1: really good, well written emails said to this show. I

923
00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:36,000
Speaker 1: appreciate you guys. Okay. Time passed. A year later. I

924
00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:39,240
Speaker 1: met someone new at university. Wait, you met someone new

925
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:41,840
Speaker 1: at How old are you? Guys? Man? She had a

926
00:59:41,840 --> 00:59:49,520
Speaker 1: twelve year old son. How uh? Anyway, whatever I can't

927
00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 1: get I'm not gonna try to get the timeline on this.

928
00:59:52,360 --> 00:59:55,200
Speaker 1: A year later, I met someone new at university. She

929
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:59,640
Speaker 1: was warm, curious, and she listened, really listened. We started

930
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:03,479
Speaker 1: going out. It was healthy, calm, something I hadn't known

931
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,840
Speaker 1: I needed then. Just a few days ago, we were

932
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:10,160
Speaker 1: talking about our pasts and I told her everything, the

933
01:00:10,240 --> 01:00:14,560
Speaker 1: whole strange, tangled story. She went quiet for a moment,

934
01:00:14,880 --> 01:00:18,400
Speaker 1: and that said something that floored me. She has a

935
01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:21,480
Speaker 1: coworker that has a wife with the name of my ex.

936
01:00:21,920 --> 01:00:23,520
Speaker 1: And we went to look at a photo and there

937
01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:27,360
Speaker 1: it was. He is the woman's husband, and they had

938
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:31,200
Speaker 1: never actually split up with her. According to him, they

939
01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:33,800
Speaker 1: had a fight, sure, but they got back together, not

940
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:38,120
Speaker 1: long after it had never lasted months, they had always

941
01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:41,200
Speaker 1: been officially together. It hit me like a punch in

942
01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:44,240
Speaker 1: the gut. All that time, all the pain and weird

943
01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:48,680
Speaker 1: relationship was built on a lie. But well I've kind

944
01:00:48,680 --> 01:00:52,360
Speaker 1: of started that. Wow, what a fucking story. Holy shit.

945
01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:58,560
Speaker 1: I don't I I don't think I can add anything

946
01:00:58,680 --> 01:01:02,440
Speaker 1: it could to this, right, Thank you for sharing that.

947
01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:14,720
Speaker 1: Holy fucking shit, man, that's crazy. Oh jeez, wow, I

948
01:01:14,760 --> 01:01:17,520
Speaker 1: mean yeah, I think here's the thing, right, It's like

949
01:01:17,640 --> 01:01:19,880
Speaker 1: when you meet the fact that you met this lady

950
01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:21,680
Speaker 1: while she was like already married and had a kid,

951
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:24,640
Speaker 1: and then she started like it was. It feels like

952
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:28,680
Speaker 1: by nature of the way that it started, you can

953
01:01:28,760 --> 01:01:31,400
Speaker 1: kind of predict how it ends. And people say that

954
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:35,800
Speaker 1: about this kind of stuff, so but I don't know.

955
01:01:37,400 --> 01:01:41,680
Speaker 1: Every situation is kind of unique. That's a crazy story, man,

956
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:49,200
Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing. Holy shit. I can't I can't

957
01:01:49,200 --> 01:01:52,680
Speaker 1: think of anything to add to this. It was fun,

958
01:01:52,720 --> 01:01:55,280
Speaker 1: It was fun, It was nice. It felt nice to

959
01:01:55,320 --> 01:02:02,960
Speaker 1: read it. What happened to the boy? Call in one time? Kyo,

960
01:02:04,040 --> 01:02:09,680
Speaker 1: we got to talk. Okay, let's see here, I probably

961
01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:13,240
Speaker 1: have time to do a couple more. You guys want

962
01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 1: to listen to a couple more Getmels, let's do that.

963
01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:21,640
Speaker 1: This is from Jeremiah, subject line you can call me Jeremiah.

964
01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:24,880
Speaker 1: I've been going through a weird time with my girlfriend.

965
01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:27,480
Speaker 1: We've been together for three years, and this is the

966
01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:31,200
Speaker 1: longest relationship she's been in I have had, including her,

967
01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:35,760
Speaker 1: seven sexual partners. As I've had long term relationships mostly

968
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:38,880
Speaker 1: and didn't lose my virginity until I was eighteen, she

969
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:41,480
Speaker 1: has had many more, which she attributes to having a

970
01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:44,200
Speaker 1: very rough upbringing and treating sex as less of a

971
01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:48,080
Speaker 1: serious thing. We have amazing sex, definitely the best I've

972
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:50,680
Speaker 1: ever had, and she says I'm the only person that

973
01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:53,360
Speaker 1: has ever made her finish. She also says we've had

974
01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:56,200
Speaker 1: more sex together than she has had with everyone else combined.

