WEBVTT - Bonus: Listener Stories, Episode 8

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<v Speaker 1>Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>Danny Shapiro, and this is family Secrets, the secrets that

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<v Speaker 1>are kept from us, the secrets we keep from others,

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<v Speaker 1>and the secrets we keep from ourselves. I've heard from

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<v Speaker 1>so many about your own family secrets and realize that

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<v Speaker 1>what we are creating for each other on this podcast

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<v Speaker 1>is a community, a community for those who are looking

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<v Speaker 1>for a safe and supportive space to unburden themselves. To

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<v Speaker 1>that end, we've created a number for listeners to call

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<v Speaker 1>in to record stories to share here in this space.

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<v Speaker 1>This week, I'd like to share a few of those

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<v Speaker 1>stories from our community. Thanks for listening. My secret is

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<v Speaker 1>that I am withholding information from two of my grandchildren

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<v Speaker 1>and about how their father died, and that from one

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<v Speaker 1>of them, from the youngest one, that his father is

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<v Speaker 1>even dead. Um. The youngest one is emotionally not stable,

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<v Speaker 1>and according to their separate psychologists and psychiatrists, they say

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<v Speaker 1>that they are not ready to hear the details of

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<v Speaker 1>how their father died, and the youngest one is under

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<v Speaker 1>the belief that his father just left him. I tried

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<v Speaker 1>to reassure him, but the secret is my son was

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<v Speaker 1>actually murdered by their mother. He was murdered by his wife,

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<v Speaker 1>buried by their uncle, and it was all months before

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<v Speaker 1>she was dug up and given back to us. They

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<v Speaker 1>do not know that their uncle was convicted of this

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<v Speaker 1>murder and that their mother still walks free and it's

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<v Speaker 1>actually the murderer of their father. So that's my secret.

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<v Speaker 1>I love the podcast, been listening since the beginning and

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<v Speaker 1>never thought I would ever have anything that fell into this.

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<v Speaker 1>But today I was informed by one of my siblings

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<v Speaker 1>that they had been a d n A test and

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<v Speaker 1>our father, his family does not show up as we

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<v Speaker 1>thought it would. Her mother is there. We have separate

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<v Speaker 1>mothers with mothers there um, but she isn't. So now

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<v Speaker 1>I've chosen to take this bat as it's called, and

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<v Speaker 1>to find out, if to confirm her what her speculations are.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's my family secrets. Talked to my wife's and

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<v Speaker 1>my kids to make sure that they understand it why

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<v Speaker 1>I am doing this, and but we've always been open

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<v Speaker 1>about board about it u from the beginning. So it

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<v Speaker 1>was quite white a spectacular tale to find out from

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<v Speaker 1>her um, to not find out that the name I

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<v Speaker 1>carry does not actually maybe belong to me, but we

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<v Speaker 1>were raised by them, so um, I guess it shouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>change anything in the long run, but it just is

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<v Speaker 1>an odd skeleton defined in the closet. Thank you for

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<v Speaker 1>your time. When I'm was eighteen and I smoked pot

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<v Speaker 1>for the first time, the smell was new to me,

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<v Speaker 1>but then again, it wasn't. The smell was that of

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<v Speaker 1>my father. I remember the smell very well, and it

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<v Speaker 1>smelled like his house, his car, and his clothes. And

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<v Speaker 1>I realized at that point that my father smoked pot.

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<v Speaker 1>Not really a big deal. Um that Christmas when I

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<v Speaker 1>was a p and I told him that I smoked pot,

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<v Speaker 1>and I know that he did because of the smell.

