1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:11,440 Speaker 1: Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm 2 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 1: Danny Shapiro, and this is family Secrets, the secrets that 3 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,440 Speaker 1: are kept from us, the secrets we keep from others, 4 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:22,960 Speaker 1: and the secrets we keep from ourselves. I've heard from 5 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:26,760 Speaker 1: so many about your own family secrets and realize that 6 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: what we are creating for each other on this podcast 7 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: is a community, a community for those who are looking 8 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 1: for a safe and supportive space to unburden themselves. To 9 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 1: that end, we've created a number for listeners to call 10 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,839 Speaker 1: in to record stories to share here in this space. 11 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: This week, I'd like to share a few of those 12 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: stories from our community. Thanks for listening. My secret is 13 00:00:54,080 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 1: that I am withholding information from two of my grandchildren 14 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 1: and about how their father died, and that from one 15 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 1: of them, from the youngest one, that his father is 16 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 1: even dead. Um. The youngest one is emotionally not stable, 17 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 1: and according to their separate psychologists and psychiatrists, they say 18 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:32,560 Speaker 1: that they are not ready to hear the details of 19 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 1: how their father died, and the youngest one is under 20 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:42,319 Speaker 1: the belief that his father just left him. I tried 21 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 1: to reassure him, but the secret is my son was 22 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: actually murdered by their mother. He was murdered by his wife, 23 00:01:54,800 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: buried by their uncle, and it was all months before 24 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:06,120 Speaker 1: she was dug up and given back to us. They 25 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,519 Speaker 1: do not know that their uncle was convicted of this 26 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:15,079 Speaker 1: murder and that their mother still walks free and it's 27 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 1: actually the murderer of their father. So that's my secret. 28 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:30,080 Speaker 1: I love the podcast, been listening since the beginning and 29 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: never thought I would ever have anything that fell into this. 30 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,640 Speaker 1: But today I was informed by one of my siblings 31 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:40,440 Speaker 1: that they had been a d n A test and 32 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:46,440 Speaker 1: our father, his family does not show up as we 33 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:49,920 Speaker 1: thought it would. Her mother is there. We have separate 34 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:55,399 Speaker 1: mothers with mothers there um, but she isn't. So now 35 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: I've chosen to take this bat as it's called, and 36 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:04,919 Speaker 1: to find out, if to confirm her what her speculations are. 37 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:09,640 Speaker 1: So that's my family secrets. Talked to my wife's and 38 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 1: my kids to make sure that they understand it why 39 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 1: I am doing this, and but we've always been open 40 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: about board about it u from the beginning. So it 41 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 1: was quite white a spectacular tale to find out from 42 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:26,160 Speaker 1: her um, to not find out that the name I 43 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: carry does not actually maybe belong to me, but we 44 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 1: were raised by them, so um, I guess it shouldn't 45 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: change anything in the long run, but it just is 46 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 1: an odd skeleton defined in the closet. Thank you for 47 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 1: your time. When I'm was eighteen and I smoked pot 48 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:50,280 Speaker 1: for the first time, the smell was new to me, 49 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:55,160 Speaker 1: but then again, it wasn't. The smell was that of 50 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 1: my father. I remember the smell very well, and it 51 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: smelled like his house, his car, and his clothes. And 52 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:03,840 Speaker 1: I realized at that point that my father smoked pot. 53 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 1: Not really a big deal. Um that Christmas when I 54 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 1: was a p and I told him that I smoked pot, 55 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 1: and I know that he did because of the smell. 56 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: And at that moment, he had lifted up a paper 57 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 1: plate from underneath of his coffee table. He had always 58 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 1: told me, well, one time he had to All he 59 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:25,800 Speaker 1: had to do was tell me one time. I always 60 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 1: listened to my father. He had always kept this paper 61 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:33,720 Speaker 1: plate underneath the coffee table. And when I asked him 62 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 1: one time when I was a kid, what is this 63 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 1: and I went to grab it, he's in his rat poison. 