975
01:02:57,040 --> 01:03:00,560
Speaker 1: I sertifind myself feeling jealous of her past, not so

976
01:03:00,640 --> 01:03:03,480
Speaker 1: much jealous of her previous partners, but more that she's

977
01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:07,240
Speaker 1: had these variable experiences and I never did. I was

978
01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:09,520
Speaker 1: kind of a loser in high school, and even when

979
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:12,240
Speaker 1: I did start finally having sex, it was only after

980
01:03:12,280 --> 01:03:15,520
Speaker 1: I got comfortable with someone. We've had a few deep

981
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:18,520
Speaker 1: talks about this, and the last time we did, she

982
01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:21,520
Speaker 1: said she'd do pretty much anything to make me feel

983
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:25,440
Speaker 1: better around my lack of experiences. She says that she

984
01:03:25,640 --> 01:03:27,920
Speaker 1: one hundred percent plans on spending the rest of her

985
01:03:27,960 --> 01:03:30,600
Speaker 1: life with me, so she'll do whatever it takes to

986
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:34,040
Speaker 1: make it work. She suggested that maybe I should have

987
01:03:34,120 --> 01:03:37,200
Speaker 1: sex with other people, like a hooker, or that she'd

988
01:03:37,240 --> 01:03:41,120
Speaker 1: be open to a threesome with another girl. I don't

989
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:44,160
Speaker 1: really know how to feel about those ideas. It sounds

990
01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:46,040
Speaker 1: kind of hot, but I also feel like it will

991
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:49,440
Speaker 1: just inherently damage our relationship. Like, no matter what she

992
01:03:49,520 --> 01:03:51,920
Speaker 1: says about being okay with it, I think she will

993
01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:55,760
Speaker 1: be heartbroken or jealous, not to mention, I don't honestly

994
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:58,640
Speaker 1: think I'll feel comfortable doing that with someone else. I

995
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:00,320
Speaker 1: just wish there was a way I could be okay

996
01:04:00,360 --> 01:04:03,960
Speaker 1: with the imbalance between us without interfering with our relationship.

997
01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:06,040
Speaker 1: Like I wish I could just go back in time

998
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:09,040
Speaker 1: and be more adventurous or whatever. It makes me feel

999
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:11,640
Speaker 1: like inadequate or inferior to her. I know that's a

1000
01:04:11,680 --> 01:04:13,560
Speaker 1: silly way to feel, and I'm not such shaming her.

1001
01:04:13,600 --> 01:04:16,000
Speaker 1: I just feel like my ego is in danger. It's

1002
01:04:16,040 --> 01:04:22,120
Speaker 1: just sort of a weird fomo. I guess interesting. See,

1003
01:04:22,200 --> 01:04:25,080
Speaker 1: I I want to I want to dive deeper into

1004
01:04:25,080 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 1: this with you, Jeremiah, because I want to know where

1005
01:04:26,720 --> 01:04:29,480
Speaker 1: the fuck this thing is coming from. Like, you know,

1006
01:04:29,560 --> 01:04:32,640
Speaker 1: who gives a shit? Right, Like if you feel yourself

1007
01:04:33,160 --> 01:04:37,760
Speaker 1: like you if you really enjoy the sex life that

1008
01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:42,800
Speaker 1: you're having with and you've had you've had seven sexual partners,

1009
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:47,280
Speaker 1: and I assume that this what if you've had Let

1010
01:04:47,320 --> 01:04:50,400
Speaker 1: me say that, if you've had seven sexual partners and

1011
01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:55,080
Speaker 1: this lady is the best sex that you've had of

1012
01:04:55,120 --> 01:04:59,560
Speaker 1: those partners, you're fucking not missing anything, dude, You fucking

1013
01:04:59,560 --> 01:05:05,919
Speaker 1: not miss seeing anything. Like if you can be if

1014
01:05:05,960 --> 01:05:11,320
Speaker 1: you're in a relationship with a woman who really wants

1015
01:05:11,360 --> 01:05:13,280
Speaker 1: to be with you, and you really want to be

1016
01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:17,040
Speaker 1: with her, and she is the best sex that you've

1017
01:05:17,040 --> 01:05:22,360
Speaker 1: ever had, you're doing fucking great. What if I please