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<v Speaker 1>And at that moment, he had lifted up a paper

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<v Speaker 1>plate from underneath of his coffee table. He had always

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<v Speaker 1>told me, well, one time he had to All he

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<v Speaker 1>had to do was tell me one time. I always

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<v Speaker 1>listened to my father. He had always kept this paper

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<v Speaker 1>plate underneath the coffee table. And when I asked him

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<v Speaker 1>one time when I was a kid, what is this

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<v Speaker 1>and I went to grab it, he's in his rat poison.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't touch it. And never touched it or thought of

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<v Speaker 1>it again. So that Christmas. When I told him that

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<v Speaker 1>I knew he smoked pots. I could smell it. He

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<v Speaker 1>reached down unto the coffee table, wrapped it, grabbed that plate,

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<v Speaker 1>put it up on the coffee people and there were

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<v Speaker 1>whirling papers. Pot grinder proceeded to roll up joints and

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<v Speaker 1>we smoke together again. And UM, I wasn't totally shocked.

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<v Speaker 1>I was a little bit of a rebel. But after

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<v Speaker 1>we got stoned, my father took me outside when he

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to show me something, and he took me into

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<v Speaker 1>his workshop. He was very proud of the workshop he built.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a tiny ship that he built on top

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<v Speaker 1>of the septic tank. He went into the shed. It

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<v Speaker 1>was nighttime and as I walked inside, the floorboards were

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<v Speaker 1>glowing when I opened the floorboards. When I walked in,

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<v Speaker 1>I could see their light coming from under the floorboards,

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<v Speaker 1>and I said, I thought there was a septic tank.

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<v Speaker 1>He lived up the floorboards and underneath it was a

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<v Speaker 1>giant row house. I found out that night that my

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<v Speaker 1>father was a drug dealer. Hi. I um halfway through

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<v Speaker 1>Danny's book and find it very touchy. I knew that

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<v Speaker 1>my moment had me and UH wasn't with my bio

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<v Speaker 1>dat um classic one night stand, I suppose, and I

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<v Speaker 1>had really built up a picture in my kid as

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<v Speaker 1>a kid, but we never ever talked about it. Um.

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<v Speaker 1>And in her last year of life, when she was

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<v Speaker 1>signing of cancer, when I was going four, Uh, I

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<v Speaker 1>just never was able to talk to her about it.

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<v Speaker 1>So it took me a couple of years to um

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<v Speaker 1>bring up the record, the adoption record. And when I

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<v Speaker 1>reached out to my birth father, uh, he really wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>interested in a relationship. So I found that really interesting

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<v Speaker 1>and really poignant. UM when Danny said, you know, the

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<v Speaker 1>secret was me So it's Facebook, Um, you know on

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<v Speaker 1>LinkedIn with his person last name, it was really Uh

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<v Speaker 1>it's a matter of googling. But it's just so strange

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<v Speaker 1>that I have this entire biological out of my family

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<v Speaker 1>out there and none of them know I except my

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<v Speaker 1>bio dad and constantly his wife. So I've really struggled

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<v Speaker 1>with kind of reconciling myself that we'll never have a relationship,

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<v Speaker 1>and he's calling the shocks, and I'm just not sure

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<v Speaker 1>whether to reach out to any of the other members

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<v Speaker 1>of my biological family. I was raised by my mom,

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<v Speaker 1>she was married, she had kissed with my adoptive father.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm really close to the family that raised me. However,

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<v Speaker 1>it feels like there's this missing hole because personality wise,

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<v Speaker 1>even from one message, I could just tell I'm just

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<v Speaker 1>so much more like my bio dad. I have nothing

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<v Speaker 1>in common with my adoptive father. He's a great guy,

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<v Speaker 1>but that connection of like how our brains work, is

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<v Speaker 1>there for sure. Yeah, if you'd like to share your story,

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<v Speaker 1>call one eight eight eight secret zero and record your story.

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<v Speaker 1>We won't be able to run all the stories, but

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<v Speaker 1>we do want to shine a light on as many

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<v Speaker 1>as we can. The number again is one eight eight

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<v Speaker 1>eight secret and then the numeral zero. For more podcasts

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<v Speaker 1>for my heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app,

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<v Speaker 1>Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.