64 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,279 Speaker 1: Don't touch it. And never touched it or thought of 65 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 1: it again. So that Christmas. When I told him that 66 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:45,359 Speaker 1: I knew he smoked pots. I could smell it. He 67 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 1: reached down unto the coffee table, wrapped it, grabbed that plate, 68 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,599 Speaker 1: put it up on the coffee people and there were 69 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:58,160 Speaker 1: whirling papers. Pot grinder proceeded to roll up joints and 70 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 1: we smoke together again. And UM, I wasn't totally shocked. 71 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,719 Speaker 1: I was a little bit of a rebel. But after 72 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,480 Speaker 1: we got stoned, my father took me outside when he 73 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,320 Speaker 1: wanted to show me something, and he took me into 74 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,520 Speaker 1: his workshop. He was very proud of the workshop he built. 75 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 1: It was a tiny ship that he built on top 76 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,920 Speaker 1: of the septic tank. He went into the shed. It 77 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 1: was nighttime and as I walked inside, the floorboards were 78 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:31,279 Speaker 1: glowing when I opened the floorboards. When I walked in, 79 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,600 Speaker 1: I could see their light coming from under the floorboards, 80 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 1: and I said, I thought there was a septic tank. 81 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 1: He lived up the floorboards and underneath it was a 82 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 1: giant row house. I found out that night that my 83 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 1: father was a drug dealer. Hi. I um halfway through 84 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:55,839 Speaker 1: Danny's book and find it very touchy. I knew that 85 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:02,599 Speaker 1: my moment had me and UH wasn't with my bio 86 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 1: dat um classic one night stand, I suppose, and I 87 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 1: had really built up a picture in my kid as 88 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,280 Speaker 1: a kid, but we never ever talked about it. Um. 89 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 1: And in her last year of life, when she was 90 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:19,120 Speaker 1: signing of cancer, when I was going four, Uh, I 91 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,160 Speaker 1: just never was able to talk to her about it. 92 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: So it took me a couple of years to um 93 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:32,159 Speaker 1: bring up the record, the adoption record. And when I 94 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,560 Speaker 1: reached out to my birth father, uh, he really wasn't 95 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:40,160 Speaker 1: interested in a relationship. So I found that really interesting 96 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 1: and really poignant. UM when Danny said, you know, the 97 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 1: secret was me So it's Facebook, Um, you know on 98 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 1: LinkedIn with his person last name, it was really Uh 99 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 1: it's a matter of googling. But it's just so strange 100 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:00,840 Speaker 1: that I have this entire biological out of my family 101 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 1: out there and none of them know I except my 102 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:08,800 Speaker 1: bio dad and constantly his wife. So I've really struggled 103 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 1: with kind of reconciling myself that we'll never have a relationship, 104 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 1: and he's calling the shocks, and I'm just not sure 105 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 1: whether to reach out to any of the other members 106 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:25,119 Speaker 1: of my biological family. I was raised by my mom, 107 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:28,760 Speaker 1: she was married, she had kissed with my adoptive father. 108 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:33,160 Speaker 1: I'm really close to the family that raised me. However, 109 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 1: it feels like there's this missing hole because personality wise, 110 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,440 Speaker 1: even from one message, I could just tell I'm just 111 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:45,240 Speaker 1: so much more like my bio dad. I have nothing 112 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,559 Speaker 1: in common with my adoptive father. He's a great guy, 113 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 1: but that connection of like how our brains work, is 114 00:07:54,000 --> 00:08:08,040 Speaker 1: there for sure. Yeah, if you'd like to share your story, 115 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 1: call one eight eight eight secret zero and record your story. 116 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 1: We won't be able to run all the stories, but 117 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 1: we do want to shine a light on as many 118 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 1: as we can. The number again is one eight eight 119 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:37,479 Speaker 1: eight secret and then the numeral zero. For more podcasts 120 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 1: for my heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, 121 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.