1018
01:05:22,440 --> 01:05:26,960
Speaker 1: listen to that. There's nothing there's no like crazy, any

1019
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:30,480
Speaker 1: any crazy Tinder hookup that you think you're missing out

1020
01:05:30,480 --> 01:05:36,920
Speaker 1: on is nothing compared to what you have. You know,

1021
01:05:37,160 --> 01:05:38,600
Speaker 1: and you're off, by the way, You're a really fucking

1022
01:05:38,640 --> 01:05:41,600
Speaker 1: smart guy, right because listen, maybe your girl, maybe your

1023
01:05:41,640 --> 01:05:45,200
Speaker 1: girlfriend is like the thing, the thing The thing about

1024
01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:49,000
Speaker 1: her being like, I'll do anything to make you feel

1025
01:05:49,080 --> 01:05:52,200
Speaker 1: better kind of makes it feel like, and you're smart,

1026
01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:54,040
Speaker 1: you're keying into this. It kind of makes it feel

1027
01:05:54,080 --> 01:05:57,280
Speaker 1: like she's genuinely just saying it because she wants because

1028
01:05:57,320 --> 01:05:59,560
Speaker 1: she really likes you and wants you to stay, which

1029
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:02,800
Speaker 1: is a bad reason, you know, because because you're smart,

1030
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:05,520
Speaker 1: you're keying into the fact that she's not probably actually

1031
01:06:05,560 --> 01:06:08,080
Speaker 1: cool with you having sex with a hooker or you

1032
01:06:08,120 --> 01:06:12,840
Speaker 1: having a threesome with another girl. So you've you've approached

1033
01:06:12,840 --> 01:06:17,280
Speaker 1: that situation very smartly. I feel so really, all this

1034
01:06:17,400 --> 01:06:19,960
Speaker 1: is it is just you coming to terms with this

1035
01:06:20,040 --> 01:06:22,800
Speaker 1: weird fomo that you have. But like, dude, I'm telling

1036
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:27,240
Speaker 1: you like that, there's you have nothing to be fomo about. Also,

1037
01:06:27,280 --> 01:06:30,520
Speaker 1: it's not like this is the only girl that you've

1038
01:06:30,560 --> 01:06:32,960
Speaker 1: ever had sex with. You had sex with six other people.

1039
01:06:33,960 --> 01:06:36,439
Speaker 1: You know, you didn't lose your virginia until you're eighteen.

1040
01:06:36,440 --> 01:06:38,280
Speaker 1: I didn't. I don't lose my virginia til I was eighteen.

1041
01:06:38,600 --> 01:06:40,400
Speaker 1: Most a lot of people haven't lost to virginiay till

1042
01:06:40,440 --> 01:06:45,120
Speaker 1: we're eighteen. It's not the I think you're you fear missing,

1043
01:06:45,280 --> 01:06:50,120
Speaker 1: Like the thing you have fomo for it is. First

1044
01:06:50,160 --> 01:06:53,240
Speaker 1: of all, it just doesn't it just doesn't exist. You

1045
01:06:53,280 --> 01:06:57,000
Speaker 1: had sex with six other people and this is the best.

1046
01:06:57,160 --> 01:06:59,640
Speaker 1: This lady was the best of the of all of them.

1047
01:07:00,440 --> 01:07:03,960
Speaker 1: So I don't know, you sound like you know how

1048
01:07:04,040 --> 01:07:09,920
Speaker 1: ridiculous this feeling is. But everything you're talking about is

1049
01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:12,800
Speaker 1: just it's very it's like so normal, and you just

1050
01:07:12,880 --> 01:07:16,840
Speaker 1: you ended up in the best scenario, right because you

1051
01:07:16,840 --> 01:07:21,880
Speaker 1: don't want to be like you don't want to be

1052
01:07:21,960 --> 01:07:24,960
Speaker 1: with another lady thinking about like sex you had with

1053
01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:27,800
Speaker 1: another with a different lady, you know what I mean,

1054
01:07:28,120 --> 01:07:30,600
Speaker 1: keep you're in. I just want Jeremiah, You're in a

1055
01:07:30,640 --> 01:07:33,240
Speaker 1: good You're in a really good place. Dude, You're in

1056
01:07:33,280 --> 01:07:38,760
Speaker 1: a really good place. Obviously, whatever is happening with you

1057
01:07:38,840 --> 01:07:41,040
Speaker 1: is something internal that I don't think I can really fix.

1058
01:07:41,120 --> 01:07:44,720
Speaker 1: But if you are hearing me say this, you're missing

1059
01:07:44,800 --> 01:07:48,720
Speaker 1: out on nothing. Continue having great sex with your girlfriend,

1060
01:07:49,120 --> 01:07:51,440
Speaker 1: tell her that you don't need to have a threesome

1061
01:07:51,440 --> 01:07:54,720
Speaker 1: with another girl, and just fucking be in that you Also,

1062
01:07:54,760 --> 01:07:56,960
Speaker 1: you don't even sound like you want to if your

1063
01:07:57,000 --> 01:08:01,640
Speaker 1: whole thing is like you need to be uh really

1064
01:08:01,680 --> 01:08:04,400
Speaker 1: comfortable with the person, and like you don't sound like

1065
01:08:04,400 --> 01:08:07,600
Speaker 1: you're gonna want to like do those things anyway. So

1066
01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:12,960
Speaker 1: just be in this relationship, like just you got to

1067
01:08:12,960 --> 01:08:14,360
Speaker 1: get over this hang up. I don't know where it's

1068
01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:15,920
Speaker 1: even coming from. I don't even think you know where

1069
01:08:15,920 --> 01:08:18,920
Speaker 1: it's coming from. So you know, call in at some

1070
01:08:18,960 --> 01:08:20,920
Speaker 1: point because I want to really examine this with you

1071
01:08:21,640 --> 01:08:24,280
Speaker 1: because I'm very curious where this this is, where this

1072
01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:29,160
Speaker 1: is coming from? Okay, folks, I think that's it for me.

1073
01:08:29,240 --> 01:08:30,960
Speaker 1: I think that this was gek mail. I hope this

1074
01:08:31,080 --> 01:08:33,680
Speaker 1: was a good episode. I uh, I had to kind

1075
01:08:33,720 --> 01:08:36,240
Speaker 1: of record it in parts because I was feeling a

1076
01:08:36,280 --> 01:08:39,880
Speaker 1: little insane. But we'll be back with the phone calls soon.

1077
01:08:39,960 --> 01:08:41,720
Speaker 1: I've just been to home in Baltimore, so I've been

1078
01:08:41,880 --> 01:08:49,040
Speaker 1: recording these audio only gek mails. Anyway, Thanks for bearing

1079
01:08:49,040 --> 01:08:51,400
Speaker 1: with me, Thanks for listening to this, thanks for being here,

1080
01:08:51,439 --> 01:08:53,519
Speaker 1: Thanks for sending me these emails. You can send me

1081
01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:58,000
Speaker 1: more at therapy geckomail dot com. I'm putting my tour

1082
01:08:58,080 --> 01:09:01,120
Speaker 1: together for twenty twenty six. I'm really excited about it.

1083
01:09:01,160 --> 01:09:05,120
Speaker 1: Please go to therapy geckotour dot com and put your

1084
01:09:05,120 --> 01:09:07,040
Speaker 1: information in there so I can tell you when I'm

1085
01:09:07,080 --> 01:09:12,360
Speaker 1: coming to your city. That's it. That's all I have

1086
01:09:12,439 --> 01:09:15,920
Speaker 1: to say. Thank you guys for emailing. I hope that

1087
01:09:15,960 --> 01:09:18,320
Speaker 1: this was good. If you have thoughts about the show,

1088
01:09:18,400 --> 01:09:22,120
Speaker 1: I'm I'm down. I'm down to do different kinds of stuff.

1089
01:09:22,160 --> 01:09:24,360
Speaker 1: I want to experiment more with the podcast. So if

1090
01:09:24,360 --> 01:09:27,519
Speaker 1: you have ideas or thoughts or whatever, I'm crazy. I

1091
01:09:27,600 --> 01:09:31,439
Speaker 1: read all the Spotify comments. I really shouldn't, but I

1092
01:09:31,520 --> 01:09:33,479
Speaker 1: do so if you have. If you have something to

1093
01:09:33,479 --> 01:09:38,679
Speaker 1: say to me, I'll read it in the Spotify comments. Okay,

1094
01:09:38,720 --> 01:09:42,080
Speaker 1: that's it. I'm gonna go. Thank you all, get blessed.

1095
01:09:42,439 --> 01:09:46,479
Speaker 1: See you guys around the universe. Goes on the line,

1096
01:09:46,720 --> 01:09:51,519
Speaker 1: making your phone calls every night, Goes, I just teaching

1097
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:55,640
Speaker 1: you loud in the line expert